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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,010 --> 00:00:07,750 Marty? 2 00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:09,540 There are customers waiting in the lounge 3 00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:11,540 and no one bringing their cars around. 4 00:00:11,650 --> 00:00:13,720 Yeah, I know, Dad. Lowell just quit this morning. 5 00:00:13,810 --> 00:00:15,580 Of course he did. 6 00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:18,180 It is impossible to keep employees these days. 7 00:00:18,290 --> 00:00:20,460 Nobody in your generation wants to work. 8 00:00:20,550 --> 00:00:23,120 Actually, he quit because he sold a movie script 9 00:00:23,220 --> 00:00:25,720 to Oprah's company, but yeah. 10 00:00:27,260 --> 00:00:29,360 Well, if he wrote it while he was working here, 11 00:00:29,460 --> 00:00:30,560 I want a percentage. 12 00:00:30,660 --> 00:00:32,260 And your mama get to meet Oprah. 13 00:00:32,370 --> 00:00:33,670 And Gayle. 14 00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:38,110 Mom, you are stressing me out. 15 00:00:38,210 --> 00:00:40,250 You are making this a very big deal, 16 00:00:40,340 --> 00:00:42,440 and I got a lot going on. 17 00:00:42,540 --> 00:00:44,410 Mom, I love you. Love you. 18 00:00:44,510 --> 00:00:46,610 Love you, too, but you're not hearing me! 19 00:00:46,710 --> 00:00:48,880 Yes, but everyone else is. 20 00:00:51,820 --> 00:00:54,290 I let my mom talk me into coming home 21 00:00:54,390 --> 00:00:55,930 to Calgary for a quick visit, 22 00:00:56,020 --> 00:00:58,620 and suddenly she's throwing me an enormous baby shower. 23 00:00:58,730 --> 00:01:01,770 Oh. Yes, the pastor's fine. 24 00:01:01,860 --> 00:01:03,230 But the whole congregation? 25 00:01:04,870 --> 00:01:06,440 I love you, too, Mommy. 26 00:01:06,530 --> 00:01:08,130 That woman is gonna be the death of me. 27 00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:10,070 I told her I did not want a baby shower. 28 00:01:10,170 --> 00:01:12,510 Well, the baby is gonna need a lot of stuff when it comes. 29 00:01:12,610 --> 00:01:14,180 Yes, but a free stroller 30 00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:16,180 and bottle warmer isn't worth me having to explain 31 00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:18,120 to two dozen old ladies how I accidentally 32 00:01:18,210 --> 00:01:19,650 let some random dude knock me up. 33 00:01:20,910 --> 00:01:22,610 No offense. 34 00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:24,960 Believe me, I know how moms can get. 35 00:01:25,050 --> 00:01:27,120 (yells) What? What's wrong? 36 00:01:27,220 --> 00:01:28,890 I forgot to invite your mom. 37 00:01:28,990 --> 00:01:31,060 Oh! 38 00:01:32,060 --> 00:01:33,630 The shower's tomorrow, and in another country. 39 00:01:33,730 --> 00:01:35,170 It's okay. It's okay. 40 00:01:35,260 --> 00:01:37,730 Then why did you scream? Did I? 41 00:01:37,830 --> 00:01:38,900 I shouldn't have. 42 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:40,900 What am I gonna do? 43 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:42,940 Your mom is never gonna forgive me. 44 00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:44,780 Courtney, calm down, okay? 45 00:01:44,870 --> 00:01:46,270 (stammers) It's gonna be okay. 46 00:01:46,370 --> 00:01:47,840 This isn't even her kind of thing. 47 00:01:47,940 --> 00:01:49,140 And it's all the way in Canada. 48 00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:51,540 Trust me, you are doing her a favor. 49 00:01:51,650 --> 00:01:54,220 Now she doesn't have to let you down by saying no. 50 00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:55,790 Are you sure? 51 00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:57,620 Of course I'm sure. 52 00:01:57,720 --> 00:02:00,290 You think I don't know my own mother? 53 00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:03,960 Okay. All right, you just, 54 00:02:04,060 --> 00:02:05,630 you just, you go and-and have fun. 55 00:02:05,730 --> 00:02:07,430 And, uh, I'll see you when you get back. 56 00:02:07,530 --> 00:02:08,860 Okay, okay, thank you. 57 00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:10,260 All right. "Get back"? 58 00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:12,500 Is she going to lunch already? 59 00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:14,130 No, Dad, she's going to Canada. 60 00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:15,970 Well, she better be back in an hour. 61 00:02:17,310 --> 00:02:19,040 ♪ Welcome to the block, welcome to the neighborhood ♪ 62 00:02:19,140 --> 00:02:20,510 ♪ Welcome to the hood. ♪ 63 00:02:25,380 --> 00:02:27,380 Dinner was fantastic, Gemma. 