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1
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♪♪
2
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[THUD]
3
00:00:05,805 --> 00:00:06,871
- Hey!
- Whoa, man!
4
00:00:06,873 --> 00:00:08,673
I think I have that disorder
5
00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:11,008
where you fall asleep after
you stay up all night.
6
00:00:11,010 --> 00:00:13,277
That's not a disorder,
that's called exhaustion.
7
00:00:13,279 --> 00:00:14,612
What were you doing up all night?
8
00:00:14,614 --> 00:00:16,080
Mrs. S asked me to prep
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00:00:16,082 --> 00:00:18,683
the chilaquiles, enchiladas suizas,
10
00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:21,019
and huevos motuleños for breakfast.
11
00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:23,287
You made this?
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00:00:23,289 --> 00:00:24,556
The way you say the names
13
00:00:24,558 --> 00:00:26,290
of this traditional Mexican breakfast
14
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sounds different from mom's,
15
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but tastes exactly like it.
16
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My secret?
17
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I always have Jeff make it.
18
00:00:32,298 --> 00:00:33,698
Another secret?
19
00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:37,369
"Huevos" is Spanish for eggs and balls!
20
00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:38,970
Jeff, you shouldn't be staying up
21
00:00:38,972 --> 00:00:40,705
all night doing chores for my mom.
22
00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:42,974
Especially before we
celebrate our anniversary!
23
00:00:42,976 --> 00:00:44,442
Our wedding's birthday!
24
00:00:44,444 --> 00:00:46,778
Sure. So let's be well-rested
25
00:00:46,780 --> 00:00:49,247
for our wedding birthday
dinner tomorrow.
26
00:00:49,249 --> 00:00:51,783
And for the festivities after.
27
00:00:51,785 --> 00:00:54,586
It's our weird sex stuff birthday, too.
28
00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:56,520
Not to me, Jeff. Okay!
29
00:00:56,522 --> 00:00:58,656
I've just finished designing my costume
30
00:00:58,658 --> 00:01:00,658
for the CIA costume party.
31
00:01:00,660 --> 00:01:02,627
And this is how I'll be going!
32
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I don't know what I'm looking at.
33
00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:08,400
You're looking at Chicken Baby.
34
00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:09,402
Chicken Baby!
35
00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:10,668
Dad, I don't think anyone
36
00:01:10,670 --> 00:01:13,337
at the CIA is going to
understand your costume.
37
00:01:13,339 --> 00:01:14,939
Chicken Baby is...
38
00:01:14,941 --> 00:01:16,808
- not a thing.
- "Nothing is a thing
39
00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:19,143
until it happens for the first time."
40
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Do you know who said that, Steve?
41
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Chicken Baby.
42
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Welcome aboard, Steve.
43
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[THUD, SNORING]
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♪♪
45
00:01:27,687 --> 00:01:30,734
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
46
00:01:30,769 --> 00:01:34,025
♪ I got a feelin'
that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
47
00:01:34,027 --> 00:01:37,229
♪ The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face ♪
48
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♪ And he's shinin'
a salute to the American race ♪
49
00:01:43,570 --> 00:01:46,905
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
50
00:01:46,907 --> 00:01:49,241
- ♪ Good... ♪
- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
51
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Aah!
52
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♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
53
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:57,782
♪♪
54
00:01:57,784 --> 00:01:59,918
Jeff, we're gonna be late
for our dinner reservation!
55
00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:02,888
Well, hello miss unobstructed forehead!
56
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:06,458
And who's this persona?
57
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:09,661
Oh, this is no persona,
this is an homage.
58
00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:12,464
To my favorite man, Tony Mendez.
59
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:14,666
Was he... one of those two brothers
60
00:02:14,668 --> 00:02:15,867
who killed their parents?
61
00:02:15,869 --> 00:02:18,270
No, those were the Menendez brothers.
62
00:02:18,272 --> 00:02:19,871
Both way hotter than this guy.
63
00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:23,141
Tony Mendez is who Ben Affleck
played in "Argo"...
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00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:27,612
1979, dude made a fake movie
to fly hostages out of Iran.
65
00:02:27,614 --> 00:02:30,148
And planes didn't even
exist before that!
66
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:32,684
Tony Mendez made the first airplane!
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That... isn't true.
68
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Ah, you got me. Just trying a lie.
69
00:02:37,023 --> 00:02:38,690
Anyhoo, I'm celebrating the opening
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of an Argo museum in Fargo,
north Dakota.
71
00:02:41,962 --> 00:02:44,496
Apparently,
they tried to put it in Argo, Alabama,
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but there was already a museum
73
00:02:45,765 --> 00:02:47,431
dedicated to the movie "Fargo" there.
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00:02:47,433 --> 00:02:49,167
Jeff, get down here!
75
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:51,503
I can't hear any more about Tony Mendez!
76
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:54,306
He was a scorpio and he hated mushrooms.
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00:02:54,308 --> 00:02:55,707
- One sec, babe.
- ♪ Let me see that thong ♪
78
00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:57,175
I just need to finish recording
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00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:58,843
this song off the radio.
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00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:01,980
It's the last song I need for
Klaus's mixtape for Danuta.
