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1
00:00:04,919 --> 00:00:06,328
So, Larry..
2
00:00:06,328 --> 00:00:08,279
I have no problem
with you borrowing this
3
00:00:08,279 --> 00:00:10,591
but you've just gotta understand
it means a lot to me
4
00:00:10,591 --> 00:00:14,594
It belonged to my Aunt Tillie
until she lost her sight
5
00:00:14,594 --> 00:00:15,865
That's so sad
6
00:00:15,865 --> 00:00:16,478
Not really
7
00:00:16,478 --> 00:00:19,376
That's why I was able to
sneak it out of her house
8
00:00:20,910 --> 00:00:22,962
Anyway, a few ground rules
9
00:00:22,962 --> 00:00:26,556
Never wash it with soap
You don't need it
10
00:00:27,879 --> 00:00:30,814
Don't use a steel brush on it
It'll ruin the finish
11
00:00:32,724 --> 00:00:37,212
And by all means
don't shove it up your butt!
12
00:00:37,624 --> 00:00:41,255
Mime that one, you big homo!
There's a mirror right there!
13
00:00:42,266 --> 00:00:43,546
Well, come on
14
00:00:43,546 --> 00:00:47,305
It's not a heart valve
It's a coffee urn
15
00:00:47,901 --> 00:00:50,235
You two argue
like Joe and I do
16
00:00:50,235 --> 00:00:51,280
only you don't have to deal with
17
00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:55,458
your husband's hateful
stares in bed afterwards
18
00:00:56,487 --> 00:00:58,688
Well, thanks again for this
19
00:00:58,688 --> 00:01:00,536
- Bye, guys
- Enjoy your party
20
00:01:00,536 --> 00:01:04,273
Happy Moulin Rouge
coming out on DVD
21
00:01:08,885 --> 00:01:12,062
Ok, fan out
We got a lot of work to do
22
00:01:12,589 --> 00:01:14,762
- I'll hit the fridge
- I'll hit the bedroom
23
00:01:14,762 --> 00:01:18,681
And I'll fashion a crude grappling hook
and meet you atop the windmill
24
00:01:18,972 --> 00:01:20,400
What's going on?
25
00:01:21,315 --> 00:01:23,846
Oh, you're so nosy!
26
00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:28,464
Karen bought a horse
and we're here to get some supplies
27
00:01:29,562 --> 00:01:33,782
Jack, look at this old rag
I found to line the stall
28
00:01:34,727 --> 00:01:37,181
That is my bedspread
29
00:01:37,989 --> 00:01:41,323
Well, honey, I'm gonna wash it
before I give it to the horse
30
00:01:41,323 --> 00:01:43,194
Oh, give me that!
31
00:01:45,746 --> 00:01:47,943
What are you doing buying a horse?
32
00:01:47,943 --> 00:01:51,526
What, you got sick of
riding Rosario around the house?
33
00:01:52,601 --> 00:01:57,833
Oh, Grace, it's always been my dream
to have a whole stable full of horses
34
00:01:57,833 --> 00:01:59,113
Oh, when did that start?
35
00:01:59,113 --> 00:02:01,568
After you took
your first black beauty?
36
00:02:08,330 --> 00:02:10,484
Yes, it did
37
00:02:12,405 --> 00:02:14,594
And, you know
it's a good investment, too
38
00:02:14,594 --> 00:02:18,695
Yeah, we're gonna put him out
to stud and make some money
39
00:02:19,193 --> 00:02:22,235
Oh, lucky pony....
40
00:02:24,805 --> 00:02:26,929
Look, here he is
Oh~~~
41
00:02:26,929 --> 00:02:31,453
he's got my eyes
but Stan's girth and fetlocks
42
00:02:32,405 --> 00:02:36,512
Oh, my god, he's gorgeous!
What's his name?
43
00:02:36,512 --> 00:02:38,376
Well, he's named after a sailor
44
00:02:38,376 --> 00:02:43,041
I shared a very special evening
with during Fleet Week
45
00:02:43,722 --> 00:02:47,362
Don't you think "Hey You" is
going to be a little confusing?
