Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,350 --> 00:00:07,787
[Man] Now, this is what we sent them:
"Out of 800,000 subscribers
to our magazine,
2
00:00:07,854 --> 00:00:11,381
our research computers have selected you
as the average American family."
3
00:00:11,458 --> 00:00:14,586
We've repeated that:
"Average American family.
4
00:00:14,661 --> 00:00:19,621
"You'll receive $5,000,
and our magazine will
do a full picture story on your family.
5
00:00:19,700 --> 00:00:22,533
Details to follow."
Who'd the wire go to,
Mr. Morgan?
6
00:00:22,602 --> 00:00:26,834
We sent it to
"Mr. And Mrs. Herman Munster,
7
00:00:26,907 --> 00:00:29,307
1313 Mockingbird Lane."
8
00:00:30,977 --> 00:00:35,380
Isn't it wonderful, Herman?
They say we Munsters
fit the average family statistics...
9
00:00:35,449 --> 00:00:37,417
almost to a "T."
10
00:00:37,484 --> 00:00:40,248
It's quite an honor
for our family to be chosen,
11
00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:44,051
and that $5,000 prize
will come in handy too.
12
00:00:44,124 --> 00:00:47,252
And it's going to be a cover story.
Can't you just see it?
13
00:00:47,327 --> 00:00:50,694
Our picture in homes
all over the country.
14
00:00:50,764 --> 00:00:55,497
Why, with your good looks
and my handsome features,
I'm sure we'll be a smash.
15
00:00:56,503 --> 00:00:59,028
[Shatters]
16
00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:10,167
[Chuckles]
Well, now. According
to the second telegram,
17
00:02:10,243 --> 00:02:13,906
a photographer and a reporter
will arrive tomorrow
to spend the weekend.
18
00:02:13,980 --> 00:02:18,440
Oh, good. That'll give me time
to hang my new drapes
in the guest room.
19
00:02:19,519 --> 00:02:22,454
We want to put on a good front
for these people.
20
00:02:22,522 --> 00:02:25,980
- I'm gonna get my best suit down
and take it down to be pressed.
- Good idea.
21
00:02:26,059 --> 00:02:29,222
- Oh, and while you're there,
have your head blocked.
- Yes, dear.
22
00:02:29,296 --> 00:02:32,390
Oh, and Marilyn,
why don't you go down
to the beauty parlor...
23
00:02:32,466 --> 00:02:35,162
and get fixed up.
24
00:02:35,235 --> 00:02:37,760
Ooh, you might get them to
give you a vulture egg shampoo.
25
00:02:37,838 --> 00:02:39,897
Yes, Aunt Lily, I will.
Good.
26
00:02:39,973 --> 00:02:41,941
Dad?
Yes, Eddie?
27
00:02:42,008 --> 00:02:44,943
I'll comb the snarls
out of Spotty.
28
00:02:45,946 --> 00:02:49,279
And, uh, Grandpa,
what are you gonna do
to get ready for this happy event?
29
00:02:49,349 --> 00:02:52,682
What am I going to do?
I'm gonna get out of here.
That's what I'm going to do.
30
00:02:52,752 --> 00:02:54,913
Grandpa!
31
00:02:54,988 --> 00:03:00,119
Grandpa, don't you realize
what an honor it is to be
selected the "Average American Family"?
32
00:03:00,193 --> 00:03:03,890
Think what it'll do
for our standing in the community...
33
00:03:03,964 --> 00:03:06,626
and how Eddie's playmates
will all begin to notice him.
34
00:03:06,700 --> 00:03:11,000
Honor? Why,
it's an insult to the family name
to be called average.
35
00:03:11,071 --> 00:03:16,168
I happen to be a genuine count,
with the blood of princes and dukes
flowing in my veins.
36
00:03:16,243 --> 00:03:19,178
Grandpa, that was in the Old Country.
37
00:03:19,246 --> 00:03:22,010
Here in America,
no one cares about royal blood.
38
00:03:22,082 --> 00:03:24,573
Spoilsports!
39
00:03:24,651 --> 00:03:27,176
Well, when that reporter
and photographer get here,
40
00:03:27,254 --> 00:03:32,021
I for one am making myself scarce,
and I'm just the one who can do it.
41
00:03:34,227 --> 00:03:37,685
[Coughs, Grumbles]
42
00:03:37,764 --> 00:03:42,724
This ruins everything.