81
00:03:01,982 --> 00:03:03,247
- ♪ Thong, thong... ♪
- [STOPS PLAYBACK]
82
00:03:03,249 --> 00:03:05,249
Now you're doing favors for Klaus?!
83
00:03:05,251 --> 00:03:07,986
I believe "favors"
means they'll be returned.
84
00:03:07,988 --> 00:03:10,588
- I get nothing!
- Oh, my God, babe.
85
00:03:10,590 --> 00:03:12,590
You are such a people-pleaser!
86
00:03:12,592 --> 00:03:14,458
- Thank you.
- It's not a compliment.
87
00:03:14,460 --> 00:03:15,793
- It's really not.
- Roger!
88
00:03:15,795 --> 00:03:18,330
Alright, consider me... Gone, Girl!
89
00:03:18,332 --> 00:03:20,532
Another great Ben Affleck film.
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00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:23,801
If you excuse me, I'm off to the town.
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00:03:23,803 --> 00:03:26,538
To bang some mallrats.
92
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,873
Jeff, you gotta learn how to say no!
93
00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:31,743
I told Klaus I was celebrating with you,
94
00:03:31,745 --> 00:03:33,277
but he said making the mixtape
95
00:03:33,279 --> 00:03:35,279
was the most important
thing in the world to him
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00:03:35,281 --> 00:03:38,816
but he didn't feel like doing
it himself because it's boring.
97
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I couldn't say no!
What if he got mad at me?!
98
00:03:41,087 --> 00:03:43,488
Who cares if Klaus gets mad at you?
99
00:03:43,490 --> 00:03:46,558
But when someone's mad at me,
I get so anxious!
100
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,092
Look, bottom line:
101
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You need to do what you want,
102
00:03:50,164 --> 00:03:52,030
not what other people want you to do.
103
00:03:52,032 --> 00:03:53,565
Alright, that won't be hard.
104
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,500
Great! Now put on this shirt for dinner.
105
00:03:55,502 --> 00:03:57,635
You know you're not supposed
to choose your own clothes.
106
00:03:57,637 --> 00:03:59,171
You got it, babe!
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♪♪
108
00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:04,642
Finally, I get you all to myself.
109
00:04:04,644 --> 00:04:07,779
Nobody coming around,
being like "duh, Jeff,
110
00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:09,581
chew my food, wipe my butt."
111
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:11,783
[LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY]
112
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Oh, no, your shirt!
113
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Whoops!
114
00:04:14,388 --> 00:04:16,188
It's just, when you do voices,
115
00:04:16,190 --> 00:04:17,789
they're spot-on!
116
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But who are they?
117
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[SLOSHING]
118
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Hey!
119
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You look like me!
120
00:04:26,132 --> 00:04:27,265
No, I don't.
121
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:29,133
I look like Jonathan Taylor Thomas!
122
00:04:29,135 --> 00:04:31,603
And I thought the manager said
we couldn't do our laundry here.
123
00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:36,274
Hey, new guy! I said no laundry!
124
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:37,675
Me? I don't...
125
00:04:37,677 --> 00:04:38,743
I just spilled on my...
126
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You spilled on your shirt,
127
00:04:40,013 --> 00:04:41,413
and now you're doing laundry
128
00:04:41,415 --> 00:04:43,014
like I asked you not to!
129
00:04:43,016 --> 00:04:44,282
Well, yeah, but...
130
00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:46,484
Are you trying to make me mad?
131
00:04:46,486 --> 00:04:48,019
Are you not mad already?
132
00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:51,489
Get back in the kitchen
or I'll be really mad!
133
00:04:51,491 --> 00:04:52,891
Okay, boss!
134
00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:54,759
Hey! What's that sloshing?!
135
00:04:54,761 --> 00:04:57,495
You better not be an employee
doing laundry in there!
136
00:04:57,497 --> 00:05:01,299
Uh... nope!
Just a horny customer jerking off!
137
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:02,767
Very good, sir.
138
00:05:02,769 --> 00:05:05,103
Thank you choosing Mama Mangia's.
139
00:05:06,906 --> 00:05:08,339
♪♪
140
00:05:08,341 --> 00:05:09,807
[CLEARS THROAT]
141
00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:10,942
Whoa!
142
00:05:10,944 --> 00:05:12,878
Look at that hot-ass dad
143
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- wearing the...
- Did somebody say
144
00:05:14,281 --> 00:05:17,148
"hot-ass dad wearing
the perfect costume"?
145
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,150
Stan, you stepped on my line.
146
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:20,552
Take it from the top.
147
00:05:21,621 --> 00:05:23,354
- Did someone say...
- Stan!
148
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You're not giving me time to say it!
149
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:26,357
You know what? Forget it.
150
00:05:26,359 --> 00:05:27,692
This is just for Steve's benefit.
151
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My benefit?
152
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Huh-ho!
153
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Wow!
154
00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:33,231
What am I lookin' at?!
155
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Right? Right?
156
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Chicken Baby in the flesh.
157
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Did I nail it or what?!
158
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[SNIFFS] And instead of milk,
159
00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:43,441
Kool-Aid and... Everclear?
