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1
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♪ Nutri-Grain bar
and a Mountain Dew ♪
2
00:00:02,869 --> 00:00:05,804
♪ Nutri-Grain bar
and a Mountain Dew ♪
3
00:00:05,806 --> 00:00:09,007
♪ Nutri-Grain bar
and a Mountain Dew ♪
4
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:10,675
[FARTS]
5
00:00:11,279 --> 00:00:13,145
It's my goldfish's birthday.
6
00:00:13,147 --> 00:00:15,814
I should be having the time of my life,
but I'm troubled.
7
00:00:15,816 --> 00:00:18,417
I don't think Klaus's boys
are having a very good time.
8
00:00:18,419 --> 00:00:19,752
I know!
9
00:00:19,754 --> 00:00:22,487
Big Ed is being a little quiet.
10
00:00:22,489 --> 00:00:24,756
Courtney has barely touched his blunt.
11
00:00:24,758 --> 00:00:28,360
And Vance hasn't thrown a single
bottle cap in my cleavage.
12
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:29,694
Something is off.
13
00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:32,164
I haven't had one fart
cupped and thrown at me.
14
00:00:32,166 --> 00:00:33,097
[FARTS]
15
00:00:33,099 --> 00:00:35,099
They're just farting normals.
16
00:00:35,101 --> 00:00:36,168
[GRUNTING]
17
00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:37,770
Hey, Klaus, do you think maybe
18
00:00:37,772 --> 00:00:39,972
someone else could get a turn?
19
00:00:39,974 --> 00:00:41,105
No way!
20
00:00:41,107 --> 00:00:44,176
No one is touching this piñata but me!
21
00:00:44,178 --> 00:00:47,579
I know it sounds crazy,
but does Klaus not know how to share?
22
00:00:47,581 --> 00:00:50,248
[CHAIN SAW REVS]
23
00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:51,450
Skittles!
24
00:00:51,452 --> 00:00:53,918
Stay back! This candy is all mine!
25
00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:56,054
We spent months planning this party,
26
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:59,724
and Klaus is ruining it by being Klaus!
27
00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:00,925
Let's do the cake.
28
00:01:00,927 --> 00:01:03,128
That's good, his boys love cake.
29
00:01:03,130 --> 00:01:05,730
Who wants cake?!
30
00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:06,865
Put away those plates.
31
00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:10,735
This is just for me,
thank you very much.
32
00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:13,005
It's my birthday and my cake.
33
00:01:13,007 --> 00:01:15,340
Klaus, you're not gonna eat
this whole cake.
34
00:01:15,342 --> 00:01:17,275
Oh, yeah?
35
00:01:17,277 --> 00:01:20,112
[MUNCHING]
36
00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:26,084
[GAGS]
37
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:29,221
This is especially hard
because I hate confetti cake.
38
00:01:29,223 --> 00:01:30,755
[GAGS]
39
00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:33,559
Courtney, I cannot believe
this is your favorite.
40
00:01:36,497 --> 00:01:38,096
Don't go, boys!
41
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:41,233
I was just about to bring out
the bong decorating station!
42
00:01:41,235 --> 00:01:43,502
TOGETHER: Naw, son.
43
00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:44,903
Uh-oh.
44
00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:47,840
You know the boys say
"sup" when they're happy?
45
00:01:47,842 --> 00:01:51,309
"Naw, son" is the exact opposite.
46
00:01:51,311 --> 00:01:54,079
Naw, son!
47
00:01:56,717 --> 00:01:59,689
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
48
00:01:59,724 --> 00:02:03,055
♪ I got a feelin'
that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
49
00:02:03,057 --> 00:02:06,258
♪ The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face ♪
50
00:02:06,260 --> 00:02:10,863
♪ And he's shinin'
a salute to the American race ♪
51
00:02:12,599 --> 00:02:15,934
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
52
00:02:15,936 --> 00:02:18,470
- ♪ Good... ♪
- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
53
00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:19,705
Aah!
54
00:02:20,875 --> 00:02:24,109
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
55
00:02:28,082 --> 00:02:30,683
Can't sleep? Me neither.
56
00:02:30,685 --> 00:02:33,752
I'm just so damn worried
about Klaus and his boys!
57
00:02:33,754 --> 00:02:35,087
We can't sleep either.
58
00:02:35,089 --> 00:02:37,890
We're worried that Mr. Klaus
is gonna lose his boys!
59
00:02:37,892 --> 00:02:40,158
Did you know that
Courtney dis-invited Klaus
60
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,626
to his daughter's quinceañera?
61
00:02:41,628 --> 00:02:43,428
I did not know that.