We were chosen by statistics.
43
00:03:42,802 --> 00:03:47,739
We have to show two children,
a pet, an aged grandfather
and a bird.
44
00:03:47,807 --> 00:03:53,006
- [Caws] Who? Me?
- Not you, stupid. I mean Igor.
45
00:03:53,079 --> 00:03:57,106
I feel just awful about Grandpa
acting this way.
46
00:03:57,183 --> 00:04:00,118
I could just lie down and die...
Ohh.
47
00:04:00,186 --> 00:04:02,177
Again.
48
00:04:07,694 --> 00:04:10,322
Grandpa,
I wanna talk to you.
49
00:04:10,397 --> 00:04:12,957
Herman, you can talk yourself
green in the face.
50
00:04:13,033 --> 00:04:17,697
I will have nothing to do
with being part of
an average American family.
51
00:04:19,139 --> 00:04:23,007
It may be the way you're made,
but it is not the way I'm made.
52
00:04:23,076 --> 00:04:26,603
Grandpa, give me one good reason
why you're against it.
53
00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:29,911
Well, think what this kind
of publicity would do
to my life story.
54
00:04:29,983 --> 00:04:32,884
Why, if everybody knows me
as the typical old grandpa next door,
55
00:04:32,953 --> 00:04:35,854
who will believe the fantastic life
that I've written about?
56
00:04:35,922 --> 00:04:39,722
Grandpa,
when those reporters show up,
I insist you be here.
57
00:04:39,793 --> 00:04:43,889
I won't! I won't! I won't!
If you make me, I'll turn
into a bone...
58
00:04:43,964 --> 00:04:46,228
and bury myself
in the backyard.
59
00:04:46,299 --> 00:04:50,736
Last time you did that,
the neighbors' dog dug you up,
and we had a terrible time getting you back.
60
00:04:50,804 --> 00:04:53,932
I don't care. I won't be here.
61
00:04:54,007 --> 00:04:58,205
When those men show up, you are
not leaving the house, you understand?
62
00:04:58,278 --> 00:05:02,408
All right. I promise
I won't leave the house.
63
00:05:02,482 --> 00:05:06,851
Good.
Don't worry, Herman.
64
00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:11,550
I won't leave the house.
But as we used to say in Transylvania,
65
00:05:11,625 --> 00:05:14,856
there's more than one way
to skin a bat.
66
00:05:14,928 --> 00:05:18,830
[Igor Squeaking]
All right. All right.
67
00:05:18,898 --> 00:05:22,459
Why is everybody
around here so sensitive?
68
00:05:24,104 --> 00:05:27,596
You're booked on the morning flight,
and don't forget, fellas:
69
00:05:27,674 --> 00:05:30,802
We want real coverage and depth
on this average family.
70
00:05:30,877 --> 00:05:33,607
Togetherness and heart
in words and pictures.
71
00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:36,843
I think we oughta play it for laughs,
satirize the whole thing.
72
00:05:36,916 --> 00:05:39,180
You're all wrong,
as usual, Chip.
73
00:05:39,252 --> 00:05:43,450
This is right up my alley.
All heart, these people...
my kind of people.
74
00:05:43,523 --> 00:05:48,358
I don't care how you handle it.
Just bring me back a story
and pictures... plenty of pictures.
75
00:05:48,428 --> 00:05:51,124
And for once,
see if you two can agree
on something.
76
00:05:51,197 --> 00:05:53,995
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We'll get great pictures.
77
00:05:54,067 --> 00:05:57,298
"Mr. Munster polishing his car.
This fascinating shot was taken...
78
00:05:57,370 --> 00:06:00,999
at a great personal risk
in a cockpit of a speeding power mower."
79
00:06:01,074 --> 00:06:04,669
Look. Stop playing
the big-shot war correspondent,
will ya? The boss is right.
80
00:06:04,744 --> 00:06:08,202
These are real people...
down-to-earth,
heartland stuff.
81
00:06:08,281 --> 00:06:11,648
- Why, I might even
get a Pulitzer Prize out of this.
- Why don't you knock it off, Len?
82
00:06:11,718 --> 00:06:14,152
You sound like Chester Morris
on the late, late, late show.
83
00:06:17,090 --> 00:06:21,459
Grandpa?
Uh, Grandpa?
84
00:06:21,528 --> 00:06:23,826
Oh, Grandpa?
