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1
00:00:02,236 --> 00:00:04,669
( Jack Jones' "The
Love Boat" playing )
2
00:00:12,279 --> 00:00:13,579
♪ Love ♪
3
00:00:16,083 --> 00:00:18,683
♪ Exciting and new ♪
4
00:00:19,987 --> 00:00:21,486
♪ Come aboard ♪
5
00:00:24,091 --> 00:00:27,837
♪ We're expecting you ♪
6
00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:30,228
♪ And love ♪
7
00:00:32,232 --> 00:00:36,079
♪ Life's sweetest reward ♪
8
00:00:36,103 --> 00:00:37,902
♪ Let it flow ♪
9
00:00:39,839 --> 00:00:44,254
♪ It floats back to you ♪
10
00:00:44,278 --> 00:00:47,690
♪ The Love Boat ♪
11
00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:52,462
♪ Soon we'll be
making Another run ♪
12
00:00:52,486 --> 00:00:55,265
♪ The Love Boat ♪
13
00:00:55,289 --> 00:01:00,337
♪ Promises something
For everyone ♪
14
00:01:00,361 --> 00:01:02,705
♪ Set a course for adventure ♪
15
00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:06,431
♪ Your mind on a new romance ♪
16
00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:12,182
♪ And love ♪
17
00:01:12,206 --> 00:01:14,639
♪ Won't hurt anymore ♪
18
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:20,323
♪ It's an open smile ♪
19
00:01:20,347 --> 00:01:24,594
♪ On a friendly shore ♪
20
00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:29,065
♪ It's love ♪
21
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:32,590
♪ Welcome aboard It's love ♪
22
00:01:38,999 --> 00:01:40,932
( funky upbeat theme playing )
23
00:02:01,087 --> 00:02:02,699
What a great day. ( sighing )
24
00:02:02,723 --> 00:02:04,401
Terrific.
25
00:02:04,425 --> 00:02:05,402
Good morning, captain.
26
00:02:05,426 --> 00:02:06,603
Good morning, captain.
27
00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:08,672
For you maybe.
Will you get a haircut.
28
00:02:08,696 --> 00:02:10,373
Yes, sir.
29
00:02:10,397 --> 00:02:11,674
Is it my imagination,
30
00:02:11,698 --> 00:02:13,810
or is Captain Stubing
in a rotten mood?
31
00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:15,178
He's in a rotten mood.
32
00:02:15,202 --> 00:02:17,280
But I think I know the reason.
33
00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:19,048
Aubrey and Mrs. Skaugstad?
34
00:02:19,072 --> 00:02:21,017
Yeah, he's one of the
directors of the ship's line.
35
00:02:21,041 --> 00:02:22,552
They're sailing with us today.
36
00:02:22,576 --> 00:02:24,887
Ooh. Remind me to make an
appointment with the barber.
37
00:02:24,911 --> 00:02:26,489
Uh, make an appointment
with the barber.
38
00:02:26,513 --> 00:02:27,657
Thank you. I almost forgot
39
00:02:27,681 --> 00:02:29,192
to make an appointment
with the barber.
40
00:02:29,216 --> 00:02:31,094
Here they come out
of the starting gate.
41
00:02:31,118 --> 00:02:32,718
( indistinct chatter )
42
00:02:34,421 --> 00:02:35,398
Good morning.
43
00:02:35,422 --> 00:02:37,656
I can walk, dumbo.
44
00:02:40,060 --> 00:02:41,137
( sighs )
45
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:44,429
We are Mr. and Mrs.
Aubrey Skaugstad.
46
00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:47,843
Oh, Mr. Skaugstad,
47
00:02:47,867 --> 00:02:49,212
we've been expecting you.
48
00:02:49,236 --> 00:02:51,081
It's an honor. And
Mrs. Skaugstad,
49
00:02:51,105 --> 00:02:52,315
how nice to meet you.
50
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:54,351
You're in Cabin 348.
51
00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:56,653
That's on the Promenade
Deck. Cabin 348.
52
00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:58,788
It's right here on my list.
Heh-heh. No problems here.
53
00:02:58,812 --> 00:03:01,290
Well, Mrs. Skaugstad, sir,
I'm Yeoman-Purser Smith.
54
00:03:01,314 --> 00:03:02,926
And if there's
anything that I can do
55
00:03:02,950 --> 00:03:04,895
to make your voyage a
little bit more pleasurable,
56
00:03:04,919 --> 00:03:06,362
please don't hesitate
to contact me.
57
00:03:06,386 --> 00:03:07,364
I'm here to serve.
58
00:03:07,388 --> 00:03:11,222
Lord, I love an obsequious runt.
59
00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:16,206
We will see you in
our cabin in one hour.
60
00:03:16,230 --> 00:03:18,663
And you can leave the
Shirley Temple routine outside.
61
00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:21,444
Aubrey.
62
00:03:21,468 --> 00:03:23,401
( upbeat theme playing )
63
00:03:25,472 --> 00:03:27,083
This is going to be
such a fun voyage.
64
00:03:27,107 --> 00:03:28,318
( scoffs )
65
00:03:28,342 --> 00:03:30,419
JULIE: Good morning.
Welcome aboard.
66
00:03:30,443 --> 00:03:31,788
Hello. Welcome aboard.
67
00:03:31,812 --> 00:03:33,745
( upbeat theme playing )
68
00:03:47,594 --> 00:03:49,914
Ginny! Ginny! How
can you do this to me?
69
00:04:00,107 --> 00:04:02,452
Ginny! Ginny, come back here!
70
00:04:02,476 --> 00:04:04,320
I love you! Don't
leave me, woman!
71
00:04:04,344 --> 00:04:05,344
Come back here!
72
00:04:12,987 --> 00:04:14,698
Excuse me. Ginny O'Brien.
73
00:04:14,722 --> 00:04:17,133
Oh, okay.
74
00:04:17,157 --> 00:04:20,570
Uh, yes, uh, O'Brien, A-114.
75
00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:22,074
Welcome aboard, Miss O'Brien.
76
00:04:23,363 --> 00:04:25,875
Don't let her stay on
the boat! She's got bugs!
77
00:04:25,899 --> 00:04:27,832
( yelling indistinctly )
78
00:04:36,743 --> 00:04:37,787
Hi.
79
00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:39,222
Oh, hi.
80
00:04:39,246 --> 00:04:40,723
I'm Lorraine Hoffman.
81
00:04:40,747 --> 00:04:43,659
Well, I guess we're,
uh, cabinmates.
82
00:04:43,683 --> 00:04:45,362
Hey, is anything wrong?
83
00:04:45,386 --> 00:04:46,896
No.
84
00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:48,565
Well, there was a
man after me. I...
85
00:04:48,589 --> 00:04:50,166
Congratulations.
86
00:04:50,190 --> 00:04:52,223
So does he have a friend?
87
00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:55,571
Sir. Excuse me, sir.
88
00:04:55,595 --> 00:04:56,972
Are you a passenger on the ship?
89
00:04:56,996 --> 00:04:59,041
Uh, no, but I'm looking
for one: Ginny O'Brien.
90
00:04:59,065 --> 00:05:00,710
Well, I'm sorry, sir.
No more visitors.
91
00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:01,911
We're just about to sail.
92
00:05:01,935 --> 00:05:03,579
Yeah, but I gotta see
her, just for a minute.
93
00:05:03,603 --> 00:05:06,816
Hey, fella, I'd like to help
you out, but rules are rules.
94
00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:08,318
( laughing ): Hey.
95
00:05:08,342 --> 00:05:11,654
I'm sure a man of your stature
96
00:05:11,678 --> 00:05:14,357
can do something... captain.
97
00:05:14,381 --> 00:05:17,893
A little something to help
me in this predicament.
98
00:05:17,917 --> 00:05:18,895
Captain?
99
00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:20,118
Aye, aye.
100
00:05:22,723 --> 00:05:23,767
Okay, but just for a minute.
101
00:05:23,791 --> 00:05:25,857
Just for a minute. Right.
102
00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:28,037
A-114.
103
00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:29,806
A-114.
104
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,374
Thank you very much, skipper.
105
00:05:31,398 --> 00:05:32,563
Aye, aye.
106
00:05:36,770 --> 00:05:39,348
How is everything, captain?
107
00:05:39,372 --> 00:05:42,351
Oh, fine, sailor. Shipshape.
108
00:05:42,375 --> 00:05:44,821
Sir. Uh...
109
00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:47,412
Well, sir, what happened
was, um, this man...
110
00:05:48,882 --> 00:05:50,994
Well, it was just for
a minute, sir, and I...
111
00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:53,029
Well, it's good public
relations, wouldn't you say?
112
00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:54,297
No, I wouldn't.
113
00:05:54,321 --> 00:05:56,399
Well, you're the captain.
114
00:05:56,423 --> 00:05:57,855
Yes, I am.
115
00:05:59,125 --> 00:06:00,365
See, I knew one of us was.
116
00:06:01,428 --> 00:06:02,961
I just always get us mixed up.
117
00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:07,577
Well, I'll return to my post.
118
00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:08,967
Yes.
119
00:06:10,971 --> 00:06:13,149
So did you just wanna
get away from it all?
120
00:06:13,173 --> 00:06:14,484
Uh-huh.
121
00:06:14,508 --> 00:06:17,319
I don't think I'm gonna
be a real fun cabinmate.
122
00:06:17,343 --> 00:06:19,689
Oh, well, that's
okay, uh, just as long
123
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:22,324
as you're willing to take a
little stroll around the deck
124
00:06:22,348 --> 00:06:24,461
in case I happen to be
entertaining a gentleman friend.
125
00:06:24,485 --> 00:06:26,395
Oh, sure. No problem.
126
00:06:26,419 --> 00:06:28,286
That's good. I'll do
the same for you.
127
00:06:32,192 --> 00:06:33,557
Shazam!
128
00:06:35,361 --> 00:06:36,906
Hey, uh, wait a second.
129
00:06:36,930 --> 00:06:39,008
We were just getting
the rules straight. Ha, ha.
130
00:06:39,032 --> 00:06:42,811
Ronald, I told you I didn't
wanna see you anymore.