64 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:28,720 The steaks were perfect. 65 00:02:28,820 --> 00:02:30,690 Oh, thanks, Tina. Mm-hmm. 66 00:02:30,780 --> 00:02:33,120 Calvin, cognac? 67 00:02:33,220 --> 00:02:35,190 Ah, you're breaking out the 'yac. 68 00:02:35,290 --> 00:02:36,790 (chuckles) 69 00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:39,330 This friendship is finally paying off. 70 00:02:39,430 --> 00:02:42,370 So, Lamar, am I crazy, or did you take the bus here tonight? 71 00:02:42,460 --> 00:02:44,030 You're not crazy, Gemma. 72 00:02:44,130 --> 00:02:46,130 The Datsun caught on fire. 73 00:02:46,230 --> 00:02:47,560 Ah, that's a bummer. 74 00:02:47,670 --> 00:02:49,240 And you can't afford to buy another car 75 00:02:49,340 --> 00:02:50,740 because you can't find a job. 76 00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:53,210 You can't find a job because he doesn't have a car. 77 00:02:53,310 --> 00:02:54,880 Mm. 78 00:02:54,980 --> 00:02:57,020 It's quite a pickle. 79 00:02:57,980 --> 00:02:59,750 Well, I'd love to give you a job, 80 00:02:59,850 --> 00:03:01,650 but the school has a very clear policy 81 00:03:01,750 --> 00:03:03,320 on hiring convicted felons. 82 00:03:03,420 --> 00:03:04,490 You can't. 83 00:03:05,790 --> 00:03:07,020 Damn it. 84 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:08,220 Just wish we knew someone 85 00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:10,620 who owned a private business. 86 00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:14,960 Ah, okay. 87 00:03:15,060 --> 00:03:17,330 I see I've been suckered by the 'yac. 88 00:03:17,430 --> 00:03:19,070 Mm-hmm. 89 00:03:19,170 --> 00:03:21,710 You guys always talk about how good people 90 00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:23,600 deserve a second chance. 91 00:03:23,700 --> 00:03:26,470 Yes, but not from me, Dave. 92 00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:30,110 Besides, I can't help. 93 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,780 I don't have any openings. 94 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:33,820 Yes, you do. 95 00:03:33,910 --> 00:03:35,880 Didn't Lowell the valet guy just quit this morning? 96 00:03:40,750 --> 00:03:42,850 I had forgotten that. 97 00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:44,200 Yes, Tina. 98 00:03:44,290 --> 00:03:46,960 Thank you so much for that very timely reminder. 99 00:03:50,300 --> 00:03:53,200 Do you really believe Mama wouldn't care if she wasn't 100 00:03:53,300 --> 00:03:54,470 invited to the baby shower? 101 00:03:54,570 --> 00:03:56,910 Of course she'd care. She'd be heartbroken. 102 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:59,700 But that's why she's never going to find out. 103 00:03:59,810 --> 00:04:01,580 Oh, really, Marty? 104 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:04,350 This is the same woman who knew Courtney was pregnant 105 00:04:04,450 --> 00:04:06,050 before Courtney knew she was pregnant. 106 00:04:06,150 --> 00:04:08,590 I know. I know, I know, but-but this is different. 107 00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:10,420 The shower's all the way in Canada. 108 00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:12,120 And she don't know nobody who's going. 109 00:04:12,220 --> 00:04:13,720 It's not like she has magical powers. 110 00:04:13,820 --> 00:04:15,460 Marty, baby shower. 111 00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:17,260 She's a witch! 112 00:04:19,830 --> 00:04:21,430 I want to throw Courtney a shower. 113 00:04:21,530 --> 00:04:22,500 Let's talk dates. 114 00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:24,500 Oh, dates! Yeah. 115 00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:26,600 For-for a future shower, yes. Yeah. 116 00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:28,400 No! No, no, Courtney doesn't 117 00:04:28,500 --> 00:04:29,800 want a baby shower. She hates showers. 118 00:04:29,900 --> 00:04:31,500 What kind of person hates showers? 119 00:04:31,610 --> 00:04:34,450 Well, she's a millennial and a Scorpio and a Hufflepuff. 120 00:04:34,540 --> 00:04:36,110 Oh, come on, it'd be a super fun party 121 00:04:36,210 --> 00:04:37,650 where people give you stuff. 122 00:04:37,750 --> 00:04:39,690 I know. She's crazy. 123 00:04:42,420 --> 00:04:44,120 Talk about a milestone. 124 00:04:44,220 --> 00:04:45,920 You know, you never forget the first day you drop off 125 00:04:46,020 --> 00:04:48,490 your long-lost dad at his minimum-wage job 126 00:04:48,590 --> 00:04:50,430 just after he gets out of prison. 127 00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:52,390 It's like a great country song. 128 00:04:53,230 --> 00:04:55,100 Listen, just so we're clear, Lamar, 129 00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:57,140 there are a few requirements. 