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1
00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:07,740
TV HOST:
...what detectives found
in that trunk
2
00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:09,580
may have looked like hamburger,
3
00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:12,420
but it wasn't even from a cow.
4
00:00:12,510 --> 00:00:13,980
It's a body.
5
00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:16,080
Everybody knows it's a body.
6
00:00:17,050 --> 00:00:19,920
Nobody puts loose meat
in the trunk.
7
00:00:21,190 --> 00:00:22,590
Hey, Calvin.
8
00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:24,560
We just wanted to stop in
and see how you're feeling.
9
00:00:24,660 --> 00:00:27,230
Ah, you know,
I'm a little sore...
10
00:00:27,330 --> 00:00:29,600
(gasps) Oh, are you watching
Murder On Trial?
11
00:00:29,700 --> 00:00:32,300
I love this show. I bet
you think it's the husband.
12
00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:34,440
Of course it's the husband.
It's always the husband.
13
00:00:34,540 --> 00:00:36,410
Nope. It's the deacon.
14
00:00:36,500 --> 00:00:37,730
I should've known
15
00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:39,480
you couldn't trust no deacon
in leather pants.
16
00:00:39,570 --> 00:00:41,910
Mm-mm.
All right.
17
00:00:42,010 --> 00:00:43,650
Calvin, it's time
you take a break
18
00:00:43,740 --> 00:00:45,110
from this TV
and start to take in
19
00:00:45,210 --> 00:00:46,480
the wonders of nature.
20
00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:48,980
Might I suggest bird-watching?
21
00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:50,420
You may not.
22
00:00:52,050 --> 00:00:54,950
I like my birds dead,
breaded and with a biscuit.
23
00:00:55,920 --> 00:00:57,920
Which you will not be having.
24
00:00:58,030 --> 00:01:00,230
You heard what
the doctor said.
25
00:01:00,330 --> 00:01:01,500
You got to cut down
on the sodium
26
00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:02,870
while you're on these meds.
27
00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:04,160
Oh, yeah,
and sodium's in everything.
28
00:01:04,270 --> 00:01:05,370
You know what?
Let me go to the kitchen
29
00:01:05,470 --> 00:01:06,910
and clear out
all the salty snacks.
30
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,440
(imitates screeching tires)
31
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:12,400
Go, go. Go, go.
All right. Hey.
32
00:01:12,510 --> 00:01:15,750
Thank you, Dave,
but Calvin's got it.
33
00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:17,740
He's gonna be
eating leafy greens,
34
00:01:17,850 --> 00:01:19,750
while I'm getting my hair done,
and staying off that leg.
35
00:01:19,850 --> 00:01:20,750
Right, Calvin?
36
00:01:20,850 --> 00:01:21,850
Yes, babe.
37
00:01:21,950 --> 00:01:23,250
All right.
Take care, Calvin.
38
00:01:23,350 --> 00:01:25,190
Yeah. If you need me,
I'm just a phone call away.
39
00:01:25,290 --> 00:01:27,060
Okay.
All right.
(door opens)
40
00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:28,660
Calvin, don't forget,
41
00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:30,500
they're delivering
our new towel warmer.
42
00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:31,590
I know.
43
00:01:31,690 --> 00:01:32,990
You have to sign for it.
44
00:01:33,090 --> 00:01:34,830
Yes, you told me.
45
00:01:34,930 --> 00:01:36,530
Do you have a pen?
46
00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:39,730
Babe, I'm sure
the deliveryman will have a pen.
47
00:01:39,830 --> 00:01:42,330
Mm-mm. See, that's
the kind of assumption
48
00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:44,910
that will lead me
to not getting my towel warmer.
49
00:01:46,510 --> 00:01:48,210
Here's a black and a blue pen.
50
00:01:48,310 --> 00:01:49,540
Okay.
51
00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:51,280
Bye, sweetie.
52
00:01:51,380 --> 00:01:53,120
(door opens, closes)
53
00:01:53,210 --> 00:01:55,710
TV HOST:
Coming up after Murder On Trial,
54
00:01:55,820 --> 00:01:57,090
it's Dead in Wyoming,
55
00:01:57,190 --> 00:01:59,690
followed by an all-new Stabbed.
56
00:01:59,790 --> 00:02:03,090
How can there be
this much murder?
57
00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:06,520
I mean, soon enough, there won't
be anybody left alive
58
00:02:06,630 --> 00:02:07,660
to watch these shows.
59
00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:11,270
* Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood *
60
00:02:11,370 --> 00:02:12,610
* Welcome to the hood. *
61
00:02:18,470 --> 00:02:22,910
Man, I can't believe
I'm doing this stupid Dave idea.
62
00:02:24,880 --> 00:02:28,280
Oh, look, a brown bird.
