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1
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♪♪
2
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Face it, Franny,
you've got a brown thumb...
3
00:00:09,092 --> 00:00:11,425
and not the sexy kind.
4
00:00:11,427 --> 00:00:13,561
I can't even raise a tomato.
5
00:00:13,563 --> 00:00:15,964
What if I wanted to
raise children someday?!
6
00:00:15,966 --> 00:00:17,632
MAN: Having trouble growing a garden?
7
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Try a single plant.
8
00:00:19,303 --> 00:00:20,769
Wait, who said that?
9
00:00:20,771 --> 00:00:23,105
I did. Paul Rudd.
10
00:00:23,107 --> 00:00:25,307
On behalf of Ye Ol' Farmers' Almanac.
11
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Oh, my Instagram was open.
12
00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:28,910
If you're like me, you've tried
13
00:00:28,912 --> 00:00:31,379
all the fad gardening kits to no avail.
14
00:00:31,381 --> 00:00:33,315
Now try the one that works,
15
00:00:33,317 --> 00:00:35,183
the Ye Ol' Farmers' Almanac;
16
00:00:35,185 --> 00:00:37,786
a dense book filled
with vague instructions
17
00:00:37,788 --> 00:00:39,988
based off the position of the moon.
18
00:00:39,990 --> 00:00:42,724
And you know it works,
because it's me telling you.
19
00:00:42,726 --> 00:00:44,058
Paul Rudd.
20
00:00:44,060 --> 00:00:46,394
And I'm not a liar, I'm an actor.
21
00:00:46,396 --> 00:00:48,663
Watch, now I'll act sad.
22
00:00:50,266 --> 00:00:53,802
♪♪
23
00:00:53,804 --> 00:00:56,270
♪ Hard times are real ♪
24
00:00:56,272 --> 00:01:00,342
♪ There's dusty fields
no matter where you go ♪
25
00:01:00,344 --> 00:01:02,944
♪♪
26
00:01:02,946 --> 00:01:05,547
♪ You may change your mind ♪
27
00:01:05,549 --> 00:01:10,284
♪ 'Cause the weeds are high
where corn don't grow ♪
28
00:01:10,286 --> 00:01:12,887
[THUNDER BOOMS]
29
00:01:12,889 --> 00:01:15,489
♪ You may change your mind ♪
30
00:01:15,491 --> 00:01:19,227
♪ 'Cause the weeds are high
where corn don't grow ♪
31
00:01:19,229 --> 00:01:23,832
♪♪
32
00:01:23,834 --> 00:01:26,501
I have mastered nature!
33
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I am stronger than God!
34
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♪♪
35
00:01:32,709 --> 00:01:35,756
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
36
00:01:35,791 --> 00:01:38,980
♪ I got a feelin'
that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
37
00:01:38,982 --> 00:01:41,983
♪ The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face ♪
38
00:01:41,985 --> 00:01:46,655
♪ And he's shinin'
a salute to the American race ♪
39
00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:51,860
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
40
00:01:51,862 --> 00:01:54,328
- ♪ Good... ♪
- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
41
00:01:54,330 --> 00:01:55,497
Aah!
42
00:01:56,600 --> 00:02:00,134
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
43
00:02:00,136 --> 00:02:02,537
♪♪
44
00:02:02,689 --> 00:02:04,222
You see Bev-D's latest post?
45
00:02:04,224 --> 00:02:06,490
Another out-of-focus photo of scallops?
46
00:02:06,492 --> 00:02:09,027
[CHUCKLES] Man,
that woman loves scallops.
47
00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:11,829
And I love that she's still
sticking with that hairstyle.
48
00:02:11,831 --> 00:02:13,565
I mean it's basically the Rachel!
49
00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:15,233
[BOTH LAUGHING]
50
00:02:15,235 --> 00:02:16,434
Who are you guys talking about?
51
00:02:16,436 --> 00:02:17,835
Bev DiVincenzo.
52
00:02:17,837 --> 00:02:19,771
Best social media follow in the game.
53
00:02:19,773 --> 00:02:21,305
What makes her so great?
54
00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:23,841
She's a normal,
sad person, but she posts
55
00:02:23,843 --> 00:02:25,777
constantly with the
confidence of someone
56
00:02:25,779 --> 00:02:27,779
that has an actually interesting life.
57
00:02:27,781 --> 00:02:30,982
Her life is so mundane
and yet so specific...
58
00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:32,116
it draws you in.
59
00:02:32,118 --> 00:02:33,851
She lives in Altoona, PA.
60
00:02:33,853 --> 00:02:35,920
She works out at a non-judgmental gym.
61
00:02:35,922 --> 00:02:37,389
She loves her Jeep Wrangler.
62
00:02:37,391 --> 00:02:39,123
She has a boyfriend named Irv.
63
00:02:39,125 --> 00:02:41,659
Every Cinco de Mayo,
she posts a photo of her famous wet,
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00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:43,327
watery homemade salsa.
