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1
00:00:04,458 --> 00:00:06,262
I know prison's supposed
to be a deterrent
2
00:00:06,262 --> 00:00:09,053
but does it have to
be such a downer?
3
00:00:09,053 --> 00:00:12,422
- It's so gross and scary
- Oh, that reminds me
4
00:00:12,422 --> 00:00:15,296
Those Whitney Houston tickets
go on sale tomorrow morning
5
00:00:16,115 --> 00:00:17,280
Hi
Sorry I'm late
6
00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:21,191
My underwire kept setting off
the metal detector
7
00:00:24,381 --> 00:00:25,724
Where's Karen?
8
00:00:25,724 --> 00:00:27,275
Oh, she couldn't make it
9
00:00:27,275 --> 00:00:30,904
She said, um, she had, uh
how did she put it?
10
00:00:30,904 --> 00:00:33,208
Something better to do
11
00:00:33,919 --> 00:00:35,039
I can't believe it
12
00:00:35,039 --> 00:00:37,901
We're here to visit her husband
and she can't show up?
13
00:00:37,901 --> 00:00:40,232
I've got better things to do, too!
14
00:00:40,232 --> 00:00:42,117
Like what?
What do you have to do?
15
00:00:42,117 --> 00:00:46,606
I--I was gonna experiment with--
with... parting my hair differently
16
00:00:47,198 --> 00:00:50,767
Well, might as well play with it
while you got it, heh
17
00:00:51,507 --> 00:00:54,852
Grace?
Grace Adler?
18
00:00:54,852 --> 00:01:01,095
Oh, my God! Glenn!
Hi! What are you doing here?
19
00:01:01,095 --> 00:01:02,826
Oh, I'm just visitin' with
a friend of mine
20
00:01:02,826 --> 00:01:04,730
who's been havin' a hard time
21
00:01:04,730 --> 00:01:07,443
Hey-- Hey, guys
this is-- This is Glenn Gabriel
22
00:01:07,443 --> 00:01:10,932
- We went to high school together
- Well, no. You went to high school
23
00:01:10,932 --> 00:01:13,635
I experimented with
my father's antidepressants
24
00:01:13,635 --> 00:01:15,584
and played in a band
25
00:01:15,584 --> 00:01:17,754
That's right
You guys were terrific
26
00:01:17,754 --> 00:01:18,943
What were you called again?
27
00:01:18,943 --> 00:01:22,129
- Suspicious Mole
- Suspicious Mole. That's right
28
00:01:22,129 --> 00:01:24,386
Your concerts were hairy
29
00:01:26,618 --> 00:01:28,405
Mr. Walker will see you now
30
00:01:28,405 --> 00:01:33,700
Hey
Who else you got?
31
00:01:34,310 --> 00:01:36,980
Robert Downey in there?
32
00:01:37,644 --> 00:01:39,375
Jack, this isn't like the pound
33
00:01:39,375 --> 00:01:43,102
where you can take home
the one that wags his tail at you...
34
00:01:44,231 --> 00:01:46,642
Or some gay bar where you can...
35
00:01:46,642 --> 00:01:49,759
take home the one
that wags his tail at you
36
00:01:51,705 --> 00:01:55,083
Um... You guys--
You guys go ahead
37
00:01:55,688 --> 00:01:57,767
I had such a crush on
this guy in high school
38
00:01:57,767 --> 00:02:00,882
Blot
Not on-- Ugh
39
00:02:01,365 --> 00:02:04,212
So, what have--
What have you been up to?
40
00:02:04,212 --> 00:02:06,021
Kids?
married?
41
00:02:06,021 --> 00:02:07,747
Do you ever see anyone
from high school?
42
00:02:07,747 --> 00:02:09,388
Married?
43
00:02:09,388 --> 00:02:11,366
No, I'm still single
44
00:02:11,366 --> 00:02:15,480
You look...
Jeez, you look great
45
00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:17,935
No wonder you never went out
with me in high school
46
00:02:17,935 --> 00:02:18,873
What?
No
47
00:02:18,873 --> 00:02:22,228
I-I-I think it was you
who never went out with me
48
00:02:22,228 --> 00:02:25,546
I-- I totally had a crush on you
49
00:02:25,546 --> 00:02:28,648
I had--I had a crush on you
50
00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:29,913
Oh, yeah
51
00:02:29,913 --> 00:02:33,916
Yeah, when we sang
that Toto song "Rosanna"...