63
00:02:31,350 --> 00:02:34,850
Oh, wow, a black bird.
64
00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:39,230
Hey, man, what are you doing?
65
00:02:39,330 --> 00:02:42,170
Either walk or run, pick one.
66
00:02:45,130 --> 00:02:46,230
Well, hello.
67
00:02:47,670 --> 00:02:50,670
Who's your new friend,
Old Man Beasley?
68
00:02:50,770 --> 00:02:54,110
Is that the walk of shame
I'm seeing?
69
00:02:55,580 --> 00:02:57,250
Mm-mm-mm.
70
00:02:59,180 --> 00:03:00,380
Oh, look at you.
71
00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:03,320
Picking up after your dog.
(chuckles)
72
00:03:03,420 --> 00:03:05,160
Now that's a good neighbor.
73
00:03:06,150 --> 00:03:08,190
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Hold on!
74
00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:11,130
Oh, hell no!
75
00:03:12,290 --> 00:03:14,630
Don't be throwing your trash
in my trash!
76
00:03:16,230 --> 00:03:17,200
Daddy!
Hell!
77
00:03:17,300 --> 00:03:19,170
(laughs)
78
00:03:20,530 --> 00:03:22,170
Hey, Pop, you hungry?
79
00:03:22,270 --> 00:03:25,040
Hey, hey, Malcolm, you know that
empty house across the street?
80
00:03:25,140 --> 00:03:27,280
Well, last week,
somebody moved in.
81
00:03:27,380 --> 00:03:28,780
Okay.
82
00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:32,280
Get this, they just had
six bags of groceries
83
00:03:32,380 --> 00:03:34,780
and three bags of ice delivered.
84
00:03:36,180 --> 00:03:41,050
I think they're turning into one
of those Airbnb party houses.
85
00:03:41,150 --> 00:03:42,750
Because of some groceries?
86
00:03:42,860 --> 00:03:46,530
No. Because they also got
a karaoke machine.
87
00:03:46,630 --> 00:03:48,800
Oh. Okay.
88
00:03:48,900 --> 00:03:50,700
Uh, Pop, you are sounding
like a Karen.
89
00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:53,300
Karens be right sometimes.
90
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,100
(mouthing)
91
00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:57,270
Look, uh, I'm just saying,
you're gonna be trying to sleep,
92
00:03:57,370 --> 00:03:58,800
and all you're gonna hear is...
93
00:03:58,910 --> 00:04:01,280
(imitates dance beat)
94
00:04:01,380 --> 00:04:04,650
(imitates woman): "Oh, my God,
I can't find my shoes."
95
00:04:06,950 --> 00:04:09,820
On the off chance you are
hallucinating from hunger,
96
00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:10,950
let's get some food in you,
okay?
97
00:04:11,050 --> 00:04:12,020
What do you feel like eating?
98
00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:13,490
Oh, oh, oh, you know what?
99
00:04:13,590 --> 00:04:15,960
I want that, uh,
pulled pork sandwich
100
00:04:16,060 --> 00:04:18,030
from the place on Cresthaven.
Yeah.
101
00:04:18,130 --> 00:04:19,030
No.
102
00:04:19,130 --> 00:04:20,570
Come on.
103
00:04:20,660 --> 00:04:22,190
I am under strict orders
from Mama.
104
00:04:22,300 --> 00:04:23,640
Healthy and low sodium.
105
00:04:23,730 --> 00:04:26,000
Well, your mama's not here
right now, all right?
106
00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:27,700
Man...
She's at the salon
getting her hair done,
107
00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:29,070
so she doesn't have a say.
108
00:04:29,170 --> 00:04:31,070
But-but just in case,
109
00:04:31,170 --> 00:04:33,510
stop at that salad place
on the way home.
110
00:04:33,610 --> 00:04:35,110
You want a salad, too?
111
00:04:35,210 --> 00:04:37,110
No, I just want the bag.
112
00:04:38,280 --> 00:04:40,350
Your mama might check the trash.
113
00:04:40,450 --> 00:04:41,820
You know what I'm saying?
114
00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:43,690
Here.
115
00:04:43,780 --> 00:04:45,650
And pay cash for the sandwich.
116
00:04:45,750 --> 00:04:46,980
Go on, now.
117
00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,760
(cell phone rings)
118
00:04:51,860 --> 00:04:53,230
Yeah. (grunts softly)
119
00:04:53,330 --> 00:04:54,230
Calvin?
120
00:04:54,330 --> 00:04:55,530
Oh, hey, babe.
121
00:04:55,630 --> 00:04:57,500
I didn't order no sandwich.
122
00:04:57,600 --> 00:04:59,440
No, I got an alert on my phone
123
00:04:59,530 --> 00:05:01,830
saying they tried to deliver
my towel warmer,
124
00:05:01,940 --> 00:05:03,410
but nobody was home.
