All language subtitles for The Munsters S01E12 (The Sleeping Cutie)

[Sputtering]

Gr-Grandpa, I won't stand for it!
It's a terrible thing to do.

It's downright murder!

Herman, I know
it could be a disaster,

but I think we ought to let Grandpa
go through with his experiment.

Herman, I just wanna
fill your gas tank with water.

But it's crazy trying to turn
water into gasoline with a pill.

Uh, uh...
You'll ruin my beautiful car.

Herman, why don't we humor him?

Last time we did,
he invented athlete's foot.

Oh. I forgot about that.

Uh, uh...
Go ahead, Grandpa.

And now for my
"instant gasoline" pill.

[Liquid Gurgling]

- What's it doing?
- Never mind that, Herman.

Just get in and start 'er up.

Grandpa, it'll never work.
[Chuckles]

Oh, Herman, don't be such
a doubting Thomas.

[Engine Starts]

[Engine Revving]
[Tires Screeching]

Grandpa, you're a genius.

Naturally.
[Vehicle Approaching]

- [Tires Screeching]
- [Engine Shuts Off]

[Laughing]

Grandpa, I drove all the way
around the block.
[Laughing]

[Laughing]
What kept you?

Grandpa?

You're not writing crank letters
to "Dear Abby" again?

No, of course not.

I'm sending a sample
of my "instant gasoline" pill...

to the Reliable Oil Company.

Ho ho! Boy,
when they buy my invention,

we'll all be millionaires.

Well, we could certainly
use some money.

I'd like to carpet the dungeon
in wall-to-wall moss...

and get some new lightning rods
for the house.

I think you're being
very selfish.

You should stop thinking of yourself
and share your invention with mankind.

I am gonna share it, 50-50.

They get the pill.
I get the money.

- Now, really.
- [Lily]
Oh, Marilyn.

Oh, my.
Those circles under your eyes...

how lovely you look today.

Well, I wish I felt
as well as I look.

I just haven't been able to sleep
for the last two nights.

Have you tried hanging from the rafters
with your head down like I do?

I'd like to, Grandpa,

but I just don't seem
to have the toes for it.

Well, I'll go down to the lab later,
and I'll mix you up something.

Um, uh, all right,
but be careful.

I don't trust those homemade
remedies of yours.
[Scoffs]

The last time,
you invented a medicine
for which there was no disease.

I'm not kidding, Mr. Hadley.
According to the old gentleman's letter,

he's found a way
to turn water into gasoline.

I know you're not kidding, Dick,
but that's one of the oldest wheezes
in the oil business.

Sir, look. I'll drop this pill
into this pan of water.

Now, smell it.

[Sniffing]
Sure, it smells like gasoline.
A lot of them do.

But that's as far as it goes.

Now, don't waste your time
with him.

He's just an old crackpot.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

[Explosion]

W-W-Well, don't just
stand there.

Like I said, go get that old genius
signed up.
[Object Clattering]

[Laughing, Coughing]

Let me see.
Two parts monassium contabinate.

Two parts?

Now, Herman, please.
I'm working on my
"instant gasoline" formula.

Boy. If Louis Pasteur had had you
looking over his shoulder,

I'm sure he never would have
invented rabies.

Uh, uh... You could use
some advice from me.
[Scoffs]

I hung around labs
long before I was born.

Hi, Grandpa.

You haven't come across
a cure for insomnia, have you?

No. I'm sorry. I've been busy
working on my gas pill.

Are you still having trouble
getting to sleep, dear?

I didn't sleep a wink last night.

I'll tell you what, Marilyn.

Now you just
sit right down here,

and I'll put you to sleep
with my hypnotism.

I'm very good at that,
you know.

Now you just concentrate
on my watch, all right?

Now look at the watch
and concentrate.

Abracadabra, hop toad pie,

look your grandpa in the eye.

When your grandpa
counts to three,

fast asleep
you're going to be.

One, two, three!

[Crash]

Oh, well. There's a wise guy
in every crowd.

Don't worry, Marilyn.
I'll mix you a sleeping potion.

Now, let me see.
Where are the recipes?

Grandpa, it's a telegram
from the oil company.

They're sending a man tomorrow
to discuss your invention with you.

Tomorrow. That's fine.

I'll have a batch
of my "instant gasoline" pills
ready by then.