46
00:02:48,281 --> 00:02:50,953
His name is Lamar
47
00:02:50,953 --> 00:02:54,269
Well, maybe I could
ride Lamar sometime
48
00:02:54,269 --> 00:02:57,274
Funny, that's just
what Jack said to the sailor
49
00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:21,331
Hey, you're gonna think I'm crazy
50
00:03:21,331 --> 00:03:25,399
but there's a weird smell
coming from the show tunes section
51
00:03:26,433 --> 00:03:29,546
Hmm, maybe somebody took The Wiz
52
00:03:33,873 --> 00:03:35,766
Is that your father's mistress?
53
00:03:35,766 --> 00:03:37,926
Tina?
No, I don't think--
54
00:03:39,183 --> 00:03:41,099
Yep, that's Tina
55
00:03:42,145 --> 00:03:45,268
Oh, I'm sorry
I thought I had the receipt
56
00:03:45,268 --> 00:03:47,253
I don't
57
00:03:47,253 --> 00:03:50,361
We should really probably
go over and say hello
58
00:03:50,361 --> 00:03:52,092
Why would I say hello to
59
00:03:52,092 --> 00:03:54,163
the biggest problem
in my parents' marriage?
60
00:03:54,163 --> 00:03:57,113
Would you say hello to your--
your father's gassy stomach?
61
00:03:57,113 --> 00:03:59,680
Sure, why not?
It always says hello to me
62
00:04:01,674 --> 00:04:04,838
Um, yeah, ok
Well, I'll do what I can
63
00:04:04,838 --> 00:04:08,672
but they're gonna need to know
the reason you're returning 'em
64
00:04:08,672 --> 00:04:09,954
That's easy
65
00:04:09,954 --> 00:04:11,738
As you may or may not know
66
00:04:11,738 --> 00:04:17,045
I'm having an affair
The bastard broke my heart
67
00:04:18,219 --> 00:04:22,413
CDs... were... scratched
68
00:04:24,472 --> 00:04:27,959
Um, ok. Hold on
Let me go get the manager
69
00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:31,768
Tina?
70
00:04:31,768 --> 00:04:36,273
Oh, Grace. Will
Hi. What a surprise
71
00:04:36,273 --> 00:04:39,866
- Are--are you ok?
- Oh, yeah, I'm fine
72
00:04:39,866 --> 00:04:43,684
I just lost my receipt
73
00:04:44,301 --> 00:04:47,090
Oh! George and I were supposed to
spend his birthday together
74
00:04:47,090 --> 00:04:49,671
and then he said his wife
planned a little party for him
75
00:04:49,671 --> 00:04:52,305
so he had to stay home
and have a little cake
76
00:04:52,305 --> 00:04:55,955
Meaning he couldn't come into
the city for a little tart
77
00:04:57,202 --> 00:04:59,805
What am I even doing?
78
00:04:59,805 --> 00:05:02,442
If I had a brains at all
I would just leave him
79
00:05:02,442 --> 00:05:06,725
And I swear-- I swear, if I could
find the right person, I would, too
80
00:05:06,725 --> 00:05:08,791
Well, I have the perfect person
81
00:05:08,791 --> 00:05:10,371
- You do?
- You do?
82
00:05:10,371 --> 00:05:11,643
Yeah
Yeah
83
00:05:11,643 --> 00:05:14,290
he's--he's smart
but not too smart
84
00:05:14,290 --> 00:05:16,626
Charming, but not too charming
85
00:05:16,626 --> 00:05:19,129
Rich, but not too rich
86
00:05:19,129 --> 00:05:20,599
- He sounds great
- Mm-hmm
87
00:05:20,599 --> 00:05:23,001
But not too great
88
00:05:23,916 --> 00:05:26,924
God, maybe I should
89
00:05:26,924 --> 00:05:31,014
I mean, George is
cheating on me with his wife
90
00:05:32,171 --> 00:05:35,234
Ok. Let's do it
I'll call you
91
00:05:35,458 --> 00:05:40,110
Oh! Aah!
I found my receipt!
92
00:05:40,110 --> 00:05:43,412
Oh, maybe this is a sign. Oh!