62
00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:46,698
He's been so much less annoying
since his Tampa boys moved here.
63
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:48,901
We have to teach Klaus
the importance of sharing
64
00:02:48,903 --> 00:02:50,369
before he loses them!
65
00:02:50,371 --> 00:02:54,239
And has to bring his electronic
drums back to the house.
66
00:02:54,241 --> 00:02:57,309
I can still hear him not keeping beat.
67
00:02:57,844 --> 00:03:00,913
[PIANO PLAYING]
68
00:03:03,383 --> 00:03:05,718
I love how you've kept
up with your piano.
69
00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:07,185
How long has it been?
70
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,853
600 years.
71
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:11,656
And I'm finally gonna
have my first recital.
72
00:03:11,658 --> 00:03:13,191
Thing is, like all musicians,
73
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:16,261
I'm much better when I don't take drugs.
74
00:03:16,263 --> 00:03:19,798
I need someone to make sure I
don't do any drugs this week.
75
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,266
I'm your man.
76
00:03:21,268 --> 00:03:23,936
I've kept Toshi off bath
salts for almost six months.
77
00:03:23,938 --> 00:03:26,739
That's great.
Let's celebrate this arrangement.
78
00:03:26,741 --> 00:03:28,173
[BONG SHATTERS]
79
00:03:28,184 --> 00:03:30,475
No way, no drugs.
80
00:03:30,477 --> 00:03:33,545
It's times like this I'm
glad I had Rogu install a...
81
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,347
secret zip line!
82
00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:36,681
Aaaah!
83
00:03:36,683 --> 00:03:38,483
[THUD]
84
00:03:38,485 --> 00:03:39,551
Oooh.
85
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:42,154
Rogu procrastinate.
86
00:03:46,706 --> 00:03:50,062
Sharing turns a regular
meal into an experience.
87
00:03:50,064 --> 00:03:53,732
With sharing, I can try a
little of Jeff's patatas bravas
88
00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:55,200
and Francine's calamari.
89
00:03:55,202 --> 00:03:58,203
And they can both taste my balls!
90
00:03:58,205 --> 00:03:59,604
Dad, they're called croquettes.
91
00:03:59,606 --> 00:04:01,874
So sharing is when you
get less of what you want
92
00:04:01,876 --> 00:04:05,343
because you're a chump...
sounds pretty stupid to me.
93
00:04:05,345 --> 00:04:08,547
Mr. Klaus, how can you not
know the value of sharing?
94
00:04:08,549 --> 00:04:10,883
Didn't you learn this stuff
on "Sesame Street"?
95
00:04:10,885 --> 00:04:13,017
I never watched that Big Birdshit.
96
00:04:13,019 --> 00:04:15,820
Growing up in Germany,
we had a real kids show,
97
00:04:15,822 --> 00:04:17,289
"Gernot and Strudel."
98
00:04:17,291 --> 00:04:22,026
Well, they must've done
an episode about sharing.
99
00:04:22,028 --> 00:04:25,497
You would think so, wouldn't you?
100
00:04:25,499 --> 00:04:28,367
[THUNDER CRASHES]
101
00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:31,836
Ahh, gotta drain the ol' lizard.
102
00:04:31,838 --> 00:04:33,972
Don't touch my grub, hippies!
103
00:04:35,642 --> 00:04:36,709
Guys, this is great!
104
00:04:36,711 --> 00:04:38,110
All we have to do is find
105
00:04:38,112 --> 00:04:40,312
the "sharing"
episode of his stupid show!
106
00:04:40,314 --> 00:04:43,515
Easy-breezy-
tomato-soup-and-grilled-cheesy.
107
00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:45,049
I don't know, guys.
108
00:04:45,051 --> 00:04:46,985
Did you notice how he ominously
looked out that window
109
00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:48,520
when we brought up the
"sharing" episode?
110
00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:51,256
You're worried because...
he looked out a window?
111
00:04:51,258 --> 00:04:53,592
Why do you think they make windows?
112
00:04:53,594 --> 00:04:55,327
Stop being weird, Hayley.
113
00:04:55,329 --> 00:04:57,129
Look at me!
114
00:04:57,131 --> 00:04:59,864
I'm looking through the magic window!
115
00:04:59,866 --> 00:05:02,601
Oh, no, now I have an ominous!
116
00:05:02,603 --> 00:05:04,603
[LAUGHTER]
117
00:05:04,605 --> 00:05:05,771
[DOORS OPEN]
118
00:05:07,207 --> 00:05:09,908
I know that look. Roger's jonesing.
119
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:15,347
What the?
