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®Hon3yHD.com!®
1
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Ashley?
2
00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:09,811
Look,Pop,
I know you don't want me here.
3
00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:11,007
Well, you know where the door is.
4
00:00:11,160 --> 00:00:12,924
Ruby: You've seen how powerful
my children have become.
5
00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:15,447
We gotta retrieve that Necronomicon
before they get their hands on it.
6
00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:17,762
- Where'd you put it?
- Kelly: The best hiding place
7
00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:20,366
you could think of
was a fucking corpse?!
8
00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:22,682
- (screeching)
- (Ash yelling)
9
00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:26,128
This town is only big enough
for one asshole... me.
10
00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:28,487
- We gotta get out of here.
- Kelly: Stop!
11
00:00:28,640 --> 00:00:30,210
Beat it.
Roads are for cars.
12
00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:31,805
Fuck you!
You need to watch where you're going!
13
00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:33,200
But I don't see the book.
Where is it?
14
00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:35,567
It's locked up in the Delta,
safe and sound.
15
00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:37,000
- Jefe, it's the Delta!
- Hey!
16
00:00:37,160 --> 00:00:40,084
- (howling)
- (horn honking)
17
00:00:43,360 --> 00:00:47,684
♪ Only you ♪
18
00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:53,210
♪ Cared when I needed a friend ♪
19
00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:59,248
♪ Believed in me
through thick and thin ♪
20
00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:02,242
♪ This song is for you ♪
21
00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:09,124
I Filled with gratitude and love... I
22
00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:11,965
Miss you, baby.
23
00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:13,645
Look at him.
24
00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:15,888
Man, that car's been with him
through thick and thin.
25
00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:19,362
War and peace.
It was his everything.
26
00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:23,161
I mean, it didn't even
have a CD player, though.
27
00:01:23,320 --> 00:01:25,243
True that.
28
00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:28,051
But he loved it.
29
00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:30,680
- (man yelling)
- (whistle blowing)
30
00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:36,690
Girl: I cannot believe you guys
jacked this from Ashy Slashy.
31
00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:38,808
- Are you insane?
- Boy: Oh, relax.
32
00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:40,883
- That's all just an urban myth.
- (coughs)
33
00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:43,850
Okay, not what I meant, you know.
34
00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:46,884
My dad's the sheriff, it's not a great
look if I get busted for grand theft auto.
35
00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:50,163
It's not grand theft
if the car's worth $30.
36
00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:52,527
(giggles) Look, I just
don't want to give my dad
37
00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:54,205
another reason
to get pissed off, you guys.
38
00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:56,761
He's been totally on edge
ever since this Ash guy came to town.
39
00:01:56,920 --> 00:01:58,331
Lace, don't stress.
40
00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:00,289
All right,
after we smoke this dude's stash,
41
00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:02,408
we'll dump his piece-of-shit car
somewhere.
42
00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:06,127
- No one will ever know about it.
- Okay, cut it out, Tyler.
43
00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:07,281
Sorry.
44
00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:09,482
It doesn't help that
your pervert friend is watching.
45
00:02:09,640 --> 00:02:11,210
- Lacey: Eww!
- (all chuckling)
46
00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:13,562
Fine, but I'm taking the weed.
47
00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:15,688
Wait up.
48
00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:20,008
- Come on, pervert.
- (music playing on radio)
49
00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:27,405
I Precious friend... I
50
00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:30,086
(both moaning)
51
00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:36,087
Hey, didn't your mom
used to bone Old Hatchet Hand?
52
00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:38,971
- Uh...
- It's a chainsaw, brah.
53
00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:41,168
No, they were just friends, eww.
54
00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:43,084
She totally banged him.
55
00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:47,086
She was like,
"Oh, Ashy Slashy!"
56
00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:49,641
- (laughing)
- Eww, cut it out! God.
57
00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:56,449
Uh, let's take a break.
You need to cool off.
58
00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:58,762
Well, hey...
59
00:02:58,920 --> 00:03:03,448
I think we should both be able
to express our feelings physically.
60
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:07,730
Oh, God.
I've never met anyone like you.
