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1
00:00:05,673 --> 00:00:08,676
I can't believe little Marty
gonna be a father.
2
00:00:08,776 --> 00:00:11,179
I remember him sitting
in this chair,
3
00:00:11,279 --> 00:00:12,880
crying his little eyes out.
4
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:15,683
You've been cutting his hair
a long time, huh?
5
00:00:15,783 --> 00:00:17,185
Oh, no, that was
a couple of months ago,
6
00:00:17,285 --> 00:00:18,919
after he broke up
with Necie.
7
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,588
(laughter)
8
00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:22,022
It wasn't about Necie!
9
00:00:22,123 --> 00:00:24,592
You nicked me,
and you know it!
10
00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:26,694
So, Calvin, you're about
to be a grandpa.
11
00:00:26,794 --> 00:00:28,562
You gonna get
some Velcro shoes?
12
00:00:28,662 --> 00:00:30,731
(laughter)
13
00:00:30,831 --> 00:00:32,600
Nah. One of those,
uh, pill trays
14
00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:34,602
with every day
of the week on it.
Oh.
15
00:00:34,702 --> 00:00:36,404
Hey, hey, but don't
mix up your days.
16
00:00:36,504 --> 00:00:37,838
My grandmother did that.
17
00:00:37,938 --> 00:00:39,407
She took her Thursday
on Tuesday.
18
00:00:39,507 --> 00:00:41,209
She was gone by Friday.
19
00:00:41,309 --> 00:00:42,710
Well, you keep talking smack,
20
00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:44,145
you're gonna see
your grandmama today.
21
00:00:44,245 --> 00:00:46,147
(laughter)
22
00:00:46,247 --> 00:00:48,749
Calvin, you should embrace
becoming a grandfather.
23
00:00:48,849 --> 00:00:51,485
You know, my dad couldn't be
more excited about it.
24
00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:53,654
Mm.
I thought your kid was 13.
25
00:00:53,754 --> 00:00:55,789
Ah, yes,
but my dad was indisposed
26
00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:57,391
for a number of those years.
27
00:00:57,491 --> 00:01:00,594
A number of years
determined by a judge.
28
00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:03,030
(laughter)
29
00:01:03,131 --> 00:01:05,366
I'm just saying, you should
look for the positives.
30
00:01:05,466 --> 00:01:06,367
You know, as a grandfather,
31
00:01:06,467 --> 00:01:08,436
you'll be revered
for your wisdom.
32
00:01:08,536 --> 00:01:11,472
Marty is going to need a lot
of advice on how to raise a kid.
33
00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:14,108
You know what?
That is true.
34
00:01:14,208 --> 00:01:15,909
I am the master.
35
00:01:16,009 --> 00:01:17,311
Eh...
36
00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:19,613
Eh...
What?
37
00:01:19,713 --> 00:01:21,182
Look, Dad,
you did a great job.
38
00:01:21,282 --> 00:01:23,083
I-I'm just planning
on raising my kid
39
00:01:23,184 --> 00:01:24,952
with a lot less yelling.
40
00:01:25,052 --> 00:01:27,788
And a lot less belt.
41
00:01:27,888 --> 00:01:29,557
It's-it's a new era.
42
00:01:29,657 --> 00:01:31,259
Things are different now.
MALCOLM:
Yeah.
43
00:01:31,359 --> 00:01:33,060
When I fell off my bike
and hit my head,
44
00:01:33,161 --> 00:01:34,562
you told me to go take a nap.
45
00:01:34,662 --> 00:01:36,464
Are you alive?
46
00:01:36,564 --> 00:01:37,431
Yes.
47
00:01:37,531 --> 00:01:39,066
Then it worked.
48
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,802
Dad, no offense,
49
00:01:41,902 --> 00:01:44,505
but I'm approaching fatherhood
as more of a science.
50
00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:46,274
You see, I'm going
to read all the books,
51
00:01:46,374 --> 00:01:47,775
I'm gonna absorb all the data.
52
00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:49,610
Then I will apply it
in the real world.
53
00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:51,945
I'm going
to get my PhD in D-A-D.
54
00:01:52,045 --> 00:01:53,514
QUE:
So, Calvin,
55
00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:55,149
what's the kid going
to call you?
56
00:01:55,249 --> 00:01:57,518
Gramps? Papa?
57
00:01:57,618 --> 00:01:58,886
No. Pee-paw!
58
00:01:58,986 --> 00:02:00,654
Oh, you know,
Pee-paw has a nice ring to it.
59
00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:02,490
You know, I may start
calling you Pee-paw.
60
00:02:02,590 --> 00:02:04,292
You better not call me
no damn Pee-paw.
61
00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:08,662
I just started liking you,
Dave. Don't ruin it.
62
00:02:11,232 --> 00:02:13,167
Guys, I'm not some old,
63
00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:15,336
stuffy, grandpa type,
all right?