125
00:05:03,500 --> 00:05:05,770
No, babe, I've been right here
the whole time.
126
00:05:05,870 --> 00:05:08,640
Well, I'm gonna request
a redelivery.
127
00:05:08,740 --> 00:05:11,240
Oh, I got to go,
the purse guy is here.
128
00:05:11,350 --> 00:05:12,280
Excuse me.
129
00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:14,310
How much is that Gucci?
130
00:05:14,420 --> 00:05:15,920
Tina, don't get that, it's fake!
131
00:05:16,020 --> 00:05:17,420
Oh, bye.
132
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,460
Why you got your blinds closed?
133
00:05:23,890 --> 00:05:26,430
What you trying to hide?
134
00:05:28,460 --> 00:05:30,460
Dad, what are you doing?
135
00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:32,260
I'm trying to figure out
136
00:05:32,370 --> 00:05:36,140
why this degenerate across the
street has his blinds closed.
137
00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:37,410
He's probably
one of those crazy people
138
00:05:37,510 --> 00:05:38,740
who thinks he's being watched.
139
00:05:38,840 --> 00:05:40,540
Exactly.
140
00:05:42,340 --> 00:05:44,840
Dad, you asked me to come home
right away
141
00:05:44,950 --> 00:05:46,950
to help you
with a computer problem.
142
00:05:47,050 --> 00:05:48,450
Marty, I need you
to find out
143
00:05:48,550 --> 00:05:50,990
what's going on with that house
across the street.
144
00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:52,750
That's not a computer problem.
145
00:05:52,850 --> 00:05:54,820
Son, there's nothing
more important
146
00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:56,890
than shutting down
a party house.
147
00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:59,460
Those things are popping up
everywhere.
148
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:03,630
Causing parking problems,
noise at all types of hours,
149
00:06:03,730 --> 00:06:08,230
strangers coming and going,
and all-night karaoke orgies.
150
00:06:12,110 --> 00:06:14,110
I won't have that
in my neighborhood.
151
00:06:14,210 --> 00:06:17,780
It's situations like this
that makes me want an HOA,
152
00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:20,380
except I don't want to pay
$45 a month
153
00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:23,580
to have somebody tell me
I can't have a purple door.
154
00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:24,910
You don't have a purple door.
155
00:06:25,020 --> 00:06:27,720
No, but I want the option.
156
00:06:29,660 --> 00:06:31,660
Come on, Marty. Come on,
you got to help me figure out
157
00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:34,100
who owns that house
across the street,
158
00:06:34,190 --> 00:06:35,760
see if it's on a rental site.
159
00:06:35,860 --> 00:06:37,800
You know, hey,
check the dark web.
160
00:06:39,570 --> 00:06:41,440
Daddy, all of that is
on the regular web.
161
00:06:42,540 --> 00:06:44,310
(phone rings)
Okay, okay.
162
00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:45,470
Hey, baby.
163
00:06:45,570 --> 00:06:47,540
(dryer whirring)
Calvin, the app says
164
00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:49,610
that the package
is out for redelivery.
165
00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:51,750
Please don't miss it this time!
166
00:06:51,850 --> 00:06:53,590
Are you in a helicopter?
167
00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:55,150
I'm under the dryer!
168
00:06:55,250 --> 00:07:00,220
Tina, it is some crazy stuff
going on in our neighborhood.
169
00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:01,520
Nefarious.
170
00:07:01,620 --> 00:07:02,650
It's what?
171
00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:03,900
Nefarious!
172
00:07:03,990 --> 00:07:05,930
Who's Darius?
173
00:07:06,030 --> 00:07:08,070
Why are we talking about Darius?
174
00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:10,730
I don't know!
You brought him up!
175
00:07:10,830 --> 00:07:12,330
Look, I got to go, baby. Okay.
176
00:07:13,770 --> 00:07:15,310
Hey, would you grab me
some water?
177
00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:17,170
I need to take my pills.
Yeah, I got you.
178
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:18,840
(knocking at door)
179
00:07:18,940 --> 00:07:20,510
Ooh, ooh, that's probably
your mama's package.
180
00:07:20,610 --> 00:07:22,140
G-Get the door for me.
On it.
181
00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:24,410
Stay right there!
Okay.
182
00:07:24,510 --> 00:07:26,610
Not you. Get the door.
183
00:07:26,710 --> 00:07:28,680
(knocking)
Don't move.
184
00:07:28,780 --> 00:07:30,720
Make up your mind!
185
00:07:30,820 --> 00:07:33,360
(vehicle departing)
186
00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:36,030
Oh, damn it. He's gone.
187
00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:37,520
You see what you did?