61
00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:13,170
"Verata..."
62
00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:16,529
- (growling)
- "...kanda..."
63
00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:22,330
- I guess what I'm trying to say is...
- "...misartra..."
64
00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:26,370
- (growling)
- "...me-stro-bean."
65
00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:29,768
- (Amber screams)
- Oh, holy shit!
66
00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:31,809
What the fuck was that?!
67
00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:35,162
- I love you, too.
- Huh?
68
00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:38,364
But the car, and uh...
69
00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:41,842
Uh... never mind.
70
00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:48,407
Oh, yeah.
71
00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:50,164
- (Amber biting)
- Whoa! Fuck!
72
00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:52,084
Ah, what the fu--
73
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,602
(music playing)
74
00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:00,491
- (wind blowing)
- (cat screeching)
75
00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:05,407
- Time to go.
- Go where?
76
00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:08,643
Get the Necronomicon back
before it falls into the wrong hands.
77
00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:11,201
- Ash: What do you think you're doing?
- Ruby: Fixing your mistake.
78
00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:12,850
Ash:
I don't think so, bossy.
79
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:16,322
This is my team,
and they go where I tell them, not you.
80
00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:17,681
Forget the stupid book.
81
00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:19,842
Chasing that thing's
only going to give you a leg cramp.
82
00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:21,684
You don't know
what you're talking about.
83
00:04:21,840 --> 00:04:23,171
Oh, I don't?
84
00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:25,647
You're the one who grew up
your entire life looking for that book,
85
00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:27,165
and you never found it.
86
00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:30,688
Me on the other hand, I can't fart
without tripping over that thing.
87
00:04:30,840 --> 00:04:32,080
And I fart a lot.
88
00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:33,730
All right, then,
please tell me
89
00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:36,042
what is your genius plan
for getting the book back?
90
00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:38,202
Oh, I'll tell you.
First things first.
91
00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:39,441
- Uh...
- (farts)
92
00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:47,323
(chuckles)
93
00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:55,324
Kelly:
What the hell is pink fuck?
94
00:04:55,520 --> 00:05:00,162
Pink fuck is a proprietary mix
of liqueurs and spirits
95
00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:03,364
garnished with orange rind,
and, um, nutmeg.
96
00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:05,921
Oh, and...
97
00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:09,281
there's a shit ton of Ketamine in it.
98
00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:10,601
- (laughing)
- Got it.
99
00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:13,081
Uh, second question,
who the hell is this guy?
100
00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:16,369
Well, come on, seriously?
You've never heard me talk about Chet?
101
00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:18,045
"No Fret Chet?"
My main man?
102
00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:20,601
- My number one partner...
- Both: In crime!
103
00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:22,489
- Never formally charged.
- (Ash laughs)
104
00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:24,085
Back in high school,
me and Chet, man,
105
00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:26,049
we used to throw
the most righteous parties.
106
00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:29,249
People would come from
far and wide for a taste of sweet...
107
00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:31,084
Both: Pink fuck!
108
00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:33,925
- Here you go. Try it.
- Nah, I'm good.
109
00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:36,765
Uh, why not?
Are you a cop?
110
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:40,811
No, dude, I just don't feel like
drinking a glass of Ketamine right now.
111
00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:41,961
Or ever!
112
00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:45,761
Ash: She's not a cop, but I have
never seen her do Ketamine.
113
00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:47,445
(both grunting)
114
00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:48,965
Uh...
115
00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:53,328
Solidarity!
Till the wheels fall off!
116
00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:56,609
(groans)
So, the sugar is hurting my teeth.
117
00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:59,331
And, uh, I'm pretty-- Uh...
118
00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:00,925
(slurred)
my tongue is numb.
119
00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:03,128
And it's not...
120
00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:05,806
(chuckfing)
121
00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:11,647
Hey, how about you, slim?
122
00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:13,802
Want to try a pink fuck,
hold the pink?
123
00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:15,928
Chet: Ow!
124
00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:19,163
(chuckfing)
Mm. This feels so nice.
125
00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:22,290
- That's what brings the crowds in.
- That's what I'm counting on.