130 00:04:57,230 --> 00:04:59,000 All right, always keep your uniform clean, 131 00:04:59,100 --> 00:05:01,000 be on time and... 132 00:05:01,100 --> 00:05:02,670 don't steal anything. 133 00:05:02,770 --> 00:05:03,970 Roger that. 134 00:05:06,210 --> 00:05:09,150 Uh, Calvin, you promised not to be prejudiced 135 00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:11,780 against a good man who deserves a second chance. 136 00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:14,080 No, I said I'd give him a second chance. 137 00:05:14,180 --> 00:05:16,150 I didn't say I wasn't gonna be prejudiced. 138 00:05:16,250 --> 00:05:17,490 (sighs) 139 00:05:17,590 --> 00:05:18,920 Yo, Marty. 140 00:05:19,020 --> 00:05:20,420 Oh, hey. You're back from Calgary. 141 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:22,890 Yes, I am so relieved. It was crazy. 142 00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:26,190 But I survived, and the baby got a ton of great gifts. 143 00:05:26,290 --> 00:05:29,560 And I made it back in time for trivia night. 144 00:05:29,660 --> 00:05:32,330 We are going to crush that team 145 00:05:32,430 --> 00:05:35,370 of cocky dental hygienists, the Flossy Posse? (scoffs) 146 00:05:35,470 --> 00:05:36,870 Boo. 147 00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:41,540 Sorry, di-- uh, did I hear trivia night? 148 00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:44,280 Because I am fantastic at trivia. 149 00:05:44,380 --> 00:05:46,220 And I have no plans tonight, guys. 150 00:05:46,310 --> 00:05:47,880 Nothing. 151 00:05:47,980 --> 00:05:49,980 David. 152 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:52,650 Well, I know, but we already have four. 153 00:05:52,750 --> 00:05:56,150 Uh, it's me, Courtney, Malcolm and Julian. 154 00:05:56,260 --> 00:05:58,200 What's up? Here you go, boss man. 155 00:05:59,190 --> 00:06:00,390 That Julian? 156 00:06:00,490 --> 00:06:01,490 Yeah. 157 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:02,940 The coffee guy? 158 00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:04,670 He knows a million random facts. 159 00:06:04,770 --> 00:06:05,670 Yeah. Julian? 160 00:06:05,770 --> 00:06:06,770 Yo. 161 00:06:06,870 --> 00:06:07,940 Smallest Great Lake. 162 00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:09,680 By volume, Erie. 163 00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:11,510 By area, Ontario. 164 00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:14,340 Give me some, all right. 165 00:06:15,510 --> 00:06:17,150 And yet he wrote 166 00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:19,510 "Clavion" on my latte. 167 00:06:22,250 --> 00:06:24,120 Oh, hey, do me a favor. 168 00:06:24,220 --> 00:06:26,560 Keep an eye out for boxes at your house. Why? 169 00:06:26,650 --> 00:06:28,180 Well, people are constantly stealing packages 170 00:06:28,290 --> 00:06:29,730 at my building, so I sent all 171 00:06:29,820 --> 00:06:31,890 the baby shower gifts to your house. 172 00:06:31,990 --> 00:06:34,230 Oh, okay. 173 00:06:34,330 --> 00:06:36,770 (laughs, stammers) When are they arriving? 174 00:06:36,860 --> 00:06:38,960 Well, the online registry stuff 175 00:06:39,070 --> 00:06:40,440 should start getting there today. 176 00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:43,030 Today? Today, today. 177 00:06:43,140 --> 00:06:45,340 As-as in today. 178 00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:47,580 Oh, so convenient. 179 00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:49,050 Yeah. 180 00:06:49,140 --> 00:06:50,580 (phone ringing) 181 00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:52,110 (groans) Okay. 182 00:06:52,210 --> 00:06:53,550 (clears throat) 183 00:06:53,650 --> 00:06:55,120 (chuckles) Shello? 184 00:06:55,220 --> 00:06:57,160 Malcolm, this is no time for shello. 185 00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,950 Courtney sent the baby shower gifts to our house. 186 00:07:00,050 --> 00:07:01,320 When Mom sees it, she's gonna be more upset 187 00:07:01,420 --> 00:07:02,760 than when En Vogue broke up. 188 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:05,960 Remember she came and got us out of school? 189 00:07:06,060 --> 00:07:07,760 Oh, yeah, that was bad. 190 00:07:07,860 --> 00:07:09,730 You know what? Hey, do not panic. 191 00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:11,200 Okay? Let me go check, baby bro. 192 00:07:11,300 --> 00:07:12,270 Okay. 193 00:07:12,370 --> 00:07:14,770 (grunts) Okay. 194 00:07:14,870 --> 00:07:16,740 Oh, whoa! 195 00:07:17,740 --> 00:07:18,910 I'm gonna get these inside. 196 00:07:19,010 --> 00:07:20,380 Okay. Hurry, hurry. 