120
00:05:20,955 --> 00:05:22,754
Baby carrots?
121
00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:27,025
Dr. Slippy's Lock Pick &
Switcharoo Carrots Kit.
122
00:05:27,027 --> 00:05:28,761
[DING!]
123
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,898
Oh, God, his drums are back!
124
00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:36,501
I thought we had more ti-i-i-ime!
125
00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:40,505
Here we go, I found a clip of the
"Gernot and Strudel" show.
126
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:43,776
[DRUMS PLAYING]
127
00:05:45,379 --> 00:05:49,481
Es ist Zeit, die Show zu starten!
128
00:05:52,386 --> 00:05:54,386
German Wikipedia or "Viko-pedia!"
129
00:05:54,388 --> 00:05:57,055
says the show takes place
in the "magical world
130
00:05:57,057 --> 00:05:59,191
of an old coat hanger factory."
131
00:05:59,193 --> 00:06:02,194
Gernot is a worm and
the flawless leader.
132
00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:04,729
Worm boss. Tight.
133
00:06:04,731 --> 00:06:06,598
Next there's Kommandant
Strudel Goofel-berry.
134
00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:07,866
A sassy hippo.
135
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:11,136
[LAUGHS] Is there another kind?
136
00:06:11,138 --> 00:06:12,671
HAYLEY: Then there's a two-headed blob,
137
00:06:12,673 --> 00:06:14,339
Uschi and Booshi.
138
00:06:14,341 --> 00:06:17,209
Uschi represents the sadness
of the failed fall harvest.
139
00:06:17,211 --> 00:06:20,078
And Booshi represents the
brief moment of happiness
140
00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:22,214
that washes over you before death.
141
00:06:22,216 --> 00:06:25,617
Finally there's a talking file cabinet,
Doctor Du-Du Dankers,
142
00:06:25,619 --> 00:06:28,353
who represents the perfection
of the organizational skills
143
00:06:28,355 --> 00:06:30,355
that every German child dreams of,
144
00:06:30,357 --> 00:06:32,624
but nightmarishly never achieves.
145
00:06:32,626 --> 00:06:35,360
[GASPS] There's the episode on sharing!
146
00:06:35,362 --> 00:06:36,362
[CLICKS]
147
00:06:36,363 --> 00:06:38,763
Huh, not available for download.
148
00:06:38,765 --> 00:06:42,034
That's strange. That's the one
episode you can't download.
149
00:06:42,036 --> 00:06:43,301
Damn it!
150
00:06:43,303 --> 00:06:45,370
Why does God love
kicking us in the dick?!
151
00:06:45,372 --> 00:06:48,040
Well, if we can't download the episode,
152
00:06:48,042 --> 00:06:50,175
I guess we'll just have to...
153
00:06:50,177 --> 00:06:52,377
perform it ourselves!
154
00:06:52,379 --> 00:06:53,978
Well, it took three days,
155
00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:57,249
but I'm glad we finally heard
the end of your sentence!
156
00:07:01,988 --> 00:07:03,722
I must still be dreaming.
157
00:07:03,724 --> 00:07:07,125
Gernot, is that really you?
158
00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:10,195
Check out this insane
worm voice I came up with.
159
00:07:10,197 --> 00:07:12,264
[AS ROGER] This is no dream, Klaus.
160
00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:14,266
We're gonna teach you how to share!
161
00:07:14,268 --> 00:07:16,508
No, Stan! Nuh-uh.
162
00:07:20,307 --> 00:07:24,443
Oh, my God,
you guys are doing my favorite show!
163
00:07:24,445 --> 00:07:29,514
It's Gernot, Uschi, Booshi,
Strudel, and Du-Du!
164
00:07:29,516 --> 00:07:32,051
[GOOFY VOICE] It's good
to see you too, Klaus!
165
00:07:32,053 --> 00:07:34,053
We're here to teach you about sharing!
166
00:07:34,055 --> 00:07:35,587
Oh, don't be silly!
167
00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:37,989
You can't start with the
big lesson of the day.
168
00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:39,591
That's the end of the show.
169
00:07:39,593 --> 00:07:41,993
First you have to do the opening song,
170
00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:43,128
then the numbers jamboree,
171
00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:44,529
the message from the legislature
172
00:07:44,531 --> 00:07:46,397
about new government regulations,
173
00:07:46,399 --> 00:07:49,534
the grammar gulag,
a reading of the crop yields,
174
00:07:49,536 --> 00:07:52,537
and the time for undeserved spanking.
175
00:07:52,539 --> 00:07:55,206
[ITALIAN ACCENT] I can't-a
believe-a what I'm a-hearing.