52
00:02:34,427 --> 00:02:37,152
I was really singin' about you
53
00:02:37,152 --> 00:02:42,943
"Meet you all the way
Grace Adler, yeah."
54
00:02:42,943 --> 00:02:44,324
Totally
55
00:02:44,324 --> 00:02:47,550
Really?
Wow
56
00:02:47,550 --> 00:02:50,246
You know what?
Let's have coffee sometime
57
00:02:50,246 --> 00:02:51,628
When are you free?
58
00:02:51,628 --> 00:02:54,443
Ok, this room is now closed
Inmates follow me
59
00:02:54,443 --> 00:02:57,182
Uh, in about five to ten
60
00:02:58,473 --> 00:03:00,567
I'll call ya
61
00:03:24,287 --> 00:03:28,050
Meet you all the way
62
00:03:28,556 --> 00:03:32,507
Grace Adler, yeah
63
00:03:38,242 --> 00:03:40,105
Well, I had an awful day
64
00:03:40,105 --> 00:03:44,159
I told you those briefs look good
but they bunch up
65
00:03:46,064 --> 00:03:49,618
It's not that
Well, it's not just that
66
00:03:50,079 --> 00:03:52,978
I've represented Pace Construction
for eight years
67
00:03:52,978 --> 00:03:53,729
Now they're getting sued
68
00:03:53,729 --> 00:03:55,924
It's going to trial
and Doucette takes it away from me
69
00:03:55,924 --> 00:03:58,500
'cause I'm "not a litigator."
70
00:03:58,500 --> 00:04:00,146
Where does he get off?
71
00:04:00,146 --> 00:04:02,069
Just 'cause I don't do it that much
doesn't mean I can't litigate
72
00:04:02,069 --> 00:04:04,854
I can litigate my ass off
73
00:04:12,039 --> 00:04:15,209
How do they do that in movies?
74
00:04:16,309 --> 00:04:17,739
Where are you going?
You got a date?
75
00:04:17,739 --> 00:04:18,831
Kinda
76
00:04:18,831 --> 00:04:20,604
When is he gonna pick you up?
77
00:04:20,604 --> 00:04:23,593
In about five to ten years
78
00:04:24,688 --> 00:04:26,442
Oh, Grace
79
00:04:26,442 --> 00:04:29,972
You're dating a convict?
Does it come to this?
80
00:04:29,972 --> 00:04:31,048
He's not a convict
81
00:04:31,048 --> 00:04:34,759
He is just some guy who did
some white collar real estate thing
82
00:04:34,759 --> 00:04:38,909
and needs to be behind bars
for a little while until he learns his lesson
83
00:04:39,782 --> 00:04:41,398
Hey, he wouldn't happen to
have a brother who's not gay
84
00:04:41,398 --> 00:04:44,082
but likes to have sex
with men, does he?
85
00:04:47,006 --> 00:04:48,666
Come on
86
00:04:48,666 --> 00:04:52,359
In high school
he was so weird and cool
87
00:04:52,359 --> 00:04:55,392
He was in a Jewish gang
88
00:04:59,101 --> 00:05:03,108
What is that, exactly?
They drive by and slash your credit rating?
89
00:05:06,077 --> 00:05:10,262
Was he a-- Was he a blood-berg
or a crip-stein?
90
00:05:12,964 --> 00:05:15,974
I'm telling you, Will
there was something about him
91
00:05:15,974 --> 00:05:19,749
He wore a cape and drove a Vespa
92
00:05:20,649 --> 00:05:23,125
And he always had the prettiest girl
riding on the back
93
00:05:23,125 --> 00:05:25,103
I so wanted to be that girl
94
00:05:25,103 --> 00:05:27,423
But, Grace
dating a prisoner? My God
95
00:05:27,423 --> 00:05:29,890
You're like one of those women
in a polka-dot dress
96
00:05:29,890 --> 00:05:33,409
and a floppy hat that bakes
brownies for serial killers
97
00:05:33,409 --> 00:05:34,362
I like him
98
00:05:34,362 --> 00:05:38,889
He's nice, and there is nothing
weird about what I'm doing
99
00:05:48,748 --> 00:05:52,854
Here she is
Where the hell have you been?