64
00:02:15,436 --> 00:02:17,405
In fact, I'm taking
my lady out
65
00:02:17,505 --> 00:02:19,540
to see Earth, Wind & Fire
tomorrow.
Okay.
66
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:23,177
Yeah.
Ooh, what time's
that concert? 5:00?
67
00:02:23,277 --> 00:02:25,546
(laughter)
68
00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:28,382
Oh, that's gonna get in the
way of his early-bird special!
69
00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:30,518
(laughter)
70
00:02:31,785 --> 00:02:33,487
No tip?
71
00:02:33,587 --> 00:02:35,155
Yeah, I got a tip for you.
72
00:02:35,256 --> 00:02:37,625
Don't clown your customers
before you get your tip.
73
00:02:39,427 --> 00:02:41,295
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
74
00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:42,630
♪ Welcome to the hood. ♪
75
00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:50,170
So you're really going to let
your dad take Grover out solo?
76
00:02:50,271 --> 00:02:51,772
I don't know why
you're so surprised.
77
00:02:51,872 --> 00:02:53,907
We're chill.
We're not helicopter parents.
78
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,209
Yes, you are.
79
00:02:56,210 --> 00:02:57,378
We totally are.
80
00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:00,248
(over stereo): * I pull up
with the blick, blick ♪
81
00:03:00,348 --> 00:03:01,782
♪ I pull up,
make your clique flip ♪
82
00:03:01,882 --> 00:03:04,218
♪ I pull off in the whip ♪
83
00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:05,619
♪ And I skert ♪
84
00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:06,887
♪ Skert ♪ ♪ Skert ♪
85
00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:09,022
♪ Skert... ♪ ♪ Skert... ♪
86
00:03:12,059 --> 00:03:13,327
What's up, y'all?
87
00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:17,030
Hey, Calvin.
Uh, what was that?
88
00:03:17,130 --> 00:03:19,600
Oh. Oh, yeah.
That was lit, right?
89
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:22,035
That was that...
That's that new Lil Side Baby.
90
00:03:22,135 --> 00:03:23,371
Oh. Oh, so,
91
00:03:23,471 --> 00:03:26,440
did your radio get stuck
on the wrong station?
92
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,141
That wasn't the radio, dawg.
93
00:03:30,778 --> 00:03:34,081
That-that was on my phone.
I-I made a new playlist. Dope.
94
00:03:34,181 --> 00:03:35,683
Oh. What else is on it?
95
00:03:35,783 --> 00:03:37,851
Just that one song.
96
00:03:37,951 --> 00:03:40,588
Okay, Calvin, is this because
we were ribbing you
97
00:03:40,688 --> 00:03:42,423
at the barbershop
about being a grandfather?
98
00:03:42,523 --> 00:03:45,593
Look, man, I'm nobody's
grandpa, all right?
99
00:03:45,693 --> 00:03:49,196
I'm just a man who has a son
who's having a baby.
100
00:03:50,264 --> 00:03:53,501
Uh, I don't know
what you're talking about,
101
00:03:53,601 --> 00:03:56,370
'cause I cannot wait for
that baby to call me "Grandma."
102
00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:57,371
Aw.
103
00:03:57,471 --> 00:03:59,373
Or Lovey. Or-or Gammy.
104
00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:01,008
Or Gammy T.
105
00:04:01,108 --> 00:04:04,412
Ooh, Glammy T.
Let's lock that one in.
106
00:04:06,314 --> 00:04:08,682
Hey, so what's
a blick, blick?
107
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:12,653
Okay, well, if you have to ask,
then the music's not for you.
108
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,923
Boomers, right?
109
00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:19,293
♪ Blick, blick,
skert, skert, oh! ♪
110
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:23,564
Yo.
Hey.
111
00:04:23,664 --> 00:04:25,098
Oh, what's all this?
112
00:04:25,198 --> 00:04:27,034
Oh, Amazon Prime delivered
some parenting books.
113
00:04:27,134 --> 00:04:29,202
I'm reading up.
By the time this baby arrives,
114
00:04:29,303 --> 00:04:30,771
I'll know everything
I need to know.
115
00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:32,706
Okay. (laughs)
116
00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:34,207
How to Raise a Green Baby.
117
00:04:34,308 --> 00:04:35,976
Mm-hmm.
118
00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:38,312
I would hope you're
having a Black baby.
119
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:41,315
No. No, see,
this book teaches you
120
00:04:41,415 --> 00:04:43,050
how to have a kid
that's carbon neutral.
121
00:04:43,150 --> 00:04:44,485
Oh.
Yeah.
122
00:04:44,585 --> 00:04:46,754
What the hell
does that mean?
123
00:04:46,854 --> 00:04:51,291
I don't know,
but in 600 pages, I will.