93
00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:45,490
Fixing up my dad's girlfriend
94
00:05:45,490 --> 00:05:46,187
Nice
95
00:05:46,187 --> 00:05:48,208
What's next, a cruise
with the Korean woman
96
00:05:48,208 --> 00:05:51,611
my Uncle fathered
a child with during the war?
97
00:05:51,959 --> 00:05:53,464
Don't you get it?
98
00:05:53,464 --> 00:05:56,384
If we can make Tina see that
there are other guys out there for her
99
00:05:56,384 --> 00:05:59,646
then maybe she'll end
the affair with your father for good
100
00:06:01,290 --> 00:06:03,126
You know, that's actually a good idea
101
00:06:03,126 --> 00:06:05,390
That could work
You're a genius
102
00:06:05,390 --> 00:06:07,928
- Who's the guy?
- No idea
103
00:06:11,671 --> 00:06:15,165
This is so exciting
It's stud day!
104
00:06:16,045 --> 00:06:20,750
Hello, Lamar
Ooh, look at your pony package
105
00:06:25,758 --> 00:06:28,568
Karen, it is impolite to stare
106
00:06:34,501 --> 00:06:35,233
Excuse me
107
00:06:35,233 --> 00:06:38,170
- What penis?!
- There's nothing funny!
108
00:06:41,795 --> 00:06:43,806
Ok, then
109
00:06:43,806 --> 00:06:48,756
Time to see if this stud horse
is worth what you paid for him
110
00:06:48,756 --> 00:06:50,187
Come on now, Lamar
111
00:06:50,187 --> 00:06:52,613
Now, Lamar, when you get out there
take your time
112
00:06:52,613 --> 00:06:55,689
You're not in a hurry
You don't care
113
00:06:55,689 --> 00:06:59,032
That's how I'd play it, at least
114
00:06:59,570 --> 00:07:02,182
Although I'd probably wear pants
115
00:07:03,254 --> 00:07:06,128
No, I wouldn't!
116
00:07:07,828 --> 00:07:09,851
Yes, I would!
117
00:07:10,486 --> 00:07:13,048
("No, I wouldn't")
118
00:07:14,898 --> 00:07:17,567
Jackie, come here
119
00:07:17,567 --> 00:07:19,420
There goes my baby
120
00:07:19,975 --> 00:07:22,476
I'm feeling all maternal
all of a sudden
121
00:07:22,476 --> 00:07:24,290
I-- I don't know what it is
I'm so emotional
122
00:07:24,290 --> 00:07:27,108
It's like I have
this overriding urge to--
123
00:07:27,108 --> 00:07:30,838
Ooh, a salt lick!
There must be margaritas nearby
124
00:07:34,558 --> 00:07:36,226
Hey, Lamar
125
00:07:36,226 --> 00:07:39,651
Ooh, you found one, huh?
You like that one, do ya?
126
00:07:39,651 --> 00:07:42,364
All right, wel
a little long in the tooth
127
00:07:42,364 --> 00:07:44,044
a little horse face
128
00:07:44,044 --> 00:07:46,546
but whatever wins the derby
129
00:07:48,378 --> 00:07:49,767
Wow
130
00:07:49,767 --> 00:07:52,364
And they're off. Ha
131
00:07:52,364 --> 00:07:57,355
You go with that, Lamar! Yeah
You get behind that fine equine!
132
00:07:57,355 --> 00:08:01,182
Whoo! Yeah!
Yeah, yeah, look at that!
133
00:08:01,182 --> 00:08:04,000
She likey. She likey
she likey. Yeah!
134
00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:06,369
- That's a he
- What?!
135
00:08:10,328 --> 00:08:13,464
Great. Ok, Tina
we'll meet you there in half an hour
136
00:08:13,464 --> 00:08:15,758
Ok, Tina's all set
She's excited, she's giggling
137
00:08:15,758 --> 00:08:18,675
Apparently there's a new bra
We're good to go
138
00:08:19,335 --> 00:08:21,286
Just a matter of time
before the affair is over
139
00:08:21,286 --> 00:08:24,035
and my dad can return to a life of
quiet desperation with my mom
140
00:08:24,035 --> 00:08:24,817
Yay
141
00:08:26,341 --> 00:08:27,051
What?
