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1
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:10,315
Hey
2
00:00:10,315 --> 00:00:12,798
when did you start reading
a tennis magazine?
3
00:00:12,798 --> 00:00:17,147
Since I realized the men wear
shorts even in winter
4
00:00:19,693 --> 00:00:22,354
When did I become that guy?
5
00:00:23,001 --> 00:00:25,253
Barney's was crazy
6
00:00:25,253 --> 00:00:30,586
Ok, what would you do if there was
only one size four cashmere camisole
7
00:00:30,586 --> 00:00:32,307
and this woman starts crying
8
00:00:32,307 --> 00:00:35,723
and says she needs it
to wear to a funeral?
9
00:00:36,844 --> 00:00:37,931
You'd have to give it to her, right?
10
00:00:37,931 --> 00:00:38,774
Yeah
11
00:00:38,774 --> 00:00:41,681
Good...
I think I'll use that one again
12
00:00:43,972 --> 00:00:47,018
So, are you packed?
We have to leave in like 45 minutes
13
00:00:47,018 --> 00:00:48,052
For what?
14
00:00:48,052 --> 00:00:49,625
Danny's wedding
It's this weekend
15
00:00:49,625 --> 00:00:51,231
What, you were
serious about that?
16
00:00:51,231 --> 00:00:52,745
Of course!
Why wouldn't I be?
17
00:00:52,745 --> 00:00:55,375
Because why would you want to
go to your ex-fiance wedding?
18
00:00:55,375 --> 00:00:58,696
You didn't show up when you were
the bride, why show up now?
19
00:00:59,323 --> 00:01:00,869
I have to, I was invited
20
00:01:00,869 --> 00:01:02,820
If I don't go, it'll seem like
I'm devastated
21
00:01:02,820 --> 00:01:04,146
because he's getting
married before me
22
00:01:04,146 --> 00:01:06,348
- Which you are
- Which I am
23
00:01:06,348 --> 00:01:09,905
but if I go as the sexy, independent
carefree, ex-girlfriend
24
00:01:09,905 --> 00:01:11,901
in the fabulous
cashmere camisole
25
00:01:11,901 --> 00:01:14,785
that makes me look booby
and rich, then I win
26
00:01:16,469 --> 00:01:19,859
So this is just some sort of
petty game to show up someone
27
00:01:19,859 --> 00:01:21,478
you don't even really
care about anyway?
28
00:01:21,478 --> 00:01:23,561
Yeah!
29
00:01:24,611 --> 00:01:26,719
Then I'm on board
30
00:01:28,090 --> 00:01:30,069
Hey, what's new? Oh, really?
that's good, that's great
31
00:01:30,069 --> 00:01:32,810
you guys work hard
you deserve it
32
00:01:34,909 --> 00:01:36,154
What's new with me?
33
00:01:36,154 --> 00:01:37,279
Not too much
34
00:01:37,279 --> 00:01:39,225
Looking good, smelling good
If I weren't so busy
35
00:01:39,225 --> 00:01:41,296
I'd date myself!
36
00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:46,217
Ok, I've read about this
You're never supposed to wake them
37
00:01:46,748 --> 00:01:49,158
What's new with
my son Elliot, you ask?
38
00:01:49,158 --> 00:01:51,396
Oh, boy!
39
00:01:51,942 --> 00:01:55,255
Hey, how you doing?
I'll call you, or not
40
00:01:56,257 --> 00:01:58,473
Wow, Elliot, the hair
41
00:01:58,473 --> 00:02:03,058
It's--it's very...
Nice day for a white wedding
42
00:02:04,630 --> 00:02:06,010
Well, I think it's cool
43
00:02:06,010 --> 00:02:08,136
Chicks seem to like it
Do you like it?
44
00:02:08,136 --> 00:02:09,258
- I think it's very--
- No, no, no
45
00:02:09,258 --> 00:02:10,624
if you want to know
about gay stuff, ask Grace
46
00:02:10,624 --> 00:02:11,892
If you want to know
about girl stuff, ask Will
47
00:02:11,892 --> 00:02:13,436
What do you think?
48
00:02:34,784 --> 00:02:36,238
Grace, I gotta say
this feels a little weird
49
00:02:36,238 --> 00:02:38,019
Are you sure we're even invited
to the rehearsal dinner?
