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1
00:00:02,437 --> 00:00:05,048
I am so sick of the same
stories every night.
2
00:00:05,048 --> 00:00:07,964
I'm taking 'em out
of the rotation.
3
00:00:07,964 --> 00:00:09,313
Wait a minute.
4
00:00:09,313 --> 00:00:11,837
You finished cleaning up
the kitchen, already?
5
00:00:11,837 --> 00:00:12,925
Well, uh...
6
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:15,189
The thing is...
7
00:00:15,189 --> 00:00:18,279
Debra.
8
00:00:18,279 --> 00:00:21,108
They makes sponges
with the scrubby sides.
9
00:00:21,108 --> 00:00:22,544
Remind me, I'll get you some.
10
00:00:25,112 --> 00:00:27,201
I didn't call her up.
She just came over.
11
00:00:27,201 --> 00:00:28,941
That's very mature, Ray.
12
00:00:28,941 --> 00:00:31,988
Having your mother come over
to do your chores for you.
13
00:00:31,988 --> 00:00:35,557
- My mommy loves me.
- 'Yeah.'
14
00:00:35,557 --> 00:00:37,080
She probably thinks
that's women's work
15
00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:38,168
and I'm just lazy.
16
00:00:38,168 --> 00:00:39,343
Now I gotta go in there.
17
00:00:39,343 --> 00:00:41,606
No, no, no.
Let her do it.
18
00:00:41,606 --> 00:00:43,391
Don't take away
her reason to live.
19
00:00:45,697 --> 00:00:47,177
That's supposed to stop me?
20
00:00:51,007 --> 00:00:53,183
Hi, I'm Ray and I live
here in Long Island
21
00:00:53,183 --> 00:00:56,099
with my wife Debra.
22
00:00:56,099 --> 00:00:59,189
My six-year-old daughter
and twin two-year-old boys.
23
00:00:59,189 --> 00:01:00,408
Whee.
24
00:01:00,408 --> 00:01:01,583
My parents...
25
00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:05,152
...live across the street.
26
00:01:05,152 --> 00:01:07,806
That's right.
27
00:01:07,806 --> 00:01:10,026
And my brother lives with 'em.
28
00:01:10,026 --> 00:01:12,420
Now, not every family
would defy gravity for you
29
00:01:12,420 --> 00:01:14,117
but mine would because...
30
00:01:14,117 --> 00:01:16,337
Everybody loves Raymond.
31
00:01:16,337 --> 00:01:17,947
Hey, you didn't...
32
00:01:21,603 --> 00:01:26,129
You know, every night
for five years... ugh...
33
00:01:26,129 --> 00:01:27,739
"Little Engine that Could"
34
00:01:27,739 --> 00:01:29,828
"Goodnight Moon,"
"Cat in the Hat."
35
00:01:29,828 --> 00:01:32,266
I am sick of them.
36
00:01:32,266 --> 00:01:34,398
They're not for you.
37
00:01:34,398 --> 00:01:36,574
Right?
38
00:01:36,574 --> 00:01:38,054
What do you want
to read the kids
39
00:01:38,054 --> 00:01:39,490
Jackie Collins?
40
00:01:40,839 --> 00:01:43,059
No, I was just thinking,
you know
41
00:01:43,059 --> 00:01:44,408
maybe I could do that.
42
00:01:44,408 --> 00:01:46,454
Maybe I could write
a children's book.
43
00:01:46,454 --> 00:01:48,499
- Yeah?
- Yeah, you think?
44
00:01:49,326 --> 00:01:51,285
Yeah, it's great
45
00:01:51,285 --> 00:01:54,984
if you're looking
for somethin' to do.
46
00:01:54,984 --> 00:01:58,030
I have things to do, Ray.
47
00:01:58,030 --> 00:01:59,293
Ow!
48
00:02:01,208 --> 00:02:04,559
Just looking for something,
you know, creative.
49
00:02:04,559 --> 00:02:05,647
I've got some ideas.
50
00:02:05,647 --> 00:02:06,996
I could use my experiences.
51
00:02:06,996 --> 00:02:09,694
I know what kids like.
52
00:02:09,694 --> 00:02:12,915
Debra, sweetheart,
settle a bet.
53
00:02:12,915 --> 00:02:17,006
Is this container microwavable?
54
00:02:17,006 --> 00:02:18,921
No, Frank.
55
00:02:18,921 --> 00:02:21,315
'I told you
that wasn't the sauce.'
56
00:02:21,315 --> 00:02:23,230
'You're eating melted plastic.'
57
00:02:26,102 --> 00:02:31,107
Wow! Everything is better
with cheese on it.
58
00:02:31,107 --> 00:02:32,152
Alright,
so what do you think
59
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:33,414
about this book idea?
60
00:02:33,414 --> 00:02:35,546
Yeah, it's a great idea.
61
00:02:35,546 --> 00:02:36,939
If you need any help,
let me know.
