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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,050 --> 00:00:08,050 Improved By: FidelPerez. 2 00:00:20,184 --> 00:00:21,515 Nice! 3 00:00:41,582 --> 00:00:42,712 I love this belt. 4 00:00:53,719 --> 00:00:56,259 Only 30 minutes more TV. Okay, hon? 5 00:00:59,307 --> 00:01:02,807 This lamp. Sweet. Oh. 6 00:01:06,564 --> 00:01:08,314 Donnie's gonna be here any minute. 7 00:01:08,900 --> 00:01:11,281 Yeah. Whoa. 8 00:01:49,149 --> 00:01:50,739 Welcome home, Sean Floyd. 9 00:01:53,653 --> 00:01:55,632 All right, Donnie's here. So, I guess I'll see you guys tomorrow. 10 00:01:55,656 --> 00:01:56,656 All right, honey. 11 00:01:56,740 --> 00:01:58,409 - Have fun camping, kiddo. - Bye! 12 00:01:59,659 --> 00:02:02,409 Oh, yeah. Ah, Ooh. 13 00:02:02,495 --> 00:02:04,075 Oh, my God. 14 00:02:04,164 --> 00:02:05,373 Ooh. 15 00:02:05,456 --> 00:02:06,456 Holy shit. 16 00:02:06,500 --> 00:02:08,000 - What is this? - I don't know! 17 00:02:08,085 --> 00:02:10,164 - Oh, my God. - Work! 18 00:02:10,711 --> 00:02:13,472 - Just walk over, hit the button on the TV. - What are they doing? 19 00:02:13,549 --> 00:02:15,049 Okay, I'll see you guys later. 20 00:02:15,509 --> 00:02:17,639 What are you doing? 21 00:02:18,262 --> 00:02:20,222 Dude, what are you doing? Are you serious? 22 00:02:20,305 --> 00:02:24,094 Sean Floyd, back on American soil for one week only! 23 00:02:24,183 --> 00:02:26,465 Dude, turn that off. My little brother is crying in there. 24 00:02:26,562 --> 00:02:28,231 That's crazy porn. 25 00:02:28,312 --> 00:02:29,402 She's a big girl. 26 00:02:30,106 --> 00:02:31,437 What are you wearing? 27 00:02:32,776 --> 00:02:34,066 They're my hiking shorts. 28 00:02:34,152 --> 00:02:36,588 Why do those shorts cover your belly button but not your balls? 29 00:02:36,612 --> 00:02:39,013 What's that on your face? You spilled something on your face. 30 00:02:39,115 --> 00:02:42,325 It looks like you drank a glass of Ed Sheeran's pubes. 31 00:02:42,411 --> 00:02:45,211 One fact, the '80s nostalgia wave we're living in, it's about to crest. 32 00:02:45,288 --> 00:02:47,516 And when it does, I'm gonna be swimming in puss. Doy you know why? 33 00:02:47,540 --> 00:02:49,227 What, are you growing a Narcos coke 'stache? 34 00:02:49,251 --> 00:02:51,251 I am growing a Narcos coke 'stache, my friend. 35 00:02:51,336 --> 00:02:54,754 - You're growing a coke 'stache. - Mm-hmm. Donnie Escobar, right here. 36 00:02:54,756 --> 00:02:55,756 - Wow. - That's right. 37 00:02:57,091 --> 00:02:58,301 How you doing, pal? 38 00:02:58,384 --> 00:03:00,384 - I'm good. How are you? - Glad to have you back. 39 00:03:00,469 --> 00:03:02,599 Ah, it's good to be back and... 40 00:03:03,264 --> 00:03:04,305 Oh, we're hugging. 41 00:03:04,390 --> 00:03:06,441 ♫ That I'm sipping on ♫ 42 00:03:06,518 --> 00:03:09,268 ♫ Ass that I'm gripping on Leather that I'm sitting on ♫ 43 00:03:09,396 --> 00:03:10,646 ♫ Put this in your stereo ♫ 44 00:03:10,730 --> 00:03:12,360 ♫ Press play, now here we go ♫ 45 00:03:14,193 --> 00:03:15,203 Oh, hey, dudes. 46 00:03:15,276 --> 00:03:17,106 'Sup, Virgin Megastore? 47 00:03:17,195 --> 00:03:19,365 - Excuse me? - Oh, shit. 48 00:03:20,490 --> 00:03:21,699 - Hey, Mrs. Abelar. - Hey. 49 00:03:21,783 --> 00:03:22,783 Hi. 50 00:03:23,326 --> 00:03:26,037 Jeremy, what are you doing over there? 51 00:03:26,121 --> 00:03:28,251 Jeremy! 52 00:03:28,331 --> 00:03:31,211 I can see you are jerking off the walking stick! 53 00:03:31,293 --> 00:03:32,552 Mom, I'm packing. 54 00:03:32,961 --> 00:03:36,010 Your dad and I are leaving in an hour, and I want you out of here ASAP. 55 00:03:36,088 --> 00:03:37,218 Okay, I'm going! 56 00:03:37,591 --> 00:03:39,341 Oh, God, I so need this vacation. 57 00:03:39,425 --> 00:03:41,885 Six hours, I'll be in Napa with a Zinfandel. 58 00:03:41,969 --> 00:03:43,389 Bye, Mrs. Abelar. 59 00:03:43,472 --> 00:03:44,812 Look who the fuck is back. 60 00:03:44,889 --> 00:03:47,189 - What's up, man? - What's up, man? 61 00:03:47,266 --> 00:03:51,266 Yo, you dogs ready to get... fucked up? 62 00:03:51,354 --> 00:03:52,514 - Oh, yeah. - Show him the ID. 63 00:03:53,064 --> 00:03:54,775 It's a military ID. 64 00:03:54,858 --> 00:03:56,608 1991, dude. 65 00:03:56,692 --> 00:03:59,242 - What? You actually buy stuff with this? - Fuck yeah, he does. 66 00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:01,491 Jack Jessop reporting for booze. 67 00:04:01,657 --> 00:04:02,826 You don't look like this guy. 68 00:04:03,282 --> 00:04:04,483 This guy looks like a soldier. 69 00:04:04,533 --> 00:04:06,221 You look like Pocahontas. 70 00:04:06,245 --> 00:04:08,495 - Dude, no one says shit to an Army ranger. - All right. 71 00:04:08,580 --> 00:04:11,419 I found this outside the booth at the gun and knife show 72 00:04:11,667 --> 00:04:14,586 when I was picking up this bad boy. Check it out. Check it out. 73 00:04:14,752 --> 00:04:15,592 Huh? 74 00:04:15,670 --> 00:04:16,761 - Whoa. - Oh, shit. 75 00:04:16,838 --> 00:04:17,838 Hoo-rah! 76 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:19,358 - Pretty tight, huh? - Yeah, it's cool. 77 00:04:19,382 --> 00:04:22,512 This is in case we run into any crazy shit out in the woods. 78 00:04:22,593 --> 00:04:25,463 - Like, fucking crazy shit! Shit. Fuck! - Whoa, man! 79 00:04:25,555 --> 00:04:27,355 - I'm... Sorry, dude. - Come on, man. 80 00:04:27,723 --> 00:04:31,014 I try to act like I'm riding a bike, but I still got the training wheels on. 81 00:04:31,103 --> 00:04:32,403 - You feel me? - Yeah. 82 00:04:32,812 --> 00:04:34,499 - Let's just pack up the van. - Let's do it! 83 00:04:34,523 --> 00:04:38,572 - Yeah, let's just get the fuck out of here. - Let's pack it up. Hit the road. 84 00:04:38,985 --> 00:04:40,425 Why are there so many bags? 85 00:04:40,487 --> 00:04:41,646 - What is all this shit? - Oh! 86 00:04:42,322 --> 00:04:47,081 Uh... Yeah, there's a slight change of plans, dude. 87 00:04:47,159 --> 00:04:50,329 It sucks total donkey dick. 88 00:04:50,413 --> 00:04:52,824 - Stop going through my shit, perv. - Sarah? 89 00:04:53,709 --> 00:04:55,338 No. No. No! 90 00:04:55,418 --> 00:04:57,459 No, no. No way. No, no, no. 91 00:04:57,545 --> 00:04:59,836 - For real? - Why does this feel so awkward? 92 00:05:00,007 --> 00:05:01,966 Jeremy, did you not tell them that we were coming? 93 00:05:02,634 --> 00:05:05,803 I was... I'm telling them now. Like, they're learning of it right now. 94 00:05:05,887 --> 00:05:07,927 - Are you kidding? - They're coming. 95 00:05:08,889 --> 00:05:10,019 Welcome back, Sean. 96 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:11,889 Hey! Hey, what's up? 97 00:05:13,394 --> 00:05:15,665 - Do you not hug people anymore? - Oh, yeah, sorry. 98 00:05:15,689 --> 00:05:17,369 - They don't hug in Germany? - Yeah. 99 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:19,940 Welcome back. I mean, I'm back. You're not back. 100 00:05:20,026 --> 00:05:22,356 I'm just back for the next week. Hey, Sarah, what's up? 101 00:05:22,446 --> 00:05:23,526 Were you really in Germany? 102 00:05:23,612 --> 00:05:26,550 There was a whole rumor going around that you were actually in rehab for bath salts. 103 00:05:26,574 --> 00:05:28,574 - Everyone's talking about it. - What? No. 104 00:05:28,660 --> 00:05:30,579 Nein! Nein! I was in Germany. Yeah. 105 00:05:31,495 --> 00:05:32,495 Cool hiking gear. 106 00:05:32,831 --> 00:05:34,211 Hmm? Oh. What? 107 00:05:34,290 --> 00:05:36,420 - How'd that get tucked in? - Stop! 108 00:05:36,543 --> 00:05:38,213 - You're ruining my bra! - I don't care. 109 00:05:38,295 --> 00:05:40,545 This shit's expensive. Stop! 110 00:05:40,629 --> 00:05:43,009 Jeremy said we're going like, six miles into the woods. 111 00:05:43,091 --> 00:05:43,930 Yeah! 112 00:05:44,050 --> 00:05:45,600 Yeah. I'm glad you're coming, though. 113 00:05:45,677 --> 00:05:47,529 You know. It's all gonna be worth it when you see me twerking 114 00:05:47,553 --> 00:05:49,173 with Mother Nature. 115 00:05:49,514 --> 00:05:52,183 Are you gonna be twerking against a tree or... 116 00:05:52,350 --> 00:05:54,350 - How does that work? - I don't know. 117 00:05:55,853 --> 00:05:57,093 Excuse me! 118 00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:59,321 This is supposed to be a bros trip. 119 00:05:59,399 --> 00:06:02,278 So, I need a group meeting. Now! Sean! 120 00:06:02,944 --> 00:06:05,064 - Sounds mad. Yeah. - So, I gotta go. Um... 121 00:06:06,072 --> 00:06:07,072 Bye. 122 00:06:08,033 --> 00:06:10,872 Hey, did you guys know that people think I've been in rehab? 123 00:06:10,951 --> 00:06:11,831 - Yeah. - Yeah. 124 00:06:11,911 --> 00:06:15,041 Yeah, it's just... it's some bullshit rumor, dude. Forget about it. 125 00:06:15,122 --> 00:06:17,632 Look, I'm feeling fucking betrayed with you right now, J-Tron. 126 00:06:17,709 --> 00:06:19,228 Chad and my sister broke up yesterday, 127 00:06:19,252 --> 00:06:21,172 so she bailed on the Cancun trip with his family. 128 00:06:21,213 --> 00:06:23,302 - That's fine. - Oh, what? They broke up? 129 00:06:24,716 --> 00:06:27,636 - That sucks. - Yeah, she found out he cheated on her... 130 00:06:27,718 --> 00:06:29,718 I don't care what happened. 131 00:06:30,012 --> 00:06:32,682 I'm not going camping with my ex this weekend. 132 00:06:32,766 --> 00:06:35,055 Wait, I thought you guys were never, you know "official." 133 00:06:35,143 --> 00:06:37,302 Yeah, that's one of our many disputes. Thank you, Sean. 134 00:06:39,021 --> 00:06:41,401 Spring break. Indigonanza... 135 00:06:42,149 --> 00:06:45,029 - is about bros. Bonding. - Uh-huh. 136 00:06:45,112 --> 00:06:46,492 Ceremoniously drinking 137 00:06:46,571 --> 00:06:49,951 a bottle of Indigo Caribbean Spiced Rum in 48 hours. 138 00:06:51,283 --> 00:06:53,244 - That's the tradition. - This is true. 139 00:06:53,327 --> 00:06:56,538 Plus, we only have Sean for one week before he goes back to dipping his balls 140 00:06:56,622 --> 00:06:58,423 in sauerkraut for the rest of the school year. 141 00:06:58,457 --> 00:06:59,877 That's not something we do. 142 00:06:59,959 --> 00:07:02,209 All right. This is shitty for me too, okay? 143 00:07:02,295 --> 00:07:04,148 I mean, my girlfriend freaked out when she found out 144 00:07:04,172 --> 00:07:06,221 ladies were coming and I didn't invite her. 145 00:07:06,298 --> 00:07:09,098 Jeremy, how many times do I have to tell you? You're being catfished. 146 00:07:10,262 --> 00:07:12,721 Her name is Kendall Jenners. 147 00:07:13,348 --> 00:07:14,518 With an S. 148 00:07:14,723 --> 00:07:16,973 - Not real. - That's her name, okay? 149 00:07:17,351 --> 00:07:18,651 She's real, all right? 150 00:07:18,728 --> 00:07:22,317 We're gonna meet this summer at theater camp and we're gonna have sex. 151 00:07:22,983 --> 00:07:25,322 Hey, actually, that reminds me, Sean. 152 00:07:25,401 --> 00:07:28,951 You know, this weekend might actually, finally be your chance to bang my sister. 153 00:07:29,029 --> 00:07:31,120 - Whoa, whoa! - What the fuck? 154 00:07:31,199 --> 00:07:34,869 She's my twin sister, okay? We have this special connection thing. 155 00:07:34,952 --> 00:07:37,332 If she's having sex, it's like if I'm having sex. 156 00:07:37,413 --> 00:07:40,074 - Dude, that's gro... Don't say that! Because, now... - Why not? 157 00:07:40,167 --> 00:07:42,747 Why would you not want me to feel sex? Sex is great. 158 00:07:42,836 --> 00:07:43,745 It's your fucking twin. 159 00:07:43,836 --> 00:07:45,197 Don't be disgust... 160 00:07:45,254 --> 00:07:48,584 - Jesus Christ! - Stop pouting in there, cheddar bush. 161 00:07:50,384 --> 00:07:52,754 It's gonna be like this the whole fucking time. 162 00:07:53,180 --> 00:07:54,519 Scared me. 163 00:07:55,639 --> 00:07:56,889 Here we go. 164 00:07:57,516 --> 00:07:59,346 - Bye! - Bye, Mrs. Abelar. 165 00:07:59,435 --> 00:08:02,055 - Bye! - Fuck you, Mrs. Abelar. 166 00:08:02,146 --> 00:08:03,937 Don't say "fuck you" to my mom, man. 167 00:08:04,024 --> 00:08:07,894 - We say "fuck you" to Mom all the time. - Well, yeah, but she's, like, our mom. 168 00:08:08,653 --> 00:08:11,783 I just don't think any Abelar woman should be disrespected... 169 00:08:12,406 --> 00:08:13,406 like that. 170 00:08:14,617 --> 00:08:15,697 Yeah. 171 00:08:16,076 --> 00:08:17,617 Ah, they're good kids. 172 00:08:17,870 --> 00:08:20,040 - They're nightmares. - I know, hon. Let's go. 173 00:08:20,122 --> 00:08:22,343 - They're my suicidal nightmares. - I know, I know. 174 00:08:28,632 --> 00:08:30,971 ♫ ...to do what I want ♫ 175 00:08:31,134 --> 00:08:35,173 - Uh... - ♫ So free ♫ 176 00:08:41,311 --> 00:08:42,951 - ♫ I'm free ♫ - Uh, thanks, man. 177 00:08:46,232 --> 00:08:48,393 Hey, um, I'm really sorry about Chad. 178 00:08:48,442 --> 00:08:51,113 Thanks. 179 00:08:51,654 --> 00:08:55,235 So, do you guys keep in touch at all? Or... 180 00:08:55,491 --> 00:08:58,331 Oh, well, we broke up 17 hours ago. 181 00:08:58,870 --> 00:08:59,960 So... 182 00:09:00,038 --> 00:09:01,327 I'll keep you posted. 183 00:09:01,413 --> 00:09:04,913 ♫ To show the love you lack ♫ 184 00:09:06,586 --> 00:09:11,336 ♫ Even if nobody loves you back ♫ 185 00:09:14,385 --> 00:09:16,005 Hey! 186 00:09:17,389 --> 00:09:19,229 Are you going to the Sadie Hawkins dance? 187 00:09:19,307 --> 00:09:20,346 Oh, wow, really? 188 00:09:20,432 --> 00:09:22,745 You know what, Sarah? I'm think gonna have to think about it, 189 00:09:22,769 --> 00:09:23,808 but thank you for asking. 190 00:09:23,894 --> 00:09:26,315 Actually, I just wanted to warn whoever you end up going with 191 00:09:26,398 --> 00:09:27,727 that you shart during blow jobs. 192 00:09:27,816 --> 00:09:29,775 - That happened one time! - Happened two times. 193 00:09:30,150 --> 00:09:31,990 You said you'd never... 194 00:09:32,070 --> 00:09:35,549 - Dog, you sharted mid-beej? - ♫ Got me ready Why are you taking long? ♫ 195 00:09:42,163 --> 00:09:44,883 All right. Stay in the van. Be cool. I got this. 196 00:09:45,457 --> 00:09:46,587 Hoo-rah! 197 00:09:47,168 --> 00:09:49,918 ♫ Now do it, do it, do it, do it ♫ 198 00:09:52,423 --> 00:09:55,084 What's up? 199 00:09:56,260 --> 00:09:57,260 You got ID? 200 00:09:58,471 --> 00:09:59,721 Blammo! 201 00:10:03,100 --> 00:10:04,650 Hmm... Ranger, huh? 202 00:10:05,769 --> 00:10:07,190 $47.65. 203 00:10:08,648 --> 00:10:10,477 Military discount. 204 00:10:10,567 --> 00:10:14,356 - Stop. Wipe it on your dirty butt. - No! Not on my... Ah! Not on my butt! 205 00:10:14,446 --> 00:10:15,865 You know what? Just keep the change. 206 00:10:15,947 --> 00:10:19,076 You have a great day. No receipt. Heh. 207 00:10:23,078 --> 00:10:27,838 ♫ Djamayo ounalyendé aounana Dougou badia dela ♫ 208 00:10:32,004 --> 00:10:36,884 ♫ Djamayo ounalyendé aounana Mogo gnana djé dela ♫ 209 00:10:40,054 --> 00:10:41,554 That's not funny, man. 210 00:10:42,432 --> 00:10:45,231 Yeah, you're great. Yeah, I'm just gonna put it in there. 211 00:10:45,309 --> 00:10:49,269 All right, guys. Let's get these Snow Mates ready for their cover shoot. 