85
00:06:30,336 --> 00:06:34,830
I can't imagine where he is.
He knows the reporters
are coming this afternoon.
86
00:06:34,908 --> 00:06:38,173
I guess he's gone somewhere,
but the question is
when'll he come back?
87
00:06:38,244 --> 00:06:40,906
[Cawing]
Nevermore.
88
00:06:40,980 --> 00:06:43,847
Will you stay out of this?
89
00:06:43,917 --> 00:06:46,647
Uncle Herman, I think
he's trying to tell us something.
90
00:06:51,891 --> 00:06:53,984
[Caws]
91
00:06:56,296 --> 00:07:00,665
"Dear Mr. And Mrs. Average,
Igor and I have flown the coop.
92
00:07:00,734 --> 00:07:04,761
Sorry we can't be there
for the picture-taking. Grandpa. '"
93
00:07:04,838 --> 00:07:08,239
[Grumbles]
And he promised me
he wouldn't leave the house.
94
00:07:08,308 --> 00:07:11,539
Why, when those men show up
and find that one of our statistics
is missing,
95
00:07:11,611 --> 00:07:13,943
he's liable
to call the whole deal off.
96
00:07:14,013 --> 00:07:16,811
Now we'll lose the prize money.
97
00:07:16,883 --> 00:07:21,718
Oh, and we were so looking forward
to that vacation cruise on the Dead Sea.
98
00:07:21,788 --> 00:07:23,722
Fiddlesticks!
99
00:07:33,066 --> 00:07:35,432
[Crash]
Now, Herman!
100
00:07:35,502 --> 00:07:38,494
Listen. The people
from the magazine
won't be here for a while.
101
00:07:38,571 --> 00:07:42,063
Maybe you can find Grandpa
before they get here.
Yes.
102
00:07:42,142 --> 00:07:44,235
And I know all his haunts.
103
00:07:44,310 --> 00:07:49,543
Now, when those men come here,
Marilyn, you show them to their room
and make some excuse for us.
104
00:07:49,616 --> 00:07:52,084
Don't worry about a thing.
You just go out
and find Grandpa.
105
00:07:52,152 --> 00:07:55,713
Right. We'll check all the places
where he hangs out.
106
00:07:55,789 --> 00:07:57,848
Come... Come, Lily.
107
00:08:04,898 --> 00:08:07,093
Don't tell me this is it.
108
00:08:07,167 --> 00:08:10,159
Well, the place where we rented the car
said this was the street.
109
00:08:10,236 --> 00:08:14,605
There's the number: 1313.
House Beautiful it ain't.
110
00:08:14,674 --> 00:08:17,234
I've seen direct hits
that looked better than this.
111
00:08:17,310 --> 00:08:20,438
Let's go see if
Ma and Pa Kettle are home.
112
00:08:20,513 --> 00:08:23,641
[Wind Whistling]
[Wolf Howling]
113
00:08:23,716 --> 00:08:27,880
[Door Knocker Banging]
Hey, Chip,
let's call the home office.
114
00:08:27,954 --> 00:08:32,482
Something's wrong here.
I don't see anything very
average about this.
115
00:08:33,893 --> 00:08:36,293
Neither do I.
Miss Munster?
116
00:08:36,362 --> 00:08:39,661
I'm Marilyn Munster.
You must be the men
from Event Magazine.
117
00:08:39,732 --> 00:08:43,133
Yes. Right, right.
ChipJohnson. Lennie Bates.
118
00:08:43,203 --> 00:08:45,296
Words. Pictures.
How you doin'?
119
00:08:45,371 --> 00:08:48,465
Won't you come in,
please?
Thank you.
120
00:08:48,541 --> 00:08:51,203
Are you in a hurry
to start taking pictures?
Oh, no.
121
00:08:51,277 --> 00:08:54,769
No need to get down
to business so soon.
Good. Then I'll show you to your room.
122
00:08:54,848 --> 00:08:57,373
I suppose you're wondering
where the rest of the family is.
123
00:08:57,450 --> 00:09:01,648
Frankly, it hadn't
even entered my head.
Well, they'll be back soon.
124
00:09:01,721 --> 00:09:05,316
"Be back soon."
What a doll!
125
00:09:22,442 --> 00:09:26,401
Maybe Grandpa got hungry.
Sometimes he comes here
to grab a bite.