62
00:02:36,939 --> 00:02:38,723
Yeah, that's just what
I was thinking.
63
00:02:38,723 --> 00:02:40,508
- What?
- You could help me.
64
00:02:40,508 --> 00:02:41,857
We could write it together.
65
00:02:41,857 --> 00:02:43,075
- Oh, wait a minute.
- What? Come on.
66
00:02:43,075 --> 00:02:44,947
You just said,
"If you need any help.."
67
00:02:44,947 --> 00:02:46,383
You didn't let me finish
68
00:02:46,383 --> 00:02:50,213
by "help," I meant that
when you're done
69
00:02:50,213 --> 00:02:54,217
I would read it
and tell you it's very good.
70
00:02:54,217 --> 00:02:55,392
Oh, come on. Come on.
71
00:02:55,392 --> 00:02:56,567
I want to do this with you.
72
00:02:56,567 --> 00:02:57,873
Wouldn't this be
so much fun
73
00:02:57,873 --> 00:02:59,614
to spend time
together like this?
74
00:02:59,614 --> 00:03:00,702
No.
75
00:03:02,007 --> 00:03:03,922
Writing is what I do
for a living.
76
00:03:03,922 --> 00:03:05,315
I don't want to spend
my free time writing.
77
00:03:05,315 --> 00:03:07,012
But you love writing.
78
00:03:07,012 --> 00:03:08,318
No.
79
00:03:09,667 --> 00:03:12,061
It's-it's torture.
It's excruciating.
80
00:03:12,061 --> 00:03:14,368
Yeah, but lookit,
I already have an idea.
81
00:03:14,368 --> 00:03:16,979
I just need you to help me
flesh it out, you know?
82
00:03:16,979 --> 00:03:19,286
Because you are such
a good writer, Ray.
83
00:03:19,286 --> 00:03:20,852
I respect your talent
so much.
84
00:03:20,852 --> 00:03:22,245
Oh, don't even
start with that
85
00:03:22,245 --> 00:03:24,465
unless you're willing
to back it up with sex.
86
00:03:26,293 --> 00:03:30,297
Don't talk about sex.
We're here.
87
00:03:30,297 --> 00:03:33,256
Ma, Debra's thinking
of writing a book.
88
00:03:33,256 --> 00:03:35,737
- A sex book?
- No.
89
00:03:35,737 --> 00:03:37,652
No, no, no, no.
A children's book.
90
00:03:37,652 --> 00:03:39,610
I was just thinking
of trying it.
91
00:03:39,610 --> 00:03:42,961
Oh, I have a wonderful
story for you, Debra.
92
00:03:42,961 --> 00:03:45,790
When Robert was ten,
he was in little league.
93
00:03:45,790 --> 00:03:47,227
And before one of his games
94
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,011
I asked if he had to go
to the bathroom.
95
00:03:49,011 --> 00:03:50,142
And he said no.
96
00:03:50,142 --> 00:03:52,319
So it's his turn
with the bat
97
00:03:52,319 --> 00:03:55,452
and, sure enough,
he wets his pants.
98
00:03:59,195 --> 00:04:03,939
Aw, isn't that charming?
99
00:04:03,939 --> 00:04:07,203
Hey.
100
00:04:07,203 --> 00:04:10,467
Is this about me?
101
00:04:10,467 --> 00:04:12,121
Your mother
was just telling the story
102
00:04:12,121 --> 00:04:14,123
about how you
wet your pants at home plate.
103
00:04:14,123 --> 00:04:16,038
Ma!
104
00:04:16,038 --> 00:04:17,866
It's for Debra's
children's book.
105
00:04:17,866 --> 00:04:19,084
It's gonna be in a book?
106
00:04:19,084 --> 00:04:20,608
'Oh, no, Marie.'
107
00:04:20,608 --> 00:04:22,436
Marie, please, I don't think
I'm gonna use the story.
108
00:04:22,436 --> 00:04:24,699
That's my story.
You can't use it.
109
00:04:24,699 --> 00:04:26,004
I have the rights
to that story.
110
00:04:26,004 --> 00:04:27,963
Robert, I'm not using the story.
111
00:04:27,963 --> 00:04:30,792
Why not?
It's an important story.
112
00:04:30,792 --> 00:04:34,448
It has a moral about how kids
shouldn't tease other kids
113
00:04:34,448 --> 00:04:36,406
and how you should
listen to your mother
114
00:04:36,406 --> 00:04:37,712
and not hold it.
115
00:04:40,062 --> 00:04:41,759
I tell you what.
Whatever you do
116
00:04:41,759 --> 00:04:43,152
I'll do the pictures for it.
117
00:04:43,152 --> 00:04:44,196
Pictures?
118
00:04:44,196 --> 00:04:45,676
I've dabbled in the visual arts.
119
00:04:45,676 --> 00:04:47,896
I've painted some bullfighters
120
00:04:48,984 --> 00:04:50,290
some nudes.