126
00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:25,848
Chet, what do you say,
we cook up a big batch of happy,
127
00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:27,809
and throw one of
our epic parties tonight?
128
00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:29,962
And the kids who stole your car
will show up.
129
00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:33,010
- That's a genius plan, Jefe.
- Thanks, Pablo.
130
00:06:33,840 --> 00:06:35,490
It's not the worst plan.
131
00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:37,290
Till the wheels fall off, brother.
132
00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:39,488
(both vocalizing)
133
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,767
- (both imitating explosion)
- (Kelly sighs)
134
00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:45,611
Both: K-hole! Yeah!
135
00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:48,648
Amber! Tyler!
136
00:06:48,840 --> 00:06:50,763
Honeymoon's over!
137
00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:02,602
(gasps)
Oh, my God.
138
00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:05,884
What's going on?
139
00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:12,962
Tyler? Amber?
Are you there?
140
00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:16,164
- (Lacey gasps)
- (Tyler groaning)
141
00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:25,640
Dude...
142
00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:32,730
- Holy...
- Shit.
143
00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:34,291
- Come on, let's go!
- (engine starts)
144
00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:37,970
(screaming)
145
00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:39,406
(screams)
146
00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:46,200
Lacey: What is... what is happening?
I'm not doing this!
147
00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:49,006
(engine revving)
148
00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:53,370
(screams) Oh, my God.
What the fuck is happening?!
149
00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:55,605
- No!
- (tires screeching)
150
00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:58,571
(Lacey screams)
151
00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:00,370
(Delta whirring)
152
00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:07,451
(gasps)
153
00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:11,531
(Lacey screaming)
154
00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:17,721
Stop it!
155
00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:22,562
- Come on!
- Run, Blake, run!
156
00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:27,044
- (music playing on stereo)
- Medication time!
157
00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:35,604
You know,
I got to hand it to you.
158
00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:38,127
This party is popping off, man.
159
00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:40,806
I mean,
you got the football team
160
00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:43,440
and cool goth kids.
161
00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:46,046
The fun gay guy everybody loves.
162
00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:48,771
Some really old men.
163
00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:52,089
What the rice and beans
is he doing here?
164
00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:55,408
What the rice and beans
are you doing here?
165
00:08:55,560 --> 00:08:57,642
Hey, it's my question!
Look, beat it.
166
00:08:57,800 --> 00:08:59,245
This is my party, Okay?
167
00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:03,007
It's for young, hip people,
not old guys that smell like soup.
168
00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:04,924
No, no, no.
This is my bar.
169
00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:08,641
Bert, Roy, and me been coming here
every Saturday for 40 years.
170
00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:11,929
You don't just waltz in here
and push me around.
171
00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:13,525
Come on, boys.
172
00:09:13,680 --> 00:09:15,489
(groans)
Story of my life.
173
00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:18,962
Now he's going to be a creepy old guy
and scare all the cool kids away.
174
00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:22,323
- Now I'll never get my car back.
- You mean your book, right?
175
00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:24,289
Well, of course I mean the car.
176
00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:27,444
(laughs)
Oh, did I say car? I meant car.
177
00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:30,490
Look, you wanna be part of this team?
I got your first assignment.
178
00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:31,846
- Kill your dad.
- Yep.
179
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:33,490
No. Just distract him.
180
00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:36,325
Keep him away from the kids, though.
I'm gonna do some digging.
181
00:09:38,040 --> 00:09:40,008
Tyler, come on. Come on.
182
00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:42,686
- Come on.
- Oh, no, fuck!
183
00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:44,968
- (screaming)
- (engine revving)
184
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:47,809
Fuck you!
185
00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:49,610
Come on, come on.
Get down, get down, get down.
186
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,320
Lacey:
Blake, it won't stop!
187
00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:56,165
Fuck! Fuck, I can't!
188
00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:57,486
(grunts)
189
00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:00,881
Oh, no, no! No!
190
00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:03,520
- (screaming continues)
- It's coming, man.
191
00:10:03,680 --> 00:10:06,286
- It's going to find us!
- Not if we don't move.
192
00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:09,731
Oh, please don't run.