124
00:04:51,392 --> 00:04:54,194
Oh, uh, guess who I'm going out
for drinks with tomorrow.
Who?
125
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,864
My old buddy
Chili Mangold.
126
00:04:56,964 --> 00:04:58,699
Oh, your old college teammate?
127
00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:00,568
Yup.
What's he doing in town?
128
00:05:00,668 --> 00:05:02,970
We're, uh, playing
San Diego State tomorrow.
129
00:05:03,070 --> 00:05:05,138
He's their new
head coach.
Oh.
130
00:05:05,238 --> 00:05:07,708
Nice. Uh, head coach. That's...
131
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:09,276
Wow. That's-that's big-time.
132
00:05:09,377 --> 00:05:11,211
Yeah.
133
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:13,581
He's a lot younger
than you, isn't he?
(coughs)
134
00:05:16,183 --> 00:05:17,951
Two years, Marty.
Oh.
135
00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:19,387
(laughs)
That's not a lot.
136
00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:20,388
Oh. Yeah.
137
00:05:20,488 --> 00:05:23,323
Plus, he has
a summer birthday, so...
138
00:05:23,424 --> 00:05:25,158
Yeah, well, good for him.
139
00:05:25,258 --> 00:05:26,927
Uh, okay, I'm going to start
140
00:05:27,027 --> 00:05:29,162
with How to Speak Baby
with Your Baby.
Yeah.
141
00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:31,264
(laughs) You know, uh,
142
00:05:31,365 --> 00:05:33,667
just because Chili
is a little ahead of me,
143
00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:35,669
that does not mean
that I'm behind, so...
144
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:37,204
That's fair.
145
00:05:37,304 --> 00:05:39,239
Yeah. Yeah,
he's a head coach, Marty, okay,
146
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:41,775
but San Diego State--
they are not that good.
147
00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:43,977
Yes, they are undefeated,
okay, but so were we
148
00:05:44,077 --> 00:05:46,179
till we hit that rough patch
a couple of weeks ago.
149
00:05:48,315 --> 00:05:49,717
Malcolm, are you okay?
150
00:05:49,817 --> 00:05:52,252
Yes, I am okay,
and I am very, very happy
151
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:55,155
for Chili Mangold!
Okay.
152
00:05:55,255 --> 00:05:58,158
Okay. Uh, you seem
a bit fussy.
153
00:05:58,258 --> 00:06:00,894
And according to this book,
you might have gas.
154
00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:03,431
Can I practice burping you?
155
00:06:03,531 --> 00:06:05,298
Can I practice punching you?
156
00:06:05,399 --> 00:06:06,500
Let me burp you, man. Come on.
157
00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:08,301
(overlapping arguing)
158
00:06:08,402 --> 00:06:10,303
Let me freaking go!
Let me go!
159
00:06:10,404 --> 00:06:13,106
Let me burp you!
Let me burp you!
160
00:06:15,175 --> 00:06:17,511
It's good to see you, Dad.
You're looking good.
161
00:06:17,611 --> 00:06:18,646
Oh, thanks, son.
162
00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:21,449
Notice anything
different about me?
163
00:06:21,549 --> 00:06:23,116
You got your ankle monitor off!
164
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:25,052
I did. I'm a free man.
165
00:06:25,152 --> 00:06:27,354
Except for weekly urine tests.
166
00:06:29,322 --> 00:06:31,559
Lamar! Thank you
so much for coming.
167
00:06:31,659 --> 00:06:33,060
Aww.
168
00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:34,562
Yeah, we both have
such crazy days,
169
00:06:34,662 --> 00:06:36,830
it really is helpful that you
can drive Grover around for us.
170
00:06:36,930 --> 00:06:38,031
Oh, I'm happy to do it.
171
00:06:38,131 --> 00:06:40,934
I missed so much time
with you growing up,
172
00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:43,170
because of mandatory
minimum sentences.
173
00:06:43,270 --> 00:06:44,872
(chuckles)
174
00:06:44,972 --> 00:06:47,541
I want to enjoy
every minute with Grover.
175
00:06:47,641 --> 00:06:49,309
So Dave says
you bought a car?
176
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:50,778
That I did.
177
00:06:50,878 --> 00:06:53,447
As in paid for?
Legally, it's yours?
178
00:06:55,683 --> 00:06:57,317
Yes, Gemma.
179
00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:02,355
Not bad, huh? 1980.
180
00:07:02,456 --> 00:07:04,625
Still got
the original tires.
181
00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:09,029
Low mileage?
182
00:07:09,129 --> 00:07:11,932
Odometer's taped over,
but I'd guess so.
183
00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:14,167
So, where's Grover?
184
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:15,168
No.
185
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:16,203
Excuse me?
186
00:07:16,303 --> 00:07:17,905
Not happening.
Grover can't ride in that.
187
00:07:18,005 --> 00:07:19,006
It's not safe.