212 00:10:49,355 --> 00:10:52,025 ♫ While they laugh and shake their head Still we coming in ♫ 213 00:10:52,107 --> 00:10:55,738 ♫ Now, love, you lead the way We go, go, go ♫ 214 00:10:55,820 --> 00:10:58,159 ♫ We go, go, go ♫ 215 00:10:58,740 --> 00:10:59,580 Ow. 216 00:10:59,658 --> 00:11:01,488 ♫ Still we coming in ♫ - Here. 217 00:11:01,576 --> 00:11:04,405 ♫ We go, go, go ♫ 218 00:11:04,495 --> 00:11:06,206 ♫ We go, go, go ♫ 219 00:11:07,749 --> 00:11:09,418 ♫ Yeah ♫ 220 00:11:12,086 --> 00:11:13,626 ♫ Yeah ♫ 221 00:11:13,712 --> 00:11:16,842 ♫ Let it play, let it play Let's make it a holiday ♫ 222 00:11:16,924 --> 00:11:18,004 ♫ Yeah ♫ 223 00:11:18,092 --> 00:11:21,062 ♫ Every day, every day A party every way ♫ 224 00:11:21,136 --> 00:11:22,256 ♫ Yeah ♫ 225 00:11:22,346 --> 00:11:24,096 Jeremy, where are you taking us? 226 00:11:24,849 --> 00:11:28,519 We're going deep into Mother Nature's puss... 227 00:11:29,269 --> 00:11:31,649 all the way up past the ovaries. 228 00:11:32,106 --> 00:11:34,106 Whoo! 229 00:11:39,905 --> 00:11:42,025 Kendall gets so wet for this shit. 230 00:11:42,575 --> 00:11:44,745 I'm sure that he does. 231 00:12:07,100 --> 00:12:08,190 Oh, this is it, dogs. 232 00:12:09,351 --> 00:12:10,351 This is base camp. 233 00:12:10,437 --> 00:12:13,187 Fucking finally! Jesus Christ. 234 00:12:15,482 --> 00:12:16,783 Oh, here we go. 235 00:12:17,610 --> 00:12:19,990 Here we go. Oh, what the fuck? 236 00:12:28,163 --> 00:12:29,423 Fuck Chad, right? 237 00:12:29,496 --> 00:12:31,787 Uh, yeah. 238 00:12:31,875 --> 00:12:34,085 High school relationships are bullshit, anyway. 239 00:12:34,376 --> 00:12:36,506 I just feel really embarrassed. 240 00:12:36,962 --> 00:12:37,962 Yeah. 241 00:12:38,798 --> 00:12:40,628 But what if you tried to just... 242 00:12:40,716 --> 00:12:44,177 you know, do something to take your mind off of it, for a little bit? 243 00:12:47,389 --> 00:12:48,730 You could hook up with Sean. 244 00:12:50,058 --> 00:12:54,019 Come on, it might be fun just to hook up with someone that's nice for a change. 245 00:12:54,105 --> 00:12:58,184 Plus, you've always kind of liked him, and he got kind of hot in Germany. 246 00:13:00,653 --> 00:13:02,113 I wouldn't say "hot." 247 00:13:02,864 --> 00:13:05,524 I feel like he finished going through puberty. 248 00:13:08,912 --> 00:13:11,461 - You're blowing it with Becky. - Man, they just broke up. 249 00:13:11,538 --> 00:13:14,288 This is the Rent cast party all over again. 250 00:13:14,375 --> 00:13:16,955 This is not like the Rent cast party. Okay? It's not like that. 251 00:13:17,044 --> 00:13:18,914 Remember what happened at the Rent cast party? 252 00:13:19,004 --> 00:13:21,674 You sat on the couch sipping your Mike's Hard. 253 00:13:21,758 --> 00:13:23,388 Her hand on your thigh. 254 00:13:23,467 --> 00:13:25,427 You were on the couch and you squeezed his thigh. 255 00:13:25,511 --> 00:13:27,721 Then I asked if he wanted to go smoke on the roof. 256 00:13:27,806 --> 00:13:29,596 Wait, yeah, what did he say again? 257 00:13:29,682 --> 00:13:32,272 I told her that I passed on grass. 258 00:13:32,351 --> 00:13:36,442 Which doesn't make any sense because we smoke literally all the time. 259 00:13:36,523 --> 00:13:38,033 They literally smoke all the time. 260 00:13:38,106 --> 00:13:39,826 And then you sat there watching as she left. 261 00:13:40,192 --> 00:13:41,202 I just got up and left. 262 00:13:41,277 --> 00:13:43,947 I told you that I couldn't stand up because... 263 00:13:44,029 --> 00:13:46,909 - Maybe he just had a boner. - I had a boner. 264 00:13:46,990 --> 00:13:48,081 Oh, ew. 265 00:13:48,158 --> 00:13:50,158 Who gets a boner from someone touching their thigh? 266 00:13:50,245 --> 00:13:52,914 You're being cock blocked, literally, by your own cock. 267 00:13:52,996 --> 00:13:54,537 I don't know, man. I can't control it. 268 00:13:54,624 --> 00:13:56,624 She then goes upstairs, makes out with Chad, 269 00:13:56,709 --> 00:13:59,062 and they've been fucking dating till this moment, right now. 270 00:13:59,086 --> 00:14:00,086 The Rent cast party? 271 00:14:00,171 --> 00:14:02,482 That was your chance to be with Becky, and you blew it, dog. 272 00:14:02,506 --> 00:14:04,326 - Yeah, Donnie's right, man. - Thank you. 273 00:14:04,327 --> 00:14:06,759 Musical theater's the ultimate aphrodisiac. 274 00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:09,322 I mean, that's why me and Kendall are composing an R-rated musical 275 00:14:09,346 --> 00:14:11,226 based on the songs of Britney Spears. 276 00:14:11,349 --> 00:14:14,399 Dude, get this, all right? It's called Blonde to Bald to Back Again. 277 00:14:14,476 --> 00:14:16,937 Shit is gonna be so fucking tight, dude. I can't wait. 278 00:14:17,020 --> 00:14:19,020 I mean, you remember Christmas Eve, right? 279 00:14:19,106 --> 00:14:21,986 Dude, when I sang Kendall my "Oops! I Did It Again" solo? 280 00:14:22,067 --> 00:14:25,778 Dude, I had to Urban Dictionary the shit she said she was gonna do to my body. 281 00:14:25,864 --> 00:14:27,274 Oh, dude, I almost forgot. 282 00:14:28,157 --> 00:14:30,236 I got you something, dude. It's for you and Becks. 283 00:14:30,326 --> 00:14:31,865 It glows in the dark and shit. 284 00:14:32,370 --> 00:14:34,620 What? "The Fuck King Condom"? 285 00:14:34,706 --> 00:14:36,745 Yeah. King of fucking, dude. 286 00:14:37,625 --> 00:14:41,085 Or you can go raw, dog. I mean, I'm down to be an uncle. 287 00:14:41,169 --> 00:14:43,509 What? Stop it with the fucking your sister stuff. 288 00:14:43,590 --> 00:14:46,679 I mean, look, as weird as this fucking guy is, he's right about one thing. 289 00:14:46,842 --> 00:14:48,552 Becky's always had a thing for you, dude. 290 00:14:48,635 --> 00:14:50,216 No, that's a 100% conjecture. 291 00:14:50,429 --> 00:14:53,230 I don't know. I'm slow-playing it, okay? 292 00:14:53,307 --> 00:14:55,687 You are no-playing it. Be her rebound, okay? 293 00:14:55,768 --> 00:14:58,607 Take off your practice sweats and crash the fucking boards. 294 00:14:58,687 --> 00:15:00,081 - Yeah. - Play dirty if you have to. 295 00:15:00,105 --> 00:15:03,145 You think I didn't throw a few 'bows to get where I am with Sarah? 296 00:15:03,234 --> 00:15:05,644 What? Where do you think you are with Sarah? 297 00:15:05,736 --> 00:15:06,817 You guys hate each other. 298 00:15:07,654 --> 00:15:08,654 Donnie? 299 00:15:11,491 --> 00:15:12,792 Drink up, bitch. 300 00:15:12,869 --> 00:15:14,408 Oh! 301 00:15:14,495 --> 00:15:15,556 - Snap. - Fuck! 302 00:15:15,580 --> 00:15:16,620 What was that? 303 00:15:16,706 --> 00:15:17,706 Oh! 304 00:15:17,749 --> 00:15:19,338 Why? 305 00:15:19,958 --> 00:15:20,999 Fuck! 306 00:15:21,085 --> 00:15:23,205 Well, nature's great now, but it's still spring break. 307 00:15:23,546 --> 00:15:25,255 - Oh! - And I'm ready to rage. 308 00:15:25,673 --> 00:15:26,802 Let the games begin. 309 00:15:27,008 --> 00:15:30,048 Actually, Sarah, this is a bros trip that you're intruding on. 310 00:15:30,302 --> 00:15:31,602 Indigonanza's our thing. 311 00:15:31,721 --> 00:15:34,681 So I'm gonna be the one who officially starts everything off. 312 00:15:34,765 --> 00:15:35,596 Okay. 313 00:15:35,682 --> 00:15:37,273 - Let... - Indigonanza begin. 314 00:15:39,937 --> 00:15:41,357 Okay. Let... 315 00:15:41,438 --> 00:15:43,292 - Let Indigonanza begin. - Please, this is my thing. 316 00:15:43,316 --> 00:15:46,536 - Guys, it's important to him, so... - Let Indigonanza... 317 00:15:47,946 --> 00:15:48,946 begin. 318 00:15:50,697 --> 00:15:52,738 I liked it better when she said it. 319 00:15:52,825 --> 00:15:56,284 ♫ Turn down for what, turn down for what Turn down for what ♫ 320 00:15:56,370 --> 00:15:58,671 ♫ We don't turn down for what We in VIP, yellin' ♫ 321 00:15:58,748 --> 00:16:00,207 ♫ More bottles, more bitches ♫ 322 00:16:00,291 --> 00:16:02,801 ♫ We all VIP, yellin' More bottles, more bitches ♫ 323 00:16:02,876 --> 00:16:05,086 ♫ We in VIP, yellin' More bottles, more bitches ♫ 324 00:16:05,171 --> 00:16:08,301 ♫ We in VIP, yellin' More bottles, more bitches ♫ 325 00:16:08,383 --> 00:16:10,592 ♫ Hey, more bottles of that rosé ♫ 326 00:16:10,677 --> 00:16:12,846 ♫ More redbones that look like Solé ♫ 327 00:16:12,928 --> 00:16:15,389 ♫ Booty fatter than a burrito From Chick-fil-A ♫ 328 00:16:15,472 --> 00:16:18,062 ♫ I'm trying to take that ass home Like Triple-A ♫ 329 00:16:20,894 --> 00:16:23,014 ♫ You better, you better Listen what the core say ♫ 330 00:16:23,105 --> 00:16:25,275 ♫ Turn down for what Turn down for what ♫ 331 00:16:25,357 --> 00:16:27,988 ♫ Unless you turning her Face down and ass up ♫ 332 00:16:29,403 --> 00:16:30,653 ♫ More bottles, more bitches ♫ 333 00:16:31,614 --> 00:16:33,614 ♫ More bottles, more bitches ♫ 334 00:16:34,033 --> 00:16:36,123 ♫ More bottles, more bitches ♫ 335 00:16:36,661 --> 00:16:38,661 ♫ More bottles, more bitches ♫ 336 00:16:44,293 --> 00:16:47,013 I mean, look at him. 337 00:16:47,087 --> 00:16:49,048 He's just going to town on that trail mix. 338 00:16:49,090 --> 00:16:50,840 Do you still have your bong bear? 339 00:16:50,966 --> 00:16:51,966 Yeah, I do. 340 00:16:52,092 --> 00:16:54,263 Get over there and make a move. 341 00:16:54,721 --> 00:16:56,681 You should fuck my sister. 342 00:16:57,472 --> 00:16:59,994 - I'm gonna go take a piss. - Thanks for letting me know. 343 00:17:00,018 --> 00:17:01,518 - Go get 'em, tiger. - Okay. 344 00:17:01,601 --> 00:17:03,442 - Nice ass. - Okay. Fine. 345 00:17:05,230 --> 00:17:06,280 Hey! 346 00:17:06,857 --> 00:17:09,278 - Quit hogging that trail mix. - Okay. 347 00:17:12,113 --> 00:17:14,373 - Oh... - Coming in. 348 00:17:14,699 --> 00:17:17,999 - Beep, beep, beep. - No, that's enough. Thank you. 349 00:17:22,957 --> 00:17:25,787 Uh, so did you hear about the... the bear thing? 350 00:17:27,002 --> 00:17:28,053 - No. - Yeah. 351 00:17:28,128 --> 00:17:30,219 Here's one right now. Oh! 352 00:17:30,298 --> 00:17:32,087 - Whoa! What? - What? 353 00:17:32,174 --> 00:17:34,174 - It's just a... It's a bong bear. - The bear bong. 354 00:17:34,218 --> 00:17:36,097 Bear bong! 355 00:17:37,387 --> 00:17:41,938 Hey, if you wanted, we could... we could go hot box the tent later. 356 00:17:44,144 --> 00:17:45,515 We could do that. 357 00:17:45,605 --> 00:17:46,855 - I'm free now. - You're free? 358 00:17:47,147 --> 00:17:49,738 Uh, that's kind of perfect, 'cause I'm free. 359 00:17:49,817 --> 00:17:52,277 Yeah, our schedules lined up perfectly. 360 00:17:52,361 --> 00:17:54,070 - Uh, let's go now. - Okay! 361 00:17:54,154 --> 00:17:55,065 - Here we go. - Cool. 362 00:17:55,155 --> 00:17:56,365 Oh, my God. Did you hear that? 363 00:17:56,449 --> 00:17:58,509 Jeremy's talking to himself. Come, on. We gotta go fuck with him. 364 00:17:58,534 --> 00:18:00,403 We gotta go. We gotta go right now. Let's go. 365 00:18:00,619 --> 00:18:02,539 Sorry. 366 00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:03,921 Bye. 367 00:18:04,039 --> 00:18:05,500 This knife is so sharp, 368 00:18:06,250 --> 00:18:07,420 it can cut piss. 369 00:18:09,377 --> 00:18:10,377 Oh, what's that? 370 00:18:10,630 --> 00:18:14,049 - Are you pissing on this endangered fern? - What the fuck is he doing? 371 00:18:14,133 --> 00:18:18,063 Oh, shit, it's an anthill. I'd better get 'em. 372 00:18:18,136 --> 00:18:18,967 Let's get him. 373 00:18:19,055 --> 00:18:21,224 - We approach a wild teen. - You're dead! 374 00:18:34,987 --> 00:18:37,656 - Oh, shit. I think I cut myself. - Did you... Did you just... 375 00:18:37,740 --> 00:18:39,240 Oh, no! 376 00:18:39,325 --> 00:18:41,552 Why... why are you looking down there? Why are you looking down there? 377 00:18:41,576 --> 00:18:43,656 Keep your eyes above... No. What are you doing? 378 00:18:43,746 --> 00:18:45,246 That's not okay. That's... 379 00:18:54,298 --> 00:18:56,387 Where'd my dick go? Did you see my dick, Sean? 380 00:18:56,467 --> 00:18:57,386 Sean, you didn't see it? 381 00:18:57,468 --> 00:19:00,097 What about you, Donnie? Did you see my dick? Did you see my dick? 382 00:19:00,555 --> 00:19:02,424 What is... What is happening? 383 00:19:02,515 --> 00:19:05,384 - I just cut off my dick. - Jeremy, is this a fucking prank? 384 00:19:05,601 --> 00:19:07,320 Don't be stupid. Come on, show me your dick. 385 00:19:07,394 --> 00:19:08,805 I cut off my dick, Becky! 386 00:19:08,895 --> 00:19:13,645 I cut my dick off! 387 00:19:13,817 --> 00:19:15,962 - Oh, my God, it's not a prank. - Help! Help him! 388 00:19:18,029 --> 00:19:19,410 I don't think it'll be okay. 389 00:19:19,490 --> 00:19:21,079 You'll be fine, man. We'll lay you down. 390 00:19:21,159 --> 00:19:22,828 Come on. 391 00:19:22,910 --> 00:19:24,410 Here we go. Put this under his head. 392 00:19:24,494 --> 00:19:27,704 Shit. That's a lot of blood, goddammit! That's a lot of blood. 393 00:19:27,789 --> 00:19:30,685 - I think I'm gonna fucking die. I'm gonna fucking die. - Jeremy's gonna die. 394 00:19:30,710 --> 00:19:34,269 We can all stand here and have a meltdown or we can get our shit together and save Jeremy. 395 00:19:35,213 --> 00:19:36,624 Oh, my God, I'm gonna die! 396 00:19:36,715 --> 00:19:39,675 - We need to call 911, now. - Yeah, get our phones. 397 00:19:39,759 --> 00:19:42,680 - Kendall... theater camp. - My phone's in the van. 398 00:19:43,263 --> 00:19:45,826 - Don't die, dude. - Fuck. I don't have any service. Do you have service? 399 00:19:45,849 --> 00:19:46,993 - I don't. - Fuck. Me neither. 400 00:19:47,018 --> 00:19:48,871 - Yeah, I got nothing. - Fuck. You don't have any service? 401 00:19:48,894 --> 00:19:50,555 Just... Oh, give me one second to think. 402 00:19:50,645 --> 00:19:53,083 Okay. Everybody, I'm going to the top of the ridge. Give me your phones. 403 00:19:53,106 --> 00:19:55,146 Okay. One of them has to have service, right? 404 00:19:55,233 --> 00:19:57,604 - Okay, what's the passcodes? - Um, 3-5-3-2. 405 00:19:57,694 --> 00:20:00,565 69-69, which is pretty ironic now. 406 00:20:00,655 --> 00:20:03,036 - Mine's 0-0-4-7. - 0-0-4-7. 407 00:20:03,491 --> 00:20:04,886 - Go. - What's your passcode, Donnie? 408 00:20:04,911 --> 00:20:06,661 - All ones, dude. All ones. - Okay. 409 00:20:06,746 --> 00:20:10,826 Guys! Hey, guys, in times like these, we... we gotta... Fucking... 410 00:20:10,916 --> 00:20:12,644 - Just go! - Get out of here! 411 00:20:12,667 --> 00:20:15,087 - Yeah, I'm going! - Oh, my God. Okay, Jeremy. 412 00:20:15,378 --> 00:20:18,969 Someone... Someone needs to find the... penis. 413 00:20:19,049 --> 00:20:20,430 - Get my penis. - Okay. 414 00:20:20,509 --> 00:20:21,929 - Get my penis. - Yeah. 415 00:20:22,010 --> 00:20:23,864 Dude, I'm gonna get your fucking peen, all right? 416 00:20:23,887 --> 00:20:25,567 I'm taking this. I'm getting a flashlight. 417 00:20:25,597 --> 00:20:27,878 - I'm gonna go with Donnie. - Yeah, I'll stay with Jeremy. 418 00:20:27,933 --> 00:20:30,662 - It's gonna be okay, right, Becky? It's gonna be good? - It's gonna be okay. Yeah. Yeah. 419 00:20:30,685 --> 00:20:32,788 You're gonna get my dick. I'm gonna get my dick back right? 420 00:20:32,813 --> 00:20:34,272 Yeah, we're gonna find it, for you. 421 00:20:34,356 --> 00:20:37,817 Just for scale, what am I looking for here? Like half this? A... a quarter? 422 00:20:38,361 --> 00:20:40,040 I'm not gonna tell her how big my dick is. 423 00:20:40,112 --> 00:20:42,372 I'm gonna take it as a quarter. 424 00:20:42,656 --> 00:20:44,406 If this doesn't work out, Becky, 425 00:20:45,159 --> 00:20:46,909 - I'm gonna be your sister now. - Okay. 426 00:20:46,993 --> 00:20:48,703 - You already have the hair for it. - Yeah. 427 00:20:52,165 --> 00:20:54,536 Hey! That is a cliff. 428 00:20:54,626 --> 00:20:58,086 All right. Okay. 429 00:20:58,172 --> 00:20:59,801 Nope. All right, come on. 430 00:21:00,508 --> 00:21:02,468 Crap. No, come on! Come on! 431 00:21:02,550 --> 00:21:04,010 Come on! Bars! Bars! We got bars! 432 00:21:04,095 --> 00:21:06,674 We got bars. Oh, baby mama. 433 00:21:06,763 --> 00:21:09,683 All right. I can hear you now. 434 00:21:10,601 --> 00:21:11,651 Fuck yeah. 435 00:21:13,479 --> 00:21:15,068 911, what's your emergency? 