131
00:06:42,835 --> 00:06:44,480
I don't care. I
can't let you go.
132
00:06:44,504 --> 00:06:45,915
You mean too much to me.
133
00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:47,483
Not enough to get married.
134
00:06:47,507 --> 00:06:50,987
Hey, now, what's this big thing
you got about getting married?
135
00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:52,756
You know, we've been
happily living together
136
00:06:52,780 --> 00:06:54,324
for the past two years.
137
00:06:54,348 --> 00:06:56,860
Do you have to advertise it?
138
00:06:56,884 --> 00:06:59,929
Oh, uh, heh-heh. That's
okay. Nobody's listening.
139
00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:01,464
Who are you?
140
00:07:01,488 --> 00:07:02,599
Lorraine Hoffman.
141
00:07:02,623 --> 00:07:04,167
Lorraine is my cabinmate.
142
00:07:04,191 --> 00:07:06,368
Oh, wow, now, look at this.
143
00:07:06,392 --> 00:07:08,571
You're willing to share
your bedroom with her
144
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:10,473
and not be married. Why not me?
145
00:07:10,497 --> 00:07:11,941
MAN ( over PA ): Last call.
146
00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:13,109
All visitors ashore, please.
147
00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:14,176
( chuckles )
148
00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:15,545
Well, that's our cue.
149
00:07:15,569 --> 00:07:17,880
The boat will be leaving
in a minute. Heh-heh.
150
00:07:17,904 --> 00:07:20,082
It only takes a
minute to say "I do."
151
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:22,718
And it only takes a
second to say "I don't."
152
00:07:22,742 --> 00:07:23,886
Goodbye, Ronald.
153
00:07:23,910 --> 00:07:25,755
Aw, now, come on, Ginny.
154
00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,590
People in love today
don't get married.
155
00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:30,460
It spoils the relationship.
156
00:07:30,484 --> 00:07:33,396
You see, the thing
today is freedom.
157
00:07:33,420 --> 00:07:34,631
Didn't you see Roots?
158
00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:37,900
Yes, but I wanna start
a family, not trace one.
159
00:07:37,924 --> 00:07:40,669
Girl, it took us 300
years to get our freedom.
160
00:07:40,693 --> 00:07:42,806
You want me to give mine up now?
161
00:07:42,830 --> 00:07:45,897
Freedom? You're just afraid to
make a commitment, that's all.
162
00:07:47,201 --> 00:07:48,577
Do you know what
your problem is?
163
00:07:48,601 --> 00:07:51,447
You're immature
and irresponsible.
164
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,016
( laughs )
165
00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:56,852
Immature and irresponsible.
166
00:07:56,876 --> 00:08:00,089
Me, who owns his own
exterminating company,
167
00:08:00,113 --> 00:08:03,526
and I am listed in
the Yellow Pages.
168
00:08:03,550 --> 00:08:05,128
Goodbye, Ronald.
169
00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:06,795
But I don't understand.
170
00:08:06,819 --> 00:08:09,999
Then let me put in
words you will understand:
171
00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:11,489
bug off!
172
00:08:14,061 --> 00:08:16,305
You look very nice today.
173
00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:19,175
I have to go up to
Mrs. Skaugstad's cabin.
174
00:08:19,199 --> 00:08:20,543
Would you hold the fort for me?
175
00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:23,434
I'd rather hold the fort
than face the Indians.
176
00:08:25,538 --> 00:08:27,383
Oh, excuse me, please.
177
00:08:27,407 --> 00:08:28,851
I-is there a newsstand onboard?
178
00:08:28,875 --> 00:08:30,619
There's one in the gift
shop, but it's closed.
179
00:08:30,643 --> 00:08:32,222
Ah, well, what
time does it open?
180
00:08:32,246 --> 00:08:33,978
Nine in the morning. I...
181
00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:36,392
I need a friend.
182
00:08:36,416 --> 00:08:38,861
Can I help?
183
00:08:38,885 --> 00:08:39,885
Would you mind?
184
00:08:42,589 --> 00:08:43,866
My name is Sandy Rytell.
185
00:08:43,890 --> 00:08:45,823
Julie McCoy. Hi.
186
00:08:46,993 --> 00:08:49,739
Julie.
187
00:08:49,763 --> 00:08:50,963
You see that man over there?
188
00:08:55,402 --> 00:08:58,715
That's my fiancé,
Congressman Brockway.
189
00:08:58,739 --> 00:09:00,783
A long time ago,
before I ever met him,
190
00:09:00,807 --> 00:09:03,953
I... I posed for a
picture in a magazine.
191
00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:06,021
Uh-huh. No, I-I mean,
192
00:09:06,045 --> 00:09:09,392
I posed for a picture
in a magazine.
193
00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:10,749
Oh.
194
00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:15,498
Oh.
195
00:09:15,522 --> 00:09:19,135
Just you and a bearskin rug.
196
00:09:19,159 --> 00:09:21,693
Yes, but no rug, just...
Just the bare skin.
197
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,107
Uh, terrific.
198
00:09:24,131 --> 00:09:26,142
All... All this time and
it's never surfaced,
199
00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:28,444
until they found out I was
engaged to Brad, and...
200
00:09:28,468 --> 00:09:30,079
And it's coming out now.
201
00:09:30,103 --> 00:09:32,347
Yeah. And when it
hits the stand, he's...
202
00:09:32,371 --> 00:09:34,316
You know, he's just gonna
go... Go through the roof.
203
00:09:34,340 --> 00:09:36,285
I... I don't know
what I'm gonna do.
204
00:09:36,309 --> 00:09:37,720
I... I talked him into a cruise
205
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:38,954
to get him away from newsstands
206
00:09:38,978 --> 00:09:41,324
and Kitten magazine.
207
00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:44,582
Uh, Sandy, the newsstand
carries Kitten magazine.
208
00:09:47,453 --> 00:09:49,866
That's what I was afraid of.
209
00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:52,001
Well, I'll just be there
at 9:00 in the morning.
210
00:09:52,025 --> 00:09:53,368
'Cause if I'm not,
211
00:09:53,392 --> 00:09:55,632
I guess Miss June's gonna
be busting out all over.
212
00:09:57,197 --> 00:09:58,207
Sandy?
213
00:09:58,231 --> 00:09:59,375
Oh. Sweetheart.
214
00:09:59,399 --> 00:10:00,598
Excuse me.
215
00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:06,348
( upbeat theme playing )
216
00:10:06,372 --> 00:10:08,818
( horn blows )
217
00:10:08,842 --> 00:10:11,275
( all shouting goodbyes )
218
00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:15,347
Whoo!
219
00:10:25,892 --> 00:10:27,925
( blowing horn )
220
00:10:32,199 --> 00:10:33,176
( knock at door )
221
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:34,410
Come in.
222
00:10:34,434 --> 00:10:35,714
( door opens )
223
00:10:39,339 --> 00:10:40,505
Yes, sir.
224
00:10:41,908 --> 00:10:43,986
Good morning again, sir. Again.
225
00:10:44,010 --> 00:10:45,387
What's good about it?
226
00:10:45,411 --> 00:10:47,779
Well, it's nice to
hear your growl again.
227
00:10:50,017 --> 00:10:51,894
Don't be so
saccharine, Miss McCoy.
228
00:10:51,918 --> 00:10:54,563
It makes me feel that I'm
watching a Shirley Temple movie.
229
00:10:54,587 --> 00:10:56,231
Now, what do you
want? Well, first I'd like
230
00:10:56,255 --> 00:10:58,567
to figure out what everybody's
got against Shirley Temple.
231
00:10:58,591 --> 00:10:59,769
Miss McCoy.
232
00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:03,072
Well, sir, I don't
know if you're aware,
233
00:11:03,096 --> 00:11:04,773
but one of the
directors of the line...
234
00:11:04,797 --> 00:11:06,776
Aubrey Skaugstad.
235
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,077
Painfully aware.
236
00:11:08,101 --> 00:11:11,781
Um, there's a slight problem.
237
00:11:11,805 --> 00:11:13,016
Only slight?
238
00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:14,271
That's a surprise.
239
00:11:15,775 --> 00:11:18,921
Well, um... Um...
240
00:11:18,945 --> 00:11:21,590
Miss McCoy, if you
say "um" one more time,
241
00:11:21,614 --> 00:11:22,892
I'll have you keel.hauled.
242
00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:24,159
Now, what is your problem?
243
00:11:24,183 --> 00:11:25,183
Well, um...
244
00:11:26,152 --> 00:11:29,498
Uh, I invited Mr. and
Mrs. Skaugstad
245
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:32,468
to have dinner with you
tonight at your table, and...
246
00:11:32,492 --> 00:11:33,870
Don't tell me.
247
00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:37,339
Mrs. Skaugstad said that
she would be delighted
248
00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:41,032
to dine at the captain's
table if I eat someplace else.
249
00:11:42,435 --> 00:11:43,446
Right.
250
00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:46,749
I expected as much
from that woman.
251
00:11:46,773 --> 00:11:48,533
Well, then, there's no problem.
252
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:54,290
♪ On the good ship lollipop... ♪
253
00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:56,447
( mellow theme playing )
254
00:11:58,785 --> 00:12:00,385
( indistinct chatter )
255
00:12:01,922 --> 00:12:03,132
I guess Stubing decided
256
00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:05,234
discretion was the
better part of valor.
257
00:12:05,258 --> 00:12:07,603
If the director's wife says she
doesn't want you at her table,
258
00:12:07,627 --> 00:12:09,471
then you eat alone in your room.
259
00:12:09,495 --> 00:12:11,240
You didn't see the
look on his face.
260
00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:13,397
He'll be here.
261
00:12:20,307 --> 00:12:23,619
( soft piano music
playing in dining room )
262
00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:26,789
I told you he'd show.
263
00:12:26,813 --> 00:12:29,293
Maybe he didn't like
the company in his room.
264
00:12:30,016 --> 00:12:33,763
Ladies, gentlemen, Stacy.
265
00:12:33,787 --> 00:12:35,085
Merrill.