193
00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:11,206
Shh, shh.
194
00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:13,089
Stay. Don't run. Don't run.
195
00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:17,927
(engine sputtering)
196
00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:20,367
- (electricity zapping)
- (engine stops)
197
00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:22,170
(whispers)
It stopped.
198
00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:30,927
- It's definitely stopped, man, let's--
- No, don't, don't, don't.
199
00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:32,081
(whispers)
We gotta stay here.
200
00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:33,730
_ Why, man?
Why Is this happening?
201
00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:36,565
I don't know. I don't...
202
00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:39,121
eVving)
203
00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:43,131
- Tyler!
- Tyler, run!
204
00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:47,601
Okay, time for a little drinking game.
205
00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:50,127
Now, the rules are easy, all right?
206
00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:53,443
We go around, and everybody says
the worst thing they've ever done.
207
00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:55,921
If somebody's done that,
you take a drink.
208
00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:58,242
All right? Okay.
I'll go first.
209
00:10:58,400 --> 00:10:59,526
(chuckles)
210
00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:04,282
Recently, I stole a cream colored,
1973 Delta 88 Oldsmobile,
211
00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:07,603
with a bunch of skanky beer cans
in the back, and a creepy old book.
212
00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:10,411
All right, now who's done that?
213
00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:12,568
Nobody? Really?
Come on.
214
00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:14,882
Not one of you was out there
hot rodding around?
215
00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:16,087
Huh?
216
00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:18,641
Jeez, maybe I should've
picked a cooler table.
217
00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:22,407
- I once crashed my mother's Jetta.
- This is not about your mother's Jetta!
218
00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:25,960
Can I PMY?
219
00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:29,642
♪ Great God in heaven,
you know I love you ♪
220
00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:33,486
♪ Whoa, you know I do... ♪
221
00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:35,563
Well, that depends.
222
00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:38,929
- Ever do anything bad?
- No, but the night's still young.
223
00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:40,161
(Ash laughing)
224
00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:47,205
So, we can both agree this car
ain't coming back, right?
225
00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:49,446
" Right?
' (gasps)
226
00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:50,721
Oh, sorry.
227
00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:55,087
- Hey.
- You okay?
228
00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:57,288
Yeah, sorry.
My head's not right lately.
229
00:11:57,480 --> 00:12:00,131
I... I can't eat,
230
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:02,926
I'm clammy,
and I haven't slept in days.
231
00:12:04,160 --> 00:12:06,970
I'm terrified I'm going to have
another one of my visions.
232
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:10,209
- It's like looking at hell itself.
- Yo, ese.
233
00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:13,682
Yeah, well, um, hey, man.
I know what you're going through.
234
00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:16,491
You know, I mean, I had some
super dark thoughts, too,
235
00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:20,008
- after my time in Desert Storm.
- Oh, yeah. You were in the army?
236
00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:22,640
I mean, I don't like
to put labels on it.
237
00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:24,683
I'm not comfortable
with that, but, uh,
238
00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:26,888
shooting at Jihadis
affects a man, you know?
239
00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:30,328
- How did you get past it?
- First you have to,
240
00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:32,130
uh, clear your mind.
241
00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:34,886
And then you, uh,
check out your problems.
242
00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:37,281
And one by one,
and you solve them.
243
00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:40,165
You know?
Like, uh, friendly fire mishap.
244
00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:45,042
And, uh, Saudi gold.
245
00:12:47,160 --> 00:12:51,529
Like, uh, Anwar,
the uh, village boy.
246
00:12:51,680 --> 00:12:53,887
It's, uh...
247
00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:55,684
Mm. Your turn.
248
00:12:55,840 --> 00:12:59,208
Okay, please don't listen
to that numbnuts.
249
00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:02,569
Everyone in this world
is plagued by something evil.
250
00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:06,526
You can pour a drink
and you can ignore it.
251
00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:10,486
Or you can stand up
and you can fight it.
252
00:13:10,680 --> 00:13:13,160
Okay, so fight it, man.
Fight your evil.
253
00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:15,402
Yeah, you're right.