But what about my insomnia?
Don't worry, Marilyn.

I'll make you a sleeping potion
at the same time.

Grandpa, are you sure
you know what you're doing?
Now, Lily, please.

Don't tell a mad scientist
how to run his business.

Herman? Herman, you get up.

[Murmuring]
I wish you wouldn't
take naps down here.

You know I like to keep
a neat dungeon.

Uh, yes, dear.

[Electricity Humming]

[Explosion]

[Groans]
Grandpa and his experiments!

Why couldn't I have had
a normal father-in-law...

who goes to church at night
and plays bingo?

Oh, calm down, Herman.
So he blows up the house
once in a while.

He just wants to feel needed.

Besides, he has to get
those gasoline pills made,

and he has to find
a sleeping potion for Marilyn.

Oh, Marilyn, dear.
Why are you up so late?

I just can't get to sleep.

I'm going to see if Grandpa's
made me the sleeping potion yet.

I'm just dead on my feet.

Isn't everybody?

Ah! This is the thing
I've been looking for.

Grandpa.
[Glass Shatters]
[Moans]

Marilyn! Don't ever do that.

You'll scare me
right out of my skin,

and you know how hard it is
to get back into it.

I'm sorry, Grandpa,
but I've got to have
that sleeping potion.

Oh, don't worry.
I've got it all ready.

?? [Humming]
Let me see...

Aha! Here it is.
No, no. That's not it either.

[Muttering]
No, no. Ah! Here it is.

[Chuckling]
I'll put a head on it for you.

?? [Humming]

Heh. Bottoms up.

Courage.

Thank you, Grandpa,
but I don't feel a thing.

I'm still as wide awake as...

?? [Humming]

[Murmurs]

Nighty-night.

[Sighs]

Good morning, Lily.
Good morning, dear.

Oh, my. You look positively
green around the gills.

Oh, thank you.

Good morning, Mom.
Good morning, Pop.

Good morning, Eddie.
Good morning, family.

Good morning.
Good morning, Grandpa.

Uh, say, has Marilyn
come up yet?

No, no. She's asleep
in the lab still.

Eddie, you'd better go down
and wake her up.

She'll be late for class.
Okay.

Oh, he's such a good boy.

Yes, but I wish he'd learn
to be neater.

I keep telling him
over and over again...

not to leave these empty
pet food cans around
after he's fed Spot.

He leaves them
all over the place.

[Can Clatters]

Grandpa, how's
the gasoline pill going?

The man
from the oil company's
coming today.

I got a little sidetracked
making a sleeping potion
for Marilyn,

but I'll have those pills
ready in time.

[Herman]
You know, Grandpa, your invention
may revolutionize motoring.

Instead of gasoline, we may all
need credit cards to buy water.
[Laughing]

Mom! Dad!
Marilyn won't wake up.

What?
I shook her,
but she just lies there.

Oh, dear!

[Grandpa]
Hurry.

[Clapping]

Well, Grandpa, just don't stand there.
Do something.

That's it, all right.
What do you mean?

Well, I... got a little confused.

I must have given her
the Sleeping Beauty potion
by mistake.

Oh! That means
she'll sleep forever.

No, no.
The spell can be broken.

To wake this sleeping beauty,
you must remember this.

To break the spell of slumber,
a prince her lips must kiss.
[Kisses]

[Pounding]
Oh, my. That's the front door.

Grandpa, you'd better do something fast.

But, Grandpa,
wh-wh-where are we ever gonna get
a handsome prince to kiss Marilyn?

Oh, where are we gonna get
a handsome prince, period?

[Door Creaking]
[Wind Blowing]

Mrs. Munster?

Yes?

I'm, uh...
I'm the Reliable Oil Company.

L-I mean I'm from
the Reliable Oil Company,

and-and I have some business
I'd like to discuss with your father.

Oh, I'm sorry,
but he's terribly busy right now.

Could you come back later?
You see, it's a family problem,
a domestic crisis.

Oh, couldn't I just
speak to him for a minute?

[Sighs]
I'm terribly sorry,
but it's out of the question right now.

You come back later, all right?

I have to get back to the dungeon.
Yes, of course.

"The dungeon"?

[Tsks]

If you'd just keep
your files straight, Grandpa,

this never
would have happened.

You're right, Herman.
I've done a terrible thing
to Marilyn.