188
00:07:37,630 --> 00:07:39,160
Actually, I don't.
189
00:07:45,100 --> 00:07:47,140
Find anything yet, Marty?
No.
190
00:07:47,230 --> 00:07:51,770
I've checked Airbnb, VRBO,
and karaoke-orgies-dot-com,
191
00:07:51,870 --> 00:07:54,310
which... which does exist,
192
00:07:54,410 --> 00:07:56,050
but you do not want to go there.
193
00:07:56,140 --> 00:07:58,180
Well, keep looking, son.
194
00:07:58,280 --> 00:08:01,680
The truth is out there.
195
00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:04,150
All we got to do...
196
00:08:04,250 --> 00:08:06,350
(gasps) God, Dave!
197
00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:12,260
Hey, neighbor.
198
00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:14,200
Uh, found this
in the front door.
199
00:08:14,290 --> 00:08:16,130
Oh, thanks, Dave.
(door closes)
200
00:08:16,230 --> 00:08:18,600
Damn delivery driver thinks
he's Usain Bolt.
201
00:08:20,230 --> 00:08:22,400
So, is there anything
I can help you with?
202
00:08:22,500 --> 00:08:25,070
Dave, you know what?
I got a question for you.
203
00:08:25,170 --> 00:08:27,470
How do you feel about
living across the street
204
00:08:27,580 --> 00:08:30,180
from an Airbnb party house?
205
00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:33,020
Not good at all!
206
00:08:33,110 --> 00:08:35,340
We got to nip this thing
in the bud.
207
00:08:35,450 --> 00:08:38,320
For the record, I'm not seeing
a listing for that house.
208
00:08:38,420 --> 00:08:39,790
Are you on the dark web?
209
00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:43,390
Yeah, sure.
210
00:08:44,590 --> 00:08:45,920
Good. Good.
211
00:08:46,030 --> 00:08:48,800
Good, good.
Now, Dave, make yourself useful
212
00:08:48,900 --> 00:08:50,670
and go and get that guy's name.
213
00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:53,430
O-Okay, well, how do I do that?
214
00:08:53,530 --> 00:08:55,130
(chuckles):
It's a piece of cake.
215
00:08:55,240 --> 00:08:57,140
Just go through his mailbox.
216
00:08:58,140 --> 00:08:59,780
Calvin, that's a federal crime.
217
00:08:59,870 --> 00:09:01,210
Since when?
218
00:09:01,310 --> 00:09:02,710
Since mail.
219
00:09:04,310 --> 00:09:07,750
Okay. Well, Dave, I'm not
telling you to commit a crime.
220
00:09:07,850 --> 00:09:09,690
I'm just saying,
221
00:09:09,780 --> 00:09:12,820
if you innocently walked
past the mailbox
222
00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:16,690
and accidentally rammed into it,
223
00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:20,360
and the mail
inadvertently fell out,
224
00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:22,660
and you mistakenly
shuffle through it...
225
00:09:25,130 --> 00:09:29,400
...and by happenstance
saw the guy's name,
226
00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:31,070
that's not on you.
227
00:09:31,170 --> 00:09:34,410
That's on the inquisitive nature
of universe.
228
00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:40,080
Gemma, if I go down for this,
229
00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:42,020
wait for me.
230
00:09:43,220 --> 00:09:45,320
So, what's this
guy done, anyway?
231
00:09:45,420 --> 00:09:46,760
Oh, uh...
Oh. Oh!
232
00:09:46,850 --> 00:09:48,050
Brace yourself, Gemma.
233
00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:50,830
He's purchased food
and been nothing but quiet.
234
00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:52,060
Hmm.
235
00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:53,930
Oh, that's not good.
236
00:09:54,030 --> 00:09:55,570
It's always the quiet ones.
237
00:09:56,560 --> 00:09:57,800
Who's always the quiet ones?
238
00:09:57,900 --> 00:09:59,870
The murderers.
239
00:10:01,940 --> 00:10:03,080
Murderers?
240
00:10:03,170 --> 00:10:05,740
Gemma, listen to yourself.
241
00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:09,080
You've been watching those shows
so long, you're seeing things.
242
00:10:09,180 --> 00:10:10,310
Thank you.
243
00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:12,410
Things the rest of us
are missing.
244
00:10:12,510 --> 00:10:13,950
Right?
245
00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:25,350
Ah.
246
00:10:26,860 --> 00:10:28,900
That mailbox just hit me.
247
00:10:38,570 --> 00:10:40,640
Gosh!
248
00:10:40,740 --> 00:10:42,240
Forget it.
249
00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:44,970
MAILMAN:
Dave!
250
00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:46,120
(chuckles)
251
00:10:47,450 --> 00:10:48,550
You okay, man?