100
00:05:53,508 --> 00:05:57,576
We've been upstairs for half an hour
waitin' for you to turn on the TV
101
00:05:58,465 --> 00:05:59,538
Yeah, Rosario
102
00:05:59,538 --> 00:06:02,090
Thanks to you
we missed our show
103
00:06:02,090 --> 00:06:07,105
What if Martha Stewart
was nice today?
104
00:06:07,105 --> 00:06:10,577
You two are like "dumb and drunker."
105
00:06:12,750 --> 00:06:14,839
Don't you love our Ro-Ro?
Let's tickle her!
106
00:06:14,839 --> 00:06:15,905
Dog-pile on, Rosie!
107
00:06:15,905 --> 00:06:17,355
No, no, no
don't tickle me
108
00:06:17,355 --> 00:06:20,412
No, please, I have to finish
this sweater for Mr. Stan
109
00:06:20,412 --> 00:06:23,297
so you can take it to him
tomorrow when you visit him
110
00:06:23,297 --> 00:06:25,036
I'm not goin' tomorrow
111
00:06:25,036 --> 00:06:27,386
But he's expecting you at 10:00
112
00:06:27,386 --> 00:06:29,310
Yeah, well, I've got other plans
113
00:06:29,310 --> 00:06:34,298
I'll be in the observatory watching
Woody Allen get it on with his daughter-wife
114
00:06:35,076 --> 00:06:37,433
How can you be so heartless?
115
00:06:37,433 --> 00:06:39,524
Mr. Stan, he suffers in prison
116
00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:42,294
You haven't been to
visit him in weeks
117
00:06:42,294 --> 00:06:43,045
Oh, please
118
00:06:43,045 --> 00:06:45,819
The only one who suffers
is the guy in the bunk underneath
119
00:06:45,819 --> 00:06:48,840
his waking up every morning
with a mouthful of mattress...
120
00:06:48,840 --> 00:06:50,735
'Cause he's so fat
121
00:06:53,126 --> 00:06:54,954
If I've learned anything
122
00:06:54,954 --> 00:06:58,761
from the Dalai Lama
by way of Richard Gere...
123
00:06:59,174 --> 00:07:02,145
It's that suffering is
a state of mind...
124
00:07:02,145 --> 00:07:06,957
quite like heterosexuality
or the Midwest
125
00:07:08,726 --> 00:07:12,182
You schmucks couldn't
last three nights in prison
126
00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:14,969
Take away your freedom
hell, take away your panty-hose
127
00:07:14,969 --> 00:07:16,191
you'd be crying like a baby
128
00:07:16,191 --> 00:07:17,451
Hey, that happened once
129
00:07:17,451 --> 00:07:20,858
and how dare you reveal secrets
from our marriage bed?
130
00:07:23,705 --> 00:07:26,843
In fact, you wouldn't
last three nights in this room
131
00:07:26,843 --> 00:07:28,919
Well, neither could you
132
00:07:28,919 --> 00:07:31,521
Lady, I live in this room
133
00:07:32,406 --> 00:07:32,988
Oh
134
00:07:32,988 --> 00:07:36,484
Well, all I'm saying is I can do it
135
00:07:36,484 --> 00:07:37,871
Easy
136
00:07:37,871 --> 00:07:41,134
Really?
Care to make it interesting?
137
00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:44,255
What are you suggesting?
138
00:07:44,935 --> 00:07:48,298
Are you asking me
to take my top off?
139
00:07:49,575 --> 00:07:53,011
Slow down, Gypsy Rose Lush
140
00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:58,939
What I'm talking is
three nights in this room
141
00:07:58,939 --> 00:08:00,452
and if either one of you leave
142
00:08:00,452 --> 00:08:01,830
before your time is up
143
00:08:01,830 --> 00:08:05,059
you have to visit Mr. Stan
every day for a month
144
00:08:05,059 --> 00:08:06,906
All right
145
00:08:06,906 --> 00:08:08,779
but if we win
146
00:08:08,779 --> 00:08:11,674
you have to give me a weekend at
the country house and let me hunt you
147
00:08:11,674 --> 00:08:14,427
We lost our fox
148
00:08:17,895 --> 00:08:20,780
- Deal
- Hmm
149
00:08:20,780 --> 00:08:24,204
Wait a minute, wait a minute
wait a minute, wait a minute...