126
00:09:26,479 --> 00:09:30,176
You wait here.
I'll see if he's in there.
127
00:09:53,139 --> 00:09:55,801
[All Screaming]
128
00:10:13,660 --> 00:10:16,652
Was Grandpa in there?
No. The place is empty.
129
00:10:16,729 --> 00:10:21,996
They must serve terrible food.
Well, let's keep looking.
130
00:10:34,180 --> 00:10:37,980
Grandpa goes down here
once in a while
to enjoy the damp earth.
131
00:10:38,051 --> 00:10:40,713
I'll see if he's down there.
132
00:10:46,192 --> 00:10:50,561
Grandpa?
Oh, Grandpa?
133
00:10:50,630 --> 00:10:52,996
[Man's Voice]
He ain't here.
134
00:10:53,066 --> 00:10:56,035
Okay.
Okay.
135
00:10:58,404 --> 00:11:01,862
S'all right?
S'all right.
136
00:11:06,512 --> 00:11:10,312
Grandpa sometimes comes here
to feed the wolves.
137
00:11:21,761 --> 00:11:24,229
I tell you, Mr. Morgan.
This place is weird.
138
00:11:24,297 --> 00:11:27,130
I think we oughta
call it off. Research
must have goofed this one.
139
00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:30,692
Nonsense.
Our computers are never wrong.
They're infallible.
140
00:11:30,770 --> 00:11:33,170
Why, they picked
my last three wives for me.
141
00:11:33,239 --> 00:11:37,972
All right. So... So the place
is a little run-down.
142
00:11:38,044 --> 00:11:41,946
I mean, what do you...
what do you expect
the average family to live in?
143
00:11:42,015 --> 00:11:44,381
Huh? The Taj Mahal?
144
00:11:44,450 --> 00:11:47,942
Hey. We met the niece.
She's a doll. Now, the rest
of the family's gotta be great.
145
00:11:52,825 --> 00:11:56,022
[Chip]
Well, you don't get candy apples
off a lemon tree.
146
00:11:56,095 --> 00:11:59,758
Look, you boys come back here
with a story, and check it all out.
147
00:11:59,832 --> 00:12:02,926
Make sure that family
satisfies our computer to a "T."
148
00:12:03,002 --> 00:12:06,961
I want pets, kids and grandfather.
One thing wrong, and it's off.
149
00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:09,406
And keep Lennie
off the you-know-what.
150
00:12:09,475 --> 00:12:14,276
Now, don't worry.
Lennie doesn't have a pint
of the you-know-what on him.
151
00:12:14,347 --> 00:12:18,408
- Everything is under control.
- Mr. Bates, your room is ready.
152
00:12:20,019 --> 00:12:22,852
But really under control.
153
00:12:24,590 --> 00:12:27,115
[Engine Idling]
154
00:12:28,428 --> 00:12:31,420
Well, we've checked all
of Grandpa's hangouts.
155
00:12:31,497 --> 00:12:36,730
Where could he be?
I think we should've looked for him
out at Rose Lawn Memorial Park.
156
00:12:36,803 --> 00:12:39,738
Lily, that's 10 miles
as the hearse drives.
157
00:12:39,806 --> 00:12:44,106
Well, he often goes out there
to pick up a flower
for his buttonhole.
158
00:12:44,177 --> 00:12:49,137
All right.
We'll just have to start looking
for him again early in the morning.
159
00:12:49,215 --> 00:12:53,584
It'll mean good-bye
to $5,000 if we can't
produce him for those pictures.
160
00:12:53,653 --> 00:12:57,851
How could a man
who's 400 years old
act so childish?
161
00:12:57,924 --> 00:13:00,791
Now, where could he be?
162
00:13:00,860 --> 00:13:02,794
[Squeaking]
[Grandpa]
Well, Igor,
163
00:13:02,862 --> 00:13:06,628
I promised I wouldn't
leave the house, and I didn't.
[Cackles]
164
00:13:06,699 --> 00:13:11,033
We'll just hang around up here
until those men from the magazine
have gone.
165
00:13:11,104 --> 00:13:15,939
[Squeaking]
Shh. Will you be quiet,
Igor? They'll hear us.
166
00:13:16,008 --> 00:13:19,171
Just play dead.
167
00:13:21,547 --> 00:13:23,845
So, your folks
collect antiques, huh?