142
00:08:27,051 --> 00:08:28,484
- My guy canceled
- What?!
143
00:08:28,484 --> 00:08:30,262
Turns out his wife is in town
144
00:08:30,262 --> 00:08:31,817
You set her up
with a married man?!
145
00:08:31,817 --> 00:08:34,075
That's what she's into!
146
00:08:34,075 --> 00:08:36,178
Tina is on her way to the restaurant
147
00:08:36,178 --> 00:08:37,874
If she's stood up
it'll devastate her
148
00:08:37,874 --> 00:08:39,862
and she'll go running right back
into the arms of my father
149
00:08:39,862 --> 00:08:41,297
Ok, this is not a disaster
Think
150
00:08:41,297 --> 00:08:42,786
We must know someone else
151
00:08:42,786 --> 00:08:46,116
We'll just call some other cute guy
and have him meet us at the restaurant
152
00:08:46,116 --> 00:08:47,338
Right
153
00:08:54,829 --> 00:08:56,298
Ok, this probably explains
why we're both alone
154
00:08:56,298 --> 00:08:57,610
Yeah
155
00:09:00,145 --> 00:09:01,843
Damn it
This is all your fault
156
00:09:01,843 --> 00:09:03,051
- Hi, Larry
- Hi
157
00:09:03,051 --> 00:09:04,426
How could it be my fault?
Hi, Larry
158
00:09:04,426 --> 00:09:04,947
Hi
159
00:09:05,670 --> 00:09:07,223
I don't know, it just is
160
00:09:07,223 --> 00:09:09,348
I'm just returning this
It was great
161
00:09:09,348 --> 00:09:11,373
The party was a huge success
162
00:09:11,373 --> 00:09:15,309
although Joe pulled
a muscle doing the can can
163
00:09:16,272 --> 00:09:19,024
He can't can't
164
00:09:21,131 --> 00:09:22,961
Well, what are we gonna do?!
165
00:09:22,961 --> 00:09:25,879
Cleaned it with a mixture of
baking soda and lemon juice
166
00:09:25,879 --> 00:09:26,979
No water spots!
167
00:09:26,979 --> 00:09:29,117
- I guess we're gonna have to cancel
- No, we are not canceling
168
00:09:29,117 --> 00:09:31,915
I'm way too into this idea
We've gotta find a way to make this work
169
00:09:31,915 --> 00:09:34,812
I dried it on a cookie rack
170
00:09:36,178 --> 00:09:37,800
How are we gonna find
a way to make this work?
171
00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:38,859
We don't have a date
172
00:09:38,859 --> 00:09:39,977
Well, we'll just have to find one
173
00:09:39,977 --> 00:09:41,883
In five minutes?
How?
174
00:09:41,883 --> 00:09:43,566
Again, thanks for the urn
175
00:09:43,566 --> 00:09:47,599
If there's anything I can ever do
for you, just let me know
176
00:09:50,784 --> 00:09:52,696
Uh-oh
177
00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:04,900
Tina, I'd like you
to meet your date, Larry
178
00:10:05,461 --> 00:10:09,969
- Hello, Larry
- Hello, handsome lady
179
00:10:18,550 --> 00:10:20,591
Lord, I've been all over this place
180
00:10:20,591 --> 00:10:22,967
Flies everywhere
clumps of dirt
181
00:10:22,967 --> 00:10:24,127
carrots
182
00:10:24,127 --> 00:10:27,300
It's like we're inside Grace's hairdo
183
00:10:28,193 --> 00:10:29,086
I'll tell you what, honey
184
00:10:29,086 --> 00:10:30,977
The minute Lamar starts
pumping out those ponies
185
00:10:30,977 --> 00:10:34,197
we're moving to a snazzier stable
186
00:10:34,197 --> 00:10:37,319
Yeah, Karen
there's something I need to tell you
187
00:10:38,617 --> 00:10:41,371
You love Lamar, right?