436 00:21:15,314 --> 00:21:16,354 Hello! Hello! Hello! 437 00:21:17,066 --> 00:21:20,395 911. I have a medical emergency. I need a medevac pronto. 438 00:21:20,486 --> 00:21:24,776 My friend has lost his penis. He cut it off. I think it was an accident. 439 00:21:24,865 --> 00:21:25,865 Okay. 440 00:21:27,410 --> 00:21:30,250 Okay. Come on. Okay. 441 00:21:30,328 --> 00:21:32,328 Fuck. 442 00:21:32,455 --> 00:21:33,455 Shit! 443 00:21:36,419 --> 00:21:39,919 - If I was a dick, where would I be? - Oh, you are a dick. So, that shouldn't be hard. 444 00:21:40,006 --> 00:21:41,148 Oh, my God. 445 00:21:41,173 --> 00:21:42,192 - What? - Found it! 446 00:21:42,215 --> 00:21:43,215 Where? 447 00:21:43,925 --> 00:21:44,925 Oh. 448 00:21:45,552 --> 00:21:46,603 It's a pine cone. 449 00:21:46,679 --> 00:21:47,888 It's gotta be here somewhere. 450 00:21:47,971 --> 00:21:50,021 I mean, how fucking far could this dick fly? 451 00:21:50,473 --> 00:21:52,594 It could be anywhere within a thousand-foot radius. 452 00:21:52,684 --> 00:21:55,515 Okay, sir, I'm working on triangulating your current location. 453 00:21:55,604 --> 00:21:57,183 Uh... 454 00:21:57,522 --> 00:22:00,573 "Hey, babe, I'm sorry I was an idiot. Where are you?" 455 00:22:01,067 --> 00:22:03,907 "I bailed on Cancun. Are you at your house?" 456 00:22:03,988 --> 00:22:06,173 - Oh, come on. - Okay, we're sending out a medevac helicopter. 457 00:22:06,198 --> 00:22:07,367 Okay, yes. Thank you. 458 00:22:08,366 --> 00:22:11,457 "I want to make this work. I miss you. You're the shit." 459 00:22:15,082 --> 00:22:16,461 Crash the boards, Sean. 460 00:22:18,376 --> 00:22:20,626 Fuck Chad, man. Fuck you. 461 00:22:22,256 --> 00:22:23,546 You're a... 462 00:22:27,553 --> 00:22:28,553 dirty taint. 463 00:22:29,055 --> 00:22:30,055 Fuck, yeah. 464 00:22:32,307 --> 00:22:33,478 Shit. 465 00:22:33,558 --> 00:22:34,558 Send. 466 00:22:37,938 --> 00:22:38,938 Fucking send. 467 00:22:40,106 --> 00:22:42,186 - Send it. Come on. - Did you get a signal? 468 00:22:44,737 --> 00:22:47,027 - Oh! - Sean? 469 00:22:48,656 --> 00:22:50,336 Please tell me that wasn't all the phones. 470 00:22:50,367 --> 00:22:51,367 No, no. 471 00:22:52,494 --> 00:22:55,204 - I mean, yes, it was... - It was. 472 00:22:55,288 --> 00:22:57,749 All the phones. But, hey, hey, I called 911. 473 00:22:57,833 --> 00:23:00,383 I talked to them. They're gonna send a medevac in 30 minutes. 474 00:23:00,877 --> 00:23:02,064 - So... So that's good! - Okay. 475 00:23:02,087 --> 00:23:03,417 - Yeah! - Let's go. Let's go. 476 00:23:03,506 --> 00:23:04,715 That's... All right. 477 00:23:06,258 --> 00:23:08,968 Hold on! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Whoa! 478 00:23:09,053 --> 00:23:10,432 It's a fucking mushroom, dude. 479 00:23:10,762 --> 00:23:13,522 - Everything looks like a dick at night! - What is that? 480 00:23:14,057 --> 00:23:14,887 Hmm? 481 00:23:14,974 --> 00:23:17,474 Is that a piece of coyote scat? Are there coyotes here? 482 00:23:19,188 --> 00:23:20,188 That's not shit. 483 00:23:21,315 --> 00:23:22,474 What do you mean? 484 00:23:22,817 --> 00:23:24,186 That's Jeremy's dick. 485 00:23:24,276 --> 00:23:25,276 Oh, my God. 486 00:23:31,616 --> 00:23:32,616 Damn it. 487 00:23:33,035 --> 00:23:35,404 I'm gonna get some sticks to pick that up with. 488 00:23:37,288 --> 00:23:39,038 The medevac's on its way. 489 00:23:39,125 --> 00:23:40,125 We got the dick! 490 00:23:40,209 --> 00:23:41,709 - Yes. - And Sarah puked on it. 491 00:23:41,794 --> 00:23:43,394 - Donnie! - Sean lost the phones. 492 00:23:43,461 --> 00:23:44,342 - What? - What? 493 00:23:44,422 --> 00:23:46,551 First my dick, and now my 7, Sean! 494 00:23:48,134 --> 00:23:49,423 Is my pee-pee okay? 495 00:23:49,509 --> 00:23:51,720 - Okay. We gotta keep this warm. - Okay. 496 00:23:52,930 --> 00:23:54,430 Where is it? I wanna see it. Where... 497 00:23:54,515 --> 00:23:55,924 Warm it up, baby. Come on. 498 00:23:56,224 --> 00:23:57,724 - Whoa! - What are you doing? 499 00:23:57,809 --> 00:24:00,269 I'm keeping the capillaries open. Stop yelling at me. 500 00:24:00,354 --> 00:24:01,623 You gotta put that on ice, dude! 501 00:24:01,646 --> 00:24:03,834 I don't know. They don't exactly teach you this in health class. 502 00:24:03,857 --> 00:24:08,298 - My dick is on a stick! - Just gotta put it on some ice. Ice, ice! 503 00:24:11,156 --> 00:24:12,156 - Ew! - Ew! 504 00:24:30,718 --> 00:24:32,718 Do you think the helicopter is gonna find us? 505 00:24:35,472 --> 00:24:36,472 I hope so. 506 00:24:37,223 --> 00:24:38,763 Yeah, I do. Yeah. 507 00:24:40,894 --> 00:24:43,974 ♫ I think I did it again ♫ 508 00:24:45,273 --> 00:24:47,854 ♫ I made you believe ♫ 509 00:24:48,443 --> 00:24:51,693 ♫ We're more than just friends ♫ 510 00:24:52,323 --> 00:24:53,623 Is this normal? 511 00:24:53,699 --> 00:24:57,078 It's a song from his Britney Spears musical he's writing with his fake girlfriend. 512 00:24:58,203 --> 00:25:01,324 ♫ Oh, baby, it might... ♫ 513 00:25:01,624 --> 00:25:05,124 ♫ ...seem like a crush ♫ 514 00:25:06,211 --> 00:25:08,511 ♫ But it doesn't mean ♫ 515 00:25:09,632 --> 00:25:13,392 ♫ That I'm serious ♫ 516 00:25:14,345 --> 00:25:20,884 ♫ 'Cause to lose all my senses ♫ 517 00:25:21,059 --> 00:25:25,980 ♫ That is just so typically me ♫ 518 00:25:26,815 --> 00:25:28,894 ♫ Oh, baby, baby ♫ 519 00:25:28,983 --> 00:25:32,523 ♫ Oops, I did it again ♫ 520 00:25:33,364 --> 00:25:36,153 ♫ I played with your heart ♫ 521 00:25:36,659 --> 00:25:39,659 ♫ Got lost in the game ♫ 522 00:25:39,744 --> 00:25:41,704 ♫ Oh, baby, baby ♫ 523 00:25:41,788 --> 00:25:45,749 ♫ Oops, you think I'm in love ♫ 524 00:25:46,626 --> 00:25:49,757 ♫ That I'm sent from above ♫ 525 00:25:49,837 --> 00:25:52,008 - Hey! Look at this! - ♫ I'm not ♫ 526 00:25:52,090 --> 00:25:55,050 - Yes! Yay! - ♫ That innocent ♫ 527 00:25:55,134 --> 00:25:57,924 Over here! Come on! Hey! 528 00:25:58,055 --> 00:25:59,490 - Wait. Where are you going? - Hey! 529 00:25:59,515 --> 00:26:01,535 Oh, my God. It didn't see us. It didn't fucking see us. 530 00:26:01,558 --> 00:26:02,558 Okay. 531 00:26:02,893 --> 00:26:05,613 - This. This'll get their attention. - What are you doing? 532 00:26:05,688 --> 00:26:07,147 Fuck this! Everybody run. 533 00:26:07,230 --> 00:26:09,671 - What is...? Oh, my God. - Oh, my God. What? Yo! Yo! 534 00:26:10,984 --> 00:26:13,065 Get your head down, Jeremy. 535 00:26:13,153 --> 00:26:14,913 Fuck you, Donnie! 536 00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:17,490 Oh... Okay. 537 00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:19,200 Guys? 538 00:26:20,118 --> 00:26:21,749 - What the fuck? - Guys! 539 00:26:23,247 --> 00:26:24,247 Seriously? 540 00:26:24,914 --> 00:26:27,994 Wow, Donnie, I am so impressed. This is some of your best work. 541 00:26:41,390 --> 00:26:42,730 Becky! Becky! 542 00:26:43,851 --> 00:26:47,020 - What the fuck! - Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 543 00:26:47,395 --> 00:26:49,476 Damn, that was dope. 544 00:26:49,565 --> 00:26:50,791 - You okay? - No. 545 00:26:50,816 --> 00:26:52,175 Holy shit. That was crazy. 546 00:26:52,233 --> 00:26:55,104 Oh! Oh, hey! It worked! Hey, we're here! 547 00:26:55,194 --> 00:26:58,575 - Let's get the dick. I got it. Let's go. - Let's go, Jeremy. 548 00:26:58,656 --> 00:27:01,076 Oh, hey! 549 00:27:01,410 --> 00:27:02,789 Hey, guys. Come on! 550 00:27:06,539 --> 00:27:08,380 - Hey, look! Hey! - Hey! 551 00:27:08,459 --> 00:27:09,578 - Hey! - Hi. 552 00:27:09,792 --> 00:27:11,712 Hey! 553 00:27:13,881 --> 00:27:17,221 We'll get him to the East General Hospital, ASAP. 554 00:27:17,300 --> 00:27:21,010 As long as it's within twelve hours, a severed member can still be reattached. 555 00:27:21,096 --> 00:27:22,266 - Yes! - Okay, thank you. 556 00:27:22,347 --> 00:27:24,116 Your friends did a good job. You're gonna be okay. 557 00:27:24,141 --> 00:27:24,980 Thank you so much! 558 00:27:25,058 --> 00:27:27,558 Whose idea was it to set off the fireball? 559 00:27:27,644 --> 00:27:28,855 That was all me, dude. 560 00:27:28,936 --> 00:27:30,267 You're a fucking idiot! 561 00:27:30,355 --> 00:27:32,605 We saw you guys on our initial approach. 562 00:27:32,691 --> 00:27:35,990 Hike down to your car and you can meet him at the hospital. 563 00:27:36,528 --> 00:27:38,657 Okay. Okay, okay. Hey. 564 00:27:38,739 --> 00:27:42,409 You're gonna be okay. Yeah. We're gonna see you at the hospital, okay? 565 00:27:42,492 --> 00:27:45,333 Becky, you need to shut the fuck up. You're wasting time. We gotta go. 566 00:27:45,412 --> 00:27:46,461 Okay, yeah! Yeah! 567 00:27:46,538 --> 00:27:48,417 - He's not gonna die! - He's gonna be fine. 568 00:27:49,500 --> 00:27:52,339 Stay strong, Jeremy! 569 00:27:52,419 --> 00:27:53,798 Bye, Jeremy. 570 00:27:57,257 --> 00:27:59,467 Look. He's reverse-Terminator-ing. 571 00:27:59,550 --> 00:28:00,721 That's epic. 572 00:28:03,681 --> 00:28:05,891 Okay. He's gonna be okay. 573 00:28:05,973 --> 00:28:08,394 Oh, my God. Thank God. 574 00:28:12,230 --> 00:28:14,611 - He's good. - He's good. 575 00:28:20,196 --> 00:28:21,366 Whoo! 576 00:28:43,261 --> 00:28:46,471 - He really lost like a lot of blood. - Yeah, man, I'm covered. 577 00:28:46,557 --> 00:28:49,846 Can I propose a little toast to the first responders? 578 00:28:50,018 --> 00:28:51,768 - Yes. - May the heroes that... 579 00:28:54,021 --> 00:28:56,031 - Guys? - What? 580 00:28:56,191 --> 00:28:58,111 - What? - Guys! 581 00:28:59,068 --> 00:29:00,318 What? Ah! 582 00:29:01,279 --> 00:29:04,240 - What is it? - What? 583 00:29:08,703 --> 00:29:09,703 Sean? 584 00:29:09,954 --> 00:29:12,204 You gave the EMT the wrong cooler? 585 00:29:12,833 --> 00:29:15,383 No! No, no. No way. 586 00:29:15,461 --> 00:29:17,961 - Wait. Wait, we have the dick! - Donnie, no! 587 00:29:18,046 --> 00:29:19,898 - Wait! Come back! - Oh! 588 00:29:19,923 --> 00:29:23,012 - Oh, shit! - The ice... 589 00:29:33,561 --> 00:29:34,902 We have my brother's dick. 590 00:29:35,355 --> 00:29:37,724 With no ice and no phones. 591 00:29:38,192 --> 00:29:41,322 - We have 12 hours, right? - Yeah, I think the EMT meant if it's, 592 00:29:41,403 --> 00:29:42,403 you know, on ice. 593 00:29:42,945 --> 00:29:44,736 Oh, shit! Oh, wait. They... they... 594 00:29:44,823 --> 00:29:46,063 They also told us to hike down. 595 00:29:46,115 --> 00:29:47,801 They probably don't think we're here anymore. 596 00:29:47,826 --> 00:29:50,155 - Shit. - Look, I'm willing to wait and see. 597 00:29:50,244 --> 00:29:52,404 But by that time, Jeremy's dick is gonna be like rotten 598 00:29:52,455 --> 00:29:53,455 and have flies on it... 599 00:29:53,499 --> 00:29:56,219 No, no, no, no, we can't freak out. Don't freak out. Don't freak out. 600 00:29:56,250 --> 00:29:57,250 We'll hike down. 601 00:29:57,544 --> 00:30:01,463 We'll... We'll find someone with ice or a phone along the way. 602 00:30:01,714 --> 00:30:02,964 And worst case, 603 00:30:03,299 --> 00:30:06,759 we'll be back in the parking lot in, like, six or seven hours. 604 00:30:07,679 --> 00:30:08,769 This is gonna work. 605 00:30:11,349 --> 00:30:13,190 Yeah, okay, Becky's right. Let's do this. 606 00:30:13,268 --> 00:30:15,018 This is gonna work. That's a good plan. 607 00:30:16,730 --> 00:30:19,230 Okay, let's leave our shit. We'll move faster. 608 00:30:19,316 --> 00:30:21,516 - Okay. It's gonna be a long way down. - Okay, let's go. 609 00:30:21,692 --> 00:30:22,692 Okay. 610 00:30:25,446 --> 00:30:29,326 Hey, stay with us. Don't head for the light! 611 00:30:29,409 --> 00:30:30,538 Hang in there, buddy. 612 00:30:30,618 --> 00:30:33,209 We got a male. Severed penis. Cut clean to the base. 613 00:30:33,788 --> 00:30:35,288 - Oh, shit. - What? 614 00:30:35,374 --> 00:30:38,124 There's no penis. It's just two cans of Flittson. 615 00:30:38,210 --> 00:30:39,299 My dick isn't in there? 616 00:30:39,877 --> 00:30:42,718 Just cans. There's literally no penis. It's just two cans of beer. 617 00:30:43,006 --> 00:30:47,175 You guys, where's my dick? 618 00:30:52,057 --> 00:30:53,727 I don't think this is a good plan, man. 619 00:30:53,808 --> 00:30:57,121 I told Becky it was. We've been hiking for over an hour, and there's no one out here. 620 00:30:57,144 --> 00:31:00,684 Well, of course it's not a good plan, Sean. There are no good plans in this situation. 621 00:31:00,773 --> 00:31:02,233 Look, um... 622 00:31:02,358 --> 00:31:03,439 - Dude. - What? 623 00:31:03,568 --> 00:31:05,568 - Uh, he texted her. - Who texted her? 624 00:31:05,820 --> 00:31:07,030 - Chad. - What? 625 00:31:07,154 --> 00:31:09,025 When I was calling 911 from Becky's phone, 626 00:31:09,115 --> 00:31:10,445 Chad texted her, 627 00:31:10,534 --> 00:31:11,885 and said he wants to get back together. 628 00:31:11,910 --> 00:31:14,119 - Rent cast party, man. - Yeah, I, um... 629 00:31:15,122 --> 00:31:16,582 Oh, man, I think I fucked up. 630 00:31:16,664 --> 00:31:19,244 I, like, I think I texted him back as her. 631 00:31:20,085 --> 00:31:22,255 Whoa. That is epic. What did you say? 632 00:31:22,336 --> 00:31:25,217 I said, "Fuck you," and then I called him a dirty taint. 633 00:31:25,298 --> 00:31:26,719 Guys! Guys? 634 00:31:27,217 --> 00:31:29,096 We're gonna stop and pee really quick. 635 00:31:29,176 --> 00:31:31,846 Ginger Pablo Escobar, please keep your eyes downhill. 636 00:31:31,930 --> 00:31:33,980 Ha! Hope you pee on your shoes. 637 00:31:34,641 --> 00:31:35,730 People are noticing. 638 00:31:35,808 --> 00:31:37,689 It still looks like you blew Chester Cheetah. 639 00:31:37,769 --> 00:31:39,269 - Oh, shit! - What? 640 00:31:39,605 --> 00:31:41,444 - Is Donnie coming to perv on me? - No, no, no. 641 00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:42,730 Hey, Sean! 642 00:31:43,066 --> 00:31:46,066 Sean, there's a ranger lookout station over there. They might have ice. 643 00:31:46,569 --> 00:31:47,910 Hey, that's good. 644 00:31:47,988 --> 00:31:49,427 That's awesome. Yeah, yeah. Let's go. 645 00:31:49,489 --> 00:31:51,909 - ♫ I'm gonna win for you ♫ - Sorry. 646 00:31:51,991 --> 00:31:55,122 - ♫ Like I know you want me to do ♫ - Over there. Come on. 647 00:31:55,202 --> 00:31:56,623 ♫ Hey! ♫ - Let's go! 648 00:31:57,204 --> 00:31:58,285 Let's go! 649 00:31:59,833 --> 00:32:00,833 Hello? 650 00:32:01,084 --> 00:32:03,294 - Hello, anybody? - Hello? 651 00:32:04,253 --> 00:32:05,713 - Hello? - Hello? 652 00:32:06,213 --> 00:32:08,584 We need some help! It's an emergency! 653 00:32:08,674 --> 00:32:09,835 - Excuse me? - Hello? 654 00:32:09,926 --> 00:32:11,217 - Hello? - Hello? 655 00:32:11,303 --> 00:32:12,353 Is anybody home? 656 00:32:12,429 --> 00:32:14,308 Seems like we have to break into this bitch. 657 00:32:14,388 --> 00:32:15,866 What talking about? We're not doing that. 658 00:32:15,891 --> 00:32:17,618 I don't know, man. This is government property. 659 00:32:17,643 --> 00:32:18,853 I feel like it would be... 660 00:32:18,935 --> 00:32:20,096 a bad idea. 661 00:32:21,020 --> 00:32:22,070 Damn. 662 00:32:23,065 --> 00:32:25,025 But, yeah, you know, this is a time-sensitive case 663 00:32:25,067 --> 00:32:26,817 so, it's a good call. It's a good call. 664 00:32:33,741 --> 00:32:35,372 Mm, it's empty. 665 00:32:35,451 --> 00:32:36,582 Great. 