65
00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:45,997
And her favorite nights are when
she's alone on her back patio
66
00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:47,599
with a cold bottle of Diet Coke
67
00:02:47,601 --> 00:02:50,068
and the Pittsburgh Pirates
playing on her iPad.
68
00:02:50,070 --> 00:02:52,804
Oh! She just started
using the term YOLO.
69
00:02:52,806 --> 00:02:55,740
It's her new
"sister from another mister."
70
00:02:55,742 --> 00:02:56,874
If you guys love her so much,
71
00:02:56,876 --> 00:02:58,610
why don't you go see her in real life?
72
00:02:58,612 --> 00:03:00,478
Altoona is only three hours away.
73
00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:02,881
Hmm. Premium content.
74
00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:05,549
I wouldn't be missed at work.
Bullock's using again.
75
00:03:05,551 --> 00:03:07,018
She would be easy to find.
76
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,287
Are you two really thinking
of driving three hours
77
00:03:09,289 --> 00:03:12,156
to stalk a total
stranger from Facebook?!
78
00:03:12,158 --> 00:03:14,092
That settles it. We're doing it.
79
00:03:14,094 --> 00:03:15,293
Come on, Hayley!
80
00:03:15,295 --> 00:03:16,361
Yes!
81
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,630
They both have diarrhea?
82
00:03:18,632 --> 00:03:19,897
Check it out...
83
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the first veggie from my garden!
84
00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:22,834
Nice, Mom!
85
00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:25,036
Jesus, man. Calm down.
86
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:27,305
I'm going to make
restaurant-quality food
87
00:03:27,307 --> 00:03:29,574
with them...
like they do at restaurants.
88
00:03:29,576 --> 00:03:33,778
I know a great recipe for truly
authentic Louisiana jambalaya
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00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:35,847
I learned from a blind bayou man.
90
00:03:35,849 --> 00:03:38,516
It was back in the 80's
during Mardi Gras...
91
00:03:38,518 --> 00:03:41,453
ROGER: I'd been drinking for
9 or 10 hours with no luck
92
00:03:41,455 --> 00:03:43,988
when a girl flashed "F-me" eyes
93
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right as she walked out the back door.
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♪♪
95
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I followed her down the
alley and then for miles...
96
00:03:51,131 --> 00:03:53,465
all the way out to the bayou.
97
00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:56,000
It was only there I realized...
98
00:03:56,002 --> 00:03:57,869
she was a raccoon.
99
00:03:57,871 --> 00:03:59,471
[RACCOON GROWLING]
100
00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:03,141
A male raccoon,
and he had led me into a trap.
101
00:04:03,143 --> 00:04:04,742
I was a goner.
102
00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:08,546
But then out of nowhere a
blind bayou man saved me!
103
00:04:08,548 --> 00:04:10,882
He took me back to his
shack and prepared me
104
00:04:10,884 --> 00:04:13,017
life-nourishing jambalaya,
105
00:04:13,019 --> 00:04:14,886
teaching me the recipe along the way.
106
00:04:14,888 --> 00:04:17,889
Hold up,
you were trying to bone a raccoon?
107
00:04:17,891 --> 00:04:19,291
Is... Is that what you're saying?
108
00:04:19,293 --> 00:04:20,758
Steve, you're totally missing
109
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one of the two points of my story.
110
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I know how to make truly
authentic jambalaya
111
00:04:25,431 --> 00:04:27,966
as taught to me by a blind bayou man!
112
00:04:27,968 --> 00:04:28,968
Count me out!
113
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I'm on a deadline.
114
00:04:30,070 --> 00:04:32,136
I didn't know you had
a new project, Klaus.
115
00:04:32,138 --> 00:04:36,074
Yeah, I'm writing a new
blockbuster movie for John Cena,
116
00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:38,142
but I only have four days to do it.
117
00:04:38,144 --> 00:04:39,744
That's when he has a book signing
118
00:04:39,746 --> 00:04:41,345
at the Langley Book Hole.
119
00:04:41,347 --> 00:04:43,415
I'm going to present him with the script
120
00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:45,283
and convince him to be in it.
121
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:46,885
I love John Cena!
122
00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:48,286
I didn't know he was an author.
123
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:50,488
Oh, yeah, great author.
124
00:04:50,490 --> 00:04:52,290
I'm actually slowly working my way
125
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:55,894
through his new one right now
because I don't want it to end!
126
00:04:55,896 --> 00:04:59,163
Well, [BLEEP] jambalaya.
Can I help with your script?
127
00:04:59,165 --> 00:05:00,498
Are you serious?!
128
00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:02,034
I was a huge fan of the porno
129
00:05:02,036 --> 00:05:04,236
you and Roger wrote back in Season 4.
130
00:05:04,238 --> 00:05:05,370
Alright!
131
00:05:05,372 --> 00:05:07,505
You're getting in at the right time too,
132
00:05:07,507 --> 00:05:09,574
I'm at the top of page one.
133
00:05:10,344 --> 00:05:13,578
Well, I'm glad you're excited
to cook my veggies, Roger!