160
00:05:43,443 --> 00:05:44,776
Nothing but the best
for the best-dressed,
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00:05:44,778 --> 00:05:46,578
no-stress, feeling young and blessed.
162
00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:48,246
Dad, I'm worried
you're gonna spend all night
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explaining your costume.
164
00:05:49,917 --> 00:05:51,849
Oh, okay, I see:
165
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You're jealous.
166
00:05:53,253 --> 00:05:54,652
Aw, it's so sad.
167
00:05:54,654 --> 00:05:56,721
But I forgive you,
because as everyone knows,
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Chicken Baby has a big
heart full of forgiveness.
169
00:06:00,928 --> 00:06:02,561
So go [BLEEP] yourself.
170
00:06:04,264 --> 00:06:06,264
[MUSIC THUMPING, GUESTS CHEERING]
171
00:06:06,998 --> 00:06:09,734
And there's Stiles as a werewolf!
172
00:06:09,736 --> 00:06:11,669
Better check your moon schedule
173
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before you go camping with this guy!
174
00:06:13,941 --> 00:06:16,073
And look, Dick's a scarecrow!
175
00:06:16,075 --> 00:06:19,010
Wouldn't hurt to check your
moon schedule about him too.
176
00:06:19,012 --> 00:06:22,814
In fact, it's startin'
to seem like these moon schedule
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party favors aren't as stupid
as people first thought!
178
00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:28,820
[RECORD SCRATCH]
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Bloody hell, Smith!
180
00:06:30,423 --> 00:06:31,689
What are you?!
181
00:06:31,691 --> 00:06:33,024
Probably should have checked
182
00:06:33,026 --> 00:06:34,292
your moon schedule
183
00:06:34,294 --> 00:06:36,494
before you chose that getup!
184
00:06:36,496 --> 00:06:37,763
[LAUGHTER]
185
00:06:38,354 --> 00:06:42,500
These 2017 moon schedules, right?!
186
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Indispensable!
187
00:06:44,371 --> 00:06:46,638
[SLOSHING]
188
00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:48,640
The manager's a real tyrant, huh?
189
00:06:48,642 --> 00:06:52,109
Tell me about it,
he's making me work on my anniversary.
190
00:06:52,111 --> 00:06:54,245
- HAYLEY: Jeff!
- Customer in the kitchen!
191
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:55,580
Hide!
192
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:56,714
What are you doing?!
193
00:06:56,716 --> 00:06:58,316
You left me alone so long
194
00:06:58,318 --> 00:07:01,052
I watched "The Irishman"
in its entirety on my phone!
195
00:07:01,054 --> 00:07:02,320
I'm so sorry, babe!
196
00:07:02,322 --> 00:07:04,789
The manager asked me to wash dishes,
197
00:07:04,791 --> 00:07:07,925
and then something came up
with, um, with...
198
00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:09,060
Jane's babysitter.
199
00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:11,929
Jane. So she asked me to cover for her.
200
00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:14,065
And I didn't know she
was working a double!
201
00:07:14,067 --> 00:07:16,435
Jeff, table, now.
202
00:07:17,204 --> 00:07:19,604
Hey, if I don't see you again,
203
00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:21,139
I just wanted to say,
204
00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:23,341
thanks for telling me
about all the girls
205
00:07:23,343 --> 00:07:25,476
you banged at Christian camp.
206
00:07:25,478 --> 00:07:27,679
Do you understand what I'm saying, Jeff?
207
00:07:27,681 --> 00:07:30,415
[GROANS] Have you said all the parts?
208
00:07:30,417 --> 00:07:31,816
- Get back in the kitchen!
- Okay.
209
00:07:31,818 --> 00:07:33,819
- Jeff! Sit down!
- Okay.
210
00:07:33,821 --> 00:07:35,487
It's happening!
211
00:07:35,489 --> 00:07:38,556
I'm getting angry!
212
00:07:38,558 --> 00:07:41,693
Aah! Jeff doesn't work here, you moron!
213
00:07:41,695 --> 00:07:44,362
He's just a people-pleaser
who can't say no!
214
00:07:44,364 --> 00:07:46,297
My bad! Thank you for choosing
215
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:47,899
Mama Mangia's!
216
00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:49,367
[SMASHES]
217
00:07:49,369 --> 00:07:52,503
Jeff! You gotta stop doing
what everyone else wants.
218
00:07:52,505 --> 00:07:54,840
You're not just a monkey taking orders.
219
00:07:54,842 --> 00:07:57,975
But I like doing what
makes other people happy.
220
00:07:57,977 --> 00:08:00,311
That's my reason for doing anything.
221
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:01,779
Plus, I like monkeys!
222
00:08:01,781 --> 00:08:02,781
What about tonight?
223
00:08:02,782 --> 00:08:05,050
Our "wedding's birthday"?
224
00:08:05,052 --> 00:08:06,052
Did you want this?
225
00:08:06,053 --> 00:08:08,186
Well, you asked me to marry you!
226
00:08:08,188 --> 00:08:09,454
I what.
227
00:08:09,456 --> 00:08:11,522
You proposed to me.