254
00:13:16,480 --> 00:13:18,608
I gotta be more like you.
I got to be strong.
255
00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:21,570
Man, you-you don't let
anything get to you.
256
00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:23,688
So, what does that mean?
257
00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:25,569
It means you just roll
with the punches.
258
00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:30,044
You don't need a job,
a boyfriend, or a home.
259
00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:33,926
- Well, I mean, I have a home.
- No, like a stationary home.
260
00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:37,920
You... you don't need anything
to define your worth.
261
00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:39,969
It's impressive.
262
00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:45,085
Yeah, yeah.
It's, uh, it's...
263
00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:47,129
it's definitely impressive.
264
00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:49,201
Thank you.
265
00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:54,284
- Fuck are you doing?
- Just being impressive.
266
00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:56,568
Look how impressive I am!
267
00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:59,644
(panting)
268
00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:03,361
(yelling)
269
00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:05,648
Come on, Tyler! Go!
270
00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:07,643
- (yelling continues)
- Come on.
271
00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:09,484
Tyler: Oh, no!
272
00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:13,326
(screams)
273
00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:24,003
(beeping)
274
00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:32,046
Tyler: God, no, no!
275
00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:37,524
(screaming)
276
00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:57,084
No! Oh, my God!
277
00:14:58,920 --> 00:14:59,967
(screaming)
278
00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:03,090
Man on radio:
Delta has just hit an all time high.
279
00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:09,285
Lacey: No!
280
00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:13,126
- (indistinct chatter, laughter)
- Woman: Hey, girl.
281
00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:16,803
Hey, there you are.
282
00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:18,530
You look cute.
283
00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:21,206
(indistinct conversations)
284
00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:26,851
- (music playing)
- Girls: Trick or treat!
285
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:29,321
Halloween?
No, you didn't!
286
00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:31,403
Uaughs)
287
00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:34,211
I'm trying to think of something bad,
but I'm such a good girl.
288
00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:35,486
Oh, come on.
289
00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:37,688
You must have one,
teeny, tiny, little flaw.
290
00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:40,491
Well, I did break up
with my boyfriend earlier tonight.
291
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:42,210
- Oh.
- Uh, that's not how this game...
292
00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:43,566
" Shh!
' $0rry_
293
00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:45,051
Talk to me, Amber.
294
00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:48,249
I don't know what my idiot son
did to land a piece like you.
295
00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:50,926
Blink twice if you're here
against your will.
296
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:53,526
Strangely,
I'm here of my own volition.
297
00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:56,769
For reasons outside my control,
I need your son.
298
00:15:56,920 --> 00:16:01,164
It's barely visible, but there's something
inside him which makes him...
299
00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:02,526
special.
300
00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:04,569
Is this a biological clock thing?
301
00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:07,564
'Cause basically, Ash and I
have the same "baby formula"
302
00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:08,881
down in the old crotch bottle.
303
00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:11,407
Oh, yeah.
(chuckles)
304
00:16:11,560 --> 00:16:12,607
Mm.
305
00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:14,888
What are you doing?
306
00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:17,122
Just want to see
Bigfoot's big old feet.
307
00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:21,406
Ruby: Okay, that's it.
308
00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:23,289
- (Brock grunting)
- Apologize.
309
00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:25,966
- I'm sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
- Uh, hold that thought.
310
00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:28,888
What the hell is going on?
311
00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:31,247
You know,
I'm done playing it your way.
312
00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:34,404
From now on, you keep
your gene pool away from me.
313
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:36,927
- Okay, what'd you do?
- Nothing.
314
00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:40,562
She was waving me in
like a damn air traffic controller.
315
00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:42,961
- I thought she liked me.
- Nobody likes you.
316
00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:44,804
That's why I didn't want you
at this party.
317
00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:49,045
Well, I wanted to die without laying eyes
on my disappointment of a kid again.
318
00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:51,567
- But them's the breaks.
- Yeah?
319
00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:54,291
Well, I'm not a kid anymore.
I'm a man.
320
00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:57,364
What do you say we settle
our differences like men?
321
00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:01,447
What do you got in mind?