666 00:32:39,998 --> 00:32:42,248 Please have ice. Please have ice. 667 00:32:42,375 --> 00:32:44,455 Oh, dude. No, close that. 668 00:32:46,837 --> 00:32:49,483 All right, well, maybe there's still a phone or radio or something, right? 669 00:32:49,508 --> 00:32:50,798 - Yeah? Yeah. - Yeah. Okay. 670 00:32:56,347 --> 00:32:58,887 Oh, my God! 671 00:32:58,976 --> 00:33:00,516 Oh, my God! 672 00:33:05,272 --> 00:33:06,823 - Oh! - No, no, no. 673 00:33:07,317 --> 00:33:08,957 I think the rattlesnake just bit the dick. 674 00:33:08,986 --> 00:33:11,026 Oh, my God. A snake bit the dick? 675 00:33:11,113 --> 00:33:12,873 We have to get the venom out somehow. 676 00:33:12,948 --> 00:33:14,884 - Yeah. How do we do that? - We have to get it out. 677 00:33:14,907 --> 00:33:17,498 Maybe if we shake it a lot, the venom will just pour out. 678 00:33:17,661 --> 00:33:18,871 No, we have to, uh... 679 00:33:21,832 --> 00:33:23,541 Someone has to suck it out. 680 00:33:27,128 --> 00:33:31,088 It seems only fair to me that the person who's had that dick in their mouth be the one do it. 681 00:33:33,593 --> 00:33:35,563 Donnie, what the fuck are you talking about? 682 00:33:36,346 --> 00:33:39,175 - I'm obviously referring to Becky. - What? 683 00:33:39,266 --> 00:33:43,096 You guys shared a womb together, so obviously at some point in the dark... 684 00:33:43,228 --> 00:33:45,478 - that dick went in your mouth. - This idiot. 685 00:33:45,980 --> 00:33:47,916 - Are you fucking kidding me right now? - Fumbling around. 686 00:33:47,941 --> 00:33:51,570 Donnie, I didn't suck his fetus penis when I was in the womb. 687 00:33:51,653 --> 00:33:53,032 I am his sister. 688 00:33:53,113 --> 00:33:55,073 I am obviously the last person to suck the dick. 689 00:33:55,156 --> 00:33:57,737 - You're sucking before I do. - I'm sucking... 690 00:33:57,826 --> 00:33:59,826 I am not sucking my brother's dick. End of story. 691 00:33:59,911 --> 00:34:02,390 I think it's pretty clear that the women should be the one to suck the dick. We don't even know how to suck a dick. 692 00:34:02,413 --> 00:34:06,124 It's not even the same kind of sucking, you stupid idiot. 693 00:34:06,209 --> 00:34:09,759 - I am not going to do it! - Well, you should do it. Because, this is your all fault. 694 00:34:09,838 --> 00:34:11,878 - Yeah, you should do it. - I'll do it. 695 00:34:12,257 --> 00:34:16,467 I'll do it! I'll do it! I'll suck it! I will suck the dick. 696 00:34:18,722 --> 00:34:19,722 I lost the phones. 697 00:34:20,474 --> 00:34:22,014 I gave them the wrong cooler. 698 00:34:24,101 --> 00:34:25,192 I'll suck the penis. 699 00:34:26,730 --> 00:34:28,780 - It's really cool of you. Thanks. - Yeah. 700 00:34:29,106 --> 00:34:30,106 Just, uh... 701 00:34:31,443 --> 00:34:32,782 I'd like to do it... 702 00:34:33,945 --> 00:34:34,945 alone. 703 00:34:35,530 --> 00:34:36,570 Yeah, you got it. 704 00:34:36,655 --> 00:34:38,365 - I'll tell your story. - Okay. 705 00:34:38,992 --> 00:34:39,992 You're a hero. 706 00:34:40,034 --> 00:34:41,034 Yup. 707 00:34:48,085 --> 00:34:49,085 You da man. 708 00:35:19,074 --> 00:35:20,074 Thanks. 709 00:35:24,579 --> 00:35:26,998 Man, we came all the way up here for nothing. 710 00:35:28,166 --> 00:35:31,585 I really fucked this up. I'm sorry. 711 00:35:32,003 --> 00:35:34,981 So, what now? We're just gonna run down this mountain and pray that J-Tron's D 712 00:35:35,005 --> 00:35:36,565 doesn't fester before we get to the car? 713 00:35:37,675 --> 00:35:39,795 We've only been hiking for three hours. 714 00:35:40,679 --> 00:35:42,518 That means we still have nine hours. 715 00:35:42,597 --> 00:35:45,936 That was before it got bit by a snake. 716 00:35:47,853 --> 00:35:48,853 You guys hear that? 717 00:35:50,813 --> 00:35:52,063 Dude, look! 718 00:35:52,983 --> 00:35:53,983 A drone? 719 00:35:54,733 --> 00:35:56,143 Wait a minute. Wait. 720 00:35:56,570 --> 00:35:57,409 If there's a drone, 721 00:35:57,487 --> 00:36:00,447 that means there's a person, and they probably have a phone. 722 00:36:01,240 --> 00:36:03,701 We should... We should follow it. Let's go get Sean. 723 00:36:04,161 --> 00:36:06,751 Sean! Sean, there's a drone... Oh! 724 00:36:08,123 --> 00:36:10,543 - Don't look at me! - Sorry. Sorry. 725 00:36:10,625 --> 00:36:14,414 Uh, it's just... There's a drone, so there's people, and we need to go like now. 726 00:36:14,503 --> 00:36:16,414 Oh, my God. Yeah, that's great. Okay. Um... 727 00:36:16,505 --> 00:36:20,295 Just... Stop looking. One second. I gotta... 728 00:36:20,385 --> 00:36:22,175 I'm getting a lot of venom out of this thing. 729 00:36:27,434 --> 00:36:28,434 Hey! 730 00:36:31,896 --> 00:36:33,067 Come here! 731 00:36:34,231 --> 00:36:35,231 There. Get it. 732 00:36:35,983 --> 00:36:36,983 Stop! 733 00:36:40,572 --> 00:36:42,871 - Where'd it go? - Does anybody see it? 734 00:36:45,284 --> 00:36:46,614 Oh! There it goes. 735 00:36:47,077 --> 00:36:48,077 I got this shit. 736 00:37:24,324 --> 00:37:26,034 - Sarah! - Oh, shit! 737 00:37:26,117 --> 00:37:26,947 Fuck! 738 00:37:27,034 --> 00:37:29,864 - Oh, my God! Oh! - Fuck! 739 00:37:30,163 --> 00:37:31,833 I got it! 740 00:37:32,539 --> 00:37:35,039 - Are you okay? - Yeah, totally! 741 00:37:35,751 --> 00:37:38,422 - There are people there. They have a boat. - Nice! 742 00:37:38,630 --> 00:37:39,760 Watch this. 743 00:37:41,298 --> 00:37:43,259 Let's get wet! 744 00:37:43,342 --> 00:37:45,012 - Oh, shit. - Oh, my God. 745 00:37:47,097 --> 00:37:49,766 - Holy fuck. - Whoo! 746 00:37:49,849 --> 00:37:50,849 Yeah! 747 00:37:51,226 --> 00:37:52,806 - That was pretty cool. - Yeah. 748 00:37:53,353 --> 00:37:55,023 Yeah. It looks easy. He made it look easy! 749 00:37:55,105 --> 00:37:57,394 - Yeah. Do... do you wanna go next? - Yeah! 750 00:37:57,731 --> 00:37:58,862 Yeah, yeah. No, I'll go. 751 00:37:58,942 --> 00:38:02,282 Hey, I get the feeling that you maybe don't wanna jump. 752 00:38:02,362 --> 00:38:05,572 So, uh, we can try to find a way to hike down. 753 00:38:05,657 --> 00:38:08,197 - No, I wanna... I want to go. - Okay. 754 00:38:08,284 --> 00:38:09,824 Es geht um die Wurst, ja? 755 00:38:09,911 --> 00:38:12,001 Which means "it's do or die" in German. 756 00:38:12,079 --> 00:38:13,920 Actually, the literal German translation is, 757 00:38:13,998 --> 00:38:15,918 "it's all about sausage," which is funny... 758 00:38:16,001 --> 00:38:18,311 Wait, are you making a dick joke right now? We, like, gotta go. 759 00:38:18,335 --> 00:38:19,981 Yeah. Obviously. Yeah, okay. Let's do it, huh? 760 00:38:20,005 --> 00:38:21,106 - Let's do it. - All right, yeah. 761 00:38:21,130 --> 00:38:24,300 I'm not gonna take the long way down, I'm gonna take the Sean way down, huh? 762 00:38:24,384 --> 00:38:26,094 - Oh, shit! - Oh, my God! 763 00:38:26,177 --> 00:38:28,347 - Fuck! Oh, fuck. - Oh! 764 00:38:34,728 --> 00:38:35,768 Yeah! 765 00:38:36,313 --> 00:38:39,282 I'm good! I'm good! Whoo! 766 00:38:41,525 --> 00:38:44,445 So, the "Sean way" is going for 767 00:38:44,612 --> 00:38:47,032 the maximum amount of pain you can inflict on your body? 768 00:38:47,114 --> 00:38:48,945 No, no. Honestly, it didn't hurt that much. 769 00:38:49,034 --> 00:38:52,454 It was actually really fun. I actually... It was a fun ride. 770 00:38:52,536 --> 00:38:53,996 Ooh. Oh, my God. 771 00:38:55,623 --> 00:38:58,043 Dude, uh, your back is like... 772 00:38:58,835 --> 00:38:59,835 red raw. 773 00:39:03,590 --> 00:39:05,590 Oh my... Oh, my God. 774 00:39:05,717 --> 00:39:07,637 Oh, fuck me. 775 00:39:07,719 --> 00:39:08,759 You guys, look. 776 00:39:09,387 --> 00:39:10,387 Huh? 777 00:39:11,597 --> 00:39:14,688 Oh! That's so dumb. 778 00:39:14,768 --> 00:39:18,228 They fucking came back. And we're not there. That's awesome. 779 00:39:18,313 --> 00:39:21,282 Ow! 780 00:39:21,398 --> 00:39:24,818 - Damn it! - All right, man! Jesus. We're all mad. 781 00:39:24,902 --> 00:39:26,742 No, the wind blew against my back. 782 00:39:27,072 --> 00:39:28,411 It's okay. I'm fine. 783 00:39:30,367 --> 00:39:31,367 What? 784 00:39:31,909 --> 00:39:34,909 You guys, come on. Let's... Let's just keep going. 785 00:39:40,251 --> 00:39:43,130 - The helicopter went back to the campsite. - Yes. 786 00:39:43,213 --> 00:39:45,222 - But your friends weren't there. - No. 787 00:39:45,672 --> 00:39:49,603 So, the doctor's gonna need to operate before this gets infected. 788 00:39:49,677 --> 00:39:51,257 Okay. No, my friends, 789 00:39:51,346 --> 00:39:53,715 they'll... they'll get me my penis back. I know they will. 790 00:39:53,806 --> 00:39:58,056 Okay, I know they will, too. If they don't, though, you'll be fine. 791 00:39:58,478 --> 00:40:02,527 We can do a full penal reconstruction using a graft from your forearm or glute. 792 00:40:02,731 --> 00:40:04,112 The results are fantastic. 793 00:40:04,650 --> 00:40:06,201 - Really? - Absolutely. 794 00:40:06,277 --> 00:40:08,277 In addition to increased self-esteem, 795 00:40:08,362 --> 00:40:10,663 most patients report successful ejaculation 796 00:40:10,739 --> 00:40:12,329 in ten percent of sexual encounters. 797 00:40:12,409 --> 00:40:15,248 On a pleasure scale, we're hitting mid-to high-threes. 798 00:40:15,494 --> 00:40:16,534 Is that good? 799 00:40:16,788 --> 00:40:18,288 Those numbers sound bad. 800 00:40:18,748 --> 00:40:21,208 Well, in comparison with not having a penis, 801 00:40:21,291 --> 00:40:22,853 I think those numbers sound pretty great. 802 00:40:22,876 --> 00:40:25,126 Okay. I will wait for my dick. 803 00:40:25,797 --> 00:40:29,047 I have a strong dick. I know it'll last days out in the wild. 804 00:40:29,134 --> 00:40:29,963 No. 805 00:40:30,050 --> 00:40:32,851 Everyone thinks their penis is special. It's not. 806 00:40:32,929 --> 00:40:37,179 Okay? It's like one of these flowers. Right? 807 00:40:37,724 --> 00:40:41,184 If you remove it from the body, cut off its flow of blood, 808 00:40:41,688 --> 00:40:45,648 and then eventually, if left on its own, it will wilt... 809 00:40:46,443 --> 00:40:47,443 and die. 810 00:40:54,367 --> 00:40:55,827 HBO's on Channel 3. 811 00:41:00,623 --> 00:41:02,213 Come on, guys. 812 00:41:03,168 --> 00:41:06,668 I know you're doing whatever it takes to get here as fast as you can. 813 00:41:08,715 --> 00:41:09,795 Hey, Becky! 814 00:41:09,882 --> 00:41:14,353 Hey, don't... don't beat yourself up over the helicopter. 815 00:41:14,429 --> 00:41:17,559 I think you're doing really great. I've always thought you were really great. 816 00:41:17,639 --> 00:41:20,809 Uh, are you forgetting the time you totally rejected me? 817 00:41:21,268 --> 00:41:24,059 That never happened. I don't remember that happening. 818 00:41:24,313 --> 00:41:27,273 Come on. Remember the Rent cast party? 819 00:41:27,733 --> 00:41:30,103 - Kinda made a move. - I... might remember. 820 00:41:31,070 --> 00:41:33,530 I had a momentary crush on you. 821 00:41:36,242 --> 00:41:38,512 - You had a crush on me? - I just thought... 822 00:41:38,536 --> 00:41:40,536 Sean, emergency bro discussion. 823 00:41:40,621 --> 00:41:42,371 - One sec, man. - 911, Sean. 824 00:41:42,456 --> 00:41:44,876 - You better go. Sounds very important. - Sorry. 825 00:41:44,958 --> 00:41:48,259 Sean, Sean, you are not gonna believe what I found in the woods. 826 00:41:48,588 --> 00:41:50,878 Wait till you feast your eyes on these. 827 00:41:52,425 --> 00:41:54,215 What are those? Why do you have those? 828 00:41:54,677 --> 00:41:57,097 When Sarah went behind that big bush to dry off or whatever, 829 00:41:57,179 --> 00:41:58,889 I went after her, 'cause I needed to pee. 830 00:41:58,972 --> 00:42:01,773 Okay, I find those waiting on a rock. 831 00:42:02,309 --> 00:42:03,349 For me. 832 00:42:03,644 --> 00:42:05,014 I knew she came to win me back. 833 00:42:05,103 --> 00:42:09,483 What are you talking? Maybe she just didn't want to wear wet underwear, you psychopath. 834 00:42:09,858 --> 00:42:11,608 That's like serial killer behavior. 835 00:42:11,693 --> 00:42:12,853 Okay, these are a sign. 836 00:42:12,945 --> 00:42:15,985 She wants us to be together. And you know what, Sean? 837 00:42:16,074 --> 00:42:18,034 I'll tell you the truth. I'm ready to forgive her. 838 00:42:18,284 --> 00:42:19,403 Forgive her for what? 839 00:42:19,786 --> 00:42:21,746 Over Christmas break, usual spot, 840 00:42:21,829 --> 00:42:23,224 abandoned church my grandma used to take me to. 841 00:42:23,248 --> 00:42:25,538 Before we start hooking up, I throw around I want a DTR. 842 00:42:25,625 --> 00:42:28,045 - She freaks out. - DTR? 843 00:42:28,126 --> 00:42:29,547 You said you wanted dick to rim? 844 00:42:29,628 --> 00:42:32,418 No. What? I wanted to "define the relationship." 845 00:42:32,507 --> 00:42:34,967 - What the fuck is dick to rim? - I don't know. Butt stuff. 846 00:42:35,467 --> 00:42:37,137 What has happened to you in Germany? 847 00:42:38,429 --> 00:42:41,309 Anyway, I tell her I wanna DTR. 848 00:42:41,516 --> 00:42:43,686 And she's all like, "Relationships are bullshit." 849 00:42:43,768 --> 00:42:45,768 Then I feel like an idiot. I don't know what to do. 850 00:42:45,853 --> 00:42:48,483 So I kick her out of a car... may or may not have been moving. 851 00:42:48,565 --> 00:42:51,105 - Wow, that's really mean. - I also told her... 852 00:42:51,192 --> 00:42:52,782 um, that I never liked her. 853 00:42:52,985 --> 00:42:55,356 - Wow, man. - And she was gaining weight. 854 00:42:59,032 --> 00:43:01,253 Sean! This is a power play. 855 00:43:01,536 --> 00:43:02,536 She wants me back. 856 00:43:02,619 --> 00:43:04,659 Come on, Donnie. The camp's around this bend. 857 00:43:06,498 --> 00:43:08,998 - Hi! Hello. Hey, bud! - Hey, buddy. 858 00:43:09,085 --> 00:43:10,605 - Hey, there. - Hey, hi. 859 00:43:10,670 --> 00:43:12,050 - Oh, my God. - Okay. 860 00:43:12,130 --> 00:43:13,590 - Whoo! - Hey. 861 00:43:14,090 --> 00:43:15,289 I believe this belongs to you. 862 00:43:15,340 --> 00:43:19,221 And I believe you're the bitch that fucked it up! 863 00:43:19,304 --> 00:43:20,423 - What now? - Whoa. 864 00:43:20,512 --> 00:43:22,603 You better have cash to pay for this. 865 00:43:23,056 --> 00:43:25,266 Okay, uh, where are your parents? 866 00:43:25,351 --> 00:43:27,440 My dad went fly-fishing. 867 00:43:27,519 --> 00:43:29,570 What about the boat? Where are the keys? 868 00:43:29,646 --> 00:43:32,067 Because we're in an emergency, and we need some help. 869 00:43:32,190 --> 00:43:36,490 All right. If I'm gonna give you the keys, then I wanna see some stuff. 870 00:43:37,572 --> 00:43:39,702 Okay. 871 00:43:39,782 --> 00:43:42,831 - No. Ugh. - We are not going to show you our boobs. 872 00:43:42,909 --> 00:43:44,000 Bitch, please! 873 00:43:44,369 --> 00:43:46,289 I'm 11, not five. 874 00:43:46,748 --> 00:43:49,168 I've seen thousands of titties. 875 00:43:49,876 --> 00:43:51,626 I wanna see you two scissor. 876 00:43:53,003 --> 00:43:54,083 - Yeah! - Oh! 877 00:43:54,130 --> 00:43:56,880 - Take that, you little perv. Gross. - That is inappropriate. 878 00:43:57,257 --> 00:43:59,137 I'm not helping you with shit! 879 00:43:59,469 --> 00:44:01,219 Stay the fuck away from me! 880 00:44:02,096 --> 00:44:04,556 - Kid's a monster. - Jesus Christ. 881 00:44:05,057 --> 00:44:06,478 I kind of love him, though. 882 00:44:06,684 --> 00:44:08,844 Okay, if we're not outta here in, like, an hour... 883 00:44:08,936 --> 00:44:11,414 - Jeremy will be permanently dickless... - The rest of his life. 884 00:44:11,438 --> 00:44:13,188 That's decades with no dick. 885 00:44:13,690 --> 00:44:15,280 No. We need that boat. 886 00:44:15,568 --> 00:44:17,487 Fuck this little baby Bieber wannabe. 