228
00:08:11,524 --> 00:08:12,790
I thought you wanted...
229
00:08:12,792 --> 00:08:14,459
I was talking about where we're eating,
230
00:08:14,461 --> 00:08:16,994
not our whole [BLEEP] marriage!
231
00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:18,996
Oh-ho, good.
232
00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:19,998
Whew.
233
00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:21,066
The restaurant?
234
00:08:21,068 --> 00:08:22,200
No.
235
00:08:22,202 --> 00:08:23,601
Mmm... no.
236
00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:25,737
I can't believe you only married me
237
00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:27,706
because I asked you to.
238
00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:30,876
Babe, wait!
239
00:08:30,878 --> 00:08:32,143
Could you keep it down, please?!
240
00:08:32,145 --> 00:08:34,713
I'm jerking off really hard right now.
241
00:08:36,883 --> 00:08:38,349
♪♪
242
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,084
Oh, hey, Jeff.
243
00:08:40,086 --> 00:08:41,286
What's up, sad-ass?
244
00:08:41,288 --> 00:08:42,887
I messed up.
245
00:08:42,889 --> 00:08:44,423
And now Hayley's worried
246
00:08:44,425 --> 00:08:46,757
I just married her
because she wanted me to.
247
00:08:46,759 --> 00:08:48,627
But that's what happened, right?
248
00:08:48,629 --> 00:08:49,760
Yeah...
249
00:08:49,762 --> 00:08:52,763
But I also married her
because I wanted me to.
250
00:08:52,765 --> 00:08:54,365
I love Babe.
251
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:56,501
She called me a people pleaser.
252
00:08:56,503 --> 00:08:58,437
Which turns out is a bad thing!
253
00:08:58,439 --> 00:09:00,905
Whoa, bad things are harsh.
254
00:09:00,907 --> 00:09:02,907
Hey, could you give me
a hand plucking these
255
00:09:02,909 --> 00:09:04,709
strawberry seeds out of my toothbrushes?
256
00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:07,111
My fingers are sore from piano lessons.
257
00:09:07,113 --> 00:09:09,648
Sounds like you have to show
Hayley you're capable of making
258
00:09:09,650 --> 00:09:11,650
a self-motivated decision.
259
00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:13,251
- Is that what I gotta do?
- Yes.
260
00:09:13,253 --> 00:09:16,387
And you can do that by
choosing to do something no one
261
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:18,122
in the world would want to do but you.
262
00:09:18,124 --> 00:09:20,125
My heart's desire!
263
00:09:20,127 --> 00:09:21,526
Yes!
264
00:09:21,528 --> 00:09:22,661
But what is that?
265
00:09:22,663 --> 00:09:24,996
I can't tell you that, Jeff.
266
00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:26,264
But this little bag can.
267
00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:28,266
- Is that drugs?
- Yes.
268
00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:31,336
I love when drugs are the solution!
269
00:09:34,474 --> 00:09:36,575
Your costume is a failure.
270
00:09:37,610 --> 00:09:40,945
You're a big, stupid idiot, Stan.
271
00:09:40,947 --> 00:09:43,948
Time to tear up this
Mensa membership card.
272
00:09:43,950 --> 00:09:45,684
Men's spa?!
273
00:09:45,686 --> 00:09:48,887
Oh, that's why no one
wanted to do anagrams
274
00:09:48,889 --> 00:09:50,722
with me in the steam room.
275
00:09:52,493 --> 00:09:54,825
[GROANING, SMACK, THUD]
276
00:09:54,827 --> 00:09:57,228
MAN: Whoa, it's Chicken Baby!
277
00:09:57,230 --> 00:09:58,296
Great costume!
278
00:09:58,298 --> 00:09:59,765
Who said thaaaaa...
279
00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:03,502
[CHIMES]
280
00:10:03,504 --> 00:10:05,904
My name is Shaman Randy,
281
00:10:05,906 --> 00:10:08,707
you may know me as the
part-time lifeguard at the Y.
282
00:10:08,709 --> 00:10:11,042
I was full-time but they cut my hours.
283
00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:13,845
Guess they don't care if
kids drown from 7 to 9.
284
00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:18,717
This is Mother Ayahuasca.
285
00:10:18,719 --> 00:10:22,320
And on today's journey she will
show you your heart's desire.
286
00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:25,323
And mess you up real good.
287
00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:27,325
Ayahuasca's so powerful,
288
00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:29,060
it costs ten whole dollars
289
00:10:29,062 --> 00:10:32,330
for a container this big at Whole Foods.
290
00:10:32,332 --> 00:10:35,266
Tuttle's confusing Ayahuasca
with açaí berries
291
00:10:35,268 --> 00:10:36,467
I'm not correcting him.
292
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:37,802
Now Ayahuasca can make you
293
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:39,604
feel a little like vomiting.
294
00:10:39,606 --> 00:10:41,872
But as the Dalai Lama famously said,
295
00:10:41,874 --> 00:10:44,342
"the more you throw up,
the more you grow up."
296
00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:47,212
And then he famously threw up.
297
00:10:47,214 --> 00:10:48,480
Namaste.