134
00:05:13,580 --> 00:05:16,114
Only problem is I'm
having a little trouble
135
00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:17,515
remembering that recipe.
136
00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:20,168
Well, I was originally
thinking of cooking...
137
00:05:20,170 --> 00:05:21,569
I know how I can remember!
138
00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:23,905
You know how in college
if you go to class drunk
139
00:05:23,907 --> 00:05:25,307
and then take the final drunk
140
00:05:25,309 --> 00:05:27,709
- you remember everything and ace it?
- No.
141
00:05:27,711 --> 00:05:31,179
I just have to get back to
that exact same drunk headspace
142
00:05:31,181 --> 00:05:33,247
I was in in that bayou in '86.
143
00:05:33,249 --> 00:05:36,117
Honestly, Roger, if...
if you can't remember...
144
00:05:36,119 --> 00:05:38,052
No, no, I can get there.
145
00:05:38,054 --> 00:05:39,854
[BOTTLES SHATTER, BLENDER WHIRS]
146
00:05:39,856 --> 00:05:40,922
[GULPS]
147
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Do you remember the recipe?!
148
00:05:43,727 --> 00:05:47,062
- [URINE SPLATTERING]
- Roger, you're pissing in my colander.
149
00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:53,768
I can't believe we're in the
same town as Bev DiVincenzo!
150
00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:55,236
There's Suzie's Meal Box!
151
00:05:55,238 --> 00:05:57,772
The best chicken Caesar
salad in the world!
152
00:05:57,774 --> 00:05:59,574
There's her non-judgmental gym!
153
00:05:59,576 --> 00:06:01,509
Oh, my God, it's Bev! It's Bev!
154
00:06:01,511 --> 00:06:08,383
♪♪
155
00:06:08,385 --> 00:06:09,718
[CRASHING]
156
00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:12,020
[HISSING]
157
00:06:12,986 --> 00:06:14,655
FRANCINE: Roger!
158
00:06:14,657 --> 00:06:16,591
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
159
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Roger! You destroyed my garden!
160
00:06:19,396 --> 00:06:21,262
[VOMITS]
161
00:06:21,264 --> 00:06:24,900
[GASPS] I remember the jambalaya recipe!
162
00:06:27,003 --> 00:06:30,371
In walks the lead, Brevin Docent...
163
00:06:30,423 --> 00:06:32,624
Whoa! Sick name!
164
00:06:32,626 --> 00:06:35,694
We gotta give him a deep character.
165
00:06:35,696 --> 00:06:40,832
Women want to sleep with him
and guys wanna sleep with him.
166
00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:42,367
Yes.
167
00:06:42,369 --> 00:06:45,570
His ass looks hard but also soft.
168
00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:49,841
His eyes are two rhinestones
in a bowl of heavy cream.
169
00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:51,843
He's a guy you want to have a beer with,
170
00:06:51,845 --> 00:06:53,644
but when he's having a beer...
171
00:06:53,646 --> 00:06:56,381
he's doing nuclear
physics in a notebook.
172
00:06:56,383 --> 00:06:57,582
Yes!
173
00:06:57,584 --> 00:07:00,118
He fosters sick cats
and makes girls climax
174
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,120
like 18 times a night!
175
00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:03,855
Klaus!
176
00:07:03,857 --> 00:07:07,025
This is really good.
177
00:07:08,996 --> 00:07:11,196
Oh, my God, Francine there you are!
178
00:07:11,198 --> 00:07:12,531
I figured it all out...
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00:07:12,533 --> 00:07:14,599
how we can raise funds
to fix your garden.
180
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:16,935
I wasn't really worried
about the money part.
181
00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:19,404
The answer was right in
front of us the whole time!
182
00:07:19,406 --> 00:07:20,872
Jambalaya!
183
00:07:20,874 --> 00:07:23,274
We'll use a portion of the
profits from the restaurant
184
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:24,475
to fix your garden!
185
00:07:24,477 --> 00:07:25,810
What restaurant?!
186
00:07:25,812 --> 00:07:27,879
The jambalaya restaurant!
187
00:07:27,881 --> 00:07:30,749
That's what all the veggies
and seafood are for, silly!
188
00:07:31,885 --> 00:07:33,552
- I don't wanna...
- Holy crap!
189
00:07:33,554 --> 00:07:35,153
Look what was in the shrimp!
190
00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:37,022
It's a frozen alligator!
191
00:07:37,024 --> 00:07:40,158
I wonder if it was frozen alive
like "Encino Man"?
192
00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:43,562
What if this is an "Encino Man"
situation, Francine?
193
00:07:43,564 --> 00:07:45,030
We better defrost it.
194
00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:47,699
[DOORBELL DINGS]
195
00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:50,369
I think that's the new
front of the restaurant!
196
00:07:50,371 --> 00:07:52,170
New what of the huh?
197
00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:54,839
[CRANE HUMMING]
198
00:07:55,792 --> 00:07:57,642
You order the old bayou porch?