50
00:02:38,019 --> 00:02:41,034
Well, we weren't not invited
Mix in
51
00:02:41,034 --> 00:02:44,555
Gracie! Hey, you're here
I wasn't sure you'd come
52
00:02:44,555 --> 00:02:45,076
Hi
53
00:02:45,507 --> 00:02:49,190
Well, I was the runaway bride
I didn't want to be the runaway guest
54
00:02:49,190 --> 00:02:51,389
I'm so fine with this
55
00:02:51,915 --> 00:02:52,833
And Will
56
00:02:52,833 --> 00:02:55,042
I should've guessed
you'd be the "plus one."
57
00:02:55,042 --> 00:02:57,829
Well, that's me
Always a "plus one," never a bride
58
00:02:57,829 --> 00:02:59,492
Oh, speaking of which
I want you guys to meet someone
59
00:02:59,492 --> 00:03:01,192
- Honey?
- Uh-huh?
60
00:03:01,192 --> 00:03:03,177
Sweetie, this is Grace
and her friend Will
61
00:03:03,177 --> 00:03:05,227
Guys, this is Sarah
62
00:03:05,227 --> 00:03:07,530
Oh, Grace the decorator, right?
63
00:03:07,530 --> 00:03:11,572
Yeah, I saw that piece on you in
that Architectural Digest thing
64
00:03:11,572 --> 00:03:14,474
- You're kind of famous
- Oh, heh heh!
65
00:03:14,474 --> 00:03:17,304
Let's not forget House & Garden
66
00:03:18,062 --> 00:03:20,679
And World of Interiors
67
00:03:21,234 --> 00:03:23,329
But who's keeping track?
68
00:03:23,813 --> 00:03:25,083
And what do you do, Will?
69
00:03:25,083 --> 00:03:28,451
- I'm a lawyer
- Oh, I'm sorry
70
00:03:30,906 --> 00:03:33,949
- Well, uh, see you guys
- Yeah, bye!
71
00:03:36,075 --> 00:03:37,974
God, I hate when people do that
72
00:03:37,974 --> 00:03:39,952
The hear the word "lawyer,"
and they just shut down
73
00:03:39,952 --> 00:03:42,342
It's like they stop
listening at that moment
74
00:03:42,342 --> 00:03:44,415
I'm prettier, right?
75
00:03:46,592 --> 00:03:49,223
No, no, I'm staying
at Will and Grace's
76
00:03:49,223 --> 00:03:51,323
Yeah, they're gone
all weekend, mm-hmm
77
00:03:51,323 --> 00:03:54,166
I don't know
I think they're on their honeymoon
78
00:03:54,166 --> 00:03:56,651
Ok, hate you
call me later, bye-bye
79
00:03:58,818 --> 00:04:00,430
Knock-knock
Anybody homo?
80
00:04:00,430 --> 00:04:02,401
I am, I am!
81
00:04:06,682 --> 00:04:08,062
So, listen, Jackie
82
00:04:08,062 --> 00:04:11,059
Stan and I had this tropical
getaway planned for next week
83
00:04:11,059 --> 00:04:12,419
but seeing as
how he's in the prison
84
00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:15,485
warding off French kisses from
a 500-pound fella named Tiny
85
00:04:15,485 --> 00:04:17,257
I've got an extra ticket!
86
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:18,392
Jamaica!
87
00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:22,188
Oh, my-- Ooh
look at that hot cabana boy
88
00:04:22,188 --> 00:04:25,677
His sarong is so wrong
89
00:04:26,504 --> 00:04:28,127
Oh, it's heaven, honey
90
00:04:28,127 --> 00:04:31,364
They pick you up at the airport
and whisk you away in a covered limo
91
00:04:31,364 --> 00:04:33,329
You never once have to
look at a local
92
00:04:33,329 --> 00:04:34,467
it's good
93
00:04:35,032 --> 00:04:37,172
- Oh, wait, I can't go
- Wh--?!
94
00:04:37,172 --> 00:04:38,495
Thursday is career day
at Elliot's school
95
00:04:38,495 --> 00:04:40,799
and I only have a week to
figure out what I do
96
00:04:40,799 --> 00:04:45,463
I'm thinking Hugh Jackman's
body double or Secretary of State
97
00:04:47,222 --> 00:04:49,364
Oh, kids ruin everything!
98
00:04:49,364 --> 00:04:52,905
I mean, look at the stitching on
this thing, huh?
99
00:04:56,951 --> 00:05:01,410
You cannot trust a ten-year-old
to do a good hidden button
100
00:05:03,130 --> 00:05:04,484
Oh, come on, Jackie
101
00:05:04,484 --> 00:05:07,090
Come to the islands, mon
102
00:05:16,506 --> 00:05:18,985
No, I can't!