150
00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:27,095
Wait a minute
Wait a minute
151
00:08:27,095 --> 00:08:29,881
How did I become a part of this?
152
00:08:30,107 --> 00:08:31,785
What's in it for me?
153
00:08:31,785 --> 00:08:35,507
Well, as my cell mate
you'd be my bitch
154
00:08:35,507 --> 00:08:39,278
You'd be subject to being molested
at any time, day or night
155
00:08:42,646 --> 00:08:44,941
Whee!
Let's start now!
156
00:08:46,402 --> 00:08:49,372
Ok, you guys
Three days, starting now
157
00:08:49,372 --> 00:08:51,956
Good luck, meat
158
00:08:55,861 --> 00:08:58,651
This morning
I was lookin' out my window
159
00:08:58,651 --> 00:09:02,390
and a single bird
just flew across the sky
160
00:09:02,798 --> 00:09:05,201
I just started cryin'
161
00:09:07,943 --> 00:09:09,676
You know, the same thing
happened to me this morning
162
00:09:09,676 --> 00:09:12,656
when I saw a single gray hair
163
00:09:15,381 --> 00:09:17,751
- Rugulah?
- Thanks
164
00:09:18,632 --> 00:09:20,728
It was so sweet of you
to make these for me
165
00:09:20,728 --> 00:09:23,353
I had to call
my mother for the recipe
166
00:09:23,353 --> 00:09:26,642
and tell her they were for
a prisoner I've been seeing
167
00:09:27,237 --> 00:09:30,208
I think she was
more surprised I was baking
168
00:09:31,376 --> 00:09:32,845
And-- And you're funny
169
00:09:32,845 --> 00:09:35,674
I mean, you're funny
and you're beautiful
170
00:09:35,674 --> 00:09:39,223
I just can't believe some guy
hasn't snapped you up
171
00:09:39,594 --> 00:09:41,371
What, are they all idiots?
172
00:09:41,371 --> 00:09:44,993
You know what, Glenn?
A lot of them are
173
00:09:57,752 --> 00:09:59,061
Sorry, little fella
174
00:09:59,061 --> 00:10:01,522
There's another spider
in there to keep you company
175
00:10:03,258 --> 00:10:05,019
Hey, how was your visit
with the felon?
176
00:10:05,019 --> 00:10:08,539
Did you give his shawshank
a redemption?
177
00:10:11,325 --> 00:10:12,886
Did you rock his jailhouse?
178
00:10:12,886 --> 00:10:15,699
Did you give him
the cool hand luke?
179
00:10:16,328 --> 00:10:18,995
You know, these are all good
You pick your favorite
180
00:10:20,495 --> 00:10:26,590
You can make fun all you want
but Glenn is a really great guy
181
00:10:26,590 --> 00:10:29,966
He's interesting
He writes poetry
182
00:10:29,966 --> 00:10:31,291
and he has an appeal coming up
183
00:10:31,291 --> 00:10:34,868
and he's, uh, studying law
so that he can represent himself
184
00:10:34,868 --> 00:10:36,290
Well, that's crazy
185
00:10:36,290 --> 00:10:39,165
He can't represent himself
He's gotta have a real lawyer
186
00:10:39,165 --> 00:10:40,715
Oh, good, so you'll do it?
He's expecting your call
187
00:10:40,715 --> 00:10:44,340
Wait! Wait! Whoa--
whoa--Whoa--whoa! Whoa!
188
00:10:44,340 --> 00:10:45,389
What?!
189
00:10:45,389 --> 00:10:46,282
I'm doing you a favor
190
00:10:46,282 --> 00:10:48,651
You were just complaining about
how you never get to go into court
191
00:10:48,651 --> 00:10:49,646
Now here's your chance
192
00:10:49,646 --> 00:10:51,318
Well, I just said that
'cause I was mad
193
00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:53,498
They might be right
I might not be any good
194
00:10:53,498 --> 00:10:55,926
What?
Remember moot court in law school?
195
00:10:55,926 --> 00:10:58,007
You were amazing
196
00:10:58,007 --> 00:11:01,197
You gave that stirring argument
about freedom of speech
197
00:11:01,197 --> 00:11:05,551
while in the background you played
George Michael's song "Freedom?"
198
00:11:07,822 --> 00:11:10,210
Huh?
Wasn't that great?