176
00:07:55,208 --> 00:07:58,209
I a-guess we have to do
the whole show-a-ghetti.
177
00:07:58,211 --> 00:07:59,811
Why are you doing an Italian accent?
178
00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:04,215
I can do a-Italy or [NORMAL
VOICE] I can do Jeff.
179
00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:05,617
Italy's good.
180
00:08:05,619 --> 00:08:09,087
[ITALIAN ACCENT] No,
Italy is-a the best!
181
00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:10,422
♪♪
182
00:08:10,424 --> 00:08:12,291
♪ Gernot and Strudel ♪
183
00:08:12,293 --> 00:08:16,027
♪ Children are weak and
have very small brain ♪
184
00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:17,496
♪ Gernot and Strudel ♪
185
00:08:17,498 --> 00:08:20,632
♪ Your body can be
trained to not feel pain ♪
186
00:08:20,634 --> 00:08:23,568
♪ The Ministry of
Culture has approved ♪
187
00:08:23,570 --> 00:08:26,237
♪ Your watching of this show ♪
188
00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:29,975
♪ If you catch your
parents with rock music ♪
189
00:08:29,977 --> 00:08:33,378
♪ Let the government know ♪
190
00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:36,715
♪ You'll work in a factory
till the day you die ♪
191
00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:40,519
♪ Tears are for the French,
you are not allowed to cry ♪
192
00:08:40,521 --> 00:08:46,257
♪♪
193
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:51,930
♪♪
194
00:08:51,932 --> 00:08:53,665
♪ Gernot and Strudel ♪
195
00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:57,268
♪ Children are weak and
have very small brain ♪
196
00:08:57,270 --> 00:08:58,937
♪ Gernot and Strudel ♪
197
00:08:58,939 --> 00:09:02,408
♪ Your body can be
trained to not feel pain ♪
198
00:09:03,944 --> 00:09:07,278
We near the end of the show.
199
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,815
And one step closer to death's embrace.
200
00:09:09,817 --> 00:09:13,418
And that means it's time
for the lesson of the day!
201
00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:17,222
Strudel has had success
in the government lottery
202
00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:19,691
and has won a potato.
203
00:09:19,693 --> 00:09:22,093
I'm very hungry, Strudel.
204
00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:24,095
May I share your potato?
205
00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:25,764
A-no you cannot-a.
206
00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:30,969
I'm a-greedy and I will not
a-share this potato with you.
207
00:09:30,971 --> 00:09:32,571
Mangia!
208
00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:34,039
I am dying.
209
00:09:34,041 --> 00:09:36,041
And now I am dead.
210
00:09:36,043 --> 00:09:38,177
Strudel, you Dummkopf!
211
00:09:38,179 --> 00:09:40,579
You should have shared with him!
212
00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:43,114
Sharing is so important!
213
00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:46,317
I... I understand now.
214
00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:49,320
I feel terrible for not
sharing in the past.
215
00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:51,990
I want to start sharing right away!
216
00:09:54,862 --> 00:09:56,461
Water.
217
00:09:56,463 --> 00:09:59,398
Please, Jeff,
allow me to share my water with you.
218
00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:02,434
Drink, my boy. Drink from my bowl.
219
00:10:03,070 --> 00:10:05,136
[GULPING]
220
00:10:05,138 --> 00:10:06,805
Lots of pulp in this water.
221
00:10:06,807 --> 00:10:08,507
That's not pulp.
222
00:10:11,478 --> 00:10:13,278
We've had some ups and downs,
223
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,480
but you've kept me off
drugs for three days.
224
00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:19,284
And surprisingly I'm not
having any craaaviiings!
225
00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:28,627
♪♪
226
00:10:28,629 --> 00:10:37,903
♪♪
227
00:10:37,905 --> 00:10:47,246
♪♪
228
00:10:47,248 --> 00:10:56,721
♪♪
229
00:10:56,723 --> 00:11:06,098
♪♪
230
00:11:09,403 --> 00:11:10,802
Aren't we going to keep doing the show?
231
00:11:10,804 --> 00:11:13,204
Why? You already learned to share.
232
00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:14,873
Oh. That's too bad.
233
00:11:14,875 --> 00:11:19,611
But I guess when the show's over,
it's over.
234
00:11:19,613 --> 00:11:21,880
Unless...
235
00:11:21,882 --> 00:11:25,016
the show must go on.
236
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:26,351
[THUNDER CRASHES]
237
00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:32,157
[LAUGHS MANIACALLY]
238
00:11:32,159 --> 00:11:34,960
- Uh, are we gonna talk about that?