887 00:44:17,862 --> 00:44:19,202 What are you doing? 888 00:44:19,989 --> 00:44:22,789 Listen here, you little terrorist. This is my brother's dick. 889 00:44:23,117 --> 00:44:25,536 He's in the hospital right now, and he needs us. 890 00:44:25,619 --> 00:44:29,000 We need your boat so we can get to the hospital to reattach it. 891 00:44:29,498 --> 00:44:33,088 Listen, kid, when we're around, dicks get cut and dicks get sucked. 892 00:44:33,168 --> 00:44:34,628 I saw him suck this dick. 893 00:44:34,711 --> 00:44:37,302 I sucked that dick this morning. Now, give us the keys. 894 00:44:40,092 --> 00:44:41,092 Yes! 895 00:44:41,344 --> 00:44:45,384 All right, kid. Tell your dad the boat's gonna be at the south campground parking lot, okay? 896 00:44:45,472 --> 00:44:47,483 Jesus, Sean, that dick really fucked him up. 897 00:44:47,557 --> 00:44:49,648 He hasn't said a word since you showed him the dick. 898 00:44:49,726 --> 00:44:51,266 What if he never talks again? 899 00:44:53,313 --> 00:44:55,376 - Whatever. Fuck this kid. - The worst. You know. 900 00:44:55,400 --> 00:44:56,650 Piece of shit, anyway. 901 00:45:00,530 --> 00:45:01,530 Hey, buddy. 902 00:45:03,157 --> 00:45:05,407 Son are... Are you okay? 903 00:45:06,202 --> 00:45:07,621 Dicks get cut. 904 00:45:09,079 --> 00:45:10,869 Dicks get sucked. 905 00:45:13,208 --> 00:45:15,798 - All right. I got you. - Okay. 906 00:45:15,878 --> 00:45:17,757 Good God. Hey! 907 00:45:17,838 --> 00:45:19,838 - Hey! - Oh, shit! 908 00:45:19,965 --> 00:45:23,385 - Oh, my God! Go! - Guys, we gotta go! 909 00:45:23,469 --> 00:45:26,559 - Go! Shit! There's too many keys. - I'm getting the anchor. 910 00:45:26,639 --> 00:45:29,438 Hello, sir, I can completely explain what's going on here. 911 00:45:29,516 --> 00:45:31,396 What have you done to my son? 912 00:45:31,476 --> 00:45:33,197 It's a good thing you're... Okay, fuck this. 913 00:45:33,271 --> 00:45:35,110 I'll kill all of you perverts! 914 00:45:40,445 --> 00:45:42,588 Hey, he has a bruise. Leave him alone. 915 00:45:42,612 --> 00:45:44,123 You're a fucker! 916 00:45:44,197 --> 00:45:46,157 Hit me again. I fucking dare you! 917 00:45:46,242 --> 00:45:49,331 Oh, my God. Ugh. Go. 918 00:45:49,454 --> 00:45:51,204 Let's go! Come on! Move! 919 00:45:51,329 --> 00:45:52,329 I got it! 920 00:45:52,373 --> 00:45:54,003 I'm gonna kill you, son of a bitch. 921 00:45:54,083 --> 00:45:55,172 Back the fuck up! 922 00:45:55,918 --> 00:45:58,007 Oh, fuck. 923 00:45:58,086 --> 00:46:00,836 Oh, God. It's slipping, guys! 924 00:46:00,922 --> 00:46:03,893 Shit! He's Cliffhanger-ing! Oh, hold it, Sean. 925 00:46:04,719 --> 00:46:06,259 Fucker! 926 00:46:06,344 --> 00:46:08,425 - Oh, my God! Oh, my God. - I got it. 927 00:46:11,099 --> 00:46:13,769 - Fucker! - Auf Wiedersehen! 928 00:46:13,853 --> 00:46:15,443 Hey! That's my boat! 929 00:46:15,521 --> 00:46:16,981 Come back with my boat! 930 00:46:17,648 --> 00:46:20,318 - Holy shit. - Whoo! 931 00:46:21,485 --> 00:46:22,815 That was insane. 932 00:46:23,320 --> 00:46:26,070 - That guy tried to murder us. - Yeah. He was crazy. 933 00:46:26,239 --> 00:46:29,789 I mean, in all fairness, he probably thought we molested his kid. 934 00:46:29,869 --> 00:46:32,539 I shouldn't have said, "Dicks get cut and dicks get sucked." 935 00:46:32,621 --> 00:46:33,672 That was too much. 936 00:46:34,873 --> 00:46:36,204 Nice going, pinch hit. 937 00:46:36,626 --> 00:46:39,246 Yeah, thanks. I learned from the best. 938 00:46:41,130 --> 00:46:43,840 When you nailed me in the head with a beer can. 939 00:46:44,300 --> 00:46:46,800 Oh, yeah. That was awesome. 940 00:46:49,889 --> 00:46:54,849 By the way, I got your sign and... message received. 941 00:46:55,061 --> 00:46:56,940 - My sign? - Yeah. 942 00:46:58,731 --> 00:46:59,731 Look familiar? 943 00:47:01,108 --> 00:47:05,157 If I'm wearing your underwear, that means you're not wearing any. 944 00:47:06,030 --> 00:47:07,530 Those aren't my underwear. 945 00:47:08,699 --> 00:47:11,742 - Oh, my... Oh, my God. - Man, that's gross. 946 00:47:11,744 --> 00:47:13,744 - Okay, don't tell anyone. - I... 947 00:47:13,829 --> 00:47:15,960 I really appreciate that you tried. 948 00:47:16,498 --> 00:47:19,378 I think we're actually gonna make it to the hospital in time. 949 00:47:19,460 --> 00:47:21,420 - We're a good team. - Yeah. 950 00:47:22,755 --> 00:47:25,755 ♫ Stop, drop ♫ 951 00:47:25,842 --> 00:47:27,851 - Yeah! - Yeah. 952 00:47:27,969 --> 00:47:29,759 - Oh, yeah. - ♫ Oh ♫ 953 00:47:29,846 --> 00:47:31,846 Time to cooler it up. Whoo! 954 00:47:31,931 --> 00:47:33,981 ♫ That's how Ruff Ryders roll ♫ 955 00:47:34,057 --> 00:47:37,148 - Whoo! Yeah! - ♫ Stop, drop, shut 'em down ♫ 956 00:47:37,228 --> 00:47:39,108 ♫ Open up shop ♫ - Whoo! 957 00:47:39,188 --> 00:47:44,108 ♫ Oh, no That's how Ruff Ryders roll ♫ 958 00:47:44,402 --> 00:47:46,152 Let's find Jeremy and get some ice. 959 00:47:46,237 --> 00:47:48,677 - Get that dick to the hospital! - God! Donnie! 960 00:47:48,739 --> 00:47:49,619 Oh, my God. 961 00:47:49,699 --> 00:47:52,119 It's all crumbed. Like a churro. 962 00:47:52,577 --> 00:47:55,264 - Oh, my God. We made it! - All right, let's get in, go get some ice. 963 00:47:55,288 --> 00:47:56,288 Yes! 964 00:47:57,623 --> 00:47:59,382 ♫ Shut 'em down, open up shop ♫ 965 00:47:59,458 --> 00:48:01,708 Let's go! Let's go! 966 00:48:04,672 --> 00:48:08,302 I have read the literature, and I've come to the conclusion 967 00:48:08,384 --> 00:48:10,793 that I do not fucking want this, okay? 968 00:48:11,177 --> 00:48:12,557 - I don't want a butt dick. - Hey! 969 00:48:13,179 --> 00:48:16,519 Don't you yell at me. I'm not the one who got drunk and... Pfft. 970 00:48:16,601 --> 00:48:19,400 Ob... Obviously, you don't have a dick. 971 00:48:19,478 --> 00:48:21,568 No, I don't have a dick! 972 00:48:21,898 --> 00:48:23,728 No one in this room has a dick. 973 00:48:25,358 --> 00:48:26,358 Right? 974 00:48:26,985 --> 00:48:28,856 - Yeah. - Okay. 975 00:48:35,994 --> 00:48:37,994 Let's hope they're on their way. 976 00:48:42,083 --> 00:48:43,684 Think we should call your parents? 977 00:48:43,753 --> 00:48:45,422 What's your mom's number? 978 00:48:46,130 --> 00:48:47,300 Uh, it's... Uh... 979 00:48:49,215 --> 00:48:50,585 I don't know it. 980 00:48:51,010 --> 00:48:52,760 - At all? No? - No. Mm-mm. 981 00:48:52,844 --> 00:48:56,885 I don't know. I just like, programmed them into my first phone. You know? I was 11. 982 00:48:56,974 --> 00:48:59,554 We can maybe check if they left a message on your phone. 983 00:48:59,643 --> 00:49:01,393 Don't leave a message, just text me. 984 00:49:02,396 --> 00:49:04,646 You have one new message. 985 00:49:04,731 --> 00:49:07,362 Fuck you, Becky. You're the taint. 986 00:49:08,193 --> 00:49:09,813 - Is that Chad? - You hear me? 987 00:49:09,903 --> 00:49:11,130 - Um... - You're the real taint. 988 00:49:11,155 --> 00:49:12,235 I'm glad this is over. 989 00:49:12,614 --> 00:49:14,155 You deserve to be alone. 990 00:49:14,449 --> 00:49:18,079 I want you to take that note I wrote you our four-month anniversary and burn it. 991 00:49:18,161 --> 00:49:19,751 I don't mean any of that shit anymore. 992 00:49:19,829 --> 00:49:20,750 Ah! 993 00:49:20,831 --> 00:49:22,880 You made me so mad, I dropped my vape! 994 00:49:23,250 --> 00:49:26,670 You owe me a new vape, Becky. You hurt my feelings, dawg. 995 00:49:29,590 --> 00:49:31,840 Becky, um, I have to tell you something. 996 00:49:32,134 --> 00:49:33,173 When... Um... 997 00:49:33,510 --> 00:49:37,521 - I'm really sorry, but... - What? No, no. It's not your fault. 998 00:49:38,224 --> 00:49:39,594 It's just really fucked up 999 00:49:39,684 --> 00:49:43,103 how someone you thought cared about you can lie to your face. 1000 00:49:46,065 --> 00:49:47,065 Yeah. Yeah. 1001 00:49:55,907 --> 00:49:58,947 Wow. Damn. Girl, you are a really good driver. 1002 00:49:59,119 --> 00:50:03,320 - Thanks. - God. You're like a young Furiosa. 1003 00:50:14,677 --> 00:50:16,967 All right, man, we gotta get this dick on life support. 1004 00:50:17,054 --> 00:50:18,923 - We need bags and ice. - Oh, my God, dude. 1005 00:50:19,014 --> 00:50:20,724 This looks like a cat shat in a cooler. 1006 00:50:20,807 --> 00:50:22,438 - Oh, shit. - Ugh. 1007 00:50:22,559 --> 00:50:23,849 Should we... Should we clean it? 1008 00:50:23,936 --> 00:50:26,856 I'm fucked if I know. What do you even clean a dick with? 1009 00:50:26,938 --> 00:50:28,358 Doxycycline. 1010 00:50:29,275 --> 00:50:30,275 Or a Z-Pak. 1011 00:50:31,735 --> 00:50:34,155 I've had everything in the book. It works. Trust me. 1012 00:50:34,655 --> 00:50:36,864 Which one of you's is it? You? 1013 00:50:37,992 --> 00:50:38,992 You? 1014 00:50:39,744 --> 00:50:40,824 Or is it the ranger? 1015 00:50:40,911 --> 00:50:44,251 Yeah, actually it is for the... the young, uh, ranger. 1016 00:50:44,331 --> 00:50:46,130 We need stuff to clean his wound. 1017 00:50:46,666 --> 00:50:47,956 A wounded soldier? 1018 00:50:48,501 --> 00:50:50,961 Um... We need to clean his, uh... 1019 00:50:56,302 --> 00:50:57,302 Penis. 1020 00:50:57,635 --> 00:50:59,806 Three inches. Severed at the base. 1021 00:51:00,931 --> 00:51:02,181 I've seen this before. 1022 00:51:02,932 --> 00:51:03,932 You have? 1023 00:51:03,976 --> 00:51:07,556 It would be my honor and a privilege if I could do this for you. 1024 00:51:10,775 --> 00:51:11,855 - Let's do it. - Okay. 1025 00:51:11,942 --> 00:51:13,952 Let's do it! 1026 00:51:15,028 --> 00:51:16,239 All right, let's go. 1027 00:51:16,322 --> 00:51:17,802 He's been in this situation. 1028 00:51:17,864 --> 00:51:20,184 If we're gonna trust someone, it might as well be this guy. 1029 00:51:23,829 --> 00:51:25,079 Whoa, whoopsie. 1030 00:51:49,896 --> 00:51:51,567 His dick's gonna be even better. 1031 00:52:03,409 --> 00:52:04,750 Wow. 1032 00:52:05,704 --> 00:52:07,364 Fresh ice. Good as new. 1033 00:52:08,289 --> 00:52:10,670 Oh, wow. 1034 00:52:11,793 --> 00:52:12,914 That is amazing. 1035 00:52:13,003 --> 00:52:14,242 Yup. 1036 00:52:14,295 --> 00:52:16,545 - Thank you. - My pleasure. 1037 00:52:17,423 --> 00:52:18,423 Good luck, soldiers. 1038 00:52:18,509 --> 00:52:19,929 - Hey, yeah. - Oh, hey. 1039 00:52:20,219 --> 00:52:23,099 If you need anything, this is my card. 1040 00:52:24,472 --> 00:52:27,603 - Let your sergeant know what happened. - Absolutely. Will do. 1041 00:52:27,684 --> 00:52:29,304 Yeah. What the hell's that? 1042 00:52:30,019 --> 00:52:31,190 It's just my wallet. 1043 00:52:32,648 --> 00:52:35,987 - Ow! - Crestview High School. 1044 00:52:36,652 --> 00:52:37,742 Junior. 1045 00:52:39,612 --> 00:52:40,873 The hell's going on here? 1046 00:52:40,947 --> 00:52:43,077 It's just a really old high school ID. 1047 00:52:43,159 --> 00:52:44,199 Says it's from this year. 1048 00:52:44,284 --> 00:52:46,034 - Does it? Mm-hmm. - Yeah. 1049 00:52:46,119 --> 00:52:47,369 - Okay. - Fuck. 1050 00:52:50,331 --> 00:52:53,711 Did you boys lie about being servicemen so you could buy alcohol? 1051 00:52:53,793 --> 00:52:55,623 No. No, absolutely not. 1052 00:52:55,713 --> 00:52:58,632 There is no way we would ever lie. It's... 1053 00:53:02,677 --> 00:53:04,887 Our... Our friend Jeremy, he lied. 1054 00:53:05,514 --> 00:53:08,474 You mean, I just cleaned a civilian dick? 1055 00:53:08,559 --> 00:53:11,059 - I am so, so sorry. - Stay cool, man. 1056 00:53:11,144 --> 00:53:13,014 - Get the hell over here! - Fuck. 1057 00:53:13,105 --> 00:53:14,514 - Go, dude! Go! - Come back here. 1058 00:53:18,693 --> 00:53:20,483 We have got to go! 1059 00:53:21,280 --> 00:53:22,280 Oh, God, he looks mad! 1060 00:53:22,322 --> 00:53:24,163 - Go! - Oh, come on. Okay. 1061 00:53:24,532 --> 00:53:26,543 - Here it is! Unlock! - Unlock the door, Becky. 1062 00:53:26,619 --> 00:53:28,909 - I'm pressing unlock. - Open the door. 1063 00:53:32,208 --> 00:53:34,378 Shit! He's got a fucking bow and arrow! Go! 1064 00:53:34,460 --> 00:53:38,590 The only dicks that I touch are mine and my husband's. 1065 00:53:39,088 --> 00:53:40,219 Go! Shit! 1066 00:53:40,298 --> 00:53:42,929 Go, go, go, go, go, go! 1067 00:53:43,635 --> 00:53:44,545 Hey! 1068 00:53:44,637 --> 00:53:46,637 Go! Go, go, go, go, go! 1069 00:53:46,722 --> 00:53:48,199 - That was crazy. - God. 1070 00:53:48,224 --> 00:53:50,134 Oh, my God. Holy shit. 1071 00:53:50,226 --> 00:53:52,476 Guys, we made it. 1072 00:53:55,648 --> 00:53:57,978 - Oh, my God! - Oh, my God! Holy shit! 1073 00:53:58,067 --> 00:53:59,067 Fuck you! 1074 00:53:59,485 --> 00:54:01,065 Yeah, fuck you! 1075 00:54:01,152 --> 00:54:03,163 - Holy fuck! Are you okay? - Ow... 1076 00:54:03,280 --> 00:54:05,579 You look okay. Looks like just the tip went in. 1077 00:54:05,657 --> 00:54:08,157 Come on, Donnie. I thought you love just the tip. 1078 00:54:08,244 --> 00:54:10,114 Fuck, that's really funny, but not right now. 1079 00:54:13,206 --> 00:54:16,286 Did you say Kendall Jenners? With an S? 1080 00:54:16,376 --> 00:54:18,836 We're supposed to meet for the first time this summer. 1081 00:54:18,920 --> 00:54:21,510 That name is like Catfishing 101. 1082 00:54:21,590 --> 00:54:22,650 Why does everyone keeps saying that? 1083 00:54:22,675 --> 00:54:24,693 She likes to text. She doesn't like talking on the phone. 1084 00:54:24,717 --> 00:54:26,257 That is definitely a catfish. 1085 00:54:26,844 --> 00:54:28,965 Okay, look. Anyway, if I'm gonna die, 1086 00:54:30,014 --> 00:54:33,344 I need her to know... that I love her. 1087 00:54:33,434 --> 00:54:36,434 You're not gonna die. You just won't have a penis. 1088 00:54:36,521 --> 00:54:38,442 I'd rather die than not have my penis. 1089 00:54:38,523 --> 00:54:39,934 We've waited all day. 1090 00:54:40,108 --> 00:54:41,898 It's been almost 12 hours. 1091 00:54:41,985 --> 00:54:43,735 We haven't heard anything from your friends. 1092 00:54:43,820 --> 00:54:46,161 - Yeah, but there's still time. - Nah. 1093 00:54:46,447 --> 00:54:49,157 Look at the flower. Look. It still has most of its petals. 1094 00:54:49,784 --> 00:54:52,284 What? No. Dude... The flower... 1095 00:54:52,621 --> 00:54:54,041 that was an example. 1096 00:54:54,123 --> 00:54:57,713 Did you think that that flower was magically linked to your penis? 1097 00:54:59,670 --> 00:55:01,840 This isn't Beauty and the Beast. 1098 00:55:01,922 --> 00:55:05,722 But me and my friends are fucking idiots. They're gonna need more time. 1099 00:55:05,800 --> 00:55:07,800 Honestly, it's not looking good. 1100 00:55:08,012 --> 00:55:11,472 So, let's just hope your friends are arriving right now. 1101 00:55:17,478 --> 00:55:20,318 Hi! Hi! We're here for Jeremy Abelar. 1102 00:55:20,815 --> 00:55:23,025 We have a... a special delivery. 1103 00:55:23,402 --> 00:55:25,242 Uh, one moment. 1104 00:55:25,445 --> 00:55:27,315 - Abelar? Abelar. - Abelar. Yes. 1105 00:55:27,447 --> 00:55:28,907 A-B-Oh... Ooh... 1106 00:55:28,990 --> 00:55:31,161 I just gotta go back here. 1107 00:55:31,242 --> 00:55:33,333 That's it. 1108 00:55:33,746 --> 00:55:35,576 Ah! Yep. 1109 00:55:35,914 --> 00:55:37,664 Ah, we don't have a patient under that name. 1110 00:55:38,083 --> 00:55:41,713 Uh, the helicopter EMT said they would be bringing him here. 1111 00:55:41,795 --> 00:55:43,554 I don't know what to tell you. He's not here. 1112 00:55:43,588 --> 00:55:44,918 They sometimes reroute medevacs. 1113 00:55:45,007 --> 00:55:47,217 I'd try Clarkson Memorial. They have a helipad. 