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1
00:00:00,867 --> 00:00:03,268
[UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS]
2
00:00:03,270 --> 00:00:07,005
- [GLASS SHATTERS]
- Another Oktoberfest in the books.
3
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:08,540
Now how're we getting home?
4
00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:11,676
Steve doesn't have a license,
I'm hammered, Francine's wasted,
5
00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:13,946
and Hayley's way too drunk to drive.
6
00:00:13,948 --> 00:00:15,714
How can you tell?
7
00:00:15,716 --> 00:00:20,384
Because when you abuse alcohol,
I like you more as a person.
8
00:00:20,386 --> 00:00:21,419
I can drive!
9
00:00:21,421 --> 00:00:22,787
I stayed sober all night
10
00:00:22,789 --> 00:00:24,956
just so I could be
the designated driver.
11
00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:28,192
What... What about Jeff?
12
00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:30,062
He can't, remember?
13
00:00:30,064 --> 00:00:33,065
He shattered his legs
in the beer stein race.
14
00:00:33,067 --> 00:00:35,600
Oh, God! My legs!
15
00:00:35,602 --> 00:00:37,001
Gross! Get out of here!
16
00:00:37,003 --> 00:00:38,736
Come on, Stan! Throw me the keys!
17
00:00:38,738 --> 00:00:40,472
Absolutely not.
18
00:00:40,474 --> 00:00:43,408
- What's the problem?
- I already texted Klaus.
19
00:00:43,410 --> 00:00:45,209
He'll get us home safe.
20
00:00:45,211 --> 00:00:48,346
You guys want Klaus to
drive instead of me?
21
00:00:48,348 --> 00:00:50,949
Heck yeah we [BURPING] doooo.
22
00:00:50,951 --> 00:00:52,550
[CLANGING]
23
00:00:52,552 --> 00:00:54,752
Klaus in the house!
24
00:00:54,754 --> 00:00:57,355
More like Klaus in the truck! [LAUGHS]
25
00:00:57,357 --> 00:00:59,023
Hop in!
26
00:00:59,025 --> 00:01:01,960
Will you please take me to the ER?
27
00:01:01,962 --> 00:01:04,096
No way. I'm not wasting my buzz
28
00:01:04,098 --> 00:01:06,898
sitting around an emergmancy rohm.
29
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,367
But the hospital's on the way home!
30
00:01:09,369 --> 00:01:12,036
I could've skipped the
hospital just as well as Klaus!
31
00:01:12,038 --> 00:01:13,838
- [SCREAMS]
- Oh, please.
32
00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:16,174
Legs heal, but there's no greater pain
33
00:01:16,176 --> 00:01:18,810
than staying sober
all night for nothing.
34
00:01:24,146 --> 00:01:27,001
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
35
00:01:27,036 --> 00:01:30,122
♪ I got a feelin'
that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
36
00:01:30,124 --> 00:01:33,325
♪ The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face ♪
37
00:01:33,327 --> 00:01:37,896
♪ And he's shinin'
a salute to the American race ♪
38
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♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
39
00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:45,870
- ♪ Good... ♪
- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
40
00:01:45,872 --> 00:01:46,938
Aah!
41
00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:51,476
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
42
00:01:54,472 --> 00:01:57,281
I can't believe none of you
would let me drive last night.
43
00:01:57,283 --> 00:01:59,684
I was so upset I had
to journal about it,
44
00:01:59,686 --> 00:02:01,153
and that's when I realized none of you
45
00:02:01,155 --> 00:02:03,688
have gotten in a car with
me for the past six months!
46
00:02:03,890 --> 00:02:05,890
- Why not?
- Okay, I'm just gonna say it.
47
00:02:05,892 --> 00:02:07,692
You're the worst driver in the world.
48
00:02:07,694 --> 00:02:08,727
Hayley, please.
49
00:02:08,729 --> 00:02:11,029
You know how much I love
pointing out Roger's flaws,
50
00:02:11,031 --> 00:02:13,031
but it's best we leave
this to a professional.
51
00:02:13,033 --> 00:02:14,899
That's why I scheduled an appointment
52
00:02:14,901 --> 00:02:16,234
with our insurance adjustor.
53
00:02:16,236 --> 00:02:18,703
You think I need my insurance adjusted?
54
00:02:18,705 --> 00:02:21,439
Well, I think you need
your attitude adjusted!
55
00:02:21,441 --> 00:02:22,841
[SOBBING]
56
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:30,248
TOGETHER:
Insurance adjustor Heinrich Brown?!
57
00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:33,051
Please, come in.
I'll make some room for you.
58
00:02:33,053 --> 00:02:35,387
- [CRASH]
- JEFF: Oh, God! My arms!
59
00:02:35,389 --> 00:02:36,989
Thank you, Stan.
60
00:02:36,991 --> 00:02:38,923
I'm here to explain the
reasons Uncle Roger is a threat
61
00:02:38,925 --> 00:02:41,926
to everything I hold dear
as an insurance adjustor.