266
00:12:36,823 --> 00:12:40,502
Mr. Skaugstad, it's a pleasure
to welcome you aboard.
267
00:12:40,526 --> 00:12:43,194
I'm speaking for my entire crew.
268
00:12:45,599 --> 00:12:46,976
I got your joke message.
269
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,178
I was serious.
270
00:12:49,202 --> 00:12:51,380
Ha, ha. I am the captain.
271
00:12:51,404 --> 00:12:52,948
This is the captain's table.
272
00:12:52,972 --> 00:12:55,885
The captain sits at
the captain's table.
273
00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:58,854
It's not a question
of title, bozo.
274
00:12:58,878 --> 00:13:00,322
It's a question of
who has the muscle.
275
00:13:00,346 --> 00:13:03,614
Aubrey has the muscle
and I'm with Aubrey.
276
00:13:07,253 --> 00:13:08,253
I see.
277
00:13:10,089 --> 00:13:12,990
I wish you wouldn't
call me bozo.
278
00:13:14,828 --> 00:13:18,796
Lord, I hate a sweaty
forehead on a bald man.
279
00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:24,680
Ladies and gentlemen,
it's been a pleasure
280
00:13:24,704 --> 00:13:26,548
but I have duties on the bridge.
281
00:13:26,572 --> 00:13:27,916
Good evening.
282
00:13:27,940 --> 00:13:29,073
Good evening.
283
00:13:30,677 --> 00:13:31,909
Good evening.
284
00:13:41,021 --> 00:13:42,364
He didn't lose his temper.
285
00:13:42,388 --> 00:13:43,933
He's handling it very well.
286
00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:46,824
Yeah. It'll take a lot more
than this to rattle our captain.
287
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:54,899
( screams )
288
00:14:01,241 --> 00:14:02,339
Good evening.
289
00:14:10,717 --> 00:14:12,650
( upbeat theme playing )
290
00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:15,219
( knock at door )
291
00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:20,769
( knocking persists )
292
00:14:20,793 --> 00:14:22,104
Ten o'clock.
293
00:14:22,128 --> 00:14:23,372
Oh.
294
00:14:23,396 --> 00:14:25,074
Uh, who is it?
295
00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:26,175
Brad?
296
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:27,877
Oh, Brad, I can
explain everything.
297
00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:29,779
There's... There's this,
uh... There's this girl.
298
00:14:29,803 --> 00:14:31,914
She could be my
double. You just never...
299
00:14:31,938 --> 00:14:34,583
I know, you overslept.
300
00:14:34,607 --> 00:14:36,118
Well, you're lucky
you're a passenger.
301
00:14:36,142 --> 00:14:38,387
On Captain Stubing's
crew when you oversleep,
302
00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:39,411
you're overboard.
303
00:14:41,213 --> 00:14:42,391
Got 'em for you.
304
00:14:42,415 --> 00:14:43,826
Oh, Julie,
305
00:14:43,850 --> 00:14:46,028
how can I ever
thank you? Forget it.
306
00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:49,999
But, Sandy, if you
don't mind my asking,
307
00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:51,088
how could you...?
308
00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:53,638
Pose for a centerfold?
309
00:14:54,861 --> 00:14:57,106
Well, it's a long story.
310
00:14:57,130 --> 00:14:58,228
( sighs )
311
00:15:03,102 --> 00:15:04,347
I was in law school,
312
00:15:04,371 --> 00:15:07,449
and the tuition was
costing a fortune.
313
00:15:07,473 --> 00:15:10,086
Thank you.
314
00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:12,988
And I wanted to eat,
so I got a dark wig,
315
00:15:13,012 --> 00:15:14,456
used a phony name
and just prayed
316
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:15,680
no one would ever find out.
317
00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:19,695
Julie, I don't want
to lose Brad over this.
318
00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:21,697
I mean, he's the best thing
that ever happened to me.
319
00:15:21,721 --> 00:15:25,834
But he's gonna find out when
you get back to Los Angeles.
320
00:15:25,858 --> 00:15:28,704
I mean, you're going to have
to deal with it sooner or later.
321
00:15:28,728 --> 00:15:30,628
Better later than sooner.
322
00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:35,578
Well, I better get back to work.
323
00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:37,479
Well, thank you for
getting all the copies for me.
324
00:15:37,503 --> 00:15:40,582
Well, I got all the
copies they had... left.
325
00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:41,617
How many did they sell?
326
00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:42,818
Three.
327
00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:44,520
How am I gonna ever find 'em?
328
00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:46,988
It's gonna be like looking
for a needle in a haystack.
329
00:15:47,012 --> 00:15:48,357
Don't worry, I have a clue.
330
00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:49,525
What?
331
00:15:49,549 --> 00:15:51,282
All the buyers were men.
332
00:15:53,352 --> 00:15:55,798
STACY: I have never seen an
operation run more inefficiently.
333
00:15:55,822 --> 00:15:57,700
GOPHER: Well, now, I
wouldn't say inefficient.
334
00:15:57,724 --> 00:15:58,867
What would you say? Well, I...
335
00:15:58,891 --> 00:16:00,169
I'm not quite sure. Um, uh...
336
00:16:00,193 --> 00:16:01,837
Maybe I could get
back to you next week.
337
00:16:01,861 --> 00:16:03,706
Your passenger list is
an indecipherable mess.
338
00:16:03,730 --> 00:16:05,040
Now, ma'am, uh, wait a minute.
339
00:16:05,064 --> 00:16:06,942
I'm sorry about those
two typographical errors.
340
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,276
Really, is my face red. Boy.
341
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:09,612
Captain Stubing is constantly...
342
00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:11,246
Don't interrupt. Your
safe was unlocked.
343
00:16:11,270 --> 00:16:12,748
It was empty. Your
desk was littered.
344
00:16:12,772 --> 00:16:14,416
That's paperwork.
And you need a haircut.
345
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:15,440
( sighs )
346
00:16:16,542 --> 00:16:18,643
( upbeat theme playing )
347
00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:22,925
Well, believe me, you can
never find enough baskets.
348
00:16:22,949 --> 00:16:24,693
And Puerto
Vallarta has the best.
349
00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:26,829
Not anymore. You've
got them all now.
350
00:16:26,853 --> 00:16:28,797
What do you plan to
do with them, anyway?
351
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,933
Oh, the same thing I did
with the ones last year.
352
00:16:30,957 --> 00:16:33,023
Put 'em in the attic.
353
00:16:36,095 --> 00:16:37,506
GINNY: Can you make it?
354
00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:38,941
LORRAINE: Ah, I think so.
355
00:16:38,965 --> 00:16:40,976
Here, let me help you.
356
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,300
Oh, thanks.
357
00:16:47,073 --> 00:16:49,218
( gasps )
358
00:16:49,242 --> 00:16:51,553
You don't think I bought
too much jewelry, do you?
359
00:16:51,577 --> 00:16:52,722
No.
360
00:16:52,746 --> 00:16:54,556
Besides, if you
ever get tired of it,
361
00:16:54,580 --> 00:16:56,658
you can melt it all down
and make yourself a car.
362
00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:58,282
( both laugh )
363
00:17:02,288 --> 00:17:04,055
Oh.
364
00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:09,705
( lively percussive
theme playing )
365
00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:11,206
Guess who's coming to dinner.
366
00:17:11,230 --> 00:17:13,742
Buenas días, Mama.
367
00:17:13,766 --> 00:17:15,711
I don't believe it.
368
00:17:15,735 --> 00:17:17,212
What should I do?
How should I act?
369
00:17:17,236 --> 00:17:19,148
Play it cool, now.
Just play it cool.
370
00:17:19,172 --> 00:17:20,249
Ha-ha!
371
00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:21,583
Ronald, don't tell me
372
00:17:21,607 --> 00:17:23,685
you flew all the way down here.
373
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:27,811
Nope, I was just coming
to get my car washed.
374
00:17:30,949 --> 00:17:34,629
You must really love me,
Ronald, to follow me this far, huh?
375
00:17:34,653 --> 00:17:36,132
You bet I do.
376
00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:38,300
But I know somebody
who doesn't love me.
377
00:17:38,324 --> 00:17:39,802
Who?
378
00:17:39,826 --> 00:17:40,936
Lady who lives in L.A.
379
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:42,337
waiting for me to
kill her termites.
380
00:17:42,361 --> 00:17:44,673
Yeah, well, you know what
you're always say about termites.
381
00:17:44,697 --> 00:17:45,774
Right.
382
00:17:45,798 --> 00:17:48,577
Don't worry about
your termites, lady,
383
00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:51,280
because when your
house falls, it'll kill them.
384
00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:52,548
( laughs )
385
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:55,451
This is so romantic.
386
00:17:55,475 --> 00:17:57,285
Just think of it,
387
00:17:57,309 --> 00:17:59,955
one of these days I'll
be able to tell our children
388
00:17:59,979 --> 00:18:02,658
that their daddy came
all the way to Mexico
389
00:18:02,682 --> 00:18:05,461
and swept me off my feet.
390
00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:07,696
Children?
391
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:08,997
Daddy?
392
00:18:09,021 --> 00:18:10,266
( clears throat )
393
00:18:10,290 --> 00:18:12,368
Check, please.
394
00:18:12,392 --> 00:18:13,702
Ronald, do you mean to tell me
395
00:18:13,726 --> 00:18:15,904
you didn't come
down here to propose?
396
00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:18,941
Uh, I came down here
to propose that we, uh,
397
00:18:18,965 --> 00:18:20,709
keep living together.
398
00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:24,012
But I wanna wear a white
dress and walk down the aisle.
399
00:18:24,036 --> 00:18:26,682
Well, you can wear a white
dress the next time we walk
400
00:18:26,706 --> 00:18:28,217
down the aisle at
the supermarket.
401
00:18:28,241 --> 00:18:31,286
No. Look, I'm tired of going
to parties and being introduced
402
00:18:31,310 --> 00:18:32,888
as Ronald Baker and Ginny.