188
00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:20,808
The seat belt is a rope.
189
00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:27,347
You can drive Dave's car.
Dave can drive yours to work.
190
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:28,949
So it's too dangerous
for Grover to ride in,
191
00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:30,183
but it's okay for me?
192
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,720
It's fine. Just get it
back before dark.
193
00:07:32,820 --> 00:07:34,722
Those headlights do not work.
194
00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:37,858
You know what?
I-I'll just take an Uber.
195
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:39,627
Yeah...
196
00:07:39,727 --> 00:07:41,228
DAVE:
Oh, hey, Marty!
197
00:07:41,328 --> 00:07:42,395
You remember
my dad.
198
00:07:42,496 --> 00:07:45,699
Well, how could I forget
a white man named Lamar?
199
00:07:46,934 --> 00:07:48,101
I hear you're going
to be a father.
200
00:07:48,201 --> 00:07:49,102
Good for you.
201
00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:50,370
Yeah.
202
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:51,572
Oh, you're reading
Ready, Set, Toddler.
203
00:07:51,672 --> 00:07:52,773
It's great, isn't it?
204
00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:54,074
Well, it's okay.
205
00:07:54,174 --> 00:07:55,543
It's a little
touchy-feely for me.
206
00:07:55,643 --> 00:07:57,778
Oh, well, let it
touch you, bro.
207
00:07:59,513 --> 00:08:00,548
Are you sure?
208
00:08:00,648 --> 00:08:03,383
Yeah. I mean, trust me,
it is amazing.
209
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:05,819
You know, that book was
my GPS to fatherhood.
210
00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:07,988
It's probably why Grover
has such great life skills.
211
00:08:08,088 --> 00:08:09,156
GROVER:
Uh, Dad?
212
00:08:09,256 --> 00:08:12,025
A little help
with this hoodie?
213
00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:13,727
Oh, uh...
214
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:15,596
Son, that's a pair
of sweatpants.
215
00:08:18,465 --> 00:08:19,567
Oh.
216
00:08:19,667 --> 00:08:21,268
Uh...
217
00:08:21,368 --> 00:08:24,237
Why don't you go inside and
take another crack at it, champ?
218
00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:26,073
You got this.
219
00:08:27,675 --> 00:08:29,843
Ah.
220
00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:32,946
You know, I thought
I smelled burning oil out here.
221
00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:35,015
Did this thing
even pass inspection?
222
00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:37,150
Ha! I wish.
223
00:08:38,451 --> 00:08:40,353
I hear congratulations
are in order.
224
00:08:40,453 --> 00:08:42,189
Oh, well, yes, they are.
225
00:08:42,289 --> 00:08:43,757
Welcome to the Grandpa Club.
226
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:45,092
Tip from an old pro?
227
00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:47,094
Keep hard candy in
the front sweater pocket,
228
00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:48,495
kids go bananas for 'em.
229
00:08:48,596 --> 00:08:52,265
All right,
I'm not "hard candy" old.
230
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:53,867
Well, I don't know, Calvin,
you do make sounds
231
00:08:53,967 --> 00:08:55,869
when you get up, and...
232
00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:57,938
well, and when
you sit down.
233
00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:59,506
It's the furniture, Dave.
234
00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:01,975
Oh, so it's
the furniture that goes...
235
00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:03,877
(groans) Damn.
236
00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:08,649
Okay. Look, y'all just hating on
a man that's in his prime.
237
00:09:08,749 --> 00:09:11,652
I mean, come on,
could an old man do this?
238
00:09:11,752 --> 00:09:13,320
Oh, watch out now, Daddy.
239
00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:14,988
Watch out, Daddy. Okay.
Huh?
240
00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:16,123
Or Shabba Doo like this?
241
00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:17,991
(loud snap)
Oh!
242
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:20,728
(grunts)
243
00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:22,863
Dad?
244
00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:24,331
Dad, are-are you okay?
245
00:09:24,431 --> 00:09:27,100
(grunts) Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay.
Yeah, I'm okay. Yeah.
246
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,136
(moaning)
247
00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:30,771
Yeah, this that...
248
00:09:30,871 --> 00:09:33,273
This that new
Lil Side Baby shuffle.
249
00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:35,943
It's the Side Baby.
250
00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:38,646
Skert, skert!
251
00:09:43,784 --> 00:09:45,085
Okay, good, they're
only a block away.
Well, put your phone away.
252
00:09:45,185 --> 00:09:46,687
We don't want them to know
we're tracking them.
253
00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:48,355
Well, what are they gonna think
we're doing standing out here?
254
00:09:48,455 --> 00:09:50,123
Crap. Act natural.
255
00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:55,295
Oh, look,
they're back already.
256
00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:58,732
(horn honks)
Sup, Mom?