You shouldn't have kept
that stupid Sleeping Beauty
formula around in the first place.

It's too dangerous.
I'll get rid of it right now.

Good.
Where is it?

Oh. Ha ha.
There it is.

Oh. I'll take care of this
right now.

[Chuckles]
Good riddance.

Then what's this?
Oh, this?

Oh, no!
This is the Sleeping Beauty formula.

Then, uh, then what...
I burned the formula
for instant gasoline.

Grandpa, you are the world's
oldest goofball.

Domestic crisis?
Why, Dick, boy, they're just stalling.

What kind of domestic crisis?
I don't know exactly, sir.

It's kind of strange over there...
that-that house and everything.

Well, all these geniuses
are a little odd.

Why would they want
to stall me off?

They probably want to get some offers
from some of the other oil companies.

And play one bid
off against the other.
Exactly.

And that means
we've got to act fast.

Dick, I want you to get back there,
get that slippery old fox signed up.

I don't care what you go through.
Just sign him up.

Yes, sir.
Dick.

If you come back
with that contract,

it means a vice presidency.

A vice presidency?
Yes, sir.

And remember, Dick,
the honor and integrity...

of the Reliable Oil Company
is at stake.

So get that contract
by hook or crook!

Yes, sir.

[Croaking]
Nah! Duds, every one of'em.

Not a prince in the whole bunch.
[Scoffs]

[Frogs Croaking]

[Sighs]
Hmm!

They just don't make frogs
the way they used to in Transylvania.

Grandpa!
You and your old-world methods. Hah!

Lily and I are going about it
the modern, sensible way.

Oh. And, uh, what is
the "modern, sensible way"
to find the prince?

Look in the Yellow Pages?

No. We put an ad
in the newspaper.
Oh.

Uh, listen to this.

"Wanted: Genuine prince.

"Must be young and handsome.
White steed optional.

"Temporary employment.

Fringe benefits."
[Scoffing Laugh]
Bah!

You won't even get frogs
with that.

[Lily]
I'm afraid you're wrong, Grandpa.

Eddie says there are already
two applicants upstairs
who answered the ad.

I'm going to interview them.
Oh, and, Herman,

when we're ready for the kissing,
I'll call you to bring Marilyn up.

Hah!

What are they putting on here?

Uh, I don't know.

My agent sent me over.
Said they advertised
for a prince.

Goodness, Newmar,
these off-Broadway theaters...

get creepier and further out
all the time.

- Gentlemen.
- Well, whatever they're doing,
they're already in rehearsal.

It's so nice of you to come.

Uh, I understand
you're lookin' for a prince.

Yes. Uh, just exactly
what is it we're to do?

Are you familiar with the story
of Sleeping Beauty?

Sleeping Beau...
Oh, yes. A delightful fable.

Oh, I was in the Beckett
adaptation at Royal Beach.

It's nice to be versatile.

But the prince I'm looking for
will have to give an authentic kiss.

Uh, what's the motivation?
What's the salary?

You gonna have tryouts?

Tryouts?
Yeah.

You know, test the both of us
and decide which of us is best.

Oh, that's a splendid idea.

Herman? We're ready.

Man, this is certainly
a fascinating theater you got here.

This isn't a theater.
This is our home.

Your home?

[Footsteps Thumping]
Newmar. Look!

They're the rudest pair
I've ever seen.
[Object Clattering]

Lily, I'll bet you forgot to warn them
about Marilyn's looks.

Oh, I did forget.

Oh, dear. I love her so much...
I keep forgetting
about her handicap.

Poor dear. Hmm.

Well, thank goodness she has us
to stand between her and the world.

[Wind Blowing]
[Shutters Clattering]

[Creature Snarling]

Back, Spot, back.
Bad boy.

Oh, it's you.
He must have thought
you were the new milkman.

Doesn't he like milkmen?

Oh, he loved the last one.
He kept burying him
in the backyard.

Very playful.
Oh, yes.

[Stammering]
Mrs. Munster, I have
some pressing business...

which I simply must discuss "father"
with your "further."

I mean, further
with your-your father.

Perhaps you remember me.
Yes, and I'm awfully sorry,

but Father is still too busy
to see you.

But, Mrs. Munster, l-I am
with the Reliable Oil Company,

and I can match or better any deal
you may have been offered
by the competition.