1114 00:55:53,599 --> 00:55:55,139 Fu... 1115 00:56:00,105 --> 00:56:01,105 ck! 1116 00:56:01,231 --> 00:56:03,400 Let's go. 1117 00:56:06,362 --> 00:56:07,362 Go, go, go, go, go! 1118 00:56:09,614 --> 00:56:11,364 Everybody, listen up! 1119 00:56:11,617 --> 00:56:13,697 There is a penis in this cooler! 1120 00:56:13,786 --> 00:56:15,496 Are we in the right place or what? 1121 00:56:15,704 --> 00:56:16,744 Is that the penis? 1122 00:56:16,829 --> 00:56:18,170 - Yes! Yes! - Thank God. Yes. 1123 00:56:18,456 --> 00:56:20,706 Oh! We didn't think you guys were gonna make it. 1124 00:56:21,376 --> 00:56:23,547 The penis is here! 1125 00:56:23,836 --> 00:56:26,626 Page the anesthesiologist. I want to get into surgery immediately. 1126 00:56:26,715 --> 00:56:28,545 - Yes! - Hey! 1127 00:56:30,719 --> 00:56:31,809 You guys did good. 1128 00:56:32,679 --> 00:56:34,599 Ooh! Also, it got bit by a snake. 1129 00:56:34,889 --> 00:56:37,980 I sucked it pretty good, but you should still check for venom. 1130 00:56:41,730 --> 00:56:42,730 Prep the OR! 1131 00:56:42,815 --> 00:56:43,894 Goddamn hero. 1132 00:56:44,358 --> 00:56:47,148 Yes! 1133 00:56:47,235 --> 00:56:49,525 - Yes! Oh, God. - Ow! Oh, ow! 1134 00:56:49,612 --> 00:56:52,083 - Someone's thumb went in my hole. - You okay? 1135 00:57:00,833 --> 00:57:03,172 You can scoot closer. 1136 00:57:04,128 --> 00:57:05,958 You're kind of far away. 1137 00:57:06,045 --> 00:57:07,255 Yeah. 1138 00:57:11,969 --> 00:57:14,139 Hey, thank you for your shirt, also, by the way. 1139 00:57:14,221 --> 00:57:15,561 Oh, yeah, no problem. 1140 00:57:15,639 --> 00:57:18,389 - It's comfortable. It smells good. - Looks great on you. 1141 00:57:18,474 --> 00:57:19,474 Thanks. 1142 00:57:27,192 --> 00:57:29,282 Hey, um, you know what? Uh... 1143 00:57:30,862 --> 00:57:34,242 Remember at the Rent cast party? 1144 00:57:35,617 --> 00:57:39,327 - Mm-hmm? - I actually had a crush on you, too. 1145 00:57:46,836 --> 00:57:47,836 You... you did? 1146 00:57:49,422 --> 00:57:50,422 Yeah. 1147 00:57:50,882 --> 00:57:53,472 Yeah, also momentarily. 1148 00:57:54,802 --> 00:57:55,972 - Um... - Right. 1149 00:57:56,847 --> 00:57:57,847 Yeah, I mean... 1150 00:57:58,389 --> 00:57:59,480 I don't know. 1151 00:58:05,813 --> 00:58:07,353 Wow, the Fuck King? 1152 00:58:08,483 --> 00:58:11,143 The Fuck... Are you the Fuck King? 1153 00:58:11,820 --> 00:58:14,070 Uh, no, that's not me. I'm not the Fuck King. 1154 00:58:14,572 --> 00:58:16,583 - Just a fuck prince. - I wouldn't even... 1155 00:58:16,992 --> 00:58:18,411 I think I'm more of a jester. 1156 00:58:18,494 --> 00:58:19,693 - You're a fuck jester. - Yeah. 1157 00:58:20,036 --> 00:58:21,286 That's... that's more fun. 1158 00:58:21,788 --> 00:58:24,418 You wanted to use it at the hospital here? 1159 00:58:24,958 --> 00:58:26,338 Well... Um... 1160 00:58:28,920 --> 00:58:32,721 Jeremy actually gave it to me to use with you. 1161 00:58:33,592 --> 00:58:36,181 - And I said, "That's crazy." - That's really weird. 1162 00:58:36,260 --> 00:58:38,681 - I'm on the same page. It's weird. - I'm his sister. 1163 00:58:38,764 --> 00:58:40,094 So it's not really mine. 1164 00:58:40,181 --> 00:58:42,271 - Ew! Ew! - I know! I know! 1165 00:58:42,976 --> 00:58:44,226 - Why? - Yeah. 1166 00:58:44,393 --> 00:58:46,474 - The Fuck King? Come on. - I know. It's weird. 1167 00:58:46,938 --> 00:58:50,278 I mean, it's not like you still have a crush on me. 1168 00:58:53,695 --> 00:58:54,974 Do you still have a crush on me? 1169 00:58:58,492 --> 00:58:59,661 - Excuse me. - Wha... 1170 00:58:59,742 --> 00:59:01,833 Come with me. The doctor would like to see you. 1171 00:59:01,954 --> 00:59:04,414 - Okay, yeah, great. Let's go. - Yeah, let's go. 1172 00:59:04,498 --> 00:59:07,338 Um... Donnie. Hey. 1173 00:59:08,085 --> 00:59:09,664 The doctor wants to see us. Let's go. 1174 00:59:10,086 --> 00:59:12,007 - Okay. - Were you just... 1175 00:59:12,088 --> 00:59:13,298 God damn. 1176 00:59:15,842 --> 00:59:17,512 - Sean. Let's go. - Yeah. 1177 00:59:18,512 --> 00:59:21,561 Yeah. Yeah, I'm on my... Yeah, I'm on my way. 1178 00:59:23,684 --> 00:59:25,264 - What's your problem? - Nothing. 1179 00:59:25,351 --> 00:59:28,271 I lost something. I can't remember... 1180 00:59:28,813 --> 00:59:29,813 if I... 1181 00:59:30,940 --> 00:59:33,400 - Sean, do you have a boner? - I don't have a boner. 1182 00:59:33,485 --> 00:59:34,985 Just my back hurts, and... 1183 00:59:35,487 --> 00:59:36,487 So... 1184 00:59:36,780 --> 00:59:40,449 basically every time you touch Sean, he gets a raging bonie. 1185 00:59:42,327 --> 00:59:44,907 See? I told you. You give him boners. 1186 00:59:44,996 --> 00:59:45,996 What? 1187 00:59:47,123 --> 00:59:48,244 I don't have a bonie. 1188 00:59:51,628 --> 00:59:52,628 Did you just fart? 1189 00:59:52,670 --> 00:59:53,670 No, it was the seat. 1190 00:59:53,755 --> 00:59:56,085 Oh, my God. Do you have the farts and a boner? 1191 00:59:56,173 --> 01:00:00,554 - I don't have farts or a boner. (SCOFFS) - One of those is definitely a lie. 1192 01:00:00,637 --> 01:00:03,927 - Let's... You got it. You got it. - Do you, buddy. 1193 01:00:04,557 --> 01:00:06,188 - Thank you. - Shocking, man. 1194 01:00:06,351 --> 01:00:07,351 Thanks. 1195 01:00:19,239 --> 01:00:21,949 Good news. Surgery went perfectly. 1196 01:00:22,034 --> 01:00:23,324 Oh, my God. 1197 01:00:23,409 --> 01:00:25,000 Well, not perfectly. 1198 01:00:25,077 --> 01:00:26,867 But as good as we could have hoped. 1199 01:00:27,164 --> 01:00:30,333 We have a successful reattachment, and your friend's gonna be fine. 1200 01:00:30,958 --> 01:00:32,708 What about the snake venom? 1201 01:00:33,085 --> 01:00:34,416 There was no venom in the penis. 1202 01:00:34,963 --> 01:00:36,672 Yeah, man. You sucked that shit out. 1203 01:00:36,757 --> 01:00:38,757 No. 1204 01:00:38,842 --> 01:00:41,931 - There was never any venom in the penis. - Huh? 1205 01:00:42,094 --> 01:00:44,385 It's impossible to suck venom out of a bite wound. 1206 01:00:45,474 --> 01:00:46,724 It was a defensive bite. 1207 01:00:47,059 --> 01:00:48,059 Whatever, man. 1208 01:00:48,143 --> 01:00:50,773 - Don't listen to him. He doesn't know shit. - Yeah. 1209 01:00:50,853 --> 01:00:52,393 Right. I'm just a doctor. 1210 01:00:52,938 --> 01:00:56,489 Anyway, your friend whose dick you sucked for no reason 1211 01:00:56,568 --> 01:00:59,858 is gonna be under a bit longer from the anesthesia, but you can go in and see him. 1212 01:00:59,945 --> 01:01:02,365 Sure he'd love to wake up to some friendly faces. 1213 01:01:04,076 --> 01:01:05,076 Salty. 1214 01:01:09,039 --> 01:01:10,039 Here we go. All right. 1215 01:01:11,583 --> 01:01:12,922 Let's do it. 1216 01:01:24,804 --> 01:01:25,925 Who's this? 1217 01:01:28,474 --> 01:01:30,304 Um, hi, excuse me. Nurse. 1218 01:01:30,434 --> 01:01:33,974 The doctor told us the wrong room. We're looking for Jeremy Abelar. 1219 01:01:34,188 --> 01:01:36,398 Jeremy... Abelar. 1220 01:01:37,400 --> 01:01:40,110 No, we don't have a Jeremy Abelar in recovery. 1221 01:01:40,195 --> 01:01:43,235 The doctor told us that he transferred from surgery. 1222 01:01:43,322 --> 01:01:46,123 Let's make this simpler. It's the guy that got his wiener reattached. 1223 01:01:46,201 --> 01:01:48,581 Yeah. That's him. Reginald Knudson. 1224 01:01:48,954 --> 01:01:51,114 - No, no, no. - The other person for a severed penis. 1225 01:01:51,206 --> 01:01:52,206 Yeah. 1226 01:01:53,083 --> 01:01:57,092 If there was somebody else here with a severed penis, trust me, I'd know about it. 1227 01:01:57,170 --> 01:01:58,340 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 1228 01:01:58,422 --> 01:02:02,141 If... if Jeremy's not here, then... 1229 01:02:02,842 --> 01:02:05,143 We gave someone else Jeremy's penis. 1230 01:02:05,721 --> 01:02:06,721 What? 1231 01:02:07,597 --> 01:02:08,927 That's our friend's dick? 1232 01:02:09,432 --> 01:02:10,693 That's our friend's dick. 1233 01:02:10,766 --> 01:02:13,396 - That's our friend's dick! Oh, my God. - That right? 1234 01:02:13,478 --> 01:02:15,568 - What kind of fucking hospital is this? - Security! 1235 01:02:18,190 --> 01:02:20,240 You have my friend's penis. 1236 01:02:20,318 --> 01:02:22,657 Hang on for one second. It's a simple mistake. 1237 01:02:22,737 --> 01:02:25,867 It's an honest mistake, I'm sure. But you guys have the wrong penis, okay? 1238 01:02:25,949 --> 01:02:27,619 You have the wrong penis and... 1239 01:02:28,994 --> 01:02:31,574 You all saw that! You're witnesses! 1240 01:02:31,746 --> 01:02:33,166 - Are you okay? - That's a felony! 1241 01:02:33,248 --> 01:02:36,088 All right, we need to figure out if there's a head of the hospital 1242 01:02:36,168 --> 01:02:38,378 and explain the situation and see if... 1243 01:02:38,461 --> 01:02:41,092 And what? They'll just grow him another dick 1244 01:02:41,172 --> 01:02:42,932 with their magic dick-making machine, Sean? 1245 01:02:44,342 --> 01:02:47,681 - I'm not just gonna give up. - You have no idea where Jeremy is. 1246 01:02:48,346 --> 01:02:49,596 It's pretty obvious we're done. 1247 01:02:49,681 --> 01:02:50,731 That's awesome, Donnie. 1248 01:02:50,806 --> 01:02:53,244 Sarah, I'm sorry. But, can you tell your boyfriend or whatever he is 1249 01:02:53,268 --> 01:02:55,608 to stop throwing a little baby boy tantrum right now. 1250 01:02:57,146 --> 01:02:59,936 Maybe I should be more like you. Right? Manipulate things. 1251 01:03:00,025 --> 01:03:03,644 Make 'em go my way. Kinda like what you did with the medevac. 1252 01:03:04,028 --> 01:03:06,068 - Shut the fuck up. - What are you talking about? 1253 01:03:06,197 --> 01:03:09,657 Uh, while your brother was lying there, maybe about to die, uh... 1254 01:03:10,409 --> 01:03:13,539 Sean was pretending to be you and texting Chad from your phone. 1255 01:03:14,998 --> 01:03:15,998 Sean. 1256 01:03:16,541 --> 01:03:17,880 Sea... Sean? 1257 01:03:18,585 --> 01:03:19,795 Are you serious? 1258 01:03:20,295 --> 01:03:23,255 - You... - It was... It was an accident. I was... 1259 01:03:23,340 --> 01:03:25,969 How is texting my boyfriend as me an accident? 1260 01:03:26,050 --> 01:03:27,778 You guys weren't even technically together at that time. 1261 01:03:27,802 --> 01:03:30,393 What? What? What did you say? What did you say to him? 1262 01:03:31,597 --> 01:03:35,018 I said, "Fuck you. We're done." And then I called him "dirty taint." 1263 01:03:36,644 --> 01:03:37,474 Wow. 1264 01:03:37,561 --> 01:03:39,572 - Yeah. - Um, okay. 1265 01:03:39,773 --> 01:03:41,532 The... the voicemail? 1266 01:03:43,108 --> 01:03:45,199 The voicemail he sent me. 1267 01:03:46,445 --> 01:03:49,275 I, um... I need to... I need to go. 1268 01:03:50,074 --> 01:03:52,824 - I'm sorry. I need to borrow your phone. - No. What the hell? 1269 01:03:52,911 --> 01:03:54,710 You do not want to fuck with me right now! 1270 01:03:56,581 --> 01:03:58,960 Just messaging Chad and telling him to pick me up. 1271 01:03:59,041 --> 01:04:00,382 Becky... 1272 01:04:04,672 --> 01:04:06,222 Of course, he's online. Okay. 1273 01:04:06,298 --> 01:04:07,889 He's coming to pick me up. 1274 01:04:08,300 --> 01:04:09,300 Thank you. 1275 01:04:09,927 --> 01:04:10,927 Sarah, let's go. 1276 01:04:18,311 --> 01:04:21,481 Becky! Becky! 1277 01:04:21,565 --> 01:04:22,605 Becky. 1278 01:04:24,650 --> 01:04:26,320 Use the twin connection. 1279 01:04:27,528 --> 01:04:28,528 Find me. 1280 01:04:28,822 --> 01:04:32,242 If you can hear me, but please hurry up and come and save me. 1281 01:04:33,367 --> 01:04:34,197 Becky! 1282 01:04:34,286 --> 01:04:36,496 Nope, it's me Darlene. Hello. 1283 01:04:36,621 --> 01:04:38,371 Um, so... 1284 01:04:38,456 --> 01:04:40,416 we got you an operating room. 1285 01:04:40,500 --> 01:04:41,670 I'm telling you, lady. 1286 01:04:42,001 --> 01:04:43,172 My friends are close. 1287 01:04:43,503 --> 01:04:45,882 And I'm telling you, it doesn't matter if they're close. 1288 01:04:45,963 --> 01:04:50,844 By now, unless your penis somehow got fresh, oxygenated blood in it, 1289 01:04:52,429 --> 01:04:53,429 it's dead. 1290 01:04:53,597 --> 01:04:57,556 No, no, no, no! Don't. 1291 01:04:57,641 --> 01:04:58,641 Oh, my God. 1292 01:04:59,101 --> 01:05:02,822 There's no point in waiting any longer for trash to arrive. 1293 01:05:03,188 --> 01:05:05,358 Okay, fine. 1294 01:05:06,318 --> 01:05:07,777 Let's do the butt-skin dick. 1295 01:05:07,860 --> 01:05:09,911 A graft is no longer an option. 1296 01:05:09,987 --> 01:05:11,527 - What? - Do you smell that? 1297 01:05:11,614 --> 01:05:14,324 You know we don't serve blue cheese in the cafeteria, right? 1298 01:05:14,409 --> 01:05:15,489 That... that is... 1299 01:05:16,244 --> 01:05:17,284 That's your hole. 1300 01:05:17,829 --> 01:05:18,829 I'm sorry. 1301 01:05:19,831 --> 01:05:22,041 The anesthesiologist will be in shortly. 1302 01:05:26,170 --> 01:05:27,920 Wow. So this is really happening. 1303 01:05:32,092 --> 01:05:34,052 I can't believe I shat on your chances with Becky. 1304 01:05:34,137 --> 01:05:37,726 Yeah, it's my own fault. I'm a fucking idiot. 1305 01:05:38,141 --> 01:05:39,351 Uh, no. 1306 01:05:40,559 --> 01:05:44,570 Also, I'm really sorry I started the rumor about you going to rehab for bath salts. 1307 01:05:45,065 --> 01:05:46,065 What? That was you? 1308 01:05:46,190 --> 01:05:49,201 I feel like we both now know I have problems with abandonment. 1309 01:05:49,277 --> 01:05:50,463 - Yep. - Man, I still can't believe 1310 01:05:50,487 --> 01:05:52,157 I found a dick in the sewer. 1311 01:05:52,447 --> 01:05:55,527 Believe it, young'un. You just got your dick cherry popped. 1312 01:05:55,617 --> 01:05:56,827 Gonna need a new cooler. 1313 01:05:57,702 --> 01:05:58,862 - Fuck. - Dude. 1314 01:05:58,911 --> 01:06:02,211 - Yo. Yo, yo, yo. - They have the redneck's dick. 1315 01:06:02,873 --> 01:06:03,873 If... 1316 01:06:04,708 --> 01:06:06,298 we can get it to the doctor... 1317 01:06:07,086 --> 01:06:11,507 then the doctor can reattach it and we can get Jeremy's penis back. 1318 01:06:11,840 --> 01:06:13,521 We haven't been good friends to each other. 1319 01:06:13,550 --> 01:06:15,851 - I feel like I've been a good friend... - But... 1320 01:06:15,971 --> 01:06:17,811 we can be best friends for Jeremy. 1321 01:06:18,722 --> 01:06:19,722 Let's do it. 1322 01:06:31,695 --> 01:06:32,695 Hey, man. 1323 01:06:33,278 --> 01:06:34,409 Who the hell are you? 1324 01:06:35,322 --> 01:06:37,952 - I said no visitors. - Uh, I'm really sorry. 1325 01:06:38,367 --> 01:06:40,788 There's something that you should know about... 1326 01:06:41,746 --> 01:06:42,865 your penis. 1327 01:06:43,206 --> 01:06:45,706 Er, I mean, it's not your penis... 1328 01:06:46,291 --> 01:06:48,172 You have our friend Jeremy's penis. 1329 01:06:48,836 --> 01:06:50,277 What the hell are you talking about? 1330 01:06:50,338 --> 01:06:52,838 - They put our friend's penis on you. - Yes, they did. 1331 01:06:53,967 --> 01:06:57,047 Like, not like when I was out, they put your friend's dick on my face... 1332 01:06:57,177 --> 01:07:00,177 I don't know, maybe that happened. But then they sewed it on you. 1333 01:07:03,351 --> 01:07:06,481 You're gonna see right away it's our friend Jeremy's penis. 1334 01:07:07,230 --> 01:07:09,610 Oh, my God. 1335 01:07:10,400 --> 01:07:11,400 That is not my dick. 1336 01:07:11,483 --> 01:07:13,233 That's not your dick. It's what I said. 1337 01:07:13,318 --> 01:07:15,909 Why? Why? Why is it so ugly? 1338 01:07:15,989 --> 01:07:17,528 - Yeah. - Oh, my God. 1339 01:07:17,865 --> 01:07:20,115 Where did they find this? A little Navajo boy? 1340 01:07:20,201 --> 01:07:21,451 It's a normal-looking dick. 1341 01:07:21,536 --> 01:07:23,576 Once the swelling goes down, it's gonna get smaller? 