252
00:10:48,650 --> 00:10:49,990
Yeah, no, I'm great.
I was just...
253
00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:51,520
trying to pay our new neighbor
a visit.
254
00:10:51,620 --> 00:10:52,990
What's his name, again?
I'm so terrible with names.
255
00:10:53,090 --> 00:10:54,990
Save me the embarrassment.
Uh...
256
00:10:55,090 --> 00:10:56,660
Huey? Dewey? Louie?
257
00:10:57,760 --> 00:10:59,330
It's on the tip of my tongue.
258
00:11:00,790 --> 00:11:02,890
(chuckles)
259
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:06,240
It's on the-- It's on the tip
of my tongue.
260
00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:10,440
Well, when someone says that,
261
00:11:10,540 --> 00:11:11,610
you're supposed
to give me the name.
262
00:11:11,710 --> 00:11:13,950
I don't know.
263
00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:16,580
Hey, have you ever
actually met this guy?
264
00:11:16,680 --> 00:11:18,850
I'm not answering that
without a lawyer present.
265
00:11:21,850 --> 00:11:25,590
Okay, look, Randall,
I just need this guy's name.
266
00:11:25,690 --> 00:11:27,730
I'm trying to save
this neighborhood.
267
00:11:29,220 --> 00:11:30,590
All right, Dave.
268
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,430
You know I'm not supposed
to let you look at the mail,
269
00:11:32,530 --> 00:11:34,570
but you are the only person
on this entire route
270
00:11:34,660 --> 00:11:36,730
that tips me for Christmas.
271
00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:38,500
You buy me birthday cards.
Well...
272
00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:42,640
And, uh, you were there
for me in my dark times.
273
00:11:44,540 --> 00:11:45,610
Look at it.
274
00:11:48,580 --> 00:11:50,620
Thanks, Randall.
275
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,510
And you know what?
Don't worry about it.
276
00:11:52,610 --> 00:11:53,980
She's gonna come back.
277
00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:56,520
She ain't.
She, uh,
278
00:11:56,620 --> 00:11:58,490
she married
a FedEx guy, and, uh...
279
00:11:58,590 --> 00:12:01,290
I can't compete
with that.
280
00:12:04,620 --> 00:12:07,560
All right.
Here you go, Pop, lunch.
281
00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:10,830
Aw, that's what
I'm talking about.
282
00:12:10,930 --> 00:12:12,660
It's been a full day
of solving crimes.
283
00:12:12,770 --> 00:12:15,310
I am starving.
(Gemma chuckles)
284
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:18,070
Ooh, did you see the 48 Hours
285
00:12:18,170 --> 00:12:19,810
about the quiet neighbor,
but it turned out
286
00:12:19,910 --> 00:12:22,680
he fed his wife to piranhas?
287
00:12:22,780 --> 00:12:24,680
Where'd they get the piranhas?
288
00:12:24,780 --> 00:12:26,550
I think you can just
get piranhas.
289
00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:29,550
Calvin!
290
00:12:32,020 --> 00:12:34,190
Uh, Malcolm,
291
00:12:34,290 --> 00:12:35,890
there's bread on this salad.
292
00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:40,300
Really?
The fake bag trick?
293
00:12:40,390 --> 00:12:41,430
I was bullied, Mama.
294
00:12:41,530 --> 00:12:43,130
I know, baby, I know.
295
00:12:43,230 --> 00:12:46,570
Look, babe, in my defense,
you're not supposed to be here.
296
00:12:46,670 --> 00:12:48,410
Since when do you get
your hair done
297
00:12:48,500 --> 00:12:49,800
in less than eight hours?
298
00:12:49,900 --> 00:12:52,140
Well, it was a slow gossip week,
you know?
299
00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:54,040
Nobody got cheated on,
nobody got fat.
300
00:12:54,140 --> 00:12:56,380
Everybody's thriving.
301
00:12:58,180 --> 00:13:01,120
Okay, I got the guy's name.
302
00:13:01,210 --> 00:13:02,650
I feel so dirty about it.
303
00:13:02,750 --> 00:13:04,190
But also exhilarated.
304
00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:05,820
I don't know
how to feel.
305
00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:07,960
Is this a gateway crime?
Am I becoming a career criminal
306
00:13:08,060 --> 00:13:10,300
like my father?
Am I okay with that?
307
00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:13,030
Dave, just...
just tell us the name.
308
00:13:13,130 --> 00:13:16,670
(sighs)
His name is Simon Throckmorton.
309
00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:17,660
I knew it!
310
00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:19,460
(gasps) You did?
311
00:13:19,570 --> 00:13:21,640
Well, not that name
specifically.
312
00:13:21,730 --> 00:13:23,100
I just knew he had a name.