199
00:11:10,775 --> 00:11:12,941
- I was pretty good
- Huh?
200
00:11:13,543 --> 00:11:15,749
And it would be cool
to get back into a courtroom
201
00:11:15,749 --> 00:11:17,325
You know, I get-- I get a pair of
those half-glasses
202
00:11:17,325 --> 00:11:19,495
like Paul Newman in the verdict...
203
00:11:19,495 --> 00:11:24,448
You know, and part my hair
on the-- on the dangerous side
204
00:11:24,657 --> 00:11:25,769
There you go
205
00:11:25,769 --> 00:11:27,521
You know what?
You're right
206
00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:28,777
Will Truman can litigate
207
00:11:28,777 --> 00:11:30,383
Don't tell Will Truman
he can't litigate
208
00:11:30,383 --> 00:11:31,180
'cause you know
what happens?
209
00:11:31,180 --> 00:11:34,582
Will Truman turns around
and litigates, sucka!
210
00:11:38,734 --> 00:11:41,820
Oh, Kar...
I heart prison
211
00:11:41,820 --> 00:11:43,796
Oh, me, too
212
00:11:43,796 --> 00:11:46,028
Honey, I don't know
what Stan's been complaining about
213
00:11:46,028 --> 00:11:48,810
I mean, what's so great
about the outside world anyway?
214
00:11:48,810 --> 00:11:50,846
Just a bunch of people
with their dumb dreams
215
00:11:50,846 --> 00:11:52,194
and even dumber kids
216
00:11:52,194 --> 00:11:53,579
Yeah, I know
217
00:11:56,011 --> 00:11:58,886
Ok, meat, time for lockdown
218
00:11:58,886 --> 00:11:59,814
Count off
219
00:11:59,814 --> 00:12:00,733
- One!
- Two!
220
00:12:00,733 --> 00:12:02,193
Good night
221
00:12:02,193 --> 00:12:05,322
Oh, wait, wait, Rosario
I need my nightcap
222
00:12:05,322 --> 00:12:06,206
Your what?
223
00:12:06,206 --> 00:12:06,764
My nightcap!
224
00:12:06,764 --> 00:12:10,541
Gin on the rocks
and I want the rocks made out of pills
225
00:12:11,989 --> 00:12:14,697
And while you're out there
could you crank up the bubbles in the tub?
226
00:12:14,697 --> 00:12:16,481
I want a jacuzzi
with a happy ending
227
00:12:16,481 --> 00:12:17,677
Mmm
228
00:12:19,189 --> 00:12:20,988
Are you kidding me with this?
229
00:12:20,988 --> 00:12:23,929
Do you think Mr. Stan gets
his evening hoagie
230
00:12:23,929 --> 00:12:26,538
before he goes to bed?
231
00:12:26,538 --> 00:12:28,928
Forget it
232
00:12:32,131 --> 00:12:33,911
No nightcap?
233
00:12:33,911 --> 00:12:36,347
No happy ending?
234
00:12:36,841 --> 00:12:38,622
This is worse than prison
235
00:12:38,622 --> 00:12:40,800
This is high school
236
00:12:44,215 --> 00:12:45,712
They're just cookies
237
00:12:45,712 --> 00:12:47,886
I made them for Glenn
Glenn Gabriel
238
00:12:47,886 --> 00:12:51,945
We're--we're kinda going out
239
00:12:53,363 --> 00:12:57,144
Well, actually, I go out
He mostly stays in
240
00:12:57,722 --> 00:12:59,293
First time I heard that one
241
00:12:59,293 --> 00:13:01,923
- Really?
- No
242
00:13:05,123 --> 00:13:07,478
I'm so glad you like the bundt cake
243
00:13:09,129 --> 00:13:12,301
Sheila, you're--
you're so good to me
244
00:13:12,301 --> 00:13:14,450
You know, I'm in
the prison rock band
245
00:13:14,450 --> 00:13:17,442
and whenever we do
the Toto song "Rosanna,"
246
00:13:17,442 --> 00:13:19,902
I'm really singin' about you
247
00:13:19,902 --> 00:13:26,990
"Meet you all the way
Sheila Slovinski, yeah."
248
00:13:35,965 --> 00:13:38,991
- No, I can't take it when you do that!
- You're the one who made a mess of it!
249
00:13:38,991 --> 00:13:40,483
Well, I'm just trying to
get through this!