257
00:10:05,405 --> 00:10:06,473
(car door closes)
258
00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:10,543
What's happening?
259
00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:14,247
Grandpa Lamar gave me
my first driving lesson.
260
00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:16,784
In a car? On the street?
261
00:10:16,884 --> 00:10:18,986
Mostly on the street.
262
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,656
You let a 13-year-old
drive a car?
263
00:10:22,756 --> 00:10:24,024
Oh, please.
264
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:25,759
If he can smoke,
he can drive.
265
00:10:27,194 --> 00:10:28,195
I can smoke?
266
00:10:28,295 --> 00:10:29,329
No!
No!
267
00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:33,801
All right, well,
I talked to Dr. Fisher.
268
00:10:33,901 --> 00:10:35,202
He's gonna fit you in.
269
00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:37,470
I don't need to see
a doctor, babe, I'm fine.
270
00:10:37,570 --> 00:10:39,873
No, you're not. Your knee's
the size of a cantaloupe.
271
00:10:43,777 --> 00:10:45,879
Ain't nothing wrong
with a big knee.
272
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:47,915
I think there is.
273
00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:50,217
Look, babe, I'm telling you
all I need is
274
00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:52,152
a little Bengay and a nap.
275
00:10:52,252 --> 00:10:54,922
Uh-huh. Okay. Well,
are we still going to see
276
00:10:55,022 --> 00:10:56,189
Earth, Wind & Fire tonight?
277
00:10:56,289 --> 00:10:57,390
Sure.
278
00:10:57,490 --> 00:11:00,160
You know, with the traffic
and parking.
279
00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:01,161
You know, we better get going.
280
00:11:01,261 --> 00:11:03,030
Come on.
Sure thing. Nothing to it.
281
00:11:03,130 --> 00:11:05,032
Yep, yep. No doubt.
282
00:11:05,132 --> 00:11:07,034
(cries out)
283
00:11:07,134 --> 00:11:09,002
Whoo. Whoo!
284
00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:10,904
All right.
285
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:12,740
Okay, you know what?
I'm sorry, babe.
286
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:15,075
I know you really wanted
to see Earth Wind & Fire, but...
287
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:17,510
Oh, no, no, it's fine.
288
00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:19,179
No, it's not fine.
289
00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:21,982
You know... I'm old.
290
00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:23,884
The band old.
291
00:11:23,984 --> 00:11:25,352
Everybody old.
292
00:11:27,955 --> 00:11:29,689
I mean, they're already down
to two elements.
293
00:11:29,790 --> 00:11:31,391
I mean, by the time they go
back on tour,
294
00:11:31,491 --> 00:11:33,526
it'll just be Wind.
295
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:39,432
Okay, so let's get you
to the doctor
296
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:40,433
so you could get better.
297
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:43,971
Better to do what?
Nobody needs me.
298
00:11:44,071 --> 00:11:45,072
Come on.
299
00:11:45,172 --> 00:11:46,406
What are you talking
about, Calvin?
300
00:11:46,506 --> 00:11:47,607
Come on, let's just
face it, Tina,
301
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,242
my boys don't need me anymore.
302
00:11:49,342 --> 00:11:51,945
Marty is about to
become a father.
303
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:54,214
But did he call me
for advice?
304
00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:57,584
No. He just ordered
a bunch of books.
305
00:11:57,684 --> 00:11:59,953
Even Dave fixed
his own lawn mower
306
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,488
without my help.
307
00:12:01,588 --> 00:12:03,891
He just looked at
some video on YouTube.
308
00:12:05,692 --> 00:12:07,594
He tried to ask you,
309
00:12:07,694 --> 00:12:09,462
and you sprayed him
with the hose.
310
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:10,864
That's our process.
311
00:12:13,366 --> 00:12:15,068
Come on, Grover,
we're gonna be late.
312
00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:17,704
Dave, now your dad's
texting me
313
00:12:17,805 --> 00:12:19,873
because you won't
take his calls.
(sighs)
314
00:12:19,973 --> 00:12:21,474
Maybe we overreacted.
315
00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:23,811
It was one driving lesson.
Grover's safe.
316
00:12:23,911 --> 00:12:25,312
Is it that big a deal?
317
00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:28,215
It's a big deal to me.
318
00:12:28,315 --> 00:12:30,317
You know, driving lessons are
a "dad" thing.
319
00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:32,786
Ever since he was
crawling around,
320
00:12:32,886 --> 00:12:34,154
I've been thinking
about the day
321
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:36,623
where I got to put him behind
the wheel of a car.
322
00:12:36,723 --> 00:12:38,658
Well, you can still do that.
323
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:41,161
Yeah, but it won't be
the first time.
324
00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:43,496
He probably just took Grover
around the block.
325
00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:45,933
Wrong. They drove all the way
to that donut place.
326
00:12:46,033 --> 00:12:47,767
You know, the one with
the big, giant donut?