Stop it!
103
00:05:19,685 --> 00:05:22,388
I promised his mother I'd be there
104
00:05:22,651 --> 00:05:23,934
It's Bonnie, open up
105
00:05:23,934 --> 00:05:25,006
Oh, that's her, ok
106
00:05:25,006 --> 00:05:28,854
She really counts on me
you know, looks up to me in a way
107
00:05:28,854 --> 00:05:31,898
And why wouldn't she?
She's shorter
108
00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:38,030
Jack McFarland
I'm gonna kick your sorry ass
109
00:05:40,687 --> 00:05:43,682
Come on, grab a chair, let's sit down
We gonna have some toasts
110
00:05:43,682 --> 00:05:47,022
First, we're gonna start with
Sarah's college roommate
111
00:05:47,022 --> 00:05:49,964
Everybody... Beth
112
00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:56,713
When Sarah and I were freshmen
at SUNY Potsdam--
113
00:05:56,713 --> 00:05:58,949
- Whoo!
- Whoo!
114
00:06:00,235 --> 00:06:02,988
We realized that
we share two things...
115
00:06:02,988 --> 00:06:05,693
A love of the poetry
of Emily Dickinson
116
00:06:05,693 --> 00:06:09,913
and a love of... Chocolate!
117
00:06:11,350 --> 00:06:12,135
It wasn't until...
118
00:06:12,135 --> 00:06:16,325
So this guy who rear-ends me
he's got some ass-faced lawyer
119
00:06:16,896 --> 00:06:19,160
Before I know it
I'm paying his medical bills
120
00:06:20,247 --> 00:06:21,904
Oh, hi, I'm Holly
121
00:06:21,904 --> 00:06:22,752
this is wayne
122
00:06:22,752 --> 00:06:26,487
I'm manic-depressive
and he raises dogs
123
00:06:27,060 --> 00:06:28,174
Nice to meet you
124
00:06:28,174 --> 00:06:30,793
Uh, I'm Grace
I'm an interior designer
125
00:06:30,793 --> 00:06:32,289
and this is my friend Will
126
00:06:32,289 --> 00:06:34,820
- He's a--
- Professional tennis player
127
00:06:35,564 --> 00:06:36,972
Ok, Sarah's gotten hers
128
00:06:36,972 --> 00:06:39,756
Now let's get somebody up here
to give Danny a hard time
129
00:06:39,756 --> 00:06:41,227
Hey, where's his ex-girlfriend?
130
00:06:41,227 --> 00:06:44,113
Grace, are you here?
131
00:06:46,210 --> 00:06:48,992
Oh, um, no
I didn't prepare anything
132
00:06:48,992 --> 00:06:51,572
Um, just, uh, good luck
133
00:06:51,572 --> 00:06:53,770
Aw, come on, Grace
No one expects you to be funny
134
00:06:53,770 --> 00:06:55,231
Just--
135
00:06:56,059 --> 00:06:58,629
Just wing it
136
00:07:00,946 --> 00:07:02,507
Yeah, come on, you're the ex
137
00:07:02,507 --> 00:07:04,008
Tell us...
138
00:07:04,431 --> 00:07:07,808
- feel bad about giving this one up?
- Oh, God, no!
139
00:07:09,021 --> 00:07:11,788
No, no, I mean, he's--
he's a great guy
140
00:07:11,788 --> 00:07:14,415
but, come on, I've always
thought about having a child
141
00:07:14,415 --> 00:07:16,942
but not as a husband
142
00:07:18,333 --> 00:07:20,516
I'm not saying he's immature
143
00:07:20,516 --> 00:07:25,668
but, um, do most guys need
to get a treat when they flush?
144
00:07:26,963 --> 00:07:29,889
But, uh, to give him
a little credit
145
00:07:29,889 --> 00:07:33,280
I do remember
our first Valentine's Day
146
00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:35,276
He gave me the greatest gift
147
00:07:35,276 --> 00:07:39,385
and it only took six to
eight weeks to get rid of it
148
00:07:45,709 --> 00:07:47,457
I mean, what the hell
were you thinkin'?
149
00:07:47,457 --> 00:07:50,147
I come home from a double shift
and I find "Jonny Quest"
150
00:07:50,147 --> 00:07:53,061
in my kitchen eating
a baloney sandwich
151
00:07:54,407 --> 00:07:59,039
Hey, how about a thank you for
taking your kid from bland to blond, huh?