250
00:13:40,483 --> 00:13:42,968
What are you talking about?
You've all but given up!
251
00:13:42,968 --> 00:13:44,195
We need to work together here!
252
00:13:44,195 --> 00:13:50,366
Oh! Shh! Fine!
Let's just try it again!
253
00:13:51,517 --> 00:13:52,996
Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum
254
00:13:52,996 --> 00:13:56,802
Mr. Sandman bring me a dream--
Bum-bum-bum-bum
255
00:13:56,802 --> 00:13:59,533
Make him the cutest boy
that I've ever seen--
256
00:13:59,533 --> 00:14:00,028
Bum-bum-bum-bum
257
00:14:00,028 --> 00:14:03,515
Give him a lonely heart
like Pagliacci
258
00:14:03,515 --> 00:14:06,663
and lots of wavy hair like Liberace
259
00:14:06,663 --> 00:14:09,605
Mr. Sandman bring me a dream--
260
00:14:09,605 --> 00:14:10,363
Karen!
261
00:14:10,363 --> 00:14:15,809
Make him the cutest boy that I've ever seen
Please turn on your magic beam--
262
00:14:15,809 --> 00:14:17,615
Karen!
Cut it out!
263
00:14:17,615 --> 00:14:19,329
This is a duet
We are a team
264
00:14:19,329 --> 00:14:22,459
There is no "I" in singing
265
00:14:24,048 --> 00:14:25,725
Oh, yeah?
266
00:14:25,725 --> 00:14:28,147
Say that again
and I'll get a bar of soap
267
00:14:28,147 --> 00:14:31,556
carve it into a drink
and throw it in your face
268
00:14:31,556 --> 00:14:32,578
I can't take it anymore
269
00:14:32,578 --> 00:14:33,654
- I am out of here!
- What?
270
00:14:33,654 --> 00:14:35,536
Sure... It was fun
this morning in the shower
271
00:14:35,536 --> 00:14:39,429
when you punched me in the windpipe
and took my candy cigarettes...
272
00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:41,756
But now I want out
273
00:14:41,756 --> 00:14:42,570
No!
274
00:14:42,570 --> 00:14:44,121
You open that door
and we lose this bet
275
00:14:44,121 --> 00:14:45,424
and I am not gonna lose!
276
00:14:45,424 --> 00:14:47,522
Why?
What are you so afraid of?
277
00:14:47,522 --> 00:14:50,532
So you have to go see Stan
What's the big deal?
278
00:14:50,532 --> 00:14:52,498
I don't like to go see him
279
00:14:52,498 --> 00:14:53,638
All right, fine
From the top
280
00:14:53,638 --> 00:14:55,754
Bum-bum-bum-bum bum-bum-bum-bum
281
00:14:55,754 --> 00:14:56,950
Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum
282
00:14:56,950 --> 00:15:00,549
Mr. Sandman bring me a dream--
Bum, bum, bum, bum
283
00:15:05,809 --> 00:15:09,220
- I hate men
- Good, more for me
284
00:15:10,728 --> 00:15:12,449
You know, I'm goin' through
some of Glenn's files
285
00:15:12,449 --> 00:15:14,499
His-- His last lawyer
really messed up
286
00:15:14,499 --> 00:15:16,719
Some of the state's evidence
was obtained improperly
287
00:15:16,719 --> 00:15:17,977
It should never
have been admitted
288
00:15:17,977 --> 00:15:19,646
Without that, they have no case
289
00:15:20,528 --> 00:15:21,614
What's up?
290
00:15:21,614 --> 00:15:23,463
Glenn and I are through
291
00:15:23,463 --> 00:15:25,573
Oh, Grace
292
00:15:25,573 --> 00:15:28,661
You were dumped by a prisoner
293
00:15:30,202 --> 00:15:34,272
I was not dumped
It turns out he was two-timing me
294
00:15:34,272 --> 00:15:36,337
- That's awful
- Thank you
295
00:15:36,337 --> 00:15:38,187
How could someone
in prison get two dates?