- Talk about what?
239
00:11:34,962 --> 00:11:37,028
You didn't notice how Klaus
looked out the window and...
240
00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:38,830
Again with this window business!
241
00:11:38,832 --> 00:11:41,566
Geez, Hayley, broken record much?
242
00:11:41,568 --> 00:11:43,368
Didn't you hear him laughing like...
243
00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:45,170
Now you're worried because he laughed?
244
00:11:45,172 --> 00:11:47,238
He's got a great sense of humor!
245
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:49,641
Babe, give it a rest.
246
00:11:49,643 --> 00:11:52,878
You're embarrassing me
in front of my friends.
247
00:11:57,785 --> 00:11:59,518
STAN: What's going on?
248
00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:03,588
FRANCINE: Ugh,
the hell did I drink last night?
249
00:12:03,590 --> 00:12:05,991
HAYLEY: Oof, my heads...
250
00:12:05,993 --> 00:12:08,927
Wait, heads?
251
00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:11,730
JEFF: I feel strange.
252
00:12:13,266 --> 00:12:14,666
Where's the zipper?
253
00:12:14,668 --> 00:12:17,002
I can't get this thing off!
254
00:12:17,004 --> 00:12:18,470
Wait, I think...
255
00:12:18,472 --> 00:12:21,006
We've been turned into puppets!
256
00:12:21,008 --> 00:12:22,674
Damn it, I'm the worm.
257
00:12:22,676 --> 00:12:24,609
At least you don't have two heads!
258
00:12:24,611 --> 00:12:26,211
Two heads are better than one!
259
00:12:26,213 --> 00:12:28,147
If one of them isn't a shithead!
260
00:12:28,149 --> 00:12:30,682
[GASPS]
261
00:12:30,684 --> 00:12:32,484
Klaus! Did you do this?
262
00:12:32,486 --> 00:12:35,821
I did! And I have wonderful news.
263
00:12:35,823 --> 00:12:39,290
You're all going to keep
doing the show for me!
264
00:12:39,292 --> 00:12:40,826
Why don't we start with
one of the episodes
265
00:12:40,828 --> 00:12:43,562
about properly cleaning your butthole?
266
00:12:47,701 --> 00:12:49,835
Smells like Sup Bud in here.
267
00:12:49,837 --> 00:12:50,969
What's Sup Bud?
268
00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:52,438
Nothing, bud, what's up with you?
269
00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:54,239
Will you both shut up?!
270
00:12:54,241 --> 00:12:56,374
How did you do this, Klaus?
271
00:12:56,376 --> 00:12:58,444
Dr. Weitzman at the CIA did it.
272
00:12:58,446 --> 00:13:00,779
The CIA has puppet technology?
273
00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:03,248
Oh, yeah,
the CIA is always installing puppets,
274
00:13:03,250 --> 00:13:04,516
all over the globe.
275
00:13:04,518 --> 00:13:06,918
Fozzie Bear was the Shah
of Iran for seven years.
276
00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:09,321
Klaus, we don't like being puppets!
277
00:13:09,323 --> 00:13:10,789
- Really?
- Yes!
278
00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:15,060
I'm craving a hand up my
ass in a very unnerving way.
279
00:13:15,062 --> 00:13:17,863
And I really hate this dang worm leash.
280
00:13:17,865 --> 00:13:19,264
Stop the complaining!
281
00:13:19,266 --> 00:13:20,666
The "Gernot and Strudel" show
282
00:13:20,668 --> 00:13:22,868
is the most important
thing in the world to me!
283
00:13:22,870 --> 00:13:24,803
And if you don't
perform whenever I want,
284
00:13:24,805 --> 00:13:26,938
I'm going to read you a list of things
285
00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:28,674
that aren't important to me.
286
00:13:28,676 --> 00:13:31,677
He's bluffing.
No one keeps a list of that.
287
00:13:31,679 --> 00:13:33,479
Championship bull riding.
288
00:13:33,481 --> 00:13:36,814
Mustard. Non-helium balloons.
289
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:39,017
- Stop, stop!
- Then sing!
290
00:13:39,019 --> 00:13:40,418
[ALL SIGH]
291
00:13:40,420 --> 00:13:42,621
♪ Gernot and Strudel ♪
292
00:13:45,493 --> 00:13:46,958
Well, I did it.
293
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:50,095
I got you here clean and
sober for your piano recital.
294
00:13:50,097 --> 00:13:51,897
Thank you, Steve.
295
00:13:51,899 --> 00:13:53,732
- I think you're up.
- [APPLAUSE]
296
00:14:02,176 --> 00:14:06,044
♪♪
297
00:14:06,046 --> 00:14:07,312
I know him.