168
00:13:23,916 --> 00:13:27,784
Antiques fascinate me.
Tell me more.
169
00:13:27,854 --> 00:13:31,312
Maybe you'd like
to see some of them?
Yes. Yes.
170
00:13:31,390 --> 00:13:34,587
Especially if they're stuck away
in some dark corner.
171
00:13:34,660 --> 00:13:38,118
Well, on second thought,
it's getting a little late.
172
00:13:38,197 --> 00:13:43,191
I wonder what's keeping your partner.
Oh, he has to
unpack all those cameras.
173
00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:50,600
[Creaking]
174
00:14:08,828 --> 00:14:12,355
It certainly
is a marvelous antique.
175
00:14:12,431 --> 00:14:15,696
What's it called?
"Early San Quentin"?
176
00:14:15,768 --> 00:14:20,068
[Lennie] Chip.!
Oh, there's the reprieve
from the governor.
177
00:14:21,107 --> 00:14:24,133
Well, don't go away, doll.
I'll be right back.
178
00:14:24,210 --> 00:14:27,270
Well, I think I'll say good night now,
but I'll see you in the morning.
179
00:14:27,346 --> 00:14:29,405
Okay.
180
00:14:30,650 --> 00:14:33,483
[Low Chuckle]
Good night.
181
00:14:39,759 --> 00:14:42,023
What do you want?
I was just beginning to
soften her up.
182
00:14:42,094 --> 00:14:45,860
Chip, there's something
awfully wrong here.
A man got onto this thing...
183
00:14:45,932 --> 00:14:50,301
and then turned
into a suit of armor.
[Heavy Clank]
184
00:14:53,806 --> 00:14:56,866
I suppose the next thing
you're gonna tell me
is you saw little men.
185
00:14:56,943 --> 00:15:00,811
Well, I was afraid
to mention it before,
but when we first came in,
186
00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:05,783
I did see one run across the hall...
and then later, he ran up the stairs.
187
00:15:05,851 --> 00:15:08,684
My boy,
you need a good night's rest.
188
00:15:14,694 --> 00:15:18,562
It's discouraging, Herman.
Grandpa is just nowhere around.
189
00:15:18,631 --> 00:15:23,068
I know. How many places
are there in a town like this
where a man can bury himself?
190
00:15:23,135 --> 00:15:28,129
When I think of losing that $5,000,
it makes me so mad
I could blow my top!
191
00:15:28,207 --> 00:15:32,041
Well, don't do that, dear.
It's always so messy.
192
00:15:36,549 --> 00:15:40,007
What are you doin'
with the binoculars?
193
00:15:40,086 --> 00:15:43,317
No, thank you. Now,
put that away, will you?
194
00:15:43,389 --> 00:15:46,654
No wonder you've been
seeing little men. Now, come on.
Let's go to bed.
195
00:15:46,726 --> 00:15:51,095
We don't wanna look
like a couple of weirdos
when we meet the rest of the family, hmm?
196
00:15:52,965 --> 00:15:56,401
Put it away.
[Pats Back]
197
00:16:49,355 --> 00:16:51,346
[Yawning]
198
00:16:57,763 --> 00:17:00,357
Chip. Chip.
Chip, wake up.
Huh? Huh?
199
00:17:00,433 --> 00:17:03,334
What's the matter?
What's the matter?
There's a monster in the hall.
200
00:17:03,402 --> 00:17:08,203
Lennie, ya big dope,
will you stay out of the binoculars?
I saw it; I swear it!
201
00:17:08,274 --> 00:17:13,473
He's about seven foot tall,
and his head is bolted to his neck,
and he's wearing a nightshirt.
202
00:17:13,546 --> 00:17:17,607
I saw it. Come on.
I swear. I swear. Come on.
All right! All right!
203
00:17:17,683 --> 00:17:19,913
Let go.
204
00:17:27,693 --> 00:17:29,718
[Lennie]
Isn't it awful?
205
00:17:34,967 --> 00:17:38,130
It's frightening.
But it was there!
206
00:17:38,204 --> 00:17:41,196
I'm gonna take you
to a psychiatrist.
207
00:17:42,541 --> 00:17:46,500
Chip, I swear it.
I saw it. I swear I saw it.
208
00:17:46,579 --> 00:17:49,139
If you weren't dreaming,
what were you doing at the door
in the first place?