296
00:15:38,187 --> 00:15:40,406
I can't even get one
297
00:15:41,958 --> 00:15:43,967
Oh, this is all so embarrassing
298
00:15:43,967 --> 00:15:48,406
He seemed so honest and
straightforward in the holding room
299
00:15:48,949 --> 00:15:51,545
Well... Hopefully
the next guy you meet
300
00:15:51,545 --> 00:15:52,961
will work a regular nine to five
301
00:15:52,961 --> 00:15:55,549
instead of serving five to ten
302
00:15:56,116 --> 00:15:56,755
Funny
303
00:15:56,755 --> 00:16:00,547
Maybe he'll have gone to Penn State
instead of the state pen
304
00:16:01,607 --> 00:16:02,659
One more
305
00:16:03,297 --> 00:16:07,056
Maybe you two will live in a big house
instead of the big house
306
00:16:07,815 --> 00:16:09,783
- And you're done
- Ok, I--I warn you
307
00:16:09,783 --> 00:16:10,578
I may have one more in the morning
308
00:16:10,578 --> 00:16:12,649
Something about "behind bars"
and "in bars."
309
00:16:12,649 --> 00:16:14,642
I'm still workin' on it
310
00:16:15,055 --> 00:16:17,260
I'm sorry you're not gonna
be able to try your case
311
00:16:17,260 --> 00:16:18,781
but don't worry
312
00:16:18,781 --> 00:16:20,112
You'll get another chance
313
00:16:20,112 --> 00:16:21,986
I'm still trying the case
314
00:16:22,349 --> 00:16:23,114
What?
315
00:16:23,114 --> 00:16:25,645
I'm his lawyer, Grace
I made a commitment
316
00:16:25,645 --> 00:16:28,220
But he was mean to me
317
00:16:30,119 --> 00:16:34,404
Grace, if-if everyone
who was mean to you was put in jail
318
00:16:34,404 --> 00:16:37,249
the prisons will be full of
every guy you ever dated
319
00:16:37,249 --> 00:16:38,842
the girl that shushed you
at the Nutcracker
320
00:16:38,842 --> 00:16:41,398
and the counter lady at Zabar's
321
00:16:41,741 --> 00:16:45,621
She leans on the whitefish
when she weighs it
322
00:16:46,593 --> 00:16:47,445
I know it
323
00:16:47,445 --> 00:16:51,396
I pay extra for that fat ass thumb
324
00:16:53,029 --> 00:16:55,008
Grace, I never get to go to court
325
00:16:55,008 --> 00:16:56,906
This is my chance
to prove myself
326
00:16:56,906 --> 00:16:58,965
Look, I--I got
the Paul Newman half-glasses
327
00:16:58,965 --> 00:17:00,893
and I got three great
Tom Cruise moves
328
00:17:00,893 --> 00:17:02,972
I got... from The Firm
329
00:17:02,972 --> 00:17:06,025
I got, uh... from A Few Good Men
330
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:09,206
and just in case I need it, from
uh, from Jerry Maguire, I got...
331
00:17:09,206 --> 00:17:11,511
"Fine!"
332
00:17:16,314 --> 00:17:18,349
Well, why can't some other
lawyer do this?
333
00:17:18,349 --> 00:17:20,345
Grace, I can't drop out now, ok?
334
00:17:20,345 --> 00:17:21,510
I'm not that kind of man
335
00:17:21,510 --> 00:17:22,482
I'm an ethical man...
336
00:17:22,482 --> 00:17:25,023
A man of conviction
A man of courage
337
00:17:25,023 --> 00:17:26,578
Besides, the judge
already gave me permission
338
00:17:26,578 --> 00:17:28,963
to videotape
it for my mom
339
00:17:38,372 --> 00:17:39,545
Wow....
340
00:17:39,545 --> 00:17:44,176
I have seen a lot of Cher concerts
341
00:17:53,826 --> 00:17:55,123
What's that?
342
00:17:56,515 --> 00:17:58,028
What?
343
00:17:58,028 --> 00:18:00,134
In your mouth
344
00:18:01,516 --> 00:18:03,245
You're chewin' somethin'
345
00:18:03,547 --> 00:18:04,993
What is it?
346
00:18:05,619 --> 00:18:06,697
- Nothing
- Liar!
347
00:18:06,697 --> 00:18:08,788
It's a Smint!
Give it to me!
348
00:18:08,300 --> 00:18:10,131
- No!
- Give it to me!
349
00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:12,112
Karen, get a hold of yourself!
350
00:18:12,112 --> 00:18:14,105
Oh, I can't take it anymore!