121
00:04:52,161 --> 00:04:55,338
You painted naked ladies
off a deck of dirty cards.
122
00:04:56,252 --> 00:04:57,775
I had to.
123
00:04:57,775 --> 00:04:59,951
After Robert was born,
you stopped posing for me.
124
00:04:59,951 --> 00:05:02,127
Frank!
125
00:05:02,127 --> 00:05:03,172
What?
126
00:05:04,739 --> 00:05:08,743
Okay, I have
to gouge out my eyes.
127
00:05:08,743 --> 00:05:12,312
You can't gouge out
your mind's eye.
128
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:14,575
So do you want me
to bring over my portfolio?
129
00:05:14,575 --> 00:05:17,360
I'm gonna be concentrating
on the story.
130
00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:19,797
Hey, you know, Debra,
I got a great story for you.
131
00:05:19,797 --> 00:05:23,192
It's about a tall crime fighter.
132
00:05:23,192 --> 00:05:25,716
Does he live with his parents?
133
00:05:25,716 --> 00:05:27,109
Could.
134
00:05:27,109 --> 00:05:29,546
No, no, no. I have another story
for you, dear.
135
00:05:29,546 --> 00:05:31,809
We were on a long car ride
136
00:05:31,809 --> 00:05:34,029
and before we leave,
I warn Robert--
137
00:05:34,029 --> 00:05:36,379
Ma!
138
00:05:36,379 --> 00:05:38,947
Look, mom, dad,
everybody, Debra...
139
00:05:38,947 --> 00:05:40,862
She's already got
somebody who's gonna help her.
140
00:05:40,862 --> 00:05:42,472
- Me.
- Really?
141
00:05:42,472 --> 00:05:45,040
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It'll be fun, it'll be fun.
142
00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:46,737
Okay, so thanks anyway.
143
00:05:46,737 --> 00:05:49,218
Thank you.
144
00:05:49,218 --> 00:05:51,612
Listen, Raymond, if you're gonna
use the baseball story
145
00:05:51,612 --> 00:05:52,961
at least put in
that I was the one
146
00:05:52,961 --> 00:05:54,528
who scored the winning run.
147
00:05:54,528 --> 00:05:56,356
Nobody wanted to tag you.
148
00:06:03,537 --> 00:06:06,801
Ray, I am so excited.
Come on, hurry up.
149
00:06:06,801 --> 00:06:08,237
We got to fire up the computer.
150
00:06:08,237 --> 00:06:11,371
Yeah, don't hurt yourself.
151
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,763
Okay, it's--
152
00:06:12,763 --> 00:06:14,112
You're in my chair.
153
00:06:14,112 --> 00:06:15,549
Oh, sorry.
154
00:06:15,549 --> 00:06:18,813
Here.
You sit, and... here.
155
00:06:18,813 --> 00:06:22,469
This. Okay.
156
00:06:22,469 --> 00:06:25,385
This is so great, honey.
157
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:26,951
Alright.
158
00:06:29,258 --> 00:06:30,346
What are you doing?
159
00:06:30,346 --> 00:06:31,869
Getting ready. Getting ready.
160
00:06:31,869 --> 00:06:34,742
I play a little
"Galactic Defender" first.
161
00:06:34,742 --> 00:06:35,873
What about the story?
162
00:06:35,873 --> 00:06:37,309
In a minute. In a minute.
163
00:06:37,309 --> 00:06:40,356
I just gotta save
the Planet Krimulac.
164
00:06:46,754 --> 00:06:47,972
Nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh.
165
00:06:47,972 --> 00:06:49,060
Are you almost ready?
166
00:06:49,060 --> 00:06:50,235
Because I have all these ideas.
167
00:06:50,235 --> 00:06:52,237
One second. One second.
One second.
168
00:06:52,237 --> 00:06:55,327
Gotcha,
you ugly green bastard.
169
00:06:55,327 --> 00:07:00,158
Okay, good.
Now here's my idea.
170
00:07:00,158 --> 00:07:03,161
- I was thinking--
- Hold it. Hold it.
171
00:07:03,161 --> 00:07:04,728
What is that?
172
00:07:04,728 --> 00:07:06,469
I like to squeeze this 12 times.
173
00:07:06,469 --> 00:07:08,123
Why?
174
00:07:08,123 --> 00:07:14,303
You gotta respect the process.
Gets the juices going.
175
00:07:14,303 --> 00:07:15,522
Okay, you got
enough juice there?
176
00:07:15,522 --> 00:07:17,654
- 'Yeah.'
- Okay.
177
00:07:17,654 --> 00:07:20,918
So here's what
I was thinking.
178
00:07:20,918 --> 00:07:23,486
Do you remember
that time
179
00:07:23,486 --> 00:07:26,837
when Ally wanted
to run away from home
180
00:07:26,837 --> 00:07:28,404
and we let her
pack her suitcase
181
00:07:28,404 --> 00:07:29,971
with all her toys
and her clothes?