1342 01:07:23,663 --> 01:07:26,882 Are you fucking kidding me? How am I supposed to work with this? 1343 01:07:27,666 --> 01:07:30,706 Ugh. You two again? Hey! Am I gonna have to call security? 1344 01:07:30,795 --> 01:07:32,625 Oh, hey, it's Dr. Malpractice. 1345 01:07:32,755 --> 01:07:35,295 Guess what? You sewed the wrong dick onto the wrong body. 1346 01:07:35,382 --> 01:07:37,820 If you don't want us to fuck your world up, you're gonna have to listen. 1347 01:07:37,844 --> 01:07:41,134 Two water sanitation workers just came into the hospital with his dick. 1348 01:07:41,431 --> 01:07:43,351 - What? My real penis is here? - Yeah, man. 1349 01:07:43,432 --> 01:07:45,563 What we need you to do is reattach 'em. 1350 01:07:45,893 --> 01:07:49,764 Guys... You don't just pop 'em on and off. 1351 01:07:49,856 --> 01:07:51,606 It's a delicate operation. 1352 01:07:52,108 --> 01:07:53,487 It's not a fucking LEGO set. 1353 01:07:54,068 --> 01:07:56,318 That dick is staying on that body. 1354 01:07:56,905 --> 01:07:59,614 Are you trying to tell me that I'm stuck with this... 1355 01:08:00,784 --> 01:08:02,614 - this thing? - Hey, man. 1356 01:08:03,036 --> 01:08:04,036 That thing... 1357 01:08:04,661 --> 01:08:05,791 that fucking thing... 1358 01:08:06,623 --> 01:08:09,503 belonged to a goddamn majestic person. 1359 01:08:09,876 --> 01:08:11,335 And you need to respect 1360 01:08:11,418 --> 01:08:14,628 that you got a part of my friend on you now forever. 1361 01:08:15,422 --> 01:08:17,052 Okay? You got a piece of Jeremy. 1362 01:08:17,509 --> 01:08:18,639 It's a good dick. 1363 01:08:20,595 --> 01:08:22,465 You need to honor that penis. 1364 01:08:22,555 --> 01:08:26,685 And bring it as much joy as Jeremy brings us 1365 01:08:26,768 --> 01:08:28,688 every time you take it out. 1366 01:08:28,770 --> 01:08:31,270 Because it belonged to a great dude. 1367 01:08:31,355 --> 01:08:32,355 The best. 1368 01:08:33,483 --> 01:08:35,903 You guys seem like some really good friends. 1369 01:08:37,945 --> 01:08:39,626 I wish I would have listened to my buddies 1370 01:08:39,697 --> 01:08:42,327 when they told me that Cheryl was a psycho bitch. 1371 01:08:42,699 --> 01:08:44,100 Never would have let her tie me up. 1372 01:08:44,452 --> 01:08:46,412 I thought she just wanted to get freaky. 1373 01:08:46,496 --> 01:08:49,206 - Maybe do some butt stuff. - That's awesome. 1374 01:08:49,289 --> 01:08:50,500 Anything goes, you know? 1375 01:08:51,251 --> 01:08:54,631 She put on her sexy little Juicy Cooter slip. 1376 01:08:57,006 --> 01:08:58,586 Got my rod all hard. 1377 01:08:58,675 --> 01:08:59,585 Cool. 1378 01:08:59,676 --> 01:09:02,386 She started licking all up in my ear, you know. 1379 01:09:03,011 --> 01:09:05,391 Saying sexy sweet nothings and whatnot. 1380 01:09:05,765 --> 01:09:07,765 And she leans in and she whispers... 1381 01:09:09,310 --> 01:09:11,560 "I know about you and my sister." 1382 01:09:14,106 --> 01:09:16,936 Yeah, and then she whips out a pair of scissors... and bam! 1383 01:09:17,734 --> 01:09:19,814 She snips my dick clean off. 1384 01:09:19,904 --> 01:09:21,564 - Yep. - And then she flushed it. 1385 01:09:21,864 --> 01:09:24,484 She flushed my pee-pee like a poo-poo. 1386 01:09:24,576 --> 01:09:27,246 She sounds like one bag of trash. 1387 01:09:27,328 --> 01:09:28,328 Yep. 1388 01:09:28,829 --> 01:09:30,329 You know what the craziest part is? 1389 01:09:33,585 --> 01:09:34,664 I still love her. 1390 01:09:35,377 --> 01:09:36,377 There it is. 1391 01:09:36,796 --> 01:09:39,586 You know, I know it's just a dirty toilet dick but, doctor... 1392 01:09:41,216 --> 01:09:44,716 I'd like to give these two young men my old penis. 1393 01:09:45,721 --> 01:09:47,891 - That's awesome. - You know, that might work. 1394 01:09:47,974 --> 01:09:49,684 Yeah. Because... 1395 01:09:51,060 --> 01:09:54,649 everybody deserves a second chance. 1396 01:09:54,771 --> 01:09:56,731 Even me? 1397 01:09:58,484 --> 01:09:59,484 Cheryl. 1398 01:10:00,485 --> 01:10:03,235 Oh, baby. I'm sorry, baby. 1399 01:10:03,823 --> 01:10:05,243 Baby, I'm so sorry. 1400 01:10:05,324 --> 01:10:08,194 No, baby, I'm sorry. I don't know what I was doing. 1401 01:10:08,286 --> 01:10:10,786 I don't know what I was thinking. 1402 01:10:10,872 --> 01:10:15,752 I just went in. I... I grabbed 'em and I snipped it. 1403 01:10:15,835 --> 01:10:18,835 You got through it real easy, too. I was surprised. 1404 01:10:18,921 --> 01:10:20,471 Can you ever forgive me? 1405 01:10:20,547 --> 01:10:22,927 If I could suck it back on, I would. 1406 01:10:23,009 --> 01:10:25,509 I know it was the drugs. I know it was the drugs. 1407 01:10:25,595 --> 01:10:27,215 You know it was the drugs. 1408 01:10:27,305 --> 01:10:28,715 - Baby. - Yeah? 1409 01:10:28,805 --> 01:10:31,845 - And how about a little kiss? - Yeah, okay. 1410 01:10:32,518 --> 01:10:34,518 That feels good. Little kisses of an angel. 1411 01:10:34,604 --> 01:10:37,394 - Yeah. It's okay. - Oh, my God. 1412 01:10:38,233 --> 01:10:41,283 - Baby. Oh, I love you so much. - Oh, I love you so much. 1413 01:10:41,360 --> 01:10:42,451 - Let's go. - Oh, Jesus. 1414 01:10:42,528 --> 01:10:45,528 - You're my king. - The scepter has been repaired. 1415 01:10:45,614 --> 01:10:47,854 When's little Reggie gonna be ready for me to... 1416 01:10:47,908 --> 01:10:50,038 Hey, guys! Guys, guys! Look... 1417 01:10:51,078 --> 01:10:53,618 I think they can attach Reginald's penis to your friend. 1418 01:10:54,082 --> 01:10:57,421 Okay? It's in the cold storage. One floor up, end of the hall. 1419 01:10:57,918 --> 01:10:58,998 Take my key card. 1420 01:10:59,671 --> 01:11:01,881 - Why aren't you coming? - "Why aren't you coming?" 1421 01:11:01,965 --> 01:11:05,045 How about I don't want to get sued? If they ask, I'll tell them you stole it. 1422 01:11:05,134 --> 01:11:07,423 Wow. That's so great of you. You're so nice. 1423 01:11:07,511 --> 01:11:09,311 Oh! 1424 01:11:09,389 --> 01:11:10,219 Oh, Scheiße! 1425 01:11:10,305 --> 01:11:11,805 What the fuck did you do that for? 1426 01:11:11,890 --> 01:11:15,890 So they believe we stole the key card. I don't know. I have a super fucking sensitive nose, you guys. 1427 01:11:17,396 --> 01:11:20,226 Why? Why? 1428 01:11:20,315 --> 01:11:21,985 Oh, my God! 1429 01:11:22,359 --> 01:11:24,449 - Holy shi... - Oh, my God! 1430 01:11:24,529 --> 01:11:25,359 She cut it off again! 1431 01:11:25,445 --> 01:11:29,826 I did, 'cause you don't deserve no cock, you cheating son of a bitch. 1432 01:11:29,908 --> 01:11:32,288 Oh, you fucking crazy ho bag! 1433 01:11:32,369 --> 01:11:34,579 - Whoa, whoa, whoa! We need that! - It's my cock! 1434 01:11:34,706 --> 01:11:36,076 It's my dick. 1435 01:11:40,795 --> 01:11:42,335 - Jesus! - Oh! 1436 01:11:42,421 --> 01:11:44,471 You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna cut it up 1437 01:11:44,548 --> 01:11:46,719 like a little three-year-old's lunch. 1438 01:11:46,801 --> 01:11:49,850 - She will do it. Trust me. - I'll do it. I'm crazy! 1439 01:11:49,929 --> 01:11:51,609 Oh! You're crazy, lady! 1440 01:11:53,932 --> 01:11:55,523 Ow! Where'd she go? 1441 01:11:55,600 --> 01:11:57,650 Where is she? 1442 01:11:57,729 --> 01:11:59,019 Oh, my God. 1443 01:12:00,105 --> 01:12:01,725 - Oh, fuck! - What the fuck? 1444 01:12:01,815 --> 01:12:05,525 I don't care how many times you reattach it, Reggie. 1445 01:12:05,903 --> 01:12:08,953 I'm gonna find you, I'm gonna cut it off, 1446 01:12:09,032 --> 01:12:12,542 and I'm gonna flush it every time. 1447 01:12:12,618 --> 01:12:14,805 - Don't you dare. - Get it, Donnie! Get it, Donnie! 1448 01:12:14,828 --> 01:12:16,078 She'll do it. 1449 01:12:16,163 --> 01:12:19,493 Cheryl, give me that. 1450 01:12:24,421 --> 01:12:26,681 Oh! 1451 01:12:28,301 --> 01:12:30,930 Blow it down! Blow the dick down. 1452 01:12:32,680 --> 01:12:33,890 I got you now. 1453 01:12:35,307 --> 01:12:38,478 Whoa! Whoa! 1454 01:12:38,560 --> 01:12:40,270 - Wait a minute, baby! - What? 1455 01:12:40,354 --> 01:12:41,685 I love you. 1456 01:12:42,189 --> 01:12:45,899 I love you too, Reggie. Why do you think I'm doing all this? 1457 01:12:46,109 --> 01:12:47,319 Security! 1458 01:12:48,988 --> 01:12:51,528 - Mission accomplished, bitch! - God damn it! 1459 01:12:51,615 --> 01:12:53,115 Oh! 1460 01:12:55,912 --> 01:12:58,122 It was just supposed to be camping. 1461 01:13:00,666 --> 01:13:02,746 - Oh, fuck. - I'm gonna pick it up. 1462 01:13:03,920 --> 01:13:06,340 I'm gonna flip it like dog poop. 1463 01:13:09,841 --> 01:13:12,851 Well, boys, I guess you get your wish. You got your friend's dick back. 1464 01:13:12,929 --> 01:13:14,969 Thanks! Let's go. Come on. 1465 01:13:15,055 --> 01:13:16,305 Good luck, boys! 1466 01:13:17,057 --> 01:13:18,057 Oh, shit. 1467 01:13:21,104 --> 01:13:22,104 You okay? 1468 01:13:25,733 --> 01:13:28,243 - Oh, hey, it's the girls. It's the girls. - What? 1469 01:13:31,238 --> 01:13:32,238 Hey. What's going on? 1470 01:13:34,617 --> 01:13:36,867 We... we have Jeremy's penis. 1471 01:13:36,953 --> 01:13:38,832 Thought it got sewn on to that other guy. 1472 01:13:39,122 --> 01:13:40,792 - Oh, it... It did. - Well, yeah. 1473 01:13:48,296 --> 01:13:49,296 'Sup, babe? 1474 01:13:49,340 --> 01:13:50,720 It's fucking Chad. 1475 01:13:59,516 --> 01:14:02,186 Here. Take... take it. 1476 01:14:04,354 --> 01:14:08,475 I know you're done with me, but the receptionist said there are five other hospitals Jeremy could be in. 1477 01:14:08,525 --> 01:14:12,865 We're gonna drive around and call around and see if we can find out where he is. 1478 01:14:12,947 --> 01:14:15,367 And if we figure it out before you... 1479 01:14:16,117 --> 01:14:19,537 I will text you. I'll text... Chad. 1480 01:14:20,787 --> 01:14:22,417 As me this time, not as you. 1481 01:14:25,042 --> 01:14:26,171 Do it. 1482 01:14:26,836 --> 01:14:30,216 You know what, I am really sorry that I sent that text. 1483 01:14:30,381 --> 01:14:32,551 But you deserve to be with somebody who respects you. 1484 01:14:36,011 --> 01:14:37,311 Not somebody who cheats on you. 1485 01:14:40,725 --> 01:14:43,265 You're amazing, and I really like you. 1486 01:14:43,728 --> 01:14:44,938 And I've always liked you. 1487 01:14:45,479 --> 01:14:48,689 And not... always... I haven't... 1488 01:14:48,899 --> 01:14:51,319 I don't, like, like you like a lot. Like a lot, a lot. 1489 01:14:51,402 --> 01:14:53,912 I just think you're cool, and I think you think I'm cool, 1490 01:14:53,988 --> 01:14:56,868 and that we're cool together. And it's cool that we... 1491 01:14:56,948 --> 01:14:58,618 have this thing and... 1492 01:14:58,909 --> 01:15:01,369 You know, I am not trying to make... 1493 01:15:08,085 --> 01:15:10,454 God. Oh, no, no, no, no. No. No, no, no. 1494 01:15:10,546 --> 01:15:12,756 Don't worry, I put it in a baggie like dog shit. 1495 01:15:13,216 --> 01:15:14,676 It's still pretty gross. 1496 01:15:14,759 --> 01:15:16,469 - Ugh. - Sorry. 1497 01:15:18,887 --> 01:15:19,887 Ugh. 1498 01:15:22,766 --> 01:15:25,766 Anyway, I'm really sorry about everything and... 1499 01:15:27,896 --> 01:15:29,146 I hope that you can forgive me. 1500 01:15:30,065 --> 01:15:32,395 Yeah. 1501 01:15:36,863 --> 01:15:39,323 - Come on down here, babe. Let's go. - Great. 1502 01:15:39,783 --> 01:15:40,783 One sec. 1503 01:15:41,786 --> 01:15:43,746 Why the fuck did I message Chad? 1504 01:15:45,664 --> 01:15:46,664 Come on. Let's go. 1505 01:15:47,917 --> 01:15:50,247 We're going to save Jeremy. 1506 01:15:52,880 --> 01:15:54,220 You guys coming or... 1507 01:15:54,840 --> 01:15:57,840 What? So, my speech was good? 1508 01:15:58,261 --> 01:15:59,261 No. 1509 01:15:59,595 --> 01:16:02,265 But, hey, I think I got what you were trying to say. 1510 01:16:02,597 --> 01:16:06,137 You messed up. You're sorry. I deserve respect. 1511 01:16:06,560 --> 01:16:07,730 We like each other. 1512 01:16:08,770 --> 01:16:09,820 Yeah. 1513 01:16:10,146 --> 01:16:11,146 I got it. 1514 01:16:12,440 --> 01:16:15,951 - Cool. - Let's go get Jeremy his dick back. 1515 01:16:16,028 --> 01:16:18,238 - Yeah! - Whoo! 1516 01:16:20,073 --> 01:16:22,904 - 'Sup, babe? - Sorry, Chad, we're broken up. Bye. 1517 01:16:22,993 --> 01:16:25,783 - 'Sup, Chad? - What the fuck? Are you serious? 1518 01:16:25,871 --> 01:16:27,331 I drove all the way out here! 1519 01:16:27,664 --> 01:16:28,914 Your loss, Becky. 1520 01:16:29,000 --> 01:16:32,250 I even got a fake ID so we could drink margaritas in Cancun. 1521 01:16:33,296 --> 01:16:35,256 - Wait. Holy shit. Stop the car. - What? 1522 01:16:35,338 --> 01:16:36,878 - What? - Stop the car. Stop. 1523 01:16:36,966 --> 01:16:38,716 - I know how to find Jeremy. - How? 1524 01:16:38,842 --> 01:16:41,070 Jeremy bought us booze on the drive out to the mountains. 1525 01:16:41,095 --> 01:16:42,095 So, what? 1526 01:16:42,137 --> 01:16:45,097 The military ID was the one in his wallet. His fake! 1527 01:16:45,181 --> 01:16:48,981 Oh! So, the hospital admitted him under the name on his fake ID. 1528 01:16:49,060 --> 01:16:52,230 Jack motherfucking Jessop! 1529 01:16:52,314 --> 01:16:53,475 What the fuck? 1530 01:16:53,565 --> 01:16:55,206 - Holy shit. - I'm calling it in. 1531 01:16:55,275 --> 01:16:59,996 - Which hospital? You said there were five. - East General. The first place. East General Hospital? 1532 01:17:01,282 --> 01:17:05,582 Hi, can you connect us to Jack Jessop, please? 1533 01:17:05,703 --> 01:17:06,703 One moment. 1534 01:17:13,293 --> 01:17:14,753 And connecting you now. 1535 01:17:14,837 --> 01:17:17,216 - Yes. - Yes! No, yes! 1536 01:17:19,884 --> 01:17:21,134 Just relax. 1537 01:17:22,177 --> 01:17:23,637 And count back from 100. 1538 01:17:23,720 --> 01:17:25,970 We'll be back shortly to take you into the OR. 1539 01:17:34,731 --> 01:17:37,192 - Hello? - Jeremy! 1540 01:17:37,275 --> 01:17:38,145 Jeremy! 1541 01:17:38,234 --> 01:17:40,774 Becky, where are you guys? They're trying to sew up my nub. 1542 01:17:40,863 --> 01:17:43,622 No, no, no! Tell them no. We're gonna be there soon, okay? 1543 01:17:43,698 --> 01:17:45,198 Please tell me you have my pee-pee. 1544 01:17:45,283 --> 01:17:46,404 We have it! 1545 01:17:46,493 --> 01:17:49,203 - Yes. - Please, I just want my pee-pee back. 1546 01:17:49,287 --> 01:17:52,037 - Stop calling it your pee-pee. - The doctor, Becky. 1547 01:17:52,792 --> 01:17:54,542 He said it's too late. 1548 01:17:55,043 --> 01:17:58,463 They pumped me with a lot of drugs, and now they're taking me to surgery. 1549 01:17:58,546 --> 01:18:00,546 - Ooh, no, no, no, no, no. - No, no, no, no, no. 1550 01:18:00,632 --> 01:18:01,643 Don't. Hold off. 1551 01:18:01,716 --> 01:18:04,506 - Nurse. Nurse. - We're gonna be there really soon. 1552 01:18:04,595 --> 01:18:07,345 - Do not let them take you into surgery. - Hi, Grandpa. 1553 01:18:09,307 --> 01:18:10,807 - Oh, shit. - We gotta go. 1554 01:18:11,476 --> 01:18:13,306 - Yeah, we gotta. - We gotta go. We gotta go. 1555 01:18:16,273 --> 01:18:20,703 Oh! He is out. Let's get him into surgery. 