351
00:18:14,105 --> 00:18:16,419
I feel like an animal
caught in a trap!
352
00:18:16,419 --> 00:18:19,450
Oh, now I miss my coats, damn it
353
00:18:19,785 --> 00:18:22,513
I do not heart prison anymore
354
00:18:22,513 --> 00:18:26,098
Oh, honey, neither do I
355
00:18:26,526 --> 00:18:30,079
Well... At least we only
have two hours left
356
00:18:31,684 --> 00:18:33,171
- Rosario!
- No, Karen, what are you doing?
357
00:18:33,171 --> 00:18:34,423
We could still win
358
00:18:34,423 --> 00:18:36,851
Honey, I don't wanna win anymore
359
00:18:36,851 --> 00:18:39,874
If it's this bad for us, think about
what it must like for Stan
360
00:18:39,874 --> 00:18:41,407
I gotta go see him
361
00:18:41,407 --> 00:18:44,409
Rosario, get in here!
362
00:18:45,284 --> 00:18:47,442
What is it, meat?
363
00:18:47,931 --> 00:18:49,078
Hmm. Meat
364
00:18:49,078 --> 00:18:53,254
I may keep that name on the outside
365
00:18:53,254 --> 00:18:56,021
It's over
You win
366
00:18:56,021 --> 00:18:58,746
Aha, I knew you couldn't make it
367
00:18:58,746 --> 00:19:03,295
You may talk tough
but you're soft like a noodle
368
00:19:04,759 --> 00:19:07,960
So you can forget about
hunting me like a fox
369
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:09,670
Yeah, yeah
Big loss
370
00:19:09,670 --> 00:19:12,873
You spook the horses anyway
371
00:19:15,298 --> 00:19:17,955
Get outta here. Go on
Get outta here
372
00:19:18,250 --> 00:19:19,831
I'm gonna go see Stan
373
00:19:20,804 --> 00:19:22,524
Ah, Karen...
374
00:19:22,524 --> 00:19:27,954
Beneath those big breasts beats
a heart as big as those breasts
375
00:19:31,738 --> 00:19:33,539
Do you want me to come with you?
376
00:19:33,539 --> 00:19:35,021
No, honey
377
00:19:35,021 --> 00:19:39,287
Like lovemaking
this is something best done by myself
378
00:19:42,940 --> 00:19:44,326
Good afternoon
379
00:19:44,752 --> 00:19:46,757
In the matter of
The State v. Gabriel
380
00:19:46,757 --> 00:19:48,554
what we'll attempt to prove today
381
00:19:48,554 --> 00:19:51,480
is that the evidence against
my client was illegally obtained
382
00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:55,771
Now I refer you to the documents
that will hereafter be known as
383
00:19:55,771 --> 00:19:58,061
Exhibit A
384
00:20:01,100 --> 00:20:03,784
I'll review these in my chambers
385
00:20:03,784 --> 00:20:05,537
Fine!
386
00:20:10,316 --> 00:20:12,729
I wanna thank you so much
for getting me off
387
00:20:12,729 --> 00:20:14,063
I couldn't have
done it without you
388
00:20:14,063 --> 00:20:16,025
Well, it was--
it was a thrill for me
389
00:20:16,025 --> 00:20:17,257
I--I enjoyed doing it
390
00:20:17,257 --> 00:20:18,303
but now that I'm not your lawyer
391
00:20:18,303 --> 00:20:19,868
if you come within
five feet of Grace
392
00:20:19,868 --> 00:20:23,485
so help me, God, you'll be
singing "Rosanna" through a tube
393
00:20:24,592 --> 00:20:26,091
Ok
394
00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:32,316
Hey
395
00:20:33,194 --> 00:20:34,695
You were pretty amazing up there
396
00:20:34,695 --> 00:20:36,010
You saw me?
397
00:20:36,010 --> 00:20:37,718
Peeked in
398
00:20:37,718 --> 00:20:42,534
You were a regular
Oliver Wendell Homo
399
00:20:44,844 --> 00:20:46,222
Funny
400
00:20:46,222 --> 00:20:49,148
F. Lee Gayley
401
00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:51,417
You get one more
402
00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:54,329
Johnnie Cochran
403
00:20:56,728 --> 00:20:58,404
That's his real name
404
00:20:58,808 --> 00:21:00,256
It still works
29733
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