403
00:18:32,912 --> 00:18:35,690
I'm tired of having both
our names on the mailbox,
404
00:18:35,714 --> 00:18:37,959
and I'm especially tired of us
each having a charge account
405
00:18:37,983 --> 00:18:38,960
at the grocer's.
406
00:18:38,984 --> 00:18:41,229
Hey, that's no problem.
407
00:18:41,253 --> 00:18:43,099
We'll just use your
charge account.
408
00:18:43,123 --> 00:18:46,368
And the absolute worst
thing is even after two years,
409
00:18:46,392 --> 00:18:47,636
when we go to
your parents' house
410
00:18:47,660 --> 00:18:49,472
your mother still
gives me dirty looks.
411
00:18:49,496 --> 00:18:51,773
That's just your imagination.
412
00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:54,175
She doesn't even know
we're living together.
413
00:18:54,199 --> 00:18:55,177
What?
414
00:18:55,201 --> 00:18:56,578
You've never even told them?
415
00:18:56,602 --> 00:18:59,615
Uh, I guess it just kind
of slipped my mind.
416
00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:02,017
See? Even you're ashamed of it.
417
00:19:02,041 --> 00:19:03,752
How would you feel if
your father and mother
418
00:19:03,776 --> 00:19:04,787
were living together?
419
00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:07,456
They are living together.
420
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:09,458
But they're married.
421
00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:11,026
Ronald, you're hopeless.
422
00:19:11,050 --> 00:19:12,027
MAN ( over PA ): Last call.
423
00:19:12,051 --> 00:19:13,361
All visitors ashore, please.
424
00:19:13,385 --> 00:19:16,531
Goodbye. You've
gotta get off the boat.
425
00:19:16,555 --> 00:19:18,833
Well, you just missed
the boat yourself, Mama.
426
00:19:18,857 --> 00:19:21,103
The USS Black Prince.
427
00:19:21,127 --> 00:19:23,038
Leaving for ghettos and beyond.
428
00:19:23,062 --> 00:19:24,873
We got a good cuisine too.
429
00:19:24,897 --> 00:19:27,409
Chitlins, spareribs, pork chops.
430
00:19:27,433 --> 00:19:30,345
You're gonna miss all that.
Candied yam, collard greens,
431
00:19:30,369 --> 00:19:32,547
turnips, everything.
432
00:19:32,571 --> 00:19:34,049
Yammy mammies too.
433
00:19:34,073 --> 00:19:36,007
( upbeat theme playing )
434
00:19:45,485 --> 00:19:46,828
These should help.
435
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:48,196
Just munch on a couple
436
00:19:48,220 --> 00:19:50,466
when you feel that
burning in your stomach.
437
00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:54,370
It must be rewarding to see
me reduced to a quivering hulk.
438
00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:57,239
No, not at all, sir.
Oh, please. I know.
439
00:19:57,263 --> 00:19:59,074
The crew is enjoying this.
440
00:19:59,098 --> 00:20:01,544
Seeing me rolling
over and playing dead.
441
00:20:01,568 --> 00:20:03,912
Groveling, acting
like a whipped cur.
442
00:20:03,936 --> 00:20:05,580
Mrs. Skaugstad's
really getting to you.
443
00:20:05,604 --> 00:20:07,182
You had to bring her up?
444
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:09,518
She'd like to see
me buried at sea.
445
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:12,154
Oh, come now,
captain. Mrs. Skaugstad?
446
00:20:12,178 --> 00:20:14,456
Why would she want to do
that? She's a perfect stranger.
447
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:18,227
She's not perfect,
and she is no stranger.
448
00:20:18,251 --> 00:20:21,830
I was married to that
woman for 17 years.
449
00:20:21,854 --> 00:20:23,532
You and she...?
450
00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:24,989
Boggles the mind, doesn't it?
451
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:30,572
In the beginning...
452
00:20:30,596 --> 00:20:35,410
In the beginning, we were two
young people incredibly in love.
453
00:20:35,434 --> 00:20:40,248
She was beautiful,
sweet, loving.
454
00:20:40,272 --> 00:20:46,743
I was handsome, kind, adoring.
455
00:20:48,714 --> 00:20:52,994
Then, like many other men,
456
00:20:53,018 --> 00:20:54,129
I took a mistress.
457
00:20:54,153 --> 00:20:56,131
Ahhh.
458
00:20:56,155 --> 00:21:01,057
Immense, mysterious,
overpowering.
459
00:21:03,429 --> 00:21:05,174
I've always liked
the big ones too.
460
00:21:05,198 --> 00:21:08,243
I'm talking about the sea.
461
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:09,444
Oh.
462
00:21:09,468 --> 00:21:12,214
Stacy wanted me to
become a captain of industry.
463
00:21:12,238 --> 00:21:15,350
Instead I became
a captain of ships,
464
00:21:15,374 --> 00:21:18,087
and Stacy became a bitter woman.
465
00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:20,122
There just wasn't
enough room in my life
466
00:21:20,146 --> 00:21:22,257
for both her and the sea.
467
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:23,559
I'm sorry it didn't work out.
468
00:21:23,583 --> 00:21:25,294
Oh, it's all right.
469
00:21:25,318 --> 00:21:28,163
You know, I think she would
have put up with everything else
470
00:21:28,187 --> 00:21:30,932
if she hadn't hated
her name so much.
471
00:21:30,956 --> 00:21:31,956
Stacy?
472
00:21:33,392 --> 00:21:35,226
Stubing.
473
00:21:36,695 --> 00:21:38,328
Stacy Stubing?
474
00:22:00,953 --> 00:22:02,886
( soft theme playing )
475
00:22:18,037 --> 00:22:19,981
Oh! Oh, I'm sorry!
476
00:22:20,005 --> 00:22:22,017
I'm so... Oh!
477
00:22:22,041 --> 00:22:23,240
I'm sorry.
478
00:22:24,377 --> 00:22:27,010
Hey, you took the best part.
479
00:22:31,016 --> 00:22:32,360
We'll be docking soon.
480
00:22:32,384 --> 00:22:34,363
You'll love Cabo San Lucas.
481
00:22:34,387 --> 00:22:36,365
Oh, I'm not going ashore.
482
00:22:36,389 --> 00:22:41,136
I know my coffee's great, but it
ain't worth hanging around for.
483
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:43,226
Well, I don't know.
484
00:22:51,103 --> 00:22:53,181
Hi. Well, what do you think?
485
00:22:53,205 --> 00:22:56,151
Nice. But what happened
to your Mexican look?
486
00:22:56,175 --> 00:23:00,522
( posh accent ): Darling, Cabo
is not the place to go native.
487
00:23:00,546 --> 00:23:03,859
It's crawling with billionaires
and beautiful people.
488
00:23:03,883 --> 00:23:05,527
Oh, you'll knock
'em dead, Lorraine.
489
00:23:05,551 --> 00:23:07,830
Ah, we'll knock 'em dead.
490
00:23:07,854 --> 00:23:11,633
We are gonna
paint this town roja.
491
00:23:11,657 --> 00:23:13,168
Oh, you paint it alone.
492
00:23:13,192 --> 00:23:15,637
I'm gonna wait
around here for a while.
493
00:23:15,661 --> 00:23:16,994
What are you gonna wait for?
494
00:23:18,297 --> 00:23:20,575
Oh.
495
00:23:20,599 --> 00:23:23,244
You've got a thing
for one of the crew.
496
00:23:23,268 --> 00:23:26,114
No, I'm gonna wait for Ronald.
497
00:23:26,138 --> 00:23:27,783
By the time he drives
all the way down here
498
00:23:27,807 --> 00:23:30,452
he'll be so exhausted, I'll be
able to talk him into anything.
499
00:23:30,476 --> 00:23:32,921
You really think he's
gonna keep chasing you
500
00:23:32,945 --> 00:23:35,089
after you kicked him
out on his cucaracha?
501
00:23:35,113 --> 00:23:36,224
Sure.
502
00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:38,159
He doesn't give up that easily.
503
00:23:38,183 --> 00:23:39,828
Ronald may not realize it yet,
504
00:23:39,852 --> 00:23:41,930
but deep down inside,
he wants to get married
505
00:23:41,954 --> 00:23:43,465
just as much as I do.
506
00:23:43,489 --> 00:23:45,934
Ah, but are you sure you do?
507
00:23:45,958 --> 00:23:47,435
Of course I am.
508
00:23:47,459 --> 00:23:49,104
Why?
509
00:23:49,128 --> 00:23:50,605
Lots of reasons.
510
00:23:50,629 --> 00:23:52,674
Well, let's hear 'em.
511
00:23:52,698 --> 00:23:54,710
Companionship. Get a dog.
512
00:23:54,734 --> 00:23:56,311
Security.
513
00:23:56,335 --> 00:23:57,579
Make it a German shepherd.
514
00:23:57,603 --> 00:23:59,748
I'd like kids.
515
00:23:59,772 --> 00:24:01,705
I'll give you one of mine.
516
00:24:03,443 --> 00:24:04,841
But you have to give them back.
517
00:24:06,145 --> 00:24:08,223
I take it your marriage
didn't work out.
518
00:24:08,247 --> 00:24:09,224
Oh, it did.
519
00:24:09,248 --> 00:24:12,260
I worked, he went out.
520
00:24:12,284 --> 00:24:14,263
It's not gonna be
that way with Ronald.
521
00:24:14,287 --> 00:24:17,666
Once I get that ring on
his finger, it's forever.
522
00:24:17,690 --> 00:24:19,268
He'll never take it off.
523
00:24:19,292 --> 00:24:22,103
Play it safe, honey.
524
00:24:22,127 --> 00:24:24,239
Have it made a couple
of sizes too small.
525
00:24:24,263 --> 00:24:26,864
( upbeat theme playing )
526
00:24:48,220 --> 00:24:50,532
Uh, excuse me, could
I have a light, please?
527
00:24:50,556 --> 00:24:51,788
Sure.
528
00:24:57,830 --> 00:24:58,990
Thank you.
529
00:25:00,199 --> 00:25:02,110
Sandy, I'm so glad
I finally found you...
530
00:25:02,134 --> 00:25:03,779
Oh, it's just a small
fire. Self-defense...