327
00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:50,770
And even worse, Lamar
only got enough donuts
328
00:12:50,871 --> 00:12:53,440
for him and Grover.
329
00:12:53,540 --> 00:12:56,276
That's just rude.
330
00:12:56,376 --> 00:12:57,978
That driving lesson
was a moment
331
00:12:58,078 --> 00:13:00,213
that I'd been waiting for.
332
00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:01,514
Lamar stole it
333
00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:03,583
just like he steals everything.
334
00:13:05,953 --> 00:13:08,388
Hey, man.
Hmm?
335
00:13:08,488 --> 00:13:10,257
You said there weren't
any more donuts.
336
00:13:10,357 --> 00:13:12,292
No, I said there were
no extra donuts.
337
00:13:14,027 --> 00:13:15,395
Your pants are inside out.
338
00:13:19,766 --> 00:13:21,701
(sighs heavily)
Hey.
339
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:24,704
Well, it's official.
340
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,940
Your brother is a loser.
341
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:28,608
You lost the game?
342
00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:32,312
No, Marty, we won the game.
I'm just losing at life.
343
00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:35,048
Chili Mangold is
a head coach,
344
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:37,317
and I'm just an assistant
batting coach.
345
00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:39,219
I'm not where I should be
in life.
346
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:42,222
Oh, man, well, I'm sure
you'll be head coach someday.
347
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:43,590
Yeah, sure, Marty.
348
00:13:43,690 --> 00:13:46,693
As soon as, like,
eight people above me die.
349
00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:49,596
I mean, that could happen.
350
00:13:49,696 --> 00:13:52,265
You guys are out
in the sun a lot.
351
00:13:52,365 --> 00:13:54,534
I-I shouldn't have said that.
352
00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:56,236
I mean, man, if I'm
really serious about
353
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:57,504
becoming a head coach,
I'm gonna have to
354
00:13:57,604 --> 00:13:59,406
move someplace
where there's openings.
355
00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:01,108
Hello, Tulsa.
356
00:14:01,208 --> 00:14:02,409
I hear Tulsa's nice.
357
00:14:03,776 --> 00:14:05,512
There are no job openings
in Tulsa.
358
00:14:06,646 --> 00:14:07,881
Then why you keep saying Tulsa?
359
00:14:07,981 --> 00:14:08,916
I don't know, Marty.
360
00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:10,217
Why won't you just let me vent?
361
00:14:10,317 --> 00:14:12,485
Because I'm freaking out,
too, man.
362
00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:14,087
I've been up all night
reading these parenting books,
363
00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:15,422
and it's useless.
364
00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:17,257
It's all psychobabble,
and no two of them agree.
365
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:18,658
But they all say if you don't
do it their way,
366
00:14:18,758 --> 00:14:20,493
you're gonna end up
raising a monster.
367
00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:23,763
What did I get myself into?
368
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:26,066
I should just move
to Tulsa with you.
369
00:14:28,435 --> 00:14:30,203
There's no job in Tulsa.
370
00:14:32,639 --> 00:14:34,007
TV REPORTER:
I'm here live at the Forum,
371
00:14:34,107 --> 00:14:37,177
where the stars have come out
to see Earth, Wind & Fire
372
00:14:37,277 --> 00:14:39,279
on the final night
of their tour.
373
00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:42,449
And there's a rumor
the Queen Bey herself
374
00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:43,917
might join the band onstage...
375
00:14:44,017 --> 00:14:45,885
(TV turns off)
376
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,456
I'm sorry, babe.
377
00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:50,823
That's okay, baby.
378
00:14:50,924 --> 00:14:53,226
Who wants to deal with
all that traffic?
Yeah.
379
00:14:53,326 --> 00:14:55,295
Overpriced food.
380
00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:57,397
Floor seats dead center.
381
00:14:57,497 --> 00:14:59,232
(knock on door)
382
00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:02,535
And look, we would have missed
who's knocking at our door.
383
00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:06,239
Oh, Lamar.
384
00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:07,607
Yay.
385
00:15:10,443 --> 00:15:12,145
Hi, Tina.
386
00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:14,547
Can I please borrow
Calvin for a minute?
387
00:15:14,647 --> 00:15:16,183
Of course.
Thank you.
388
00:15:17,217 --> 00:15:18,751
Wow, really hurt
yourself there, huh?
389
00:15:18,851 --> 00:15:21,721
I guess that's why they
call it break dancing.
390
00:15:21,821 --> 00:15:23,256
(chuckles)
391
00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:26,093
You are definitely
Dave's dad.
392
00:15:27,727 --> 00:15:29,096
And that's why I'm here.
393
00:15:29,196 --> 00:15:30,930
I really stepped
in it with him.
394
00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:33,566
I gave Grover
a driving lesson.