197 00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:23,340 Oh, my God! 198 00:07:24,750 --> 00:07:26,590 Malcolm? Malcolm, what is it? 199 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:28,480 Hello, Malcolm. 200 00:07:38,530 --> 00:07:41,130 So I'm supposed to believe she just forgot 201 00:07:41,230 --> 00:07:44,530 to invite me to a secret Canadian baby shower? 202 00:07:47,230 --> 00:07:48,870 Yes, ma'am. 203 00:07:48,970 --> 00:07:51,740 Okay. Okay. 204 00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:53,810 And, uh... (clears throat) Marty, 205 00:07:53,910 --> 00:07:55,780 he didn't want you to know because he thought 206 00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:58,420 that you might be... mad. 207 00:07:58,510 --> 00:07:59,510 Oh, I'm not mad. 208 00:07:59,610 --> 00:08:01,480 You're not? (laughs) 209 00:08:01,580 --> 00:08:03,110 Mama, that is good. 210 00:08:03,220 --> 00:08:04,490 I'm more numb. 211 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:08,820 Numb with sadness. 212 00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:12,590 I am so sorry, Mama. 213 00:08:12,690 --> 00:08:14,930 Is there, uh, is there anything I can do to help? 214 00:08:15,030 --> 00:08:16,730 You can meet a girl, get her pregnant, 215 00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:19,130 and invite me to the baby shower. 216 00:08:22,700 --> 00:08:24,940 I was thinking more like frozen yogurt. 217 00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:31,550 Hey, Calvin. 218 00:08:31,650 --> 00:08:33,690 Look at my dad out here busting his hump. 219 00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:35,550 Yes, he is. 220 00:08:35,650 --> 00:08:37,290 I hate to admit it, but you were right. 221 00:08:37,380 --> 00:08:39,320 Yeah. Hey, you know, I was thinking. 222 00:08:39,420 --> 00:08:41,220 Maybe we should take you and Tina 223 00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:42,720 out to drinks at Ernie's tonight. 224 00:08:42,820 --> 00:08:45,220 You know, celebrate how well this is all going. 225 00:08:45,330 --> 00:08:47,130 Is this just so you can say, "I told you so"? 226 00:08:47,230 --> 00:08:48,500 Yeah, well, pretty much. 227 00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:49,800 Well, if you're buying, 228 00:08:49,900 --> 00:08:51,500 you can say whatever you want. 229 00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:53,640 And if your dad keeps working like this, 230 00:08:53,730 --> 00:08:55,630 he's gonna be employee of the month. 231 00:08:56,770 --> 00:08:58,810 What, uh, does employee of the month get? 232 00:08:58,910 --> 00:09:01,680 They get to work another month. 233 00:09:01,780 --> 00:09:03,620 Good enough. 234 00:09:08,050 --> 00:09:09,020 She wasn't mad? 235 00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:10,290 No, I wish. 236 00:09:10,380 --> 00:09:11,350 She was sad. 237 00:09:11,450 --> 00:09:12,990 Oh, no, that's bad. 238 00:09:13,090 --> 00:09:16,390 Okay, okay, here's what I'm thinking. 239 00:09:16,490 --> 00:09:18,360 This is one of those problems that just goes away 240 00:09:18,460 --> 00:09:20,500 if you avoid it. 241 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:23,800 Like the "check engine" light. 242 00:09:23,900 --> 00:09:26,640 Okay, I feel like you're mocking me with that answer. 243 00:09:26,730 --> 00:09:28,530 Yes. But yes. 244 00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:30,740 Marty, what if Courtney finds out you lied? 245 00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:32,410 You told her Mama wouldn't care about the shower. 246 00:09:32,510 --> 00:09:34,450 Mom and Courtney barely see each other. 247 00:09:34,540 --> 00:09:35,780 How's she gonna find out? (door creaks open) 248 00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:37,550 Well, off the top of my head, 249 00:09:37,650 --> 00:09:39,690 I can think of one way. 250 00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:45,050 Wait a minute, does that sign say--? 251 00:09:45,150 --> 00:09:46,420 Is it trivia night? 252 00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:47,760 Oh, God. 253 00:09:47,860 --> 00:09:49,290 Guys, we should play. 254 00:09:49,390 --> 00:09:51,730 This is starting to feel like another Dave setup. 255 00:09:51,830 --> 00:09:53,170 I'm getting good at them, right? 256 00:09:56,060 --> 00:09:58,530 (chuckles) Hey... 257 00:09:58,630 --> 00:10:01,200 Mommy. (laughs) 258 00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:03,870 I am so glad to see you, 259 00:10:03,970 --> 00:10:06,170 because when I told you 260 00:10:06,270 --> 00:10:08,340 that Courtney wasn't having a baby shower, 261 00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:10,580 I just assumed you meant in this country. 