298
00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:09,581
He's sometimes my uncle
but always my friend.
299
00:14:09,583 --> 00:14:11,116
I feel you, dude.
300
00:14:11,118 --> 00:14:14,452
He's sometimes my friend,
but always my customer.
301
00:14:14,454 --> 00:14:16,054
Delmonico?!
302
00:14:16,056 --> 00:14:17,789
Please tell me you're here as a friend.
303
00:14:17,791 --> 00:14:19,057
I cannot.
304
00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:20,992
It's strictly business today.
305
00:14:20,994 --> 00:14:22,127
I delivered the piano.
306
00:14:22,129 --> 00:14:23,328
Oh, good.
307
00:14:23,330 --> 00:14:25,263
It's basically made out of drugs.
308
00:14:25,265 --> 00:14:27,465
- Oh, no!
- Oh, yeah!
309
00:14:27,467 --> 00:14:30,468
I coated the white
piano keys with ecstasy.
310
00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:32,470
The black keys are black tar heroin.
311
00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:34,873
The sheet music is blotter acid paper.
312
00:14:34,875 --> 00:14:38,210
The bench he's sitting on is
actually a meth suppository.
313
00:14:38,212 --> 00:14:41,714
And the whole thing is dusted
with cocaine and ketamine.
314
00:14:42,350 --> 00:14:47,619
♪ Da, da, da-da-da ♪
315
00:14:47,621 --> 00:14:53,158
♪ Da, la, da-da, da-dee ♪
316
00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:55,594
♪ Da, da, da-da ♪
317
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:02,634
♪ Da-da-da-da ♪
318
00:15:02,636 --> 00:15:06,705
♪ Da, da, da-da-da ♪
319
00:15:07,641 --> 00:15:09,374
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
320
00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:11,777
What? How is everybody liking this?!
321
00:15:11,779 --> 00:15:14,079
Oh, they're all my customers.
322
00:15:14,714 --> 00:15:16,448
[GRUNTING]
323
00:15:16,450 --> 00:15:17,983
This isn't working!
324
00:15:17,985 --> 00:15:20,185
We'll never break out of this cage!
325
00:15:20,187 --> 00:15:21,587
I'm not gonna sugarcoat it.
326
00:15:21,589 --> 00:15:24,590
This is not a great situation
we find ourselves in.
327
00:15:24,592 --> 00:15:25,791
I've got this dang...
328
00:15:25,793 --> 00:15:28,794
Stop complaining about your worm leash!
329
00:15:28,796 --> 00:15:30,929
I'm a [BLEEP] file cabinet!
330
00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:33,731
We have a theory about
what's going on with Klaus.
331
00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:35,801
When we re-created the show for him,
332
00:15:35,803 --> 00:15:38,937
we must have triggered
some unresolved trauma.
333
00:15:38,939 --> 00:15:41,206
Something happened to
Klaus with this show.
334
00:15:41,208 --> 00:15:45,411
And we need to get him to
share his trauma with us.
335
00:15:45,413 --> 00:15:48,080
- Another type of sharing.
- Yeah.
336
00:15:48,082 --> 00:15:50,282
And maybe that'll snap him out of this.
337
00:15:50,284 --> 00:15:54,486
Whoa, babes,
I couldn't follow any of that!
338
00:15:54,488 --> 00:15:56,055
- Awww.
- Come here, you!
339
00:15:59,159 --> 00:16:00,225
Yuck.
340
00:16:00,227 --> 00:16:01,827
KLAUS: It's true.
341
00:16:01,829 --> 00:16:04,630
Something terrible did happen.
342
00:16:04,632 --> 00:16:06,698
No, I-I can't talk about it.
343
00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:08,366
It's too painful.
344
00:16:08,368 --> 00:16:09,567
You can do it.
345
00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:12,704
I, this stupid worm, believe in you.
346
00:16:12,706 --> 00:16:15,040
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
347
00:16:15,042 --> 00:16:18,043
I was eight years old,
and I was in the audience
348
00:16:18,045 --> 00:16:21,779
for my favorite show in the whole world.
349
00:16:21,781 --> 00:16:25,451
But what started off as
the best day of my life
350
00:16:25,453 --> 00:16:26,985
became the worst.
351
00:16:26,987 --> 00:16:29,721
I was thrilled when I
was called up onto stage
352
00:16:29,723 --> 00:16:31,056
at the end of the show.
353
00:16:31,058 --> 00:16:33,659
At the time, I had a big crush on Uschi,
354
00:16:33,661 --> 00:16:35,727
so of course I got an erection.