298
00:10:50,016 --> 00:10:51,416
Shaman Randy?
299
00:10:51,418 --> 00:10:53,218
Please, call me Shaman Randy.
300
00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:55,153
When will it kick in?
301
00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:56,421
I don't feel any...
302
00:10:56,423 --> 00:10:59,424
differreeennnt...
303
00:10:59,426 --> 00:11:03,228
♪♪
304
00:11:03,230 --> 00:11:04,695
♪ Quando o coracao para ♪
305
00:11:04,697 --> 00:11:06,697
Make my chilaquiles, bitch!
306
00:11:06,699 --> 00:11:10,301
♪ A eternidade começa ♪
307
00:11:10,303 --> 00:11:11,436
Aah! Oooh-ooh!
308
00:11:11,438 --> 00:11:13,772
Mix tape! "Thong song"!
309
00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:17,642
♪ Quando o ritmo cessa ♪
310
00:11:17,644 --> 00:11:22,313
♪ an be ta anga yalahoula ♪
311
00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:25,516
♪ kiléganfai yalahoula ♪
312
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:27,051
♪ an be ta anga koumahoula ♪
313
00:11:27,053 --> 00:11:28,186
Ooh-ooh! Shave me!
314
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:29,788
Shave my monkey balls!
315
00:11:29,790 --> 00:11:31,389
I'm supposed to be Chicken Baby!
316
00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:32,457
Everybody knows!
317
00:11:32,459 --> 00:11:35,526
♪ An be ta anga baro la ♪
318
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:36,995
Moon schedules!
319
00:11:36,997 --> 00:11:38,329
Get your indispensable
320
00:11:38,331 --> 00:11:39,998
moon schedules!
321
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:41,532
Aah!
322
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:46,271
♪♪
323
00:11:46,273 --> 00:11:47,738
[TIRES SQUEAL]
324
00:11:47,740 --> 00:11:50,541
I know what I want! I know what I want!
325
00:11:51,420 --> 00:11:54,012
I know what I wanna do!
326
00:11:54,014 --> 00:11:55,280
[RETCHING]
327
00:11:55,282 --> 00:11:57,081
Yes, yes, that's quite common.
328
00:11:57,083 --> 00:11:58,817
More have to than want to.
329
00:11:58,819 --> 00:12:02,753
No, I know how to show Hayley
I'm capable of doing things
330
00:12:02,755 --> 00:12:04,689
just because I want to do them.
331
00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:07,025
I'm gonna drive a plane
332
00:12:07,027 --> 00:12:08,693
across America!
333
00:12:08,695 --> 00:12:11,430
Wow! I need you to wipe
your mouth immediately.
334
00:12:11,432 --> 00:12:13,564
And you don't mean "fly" a plane?
335
00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:17,235
No. My license is for driving.
336
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:19,638
I'm going to taxi across the country,
337
00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:21,706
right back into Hayley's heart.
338
00:12:21,708 --> 00:12:22,907
Well, I gotta hand it to you.
339
00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:24,643
That's certainly something no one else
340
00:12:24,645 --> 00:12:27,979
in the history of time
has ever wanted to do.
341
00:12:27,981 --> 00:12:29,314
But there's just the small matter
342
00:12:29,316 --> 00:12:30,715
of where to get a plane...
343
00:12:30,717 --> 00:12:32,717
They have a ton of them at the airport.
344
00:12:32,719 --> 00:12:34,919
You know what,
I could give ya my old plane.
345
00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:37,121
It's just been sitting gathering dust.
346
00:12:37,123 --> 00:12:38,123
Really?
347
00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:39,524
If Jeff gets a plane,
348
00:12:39,526 --> 00:12:41,926
can I get an amen?!
349
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:43,794
- Amen!
- Amen!
350
00:12:43,796 --> 00:12:45,464
[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER]
351
00:12:45,466 --> 00:12:47,332
[WHEELS CLATTERING]
352
00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:49,067
Wait, stop, stop!
353
00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:51,069
It's okay, sir,
you hit your head pretty hard,
354
00:12:51,071 --> 00:12:52,403
but you're gonna be fine.
355
00:12:52,405 --> 00:12:53,938
No! No I'm not!
356
00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:56,407
My son... he thinks so little of me.
357
00:12:56,409 --> 00:12:58,142
Well, that's pretty common.
358
00:12:58,144 --> 00:13:01,346
No, somebody recognized my costume!
359
00:13:01,348 --> 00:13:02,813
It wasn't us...
360
00:13:02,815 --> 00:13:04,683
But there was a guy in here!
361
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:06,951
[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC]
362
00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:08,219
A shoe!
363
00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:10,555
Whoever was in that
stall got my costume,
364
00:13:10,557 --> 00:13:12,357
and when he ran out to
share the good news,
365
00:13:12,359 --> 00:13:13,391
he lost his shoe.
366
00:13:13,393 --> 00:13:15,159
He's my Cinderella!
367
00:13:15,161 --> 00:13:17,896
No one's leaving this
party until I find him.
368
00:13:17,898 --> 00:13:21,366
When it's a man you say
Cinderfella, you bigot!