152
00:07:59,358 --> 00:08:00,597
Hmm, let's see...
153
00:08:00,597 --> 00:08:04,717
Squeaky, rude, drunk
You must be Karen
154
00:08:05,677 --> 00:08:09,968
Oh, sweet!
He faxed you my bio
155
00:08:10,984 --> 00:08:14,235
Listen, I don't mind Elliot
hanging around with you, Jack
156
00:08:14,235 --> 00:08:16,441
but when he comes home
with the gay haircut
157
00:08:16,441 --> 00:08:17,663
looking all downtown weird--
158
00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:20,213
A-pa-ka-buku-shiki!
159
00:08:21,216 --> 00:08:22,886
At least his hair
says something now
160
00:08:22,886 --> 00:08:25,451
It says "Pow! Bam!"
161
00:08:27,233 --> 00:08:28,272
Hey, hey, hey, come on
162
00:08:28,272 --> 00:08:31,412
Before the hairpins start flying
maybe I can help
163
00:08:31,412 --> 00:08:35,831
Now... Roger, is it?
164
00:08:37,958 --> 00:08:39,130
Bonnie
165
00:08:39,130 --> 00:08:41,286
Oh, pretty
166
00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:42,675
Listen, Bonnie
167
00:08:42,675 --> 00:08:44,433
I've got this maid Rosario
168
00:08:44,433 --> 00:08:45,464
been with me forever
169
00:08:45,464 --> 00:08:48,973
Now, I have had her stomach
stapled her teeth fixed
170
00:08:48,973 --> 00:08:51,440
her hair dyed, she's been de-moled
de-clawed, deloused--
171
00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:53,123
What's your point?
172
00:08:54,113 --> 00:08:55,889
Ohh, my point is...
173
00:08:55,889 --> 00:08:57,206
I think I may have
broken your spirit
174
00:08:57,206 --> 00:08:59,045
How would like to
come work for me, ok?
175
00:08:59,045 --> 00:09:00,096
Come on!
176
00:09:01,052 --> 00:09:02,640
You know, if there were
any justice in the world
177
00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:06,265
there'd be an alligator
somewhere carrying you as a hand bag
178
00:09:06,265 --> 00:09:07,388
I like that
179
00:09:08,016 --> 00:09:10,580
Look, Jack, bottom line, ok?
180
00:09:10,580 --> 00:09:13,008
I'm his mother
I make the rules
181
00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:16,514
Well, here's a bottom line
for your bottom line
182
00:09:16,514 --> 00:09:17,514
I'm his father
183
00:09:17,514 --> 00:09:20,009
and I get to make up
some of the rules, too
184
00:09:20,009 --> 00:09:21,962
This is a big news flash for you
185
00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:23,125
You're not his father
186
00:09:23,125 --> 00:09:25,171
I'm his father, and his mother
187
00:09:25,171 --> 00:09:29,131
and until he was eight years old
I was Santa freakin' Claus, all right?
188
00:09:29,131 --> 00:09:30,271
You got no rights, Jack
189
00:09:30,271 --> 00:09:33,180
You're just a test tube that
I picked up before they threw it away
190
00:09:33,180 --> 00:09:34,393
I'm sick of it
191
00:09:34,393 --> 00:09:37,281
I don't want you
seeing my son anymore
192
00:09:40,194 --> 00:09:41,334
You know
193
00:09:41,334 --> 00:09:43,489
maybe there is an alligator
running around somewhere
194
00:09:43,489 --> 00:09:45,776
with me as a handbag
195
00:09:48,614 --> 00:09:52,413
I mean, who knows what they do
with my old skin....
196
00:09:57,776 --> 00:10:01,482
Surprised to see you in a suit, Will
I thought you'd be wearing your tennis skirt
197
00:10:01,765 --> 00:10:03,269
No one thinks you're funny
198
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:06,005
Hey, you were funny last night
199
00:10:06,547 --> 00:10:08,084
Everybody's still
talking about it
200
00:10:08,084 --> 00:10:11,072
Oh, please
this weekend's not about me
201
00:10:11,072 --> 00:10:13,057
Everyone, you said?
202
00:10:14,685 --> 00:10:19,583
It's all working-- The hair
the clothes, the smile, the vibe...
203
00:10:19,583 --> 00:10:23,341
The row of poppy seeds in your teeth
from the bagel you had this morning
204
00:10:23,885 --> 00:10:26,942
What?