199
00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:59,611
Where you want it?
200
00:08:00,847 --> 00:08:03,514
[THUD]
201
00:08:03,516 --> 00:08:05,116
That'll work.
202
00:08:05,118 --> 00:08:07,986
- Right?
- Roger, that's where my garden was!
203
00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,020
She had a garden.
204
00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:10,956
Now we have a restaurant!
205
00:08:12,859 --> 00:08:15,326
Oh, my God! He's alive!
206
00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:16,595
I'm gonna name him Julius!
207
00:08:16,597 --> 00:08:18,463
Doesn't he look like a Julius?
208
00:08:18,465 --> 00:08:19,598
I don't know, Roger.
209
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:22,467
I don't know what a Julius looks like.
210
00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:24,669
All I can picture is a little Roman guy
211
00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:27,773
or a Philadelphia 76er.
212
00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:34,512
Roger, I don't want you running
a restaurant out of the house!
213
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:36,448
You're the one who wanted
to open a restaurant.
214
00:08:36,450 --> 00:08:40,919
No. I said I wanted to make a
"restaurant-quality" dish
215
00:08:40,921 --> 00:08:42,787
with vegetables from my garden.
216
00:08:42,789 --> 00:08:45,657
Oh, my God,
enough about your dumb garden!
217
00:08:45,659 --> 00:08:47,191
It was covered in throw-up!
218
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:49,394
And anyway,
it's too late because I sent Rogu
219
00:08:49,396 --> 00:08:50,862
to the wharf with a bunch of flyers,
220
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:53,798
and his cute ass always
pulls in business.
221
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:56,401
So that's it?
The house is now a restaurant?!
222
00:08:56,403 --> 00:08:58,536
Whoa! Francine! Your tone!
223
00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,338
It's upsetting Julius!
224
00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:02,474
God, he's soft.
225
00:09:02,476 --> 00:09:04,342
You should feel how soft he... Aah!
226
00:09:04,344 --> 00:09:06,478
[CHUCKLES] He keeps me quick.
227
00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:07,480
[SMOOCHES]
228
00:09:07,481 --> 00:09:09,081
Stan's going to kill us both
229
00:09:09,083 --> 00:09:11,816
if he comes back to a
restaurant in his living room!
230
00:09:11,818 --> 00:09:14,953
You're always so worried
about what Stan thinks.
231
00:09:14,955 --> 00:09:17,089
I'm starting to think you like him.
232
00:09:17,091 --> 00:09:18,890
Maybe even more than the restaurant.
233
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:21,960
Much more! Because I don't
like the restaurant at all!
234
00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:24,496
[GASPS] And there it is.
235
00:09:24,498 --> 00:09:25,964
You were right, Julius.
236
00:09:25,966 --> 00:09:28,663
I hate to do this,
but Julius and I have been talking
237
00:09:28,698 --> 00:09:31,169
and we don't think you're
dedicated to the restaurant.
238
00:09:31,194 --> 00:09:32,304
I have to fire you.
239
00:09:32,306 --> 00:09:36,140
You are no longer an employee
of Julius's Bayou Bistro.
240
00:09:36,192 --> 00:09:39,928
I was never an employee
of Julius's Bayou Bistro!
241
00:09:39,930 --> 00:09:41,595
And that's a dumb name!
242
00:09:41,597 --> 00:09:43,197
[GASPS] Too far!
243
00:09:43,199 --> 00:09:44,866
Just get your stuff and go.
244
00:09:44,868 --> 00:09:46,935
This is my stuff!
245
00:09:46,937 --> 00:09:50,071
This is all my stuff!
246
00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:53,041
[SMOOCHES]
247
00:09:53,043 --> 00:09:57,946
♪♪
248
00:09:57,948 --> 00:10:00,014
Where are we?
249
00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:02,416
Oh, my God.
250
00:10:02,418 --> 00:10:04,286
You guys had quite the crash.
251
00:10:04,288 --> 00:10:09,157
Lucky I was driving by.
Local hospital's a bunch of dipshits.
252
00:10:09,159 --> 00:10:10,625
I'll get you back on your feet.
253
00:10:10,627 --> 00:10:12,494
I'm Bev DiVincenzo.
254
00:10:13,497 --> 00:10:15,497
I'm just glad you guys didn't die.
255
00:10:15,499 --> 00:10:16,698
You know what they say...
256
00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:18,300
YOLO.
257
00:10:22,438 --> 00:10:25,640
♪♪
258
00:10:25,642 --> 00:10:28,176
Rogu, everyone's ready
and you haven't plated
259
00:10:28,178 --> 00:10:29,878
a single bowl of jambalaya?!
260
00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:31,930
Rogu in weeds.
261
00:10:31,932 --> 00:10:34,332
I'm starting to think all
that restaurant experience
262
00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:36,268
on your application was a lie.
263
00:10:36,270 --> 00:10:39,203
You wrote Rogu résumé.
264
00:10:39,205 --> 00:10:40,404
You got me there.