369
00:13:21,368 --> 00:13:23,768
♪♪
370
00:13:24,122 --> 00:13:26,577
Hayley, did you hide my driving cane?
371
00:13:26,612 --> 00:13:28,373
I'll hide it up your ass if
you don't get out of here.
372
00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:30,641
- [GASPS]
- I'm sorry, Klaus.
373
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:32,377
I... I don't even know if my husband
374
00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:33,778
wanted to marry me.
375
00:13:33,780 --> 00:13:34,979
Wow!
376
00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:37,582
I'm touched you would
open up to me about this.
377
00:13:37,584 --> 00:13:40,118
And fortunately, I have some advice
378
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:43,454
- that'll solve...
- [JET ENGINE ROARING]
379
00:13:43,456 --> 00:13:44,723
What the hell?!
380
00:13:44,725 --> 00:13:47,125
[ENGINES IDLING]
381
00:13:48,118 --> 00:13:50,729
Well, babe, I guess it's pretty obvious
382
00:13:50,731 --> 00:13:51,930
what this means!
383
00:13:51,932 --> 00:13:53,932
No! Not even a little bit!
384
00:13:53,934 --> 00:13:57,268
I'm driving this thing to north Dakota
385
00:13:57,270 --> 00:14:02,140
to remove any doubt about the
sincerity of my wedding vows.
386
00:14:02,142 --> 00:14:05,810
That sounds kind of unnecessary
bordering on stupid!
387
00:14:05,812 --> 00:14:07,878
I'm glad you think so!
388
00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:11,416
'Cause that proves I'm doing it for me!
389
00:14:11,418 --> 00:14:13,552
- [HONKING]
- Whoa!
390
00:14:13,554 --> 00:14:15,954
Wonder where he's going in such a hurry.
391
00:14:15,956 --> 00:14:18,289
I'm flying this car to Fort Lauderdale
392
00:14:18,291 --> 00:14:21,226
to prove to my wife I love her.
393
00:14:21,228 --> 00:14:22,360
That's sweet.
394
00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:24,295
[ENGINE ROARING]
395
00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:25,830
[CRASH, EXPLOSION]
396
00:14:25,832 --> 00:14:28,867
JEFF: His wife is gonna be so happy.
397
00:14:32,272 --> 00:14:34,739
So I don't know if my
marriage is even real.
398
00:14:34,741 --> 00:14:36,741
Of course Jeff said "I do,"
399
00:14:36,743 --> 00:14:38,343
but he never says no to anything!
400
00:14:38,345 --> 00:14:40,945
Oh, totally!
I dared him to kiss a bat...
401
00:14:40,947 --> 00:14:42,013
and he did!
402
00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:47,018
He also mounted our TV and
hung the picture frames
403
00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:49,287
and got rid of the dead bat in
the back of the refrigerator.
404
00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:50,621
This bat's dead?
405
00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:52,557
[CHUCKLES] No, that's a different bat.
406
00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:53,758
Our other bat.
407
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,159
Look, what I'm trying to say is,
408
00:14:55,161 --> 00:14:56,961
I don't even know if Jeff loves me.
409
00:14:56,963 --> 00:14:58,563
Because of the bat?
410
00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:00,565
- No.
- Of course he loves you.
411
00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:02,501
He won't shut up about you!
412
00:15:02,503 --> 00:15:05,036
Oh my God, Nerf, check out this bat.
413
00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:06,971
Is he freaking gorgeous or what?
414
00:15:06,973 --> 00:15:09,040
Oh, my God, get it!
415
00:15:09,042 --> 00:15:11,576
He's $6,000 though...
416
00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:12,844
Screw it, I'm getting it.
417
00:15:12,846 --> 00:15:14,779
- I got it. It's done.
- Wait, guys!
418
00:15:14,781 --> 00:15:16,581
What do you mean Jeff
won't shut up about me?
419
00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:17,982
Do you guys talk to him a lot?
420
00:15:17,984 --> 00:15:20,118
Yeah, mostly when he's trimming my bush.
421
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:21,520
He always makes it about you.
422
00:15:21,522 --> 00:15:23,121
When he whats your what now?!
423
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:26,791
Oh, my God!
424
00:15:26,793 --> 00:15:28,793
Look, Jeff's always gonna be
425
00:15:28,795 --> 00:15:30,995
a people pleaser, that's just who he is.
426
00:15:30,997 --> 00:15:33,598
But if you don't realize he loves you,
427
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:36,467
- you are batshit crazy.
- Hey, look!
428
00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:39,070
Someone's driving a big
metal bat on the highway!
429
00:15:39,072 --> 00:15:41,406
For those of you who
just unmuted your TVs,
430
00:15:41,408 --> 00:15:44,543
yes, someone's driving
a plane down the road,
431
00:15:44,545 --> 00:15:46,344
causing incredible damage.
432
00:15:46,346 --> 00:15:48,813
Eye witnesses say it even
tore through a Foot Locker,
433
00:15:48,815 --> 00:15:52,883
exposing that they do, in fact,
have your size in the back.
434
00:15:52,885 --> 00:15:54,485
Now let's throw it over to Memphis,
435
00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:56,888
who, like the plane,
is down on the ground.