182
00:07:29,971 --> 00:07:32,277
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah?
183
00:07:32,277 --> 00:07:34,671
Then she started
talking about each thing
184
00:07:34,671 --> 00:07:36,499
and where she got it,
who gave it to her.
185
00:07:36,499 --> 00:07:38,240
Yes, and by the time
she was done packing
186
00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:40,155
she'd forgotten that she wanted
to run away from home.
187
00:07:40,155 --> 00:07:43,767
Right, right, because of all
the good memories in the stuff.
188
00:07:43,767 --> 00:07:45,595
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
189
00:07:45,595 --> 00:07:47,162
Yeah, I like that idea.
I really do.
190
00:07:47,162 --> 00:07:49,947
- Oh, good!
- Okay.
191
00:07:49,947 --> 00:07:51,079
- Where are you going?
- Bathroom.
192
00:07:52,297 --> 00:07:53,473
We just got started.
193
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:54,778
I know, but when
a good idea hits
194
00:07:54,778 --> 00:07:56,040
I have to go to the bathroom.
195
00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:57,520
Oh, no, come on.
Ray, come on.
196
00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:58,695
We're on a roll here.
197
00:07:58,695 --> 00:08:00,392
Don't break the momentum.
Please?
198
00:08:00,392 --> 00:08:03,091
Alright.
199
00:08:03,091 --> 00:08:04,309
You know,
it's not good to hold it.
200
00:08:04,309 --> 00:08:06,311
'Yeah.'
201
00:08:06,311 --> 00:08:07,356
Okay.
202
00:08:08,575 --> 00:08:10,664
So...
203
00:08:10,664 --> 00:08:12,013
I was thinking
204
00:08:12,013 --> 00:08:13,971
we make the main
character a bunny.
205
00:08:13,971 --> 00:08:16,408
Oh, a bunny?
206
00:08:16,408 --> 00:08:18,323
Why, what's wrong
with a bunny?
207
00:08:18,323 --> 00:08:21,413
Hasn't the bunny thing
been done, really?
208
00:08:21,413 --> 00:08:23,111
Well, what did you
have in mind?
209
00:08:23,111 --> 00:08:25,069
Nothing.
210
00:08:25,069 --> 00:08:26,767
No, no. Go ahead, tell me.
211
00:08:26,767 --> 00:08:29,247
If you got something better,
I want to know.
212
00:08:29,247 --> 00:08:31,467
Okay.
213
00:08:31,467 --> 00:08:34,731
How about a... dinosaur?
214
00:08:34,731 --> 00:08:36,124
Ooh, a dinosaur?
215
00:08:37,125 --> 00:08:38,692
What?
216
00:08:38,692 --> 00:08:41,303
Eh, I don't know.
I just think that's a little...
217
00:08:41,303 --> 00:08:42,391
...trendy.
218
00:08:44,175 --> 00:08:45,568
Well, bunny's hack.
219
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:49,572
Hack? You're calling me a hack?
220
00:08:49,572 --> 00:08:52,270
I'm not calling you a hack.
Your bunny's a hack.
221
00:08:52,270 --> 00:08:54,577
No, no, no,
the bunny is classic, Ray.
222
00:08:54,577 --> 00:08:56,971
It's the dinosaur that has been
done to death.
223
00:08:56,971 --> 00:08:59,713
Look, look, it doesn't have
to be the dinosaur.
224
00:08:59,713 --> 00:09:02,019
I just hate the bunny.
225
00:09:02,019 --> 00:09:03,673
Well, you got nothing, sweetie
226
00:09:03,673 --> 00:09:06,023
so it's gonna be a bunny, okay?
227
00:09:06,023 --> 00:09:08,591
Well, take my name off it.
228
00:09:08,591 --> 00:09:10,158
Off of what?
We haven't even started yet!
229
00:09:10,158 --> 00:09:11,507
We spent the whole time
230
00:09:11,507 --> 00:09:13,248
going through
your satanic rituals.
231
00:09:13,248 --> 00:09:14,728
Hey, that's how I work.
232
00:09:14,728 --> 00:09:17,339
Oh, well, let me know when
you're goofing off, okay?
233
00:09:17,339 --> 00:09:19,950
Well, my "goofing off"
supports this household.
234
00:09:19,950 --> 00:09:23,693
Oh, and what I do
doesn't support the household.
235
00:09:23,693 --> 00:09:25,608
I'm just saying
I get paid for what I do.
236
00:09:25,608 --> 00:09:26,783
And I'm just dead weight?
237
00:09:26,783 --> 00:09:28,089
No, but you asked me to help
238
00:09:28,089 --> 00:09:29,569
and this is how I help.
239
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,135
Well, you know what, Ray?
I don't want your help.
240
00:09:31,135 --> 00:09:33,137
Good, good, good, good.
241
00:09:33,137 --> 00:09:34,486
'Cause I didn't wanna help
in the first place.