265
00:10:40,406 --> 00:10:42,874
Well, at least we can count on Julius.
266
00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:45,944
Perfect. As always.
267
00:10:45,946 --> 00:10:47,345
Whoa! [CHUCKLES]
268
00:10:47,347 --> 00:10:49,547
And as soon as Rogu is
ready with the jambalaya...
269
00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:50,949
Ready.
270
00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:54,486
Now I just don't know
what to believe, Rogu.
271
00:10:54,488 --> 00:10:55,887
Showtime!
272
00:10:56,655 --> 00:10:58,623
♪ Jambalaya ♪
273
00:10:58,625 --> 00:11:00,625
♪ Jambalaya ♪
274
00:11:00,627 --> 00:11:01,893
♪ If you want something good ♪
275
00:11:01,895 --> 00:11:03,962
♪ Eat as much as you can ♪
276
00:11:03,964 --> 00:11:05,897
♪ Jambalaya ♪
277
00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:07,699
♪ Jambalaya ♪
278
00:11:07,701 --> 00:11:10,902
♪ I learned this recipe
from a little blind man ♪
279
00:11:10,904 --> 00:11:13,371
And now it is my pleasure to introduce
280
00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:15,707
the beating heart of this restaurant.
281
00:11:15,709 --> 00:11:18,643
His name is on the front for a reason...
282
00:11:18,645 --> 00:11:20,244
Julius!
283
00:11:20,246 --> 00:11:22,847
'Scuse me. Sorry, did not rehearse this.
284
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:24,182
- [THUDDING, CLATTERING]
- Whoa! [CHUCKLES]
285
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:25,650
Hope someone brought
two figs in a coin-purse
286
00:11:25,652 --> 00:11:27,051
'cause that's what I just felt!
287
00:11:27,053 --> 00:11:29,988
- [GLASS SHATTERING]
- Ow, my shin! Oh, Jesus!
288
00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:32,256
That one stopped me dead in my tracks.
289
00:11:32,258 --> 00:11:33,725
Ah!
290
00:11:33,727 --> 00:11:36,728
Got it. Just give me a second.
291
00:11:36,730 --> 00:11:38,463
Okay, I'm good.
292
00:11:38,465 --> 00:11:40,198
Julius!
293
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,599
[DINERS "AWWS"]
294
00:11:41,601 --> 00:11:43,601
And feel how soft he is!
295
00:11:43,603 --> 00:11:46,671
[JULIUS SNAPPING, DINERS GASPING]
296
00:11:46,673 --> 00:11:50,742
Yay! Three cheers for Julius
and his great restaurant!
297
00:11:50,744 --> 00:11:52,544
- [CHEERING]
- WOMAN: Hooray for Julius!
298
00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:56,348
That's the softest
alligator I've ever felt.
299
00:11:56,350 --> 00:11:57,882
How much would you...
300
00:11:57,884 --> 00:11:59,484
sell him for?
301
00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:00,618
For Julius?!
302
00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:01,686
Never, creep!
303
00:12:01,688 --> 00:12:04,489
Everything has a price.
304
00:12:04,491 --> 00:12:09,427
I would be buying him for
only good purposes, of course.
305
00:12:09,429 --> 00:12:10,962
Hm.
306
00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:13,031
Hey, you're a real weirdo.
307
00:12:13,033 --> 00:12:14,166
Outta here, buddy.
308
00:12:14,168 --> 00:12:16,100
If you change your mind, you can find me
309
00:12:16,102 --> 00:12:20,372
at the big, scary animal-wallet
factory at the edge of town!
310
00:12:20,374 --> 00:12:24,376
- [DOOR SLAMS]
- Now, who's ready for more jambalaya?!
311
00:12:24,378 --> 00:12:26,711
[CHEERING]
312
00:12:26,713 --> 00:12:29,381
Now who's ready for "Avatar 2"?
313
00:12:29,383 --> 00:12:31,049
[CHEERING]
314
00:12:31,051 --> 00:12:32,316
I can't hear you!
315
00:12:32,318 --> 00:12:35,319
This is James [BLEEP] Cameron!
316
00:12:35,321 --> 00:12:39,391
Just like always, all I wanted to do
was cook my vegetables
317
00:12:39,393 --> 00:12:41,526
and now Roger's running a restaurant
318
00:12:41,528 --> 00:12:44,462
out of our living room with
his new pet alligator...
319
00:12:44,464 --> 00:12:45,930
Julius.
320
00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:48,400
God, I'd love to see Roger's face
321
00:12:48,402 --> 00:12:51,069
if something ever
happened to stupid Julius.
322
00:12:51,071 --> 00:12:52,470
[GASPS] That's it!
323
00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:55,006
I'm gonna make something
happen to stupid Julius!
324
00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:57,075
Oh, my God, will you shut up?!
325
00:12:57,077 --> 00:12:59,077
You've been ranting for hours!
326
00:12:59,079 --> 00:13:01,946
I'm not stopping you from
writing your dumb script,
327
00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:02,981
be my guest!