262 00:10:10,680 --> 00:10:12,410 Canadian showers are completely different. 263 00:10:12,510 --> 00:10:13,880 It's like how they have their own Thanksgiving, 264 00:10:13,980 --> 00:10:16,120 but it's on a different day, so nobody cares. 265 00:10:16,220 --> 00:10:18,390 It's fine, Marty. 266 00:10:18,490 --> 00:10:19,690 It is? 267 00:10:19,790 --> 00:10:20,720 Yes. 268 00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:23,020 I got a lot of clarity today. 269 00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:26,260 I know that I will never be a part of my grandchild's life. 270 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:29,930 And I now know that your word means nothing. 271 00:10:30,030 --> 00:10:32,030 No, w-- that is not fine. 272 00:10:32,130 --> 00:10:33,630 Mommy... Hey, Marty. 273 00:10:33,730 --> 00:10:36,430 Hi, Mrs. B. Oh, you don't have to call me Mrs. B. 274 00:10:36,540 --> 00:10:38,510 Just call me "random lady," 275 00:10:38,610 --> 00:10:41,150 because that's all I'll ever be to my grandchild. 276 00:10:42,610 --> 00:10:44,510 (air horn blows) 277 00:10:44,610 --> 00:10:47,180 All right, you drunken brainiacs, it's trivia time! 278 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:49,350 (cheering, applause) 279 00:10:49,450 --> 00:10:51,650 Marty, why is your mom mad at me? 280 00:10:51,750 --> 00:10:55,590 Well, that's a... it's a quagmire 281 00:10:55,690 --> 00:10:57,860 in sort of an enigma, 282 00:10:57,960 --> 00:11:00,330 inside of a conundrum. 283 00:11:00,430 --> 00:11:02,470 It's a toughie. (laughs) 284 00:11:05,230 --> 00:11:07,270 And final question of the round. 285 00:11:07,370 --> 00:11:09,910 One point for every correct answer. 286 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:11,670 Name the noble gases. 287 00:11:11,770 --> 00:11:14,010 Oh, noble gases? We got this. Yeah. 288 00:11:14,110 --> 00:11:16,310 I can't believe you, Marty. Courtney, please. 289 00:11:16,410 --> 00:11:18,010 Hey, hey, hey, guys, guys, can we please focus? 290 00:11:18,110 --> 00:11:19,250 We need some answers. 291 00:11:19,350 --> 00:11:20,520 {\i1}I{\i0} need some answers. 292 00:11:20,610 --> 00:11:22,150 Why did you tell me your mom would be fine 293 00:11:22,250 --> 00:11:23,580 not going to the shower? 294 00:11:23,680 --> 00:11:25,250 Because I was trying to make everyone happy. 295 00:11:25,350 --> 00:11:27,420 Oh, then, well done. Look how happy everyone is. 296 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,290 Ah. 297 00:11:29,390 --> 00:11:30,460 DAVE: Argon, 298 00:11:30,560 --> 00:11:31,960 radon, krypton, oganesson. 299 00:11:32,060 --> 00:11:33,160 Got them all. 300 00:11:33,260 --> 00:11:35,330 GEMMA: Dave, would you chill? 301 00:11:35,430 --> 00:11:37,730 Can't you see how emotional Tina is? 302 00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:40,570 Yes, uh, but you know what would make her feel better? Winning. 303 00:11:40,670 --> 00:11:42,740 Calvin, uh, number four. 304 00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:44,810 Are you sure that these are all 305 00:11:44,910 --> 00:11:47,210 the Pam Grier movies of the 1970s? 306 00:11:47,310 --> 00:11:50,210 Dave, I told you, I know my Pam Grier. 307 00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:52,710 It was me, Pam and my VCR. 308 00:11:52,810 --> 00:11:54,480 We had a thang. 309 00:11:54,580 --> 00:11:55,980 (both laugh) 310 00:11:57,520 --> 00:11:58,690 It was a friendship. 311 00:11:58,790 --> 00:12:00,420 (bell dings) 312 00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:03,320 And that's time. Pencils down. 313 00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:05,350 Look at this. 314 00:12:05,460 --> 00:12:07,600 It's a damn travesty. 315 00:12:09,130 --> 00:12:11,300 Marty, we got five blank questions, man. 316 00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:12,840 Courtney was distracting me. 317 00:12:12,930 --> 00:12:14,700 You could have just made up some answers, Marty. 318 00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:17,100 Apparently, lies are your specialty. 319 00:12:18,670 --> 00:12:20,240 And I had to go to a real dark place 320 00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:22,740 to name all these serial killers. 321 00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:24,510 And for what? 322 00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:33,220 Marty, we need to do something about this. 323 00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:35,220 Okay, don't worry. 324 00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:37,120 I have a solution. 325 00:12:37,220 --> 00:12:40,120 We just give her the baby. 326 00:12:45,470 --> 00:12:48,910 I'm not giving your mom my baby. 327 00:12:50,670 --> 00:12:53,170 Okay, yeah, when you say it like that, of course... 