531
00:25:03,803 --> 00:25:06,103
Huh? ( man yells )
532
00:25:09,541 --> 00:25:11,053
( snickers ) I only
gotta find one more.
533
00:25:11,077 --> 00:25:13,488
Well, you can stop
looking. Doc's got it.
534
00:25:13,512 --> 00:25:14,556
The... The ship's doctor?
535
00:25:14,580 --> 00:25:16,380
Yeah, that's why
they call him Doc.
536
00:25:18,016 --> 00:25:19,296
I think I've got a cold.
537
00:25:40,606 --> 00:25:41,583
May I help you?
538
00:25:41,607 --> 00:25:43,819
I got a terrible cold.
539
00:25:43,843 --> 00:25:46,154
Did you run out of Kleenex?
540
00:25:46,178 --> 00:25:47,689
( chuckles ) ( laughs )
541
00:25:47,713 --> 00:25:49,633
Uh... Come in, please.
542
00:25:54,119 --> 00:25:55,819
Wanna hop up on the table?
543
00:26:03,562 --> 00:26:04,595
( coughs )
544
00:26:07,132 --> 00:26:08,999
Boy, that's a nasty cough.
545
00:26:10,536 --> 00:26:12,435
Well, let's have a look at you.
546
00:26:15,908 --> 00:26:17,707
Mm-hm.
547
00:26:18,978 --> 00:26:20,510
Mm-hm.
548
00:26:21,781 --> 00:26:24,726
Funny, you don't seem
to have a temperature.
549
00:26:24,750 --> 00:26:27,362
But you're kind of flushed.
550
00:26:27,386 --> 00:26:29,697
I don't think you
have a cold at all.
551
00:26:29,721 --> 00:26:32,935
But you are suffering
from acute embarrassment,
552
00:26:32,959 --> 00:26:36,694
possibly caused by,
um, overexposure.
553
00:26:39,932 --> 00:26:41,365
You knew all along?
554
00:26:43,735 --> 00:26:46,247
I never forget a face.
555
00:26:46,271 --> 00:26:49,317
What's wrong? Are
you ashamed of that?
556
00:26:49,341 --> 00:26:50,652
I am mortified.
557
00:26:50,676 --> 00:26:52,854
Look, I'm a doctor.
558
00:26:52,878 --> 00:26:55,123
I see an awful lot of bodies.
559
00:26:55,147 --> 00:26:59,061
Once I had a guy so fat, I
needed two examination tables.
560
00:26:59,085 --> 00:27:01,596
( both chuckle )
561
00:27:01,620 --> 00:27:03,031
As far as I'm concerned,
562
00:27:03,055 --> 00:27:05,567
you really have nothing
to be ashamed of.
563
00:27:05,591 --> 00:27:06,834
Well, thank you.
564
00:27:06,858 --> 00:27:09,271
But it's not what you
think that concerns me.
565
00:27:09,295 --> 00:27:10,855
It's what my
fiancé's gonna think.
566
00:27:11,830 --> 00:27:13,308
You're trying to hide
this from the man
567
00:27:13,332 --> 00:27:15,343
who's gonna be your husband?
568
00:27:15,367 --> 00:27:16,878
Now, look, it's none
of my business,
569
00:27:16,902 --> 00:27:19,614
but if you're gonna
marry the guy,
570
00:27:19,638 --> 00:27:21,349
you'd better start
being honest with him.
571
00:27:21,373 --> 00:27:24,319
I know, that's what Julie said.
572
00:27:24,343 --> 00:27:26,154
I've got so much to lose.
573
00:27:26,178 --> 00:27:27,689
You're gonna have
a lot more to lose
574
00:27:27,713 --> 00:27:30,193
if you don't level with him now.
575
00:27:31,651 --> 00:27:33,528
( quiet upbeat theme playing )
576
00:27:33,552 --> 00:27:34,985
You're right.
577
00:27:36,655 --> 00:27:38,088
Thank you, doctor.
578
00:27:40,725 --> 00:27:43,271
Uh, I'm sorry I
ruined your magazine.
579
00:27:43,295 --> 00:27:45,373
Oh, I never look
at the centerfolds.
580
00:27:45,397 --> 00:27:47,277
I just buy them
for the articles.
581
00:27:54,807 --> 00:27:57,385
MAN ( over PA ): The Pacific
Princess will be leaving Cabo San Lucas
582
00:27:57,409 --> 00:27:58,409
in 30 minutes.
583
00:28:01,447 --> 00:28:02,990
Hi. I'm back.
584
00:28:03,014 --> 00:28:04,959
Well, how was Cabo San Lucas?
585
00:28:04,983 --> 00:28:06,995
Oh, what a day.
586
00:28:07,019 --> 00:28:08,529
Are you ready for this?
587
00:28:08,553 --> 00:28:12,533
I had four Tom Collins,
three Jack Daniels
588
00:28:12,557 --> 00:28:14,035
and a Paco Martinez.
589
00:28:14,059 --> 00:28:15,704
What's a Paco Martinez?
590
00:28:15,728 --> 00:28:17,238
He's a beach boy at the hotel.
591
00:28:17,262 --> 00:28:19,396
Ooh, and a great dancer.
592
00:28:20,665 --> 00:28:23,044
So how was your day?
593
00:28:23,068 --> 00:28:24,779
He didn't show up.
594
00:28:24,803 --> 00:28:25,914
Aw. I guess I didn't know him
595
00:28:25,938 --> 00:28:27,381
as well as I thought
I did, Lorraine.
596
00:28:27,405 --> 00:28:28,516
We never do.
597
00:28:28,540 --> 00:28:31,319
Well, someone's in a big hurry.
598
00:28:31,343 --> 00:28:32,654
Look at that boat.
599
00:28:32,678 --> 00:28:35,657
Oh, well, Paco said
he'd follow me anywhere,
600
00:28:35,681 --> 00:28:37,592
but I just thought he
was putting me on.
601
00:28:37,616 --> 00:28:39,795
( both laugh )
602
00:28:39,819 --> 00:28:42,430
RONALD: Now hear
this, Ginny O'Brien!
603
00:28:42,454 --> 00:28:43,620
It is me!
604
00:28:44,723 --> 00:28:45,834
Ronald!
605
00:28:45,858 --> 00:28:47,836
It's Ronald!
606
00:28:47,860 --> 00:28:49,337
Ronald!
607
00:28:49,361 --> 00:28:51,072
Get off the boat, woman.
608
00:28:51,096 --> 00:28:52,274
I love you.
609
00:28:52,298 --> 00:28:55,009
I love you too!
610
00:28:55,033 --> 00:28:57,779
I miss you!
611
00:28:57,803 --> 00:29:00,449
I miss you too!
612
00:29:00,473 --> 00:29:02,739
Then get off the boat, woman.
613
00:29:05,044 --> 00:29:07,289
Will you marry me?
614
00:29:07,313 --> 00:29:10,647
I cannot hear you.
615
00:29:12,885 --> 00:29:14,429
Goodbye, Ronald.
616
00:29:14,453 --> 00:29:16,164
Hey, now, wait a minute, Ginny.
617
00:29:16,188 --> 00:29:19,567
You'll never find
another man like me.
618
00:29:19,591 --> 00:29:23,538
I wouldn't look for
another man like you.
619
00:29:23,562 --> 00:29:25,740
Look here, Ginny,
620
00:29:25,764 --> 00:29:28,343
no man could ever love
you or take care of you
621
00:29:28,367 --> 00:29:29,611
the way that I will.
622
00:29:29,635 --> 00:29:32,580
What more could
you possibly want?
623
00:29:32,604 --> 00:29:35,050
I want your name!
624
00:29:35,074 --> 00:29:38,241
Okay, then, I'll
call you Ronald.
625
00:29:41,213 --> 00:29:43,280
Adiós, muchacho.
626
00:29:44,583 --> 00:29:47,028
( upbeat dramatic
theme playing )
627
00:29:47,052 --> 00:29:49,552
This is sure the biggest
creek I've ever been up.
628
00:30:00,298 --> 00:30:03,578
I pledge to wage an unflinching
battle against the poor.
629
00:30:03,602 --> 00:30:04,846
( quietly ): No, poverty.
630
00:30:04,870 --> 00:30:07,115
Against poverty. A...
An unflinching battle
631
00:30:07,139 --> 00:30:09,283
against poverty,
and I also feel that...
632
00:30:09,307 --> 00:30:10,707
( knock at door )
633
00:30:14,146 --> 00:30:15,123
Hiya, sweetheart. Hi.
634
00:30:15,147 --> 00:30:16,124
D-don't say anything.
635
00:30:16,148 --> 00:30:17,291
I... I got something
to tell you.
636
00:30:17,315 --> 00:30:18,527
No, I got something to show you.
637
00:30:18,551 --> 00:30:20,929
This is me.
638
00:30:20,953 --> 00:30:22,564
Nice wig.
639
00:30:22,588 --> 00:30:24,465
Now, I posed for this long
before we were engaged.
640
00:30:24,489 --> 00:30:25,769
Long before I ever knew you.
641
00:30:28,159 --> 00:30:30,104
If you never wanna see
me again, I don't blame you.
642
00:30:30,128 --> 00:30:32,128
Oh, honey, I wanna
see you again.
643
00:30:33,198 --> 00:30:34,676
And again.
644
00:30:34,700 --> 00:30:36,633
( romantic theme playing )
645
00:30:43,642 --> 00:30:46,721
I'm gonna be married to a woman
other men can only dream about.
646
00:30:46,745 --> 00:30:48,456
And I don't care if
your picture's plastered
647
00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:50,525
on the side of the
Empire State Building,
648
00:30:50,549 --> 00:30:51,581
I love you.
649
00:30:54,186 --> 00:30:56,731
But what about your campaign?
Isn't this gonna cost you votes?
650
00:30:56,755 --> 00:30:58,133
Sandy, I look at it this way:
651
00:30:58,157 --> 00:31:00,535
a guy named Carter
confessed his lust in Playboy,
652
00:31:00,559 --> 00:31:02,203
and he got to be president.
653
00:31:02,227 --> 00:31:05,027
I figure with this, they
could vote me king.