328
00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:05,817
Okay, Steve, it's the climax.
329
00:13:05,819 --> 00:13:07,719
The bad guys still have the kid.
330
00:13:09,223 --> 00:13:11,223
What if the hero skydives in?
331
00:13:11,225 --> 00:13:15,093
The bad guys, stunned by how
beautiful and cool Brevin Docent
332
00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:18,162
played by John Cena is,
simply stand there...
333
00:13:18,164 --> 00:13:20,899
and he mows them all
down with a machine gun.
334
00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:22,500
Holy cow...
335
00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:24,769
They just stare at
him as he shoots them?
336
00:13:24,771 --> 00:13:25,771
That's stupid.
337
00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:27,239
Get her out of here!
338
00:13:27,241 --> 00:13:30,108
- Mom!
- Fine, whatever.
339
00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:31,509
This room sucks!
340
00:13:31,511 --> 00:13:32,911
Your story sucks!
341
00:13:32,913 --> 00:13:35,647
She's a hater, Steve! She's a hater!
342
00:13:35,649 --> 00:13:37,315
[DOOR SLAMS]
343
00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:40,518
But... what if she's right?
344
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:42,720
♪♪
345
00:13:42,722 --> 00:13:45,990
Well, sounds like you'll
be playing basketball again
346
00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:47,092
in no time.
347
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:50,062
Hey! What are you doing telling Bev
348
00:13:50,064 --> 00:13:51,263
your legs are feeling better?
349
00:13:51,265 --> 00:13:52,731
They are. Why wouldn't I?
350
00:13:52,733 --> 00:13:53,932
Because as soon as we're okay,
351
00:13:53,934 --> 00:13:55,333
Bev will kick us out.
352
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,135
And we can't leave until we witness
353
00:13:57,137 --> 00:13:59,071
her vacuum pack her winter clothes.
354
00:13:59,073 --> 00:14:00,539
Your legs are okay?
355
00:14:05,479 --> 00:14:06,878
Don't ruin this for me.
356
00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:08,346
Hey, Bev, you wouldn't happen
357
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,815
to have any homemade salsa, would you?
358
00:14:10,817 --> 00:14:13,552
No, I only make that on Cinco de Mayo.
359
00:14:15,489 --> 00:14:18,556
But... I guess I could make some now.
360
00:14:19,626 --> 00:14:22,494
Also, I was thinking
maybe a little fresh air
361
00:14:22,496 --> 00:14:23,695
would do us good.
362
00:14:23,697 --> 00:14:25,229
I see you have a patio.
363
00:14:25,231 --> 00:14:27,032
Yeah, we can sit out there tonight.
364
00:14:28,102 --> 00:14:32,637
Oh, darn,
I was hoping to watch the Pirates game.
365
00:14:32,639 --> 00:14:35,439
You guys didn't tell me
you were Pirates fans!
366
00:14:35,441 --> 00:14:37,309
I have an iPad we can watch it on.
367
00:14:38,979 --> 00:14:41,045
[CLAPPING]
368
00:14:41,047 --> 00:14:43,047
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
369
00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:45,383
♪ Jambalaya, whoa ♪
370
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:47,519
♪ Look at that hot guy-a ♪
371
00:14:47,521 --> 00:14:48,720
Now it's time to meet
372
00:14:48,722 --> 00:14:50,922
the beating heart of this restaurant.
373
00:14:50,924 --> 00:14:53,725
His name is on the front for a reason...
374
00:14:53,727 --> 00:14:55,127
Julius!
375
00:14:59,465 --> 00:15:00,999
- Feel how soft he...
- [SPLASH]
376
00:15:01,001 --> 00:15:02,567
What the hell?
377
00:15:03,537 --> 00:15:06,738
Jambalaya? But where's Julius?
378
00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:09,474
Someone knock out Rogu.
379
00:15:09,476 --> 00:15:11,275
Almost die.
380
00:15:11,277 --> 00:15:13,345
Julius has been stolen!
381
00:15:14,881 --> 00:15:17,015
It's printing!
We should have just enough time
382
00:15:17,017 --> 00:15:18,350
to get to the bookstore!
383
00:15:18,352 --> 00:15:20,084
So did you guys change your ending?
384
00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:22,086
I swear to God, Francine...
385
00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:23,488
Somebody took Julius!
386
00:15:23,490 --> 00:15:24,622
Julius is missing!
387
00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:27,225
Yo, bro, you got soup on our script!
388
00:15:27,227 --> 00:15:30,162
Soup on your script?! Julius is missing!
389
00:15:30,164 --> 00:15:32,630
Now maybe you know what it feels like
390
00:15:32,632 --> 00:15:35,299
when someone takes
something you care about.
391
00:15:35,301 --> 00:15:38,102
Francine, did you have something to do
392
00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:39,771
with Julius's disappearance?
393
00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:40,973
- Yes!