395
00:15:33,666 --> 00:15:37,604
Really? The boy can
barely ride an escalator.
396
00:15:39,206 --> 00:15:40,240
He did okay.
397
00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:42,575
Took out a mailbox,
scared some ducks.
398
00:15:44,744 --> 00:15:46,613
I guess I was trying to
share an experience
399
00:15:46,713 --> 00:15:49,316
with my grandson that I never
got to have with my son,
400
00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:50,550
and now Dave's really mad,
401
00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:51,818
and I don't know
what to do about it.
402
00:15:51,918 --> 00:15:55,555
Lamar, look, you can't
change the past.
403
00:15:55,655 --> 00:15:58,658
You're gonna have to stop
obsessing over what you missed.
404
00:15:58,758 --> 00:16:00,827
But I missed his
entire childhood,
405
00:16:00,927 --> 00:16:02,962
and I'll never get it back.
406
00:16:03,063 --> 00:16:05,698
Pop!
407
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:08,001
I think I've done
my whole life wrong.
408
00:16:09,002 --> 00:16:10,337
What are you talking about?
409
00:16:10,437 --> 00:16:12,072
I'm not even close
to my goals in life,
410
00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:15,142
and meanwhile, Chili Mangold
is younger than me,
411
00:16:15,242 --> 00:16:16,343
and he is killing it.
412
00:16:16,443 --> 00:16:19,346
Good God, look at
the size of your knee!
413
00:16:19,446 --> 00:16:20,813
MARTY:
Daddy!
414
00:16:20,913 --> 00:16:23,116
Daddy!
415
00:16:23,216 --> 00:16:24,384
Daddy, help me.
416
00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:26,653
I am not ready to
be a father. Whoa!
417
00:16:27,887 --> 00:16:29,689
You need to get that
checked out.
418
00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:33,360
Malcolm, get out of my way.
I am having a crisis!
419
00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:35,128
Oh, please, man,
I'm having a crisis, too.
420
00:16:35,228 --> 00:16:36,229
Oh, oh, let me guess.
421
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:37,964
Is it Chili Mangold?
Yeah.
422
00:16:38,065 --> 00:16:40,500
I've had it up to here
with Chili Mangold, okay?
423
00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:46,906
Daddy, I am totally unprepared
to be a father.
424
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:49,576
I know nothing, and then
I read everything,
425
00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:50,943
and I feel like I know
even less.
426
00:16:51,044 --> 00:16:52,579
Like, how do you stop
a nosebleed?
427
00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:53,713
Head forward.
Head back.
428
00:16:53,813 --> 00:16:56,349
See? See?
429
00:16:56,449 --> 00:16:58,585
What about fevers,
or temper tantrums?
430
00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:00,220
Or what if they suck their toes?
431
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:03,790
Oh, it's so cute when they
suck their little toes.
432
00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:05,858
Is it cute? Sure.
But is it okay?
433
00:17:05,958 --> 00:17:07,394
Like, are toes
a choking hazard?
434
00:17:07,494 --> 00:17:09,629
What about pennies,
Triscuits, Legos?
435
00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:11,198
Legos?!
436
00:17:11,298 --> 00:17:13,900
That baby won't have Legos
for six years, man. Move!
437
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,068
I'm having a problem now.
438
00:17:15,168 --> 00:17:17,204
Malcolm, Marty, that's enough.
439
00:17:19,272 --> 00:17:21,741
Malcolm, you can't
judge yourself
440
00:17:21,841 --> 00:17:24,677
by Chili Mangold
or anybody else.
441
00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:26,946
You're running your own race,
442
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,748
and if you put in the work, son,
443
00:17:28,848 --> 00:17:32,519
everything that's meant for you
will be yours, trust me.
444
00:17:32,619 --> 00:17:33,953
All right, Pop.
445
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:35,122
And, Marty,
446
00:17:35,222 --> 00:17:38,191
all those books,
they don't mean anything.
447
00:17:38,291 --> 00:17:42,595
In the words of the great
Black philosopher, Mike Tyson...
448
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:48,067
"Every man has a plan until
449
00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:50,270
he gets punched in the face."
450
00:17:52,439 --> 00:17:54,807
And that's what having
a baby is like.
451
00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:58,145
Yeah, but I don't want to
get punched in the face.
452
00:17:58,245 --> 00:18:00,913
Well, it's a little late
for that.
453
00:18:02,449 --> 00:18:05,152
But trust me,
I will be in your corner,
454
00:18:05,252 --> 00:18:07,487
and I will help you
fight that baby.
455
00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:11,858
And-and, Lamar, look,
456
00:18:11,958 --> 00:18:14,494
I know you missed out
on Dave's childhood,
457
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:18,431
but trust me, no matter
how old your kid is,
458
00:18:18,531 --> 00:18:21,501
he will always be your kid.
459
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:24,437
Yeah, maybe there's still
a little kid left in Dave.