Aw, crap
205
00:10:28,965 --> 00:10:30,864
Excuse me
you're the tennis player, right?
206
00:10:30,864 --> 00:10:35,067
Oh, well, actually
I-- Yes, I am
207
00:10:40,277 --> 00:10:42,240
- Hey
- Hey
208
00:10:43,215 --> 00:10:44,464
What are you doing here?
209
00:10:44,464 --> 00:10:46,893
I'm just trying to get away
from Danny's mother
210
00:10:46,893 --> 00:10:48,284
Oh, yeah
211
00:10:48,284 --> 00:10:49,889
Or as I like to call her
212
00:10:49,889 --> 00:10:52,905
"What the hell are you doing
in my apartment?"
213
00:10:58,629 --> 00:11:02,364
You know, I probably--
I probably should've said this before
214
00:11:02,809 --> 00:11:09,090
Uh, but, um--
Um... I'm really glad I'm here
215
00:11:09,090 --> 00:11:10,490
You know, I didn't know
about it at first
216
00:11:10,490 --> 00:11:13,180
because, you know
my whole history with Danny
217
00:11:13,180 --> 00:11:16,805
but, um, you know
just seeing the two of you...
218
00:11:19,570 --> 00:11:22,557
Seeing how happy you are...
219
00:11:24,888 --> 00:11:27,246
It just...
It feels like...
220
00:11:27,246 --> 00:11:29,488
Do you need some floss
or something?
221
00:11:30,679 --> 00:11:34,883
No, no, I think I can--
Just give me one more
222
00:11:40,378 --> 00:11:42,458
I got it, got it!
223
00:11:43,612 --> 00:11:45,906
Well, I am really glad
that you came here, too
224
00:11:45,906 --> 00:11:46,958
Really?
Thank you
225
00:11:46,958 --> 00:11:48,613
Yeah, I mean, that speech
you gave last night?
226
00:11:48,613 --> 00:11:50,435
- It was good, right?
- Yeah
227
00:11:50,435 --> 00:11:52,743
I mean, I mean, I did
some stand-up in college
228
00:11:52,743 --> 00:11:54,304
so...
229
00:11:54,304 --> 00:11:56,307
what was your favorite part?
230
00:11:56,307 --> 00:11:57,314
All of it
231
00:11:57,314 --> 00:11:59,646
I mean you, you really
have Danny nailed
232
00:11:59,646 --> 00:12:01,760
You know, how he's immature
and how he's irresponsible
233
00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:03,376
and it's just really
got me thinking--
234
00:12:03,376 --> 00:12:04,843
Well, you know
a good comic will do that
235
00:12:04,843 --> 00:12:07,001
You now, just get to
the truth, you know
236
00:12:07,546 --> 00:12:08,826
Yeah, I'm calling off the wedding
237
00:12:08,826 --> 00:12:10,395
What?
238
00:12:13,639 --> 00:12:16,167
Ok, when did I eat pineapple?
239
00:12:24,638 --> 00:12:27,291
The toughest person
I ever played...
240
00:12:27,799 --> 00:12:29,683
Myself
241
00:12:30,020 --> 00:12:33,324
Yeah, when I'm on that court
the only person that can beat me...
242
00:12:35,106 --> 00:12:36,717
is me
243
00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:38,838
Did you ever play Steve Turner?
244
00:12:38,838 --> 00:12:39,382
Steve?
245
00:12:39,382 --> 00:12:41,366
I don't-- I don't know
if I played Steve
246
00:12:41,366 --> 00:12:42,330
Probably
247
00:12:42,330 --> 00:12:45,825
Well, maybe he'll remember
You know he's here, right?
248
00:12:46,508 --> 00:12:48,738
Come on, Sarah
open the door
249
00:12:48,738 --> 00:12:52,199
You want to marry Danny
You have to marry Danny
250
00:12:52,199 --> 00:12:54,935
Why?
You didn't?
251
00:12:55,808 --> 00:12:56,292
Hide me
252
00:12:56,292 --> 00:12:58,666
Everybody's about to find out
I'm not a professional tennis player
253
00:12:58,666 --> 00:12:59,417
Big deal
254
00:12:59,417 --> 00:13:02,788
Because of my speech
Sarah's decided not to marry Danny
255
00:13:02,788 --> 00:13:06,262
So what, your stand-up's now
so bad it's breaking up marriages?
256
00:13:08,526 --> 00:13:12,178
Why don't you keep
your opinion to yourself, Venus?