- [GASPS]
394
00:15:40,975 --> 00:15:43,175
I was gonna throw him in Greg's pool,
395
00:15:43,177 --> 00:15:45,910
but luckily a creepy guy
lurking in our bushes
396
00:15:45,912 --> 00:15:48,046
- offered to do it for me.
- Oh, no!
397
00:15:48,048 --> 00:15:50,648
He's connected to that
animal-wallet factory!
398
00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:52,384
Animal-wallet factory?
399
00:15:52,386 --> 00:15:55,720
Can you guys please take
this anywhere else?!
400
00:15:55,722 --> 00:15:58,523
Where would an animal
even put their wallet?
401
00:15:58,525 --> 00:16:00,959
I mean, a kangaroo I understand.
402
00:16:02,963 --> 00:16:04,963
- ♪♪
- _
403
00:16:04,965 --> 00:16:06,697
FRANCINE: Ohhhh.
404
00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:07,832
Oh, no!
405
00:16:07,834 --> 00:16:09,434
You gotta believe me, Roger.
406
00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:12,303
I didn't know I was
putting Julius in danger.
407
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:13,705
Just forget it, Francine.
408
00:16:13,707 --> 00:16:15,707
All I want right now is
to walk into that building
409
00:16:15,709 --> 00:16:18,509
and walk out with
Julius safely intact...
410
00:16:18,511 --> 00:16:20,779
and a brand-new wallet
made from an animal
411
00:16:20,781 --> 00:16:22,847
I have no emotional attachments to.
412
00:16:22,849 --> 00:16:24,716
Like a famous show dog or something.
413
00:16:24,718 --> 00:16:25,884
I don't know. Come on.
414
00:16:27,053 --> 00:16:29,187
[SHUDDERING] Ohohoho.
415
00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:32,791
He's so soft.
416
00:16:32,793 --> 00:16:34,393
Skin him.
417
00:16:35,596 --> 00:16:37,462
Noooooooooooooo!
418
00:16:37,464 --> 00:16:39,064
Get them!
419
00:16:39,066 --> 00:16:40,531
We need a plan!
420
00:16:40,533 --> 00:16:42,167
I meant to bring that up in the car.
421
00:16:43,804 --> 00:16:46,204
♪♪
422
00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:50,075
In that moment,
Elbow Grease realized it would take more
423
00:16:50,077 --> 00:16:53,344
than all-wheel drive
to get over the bridge.
424
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:54,679
It would take love.
425
00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:57,015
Wait, he writes children's books?
426
00:16:57,017 --> 00:16:59,684
Didn't you say you were slowly
working your way through one?
427
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:01,486
They're good books!
428
00:17:01,488 --> 00:17:04,155
The main guy is a determined truck!
429
00:17:04,157 --> 00:17:07,092
Hell yeah! That's a book, bro!
430
00:17:07,094 --> 00:17:09,227
[CHUCKLES] That's a book!
431
00:17:09,229 --> 00:17:11,096
Come on. We have a script to sell.
432
00:17:11,098 --> 00:17:14,966
And act tough. John Cena can smell fear.
433
00:17:14,968 --> 00:17:17,368
♪♪
434
00:17:17,790 --> 00:17:19,504
Hey, you need to be careful.
435
00:17:19,506 --> 00:17:21,572
Bev seemed a little
unsettled when you asked her
436
00:17:21,574 --> 00:17:23,975
to make the macaroni salad she
made for her aunt's funeral.
437
00:17:23,977 --> 00:17:27,578
I said "would make for
an aunt's funeral."
438
00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:30,449
Alright, a little mac salad.
439
00:17:30,451 --> 00:17:31,916
How bad my Pirates losing?
440
00:17:31,918 --> 00:17:34,719
Excellent,
also any chance we can get a little more
441
00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:37,322
of this amazing, wet, watery salsa?
442
00:17:37,324 --> 00:17:38,723
Sure.
443
00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:41,159
I need to go in and call
my boyfriend Irv, anyway.
444
00:17:42,929 --> 00:17:44,595
[BOTH GROAN]
445
00:17:44,597 --> 00:17:46,531
- Irv...
- She's too good for Irv.
446
00:17:46,533 --> 00:17:48,399
She should date that
guy from her office.
447
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,669
The one she gives the big donut
to every year on his birthday.
448
00:17:50,671 --> 00:17:53,738
- Mark Matthews?
- Mark Matthews! Her work husband!
449
00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:55,940
She's always posting
about how it's not sexual,
450
00:17:55,942 --> 00:17:57,342
but I think they could get there.
451
00:17:57,344 --> 00:18:00,278
How do you know Mark Matthews?
What's going on?
452
00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:03,248
You guys have been saying
lots of weird stuff.
453
00:18:08,555 --> 00:18:12,023
We'll always love you!
Please don't block us!
454
00:18:12,025 --> 00:18:14,425
♪♪
455
00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:17,428
So you figured out we were making drugs.
456
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:20,565
What?! No, honestly,
we were just here for Julius!
457
00:18:20,567 --> 00:18:24,303
So you aren't here to take
down my huge cocaine operation?