313
00:13:24,740 --> 00:13:26,810
What? Wait a minute,
what is going on here?
314
00:13:26,910 --> 00:13:29,810
Babe, I'm not gonna
sugarcoat it for you.
315
00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:32,280
We got a murderer
living across the street.
316
00:13:32,380 --> 00:13:33,380
What?
317
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:34,980
All the signs are there.
CALVIN: Yeah.
318
00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:37,680
Like what?
Like, there are no signs,
319
00:13:37,780 --> 00:13:39,920
which is the biggest sign.
320
00:13:41,990 --> 00:13:43,260
Okay, no, no, no.
Y'all are tripping.
321
00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:45,700
Y'all been cooped up
watching these murder shows.
322
00:13:45,790 --> 00:13:47,230
Y'all are losing
your damn minds.
323
00:13:47,330 --> 00:13:49,030
Yeah, I agree, Mama.
324
00:13:49,130 --> 00:13:50,500
You two watch
so much true crime
325
00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:52,240
you see murder everywhere.
Ooh!
326
00:13:52,330 --> 00:13:53,830
Calvin, did you see
the second season
327
00:13:53,930 --> 00:13:54,830
of Murder Everywhere?
328
00:13:54,940 --> 00:13:56,070
It's self-contained.
329
00:13:56,170 --> 00:13:57,210
You don't have to
watch season one.
330
00:13:57,300 --> 00:13:59,240
Wait, what--
Wait a minute.
331
00:13:59,340 --> 00:14:01,680
You just can't go around
accusing people
332
00:14:01,770 --> 00:14:03,240
when they've done nothing wrong.
333
00:14:03,340 --> 00:14:04,470
Actually...
334
00:14:04,580 --> 00:14:06,750
Ooh, ooh, the dark web.
What you got?
335
00:14:07,750 --> 00:14:10,590
That name Dave found,
Simon Throckmorton?
336
00:14:10,680 --> 00:14:12,920
It's a weird name
so I searched it on Facebook,
337
00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:14,890
Linked In, Instagram.
338
00:14:14,990 --> 00:14:16,590
All of his profiles were
created last Thursday.
339
00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:18,290
(gasps)
The day he moved in.
340
00:14:18,390 --> 00:14:19,930
MARTY:
Yeah. That's not even
the weird part.
341
00:14:20,030 --> 00:14:23,800
The weirdest part is
no friends, no posts.
342
00:14:23,900 --> 00:14:25,070
Not even a profile picture.
343
00:14:25,170 --> 00:14:26,600
I knew it.
344
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:29,840
I knew that guy was suspect.
All right, well,
345
00:14:29,940 --> 00:14:31,840
how do we find out
who this guy really is?
346
00:14:31,940 --> 00:14:33,140
The dumpster.
347
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:35,840
He's been tossing his crap
in my dumpster.
348
00:14:35,940 --> 00:14:37,310
Maybe there's something
in there
349
00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:39,310
that'll let us know
who he really is.
350
00:14:39,410 --> 00:14:41,480
Can you dig through
another man's trash?
351
00:14:41,580 --> 00:14:44,750
Hey, once it's in my dumpster,
it's my trash.
352
00:14:46,790 --> 00:14:49,390
Okay, I'll go out there
and dig around.
353
00:14:49,490 --> 00:14:51,160
All right.
All right.
354
00:14:55,100 --> 00:14:57,070
Dave, are you really
gonna let your wife
355
00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:58,890
dig through a filthy dumpster?
356
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:01,270
Oh, well, I don't know.
You seemed so excited about it.
357
00:15:01,370 --> 00:15:02,770
Dave!
358
00:15:02,870 --> 00:15:05,310
All right. Malcolm,
you want to come?
359
00:15:05,410 --> 00:15:07,210
Uh, yeah. Hell no.
360
00:15:16,220 --> 00:15:17,920
CALVIN:
Is he putting on hand sanitizer
361
00:15:18,020 --> 00:15:20,720
before he goes in the dumpster?
Yeah.
362
00:15:25,530 --> 00:15:28,200
There's Throckmorton.
(all gasp)
363
00:15:28,300 --> 00:15:31,170
Boy, he looks familiar.
364
00:15:31,260 --> 00:15:33,630
Maybe because y'all been
staring at him all day.
365
00:15:36,270 --> 00:15:37,840
GEMMA:
Oh, my God.
366
00:15:37,940 --> 00:15:38,870
I know where I know him from.
367
00:15:38,970 --> 00:15:40,670
It was on that 48 Hours
368
00:15:40,770 --> 00:15:43,110
about the mob murder
in Kansas City.
369
00:15:43,210 --> 00:15:45,650
Oh, you know what,
I saw that one, too.