322
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:04,080
(cheering)
323
00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:06,803
Yeah, Jefe, urn,
324
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,446
why not just have
a real conversation with your pops,
325
00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:12,285
and then we can get back to looking
for the book and the Delta.
326
00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:15,091
Pablo, talking is for talkers.
327
00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:17,925
People who talk.
I'm a doer.
328
00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:19,809
Now, friend, kindly step aside
329
00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:22,804
and let this great eagle soar
on the back of that bull.
330
00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:25,247
(cheering)
331
00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:27,004
Okay-
332
00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:40,966
- (grunting)
- ♪ For criminal acts ♪
333
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:43,481
I And violence on the stage... ♪
334
00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:45,642
Is that the best you got?!
335
00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:49,646
- Whoa, whoa!
- (mechanical bull grunting)
336
00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:51,450
Hey, Pop.
(laughifl9)
337
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:52,806
- Whoa!
- Yeah!
338
00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:57,042
- Oh, yeah.
- ♪ Go to hell... ♪
339
00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:59,726
- (laughing)
- Jefe!
340
00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:00,881
- Ash: Whoa:
- Whoa:!
341
00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:02,451
The best you got, huh?!
342
00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:04,642
Whoa, whoa!
343
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:06,006
Not good. Oh, no.
344
00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:08,288
Oh, here we go!
Mayday. Mayday!
345
00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:10,960
- (Ash yelling, grunts)
- (buzzer sounds)
346
00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:15,682
The eagle has landed.
347
00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:18,127
♪ Go to hell I
348
00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:25,568
♪ You're something
that never should have happened... ♪
349
00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:28,050
Controller:
Let's get him up here!
350
00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:30,521
♪ You even make
your grandma sick... ♪
351
00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:33,251
(crowd chanting "Brock")
352
00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:38,489
Leaving so soon?
353
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:44,083
Yeah, well, we know
the Necronomicon's not showing up here.
354
00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:48,404
And since I wasted all that time
following Ash's dumb plan,
355
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:51,649
- that's really in the wind.
- Yeah, well, we all waste time.
356
00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:55,324
Important thing is
when we decide to stop.
357
00:18:56,600 --> 00:19:00,400
- What are you doing out here?
- I'm sick of waiting around.
358
00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:04,167
Trying to come up with another plan
so I can take out my frustrations.
359
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:15,524
I got a plan B.
360
00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:18,126
What?
361
00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:21,284
Look, we might not
be able to find the book,
362
00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:24,410
but we can go after the ones
who are searching for it, the spawn,
363
00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:27,570
and take them out before
they can even summon up Baal.
364
00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:29,131
Come with me.
365
00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:32,887
Why?
366
00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:35,888
Kelly...
367
00:19:36,360 --> 00:19:38,044
You're some immortal ass kicker,
368
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:41,283
yet you call Ash for help.
369
00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:45,604
- I want to know why.
- I needed help.
370
00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:48,923
You've seen what my children
can do to me alone.
371
00:19:49,120 --> 00:19:53,091
But now I'm starting to see that
it wasn't Ash I was meant to call.
372
00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:55,402
It was you.
373
00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:01,726
Help me.
374
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,446
Then let's go kill your kids.
375
00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:07,722
(cheering)
376
00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:10,805
Let her rip.
377
00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:13,080
- (buzzer sounding)
- Nice and tight.
378
00:20:17,120 --> 00:20:18,201
(grunting)
379
00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:22,971
Careful, Pop.
Don't throw your back out!
380
00:20:23,120 --> 00:20:24,451
(mechanical bull grunting)
381
00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:31,127
What the hell is keeping him on?
382
00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:35,963
- Oh, yeah!
- (screams)
383
00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:38,280
Whoa!
384
00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:43,410
Here we go!
385
00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:49,689
- Show off.
- ♪ You're something ♪
386
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:52,047
♪ That never
should have happened... ♪
387
00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:56,125
- (buzzer sounding)
- Man: Winner, winner!
388
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:58,647
- (electricity zapping)
- Winner, winner.
389
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:00,723
(Amber moans)
390
00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:08,971
Whew, whoa.