242
00:09:34,486 --> 00:09:37,838
Okay, good.
So everybody's happy.
243
00:09:37,838 --> 00:09:38,969
Good!
244
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:57,466
- Hi.
- Hi.
245
00:09:59,686 --> 00:10:01,122
Sorry I'm late.
246
00:10:01,122 --> 00:10:02,384
Yeah.
247
00:10:10,522 --> 00:10:12,786
Oh, you're workin'
on your thing?
248
00:10:12,786 --> 00:10:16,485
Yes, yes, yes.
249
00:10:16,485 --> 00:10:19,357
I was wonderin'
are we still fighting?
250
00:10:21,490 --> 00:10:22,970
What? No, no, no.
251
00:10:23,753 --> 00:10:26,582
Good. Good.
252
00:10:26,582 --> 00:10:28,453
I almost bought flowers.
253
00:10:58,483 --> 00:10:59,659
Whoo!
254
00:11:05,273 --> 00:11:09,320
So how was your day?
255
00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:10,321
I can't do this.
256
00:11:11,409 --> 00:11:13,194
It was such stupid idea
257
00:11:13,194 --> 00:11:15,500
me trying to write a book.
258
00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:18,329
Look, it just takes time,
that's all.
259
00:11:18,329 --> 00:11:20,027
Come on. Come on.
260
00:11:20,027 --> 00:11:21,289
Look, there must be something
good in here someplace--
261
00:11:21,289 --> 00:11:24,161
No, no! Give...
Not one word!
262
00:11:24,161 --> 00:11:27,730
Ugh! I just hate
this freakin' bunny!
263
00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:29,776
Come on,
you don't hate the bunny.
264
00:11:29,776 --> 00:11:30,907
The bunny's good.
265
00:11:30,907 --> 00:11:32,779
Hate him, Ray.
Hate him.
266
00:11:32,779 --> 00:11:34,215
I would want to run away, too
267
00:11:34,215 --> 00:11:37,914
if I was stuck in
a piece of crap like...
268
00:11:37,914 --> 00:11:39,089
...that!
269
00:11:43,311 --> 00:11:44,529
I don't know
how you do it.
270
00:11:44,529 --> 00:11:46,401
I don't know how you do it.
271
00:11:46,401 --> 00:11:48,751
Every day, writing?
272
00:11:48,751 --> 00:11:50,187
It's hell.
It's hell.
273
00:11:51,406 --> 00:11:52,712
Well...
274
00:11:53,930 --> 00:11:55,366
...yeah.
275
00:11:58,152 --> 00:12:00,807
I try not
to bring it home.
276
00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:03,113
Guess you've gotten
a little peek there.
277
00:12:03,113 --> 00:12:05,681
I mean, it's not all
hangin' out at the games
278
00:12:05,681 --> 00:12:07,596
with the guys
and the hot dogs
279
00:12:07,596 --> 00:12:09,598
and the
make-your-own sundaes.
280
00:12:12,688 --> 00:12:15,082
Well...
281
00:12:15,082 --> 00:12:16,779
I suck. Goodnight.
282
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,785
You know,
it's not easy for anybody.
283
00:12:22,785 --> 00:12:24,744
Come on.
I mean, in the beginning...
284
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:27,224
I remember when I was
just a beat writer
285
00:12:27,224 --> 00:12:30,488
covering the local
high school games.
286
00:12:30,488 --> 00:12:31,881
I was obviously pretty talented
287
00:12:31,881 --> 00:12:35,667
but I was just
a diamond in the rough, really.
288
00:12:43,153 --> 00:12:45,460
We'll pick up on this tomorrow, alright?
289
00:12:47,854 --> 00:12:49,594
Remind me where I was.
290
00:13:31,898 --> 00:13:33,769
Oh, still the man.
291
00:13:38,687 --> 00:13:39,949
Morning, everybody.
292
00:13:39,949 --> 00:13:41,690
- 'Hey.'
- Good morning.
293
00:13:41,690 --> 00:13:42,734
Hey.
294
00:13:42,734 --> 00:13:43,866
What were you doing up so late?
295
00:13:43,866 --> 00:13:46,434
I looked at the clock.
It was 4:30.
296
00:13:46,434 --> 00:13:47,870
Ta-da!
297
00:13:47,870 --> 00:13:50,090
What's this?
298
00:13:50,090 --> 00:13:52,135
Oh, my gosh.
This is the story.
299
00:13:56,444 --> 00:13:57,924
You did the whole thing.
300
00:13:57,924 --> 00:13:59,273
I felt bad
'cause you got stuck
301
00:13:59,273 --> 00:14:00,883
so I rearranged
a couple of things.
302
00:14:00,883 --> 00:14:03,843
I ironed out some
of the rough spots, that's all.
303
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:06,889
Look, look.
I went with the bunny.
304
00:14:06,889 --> 00:14:08,282
You were right.
The bunny's good.
305
00:14:08,282 --> 00:14:10,893
The bunny's classic.