And you'd love him no matter what
188
00:10:41,371 --> 00:10:43,126
Why, of course I would
189
00:10:43,126 --> 00:10:50,856
Yeah, because Lamar is, um--
Lamar is-- Well, he's like me, Kare
190
00:10:51,223 --> 00:10:55,256
Not allowed to come
within 100 feet of Kevin Bacon?
191
00:10:59,324 --> 00:11:01,637
No, um...
192
00:11:02,668 --> 00:11:05,445
He's gay, Kare
Our horse is gay
193
00:11:05,445 --> 00:11:09,868
He practices the love that
dare not speak its naaaame
194
00:11:12,453 --> 00:11:14,156
Come on, honey, that's silly
195
00:11:14,156 --> 00:11:15,381
You think everything's gay
196
00:11:15,381 --> 00:11:17,558
First Canada, now Horse
197
00:11:17,558 --> 00:11:20,935
No, no. Really
Really, really, he is
198
00:11:20,935 --> 00:11:22,216
What do ya talk?
199
00:11:22,216 --> 00:11:23,665
It happens
200
00:11:23,665 --> 00:11:25,742
I once saw this thing
on lesbian seagulls
201
00:11:25,742 --> 00:11:28,102
on Animal Planet
202
00:11:28,601 --> 00:11:32,641
Yeah, they had short feathers here
and then real long feathers back here
203
00:11:41,905 --> 00:11:43,336
I think that's hysterical
204
00:11:43,336 --> 00:11:45,554
- I can't believe--
- I know
205
00:11:46,168 --> 00:11:48,289
Our stud's a dud
206
00:11:49,216 --> 00:11:52,065
I guess that makes you a nag hag
207
00:11:55,863 --> 00:11:58,961
- Ahh
- Whew...
208
00:11:59,517 --> 00:12:00,643
- Get rid of him
- What?!
209
00:12:00,643 --> 00:12:01,577
Sell him
Give him away
210
00:12:01,577 --> 00:12:03,804
- Send him to the glue factory
- Wait
211
00:12:03,804 --> 00:12:05,282
But-- But we love him
212
00:12:05,282 --> 00:12:05,754
Yeah?
213
00:12:05,754 --> 00:12:07,370
Well, now a million kindergarten kids
214
00:12:07,370 --> 00:12:10,980
with elbow macaroni
and glitter can love him, too
215
00:12:14,371 --> 00:12:18,243
So, Larry, tell me
do you have any hobbies?
216
00:12:18,243 --> 00:12:21,289
I like to needlepoint
217
00:12:22,394 --> 00:12:24,327
Really?
218
00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:26,453
Well, not many men do that
219
00:12:26,453 --> 00:12:30,385
Well, he only does
that to--to loosen up
220
00:12:30,385 --> 00:12:33,900
during a macho game of baseball
221
00:12:35,106 --> 00:12:36,658
Tell her, Will
222
00:12:37,324 --> 00:12:40,231
Uh, yeah
Good setup
223
00:12:40,231 --> 00:12:44,861
Uh, when-- When Larry was pitching
for the baseball team in college
224
00:12:44,861 --> 00:12:48,372
Uh, yeah. , you know, he spent
so much time in that-- That little area
225
00:12:48,372 --> 00:12:51,393
What's it called, Larry?
Where do the pitchers go?
226
00:12:51,393 --> 00:12:54,507
In the China hutch?
227
00:12:59,768 --> 00:13:03,030
Will you excuse me for a minute?
228
00:13:03,487 --> 00:13:05,343
One too many Kir Royales
229
00:13:05,343 --> 00:13:08,399
I've got a bladder
the size of an acorn
230
00:13:08,399 --> 00:13:10,605
It sounds funny
but it's actually a condition
231
00:13:10,605 --> 00:13:13,342
I'm in a textbook
232
00:13:14,193 --> 00:13:15,403
Excuse me
233
00:13:17,292 --> 00:13:18,719
God, you're bad!
234
00:13:18,719 --> 00:13:20,811
Don't you know when not-- not--
not to bring up needlepoint
235
00:13:20,811 --> 00:13:22,018
when you're on
a date with a woman?!