436
00:15:56,890 --> 00:15:58,289
MEMPHIS: Y'hate to see it, Greg.
437
00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:01,960
Six adult bookstores,
completely decimated.
438
00:16:01,962 --> 00:16:03,962
What was once the heartbeat of Langley,
439
00:16:03,964 --> 00:16:08,099
affectionately known as Skin Alley,
is now no more.
440
00:16:08,101 --> 00:16:10,969
And now I'm standing next
to a man who seems to think
441
00:16:10,971 --> 00:16:13,371
I'm going to interview him, but I'm not.
442
00:16:13,373 --> 00:16:15,107
Back to you!
443
00:16:15,776 --> 00:16:17,842
[METAL CRASHING, CLANKING]
444
00:16:18,465 --> 00:16:19,911
This just feels good!
445
00:16:19,913 --> 00:16:21,712
I'm following my heart,
446
00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:24,048
showing Babe that what we have is real.
447
00:16:24,050 --> 00:16:26,717
[CHUCKLING] And I'm in the middle of
448
00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:29,320
a knife fight with Jesus.
449
00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:30,521
[RINGTONE PLAYING]
450
00:16:30,523 --> 00:16:31,923
It's Babe!
451
00:16:31,925 --> 00:16:33,592
Wait, this isn't safe.
452
00:16:33,594 --> 00:16:35,393
I should be in airplane mode.
453
00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:36,661
[RINGING STOPS]
454
00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:39,598
I'm switching to airplane mode, too.
455
00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:41,933
I'm dying!
456
00:16:43,604 --> 00:16:44,936
That's everybody's shoes?
457
00:16:44,938 --> 00:16:46,405
Yeah, Stan, you did it.
458
00:16:46,407 --> 00:16:48,273
No one is wearing shoes.
459
00:16:48,275 --> 00:16:51,009
I don't like that tone,
Dick, I'm not being stupid.
460
00:16:51,011 --> 00:16:52,811
I'm looking for my
Cinderella shoe match.
461
00:16:52,813 --> 00:16:55,480
Where are the hostage negotiators?
462
00:16:55,482 --> 00:16:56,547
Over there.
463
00:16:56,549 --> 00:16:58,149
Why aren't we using them?
464
00:16:58,151 --> 00:17:00,084
Cuz they blew out their voices singing
465
00:17:00,086 --> 00:17:02,220
"Livin' on a Prayer"
in the karaoke room.
466
00:17:02,222 --> 00:17:03,955
That was them?!
467
00:17:03,957 --> 00:17:05,089
It was worth it.
468
00:17:05,091 --> 00:17:06,891
But we've contacted Smith's family
469
00:17:06,893 --> 00:17:08,860
and someone's coming to talk him down.
470
00:17:10,964 --> 00:17:12,897
Oh, boy. Dad?
471
00:17:12,899 --> 00:17:14,633
Is everything okay?
472
00:17:14,635 --> 00:17:15,635
Oh yeah.
473
00:17:15,636 --> 00:17:17,568
Better than okay, Steve.
474
00:17:17,570 --> 00:17:18,970
Contrary to what you thought,
475
00:17:18,972 --> 00:17:21,172
someone recognized my costume.
476
00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:23,308
And the... [NERVOUS CHUCKLE]
477
00:17:23,310 --> 00:17:25,576
the shoes are for what, Dad?
478
00:17:25,578 --> 00:17:27,312
I'm looking for my Cinderella...
479
00:17:27,314 --> 00:17:30,315
The man who recognized my
costume left a shoe behind.
480
00:17:30,317 --> 00:17:32,383
Couldn't you have just looked
for the person with one shoe?
481
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:35,520
Millennials, always taking the easy way.
482
00:17:35,522 --> 00:17:36,787
And you...
483
00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:39,858
you're only wearing one shoe, Dad.
484
00:17:39,860 --> 00:17:42,027
[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC]
485
00:17:45,932 --> 00:17:49,133
So your Cinderella is...
486
00:17:49,135 --> 00:17:52,537
Me. So that must mean
my subconscious told me
487
00:17:52,539 --> 00:17:55,807
how kickass my costume
was before I passed out.
488
00:17:55,809 --> 00:17:57,676
I guess I should feel lucky to have
489
00:17:57,678 --> 00:17:59,544
such a supportive subconscious.
490
00:17:59,546 --> 00:18:00,745
Great, Dad.
491
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:02,480
So can everybody go home
492
00:18:02,482 --> 00:18:03,614
to their families then?
493
00:18:03,616 --> 00:18:05,550
Not quite yet, Steve.
494
00:18:05,552 --> 00:18:08,219
Maybe you guys didn't
know I was Chicken Baby,
495
00:18:08,221 --> 00:18:09,754
but I knew.
496
00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:11,022
And that was the lesson
497
00:18:11,024 --> 00:18:12,757
I was trying to teach my son.
498
00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:14,092
Teach all of you really.
499
00:18:14,094 --> 00:18:16,761
Because if you know
who you are in here...
500
00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:18,296
Uh-oh, here comes the tranquilizer.