257
00:13:12,646 --> 00:13:14,536
Now get out of here
I gotta convince her to marry him
258
00:13:14,536 --> 00:13:15,328
Ok, is there a window in here?
259
00:13:15,328 --> 00:13:17,698
Does it smell like
there's a window in here?
260
00:13:20,017 --> 00:13:22,137
Oh, now, Grace--
261
00:13:22,682 --> 00:13:24,806
There you are
silly, he's here
262
00:13:24,806 --> 00:13:26,057
Steve!
263
00:13:26,057 --> 00:13:26,490
Yeah, you know what?
264
00:13:26,490 --> 00:13:28,844
You know when I said
I was a professional tennis player
265
00:13:28,844 --> 00:13:30,734
that was because...
266
00:13:30,734 --> 00:13:33,580
You know how you throw
the word "professional" around like
267
00:13:33,580 --> 00:13:37,126
like Heather Graham is a
"professional" actress?
268
00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:41,648
Steve, this is Will
He's a professional tennis player, too
269
00:13:41,648 --> 00:13:43,648
Well, I was--
270
00:13:43,648 --> 00:13:44,868
Sure
271
00:13:44,868 --> 00:13:46,130
Will
272
00:13:46,130 --> 00:13:48,351
From the Davis Cup
273
00:13:48,351 --> 00:13:52,399
Yeah!?Yeah, Steve, isn't it?
From the Davis Cup?
274
00:13:52,399 --> 00:13:52,997
Yeah
275
00:13:52,997 --> 00:13:54,714
Yeah, good to see you again
276
00:13:55,438 --> 00:13:56,802
Davis Cup
277
00:14:02,117 --> 00:14:04,471
When you coming home, son?
278
00:14:04,471 --> 00:14:06,596
I don't know when...
279
00:14:07,239 --> 00:14:10,157
but we won't get
together then, Dad
280
00:14:11,925 --> 00:14:14,855
You know we won't
have a good time then
281
00:14:18,211 --> 00:14:19,490
Hey, honey...
282
00:14:19,490 --> 00:14:22,371
I think I've got something
that'll make you feel better
283
00:14:22,371 --> 00:14:24,247
No, no, Karen
284
00:14:24,247 --> 00:14:28,329
No more sailors who think
they're coming over for their physical
285
00:14:31,435 --> 00:14:33,071
Oh, boy...
286
00:14:33,806 --> 00:14:36,540
Hey, how you doing?
I'll call you, or not
287
00:14:36,540 --> 00:14:38,454
Oh, my God, you're back!
288
00:14:38,454 --> 00:14:40,250
How did you get his mom
to agree to this?
289
00:14:40,250 --> 00:14:41,363
I didn't
290
00:14:41,363 --> 00:14:43,287
I've been kidnapped
291
00:14:43,287 --> 00:14:44,618
Whoops!
292
00:14:46,792 --> 00:14:48,831
Come on, Sarah
293
00:14:48,831 --> 00:14:52,550
you're about to make
the most amazing commitment
294
00:14:52,550 --> 00:14:54,135
The only thing
I've committed to lately
295
00:14:54,135 --> 00:14:56,227
is buying seven more CDs
over the next 12 months
296
00:14:56,227 --> 00:14:58,962
and even that's giving
me a stomachache
297
00:15:00,571 --> 00:15:03,071
Yeah, but all that stuff
you said about Danny is true
298
00:15:03,071 --> 00:15:05,360
He's childish
he's immature, he's--
299
00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:08,278
I know, but he's
a lot of other things, too
300
00:15:08,278 --> 00:15:12,512
He's a good guy
He's a really good guy
301
00:15:13,337 --> 00:15:16,521
Yes, he may not go
too deep into things...
302
00:15:17,085 --> 00:15:20,568
But maybe that's ok
because he let's me be the crazy one
303
00:15:20,568 --> 00:15:22,336
We can be in this huge crowd
304
00:15:22,336 --> 00:15:25,542
and he makes me feel like
I am the only one there
305
00:15:26,639 --> 00:15:30,744
And there was this one time
where I cut my hair really short
306
00:15:30,744 --> 00:15:34,532
I looked like the guy in Simply Red
307
00:15:37,001 --> 00:15:40,329
And I felt...so bad
308
00:15:40,329 --> 00:15:43,230
And he came home
and he said
309
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:48,909
"I don't care
You look beautiful, no matter what."
310
00:15:50,646 --> 00:15:53,054
That was so sweet
311
00:15:59,156 --> 00:16:01,794
Daytime TV sucks
312
00:16:08,956 --> 00:16:10,965
Uh, what's going on?