236
00:13:22,018 --> 00:13:23,026
No, I don't, Will
237
00:13:23,026 --> 00:13:24,510
I've never been on a date
with a woman before
238
00:13:24,510 --> 00:13:25,843
I don't know what I'm doing
239
00:13:25,843 --> 00:13:29,404
Ok, ok. Well
what did you do to win Joe over?
240
00:13:30,361 --> 00:13:32,433
Well, I made him
a beautiful accent pillow
241
00:13:32,433 --> 00:13:37,295
using a combination of
the classic continental and brick stitch
242
00:13:37,725 --> 00:13:39,642
Oh, we're screwed
243
00:13:40,203 --> 00:13:41,899
- Ok, this will not work
- Yes, it will
244
00:13:41,899 --> 00:13:43,270
It has to work
245
00:13:43,270 --> 00:13:45,592
Larry, listen, we gotta
make Tina feel confident
246
00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:48,619
She has to see that
there's other viable men out there
247
00:13:48,619 --> 00:13:52,072
Well-- But I don't know
how to be romantic with a woman
248
00:13:52,072 --> 00:13:53,461
I got it
249
00:13:53,790 --> 00:13:56,018
Treat her like she's your mother
250
00:13:58,016 --> 00:14:01,240
What kind of sick stereotype is that?!
251
00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:02,940
Why would you even suggest that?
252
00:14:02,940 --> 00:14:06,538
- Think about you and your mother
- Treat her like she's your mother
253
00:14:10,289 --> 00:14:13,918
I'm only cutting half of this for you
so you can take the other half home
254
00:14:13,918 --> 00:14:17,390
It'll make a nice sandwich tomorrow
255
00:14:20,897 --> 00:14:22,408
Oh, jeez
256
00:14:22,408 --> 00:14:24,446
Larry, you know, you really
oughta hit the bathroom
257
00:14:24,446 --> 00:14:25,959
you know, before that stain sets
258
00:14:25,959 --> 00:14:28,231
- What stain?
- That one there
259
00:14:28,231 --> 00:14:31,348
Oh, my god!
How did I do that?
260
00:14:31,348 --> 00:14:32,920
I'll be right back
261
00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:36,771
Do not let her order
another glass of wine
262
00:14:45,521 --> 00:14:48,579
Where did you find this guy?
263
00:14:49,379 --> 00:14:51,192
I know
264
00:14:51,192 --> 00:14:52,754
Look, we gotta
be honest with you, Tina
265
00:14:52,754 --> 00:14:56,006
Larry was not the person
that we were gonna set you up with
266
00:14:56,006 --> 00:15:00,248
Um... The thing about
Larry is that he's--
267
00:15:00,248 --> 00:15:02,358
Wonderful!
268
00:15:02,358 --> 00:15:03,969
What?
269
00:15:04,790 --> 00:15:07,715
He notices everything about me
270
00:15:07,715 --> 00:15:12,302
He's completely honest
He's sensitive, he needlepoints
271
00:15:12,302 --> 00:15:15,212
I love him!
272
00:15:17,009 --> 00:15:19,985
And he loves you, too
273
00:15:23,859 --> 00:15:25,853
Ok, there he is, Trainer
274
00:15:25,853 --> 00:15:28,082
Now go make him pretty
for the auction block
275
00:15:28,082 --> 00:15:29,573
- I'll go get the trailer
- Ok
276
00:15:29,573 --> 00:15:31,327
Don't do this, Karen
277
00:15:31,327 --> 00:15:32,863
He may be gay
but he's still our horse
278
00:15:32,863 --> 00:15:33,756
Nothing has changed
279
00:15:33,756 --> 00:15:35,254
Everything's changed
280
00:15:35,254 --> 00:15:38,676
What about my dream about
a barn full of grandponies?
281
00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:41,249
Come on
This is all your fault
282
00:15:41,249 --> 00:15:42,604
You spoiled him
283
00:15:42,604 --> 00:15:45,008
the way you doted on him
constantly brushing him
284
00:15:45,008 --> 00:15:46,120
French-braiding his tail
285
00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:48,924
putting clear polish on his hooves
286
00:15:49,377 --> 00:15:52,911
All I did was love him!