501
00:18:18,298 --> 00:18:19,964
Then it doesn't matter what
anybody else thinks of you
502
00:18:19,966 --> 00:18:21,900
Chicken Baby's a metaphor
for being yourself...
503
00:18:21,902 --> 00:18:23,634
[FIRES, DART STICKS]
504
00:18:23,636 --> 00:18:25,436
Let the party continue!
505
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:27,839
We still have the
photo booth for an hour
506
00:18:27,841 --> 00:18:30,709
if anyone wants to wear
a funny hat with me!
507
00:18:30,711 --> 00:18:31,910
Get off the road!
508
00:18:31,912 --> 00:18:33,845
You're making me late for work!
509
00:18:33,847 --> 00:18:35,646
Ever heard of flying, moron?!
510
00:18:35,648 --> 00:18:36,981
JEFF: Sorry!
511
00:18:37,978 --> 00:18:39,784
I know Babe told me not to care
512
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,452
if people are mad at me,
513
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:42,787
but I do care!
514
00:18:42,789 --> 00:18:45,456
I can't not care!
515
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:46,725
I give up!
516
00:18:46,727 --> 00:18:50,929
[HONKING]
517
00:18:50,931 --> 00:18:53,331
[METAL CRASHING]
518
00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:56,968
[HONKING SUBSIDES]
519
00:19:06,747 --> 00:19:09,414
Tuttle, put some clothes on, bud.
520
00:19:09,416 --> 00:19:11,015
We're in mixed company.
521
00:19:11,017 --> 00:19:13,218
TUTTLE: I don't wanna!
522
00:19:14,069 --> 00:19:17,422
- Babe, we need to talk.
- No, babe, we need to talk.
523
00:19:17,424 --> 00:19:19,624
I tried my hardest to
show you I love you,
524
00:19:19,626 --> 00:19:22,026
but I just got in everybody's
way and they were honking
525
00:19:22,028 --> 00:19:23,895
and I felt terrible.
526
00:19:23,897 --> 00:19:25,230
I failed.
527
00:19:25,232 --> 00:19:27,766
If you don't want to be married to me,
528
00:19:27,768 --> 00:19:29,033
I understand.
529
00:19:29,035 --> 00:19:31,702
No, babe. Just the opposite.
530
00:19:31,704 --> 00:19:32,904
I love you, Jeff.
531
00:19:32,906 --> 00:19:34,639
And I know that being a people pleaser
532
00:19:34,641 --> 00:19:38,309
is just part of the whole
beautiful package of Jeff.
533
00:19:38,311 --> 00:19:40,111
But I didn't prove I love you!
534
00:19:40,113 --> 00:19:41,246
You don't have to.
535
00:19:41,248 --> 00:19:43,514
Nerfer and Danuta did it for you.
536
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:45,516
Aww, those guys are great.
537
00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:46,785
They let me kiss a bat!
538
00:19:46,787 --> 00:19:48,186
When you try to make people happy,
539
00:19:48,188 --> 00:19:50,989
it's your way of showing you love them.
540
00:19:50,991 --> 00:19:53,859
And nobody could make
me happier than you do.
541
00:19:57,330 --> 00:20:00,599
What in Tony Mendez's
blessed name are you doing?!
542
00:20:00,601 --> 00:20:02,733
My girl Margot at the Argo museum
543
00:20:02,735 --> 00:20:04,202
told me to turn on the news
544
00:20:04,204 --> 00:20:07,205
'cause there's an embargo on
my cargo headed for Fargo!
545
00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:09,007
This plane needs to get to north Dakota
546
00:20:09,009 --> 00:20:11,009
or I'm not getting 400 bucks.
547
00:20:11,011 --> 00:20:12,611
Wait, this was your idea?
548
00:20:12,613 --> 00:20:14,279
As Jeff's Ayahuasca shaman,
549
00:20:14,281 --> 00:20:17,548
I may have had a light
hand in guiding him.
550
00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:18,817
[BELL CHIMES]
551
00:20:18,819 --> 00:20:20,685
Drive my plane to Fargo!
552
00:20:20,687 --> 00:20:22,821
Drive my plane to Fargo!
553
00:20:22,823 --> 00:20:24,355
That's your heart's desire!
554
00:20:24,357 --> 00:20:26,825
Okay? Drive my plane to Fargo!
555
00:20:26,827 --> 00:20:28,893
Heart's desire!
556
00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:30,695
So get back on the plane, Jeff!
557
00:20:30,697 --> 00:20:32,497
- You gotta get movin'!
- No!
558
00:20:32,499 --> 00:20:35,634
Find somebody else to drive your plane!
559
00:20:35,636 --> 00:20:40,171
[CHANTING]
560
00:20:40,173 --> 00:20:41,973
Never mind, I just spotted
561
00:20:41,975 --> 00:20:44,910
an extremely qualified candidate.
562
00:20:46,713 --> 00:20:49,247
[MOANING]
563
00:20:55,722 --> 00:20:57,388
Aah!
564
00:20:57,390 --> 00:20:59,491
Bye! Have a beautiful time!
565
00:21:01,525 --> 00:21:03,328
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
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