458
00:18:25,172 --> 00:18:27,706
FRANCINE: Wow, that's a ton of cocaine.
459
00:18:27,708 --> 00:18:29,640
Well, now you've definitely seen it,
460
00:18:29,642 --> 00:18:31,776
so I still have to kill you.
461
00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:36,781
It's funny, I was just saying
I bet the only thing softer
462
00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:40,519
than an alligator wallet
would be a human one.
463
00:18:40,521 --> 00:18:42,721
And now I get to find out.
464
00:18:42,723 --> 00:18:45,390
♪♪
465
00:18:45,392 --> 00:18:47,992
If you had just let
me cook my vegetables,
466
00:18:47,994 --> 00:18:49,528
none of this would be happening.
467
00:18:49,530 --> 00:18:51,530
But then we never would've met Julius.
468
00:18:51,532 --> 00:18:53,532
Wouldn't you rather die with Julius
469
00:18:53,534 --> 00:18:55,701
- than have never met him?
- No!
470
00:18:57,004 --> 00:19:00,071
Aah! Julius look away!
471
00:19:00,664 --> 00:19:02,541
What the hell is that?
472
00:19:02,543 --> 00:19:04,809
♪♪
473
00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:06,411
[SHUDDERS] Whoa.
474
00:19:06,413 --> 00:19:09,280
His eyes are like two rhinestones...
475
00:19:09,282 --> 00:19:12,551
in a bowl of heavy cream!
476
00:19:12,553 --> 00:19:14,819
♪♪
477
00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:15,887
- Aah!
- Aah!
478
00:19:15,889 --> 00:19:17,088
- Ugh!
- Oh!
479
00:19:17,090 --> 00:19:20,024
[MEN GRUNTING]
480
00:19:20,026 --> 00:19:22,561
♪♪
481
00:19:22,563 --> 00:19:26,298
Whoo! Who thinks
this is stupid now, Francine?
482
00:19:28,014 --> 00:19:30,435
How'd you get John Cena to save us?
483
00:19:30,437 --> 00:19:32,971
He saw the jambalaya stain on our script
484
00:19:32,973 --> 00:19:34,172
and asked how it happened!
485
00:19:34,174 --> 00:19:36,040
Oh, when Stu and Klaude told me
486
00:19:36,042 --> 00:19:38,377
you had a missing alligator,
I had to help.
487
00:19:38,379 --> 00:19:40,711
See, I once had a pet alligator.
488
00:19:40,713 --> 00:19:44,241
Well, actually...
he was more of a best friend.
489
00:19:44,276 --> 00:19:46,651
But I lost him while
scouting a shrimp factory
490
00:19:46,653 --> 00:19:48,787
for a new Elbow Grease book.
491
00:19:48,789 --> 00:19:49,988
Wait...
492
00:19:49,990 --> 00:19:51,390
Julius?!
493
00:19:51,392 --> 00:19:53,324
[JULIUS SQUAWKS]
494
00:19:53,326 --> 00:19:56,261
[LAUGHS] It really is you!
495
00:19:56,263 --> 00:19:59,330
Wait a second. He was your alligator?!
496
00:19:59,332 --> 00:20:01,600
And we both named him Julius?
497
00:20:01,602 --> 00:20:06,071
[LAUGHS] I guess he does
just look like a Julius.
498
00:20:06,073 --> 00:20:08,607
God, I miss Julius!
499
00:20:08,609 --> 00:20:12,411
Man, it really hurts when you
lose something you care about.
500
00:20:12,413 --> 00:20:14,745
It's almost like you and your garden.
501
00:20:14,747 --> 00:20:17,548
Actually, it's exactly like that.
502
00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:21,019
Francine,
I think I just learned a lesson.
503
00:20:21,021 --> 00:20:22,887
I know I learned one. Trying too...
504
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:26,625
Oh, look! The trailer for Julius
and John Cena's new movie is up!
505
00:20:26,627 --> 00:20:29,894
They stole the idea from Steve
and Klaus. Isn't that funny?
506
00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:31,630
ANNOUNCER: He's a nuclear physicist
507
00:20:31,632 --> 00:20:33,231
you'd wanna get a beer with...
508
00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:36,968
and he's an alligator
you wanna have sex with.
509
00:20:36,970 --> 00:20:40,639
And together they're bad
news for the bad guys.
510
00:20:40,641 --> 00:20:43,774
This fall, John Cena is Brevin Docent...
511
00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:46,845
and introducing Julius as... Julius.
512
00:20:46,847 --> 00:20:49,380
Two geniuses from different genuses.
513
00:20:49,382 --> 00:20:53,918
You're gonna wanna [BLEEP]
this dude and this alligator!
514
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:55,253
- [GUNSHOTS]
- _
515
00:20:55,255 --> 00:20:57,989
Directed by James [BLEEP] Cameron.
516
00:20:57,991 --> 00:20:59,891
Bye! Have a beautiful time!
517
00:21:01,807 --> 00:21:03,578
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
37255
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