Kids love the bunny.
306
00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:12,416
Yeah.
307
00:14:12,416 --> 00:14:14,549
Okay. Thanks.
308
00:14:15,376 --> 00:14:17,334
You're welcome.
309
00:14:17,334 --> 00:14:20,903
Alright.
I'm gonna grab some sleep.
310
00:14:20,903 --> 00:14:22,165
Enjoy.
311
00:14:26,126 --> 00:14:27,257
Winky.
312
00:14:28,432 --> 00:14:31,479
Oh, he named
the bunny Winky.
313
00:14:35,700 --> 00:14:38,051
Hey, hey.
Guess who I talked to today.
314
00:14:38,051 --> 00:14:39,704
Gerry Ashley.
315
00:14:39,704 --> 00:14:42,620
Who's that?
That's my publisher friend.
316
00:14:42,620 --> 00:14:44,405
He's gonna look
at the book tomorrow.
317
00:14:44,405 --> 00:14:46,407
Oh, honey,
it's not quite done yet.
318
00:14:46,407 --> 00:14:49,627
What are ya talkin' about?
I finished it.
319
00:14:49,627 --> 00:14:51,368
Yeah, well, I mean,
you know
320
00:14:51,368 --> 00:14:53,370
your version had
some good stuff in it
321
00:14:53,370 --> 00:14:58,941
but it, uh, it wasn't
quite there yet, you know?
322
00:14:58,941 --> 00:15:01,770
- You're rewriting me?
- 'No.'
323
00:15:01,770 --> 00:15:03,032
'No.'
324
00:15:03,032 --> 00:15:05,469
It was just minor, you know?
325
00:15:05,469 --> 00:15:06,906
Minor tweaks.
326
00:15:09,343 --> 00:15:10,822
You made it rhyme.
327
00:15:10,822 --> 00:15:13,129
Yeah. Yeah.
Kids love rhymes.
328
00:15:13,129 --> 00:15:15,436
And it came
really easy to me.
329
00:15:15,436 --> 00:15:17,873
"The bunny hopped here.
The bunny hopped there.
330
00:15:17,873 --> 00:15:20,702
The bunny hop-hopped
to the top of the square."
331
00:15:23,139 --> 00:15:24,706
What?
332
00:15:25,837 --> 00:15:27,927
Isn't that a little cutesy?
333
00:15:28,971 --> 00:15:30,538
Cutesy?
334
00:15:30,538 --> 00:15:33,628
Ah, you're the one that
named your bunny "Winky."
335
00:15:35,717 --> 00:15:36,979
Hey, I didn't even
want the bunny.
336
00:15:36,979 --> 00:15:39,286
I went with the bunny
for you, okay?
337
00:15:39,286 --> 00:15:40,896
And as long as I'm stuck
with a bunny
338
00:15:40,896 --> 00:15:43,246
Winky's a perfect name
for a bunny.
339
00:15:43,246 --> 00:15:45,509
It's not better than Clive.
340
00:15:45,509 --> 00:15:46,771
Clive?
341
00:15:47,816 --> 00:15:48,948
Clive?
342
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:52,168
What, are you from piccadilly?
343
00:15:52,168 --> 00:15:54,344
'Ello. I'm Clive.
344
00:15:54,344 --> 00:15:56,042
I'm 'appy to be alive.
345
00:15:59,001 --> 00:16:01,003
First of all, that is
the worst British accent
346
00:16:01,003 --> 00:16:02,396
I have ever heard, alright?
347
00:16:02,396 --> 00:16:05,486
Second of all,
stay away from my story.
348
00:16:05,486 --> 00:16:08,054
I saved your story.
You had nothin'.
349
00:16:08,054 --> 00:16:09,185
I made it into something.
350
00:16:09,185 --> 00:16:11,231
- Who asked you?
- You did!
351
00:16:11,231 --> 00:16:14,103
No, I asked you
to do it with me
352
00:16:14,103 --> 00:16:16,366
not for you to do it.
353
00:16:16,366 --> 00:16:18,107
Well, I'll tell you
what I'm not doin'.
354
00:16:18,107 --> 00:16:21,893
I'm not showing
Clive to Gerry Ashley.
355
00:16:21,893 --> 00:16:24,374
Okay, fine just forget about
your big-shot publisher friend.
356
00:16:24,374 --> 00:16:26,594
Let's ask Ally
which one she likes best.
357
00:16:26,594 --> 00:16:28,030
Fine! Wake her up!
358
00:16:28,030 --> 00:16:30,598
No! We're not gonna
wake her up.
359
00:16:30,598 --> 00:16:32,904
We'll read it to her
over the next couple of days.
360
00:16:32,904 --> 00:16:35,342
I'll read her Clive,
and you can read her Winky.
361
00:16:35,342 --> 00:16:36,865
Yeah, good. You're on!
362
00:16:36,865 --> 00:16:38,736
- Huh? You man enough?