391
00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:10,969
All in the ass, son.
392
00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:13,401
You got to clench those cheeks
together nice and tight.
393
00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:16,166
So you get them so hard
you can crack a walnut on them.
394
00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:18,049
- Ooh.
- Ooh, my.
395
00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:20,202
That fanny's hard
as Detroit steel, Daddy.
396
00:21:20,360 --> 00:21:21,521
That ain't the only thing.
397
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:23,489
I can't believe
you're doing this to me again.
398
00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:26,723
Oh, he always was a sore loser.
Even as a kid, when we played catch.
399
00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:29,201
There's no winners
when you play catch, Pop.
400
00:21:29,360 --> 00:21:32,011
You just throw the ball
back and forth, and you bond.
401
00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:35,687
Yeah, well, I did my best, son,
but somewhere along the line, I lost you.
402
00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:37,365
Yeah, like the day I was born.
403
00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:40,723
No, the day you went
to that cabin and...
404
00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:44,009
And what?
Go ahead, say it.
405
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:46,242
We're both thinking the same thing.
Say it.
406
00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:49,051
And killed those kids.
407
00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:51,208
And?
408
00:21:51,360 --> 00:21:53,124
And Cheryl.
409
00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:55,567
You took my daughter from me,
goddamn you.
410
00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:57,722
You think I killed Cheryl?
411
00:21:57,880 --> 00:21:59,609
You think I killed my own sister?
412
00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:01,603
What do you want me to believe?
That it was the monsters?
413
00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:03,569
Yeah, Dad, 'cause it's the truth.
414
00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:06,451
Goddamn it, for once in your life,
take some responsibility.
415
00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:08,568
You're the monster, Ash.
You killed them all.
416
00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:10,888
And then you took off,
and left me here to die alone.
417
00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:12,804
I had no choice, Dad.
418
00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:16,089
You were a miserable son of a bitch.
419
00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:18,242
You know that's why
Mom left you, right?
420
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:21,766
Nothing you can say can hurt me.
421
00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:24,844
You already broke my heart.
422
00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:31,010
Come on, sweetheart.
423
00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:39,400
Never should've come to
this stupid town, Pablo.
424
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:42,564
Yeah, we didn't pick it.
Evil did.
425
00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:47,968
Jesfis, Maria, y José.
She's a Deadite!
426
00:22:48,120 --> 00:22:50,043
Okay, what are you going to do?!
427
00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:57,210
Okay, this is your plan?
428
00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:02,481
Please stop!
429
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:06,122
' (crying) Oh, no!
' (Blake groaning)
430
00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:08,641
- Don't!
- I'm sorry we stole you.
431
00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:12,247
_ (Qfunti
mung)
432
00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:21,802
Just let him go.
Please, just let him go.
433
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:23,445
- (engine revving)
- Sorry.
434
00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:28,361
No!
435
00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:30,204
- No, no, no, no! (screaming)
- (Blake shrieking)
436
00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:33,284
Oh, my God!
437
00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:41,530
I'm sorry.
I love you so much!
438
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:43,808
I love you, too!
439
00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:46,645
(brakes screech)
440
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:49,565
- (grunting, coughing)
- (Lacey sobbing)
441
00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:53,241
No, please.
442
00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:58,880
(both screaming)
443
00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:04,244
Stop!
444
00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:07,402
You can't just sit there.
445
00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:08,846
Yes, I can.
446
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:10,684
My plan failed.
447
00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:13,042
I didn't get the car back.
Didn't get the book back.
448
00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:16,170
- Didn't get the girl.
- Because she was a Deadite.
449
00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:19,881
There's no such thing as a Deadite.
Haven't you talked to my father?
450
00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:22,361
According to him,
I'm the monster.
451
00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:24,449
Mm. I'm the killer.
452
00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:25,931
Mm.
453
00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:28,162
I'm just a lying sack of lard!
454
00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:32,443
Okay, you cannot
just sit there on a stool,
455
00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:34,568
and drink your demons away,
all right?
456
00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:36,768
You got to confront them.
Life doesn't work that way.