370
00:15:45,750 --> 00:15:48,020
Throckmorton is actually
371
00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:51,420
Salvatore "Big Sal" Molisani.
Yes! Yes!
372
00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:53,160
Isn't that name
a bit of a stereotype?
373
00:15:53,250 --> 00:15:55,720
I didn't name him, Marty.
374
00:15:55,820 --> 00:16:00,260
But that guy is a button man
for the mob.
Mm-hmm.
375
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:01,930
MALCOLM:
What's he doing with that rug?
376
00:16:02,030 --> 00:16:03,400
GEMMA: Uh-oh.
MARTY: I don't know,
There's something in it.
377
00:16:03,500 --> 00:16:05,400
Oh, snap, you guys
might be right.
378
00:16:05,500 --> 00:16:07,070
There's something heavy
in there.
379
00:16:07,170 --> 00:16:09,410
Mm-hmm. And it ain't
a standing, oscillating fan,
380
00:16:09,500 --> 00:16:12,140
I can tell you that much.
381
00:16:13,210 --> 00:16:14,480
No, that's a corpse.
(Gemma gasps)
382
00:16:14,570 --> 00:16:15,800
And he's gonna throw it
in my dumpster.
383
00:16:15,910 --> 00:16:17,880
But Dave's in the dumpster.
384
00:16:17,980 --> 00:16:19,080
CALVIN:
Ooh.
385
00:16:19,180 --> 00:16:20,680
(phone ringing)
386
00:16:21,710 --> 00:16:24,280
Hello?
Dave, you gotta get out
of there.
387
00:16:24,380 --> 00:16:25,780
Gemma, I can't right now.
388
00:16:25,890 --> 00:16:28,090
Some maniac
threw batteries away.
389
00:16:28,190 --> 00:16:30,760
You know,
that's hazardous waste.
390
00:16:30,860 --> 00:16:32,300
Dave, forget the batteries.
391
00:16:32,390 --> 00:16:33,820
I won't do it, Gemma.
392
00:16:33,930 --> 00:16:36,000
This is the only planet
we've got.
393
00:16:36,100 --> 00:16:38,670
Dave, you are in real danger.
394
00:16:38,770 --> 00:16:41,710
Oh, I know.
I also just touched raw chicken.
395
00:16:47,210 --> 00:16:49,610
Hey! Occupied!
396
00:16:49,710 --> 00:16:51,150
What the hell?
397
00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:52,440
Dave, run!
398
00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:59,190
Oh!
399
00:16:59,290 --> 00:17:00,620
What are you doing?
400
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,620
What are you doing?
401
00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:04,720
I'm throwing trash
in a dumpster.
402
00:17:04,820 --> 00:17:06,220
Why are you in there?
403
00:17:06,330 --> 00:17:09,170
Hey, man, don't try
to put this on me.
404
00:17:10,660 --> 00:17:12,330
Dave, get in here!
405
00:17:15,070 --> 00:17:16,270
Have a seat.
406
00:17:16,370 --> 00:17:18,010
What the hell?
407
00:17:21,270 --> 00:17:22,510
(cries out)
408
00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:26,870
I'm gonna call 911.
Lock the door.
409
00:17:26,980 --> 00:17:28,550
Do not let Molisani in.
410
00:17:28,650 --> 00:17:30,550
Who's Molisani?
Big Sal.
411
00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:32,420
Who's Big Sal?
Throckmorton.
412
00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:34,420
Somebody tell me
what's going on here!
413
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:36,420
They have all lost their minds,
414
00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:39,220
and my towel warmer
is God knows where.
415
00:17:39,330 --> 00:17:43,230
Uh, 911? We're at
1170 Evergreen Drive.
416
00:17:43,330 --> 00:17:44,960
There is a murderer outside.
417
00:17:45,060 --> 00:17:46,700
Oh, and we got
white people here.
418
00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:48,300
Scream, Gemma.
(screams)
419
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,240
See?
(knock at door)
420
00:17:50,340 --> 00:17:51,810
(Dave and Gemma shriek)
421
00:17:51,900 --> 00:17:54,100
They sure come fast
when you say "white folks."
422
00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:58,180
It's not the police,
it's the delivery guy.
423
00:17:58,280 --> 00:18:00,010
No, no!
Don't do it baby. Don't.
424
00:18:00,110 --> 00:18:04,210
Finally. Okay.
Thank you so much.
425
00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:07,360
All right. I'm gonna
plug this bad boy in
426
00:18:07,450 --> 00:18:09,550
and warm some towels.
427
00:18:09,660 --> 00:18:11,260
(all scream)
428
00:18:11,360 --> 00:18:14,760
Who are you people,
and what are you doing?
429
00:18:14,860 --> 00:18:17,000
Who are we?
We live here.