313
00:16:10,965 --> 00:16:13,209
Why aren't you at school
why you with him
314
00:16:13,209 --> 00:16:16,346
and why haven't you
turned into a bat?
315
00:16:16,889 --> 00:16:18,190
I had nothing to do with this
316
00:16:18,190 --> 00:16:20,843
Elliot, Karen, I believe you have
something you want to say to Bonnie
317
00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:24,284
Um, I got out of school early
and went over to Jack's
318
00:16:24,284 --> 00:16:26,478
Elliot, how?
319
00:16:27,001 --> 00:16:29,157
I signed him out
320
00:16:29,561 --> 00:16:31,641
I'm sorry, young lady
you're gonna have to speak up
321
00:16:31,641 --> 00:16:33,611
I signed him out!
322
00:16:33,611 --> 00:16:34,899
You kidnapped my kid?
323
00:16:34,899 --> 00:16:36,462
It was his idea!
324
00:16:36,462 --> 00:16:37,358
You drove!
325
00:16:37,358 --> 00:16:39,288
Yeah, well, you're the one
who wanted to see Jack!
326
00:16:39,288 --> 00:16:40,926
Well, you're the one
who bribed the attendance lady!
327
00:16:40,926 --> 00:16:42,554
- Nya-nya-nya!
- Nya-nya-nya!
328
00:16:42,554 --> 00:16:44,795
All right, stop it
stop it, both of you!
329
00:16:44,795 --> 00:16:45,555
Karen, so help me God
330
00:16:45,555 --> 00:16:48,706
I am two seconds away from
not giving you a spanking
331
00:16:48,706 --> 00:16:51,679
Elliot, what were you thinking?
332
00:16:51,679 --> 00:16:54,495
I wanted to see him
I missed him, mom
333
00:16:54,863 --> 00:16:56,191
Go to your room
334
00:16:56,191 --> 00:16:58,469
Not you, him!
Go
335
00:16:59,175 --> 00:17:01,997
Good, that kid is trouble
336
00:17:02,334 --> 00:17:04,450
And you, go to your limo
and think about what you've done
337
00:17:04,450 --> 00:17:05,463
- But--
- Limo!
338
00:17:05,463 --> 00:17:06,870
Ohh!
339
00:17:08,302 --> 00:17:11,193
Now, Jack, don't you remember
a conversation we had
340
00:17:11,193 --> 00:17:13,077
where I said
I didn't want you to see my kid
341
00:17:13,077 --> 00:17:16,783
or was the soundtrack of
Evita blaring too loud in your head?
342
00:17:17,351 --> 00:17:19,450
Hey, I wasn't part of
any of this, ok?
343
00:17:19,450 --> 00:17:23,074
They came to me, and the first thing
I did was bring Elliot back here
344
00:17:23,074 --> 00:17:25,744
Are you wearing blush?
345
00:17:26,595 --> 00:17:29,403
Ok, the second thing I did...
346
00:17:31,283 --> 00:17:33,631
- was bring Elliot back here
- Good
347
00:17:33,631 --> 00:17:35,124
The point is
he's here
348
00:17:35,124 --> 00:17:36,636
and you'll never
have to see me again
349
00:17:36,636 --> 00:17:39,325
so I'm just gonna take my gay self
back to my gay apartment
350
00:17:39,325 --> 00:17:42,502
live my gay life
and have a gay old time
351
00:17:42,502 --> 00:17:44,597
What are you doing
what is that?
352
00:17:45,117 --> 00:17:47,065
Oh, come on
353
00:17:47,065 --> 00:17:48,437
The whole thing
about the gay haircut
354
00:17:48,437 --> 00:17:49,880
I know what's going on here
355
00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:51,600
The reason you reacted
so strongly about the hair is
356
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:54,001
because you have
a problem with gay people
357
00:17:54,001 --> 00:17:55,060
- No, I don't
- Yes, you do
358
00:17:55,060 --> 00:17:56,269
- No, I don't
- Yes, you do!
359
00:17:56,269 --> 00:17:57,497
- I'm gay, Jack
- No, you're not!
360
00:17:57,497 --> 00:17:58,420
- Yes, I am
- No, you're not!
361
00:17:58,420 --> 00:18:00,777
Yes, I am
I'm gay
362
00:18:00,777 --> 00:18:02,165
Prove it!