- Yes, I'm man enough.
363
00:16:38,736 --> 00:16:41,174
Good, good.
'Cause Clive's goin' down!
364
00:16:47,093 --> 00:16:50,357
And Winky was glad
to be home
365
00:16:50,357 --> 00:16:57,320
even though she had
never... really... left.
366
00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:58,582
The end.
367
00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:08,897
so how do you like that story?
368
00:17:08,897 --> 00:17:10,507
It was good.
369
00:17:10,507 --> 00:17:11,856
Yeah?
370
00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:15,773
So between, uh,
between that story
371
00:17:15,773 --> 00:17:18,254
and the one that mommy
read you last night
372
00:17:18,254 --> 00:17:21,997
which one.. did you like...
373
00:17:21,997 --> 00:17:23,129
...better?
374
00:17:24,652 --> 00:17:26,001
Better?
375
00:17:26,001 --> 00:17:28,873
Yeah, between
Clive and Winky?
376
00:17:28,873 --> 00:17:30,832
Winky.
377
00:17:30,832 --> 00:17:32,312
Oh, yeah?
378
00:17:32,312 --> 00:17:33,661
Why?
379
00:17:34,488 --> 00:17:36,707
Winky was funny.
380
00:17:36,707 --> 00:17:37,882
How about that?
381
00:17:40,233 --> 00:17:44,367
And you like Winky the best?
382
00:17:44,367 --> 00:17:45,890
I love you.
383
00:17:49,111 --> 00:17:53,681
And.. And you like
the name Winky, right?
384
00:17:53,681 --> 00:17:55,683
Yes.
385
00:17:55,683 --> 00:17:57,163
Oh!
386
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:06,041
Hey.
387
00:18:06,041 --> 00:18:07,651
Oh, you done already?
388
00:18:07,651 --> 00:18:08,783
Yeah.
389
00:18:08,783 --> 00:18:10,741
Yeah? Well, is there a decision?
390
00:18:10,741 --> 00:18:12,569
Yeah!
391
00:18:12,569 --> 00:18:14,005
Mm-hmm?
392
00:18:16,660 --> 00:18:17,835
Well?
393
00:18:21,578 --> 00:18:24,625
She picked yours.
394
00:18:24,625 --> 00:18:25,843
Really?
395
00:18:25,843 --> 00:18:31,458
Yeah, Clive.
Clive all the way.
396
00:18:31,458 --> 00:18:32,633
- No kidding?
- Yep.
397
00:18:32,633 --> 00:18:34,330
- She liked mine better.
- Yep.
398
00:18:34,330 --> 00:18:38,247
Why are you lying to me?
399
00:18:38,247 --> 00:18:41,076
- What?
- You're lying to me.
400
00:18:41,076 --> 00:18:43,992
You get that from "yep"?
401
00:18:43,992 --> 00:18:46,516
No, I listened
outside of Ally's door.
402
00:18:46,516 --> 00:18:47,648
Why would you do that?
403
00:18:47,648 --> 00:18:48,997
Because I knew
you would lie to me!
404
00:18:48,997 --> 00:18:51,652
Oh, yeah, I lied,
but the nice way.
405
00:18:51,652 --> 00:18:54,045
I don't need you
to protect my feelings, Ray.
406
00:18:54,045 --> 00:18:55,177
Don't you think
I can handle it
407
00:18:55,177 --> 00:18:56,483
that I write a children's story
408
00:18:56,483 --> 00:18:58,180
and my own daughter
doesn't even like it?
409
00:18:58,180 --> 00:19:00,487
- No, of course you can.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
410
00:19:00,487 --> 00:19:01,923
First, you win, then you rob me
411
00:19:01,923 --> 00:19:04,273
of the opportunity
to lose with dignity!
412
00:19:04,273 --> 00:19:07,102
I think you lost that
when you listened at the door.
413
00:19:07,102 --> 00:19:08,277
Fine, Ray, fine.
414
00:19:08,277 --> 00:19:09,496
You know, I try to do something
415
00:19:09,496 --> 00:19:10,975
to make me feel better
about myself
416
00:19:10,975 --> 00:19:15,023
and I end up making you feel
better about yourself.
417
00:19:15,023 --> 00:19:16,372
Thank you.
418
00:19:17,939 --> 00:19:19,245
Look, come on.
419
00:19:19,245 --> 00:19:20,855
You should feel better
about yourself.
420
00:19:20,855 --> 00:19:22,900
You came up with the whole idea
for the story.
421
00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:25,033
I just.. I found a way
to make it work, that's all.
422
00:19:25,033 --> 00:19:26,991
Yeah, great,
so I'm just the idea person.
423
00:19:26,991 --> 00:19:29,080
You're the guy that can
make it all happen.
424
00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:32,475
Sometimes-sometimes
I'm just the idea person.
425
00:19:32,475 --> 00:19:34,173
Right? Like with raising
the kids.
426
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:35,696
I think they should eat.