654
00:31:07,832 --> 00:31:10,178
All right, come here. All right.
655
00:31:10,202 --> 00:31:11,179
( both laugh )
656
00:31:11,203 --> 00:31:12,314
Yeah.
657
00:31:12,338 --> 00:31:14,271
( funky dance music playing )
658
00:31:16,809 --> 00:31:18,741
( funky dance music continues )
659
00:31:32,858 --> 00:31:34,268
LORRAINE: Hello.
660
00:31:34,292 --> 00:31:36,404
Oh, I don't think I can go
through with this, Lorraine.
661
00:31:36,428 --> 00:31:38,739
Oh, just have a drink.
It'll calm you down.
662
00:31:38,763 --> 00:31:40,108
Oh, I'm not much of a drinker.
663
00:31:40,132 --> 00:31:42,276
Oh, just a little
sip of something.
664
00:31:42,300 --> 00:31:43,979
It'll take the edge off.
665
00:31:44,003 --> 00:31:46,203
We'll have two straight
double bourbons.
666
00:31:47,305 --> 00:31:49,683
Uh, listen, no sense your
walking back and forth.
667
00:31:49,707 --> 00:31:51,853
Bring the bottle.
668
00:31:51,877 --> 00:31:54,688
Well, we might
want a second one.
669
00:31:54,712 --> 00:31:57,058
Look, I'm not even
sure I want the first one.
670
00:31:57,082 --> 00:31:58,159
( sighs )
671
00:31:58,183 --> 00:31:59,694
Trust me, okay?
672
00:31:59,718 --> 00:32:01,463
Now, enough small talk.
673
00:32:01,487 --> 00:32:03,064
Let's meet some men.
674
00:32:03,088 --> 00:32:05,366
Oh, I don't think
I remember how.
675
00:32:05,390 --> 00:32:08,536
The first step is
dangling the bait
676
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:10,571
so he'll throw
his line your way.
677
00:32:10,595 --> 00:32:12,740
Oh, I know I don't
know how to dangle.
678
00:32:12,764 --> 00:32:15,343
It comes with the package.
679
00:32:15,367 --> 00:32:18,012
You've got your eyes,
you've got your mouth,
680
00:32:18,036 --> 00:32:19,347
you've got my pushup bra.
681
00:32:19,371 --> 00:32:20,371
Just follow me.
682
00:32:27,379 --> 00:32:28,379
Okay.
683
00:32:38,556 --> 00:32:40,390
( mambo music playing )
684
00:32:50,269 --> 00:32:51,712
( all laughing )
685
00:32:51,736 --> 00:32:53,436
( all applaud )
686
00:32:55,707 --> 00:32:57,318
♪ Da-da-da-da-da, da ♪
687
00:32:57,342 --> 00:32:59,387
♪ Da-da-da-da, da ♪
688
00:32:59,411 --> 00:33:01,089
♪ Da-da-da-da-da, da ♪
689
00:33:01,113 --> 00:33:02,979
♪ Da-da-da-da, da ♪
690
00:33:04,883 --> 00:33:06,817
( lonely theme playing )
691
00:33:11,023 --> 00:33:12,956
( upbeat theme playing )
692
00:33:16,428 --> 00:33:19,073
STACY: I want to see
your recreation supply list,
693
00:33:19,097 --> 00:33:20,875
your master
entertainment schedule,
694
00:33:20,899 --> 00:33:23,211
your musicians' payments
and your convention procedures.
695
00:33:23,235 --> 00:33:24,578
Gladly, Mrs. Skaugstad.
696
00:33:24,602 --> 00:33:26,347
Captain Stubing
is very particular
697
00:33:26,371 --> 00:33:28,116
about administrative details.
698
00:33:28,140 --> 00:33:30,418
You... like Captain Stubing?
699
00:33:30,442 --> 00:33:32,553
Oh, yes. He's a
marvelous person.
700
00:33:32,577 --> 00:33:34,010
You've been drinking on duty.
701
00:33:36,148 --> 00:33:38,126
That Mr. Skaugstad
is something else.
702
00:33:38,150 --> 00:33:39,760
He never says a word.
703
00:33:39,784 --> 00:33:42,296
With her for a wife, he
never gets the chance.
704
00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:43,598
I wonder where she is now.
705
00:33:43,622 --> 00:33:46,000
The engine room. Checking
the gaskets and shims.
706
00:33:46,024 --> 00:33:48,135
GOPHER: She just got
through in the laundry.
707
00:33:48,159 --> 00:33:51,159
( imitating Stacy ): Lord, I
hate ring around the collar.
708
00:33:52,164 --> 00:33:53,875
How come the captain's
letting this happen?
709
00:33:53,899 --> 00:33:55,009
We've gotta do something.
710
00:33:55,033 --> 00:33:57,434
How about we hire a hit man?
711
00:33:58,503 --> 00:34:00,081
He can't do anything.
712
00:34:00,105 --> 00:34:03,251
Why not? Because.
713
00:34:03,275 --> 00:34:06,321
Great answer. You
must be a college grad.
714
00:34:06,345 --> 00:34:11,314
I really shouldn't
be telling this, but...
715
00:34:13,218 --> 00:34:16,431
Mrs. Skaugstad is
Captain Stubing's ex-wife.
716
00:34:16,455 --> 00:34:18,666
Oh, no. Are you serious?
717
00:34:18,690 --> 00:34:21,035
JULIE: Well, that
explains everything.
718
00:34:21,059 --> 00:34:23,704
I can't imagine the
two of them together.
719
00:34:23,728 --> 00:34:25,173
Beauty and the beast.
720
00:34:25,197 --> 00:34:27,141
Beast and the
beast is more like it.
721
00:34:27,165 --> 00:34:29,711
Okay, now, but Captain
Stubing is our beast.
722
00:34:29,735 --> 00:34:31,179
There's only one thing to do.
723
00:34:31,203 --> 00:34:33,280
Right. The hit man.
724
00:34:33,304 --> 00:34:34,882
BRICKER: No.
725
00:34:34,906 --> 00:34:38,119
I'll have to stand up to her.
726
00:34:38,143 --> 00:34:40,187
I know how to handle
this type of woman.
727
00:34:40,211 --> 00:34:43,024
I wasn't married
four times for nothing.
728
00:34:43,048 --> 00:34:46,828
I mean, you can not
allow a woman of this kind
729
00:34:46,852 --> 00:34:48,729
to push you around.
730
00:34:48,753 --> 00:34:51,132
What is going on in here?
731
00:34:51,156 --> 00:34:53,267
Mrs. Skaugstad, welcome.
732
00:34:53,291 --> 00:34:54,769
How nice to see you again.
733
00:34:54,793 --> 00:34:56,638
My, what a lovely
outfit you have on.
734
00:34:56,662 --> 00:34:58,060
Stuff a sock in it, buster.
735
00:35:00,432 --> 00:35:02,143
Show me your
supply requisitions.
736
00:35:02,167 --> 00:35:03,144
Yes, Mrs. Skaugstad.
737
00:35:03,168 --> 00:35:05,648
Right away, Mrs. Skaugstad.
738
00:35:06,404 --> 00:35:08,249
( clears throat )
739
00:35:08,273 --> 00:35:10,952
Uh! Is this a medical facility
or a convention center?
740
00:35:10,976 --> 00:35:12,253
Well, we were
just on our way out.
741
00:35:12,277 --> 00:35:14,355
( all chatter indistinctly )
742
00:35:14,379 --> 00:35:18,459
Lord, I love
nervous perspiration.
743
00:35:18,483 --> 00:35:20,094
Yours too.
744
00:35:20,118 --> 00:35:21,762
LORRAINE: Ginny.
745
00:35:21,786 --> 00:35:23,031
Hm.
746
00:35:23,055 --> 00:35:25,433
Ginny, we're leaving Ensenada
747
00:35:25,457 --> 00:35:26,589
and you didn't even see it.
748
00:35:28,694 --> 00:35:31,605
Do these eyes look like they
wanted to see Ensenada?
749
00:35:31,629 --> 00:35:34,798
Yuck. They don't even look
like they wanna be in your head.
750
00:35:36,134 --> 00:35:38,680
Lorraine, what was I
doing with a life preserver
751
00:35:38,704 --> 00:35:40,515
in my bed this morning?
752
00:35:40,539 --> 00:35:42,050
Well, see,
753
00:35:42,074 --> 00:35:44,185
after you made the band
play Nearer, My God, to Thee,
754
00:35:44,209 --> 00:35:47,087
you started mumbling
something about an iceberg,
755
00:35:47,111 --> 00:35:48,311
and women and children first.
756
00:35:49,247 --> 00:35:50,424
I didn't do that.
757
00:35:50,448 --> 00:35:51,448
Oh, yes, you did.
758
00:35:53,852 --> 00:35:55,930
Well, I do remember one thing.
759
00:35:55,954 --> 00:35:58,632
At some point last night I
decided I was having fun.
760
00:35:58,656 --> 00:36:01,357
Well, good for you.
761
00:36:05,530 --> 00:36:08,031
Well, we're gonna leave
Ensenada and Ronald didn't show.
762
00:36:10,435 --> 00:36:11,967
I guess he finally gave up, huh?
763
00:36:23,649 --> 00:36:25,582
( wacky theme playing )
764
00:36:40,164 --> 00:36:43,043
Hey, gimme a break, brother!
765
00:36:43,067 --> 00:36:45,079
You know, I could help
you with the driving, man.
766
00:36:45,103 --> 00:36:46,168
Don't be like that!
767
00:36:49,374 --> 00:36:52,386
( upbeat theme playing )
768
00:36:52,410 --> 00:36:54,189
And for dessert,
ladies and gentlemen,
769
00:36:54,213 --> 00:36:57,892
I think you might be amused
by our flaming cherries jubilee.
770
00:36:57,916 --> 00:36:58,893
Oh.
771
00:36:58,917 --> 00:37:00,194
( in French )
772
00:37:00,218 --> 00:37:03,119
Burning cherries is
a bundle of laughs.