328 00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:58,340 This, uh, might be the skinny piña colada talking, 329 00:12:58,450 --> 00:13:01,820 but, uh, you guys blow. 330 00:13:03,180 --> 00:13:04,850 Come on, Dave, our rideshare is here. 331 00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:06,950 We got to get home to Grover. Ooh, Grover. 332 00:13:07,050 --> 00:13:10,320 Furry blue Muppet, debuted on {\i1}Sesame Street{\i0} in 1970. 333 00:13:10,420 --> 00:13:12,360 Booyah. 334 00:13:12,460 --> 00:13:14,400 (grunts) 335 00:13:14,490 --> 00:13:15,990 I bet you didn't expect to have trivia winners 336 00:13:16,100 --> 00:13:18,100 in your car tonight, huh? 337 00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:23,410 And, yes, I did have a piña colada. 338 00:13:23,500 --> 00:13:25,670 Ask me if I paid for it. You can ask me. 339 00:13:25,770 --> 00:13:27,510 Okay, Dave, Dave. Calm down. Ask me. Uh, sir? 340 00:13:27,610 --> 00:13:32,480 Sir, sir, I requested a chatty driver, and I'd like to chat. 341 00:13:34,450 --> 00:13:36,090 Nice night, huh? 342 00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:38,890 Dad? Lamar? 343 00:13:38,990 --> 00:13:40,760 Where did you get this car? 344 00:13:40,850 --> 00:13:42,250 It's a loaner. 345 00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:44,760 Is this one of the Fusebox cars? 346 00:13:44,860 --> 00:13:46,730 Well, now you're just jumping to conclusions. 347 00:13:46,830 --> 00:13:48,600 Am I? 348 00:13:48,700 --> 00:13:50,640 These are Fusebox floor mats. (Gemma gasps) 349 00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:54,840 I didn't want to get the car dirty. 350 00:13:54,940 --> 00:13:58,210 A good way to not get it dirty would be not to steal it. 351 00:13:59,210 --> 00:14:00,310 Steal it? 352 00:14:00,410 --> 00:14:02,610 The kids call it a "side hustle." 353 00:14:02,710 --> 00:14:05,350 The owner literally handed me the keys 354 00:14:05,450 --> 00:14:07,350 and told me to take good care of it. 355 00:14:07,450 --> 00:14:10,750 I don't think he meant to pick up passengers in it. 356 00:14:12,190 --> 00:14:14,560 You didn't hear the way he said it. 357 00:14:14,650 --> 00:14:16,890 (groans) (car powers off) 358 00:14:17,930 --> 00:14:19,100 What happened? 359 00:14:19,190 --> 00:14:21,490 I don't know. The car just stopped. 360 00:14:21,590 --> 00:14:22,930 Why? 361 00:14:23,030 --> 00:14:24,660 Don't ask me. It's not my car. 362 00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:26,400 Well... 363 00:14:26,500 --> 00:14:28,340 When was the last time you charged it? 364 00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:29,610 You know, I've been meaning to look up 365 00:14:29,700 --> 00:14:30,640 how often you got to do that. 366 00:14:30,740 --> 00:14:32,910 ♪ ♪ 367 00:14:33,010 --> 00:14:34,310 Hey, morning, Calvin. 368 00:14:34,410 --> 00:14:36,310 Just, uh, dropping off your new favorite employee. 369 00:14:36,410 --> 00:14:37,510 Yeah. Hey, Lamar, 370 00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:39,350 the silver Hyundai we worked on yesterday, 371 00:14:39,450 --> 00:14:40,780 it's only half charged. 372 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,420 Hmm, uh, charger must be broken. 373 00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:44,020 Yeah, I bet that's what it is. (chuckles) 374 00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:46,220 I'm sure that's what it is. Has to be what it is. 375 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:48,020 Happens to phone chargers, happens to car chargers. 376 00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:49,220 Case closed. 377 00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:52,020 Well-well, didn't we run diagnostics 378 00:14:52,130 --> 00:14:54,370 on all of the chargers? Well, in that case, 379 00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:55,960 could be something else, could be anything else. 380 00:14:56,060 --> 00:14:57,960 Could be a million things. Yeah. 381 00:14:58,070 --> 00:15:00,010 It is a mystery that, frankly, may never be solved. 382 00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:03,140 In fact, we might as well stop trying. 383 00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:05,080 Yeah, you should definitely stop. 384 00:15:05,170 --> 00:15:08,170 Lamar, would you please plug the Hyundai up to another charger? 385 00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:09,650 You got it, boss. Thank you. 386 00:15:09,740 --> 00:15:11,140 Thanks for covering for me. 387 00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:12,680 You're a good son. 388 00:15:12,780 --> 00:15:16,320 Yeah, maybe, but I'm a terrible friend. 389 00:15:16,420 --> 00:15:19,020 You know, that's the first time I've ever lied to Calvin. 