1556 01:18:21,779 --> 01:18:23,529 Say night-night to The Danish Girl. 1557 01:18:31,706 --> 01:18:32,706 Let's go! 1558 01:18:34,166 --> 01:18:35,166 Come on! 1559 01:18:40,213 --> 01:18:44,134 ♫ Oops, I did it again ♫ 1560 01:18:44,217 --> 01:18:49,557 ♫ I played with your heart Got lost in the game ♫ 1561 01:18:49,890 --> 01:18:51,640 ♫ Oh, baby, baby ♫ 1562 01:18:51,725 --> 01:18:55,105 ♫ Oops, you think I'm in love ♫ 1563 01:18:55,645 --> 01:18:59,985 ♫ That I'm sent from above ♫ 1564 01:19:00,067 --> 01:19:03,277 ♫ I'm not that innocent ♫ 1565 01:19:05,280 --> 01:19:08,990 ♫ Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♫ 1566 01:19:09,076 --> 01:19:10,365 No! 1567 01:19:10,493 --> 01:19:14,823 ♫ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♫ 1568 01:19:15,416 --> 01:19:18,296 ♫ I think I did it again ♫ 1569 01:19:18,877 --> 01:19:21,417 ♫ I made you believe ♫ 1570 01:19:21,505 --> 01:19:24,085 ♫ We're more than just friends ♫ 1571 01:19:24,759 --> 01:19:29,679 ♫ Oh, baby It might seem like a crush ♫ 1572 01:19:29,764 --> 01:19:31,554 ♫ But that doesn't mean ♫ 1573 01:19:31,640 --> 01:19:35,649 - Hey, stop those kids! - ♫ That I'm serious ♫ 1574 01:19:35,728 --> 01:19:41,068 ♫ 'Cause to lose all my senses ♫ 1575 01:19:41,149 --> 01:19:44,909 ♫ That is just so typically me ♫ 1576 01:19:45,570 --> 01:19:46,990 ♫ Ooh, baby, baby ♫ 1577 01:19:47,072 --> 01:19:50,912 - ♫ Oops, I did it again ♫ - Crash the boards! 1578 01:19:50,993 --> 01:19:53,122 ♫ I played with your heart ♫ 1579 01:19:53,578 --> 01:19:56,038 ♫ Got lost in the game ♫ 1580 01:19:56,122 --> 01:19:57,752 ♫ Oh, baby, baby ♫ 1581 01:19:57,832 --> 01:20:00,712 ♫ Oops, you think I'm in love ♫ 1582 01:20:00,795 --> 01:20:01,835 Yes! 1583 01:20:01,921 --> 01:20:05,381 ♫ Got sent from above ♫ 1584 01:20:05,466 --> 01:20:08,636 ♫ I'm not that innocent ♫ 1585 01:20:09,094 --> 01:20:11,094 ♫ Yeah, yeah ♫ 1586 01:20:11,764 --> 01:20:14,134 ♫ Yeah, yeah ♫ 1587 01:20:14,390 --> 01:20:18,520 ♫ Yeah, oh! ♫ 1588 01:20:18,604 --> 01:20:21,524 ♫ I'm not that innocent ♫ 1589 01:20:22,358 --> 01:20:28,488 Stop! Stop the surgery! I have the dick! 1590 01:20:36,204 --> 01:20:37,204 Oh, shit. 1591 01:20:40,751 --> 01:20:43,261 Um, excuse me? 1592 01:20:47,550 --> 01:20:48,970 I think this belongs to him. 1593 01:20:59,270 --> 01:21:03,609 Look, I'm really sorry that I freaked out when you tried to ask what our deal was earlier. 1594 01:21:07,444 --> 01:21:09,804 But if you're still interested, maybe we could DTR sometime. 1595 01:21:09,863 --> 01:21:10,863 Yes. 1596 01:21:11,782 --> 01:21:13,372 What? Yeah. No, yeah. 1597 01:21:13,449 --> 01:21:15,449 - That was a really quick answer. - What? 1598 01:21:15,536 --> 01:21:16,536 That'd be cool. 1599 01:21:18,247 --> 01:21:20,497 I can't wait, Sarah. 1600 01:21:23,711 --> 01:21:24,711 Me too, Donnie. 1601 01:21:28,591 --> 01:21:30,890 Just to clarify, we're talking about "dick to rim," 1602 01:21:30,967 --> 01:21:32,757 not "define the relationship," right? 1603 01:21:36,724 --> 01:21:37,724 I'm kidding. 1604 01:21:43,980 --> 01:21:46,740 Well, this is probably my last moment of freedom. 1605 01:21:46,817 --> 01:21:49,027 As I'll be grounded for the rest of my life. 1606 01:21:49,319 --> 01:21:51,359 I'm really sorry your parents are gonna kill you. 1607 01:21:51,447 --> 01:21:52,777 Oh, no. It's fine. 1608 01:21:52,864 --> 01:21:56,154 I mean, the rest of this year is gonna be super boring, anyway. 1609 01:21:56,702 --> 01:21:58,752 Someone I know is going back to Germany. 1610 01:22:07,212 --> 01:22:09,091 - Uh... nope. - Oh. 1611 01:22:09,422 --> 01:22:11,342 Uh, I'm sorry, I just... 1612 01:22:12,301 --> 01:22:15,511 I just remembered that you had my brother's dick in your mouth earlier. 1613 01:22:16,680 --> 01:22:18,220 Uh, so maybe... 1614 01:22:19,350 --> 01:22:20,350 maybe we should wait. 1615 01:22:20,850 --> 01:22:22,020 Okay, yeah. 1616 01:22:22,101 --> 01:22:23,021 That makes sense. 1617 01:22:23,103 --> 01:22:25,233 - Totally makes sense. I'm on board. - Cool. 1618 01:22:30,109 --> 01:22:31,529 - Don't. - Oh. 1619 01:22:31,612 --> 01:22:33,742 - Still got dick lips. - Still... Yeah. 1620 01:22:33,822 --> 01:22:36,082 - Dick mouth. - Yeah. 1621 01:22:37,576 --> 01:22:39,865 - Can you smell the dick? Okay. - No. No, no, no. 1622 01:22:39,953 --> 01:22:41,953 - It's just the image of it. Yeah. - Right. 1623 01:22:58,596 --> 01:23:02,096 - Jesus, dude. What do you have in here? - I got a lot of stuff. I got books. 1624 01:23:02,184 --> 01:23:03,264 Books on what? 1625 01:23:03,351 --> 01:23:06,061 - Books on Germany. - Don't they have those books in Germany? 1626 01:23:06,689 --> 01:23:09,359 - All right, this is it. - Yeah. 1627 01:23:10,567 --> 01:23:12,777 Really think your brother's gonna miss you, bro. 1628 01:23:12,903 --> 01:23:14,743 Yeah, I know what you mean. 1629 01:23:14,779 --> 01:23:16,739 Make it stop! 1630 01:23:16,823 --> 01:23:19,113 - Make it stop! - What the fuck? Seriously? Again? 1631 01:23:19,201 --> 01:23:20,201 - It's so good! - Stop! 1632 01:23:20,661 --> 01:23:23,161 You have to protect your Wi-Fi, Mr. Floyd. 1633 01:23:23,247 --> 01:23:25,497 I don't know how! 1634 01:23:25,582 --> 01:23:28,091 Turn it off, man. 1635 01:23:28,627 --> 01:23:30,207 What? Is this my ride? 1636 01:23:30,295 --> 01:23:32,164 - What? - What is this thing? 1637 01:23:35,676 --> 01:23:37,256 - Hey. - Hey. 1638 01:23:37,970 --> 01:23:39,970 - Ready to go? - Yeah! Oh, yeah. 1639 01:23:40,096 --> 01:23:41,726 Sean, good luck finishing rehab. 1640 01:23:42,265 --> 01:23:43,886 - Ha! - Thank you. 1641 01:23:45,351 --> 01:23:47,391 I know I said I'd drive you to the airport, just us, 1642 01:23:47,438 --> 01:23:49,358 but someone got out of the hospital early. 1643 01:24:01,577 --> 01:24:02,867 What's up? 1644 01:24:03,328 --> 01:24:04,247 Dude! 1645 01:24:04,328 --> 01:24:05,788 - Cool. - That's so sick. 1646 01:24:05,872 --> 01:24:07,002 What's up, dogs? 1647 01:24:07,082 --> 01:24:09,921 Jeremy insisted that our parents rent him 1648 01:24:10,002 --> 01:24:11,921 a wheelchair van. 1649 01:24:12,003 --> 01:24:15,583 It's like we have a dumb Stephen Hawking just rascaling around the house. 1650 01:24:15,673 --> 01:24:17,543 - Heh. - I cut my dick off. 1651 01:24:17,634 --> 01:24:20,094 Fucking pimp, right? I look like Professor X. 1652 01:24:20,261 --> 01:24:21,561 "Scott, you're a chump. 1653 01:24:21,721 --> 01:24:24,431 Logan's been tapping Jean since day one." 1654 01:24:24,807 --> 01:24:26,018 Oh, yeah. 1655 01:24:26,100 --> 01:24:29,690 Hey, Sean, also, don't tell Kendall about S-ing my D. 1656 01:24:29,771 --> 01:24:32,481 She's already pissed she can't be riding this dragon, you feel? 1657 01:24:32,983 --> 01:24:35,113 Right, yeah, she would be pissed if she were real. 1658 01:24:43,743 --> 01:24:45,203 Hey, guys. I'm Kendall. 1659 01:24:45,287 --> 01:24:48,417 Jennersss. 1660 01:24:49,248 --> 01:24:51,998 Thanks for making sure Little J made his way back home. 1661 01:24:52,086 --> 01:24:54,166 - Little J. - Oh, our pleasure. 1662 01:24:54,337 --> 01:24:57,358 - She calls it Little J? Disgusting. - I gotta give you two more kisses. 1663 01:24:57,381 --> 01:24:59,551 - Okay. Two more kisses, but just two. - Okay. 1664 01:25:00,802 --> 01:25:03,393 Kendall, I told you just two! You're gonna rip the stitches. 1665 01:25:03,471 --> 01:25:05,181 I'm sorry, I just love you so much. 1666 01:25:05,265 --> 01:25:06,845 Why did you fuck with the ramp? 1667 01:25:06,975 --> 01:25:09,095 You gotta get back in. We're going to the airport. 1668 01:25:09,728 --> 01:25:10,768 Fuck me! All right, yeah. 1669 01:25:10,854 --> 01:25:12,434 - Let's get back in the van. - Come on. 1670 01:25:12,523 --> 01:25:13,823 Nice meeting you guys. 1671 01:25:13,899 --> 01:25:15,649 - Get back in the van. - Let's roll. 1672 01:25:15,734 --> 01:25:17,604 - Okay. - You got this. Come on, babe. 1673 01:25:17,694 --> 01:25:21,404 Bye, Jeremy's girlfriend. Hope you enjoy his Franken-peen when it's healed. 1674 01:25:21,532 --> 01:25:23,372 Franken-peen's funny. 1675 01:25:23,449 --> 01:25:25,329 - Good, right? - Come on. Keep it up. 1676 01:25:25,409 --> 01:25:26,409 I love you, babe. 1677 01:25:26,494 --> 01:25:29,034 - I love you too, babe. - ♪MeToo, babe. 1678 01:25:29,122 --> 01:25:33,712 So, I could drive you to soccer practice if you wanted. 1679 01:25:34,545 --> 01:25:35,545 Yeah. 1680 01:25:35,878 --> 01:25:38,088 Maybe we can stop by the church parking lot on the way. 1681 01:25:38,631 --> 01:25:43,011 Yeah, absolutely. Yes. Yeah. Thank you. Is it weird to say thank you? 1682 01:25:43,095 --> 01:25:45,135 - Little bit. - Yeah, it's strange. 1683 01:25:45,930 --> 01:25:46,930 All right. 1684 01:25:47,306 --> 01:25:48,936 So I wanted to... 1685 01:25:49,309 --> 01:25:50,559 give you something... 1686 01:25:50,644 --> 01:25:54,394 when I dropped you off at the airport, but now we got these two tagging along. 1687 01:25:54,480 --> 01:25:55,480 Ah, bummer. 1688 01:25:55,524 --> 01:25:59,894 Yeah, but what I wanted to give you was, um... 1689 01:26:01,363 --> 01:26:02,453 Give you this. 1690 01:26:03,282 --> 01:26:04,492 Oh. 1691 01:26:04,615 --> 01:26:06,076 - The Fuck King. - The Fuck King. 1692 01:26:06,159 --> 01:26:08,539 What is the Fuck King without his condom crown? 1693 01:26:08,619 --> 01:26:10,539 Wow. Returns. 1694 01:26:10,622 --> 01:26:14,042 - Mm-hmm. - I don't know... I don't know why I... 1695 01:26:14,126 --> 01:26:15,126 Right, yeah. 1696 01:26:20,841 --> 01:26:22,470 Oh, my God. 1697 01:26:23,385 --> 01:26:25,345 You know we can see you, right? 1698 01:26:26,721 --> 01:26:30,141 Yo, Jeremy, Sean's tonguing your sister pretty hard right now. 1699 01:26:30,225 --> 01:26:32,845 What? Hold on. I'm missing it. I'm missing it. Hold up. 1700 01:26:32,935 --> 01:26:34,695 You know he had a dick in his mouth? 1701 01:26:34,770 --> 01:26:37,150 Yeah, well, in 20 minutes, I'll have a dick in mine. 1702 01:26:39,775 --> 01:26:41,945 What? What? Really? 1703 01:26:42,779 --> 01:26:43,779 No. 1704 01:26:44,948 --> 01:26:45,948 Great. Thanks. 1705 01:26:46,574 --> 01:26:48,074 ♫ If I was one of the good ones ♫ 1706 01:26:48,159 --> 01:26:50,430 - Yo, can you see them? - I can't, babe. 1707 01:26:50,453 --> 01:26:51,493 I gotta get out. 1708 01:26:51,579 --> 01:26:53,880 - Becky! - Go, Sean. Take it horizontal. 1709 01:26:53,957 --> 01:26:57,207 - Stop making out with him! - Okay, I'll just do it myself. 1710 01:26:57,293 --> 01:26:59,003 Oh, my God. He's gonna get a boner. 1711 01:26:59,171 --> 01:27:01,051 Yeah! 1712 01:27:02,341 --> 01:27:03,680 - Babe? - Wait. 1713 01:27:03,759 --> 01:27:05,929 - Jeremy! - Get back in the car. 1714 01:27:06,052 --> 01:27:08,682 - Jeremy, get back in the car. - You're gonna get dirty. 1715 01:27:08,764 --> 01:27:10,634 Get it, Becky! This is her choice. 1716 01:27:10,724 --> 01:27:12,684 Jeremy, it's not like you can't walk. 1717 01:27:12,768 --> 01:27:15,938 - Your legs are fine. - What are you doing? Oh, my God! 1718 01:27:16,104 --> 01:27:18,104 Hips! Use those hips, girl! 1719 01:27:18,189 --> 01:27:21,359 Jeremy, stop being so fucking weird. It's your sister. 1720 01:27:21,443 --> 01:27:23,743 Oh, my God, babe. How's Little J? 1721 01:27:24,488 --> 01:27:27,328 - Oh, my God. - I'm gonna grab my own ass. 1722 01:27:27,407 --> 01:27:29,537 And then, Becky, tell me if you feel it, too. 1723 01:27:29,618 --> 01:27:32,908 - There's no twin connection, dude. - Oh, here we go. 1724 01:27:32,996 --> 01:27:34,036 It's beautiful. 1725 01:27:34,122 --> 01:27:37,502 I thought it'd be weird to watch your best friend make out, but... 1726 01:27:38,377 --> 01:27:39,417 I'm getting into it. 1727 01:27:39,795 --> 01:27:43,085 You guys, this is awesome. But I think I fucked up my stitches. 1728 01:27:43,172 --> 01:27:45,972 - I told you to be careful. - Let's cut to the music. 1729 01:27:46,009 --> 01:27:49,179 ♫ I miss my dick, dick, dick ♫ 1730 01:27:49,262 --> 01:27:52,682 ♫ I miss my dick I miss my dick, dick, dick, yeah ♫ 1731 01:27:52,765 --> 01:27:55,935 ♫ Dragon shirt, camping best Merrell boots, they're the best ♫ 1732 01:27:56,019 --> 01:27:59,399 ♫ Lauryn Hill swaggin', playin' suckers Like a game of chess ♫ 1733 01:27:59,480 --> 01:28:02,690 ♫ Pants sagging, cargo pocket Packing heat, no Smith & Wes ♫ 1734 01:28:02,775 --> 01:28:05,945 ♫ Mess with the balisong Let's take a trip and ride along ♫ 1735 01:28:06,029 --> 01:28:09,279 ♫ Bags packed, I got the bong Cheefing on some Tommy Chong ♫ 1736 01:28:09,365 --> 01:28:12,655 ♫ Oh, my God, what is wrong? I think I chopped my fucking dong ♫ 1737 01:28:12,743 --> 01:28:15,863 "♫ Yeah, it's true if you ain't noticed 6'1", two balls with no dick ♫ 1738 01:28:15,956 --> 01:28:19,286 ♫ What the fuck, I don't deserve this Chopped my dick, not on purpose ♫ 1739 01:28:19,376 --> 01:28:22,336 ♫ And Sean is out here nature twerking ♫ 1740 01:28:22,421 --> 01:28:25,631 ♫ Donnie's drunk and Sarah's mad Becky's pissed at Mom and Dad ♫ 1741 01:28:25,716 --> 01:28:29,136 ♫ Trying to throw a party After breaking up with fucking Chad ♫ 1742 01:28:29,219 --> 01:28:32,349 ♫ Now I'm here with no dick I pray to God and still no dick ♫ 1743 01:28:32,430 --> 01:28:35,230 ♫ I ain't got a dick But it don't mean shit ♫ 1744 01:28:35,309 --> 01:28:38,479 ♫ I can still smoke weed I can still get lit ♫ 1745 01:28:38,561 --> 01:28:41,731 ♫ And if you staring at my crotch Might as well take a pic ♫ 1746 01:28:41,814 --> 01:28:45,185 ♫ All the ladies come and flock 'Cause they miss my dick ♫ 1747 01:28:45,277 --> 01:28:48,317 ♫ I miss my dick I miss my dick, dick ♫ 1748 01:28:48,404 --> 01:28:51,725 ♫ I miss my dick, dick, I miss my dick I miss my dick ♫ 1749 01:28:53,076 --> 01:28:54,826 ♫ Dick, dick, yeah ♫ 1750 01:28:54,911 --> 01:28:58,421 ♫ I miss my dick, dick, dick ♫ 1751 01:28:59,041 --> 01:29:02,091 ♫ Balls wrapped in rubber bands Ready to die just like a cramp ♫ 1752 01:29:02,168 --> 01:29:05,469 ♫ Dead lobster, helicopter Pick me up, went to the hospital ♫ 1753 01:29:05,546 --> 01:29:08,506 ♫ Doctor says, "Impossible I have to sew your Popsicle" ♫ 1754 01:29:08,591 --> 01:29:11,681 ♫ Life is full of obstacles But this shit can't be possible ♫ 1755 01:29:11,761 --> 01:29:14,931 ♫ Like the way I lost my dick Doctor says too late, can't fix ♫ 1756 01:29:15,015 --> 01:29:18,135 ♫ Tell me, how could it be like this? Yo, dog, think of something quick ♫ 1757 01:29:18,225 --> 01:29:21,895 ♫ Tell me how am I gonna fuck my bitch How am I gonna live life without my dick ♫ 1758 01:29:21,979 --> 01:29:24,529 ♫ Can I get a boner? Organ donors? Put me on a wait list ♫ 1759 01:29:24,608 --> 01:29:26,688 ♫ Doc says face it I tried to tell you once ♫ 1760 01:29:26,777 --> 01:29:28,817 ♫ I don't wanna tell you twice ♫ 1761 01:29:28,904 --> 01:29:30,444 ♫ Major case of blue balls cooking ♫ 1762 01:29:30,529 --> 01:29:33,699 ♫ I'll be cumming rice By the time I get it back ♫ 1763 01:29:33,783 --> 01:29:35,404 ♫ Too late now, it's in his hands ♫ 1764 01:29:35,493 --> 01:29:38,743 ♫ Homies punked a redneck They said, "Nah, boy, you getting jack" ♫ 1765 01:29:38,829 --> 01:29:41,630 ♫ I ain't got a dick But it don't mean shit ♫ 1766 01:29:41,707 --> 01:29:44,917 ♫ I can still smoke weed I can still get lit ♫ 1767 01:29:45,002 --> 01:29:48,172 ♫ And if you staring at my crotch Might as well take a pic ♫ 1768 01:29:48,256 --> 01:29:51,386 ♫ All the ladies come and flock 'Cause they miss my dick ♫ 1769 01:29:51,467 --> 01:29:52,467 ♫ I miss my dick ♫ 1770 01:29:52,551 --> 01:29:56,181 - ♫ I miss my dick. I wish it was here. ♫ - ♫ I miss my dick ♫ 1771 01:29:56,264 --> 01:29:59,804 - ♫ I dunno, I might... grow a beard, ♫ - ♫ I miss my dick ♫ 1772 01:29:59,893 --> 01:30:04,113 ♫ I might start playing World of Warcraft. ♫ - ♫ I miss my dick ♫ 135847

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