430
00:18:17,100 --> 00:18:18,000
Who the hell are you?
431
00:18:18,100 --> 00:18:19,900
Okay, now, Tina,
Tina, back away.
432
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:23,470
We've called 911, and they know
there's white people here.
433
00:18:24,500 --> 00:18:26,030
Don't try anything.
434
00:18:26,140 --> 00:18:28,440
I have pepper spray
in my purse next door!
435
00:18:29,910 --> 00:18:32,680
And I have raw chicken literally
all over my hands right now,
436
00:18:32,780 --> 00:18:33,850
so come get some.
437
00:18:33,950 --> 00:18:35,420
I don't know what's
going on here,
438
00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:37,320
but you better get
your ass out my house.
439
00:18:37,420 --> 00:18:38,390
Baby, get back.
440
00:18:38,490 --> 00:18:40,020
Big Sal's gonna kill us.
What?
441
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:41,690
With this?
442
00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:45,660
I'm having a panic attack.
443
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:49,900
Why are you calling me
Big Sal?
444
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:51,900
Oh, we saw you on 48 Hours.
445
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,640
We know you're a mob hit man.
446
00:18:53,730 --> 00:18:56,130
And we don't say that
about all Italian-Americans.
447
00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:58,980
We know the vast majority
are upstanding citizens.
448
00:19:00,810 --> 00:19:03,810
You idiots!
I'm not Salvatore Molisani.
449
00:19:03,910 --> 00:19:06,310
I'm the one who testified
against him.
450
00:19:06,410 --> 00:19:08,980
Oh, you're...
451
00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:11,250
Giuseppe Zabarino.
452
00:19:12,620 --> 00:19:15,490
So you're not a murderer?
No.
453
00:19:15,590 --> 00:19:17,960
Okay. Well, then, why
did you change your name?
454
00:19:18,060 --> 00:19:19,330
So I don't get killed.
455
00:19:20,590 --> 00:19:22,590
I'm in a program...
456
00:19:23,660 --> 00:19:25,760
...that protects...
457
00:19:25,870 --> 00:19:27,540
you know, witnesses.
458
00:19:27,630 --> 00:19:29,100
Oh...
459
00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:32,470
The Witness Protection Program?
(cries out)
460
00:19:34,540 --> 00:19:37,640
We're not supposed to say it,
but yes.
461
00:19:37,740 --> 00:19:39,980
I've been setting up
so my family can join me.
462
00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:42,350
So that house is
not even a party house?
463
00:19:42,450 --> 00:19:43,820
No. It's a safe house.
464
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:45,820
Well, it was a safe house.
465
00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:48,820
Ooh, that's our bad.
466
00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:52,160
Now I gotta move
my family again.
467
00:19:52,260 --> 00:19:54,030
We all gotta get
new fake names.
468
00:19:54,130 --> 00:19:58,170
Oh, my kid, he just learned
to spell Throckmorton.
469
00:19:59,270 --> 00:20:01,200
I mean, it's kinda spelled
like it sounds.
470
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:05,200
Gosh, I-I feel terrible.
471
00:20:05,310 --> 00:20:06,540
You know,
send me your new address.
472
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:09,740
We'll send you a plant
or something.
473
00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:12,680
You have no idea
how Witness Protection works.
474
00:20:15,820 --> 00:20:18,560
You know, Gemma, I think
we've learned something.
475
00:20:18,650 --> 00:20:20,250
Stop watching
those murder shows
476
00:20:20,350 --> 00:20:21,950
and stay out of
people's business?
477
00:20:22,050 --> 00:20:23,950
No.
478
00:20:24,060 --> 00:20:26,730
To always listen
to our guts.
479
00:20:26,830 --> 00:20:28,730
We knew there was
something up over there.
480
00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:33,540
Yeah, we just prevented
a known associate of the mob
481
00:20:33,630 --> 00:20:34,830
from moving onto our street.
482
00:20:34,930 --> 00:20:36,670
Hey, way to go, partner.
483
00:20:36,770 --> 00:20:38,570
Keeping our neighborhood safe.
484
00:20:38,670 --> 00:20:40,440
(knock on door)
485
00:20:40,540 --> 00:20:42,840
Pasadena police.
We had a report
486
00:20:42,940 --> 00:20:44,880
of a white woman screaming.
487
00:20:44,980 --> 00:20:49,350
Yeah, that-that would be me.
488
00:20:49,450 --> 00:20:51,220
It-it was a false alarm.
489
00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:53,790
I thought I saw a spider.
490
00:20:53,890 --> 00:20:55,090
Blondes.
491
00:21:02,530 --> 00:21:04,430
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
492
00:21:04,530 --> 00:21:06,430
and TOYOTA.
493
00:21:06,530 --> 00:21:07,730
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
34710
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