390 00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:21,620 I mean, except for the time that I told him his gazpacho 391 00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:23,060 wasn't too salty. 392 00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:24,500 It was inedible. 393 00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:26,490 It was like eating a bowl of ocean. 394 00:15:28,060 --> 00:15:29,700 ♪ ♪ 395 00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:31,840 (children babbling over TV) 396 00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:36,140 Hey, Mom? 397 00:15:37,340 --> 00:15:38,410 Can we talk? 398 00:15:38,510 --> 00:15:40,580 Sure. 399 00:15:40,670 --> 00:15:44,210 Just watching home movies, when things were simple. 400 00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:46,850 Just me and Mama's little babies. 401 00:15:46,950 --> 00:15:48,550 Aww. 402 00:15:48,650 --> 00:15:50,550 Is that Marty in the school play? 403 00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:54,320 Yeah. He was terrible. He just stood there. 404 00:15:56,060 --> 00:15:57,730 I was playing a tree. 405 00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:02,700 Okay. Mom? Uh... 406 00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:04,700 I need you to know how sorry I am. 407 00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:07,040 Okay? This whole thing was all my fault. 408 00:16:07,130 --> 00:16:08,930 No, it's not, Marty. 409 00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:12,980 It all started because I made an awful, stupid mistake, 410 00:16:13,070 --> 00:16:14,770 forgetting to invite you. 411 00:16:14,870 --> 00:16:16,270 It hurt your feelings, 412 00:16:16,380 --> 00:16:18,550 and I am so sorry. 413 00:16:18,650 --> 00:16:22,550 I guess I could have been a little more understanding. 414 00:16:22,650 --> 00:16:24,850 I know what baby brain is like. 415 00:16:24,950 --> 00:16:26,690 (chuckles) One time, I got confused 416 00:16:26,790 --> 00:16:29,390 and put breast milk in Calvin's coffee. 417 00:16:32,060 --> 00:16:34,230 Ew. He loved it. 418 00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:36,870 Ew. Ew. 419 00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:39,860 But that's it exactly. 420 00:16:39,970 --> 00:16:41,470 (sighs) I'm so scattered. 421 00:16:41,570 --> 00:16:44,310 I'm screwing up left and right. 422 00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:48,340 But I don't just want you to be a part of this baby's life. 423 00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:49,710 I need you. 424 00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:52,310 You do? 425 00:16:52,410 --> 00:16:54,980 I do. My mom is 2,000 miles away. 426 00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:56,480 MARTY: Yeah, and we're both gonna be working full-time, 427 00:16:56,580 --> 00:17:00,080 so we gonna need somebody to dump this baby on. 428 00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:02,590 You'd dump that baby on me? 429 00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:06,660 (laughs): Ooh... 430 00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:07,830 Tina? 431 00:17:07,930 --> 00:17:09,600 Not now, Gemma! 432 00:17:11,930 --> 00:17:13,430 Uh, but it's an emergency. 433 00:17:13,530 --> 00:17:15,330 I've got clumpy gravy on the stove 434 00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:16,810 and I don't know what to do. 435 00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:22,440 Gemma, I thought we agreed you would never attempt gravy again. 436 00:17:22,540 --> 00:17:24,510 You don't have what it takes. 437 00:17:24,610 --> 00:17:27,950 Okay, before you say anything else hurtful. 438 00:17:29,020 --> 00:17:30,520 ALL: Surprise! 439 00:17:30,620 --> 00:17:32,090 What is happening? 440 00:17:32,190 --> 00:17:34,430 It's a baby shower. Well, actually, 441 00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:36,960 it's a grandma shower for our baby's Glammy T. 442 00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:39,460 That's me. 443 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:40,760 (laughs) 444 00:17:40,860 --> 00:17:43,160 Here you go. Oh, my God-- oh... 445 00:17:43,260 --> 00:17:46,930 Look, I know I said I forgave you earlier, but I was lying. 446 00:17:47,030 --> 00:17:48,930 Now I forgive you. 447 00:17:50,140 --> 00:17:51,370 Ooh! 448 00:17:52,770 --> 00:17:54,140 Ooh, let me steal one of these. 449 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:55,470 (chuckles) 450 00:18:00,850 --> 00:18:03,420 He knows. Who? 451 00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:05,590 Calvin. He's on to us. 452 00:18:05,690 --> 00:18:07,860 I walked past him with a tray of pigs in a blanket, 453 00:18:07,950 --> 00:18:10,890 and he said, "Let me steal one of those." 