I am sure you're what you say, but I'm sorry.
He just hasn't got the time to see you.

Today is one of those days
when just everything seems to go wrong.

If you'd only give me a chance.
I just keep telling you, young man...

Is this...
Is this S-S-Spot?

Good heavens, no.
Spot's an animal.

This is my husband.
Uh, how do you do?

Hello.
Herman, why did you
invite him in?

I just explained to the young man
that Father can't see him.

Now, Lily, of course
he can see Mr. Prince.

Herman, l..."Prince"?

Won't you come in?
Please.

Please, Mr. Prince.
[Chuckling]

That's right.
Mr. Richard A. Prince.

Oh, at last our prince has come.

Then you really have
royal blood in your veins?

Oh, yes. L... Thank you.

I understand that's how
we got the family name.

Of course, it was a long time ago.

Well, as they say,
old blood is always the best.

[Chokes]
Yes, uh...

Oh, thank you.

You know...
No. No, thanks.

You're all being so nice to me,
l-I can't help thinking
there's a catch to it.

It's almost as though I were...
as though I were being
fattened up for something.

Is-Isn't that silly?
[Snickering]

[Both Laughing]

Oh, what a sense of humor.

Well, Dick, my boy,
I'm ready to do business
with your company.

Uh, but, uh, Grandpa,

didn't you b-u-r-n
the you know what?

Herman, please.
Let me handle this.

I have the forms right here, sir.
Eh, not so fast.

There's just one little thing.
Oh, if it's a matter of money...

No, no, no, no.
It's not a matter of money.

You see, it's-it's a matter
of tradition.

Now, you see,
we're from the Old Country,
and we have a family custom...

that, before we discuss
a business deal,

the party of the second part...
that's you...
[Chuckles]

Must kiss the youngest member
of the family.

Oh.

You mean I have to... kiss him?

What we mean is the youngest
female member of the family.

Oh.
She's down in the dungeon.

The... dungeon.

Tell me, which, uh...
Which side of the family
does she... resemble?

No. No, no, no.
Don't tell me.

Mr. Prince,
I have to be frank with you.

Poor Marilyn is...
well, to put it bluntly...

less attractive
than the rest of the family.

You might say
she's the ugly duckling.

And-And you want me
to kiss her?

Well, you can close your eyes.

Come on.
And then we talk business.

Then we talk business.

[Trapdoor Creaking]

- [Squeaking]
- Igor, now mind your manners.

I told you,
no snacks between meals.

Uh, Mr. Prince,

I'd like you to meet my niece.

This is the ugly duckling?

Wonderful.! Now we can go up
and discuss the deal.

What... What deal is that?

[Herman Murmuring]

Uh... Uh, Mr. -Mr. Prince?

Uh...

[Stammering]
Mr. Prince?

Uh, Mr. Prince.

Now, sir, about our deal.

Grandpa, tell him.

Well, uh...
[Clears Throat]

Dick, my boy,
there's a little something
that you ought to know.

The Reliable Oil Company
is prepared to pay the sum
of $50,000 to you...

to keep your product
off the market.

You see, it's like this...
Did you say keep it off the market?

Yes, of course.
We certainly have no intention
of giving up the gasoline business.

All you have to do
is keep your formula
off the market.

Oh, I think that can be arranged.
What was that last sum
that you just mentioned?

$50,000.
Grandpa.
Yes? What?

Uh, he'll sign the contracts,
but we can't take the money.

Can't take the money?
No, of course not.

Not after what he's done
for our poor unfortunate little girl.

Besides, the big dummy
burnt the formula.

Allow me.

Bats!

Well, that's... That's more
than generous of you, sir.
L-I must say.

And now if the, uh,
"poor unfortunate little girl"
has no objections,

I'd like to take her out
to celebrate.

Well, I can't make the excuse
of being too sleepy.

I'd love to.

Good night, Mrs. Munster, Mr. Munster.
Good night, sir.

Say, kids, uh, uh...
You can have the car,
but, uh, remember.

Have it back before 12:00,
or it'll turn into a pumpkin.

Thank you, sir.

[Sighs]
Oh, Herman.

You're so sweet and thoughtful.
[Door Closes]

When they made you,
they broke the mold.

That doctor
always was a butterfingers.

[Laughing]