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00:02:41,928 --> 00:02:45,397
To do so,
I'll be using a form of street poetry
63
00:02:45,399 --> 00:02:47,665
colloquially known as "rap."
64
00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:48,867
[RAP MUSIC PLAYS]
65
00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:50,468
[RAPPING] ♪ Get up, unh, unh ♪
66
00:02:50,470 --> 00:02:52,804
♪ My name is Heinrich
Brown and I'm here to say ♪
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00:02:52,806 --> 00:02:55,339
♪ Uncle Roger drives
in a terrible way ♪
68
00:02:55,341 --> 00:02:58,810
♪ Behind the wheel, he's negligent ♪
69
00:02:58,812 --> 00:03:01,413
I'm sorry, I just... can't.
70
00:03:01,415 --> 00:03:02,648
[RECORD SCRATCHES]
71
00:03:04,018 --> 00:03:06,084
This hardened exterior is a lie.
72
00:03:06,086 --> 00:03:08,620
I only pretend to be tough
because working in insurance
73
00:03:08,622 --> 00:03:10,555
requires a lot of machismo.
74
00:03:10,557 --> 00:03:12,624
But I need to be honest with myself.
75
00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:14,092
I don't want to rap.
76
00:03:14,094 --> 00:03:15,627
I want to...
77
00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:18,697
♪ Sing ♪
78
00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:19,764
[R&B MUSIC PLAYS]
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00:03:19,766 --> 00:03:22,434
Uncle Roger, frankly,
80
00:03:22,436 --> 00:03:26,771
there should be a hall of
fame for all your accidents.
81
00:03:26,773 --> 00:03:31,042
I heard they were building one
and you drove right through it.
82
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:34,112
I guess the only thing left to say is...
83
00:03:34,114 --> 00:03:36,781
Alright, here we go! Full singing!
84
00:03:36,783 --> 00:03:39,383
♪ Roger, you know ♪
85
00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:44,122
♪ That you don't
belong on the road ♪
86
00:03:44,124 --> 00:03:48,860
♪ But you can't let go ♪
87
00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:51,463
♪ It's so apropos ♪
88
00:03:51,465 --> 00:03:53,732
♪ That we're increasing ♪
89
00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:56,068
♪ Your deductible ♪
90
00:03:56,070 --> 00:03:58,603
I told you I saw a bunch
of people in the basement.
91
00:03:58,605 --> 00:04:00,538
I still don't believe you.
92
00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:05,944
♪ No, you don't belong on the road ♪
93
00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:10,682
♪ But you can't let go ♪
94
00:04:10,684 --> 00:04:12,951
♪ Every single day ♪
95
00:04:12,953 --> 00:04:15,620
♪ You cause Stan to crash ♪
96
00:04:15,622 --> 00:04:20,358
♪ Into a flagpoooooole ♪
97
00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:22,828
♪ Oh, he is crashing ♪
98
00:04:23,830 --> 00:04:27,099
♪ He's going down, down, down ♪
99
00:04:27,101 --> 00:04:30,835
♪ Roger, you know that you
don't belong on the road ♪
100
00:04:30,837 --> 00:04:34,706
♪ Somehow he walks away every time ♪
101
00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:38,310
♪ But you can't let go ♪
102
00:04:38,312 --> 00:04:41,113
This song hurts my feelings,
which sucks,
103
00:04:41,115 --> 00:04:43,181
because its already stuck in my head.
104
00:04:43,183 --> 00:04:46,584
What a fabulous concert. Is this free?
105
00:04:46,586 --> 00:04:48,853
It feels free because it's bundled
106
00:04:48,855 --> 00:04:50,522
with your insurance plan.
107
00:04:50,524 --> 00:04:52,658
Free! Free! Free!
108
00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:56,128
♪♪
109
00:04:56,130 --> 00:04:58,530
ROGER: Dear Journal,
I hope I can trust you
110
00:04:58,532 --> 00:05:01,533
in the way no one trusts me,
which is a lot!
111
00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:04,669
I'm still upset no one in
this family will let me drive.
112
00:05:04,671 --> 00:05:07,205
Roger, I know this is
a great chance for a joke,
113
00:05:07,207 --> 00:05:08,940
but I want to get straight to it...
114
00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:12,144
I'm willing to give you driving lessons.
115
00:05:12,146 --> 00:05:13,277
Hmm.
116
00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:15,547
I guess I'd get to
drive your sick truck.
117
00:05:15,549 --> 00:05:19,017
Yes. But you have to
be extremely careful.
118
00:05:19,019 --> 00:05:21,285
My truck is a highly
specific shade of orange
119
00:05:21,287 --> 00:05:24,222
that's been proven to
cause epileptic seizures,
120
00:05:24,224 --> 00:05:26,491
so they don't make parts for it anymore.
121
00:05:27,162 --> 00:05:28,960
If you're going to earn
the family's trust back,
122
00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:31,095
you're going to have to
show them you can focus
123
00:05:31,097 --> 00:05:32,630
- while you're driving...
- Hey, look!
124
00:05:32,632 --> 00:05:34,098
A sign!
125
00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:35,767
- _
- He's still allowed to adopt?!