355
00:16:35,729 --> 00:16:37,529
And when I was a child,
356
00:16:37,531 --> 00:16:39,731
I had a very sharp penis.
357
00:16:39,733 --> 00:16:42,400
It wasn't big but it was honed,
358
00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:43,469
like a paring knife.
359
00:16:43,471 --> 00:16:46,138
Anyways, I got a little baby boner
360
00:16:46,140 --> 00:16:48,540
and accidentally poked Uschi's puppeteer
361
00:16:48,542 --> 00:16:49,941
with my tiny dagger
362
00:16:49,943 --> 00:16:52,410
and she fell off the stage and was...
363
00:16:52,412 --> 00:16:54,012
electrocuted.
364
00:16:54,014 --> 00:16:56,148
Strudel and Du-Du rushed to save her.
365
00:16:56,150 --> 00:17:00,418
And they too were
immediately electrocuted.
366
00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:03,355
As the studio filled with
the smell of burnt flesh
367
00:17:03,357 --> 00:17:05,090
and polyester fur,
368
00:17:05,092 --> 00:17:09,627
me and my for-some-reason-
still-hard baby boner
369
00:17:09,629 --> 00:17:13,165
could only watch in shame.
370
00:17:13,167 --> 00:17:15,367
Gernot was the lone survivor...
371
00:17:15,369 --> 00:17:18,170
until that evening when he
shot himself in the face.
372
00:17:18,172 --> 00:17:21,173
The episode was banned and never aired.
373
00:17:21,175 --> 00:17:24,309
They replaced all the puppeteers
and kept making episodes,
374
00:17:24,311 --> 00:17:25,977
but it was never the same.
375
00:17:25,979 --> 00:17:28,180
I loved that show more than anything,
376
00:17:28,182 --> 00:17:31,449
and I was the one that destroyed it.
377
00:17:31,451 --> 00:17:33,519
Jesus, Klaus.
378
00:17:33,521 --> 00:17:35,587
And that's why you became a fish?
379
00:17:35,589 --> 00:17:37,122
What? No.
380
00:17:37,124 --> 00:17:39,725
That's how I became traumatized.
381
00:17:39,727 --> 00:17:43,128
But after sharing it,
I feel so much better.
382
00:17:43,130 --> 00:17:44,196
Thank you.
383
00:17:44,198 --> 00:17:47,065
Is there anything I can do for you?
384
00:17:47,067 --> 00:17:49,134
I guess you could let
us out of this cage.
385
00:17:49,136 --> 00:17:51,970
And I wouldn't mind having
my worm leash removed.
386
00:17:52,740 --> 00:17:54,072
[BUZZER]
387
00:17:54,074 --> 00:17:56,942
Oh, baby, that's the stuff.
388
00:17:56,944 --> 00:17:58,210
Oh, and also,
389
00:17:58,212 --> 00:18:00,746
I think we'd all like to
not be puppets anymore.
390
00:18:00,748 --> 00:18:01,880
TOGETHER: Mm-hmm.
391
00:18:01,882 --> 00:18:03,148
Oh, shoot.
392
00:18:03,150 --> 00:18:05,016
We don't have time to
get to Dr. Weitzman
393
00:18:05,018 --> 00:18:06,618
before he leaves for his summer job...
394
00:18:06,620 --> 00:18:09,955
selling clever T-shirts on
the Atlantic City boardwalk.
395
00:18:09,957 --> 00:18:12,357
I can't be stuck being
a worm all summer!
396
00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:15,093
I already put down my deposit
for boogie boarding camp!
397
00:18:15,095 --> 00:18:16,428
We could get there in time
398
00:18:16,430 --> 00:18:19,030
if we took a shortcut
through the Langley Dunes.
399
00:18:19,032 --> 00:18:20,098
But how?
400
00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:22,300
Those dunes are famously treacherous.
401
00:18:22,302 --> 00:18:25,703
I know! My boys have badass ATVs!
402
00:18:25,705 --> 00:18:26,872
Let's go!
403
00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:32,110
[GRUNTING]
404
00:18:32,112 --> 00:18:34,880
I refuse to be fat shamed.
405
00:18:36,984 --> 00:18:38,716
I called it a "worm leash."
406
00:18:38,718 --> 00:18:40,318
It was very uncomfortable.
407
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:43,455
You can still see the little
indent it made on my felt.
408
00:18:43,457 --> 00:18:47,392
Do you really think your boys
will let us use their ATVs?
409
00:18:47,394 --> 00:18:49,127
They seem mad at you.