454 00:18:13,090 --> 00:18:14,890 Seems pretty innocent. 455 00:18:14,990 --> 00:18:16,930 Excuse me. Oh, man. 456 00:18:17,030 --> 00:18:19,530 These things are so good, man, they should be a crime. 457 00:18:19,630 --> 00:18:21,730 (soft laughter) 458 00:18:21,830 --> 00:18:23,500 They're not that good. 459 00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:25,170 What are you talking about? 460 00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:26,500 Stop toying with me. 461 00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:32,310 God, you're like a cat, and I'm like your little mouse. 462 00:18:32,410 --> 00:18:34,910 Son, it's okay. He's racked with guilt. 463 00:18:35,010 --> 00:18:37,410 Calvin, you know that car that wasn't charged? 464 00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:41,360 It's because I drove it for a ridesharing service last night. 465 00:18:41,450 --> 00:18:44,750 Whoa, whoa. You took a customer's car from the Fusebox? 466 00:18:44,860 --> 00:18:46,760 You got to understand, I'm desperate to make money 467 00:18:46,860 --> 00:18:48,400 so I can come around more. 468 00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:51,200 I-I just got my family back and I don't want to lose them. 469 00:18:51,300 --> 00:18:53,540 But I told Dave to lie to you about it, 470 00:18:53,630 --> 00:18:55,370 and for that, I'm sorry. 471 00:18:55,470 --> 00:18:59,040 Oh, but you're not sorry about the grand theft auto? 472 00:19:01,210 --> 00:19:02,740 That, too? 473 00:19:05,650 --> 00:19:07,590 Look, I'm sorry, Calvin. 474 00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:11,380 You know, Dave, I've never known you to be a liar. 475 00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:13,650 I mean, you've been a lot of other things. 476 00:19:13,750 --> 00:19:15,950 A nuisance, a pest, 477 00:19:16,060 --> 00:19:20,370 a pain in the ass, an overtalker, a bad dresser. 478 00:19:25,060 --> 00:19:27,030 But I know if you lied, then, 479 00:19:27,130 --> 00:19:29,870 it must have been for an important reason. 480 00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:31,870 It was. 481 00:19:31,970 --> 00:19:33,910 All right, I guess this one time, 482 00:19:34,010 --> 00:19:35,610 I'm just gonna look past it. 483 00:19:35,710 --> 00:19:37,450 So I can keep my job? 484 00:19:37,540 --> 00:19:39,010 Oh, no. You're fired. 485 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:42,220 I'm just not gonna call the police. 486 00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:44,390 Okay. Well, thank you. 487 00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:47,380 But I tell you what, I know for a fact 488 00:19:47,490 --> 00:19:50,260 that Motor Boys on Marengo, they're hiring. 489 00:19:50,360 --> 00:19:53,330 And I would be more than happy to write you 490 00:19:53,430 --> 00:19:55,530 a glowing recommendation. 491 00:19:55,630 --> 00:19:57,300 You'd do that for me? 492 00:19:57,400 --> 00:19:59,270 No. 493 00:19:59,370 --> 00:20:00,970 He's doing it for me. 494 00:20:01,970 --> 00:20:03,340 No. 495 00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:05,110 I'm doing it because I hate Motor Boys. 496 00:20:06,940 --> 00:20:10,240 Feel free to steal everything under the roof. 497 00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:12,680 I will. 498 00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:16,450 Let's see. (gasps) 499 00:20:16,550 --> 00:20:17,790 Oh, so sweet. 500 00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:19,180 Now I don't have to say it. 501 00:20:19,290 --> 00:20:21,160 Yeah. Aww. 502 00:20:22,290 --> 00:20:23,390 So cute. Mm-hmm. 503 00:20:23,490 --> 00:20:24,620 Glammy T? 504 00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:27,690 Open this one next. Ooh. 505 00:20:27,790 --> 00:20:30,630 (gasps) Oh, my goodness. 506 00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:32,330 Ah! How cute. 507 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:35,540 (gasps) 508 00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:39,280 Matching sneakers! 509 00:20:39,370 --> 00:20:41,410 (wailing) 510 00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:45,520 (crying) 511 00:20:48,380 --> 00:20:51,620 You know, I've seen Mama ugly-cry before, but Marty? 512 00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:54,160 Well, he is his mama's boy. 513 00:21:01,930 --> 00:21:04,830 Captioning sponsored by CBS 514 00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:07,830 and TOYOTA. 515 00:21:07,930 --> 00:21:09,130 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 35952

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