287
00:15:54,060 --> 00:15:56,499
Go find Trainer
and get him out of here!
288
00:15:56,499 --> 00:15:57,701
I can't even look at him
289
00:15:57,701 --> 00:15:59,893
We gotta dump this pony
before there's a pictureof him
290
00:15:59,893 --> 00:16:03,466
in The Enquirer
having drinks with Liza
291
00:16:04,478 --> 00:16:05,984
Fine!
292
00:16:05,984 --> 00:16:09,443
I'll go get his luggage
and his clogs
293
00:16:11,248 --> 00:16:14,549
Come on
Don't look at me like that
294
00:16:14,549 --> 00:16:18,698
It's nothing personal
it's just you're not what I signed on for
295
00:16:22,161 --> 00:16:28,086
Ooh, soft
Like washable suede
296
00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:32,651
My mind's already made up
so you just might as--
297
00:16:33,918 --> 00:16:37,275
Come on
Noticing my couture
298
00:16:37,275 --> 00:16:40,418
Just like my little Jackie
299
00:16:47,351 --> 00:16:48,881
Oh, my god!
300
00:16:48,881 --> 00:16:52,259
Honey, you're right
This scarf doesn't go with this outfit at all
301
00:16:52,259 --> 00:16:55,068
What was I thinking??
302
00:16:56,811 --> 00:16:59,581
Now, he needs to
be brushed twice a day
303
00:16:59,581 --> 00:17:02,566
and he likes most music
304
00:17:02,566 --> 00:17:05,043
except Charlotte Church
305
00:17:05,043 --> 00:17:10,050
He senses she's been deprived of
a childhood by her fame-hungry parents
306
00:17:10,050 --> 00:17:12,632
Or I'll sell him
to the highest bidder
307
00:17:12,632 --> 00:17:13,726
Let's go, Lamar
308
00:17:13,726 --> 00:17:17,061
Whoa, cowdaddy
I've changed my mind
309
00:17:17,061 --> 00:17:18,566
Wh-what are you saying?
310
00:17:18,566 --> 00:17:20,785
I can't do it, Jack
I can't get rid of him
311
00:17:20,785 --> 00:17:23,707
I don't care who he sleeps with
He's my boy, and I love him
312
00:17:23,707 --> 00:17:26,865
I love him
I love my big, gay horse!
313
00:17:32,288 --> 00:17:33,341
I want to go home
314
00:17:33,341 --> 00:17:35,553
Why, yes, Larry
I'd love to show you my orchids
315
00:17:35,553 --> 00:17:39,904
They're out here on the balcony
Actually, they thrive in winter
316
00:17:41,194 --> 00:17:45,993
- Wow, you and Larry
- I know. Me and Larry
317
00:17:45,993 --> 00:17:47,300
Ohh
318
00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:49,612
Being out with him tonight
has certainly opened my eyes
319
00:17:49,612 --> 00:17:52,316
to the kind of men
that are out there
320
00:17:52,887 --> 00:17:53,821
That's our Larry
321
00:17:53,821 --> 00:17:55,554
You know, he's secure
he's confident
322
00:17:55,554 --> 00:17:59,040
One might even call
him a man's man
323
00:17:59,647 --> 00:18:03,339
I mean, he is
so gentle and attentive
324
00:18:03,339 --> 00:18:03,781
Yeah
325
00:18:03,781 --> 00:18:06,528
You probably couldn't
say that about my dad, huh?
326
00:18:06,528 --> 00:18:09,422
I don't want to talk
abt your father tonight
327
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:11,231
It's just gonna get me angry at him
328
00:18:11,231 --> 00:18:12,451
Go on, get angry
329
00:18:12,451 --> 00:18:16,218
I mean, right now he's probably
in bed with his lawfully wedded wife
330
00:18:17,506 --> 00:18:21,756
Larry
Larry, look at me
331
00:18:21,756 --> 00:18:26,345
You borrowed the coffee urn
332
00:18:27,841 --> 00:18:30,247
You owe us
333
00:18:31,782 --> 00:18:34,372
But when does it end?