773
00:37:05,089 --> 00:37:08,235
She just keeps pushing
him and pushing him.
774
00:37:08,259 --> 00:37:09,704
It's like the guys
at the bullfights,
775
00:37:09,728 --> 00:37:12,039
the one that stick the spears
in the bull before they kill it.
776
00:37:12,063 --> 00:37:13,207
What do they call those guys?
777
00:37:13,231 --> 00:37:15,275
I think the technical
term is "bull stickers."
778
00:37:15,299 --> 00:37:16,777
Well, I'm not gonna
watch any more.
779
00:37:16,801 --> 00:37:18,413
I don't wanna be
around for the kill.
780
00:37:18,437 --> 00:37:19,514
Me neither.
781
00:37:19,538 --> 00:37:20,881
I couldn't stand
to see her awarded
782
00:37:20,905 --> 00:37:22,805
his ears and his tail.
783
00:37:24,209 --> 00:37:27,121
I'm going to keep the
pressure on, Merrill.
784
00:37:27,145 --> 00:37:29,256
You do know that.
785
00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:30,825
Really?
786
00:37:30,849 --> 00:37:32,627
I hadn't noticed any pressure.
787
00:37:32,651 --> 00:37:36,631
How come you're
not defending yourself,
788
00:37:36,655 --> 00:37:39,015
or do you always leave
that up to your crew?
789
00:37:41,126 --> 00:37:42,102
My crew?
790
00:37:42,126 --> 00:37:43,237
Mm.
791
00:37:43,261 --> 00:37:46,541
For some bizarre reason,
they seem to admire you.
792
00:37:46,565 --> 00:37:49,231
( scoffing ): Although
I can't imagine why.
793
00:37:52,270 --> 00:37:54,549
Ladies and gentlemen,
uh, please excuse me,
794
00:37:54,573 --> 00:37:57,652
but I have to pass up dessert.
795
00:37:57,676 --> 00:38:01,188
The responsibilities
of my position
796
00:38:01,212 --> 00:38:03,646
require my immediate attention.
797
00:38:07,786 --> 00:38:10,197
GOPHER: If
everything is so perfect,
798
00:38:10,221 --> 00:38:11,866
why are we so miserable?
799
00:38:11,890 --> 00:38:13,234
DOC: We're all suffering
800
00:38:13,258 --> 00:38:16,025
from acute Skaugstad.
801
00:38:17,662 --> 00:38:19,607
Hi. Hi.
802
00:38:19,631 --> 00:38:21,063
You too?
803
00:38:22,300 --> 00:38:24,645
Mrs. Skaugstad caught me when I
804
00:38:24,669 --> 00:38:27,782
accidentally put a
cherry into a martini.
805
00:38:27,806 --> 00:38:30,250
I suggested that
she try my new drink.
806
00:38:30,274 --> 00:38:32,019
GOPHER: And?
807
00:38:32,043 --> 00:38:35,089
She suggested
that I try a new job.
808
00:38:35,113 --> 00:38:37,458
Yeah, we think
we've got problems.
809
00:38:37,482 --> 00:38:41,362
Let's just be thankful we're
not in Captain Stubing's shoes.
810
00:38:41,386 --> 00:38:44,398
DOC: This is the longest
cruise I've ever been on.
811
00:38:44,422 --> 00:38:46,834
GOPHER: And we're
not gonna get any time off
812
00:38:46,858 --> 00:38:48,168
for good behavior.
813
00:38:48,192 --> 00:38:50,037
Ha! Time off?
814
00:38:50,061 --> 00:38:53,073
I'm working double shifts
to keep that lady happy.
815
00:38:53,097 --> 00:38:55,643
Hey, I'm spending so much
time trying to please her
816
00:38:55,667 --> 00:38:57,779
that I'm letting the
other passengers down.
817
00:38:57,803 --> 00:38:59,546
DOC: She has the uncanny ability
818
00:38:59,570 --> 00:39:01,449
to make you feel you don't
know what you're doing.
819
00:39:01,473 --> 00:39:04,986
I am a good doctor. Aren't I?
820
00:39:05,010 --> 00:39:06,943
I'd come to you for aspirin.
821
00:39:07,779 --> 00:39:10,190
You're a great doctor.
822
00:39:10,214 --> 00:39:11,859
I just got the answer.
823
00:39:11,883 --> 00:39:12,893
What?
824
00:39:12,917 --> 00:39:14,795
We make Mrs.
Skaugstad the captain.
825
00:39:14,819 --> 00:39:17,339
Then she can hire
the crew she wants.
826
00:39:17,555 --> 00:39:20,635
( heroic theme playing )
827
00:39:20,659 --> 00:39:24,972
Well, as I see it, we
got a couple of choices.
828
00:39:24,996 --> 00:39:27,241
We can get a drink and
go sit out on the deck...
829
00:39:27,265 --> 00:39:29,844
Or? We can get two drinks.
830
00:39:29,868 --> 00:39:31,801
Right. Good plan.
831
00:39:37,208 --> 00:39:38,585
STACY: Forget
something, Merrill?
832
00:39:38,609 --> 00:39:41,722
Yes. Something I've been
meaning to do for a week.
833
00:39:41,746 --> 00:39:43,012
You come too.
834
00:39:43,681 --> 00:39:44,826
( fake laughs )
835
00:39:44,850 --> 00:39:47,783
( heroic theme continues )
836
00:39:53,424 --> 00:39:54,902
STACY: What do
you think you're doing?
837
00:39:54,926 --> 00:39:56,303
STUBING: Quiet.
838
00:39:56,327 --> 00:39:58,405
STACY: Who do you think you are?
839
00:39:58,429 --> 00:40:00,041
The captain.
840
00:40:00,065 --> 00:40:01,408
I haven't been acting like it,
841
00:40:01,432 --> 00:40:03,710
but I am the
captain of this ship,
842
00:40:03,734 --> 00:40:05,847
and I am going to
give you an order.
843
00:40:05,871 --> 00:40:08,715
( laughs )
844
00:40:08,739 --> 00:40:10,251
A what?
845
00:40:10,275 --> 00:40:11,853
An order.
846
00:40:11,877 --> 00:40:14,421
Go to your room.
847
00:40:14,445 --> 00:40:16,490
You're going down the
chute for that, Merrill.
848
00:40:16,514 --> 00:40:18,759
Fine, fine.
849
00:40:18,783 --> 00:40:21,395
Now, look, I allowed you
to make my life miserable,
850
00:40:21,419 --> 00:40:24,598
but I will not allow you
to disrupt this cruise
851
00:40:24,622 --> 00:40:26,800
for the passengers,
who, I should point out,
852
00:40:26,824 --> 00:40:28,102
paid to be on this ship.
853
00:40:28,126 --> 00:40:29,537
Who do you think
you're talking...?
854
00:40:29,561 --> 00:40:30,938
I am not finished.
855
00:40:30,962 --> 00:40:33,507
And last, but by no means least,
856
00:40:33,531 --> 00:40:37,678
you will not treat my crew like
a bunch of incompetent boobs.
857
00:40:37,702 --> 00:40:39,201
I have the best crew afloat.
858
00:40:40,838 --> 00:40:44,384
You cannot talk to me like this.
859
00:40:44,408 --> 00:40:46,254
Stacy, shut up.
860
00:40:46,278 --> 00:40:48,177
And go to your room.
861
00:40:50,148 --> 00:40:51,358
( huffs )
862
00:40:51,382 --> 00:40:52,382
Aubrey.
863
00:40:53,952 --> 00:41:00,501
Mr. Skaugstad, no matter
what you say, I will not apologize.
864
00:41:00,525 --> 00:41:04,226
So whatever you have to
say to me, sir, say it now.
865
00:41:06,430 --> 00:41:07,697
( clears throat )
866
00:41:09,500 --> 00:41:10,644
Go to your room.
867
00:41:10,668 --> 00:41:13,903
( quiet triumphant
theme playing )
868
00:41:21,779 --> 00:41:23,212
You're a great captain.
869
00:41:28,854 --> 00:41:31,787
( triumphant theme swells )
870
00:41:34,292 --> 00:41:35,991
( sneezes )
871
00:41:41,632 --> 00:41:43,565
( light-hearted theme playing )
872
00:41:46,070 --> 00:41:49,549
Don't you people
have anything to do?
873
00:41:49,573 --> 00:41:50,852
Mr. Smith. Sir?
874
00:41:50,876 --> 00:41:53,609
Gopher, get a haircut.
875
00:41:58,449 --> 00:41:59,749
( all chuckle )
876
00:42:02,920 --> 00:42:04,854
( upbeat theme playing )
877
00:42:13,598 --> 00:42:14,808
Oh, wow.
878
00:42:14,832 --> 00:42:16,944
I hate to say this, but
I guess it's goodbye.
879
00:42:16,968 --> 00:42:18,379
Oh, it's not goodbye.
880
00:42:18,403 --> 00:42:22,115
It's just, um, hasta la vista.
881
00:42:22,139 --> 00:42:23,417
We'll see each other again.
882
00:42:23,441 --> 00:42:25,919
I hope so. You
know, without you,
883
00:42:25,943 --> 00:42:27,522
this cruise would
have been a disaster.
884
00:42:27,546 --> 00:42:30,925
Oh, at first I thought you
wouldn't approve of me.
885
00:42:30,949 --> 00:42:33,227
Well, you know,
the way I carry on.
886
00:42:33,251 --> 00:42:36,697
But I say live, taste life,
887
00:42:36,721 --> 00:42:38,961
and don't let anybody
tell you what to do.
888
00:42:40,324 --> 00:42:41,569
You're one of a kind.
889
00:42:41,593 --> 00:42:42,903
Ain't I just.
890
00:42:42,927 --> 00:42:44,572
( both laugh )
891
00:42:44,596 --> 00:42:46,362
Mommy, Mommy!
892
00:42:47,965 --> 00:42:49,943
Oh, my babies.
893
00:42:49,967 --> 00:42:52,546
Oh, I'm so glad to see you.
894
00:42:52,570 --> 00:42:54,048
How are you? Ohhhh!