457
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:39,526
Listen, you got to march
into that bathroom,
458
00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:41,091
and you got to show your pops
459
00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:43,527
you're not the guy
that he thinks you are.
460
00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:46,729
You're Ash Williams,
demon hunter,.
461
00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:49,241
Deadite slayer,
friend, hero,
462
00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:51,323
and Jefe.
463
00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:56,769
Okay, I think it's time you introduced
Brock to that great eagle.
464
00:24:56,920 --> 00:24:59,526
(breathing heavily, squawks)
465
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:02,604
(Squawks)
466
00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:04,364
(in slurred speech)
Hey, sorry, here you go.
467
00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:06,881
- Go, huh, hey-hey, sorry!
- What are you doing?
468
00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:09,646
You're so much better at this
than my dead wife.
469
00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:12,406
(gasping)
Whoa, ho.
470
00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:16,451
- Do you want to know a secret?
- I'd rather you not talk, but sure.
471
00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:18,921
I fucking hate dirty old men.
472
00:25:19,120 --> 00:25:20,610
- What?
- (growling)
473
00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:21,921
(yells) Help!
474
00:25:22,120 --> 00:25:24,168
(distorted)
Don't you want me anymore, Daddy?
475
00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:25,731
- Help!
- (chainsaw buzzing)
476
00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:30,491
Holy shit!
477
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:34,163
"_Ash?
- Hiya, Pop.
478
00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:37,324
- Got room for a threesome?
- Oh, shit.
479
00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:44,886
(distorted) I'm warning you.
I like it rough.
480
00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:00,611
You're a dirty, dirty girl, Amber.
481
00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:28,203
Believe it or not, Dad,
this is my day job.
482
00:26:28,360 --> 00:26:30,886
Holy shit.
483
00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:38,080
(door opens)
484
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:41,489
(screams)
It's Ashy Slashy!
485
00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:43,369
Brock: No, no, no, no.
Wait, kid.
486
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:46,205
Ashy Slashy's going to kill us all!
487
00:26:46,360 --> 00:26:48,567
Hey, relax!
Everything's fine!
488
00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:51,883
- (crowd screaming)
- Don't run, you idiots.
489
00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:54,168
He's going to save us, don't run.
490
00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:59,884
Stop, you damn morons!
My son is a hero!
491
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:01,963
You hear me?
He's a hero!
492
00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:04,688
You really mean that, Dad?
493
00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:09,525
You think I'm a hero?
494
00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:11,603
Of course I do.
495
00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:13,205
Oh, Ashley.
496
00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:16,324
L-I've wasted so many years
being wrong about you.
497
00:27:18,360 --> 00:27:19,885
One more time?
498
00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:23,328
(sighs)
I was wrong.
499
00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:28,723
But relieved to see what
an honorable man you've become.
500
00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:32,247
Because there's something
I've kept from you.
501
00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:35,927
- What is it, Pop?
- Something so vital that...
502
00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:38,560
the fabric of your life may begin...
503
00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:41,240
- (Lacey screaming)
- (horn honking)
504
00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:43,289
Oh, Dad!
505
00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:45,602
No! Oh, no!
506
00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:47,125
No!
507
00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:49,169
(screaming)
508
00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:54,924
♪ Happy trails to you ♪
509
00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:59,324
I Until we meet again ♪
510
00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:04,247
♪ Happy trails to you ♪
511
00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:08,962
♪ Keep smiling until then ♪
512
00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:13,131
♪ Who cares about the clouds
if we're together? I
513
00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:17,922
♪ Just sing a song,
and bring the sunny weather ♪
514
00:28:18,080 --> 00:28:22,244
♪ Happy trails to you ♪
515
00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:27,167
I Till we meet again ♪
516
00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:45,648
Hey, you knuckleheads,
Ash Williams here.
517
00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:47,962
If someone offers you
a drink of pink fuck,
518
00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:50,481
throw it away,
'cause it's bad shit.
519
00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:53,883
It will mess with your brain,
and not in the good way.
520
00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:57,251
Be smart,
and stay safe out there.
521
00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:03,325
Created by: A. Vandelay
Post Haste Digital
38505
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