460
00:18:24,537 --> 00:18:26,273
Maybe?
(laughs)
461
00:18:26,373 --> 00:18:29,176
If there is any man that
still wants to be a little kid,
462
00:18:29,276 --> 00:18:30,610
it's Dave.
463
00:18:32,179 --> 00:18:34,647
Okay, fellas, time's up.
Calvin needs his rest.
464
00:18:34,747 --> 00:18:36,249
Move along.
Go on, now.
465
00:18:37,250 --> 00:18:38,518
Thanks, Pop.
Thank you.
466
00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:40,520
Thanks, Dad.
467
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:43,122
You know, Calvin,
I was listening,
468
00:18:43,223 --> 00:18:46,359
and for someone who thinks
he's old and useless,
469
00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:49,829
you just helped three
grown men solve their problems.
Hmm.
470
00:18:49,929 --> 00:18:51,264
I guess I did, didn't I?
471
00:18:51,364 --> 00:18:53,633
Yes, you did.
Oh, well.
472
00:18:53,733 --> 00:18:55,568
If I'm gonna be a grandfather,
473
00:18:55,668 --> 00:18:58,471
then I need to
get myself together.
Mm-hmm.
474
00:18:58,571 --> 00:19:00,373
You mind driving me
to urgent care?
475
00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:02,242
Oh, of course, my little baby.
476
00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:03,643
Okay, be easy, be easy.
477
00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:05,178
I got you.
478
00:19:05,278 --> 00:19:06,846
All right.
479
00:19:06,946 --> 00:19:08,315
You know what, babe?
480
00:19:08,415 --> 00:19:10,049
And I'm sorry about missing
481
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:12,018
the whole Earth, Wind & Fire
thing.
482
00:19:12,118 --> 00:19:14,521
But you know who's coming
to town next month?
483
00:19:14,621 --> 00:19:16,055
Who?
484
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:17,390
Lil Side Baby.
485
00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:18,991
Let me hear that song again.
486
00:19:19,091 --> 00:19:20,260
(music playing)
487
00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:21,494
♪ I pull up in a new whip ♪
488
00:19:21,594 --> 00:19:22,495
♪ And I skert! ♪
489
00:19:22,595 --> 00:19:23,563
Yeah.
490
00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:24,864
BOTH:
♪ Skert, skert ♪
491
00:19:24,964 --> 00:19:26,399
♪ You skert
♪ Skert, skert ♪
492
00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,167
♪ Then you skert
♪ Skert, skert ♪
493
00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:30,637
♪ Ooh, it hurt! ♪
494
00:19:30,737 --> 00:19:32,305
♪ It hurt, hurt.
Let's go, let's go.
495
00:19:36,576 --> 00:19:38,177
Hey, son.
Yeah.
496
00:19:38,278 --> 00:19:41,548
Keep rolling, old man, I got
nothing to say to you.
497
00:19:42,549 --> 00:19:44,451
Well, I've got something
to say to you.
498
00:19:45,452 --> 00:19:47,920
I guess I was trying
to connect with Grover
499
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,489
because I wanted to make up
500
00:19:49,589 --> 00:19:51,157
for never connecting with you.
501
00:19:51,258 --> 00:19:52,692
You still haven't.
502
00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:54,527
I know, and I'm sorry.
503
00:19:54,627 --> 00:19:57,330
I overreached,
and it will not happen again.
504
00:19:57,430 --> 00:20:01,868
Lamar, did you teach Grover
how to shank somebody
505
00:20:01,968 --> 00:20:04,471
with a sharpened toothbrush?
Come on.
506
00:20:05,572 --> 00:20:07,574
In my defense,
that was meant for
507
00:20:07,674 --> 00:20:09,509
dire situations only.
508
00:20:09,609 --> 00:20:11,778
Fighting cavities,
there's your priority.
509
00:20:17,183 --> 00:20:18,518
What are you doing
with that tire?
510
00:20:18,618 --> 00:20:20,720
Remember when you were
eight years old,
511
00:20:20,820 --> 00:20:23,323
and you really wanted me
to make you a tire swing?
512
00:20:23,423 --> 00:20:24,491
You never did.
513
00:20:24,591 --> 00:20:26,493
Until now.
514
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:30,830
Dad, I am not
eight years old anymore.
515
00:20:31,831 --> 00:20:34,867
So, no swing?
516
00:20:38,338 --> 00:20:41,474
Well...
517
00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:43,042
we can put it up.
518
00:20:44,777 --> 00:20:48,047
But you cannot push me.
519
00:20:48,147 --> 00:20:50,116
Maybe just a little
to get me going.
520
00:20:56,656 --> 00:20:59,526
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
521
00:20:59,626 --> 00:21:02,529
and TOYOTA.
522
00:21:02,629 --> 00:21:03,830
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
34832
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