334
00:18:34,672 --> 00:18:36,527
One more hour and then you're done
335
00:18:36,527 --> 00:18:38,878
Is that too much to ask to
save Will's parents' marriage?
336
00:18:38,878 --> 00:18:40,381
- Well--
- Come on
337
00:18:40,381 --> 00:18:46,157
there's a pound of coffee in it for you...
And some really good yarn
338
00:18:47,355 --> 00:18:49,618
I'm listening
339
00:18:50,457 --> 00:18:52,465
Not only that
your father's moody
340
00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:56,383
One minute he's-- he's soft and sweet to me
and the next it's all cold and clipped
341
00:18:56,383 --> 00:18:57,515
"Gotta get goin'."
342
00:18:57,515 --> 00:18:58,255
I wouldn't put up with it
343
00:18:58,255 --> 00:18:59,947
Do yourself a favor
cut the guy loose
344
00:18:59,947 --> 00:19:01,010
I should
345
00:19:01,010 --> 00:19:05,174
He's inconsiderate
he's cheap, and he's weak
346
00:19:05,174 --> 00:19:05,658
Ok
347
00:19:05,658 --> 00:19:08,833
And he can be so cruel
I mean a real son of a bitch
348
00:19:08,833 --> 00:19:09,990
Now, wait a minute
349
00:19:09,990 --> 00:19:12,992
Well, what would you call someone
who is incapable of love?
350
00:19:12,992 --> 00:19:14,843
- He is not
- He is!
351
00:19:14,843 --> 00:19:18,694
He'll say whatever you want to hear
just so he can get what he wants
352
00:19:18,694 --> 00:19:20,100
He doesn't care who gets hurt
353
00:19:20,100 --> 00:19:22,709
because he doesn't love
anyone but himself!
354
00:19:22,709 --> 00:19:24,841
Whoa, whoa, whoa
Ok, stop
355
00:19:24,841 --> 00:19:29,455
No, he--he may be some of
those things some of the time
356
00:19:29,455 --> 00:19:31,067
but let me tell you
my dad--
357
00:19:31,067 --> 00:19:32,779
When I was little and I got sick
358
00:19:32,779 --> 00:19:34,787
he would sit by my bedside
the entire night
359
00:19:34,787 --> 00:19:37,969
to make sure the washcloth
on my forehead stayed cool
360
00:19:37,969 --> 00:19:40,485
He got up every morning at 5:30
just to have juice with me
361
00:19:40,485 --> 00:19:42,152
before I went on my paper route
362
00:19:42,152 --> 00:19:44,641
And at 19
when I told dad I was gay
363
00:19:44,641 --> 00:19:49,723
he-- Well, he drove into
a telephone pole, but...
364
00:19:49,723 --> 00:19:52,134
That night he hugged me
365
00:19:52,134 --> 00:19:54,720
and said
"you're my son."
366
00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:57,203
That's all I know
367
00:19:58,576 --> 00:20:03,661
The man may have his faults
but not being able to love isn't one of them
368
00:20:06,470 --> 00:20:12,787
You're right, Will
George Truman is magnificent
369
00:20:14,161 --> 00:20:16,303
What? Uh--uh--
But
370
00:20:16,303 --> 00:20:18,143
remember, he's mean
371
00:20:19,998 --> 00:20:21,216
Go ahead
372
00:20:22,707 --> 00:20:23,753
Tina?
373
00:20:23,753 --> 00:20:28,891
Could I interest you in a moonlight walk
and then perhaps a nightcap?
374
00:20:29,634 --> 00:20:33,582
Oh, oh, Larry
that's so sweet
375
00:20:33,582 --> 00:20:36,024
but I'm in love with another man
376
00:20:36,024 --> 00:20:39,215
Oh, thank God
So am I
377
00:20:43,572 --> 00:20:48,157
I'll call you later to
let you know that I got home safely
378
00:20:53,545 --> 00:20:56,501
He is lovely
379
00:20:57,010 --> 00:21:01,845
I can't put my finger on it
but he seems more like your type, Grace
28158
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