209
00:17:49,215 --> 00:17:53,652
I was going to get a glass of water.
Well, the big, bad bogeyman's gone.
Go get your water.
210
00:17:56,756 --> 00:18:00,089
Eddie, are you in bed?
211
00:18:00,159 --> 00:18:02,354
[Eddie]
Yes, but I can't stay awake.
212
00:18:02,428 --> 00:18:06,364
You'll be able to. Just lie there
with your eyes open, dear.
213
00:18:18,277 --> 00:18:20,268
[Muttering, Indistinct]
214
00:18:20,346 --> 00:18:23,509
I'm getting out of here.
215
00:18:23,582 --> 00:18:27,018
Now, look here.
What do you wanna do?
Get us both fired?
216
00:18:27,086 --> 00:18:29,520
I'll tell ya what I'll do.
217
00:18:29,588 --> 00:18:34,048
Wait a minute. I'll tell you
what I'll do. We'll go through
the whole house together.
218
00:18:34,126 --> 00:18:39,496
[Grumbling]
No. I'll prove to you
that there's nothing here but
a gorgeous creature named Marilyn...
219
00:18:39,565 --> 00:18:42,193
and her harmless,
average American family.
220
00:18:42,268 --> 00:18:46,705
Okay? I'll be with you
every minute.
221
00:18:48,441 --> 00:18:51,410
Okay.
Come on.
222
00:19:02,087 --> 00:19:07,081
Gee, you certainly go through
an awful lot, Lily, to make yourself
beautiful just to go to bed.
223
00:19:07,159 --> 00:19:10,424
Anything for you, pussycat.
224
00:19:10,496 --> 00:19:14,330
[Door Opening, Closing]
Did you hear that?
225
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:17,062
Hmm?
It's downstairs.
226
00:19:17,136 --> 00:19:19,661
Oh. Good.
227
00:19:19,738 --> 00:19:25,108
- It's burglars. Herman,
you go down and have a look.
- Do I have to?
228
00:19:25,177 --> 00:19:28,613
Of course!
Go down and scare them off!
229
00:19:28,681 --> 00:19:31,616
Me? Scare them off? How?
230
00:19:31,684 --> 00:19:34,152
Herman.
231
00:19:35,721 --> 00:19:38,713
All right. Just a moment.
232
00:19:45,898 --> 00:19:48,867
Oh, will you hurry?
All right.
Just let me see if it's loaded.
233
00:19:52,538 --> 00:19:55,632
Come on!
I'm going. I'm going.
234
00:20:13,225 --> 00:20:15,819
[Chip]
It's a little far out, but you don't
see any monsters, do you?
235
00:20:15,895 --> 00:20:19,058
[Lennie]
So far. I'm sure
I heard footsteps.
236
00:20:19,131 --> 00:20:21,622
Let's look in there.
237
00:20:33,612 --> 00:20:36,581
[Chip] You see,
there's nothing unusual in here, right?
Hey, look.
238
00:20:36,649 --> 00:20:38,640
Aww. Nice kitty.
239
00:20:38,717 --> 00:20:41,083
[Roars]
240
00:20:44,189 --> 00:20:47,090
Careful.
Looks like an electric chair.
241
00:20:47,159 --> 00:20:50,026
Let's get out of here.
It might be plugged in.
242
00:21:00,906 --> 00:21:03,773
Well, you gotta admit
we didn't find anything, right?
[Footsteps Approaching]
243
00:21:04,877 --> 00:21:06,970
Hmm.
I guess you're right.
244
00:21:07,046 --> 00:21:10,072
[Footsteps Grow Louder]
What's that?
245
00:21:15,087 --> 00:21:18,682
It's just our own footsteps,
ya dope.
246
00:21:18,757 --> 00:21:23,353
Our own footsteps, huh?
Then how come they're
still walkin'?
247
00:21:25,164 --> 00:21:28,429
We'll look back together.
248
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:38,300
Shh.
See, ya big dope?
You got me doin' it now.
249
00:21:38,377 --> 00:21:41,107
It's just your imagination.
250
00:21:41,180 --> 00:21:43,774
- [Lily Screams]
- [Both Scream]
251
00:21:43,849 --> 00:21:48,377
- Help! Grandpa!
- [Men Muttering, Screaming]
252
00:21:51,657 --> 00:21:53,716
It's me, Chip.