363
00:18:02,165 --> 00:18:04,599
Say something lesbianic
364
00:18:06,010 --> 00:18:08,498
Home Depot
(Ȩ ���� : �̱��� ������ �������� ����ȸ��)
365
00:18:15,549 --> 00:18:17,166
k.d. lang, you are a lesbian!
366
00:18:17,166 --> 00:18:18,511
Ka-pow
367
00:18:20,761 --> 00:18:22,372
Why didn't Elliot tell me?
368
00:18:22,372 --> 00:18:24,021
Because Elliot doesn't know
369
00:18:24,599 --> 00:18:26,839
- You never told him?
- No, I never did...
370
00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:30,580
And I think maybe that's
why I overreacted about the hair
371
00:18:30,580 --> 00:18:32,374
I spent the last 12 years of my life
372
00:18:32,374 --> 00:18:34,734
trying to figure out
how to tell my son I'm gay
373
00:18:34,734 --> 00:18:37,236
and you walk in
and do it with a handshake
374
00:18:37,909 --> 00:18:40,962
I really want to be
a part of his life, Bonnie
375
00:18:41,916 --> 00:18:43,722
And you should be, Jack
376
00:18:44,179 --> 00:18:45,477
But you gotta remember
somethin', all right?
377
00:18:45,477 --> 00:18:48,871
I'm in charge of his hair
I'm in charge of no leather pants
378
00:18:48,871 --> 00:18:50,795
I'm in charge of
telling him I'm gay
379
00:18:50,795 --> 00:18:52,939
my way, my time
380
00:18:54,435 --> 00:18:56,427
- Agreed
- Good
381
00:18:57,764 --> 00:18:58,546
Wow
382
00:18:59,357 --> 00:19:02,135
Elliot has two gay parents
383
00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:06,437
That's like...
every kid's dream
384
00:19:09,695 --> 00:19:11,499
Let's hope so
385
00:19:11,499 --> 00:19:13,340
You know...
386
00:19:13,340 --> 00:19:15,967
I can see why he likes you
387
00:19:26,448 --> 00:19:27,574
Listen, um...
388
00:19:28,401 --> 00:19:29,724
Thanks for covering for me
389
00:19:29,724 --> 00:19:31,050
No problem
390
00:19:31,050 --> 00:19:32,260
So tell me, what's it--
391
00:19:32,260 --> 00:19:34,660
what's it really like to be
a professional tennis player?
392
00:19:34,660 --> 00:19:37,470
How would I know?
I work for the IRS
393
00:19:38,854 --> 00:19:40,647
You ever tried saying
that at a party?
394
00:19:40,647 --> 00:19:43,292
It's like saying
"hi, I just killed my family."
395
00:19:46,222 --> 00:19:48,557
And there was one time...
396
00:19:49,118 --> 00:19:51,940
When I couldn't
get my car started...
397
00:19:51,940 --> 00:19:55,573
And he called AAA
and they started it
398
00:19:55,912 --> 00:19:58,138
I miss Danny!
399
00:19:58,138 --> 00:20:01,265
I loved him so much!
400
00:20:02,883 --> 00:20:05,377
Poor Grace, shh!
401
00:20:05,774 --> 00:20:08,072
Oh, don't worry
you'll be ok
402
00:20:08,072 --> 00:20:09,638
You'll find someone
403
00:20:09,638 --> 00:20:12,193
Not like Danny!
404
00:20:13,719 --> 00:20:15,491
Hey, hey, what's
the hold up in here?
405
00:20:15,491 --> 00:20:17,983
Too many nachos last night?
406
00:20:18,984 --> 00:20:20,481
Get out of here!
407
00:20:20,481 --> 00:20:23,944
You're not supposed to see
the bride before the wedding!
408
00:20:26,302 --> 00:20:27,490
Wedding?
409
00:20:27,927 --> 00:20:29,207
Yeah
410
00:20:29,207 --> 00:20:31,545
I'm getting married today
411
00:20:32,376 --> 00:20:34,350
Thanks, Grace
412
00:21:06,074 --> 00:21:08,017
...in holy matrimony...
413
00:21:08,017 --> 00:21:09,622
Look how in love they are
414
00:21:09,622 --> 00:21:12,780
He could be looking into
my eyes right now
415
00:21:13,288 --> 00:21:15,600
That could be me up there
416
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:17,734
You may kiss the bride
417
00:21:26,289 --> 00:21:27,700
Oh, my God, let's get
the hell outta here
418
00:21:27,700 --> 00:21:30,011
That could be me up there
30693
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