410
00:18:49,129 --> 00:18:51,196
You really don't understand
411
00:18:51,198 --> 00:18:54,032
how truly tight I am with my boys.
412
00:18:54,074 --> 00:18:55,267
No way!
413
00:18:55,269 --> 00:18:56,734
You don't share, man.
414
00:18:56,736 --> 00:18:58,203
Okay, maybe I didn't use to.
415
00:18:58,205 --> 00:19:00,939
But I've learned how to share!
416
00:19:00,941 --> 00:19:02,674
And I brought you something.
417
00:19:02,676 --> 00:19:03,875
- A cake?!
- A piñata?!
418
00:19:03,877 --> 00:19:05,210
You're both right.
419
00:19:05,212 --> 00:19:09,114
I brought a broken piñata
filled with old cake!
420
00:19:10,418 --> 00:19:12,550
Mmm. Sup.
421
00:19:12,552 --> 00:19:13,751
Sup.
422
00:19:13,753 --> 00:19:14,953
Sup.
423
00:19:14,955 --> 00:19:16,888
Sup.
424
00:19:16,890 --> 00:19:19,024
That means they're boys again!
425
00:19:19,026 --> 00:19:21,359
Francine, I'm a worm, not an idiot.
426
00:19:21,361 --> 00:19:27,165
♪ Yeah, soo, we gone, huh,
stop, we good, stop ♪
427
00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:30,235
♪ Chill, we on, yeah,
scale, let's go ♪
428
00:19:30,237 --> 00:19:32,304
[CHEERING]
429
00:19:32,306 --> 00:19:34,039
♪ Take, huh, let's go, huh ♪
430
00:19:34,041 --> 00:19:36,442
♪ Set, let's roll ♪
431
00:19:36,444 --> 00:19:39,111
Oh, no... cliff.
432
00:19:39,113 --> 00:19:40,846
How are we going to get down?
433
00:19:40,848 --> 00:19:42,648
Easy! We're puppets.
434
00:19:42,650 --> 00:19:44,249
We don't have any bones!
435
00:19:47,254 --> 00:19:49,621
Wait, I have bones!
436
00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:51,589
[SMACK!]
437
00:19:51,591 --> 00:19:53,191
Uh, waiter?
438
00:19:53,193 --> 00:19:56,928
There's some bones in my fish.
439
00:19:56,930 --> 00:19:58,997
Come on, we're so close.
440
00:19:58,999 --> 00:20:00,332
Crap, forgot about the river
441
00:20:00,334 --> 00:20:02,267
that runs through the Langley Dunes!
442
00:20:02,269 --> 00:20:06,271
What a complex and exciting
ecosystem this town has!
443
00:20:06,273 --> 00:20:08,474
But how are we gonna get across?!
444
00:20:08,476 --> 00:20:10,476
I got this!
445
00:20:10,478 --> 00:20:12,277
Everyone on my back!
446
00:20:12,279 --> 00:20:14,812
♪ Straightenin',
straightenin', whoo ♪
447
00:20:14,814 --> 00:20:16,482
♪ Straightenin', yeah, straight ♪
448
00:20:16,484 --> 00:20:18,083
♪ Straightenin',
straightenin', soo ♪
449
00:20:18,085 --> 00:20:19,818
♪ Straightenin', yeah, straight ♪
450
00:20:19,820 --> 00:20:20,952
♪ Don't nothing get straightenin' ♪
451
00:20:20,954 --> 00:20:23,489
♪ But straightenin', hey ♪
452
00:20:23,491 --> 00:20:26,824
[HUMMING]
453
00:20:26,826 --> 00:20:29,961
Dr. Weitzman! We need our bodies back!
454
00:20:29,963 --> 00:20:31,296
Sure thing!
455
00:20:31,298 --> 00:20:33,132
I actually have your bodies right here!
456
00:20:34,634 --> 00:20:37,035
Nothing gross!
457
00:20:37,037 --> 00:20:39,338
I've actually been using them as a sofa.
458
00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:41,874
[ZAPPING]
459
00:20:45,579 --> 00:20:48,180
Aww, I kinda miss having two heads.
460
00:20:48,182 --> 00:20:51,049
Guys, I hate to say it,
I kinda miss the worm leash.
461
00:20:51,051 --> 00:20:53,785
I feel like we're forgetting something.
462
00:20:53,787 --> 00:20:55,120
Where's Klaus?
463
00:20:55,122 --> 00:20:58,590
Waaaaaaazzzzzuuuuuupppp!
464
00:20:58,592 --> 00:21:00,392
Bye! Have a beautiful time!
465
00:21:02,264 --> 00:21:03,995
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
33064
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