427
00:19:35,696 --> 00:19:38,307
You know how to feed them.
428
00:19:38,307 --> 00:19:39,961
Right?
429
00:19:39,961 --> 00:19:41,789
I think they shouldn't be naked.
430
00:19:41,789 --> 00:19:45,184
You know what
to do there too, right?
431
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:47,751
If it was up to me, they'd
be eatin' cereal every day
432
00:19:47,751 --> 00:19:49,362
and wearin' the boxes.
433
00:19:50,754 --> 00:19:52,365
So great. I'm a good mother.
434
00:19:52,365 --> 00:19:53,627
I knew that.
435
00:19:53,627 --> 00:19:58,066
I just.. I wanted to do
something else.
436
00:19:58,066 --> 00:19:59,502
You did.
437
00:19:59,502 --> 00:20:01,243
Look, you wanted
to write a children's book
438
00:20:01,243 --> 00:20:02,288
and you wrote one.
439
00:20:02,288 --> 00:20:04,072
Yeah, the loser one.
440
00:20:04,072 --> 00:20:06,248
No, there's no losing.
441
00:20:06,248 --> 00:20:08,119
There wouldn't be
this stupid competition
442
00:20:08,119 --> 00:20:10,252
if you hadn't
asked me for help.
443
00:20:10,252 --> 00:20:11,906
You know what ruined it for you?
444
00:20:11,906 --> 00:20:14,387
Me.
445
00:20:14,387 --> 00:20:17,085
- That's true.
- Yeah, it is.
446
00:20:17,085 --> 00:20:19,348
You could have
done this on your own.
447
00:20:19,348 --> 00:20:22,743
And I think I remember
asking you not to include me
448
00:20:22,743 --> 00:20:25,833
five days ago, remember...
449
00:20:26,921 --> 00:20:28,096
...when you didn't hate me?
450
00:20:29,358 --> 00:20:31,752
Yeah, that's true too.
451
00:20:31,752 --> 00:20:34,624
So I guess, if I want to get
something accomplished
452
00:20:34,624 --> 00:20:37,714
I should just
stay away from you.
453
00:20:41,501 --> 00:20:42,937
There you go.
454
00:20:42,937 --> 00:20:45,244
Yeah, 'cause, like,
what was I thinking
455
00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:46,767
asking you to help me?
456
00:20:46,767 --> 00:20:48,421
That's exactly, uh, right.
457
00:20:48,421 --> 00:20:50,858
Yeah, because I do
like my story better.
458
00:20:50,858 --> 00:20:52,686
You should. It's good.
459
00:20:52,686 --> 00:20:55,993
Yeah, but who cares
what you think, right?
460
00:20:55,993 --> 00:20:58,082
And Ally probably only
liked your story better
461
00:20:58,082 --> 00:20:59,910
because it's the last one
that she heard.
462
00:21:03,131 --> 00:21:05,002
I don't know...
I don't know about that.
463
00:21:05,002 --> 00:21:08,092
Come on, I mean you were
really selling your version.
464
00:21:08,092 --> 00:21:11,095
You were, like, makin' all
the goofy faces, weren't you?
465
00:21:11,095 --> 00:21:13,141
You were outside the door.
466
00:21:13,141 --> 00:21:15,622
And were you hoppin'
like a bunny too?
467
00:21:15,622 --> 00:21:18,320
I was... it served the story.
468
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:19,365
Yeah, yeah.
469
00:21:19,365 --> 00:21:23,934
Ray.
470
00:21:25,806 --> 00:21:28,330
Winky doesn't hop
like a... drunk.
471
00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:38,427
'Ello, Clive.
472
00:21:41,082 --> 00:21:44,303
A spot o' ice cream?
473
00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:46,000
You know, that's not
an accent, Ray.
474
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:49,656
That's a speech impediment.
475
00:21:49,656 --> 00:21:51,310
Hey, Raymond.
Thought I'd better warn you.
476
00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:53,268
Dad's on his way over
with his favorite portrait.
477
00:21:53,268 --> 00:21:54,661
- Oh, no.
- Mom?
478
00:21:54,661 --> 00:21:56,358
Hey, everybody.
479
00:21:56,358 --> 00:21:58,534
So you don't think
your old man's a painter, huh?
480
00:21:58,534 --> 00:21:59,666
Dad, dad, dad, dad--
481
00:21:59,666 --> 00:22:01,276
Look at this!
482
00:22:01,276 --> 00:22:04,453
The greatest bullfighter
of all time
483
00:22:04,453 --> 00:22:05,889
"El Cordobes."
484
00:22:07,413 --> 00:22:10,111
I found him on the back
of a King of Spades.
485
00:22:10,111 --> 00:22:11,765
- That's good.
- That's really good, Frank.
486
00:22:11,765 --> 00:22:13,201
- Yeah, nice.
- Oh, yeah!
487
00:22:13,201 --> 00:22:14,507
And here's one of your mother.
31422
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