253
00:21:55,394 --> 00:21:59,057
- [Screams]
- Herman!
254
00:21:59,131 --> 00:22:04,501
- No! Not Grandpa!
The burglars!
- [Herman Muttering]
255
00:22:08,007 --> 00:22:10,373
[Gasps]
256
00:22:10,442 --> 00:22:13,172
It's me!
257
00:22:13,245 --> 00:22:15,509
Ohh. Ohh.
258
00:22:15,581 --> 00:22:18,175
[Both Screaming]
259
00:22:21,353 --> 00:22:24,516
Aunt Lily, Uncle Herman,
what happened?
260
00:22:24,590 --> 00:22:28,026
There were burglars in the house, dear.
We just chased them off.
[Car Zooming Away]
261
00:22:28,093 --> 00:22:32,689
Burglars?
Those were the two men
from Event Magazine.
262
00:22:33,832 --> 00:22:38,166
Oh, bats!
There goes our $5,000,
Herman.
263
00:22:38,237 --> 00:22:43,038
Well, I guess
there's only one thing to do.
264
00:22:45,277 --> 00:22:49,338
Oh, darn. I forgot.
[Laughing]
265
00:22:52,518 --> 00:22:57,012
- [Lennie On Phone]
But, boss, they are monsters.
- Yeah, yeah. I saw them. It was horrible.
266
00:22:57,089 --> 00:22:59,853
Look. You boys have been
at that binocular case too much.
267
00:22:59,925 --> 00:23:03,122
Now, you get back there
and get that picture,
or you're both fired!
268
00:23:05,731 --> 00:23:08,222
Well, you heard the man.
Back we go.
269
00:23:10,169 --> 00:23:14,663
[Lennie]
Four lenses cracked before I got it.
I finally used the strongest one we had,
270
00:23:14,740 --> 00:23:17,072
the one for elephant stampedes.
271
00:23:17,142 --> 00:23:20,009
It's magnificent.
Hmm?
What?
272
00:23:20,079 --> 00:23:23,310
Look, we have shown
the average American family
celebrating New Year's,
273
00:23:23,382 --> 00:23:27,842
Christmas, Mother's Day,
the Fourth ofJuly
and Susan B. Anthony's birthday,
274
00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:32,880
but this is the first time we have
ever shown the average American family
celebrating Halloween.
275
00:23:32,958 --> 00:23:36,689
Boys, you are brilliant.
Send a check to the Munsters...
276
00:23:36,762 --> 00:23:39,492
and pick up a $1,000 bonus
from the cashier.
277
00:23:39,565 --> 00:23:42,932
And congratulations.
[Chortles]
278
00:23:43,001 --> 00:23:46,937
[Lily]
Isn't it a beautiful picture, Herman?
279
00:23:47,005 --> 00:23:50,236
Mm. Yeah, but...
280
00:23:50,309 --> 00:23:53,335
but look what
it says here:
281
00:23:53,412 --> 00:23:56,438
"America's Average Family
Celebrates Halloween."
282
00:23:56,515 --> 00:23:59,882
Halloween?
What are they talking about? This
is the way we look every day of the year.
283
00:23:59,952 --> 00:24:04,753
Yeah, on Halloween,
we put on masks and try
to frighten people.
284
00:24:04,823 --> 00:24:07,986
Wait a minute. It's a mistake.
They switched headlines.
285
00:24:08,060 --> 00:24:13,555
Here's the Halloween picture:
"The Pierpont van Schuylers
in their latest family portrait."
286
00:24:13,632 --> 00:24:16,692
Why, that's the weirdest bunch
of trick-or-treaters I ever saw.
287
00:24:16,769 --> 00:24:19,829
How could a magazine like that
make such a mistake?
288
00:24:19,905 --> 00:24:22,897
Say, Herman,
you think maybe
we could sue them?
289
00:24:22,975 --> 00:24:28,470
Oh... Oh, my goodness, no.
I think we should just
be good sports and laugh it off.
290
00:24:28,547 --> 00:24:30,913
- Laugh it off?
- Why, sure, Lily.
291
00:24:30,983 --> 00:24:34,544
We're not just
the plain old Munsters anymore,
you know.
292
00:24:34,620 --> 00:24:38,078
We're the average American family,
293
00:24:38,157 --> 00:24:42,423
and I think we owe it to our country
to keep our sense of humor.
26342
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.