895
00:42:54,072 --> 00:42:56,552
Here, you take these
for Mommy, okay?
896
00:43:01,779 --> 00:43:03,424
Ah, we did it.
897
00:43:03,448 --> 00:43:05,359
Yes, we got through this cruise.
898
00:43:05,383 --> 00:43:07,895
Boy, talk about
survivors of the Titanic.
899
00:43:07,919 --> 00:43:09,730
We actually lived
through Hurricane Stacy.
900
00:43:09,754 --> 00:43:10,864
Mm. Ha.
901
00:43:10,888 --> 00:43:12,566
Julie. Julie, thank
you for everything.
902
00:43:12,590 --> 00:43:14,234
We had a wonderful time.
903
00:43:14,258 --> 00:43:16,737
Well, you certainly captured
the floating vote, congressman.
904
00:43:16,761 --> 00:43:18,239
( laughs )
905
00:43:18,263 --> 00:43:19,974
I see my prescription worked.
906
00:43:19,998 --> 00:43:22,042
Yes. Next picture you see me in
907
00:43:22,066 --> 00:43:23,610
is gonna be a wedding picture.
908
00:43:23,634 --> 00:43:25,779
Congratulations.
909
00:43:25,803 --> 00:43:26,814
Thank you.
910
00:43:26,838 --> 00:43:28,315
Bye. Bye-bye.
911
00:43:28,339 --> 00:43:29,717
Thank you.
912
00:43:29,741 --> 00:43:32,820
Excuse me, miss, you need
some help with your bags?
913
00:43:32,844 --> 00:43:36,724
Oh, no, thank you.
I... Ronald. Oh...!
914
00:43:36,748 --> 00:43:38,681
( both laughing )
915
00:43:45,256 --> 00:43:48,135
Whee! I almost thought
I forgot how to do that.
916
00:43:48,159 --> 00:43:50,438
Take my word, you didn't forget.
917
00:43:50,462 --> 00:43:53,162
One more time.
918
00:43:57,968 --> 00:44:00,013
For you, my lovely young lady.
919
00:44:00,037 --> 00:44:01,982
Oh, Ronald, they're beautiful.
920
00:44:02,006 --> 00:44:03,117
Thank you.
921
00:44:03,141 --> 00:44:04,552
Yeah, if you put
'em in some water,
922
00:44:04,576 --> 00:44:07,821
maybe you can use 'em as
part of your bridal bouquet.
923
00:44:07,845 --> 00:44:09,623
What? That's right.
924
00:44:09,647 --> 00:44:11,592
Maybe I've been out
here in the sun too long,
925
00:44:11,616 --> 00:44:15,962
but Ginny O'Brien, I am
ready to give marriage a try.
926
00:44:15,986 --> 00:44:18,232
Well, Ronald... Now,
you just name the place
927
00:44:18,256 --> 00:44:22,970
and time you wanna
become Mrs. Ronald Baker.
928
00:44:22,994 --> 00:44:25,472
Well, I have... Now,
I cannot guarantee
929
00:44:25,496 --> 00:44:27,474
you the moon, but
I can guarantee you
930
00:44:27,498 --> 00:44:29,243
a lifetime warranty
against bugs.
931
00:44:29,267 --> 00:44:31,879
Oh, listen, Ronald, I've been
doing a lot of thinking too,
932
00:44:31,903 --> 00:44:33,380
and I think your way is best.
933
00:44:33,404 --> 00:44:36,017
Why don't we just keep
living together, okay?
934
00:44:36,041 --> 00:44:37,284
You mean that?
935
00:44:37,308 --> 00:44:38,953
Absolutely.
936
00:44:38,977 --> 00:44:44,324
Oh, wow! Wow! Thank
you, big fella. Thank...
937
00:44:44,348 --> 00:44:46,059
What...? What made
you change your mind?
938
00:44:46,083 --> 00:44:49,385
Well, I guess it was the
last two nights on the cruise.
939
00:44:51,322 --> 00:44:52,900
( clears throat )
940
00:44:52,924 --> 00:44:55,792
The last two nights
on the cruise?
941
00:44:57,662 --> 00:45:01,008
What happened the last
two nights on the cruise?
942
00:45:01,032 --> 00:45:03,377
Oh, nothing, really.
943
00:45:03,401 --> 00:45:06,647
A girl changes her whole
line of thinking and she says,
944
00:45:06,671 --> 00:45:08,549
"Oh, nothing, really"?
945
00:45:08,573 --> 00:45:12,186
Oh, look, it was just, I
found out you were right.
946
00:45:12,210 --> 00:45:14,054
I mean, about freedom.
947
00:45:14,078 --> 00:45:16,556
I found out I like
having my freedom.
948
00:45:16,580 --> 00:45:21,996
And, uh, what kind of
freedom you, uh, talking about?
949
00:45:22,020 --> 00:45:25,065
The same kind of
freedom you talking about.
950
00:45:25,089 --> 00:45:26,867
That kind of freedom?
951
00:45:26,891 --> 00:45:29,670
No-ho-ho-ho-ho way.
952
00:45:29,694 --> 00:45:33,474
Oh, look, maybe it's just
the freedom to not feel guilty
953
00:45:33,498 --> 00:45:35,408
about enjoying a little
freedom, you know?
954
00:45:35,432 --> 00:45:37,911
But I wanna get married!
955
00:45:37,935 --> 00:45:41,649
Oh, Ronald.
956
00:45:41,673 --> 00:45:44,018
Well, look, let's go
home and discuss it.
957
00:45:44,042 --> 00:45:46,453
"Oh, nothing, really."
958
00:45:46,477 --> 00:45:48,055
I don't believe this.
959
00:45:48,079 --> 00:45:50,691
We were cooking. I been
chasing you on boats, planes.
960
00:45:50,715 --> 00:45:53,227
Here I am in my truck, you
know, I'll kill for less than this,
961
00:45:53,251 --> 00:45:55,896
and now you gone crazy,
telling me you want your freedom.
962
00:45:55,920 --> 00:45:57,865
Even the bugs that I kill
don't have their freedom.
963
00:45:57,889 --> 00:45:59,200
Get in the truck there, Mama.
964
00:45:59,224 --> 00:46:01,464
I should sit you right
up there with my man...
965
00:46:05,429 --> 00:46:08,363
( upbeat theme playing )
966
00:46:30,087 --> 00:46:32,199
May I have a word
with your wife?
967
00:46:32,223 --> 00:46:34,100
What do you want?
968
00:46:34,124 --> 00:46:35,724
Please.
969
00:46:49,206 --> 00:46:51,317
Merrill, what do you want?
970
00:46:51,341 --> 00:46:54,388
I want to apologize for
being so harsh to you.
971
00:46:54,412 --> 00:46:55,689
Oh?
972
00:46:55,713 --> 00:46:59,793
Yes, for what happened
on the deck two nights ago,
973
00:46:59,817 --> 00:47:02,617
and for what happened
to our life ten years ago.
974
00:47:04,055 --> 00:47:05,332
Come again?
975
00:47:05,356 --> 00:47:07,834
You're a wonderful woman, Stacy.
976
00:47:07,858 --> 00:47:10,237
You deserved a much
better husband than I was.
977
00:47:10,261 --> 00:47:14,608
I tried, but I wanted
to command ships
978
00:47:14,632 --> 00:47:16,676
more than I wanted
to make you happy.
979
00:47:16,700 --> 00:47:19,646
( poignant theme playing )
980
00:47:19,670 --> 00:47:21,770
And that's it.
981
00:47:27,644 --> 00:47:32,059
Well, life with me couldn't
have been much of a picnic.
982
00:47:32,083 --> 00:47:34,295
No, no, it was my fault.
983
00:47:34,319 --> 00:47:38,966
All you got was a husband at
sea and a name that you hated.
984
00:47:38,990 --> 00:47:40,256
( chuckles )
985
00:47:42,259 --> 00:47:43,326
I'm sorry.
986
00:47:49,834 --> 00:47:55,081
Captain, I couldn't
find one important thing
987
00:47:55,105 --> 00:47:56,271
wrong with your ship.
988
00:47:57,908 --> 00:47:59,720
You are a hell of a commander.
989
00:47:59,744 --> 00:48:01,177
Why, thank you.
990
00:48:03,247 --> 00:48:07,828
I hope that you're
happy with, um...
991
00:48:07,852 --> 00:48:08,829
Aubrey.
992
00:48:08,853 --> 00:48:09,963
Aubrey.
993
00:48:09,987 --> 00:48:11,465
He's a nice man.
994
00:48:11,489 --> 00:48:14,067
He doesn't have your... panache.
995
00:48:14,091 --> 00:48:15,902
( laughs )
996
00:48:15,926 --> 00:48:17,838
But he does stay home.
997
00:48:17,862 --> 00:48:21,442
There is one awful thing.
998
00:48:21,466 --> 00:48:23,276
What's that?
999
00:48:23,300 --> 00:48:25,712
You know how I hated
the name Stacy Stubing?
1000
00:48:25,736 --> 00:48:27,347
Oh-ho-ho-ho. Hm.
1001
00:48:27,371 --> 00:48:31,284
Well, I can't even
pronounce Stacy Skaugskag.
1002
00:48:31,308 --> 00:48:33,187
Skacy Skaugsgag.
1003
00:48:33,211 --> 00:48:35,711
Stacy Skaugstad.
1004
00:48:38,282 --> 00:48:42,229
Lord, I love a
silver-tongued man.
1005
00:48:42,253 --> 00:48:44,152
( chuckles )
1006
00:48:45,723 --> 00:48:46,723
Goodbye, Merrill.
1007
00:48:48,659 --> 00:48:49,769
Goodbye, Stacy.
1008
00:48:49,793 --> 00:48:52,728
( triumphant theme playing )
1009
00:49:04,108 --> 00:49:05,418
MAN ( over PA ):
Captain Stubing.
1010
00:49:05,442 --> 00:49:07,643
Captain Stubing, please
come to the bridge.
1011
00:49:09,947 --> 00:49:12,882
( triumphant theme swells )
1012
00:49:18,723 --> 00:49:20,723
( upbeat theme playing )
66702
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