126
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:36,969
[LAUGHS]
127
00:05:36,971 --> 00:05:38,302
Roger, goddammit, watch the road!
128
00:05:38,304 --> 00:05:40,438
I can laugh and watch the...
129
00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:41,439
[GASPS]
130
00:05:41,441 --> 00:05:43,108
Whee!
131
00:05:44,978 --> 00:05:48,046
You crashed my perfect truck
into that hideous Tesla!
132
00:05:48,048 --> 00:05:49,781
Hmm... Tesla...
133
00:05:49,783 --> 00:05:51,783
You better have good insurance, pal.
134
00:05:51,785 --> 00:05:53,585
Oh, God, the orange of your truck
135
00:05:53,587 --> 00:05:55,453
is so highly spec...
136
00:05:55,455 --> 00:05:59,457
[SPUTTERING]
137
00:05:59,459 --> 00:06:00,859
Tesla...
138
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:02,594
Tesla...
139
00:06:02,596 --> 00:06:04,996
♪♪
140
00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:07,599
Roger, why did you invite us to SoSo's?
141
00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:09,267
Yeah, this place sucks.
142
00:06:09,269 --> 00:06:13,071
It smells like cheap marinara
and unpaid child support.
143
00:06:13,073 --> 00:06:14,739
And the food...
144
00:06:14,741 --> 00:06:16,408
it tastes...
145
00:06:16,410 --> 00:06:19,143
I wanna say... bad?
146
00:06:19,145 --> 00:06:20,478
Okay, you guys need to stop
147
00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:21,746
shitting on SoSo's.
148
00:06:21,748 --> 00:06:23,481
Alright?
This is a perfectly fine restaurant
149
00:06:23,483 --> 00:06:24,749
for families on a budget.
150
00:06:24,751 --> 00:06:26,084
Then why don't you eat some?
151
00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:28,352
What?! No! I don't wanna die!
152
00:06:28,354 --> 00:06:31,355
Speaking of not dying,
I am finally willing to accept
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00:06:31,357 --> 00:06:33,425
that none of you want me to drive.
154
00:06:33,427 --> 00:06:34,559
Thank you, Roger.
155
00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:36,494
We appreciate you respecting our wishes.
156
00:06:36,496 --> 00:06:38,162
Sorry, you didn't let me finish.
157
00:06:38,164 --> 00:06:40,164
I'm willing to accept that none of you
158
00:06:40,166 --> 00:06:43,035
want me to drive on Earth!
159
00:06:44,638 --> 00:06:47,306
[ENGINE HUMMING]
160
00:06:48,775 --> 00:06:50,575
[SCREAMS]
161
00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:51,910
[ALL GASP]
162
00:06:55,782 --> 00:06:58,383
[SCREAMING]
163
00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:09,061
Wow! I've heard about five-star dining,
164
00:07:09,063 --> 00:07:10,528
but this is ridiculous!
165
00:07:10,530 --> 00:07:13,398
Looks like at SoSo's,
it's not just the savings
166
00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:15,067
that are out of this world!
167
00:07:15,069 --> 00:07:16,801
No, no, I should take this seriously.
168
00:07:16,803 --> 00:07:20,872
After all, there's a certain
gravity to this situation!
169
00:07:20,874 --> 00:07:22,908
We have fun.
170
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,780
Roger, what the hell is going on?!
171
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:29,982
That's a fair question.
172
00:07:29,984 --> 00:07:32,985
See, SoSo's Pizzas are alien spaceships
173
00:07:32,987 --> 00:07:34,252
placed throughout America
174
00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:35,787
in preparation for The Reckoning,
175
00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:39,391
which is when an obscure alien
race will destroy humanity
176
00:07:39,393 --> 00:07:41,760
if they ever stop making
"Law & Order: SVU."
177
00:07:43,197 --> 00:07:45,063
[DRAMATIC STING]
178
00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:47,932
Everyone and their grandma
knows about The Reckoning.
179
00:07:47,934 --> 00:07:51,403
We wanna know what's going
on with us being in space!
180
00:07:51,405 --> 00:07:54,072
Well, earlier,
through no fault of my own,
181
00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:56,408
I crashed Klaus's truck into a Tesla.
182
00:07:56,410 --> 00:07:59,477
That's when I remembered
Tesla put a car in space.
183
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:02,014
And now that's where we are. Space!
184
00:08:02,016 --> 00:08:03,481
But why?!
185
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:06,218
Because driving in space is way harder
186
00:08:06,220 --> 00:08:07,485
than driving on land.
187
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:09,954
Up here, even the slightest mistake
188
00:08:09,956 --> 00:08:11,023
will get us all killed.
189
00:08:11,025 --> 00:08:12,490
So if I can do this,
190
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,492
you'll have no choice but to trust me
191
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:15,894
behind the wheel of a car.
192
00:08:15,896 --> 00:08:19,030
That's your plan to
get us to trust you?!
193
00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:20,232
Yup. It was this
194
00:08:20,234 --> 00:08:22,100
or completely changing my personality
195
00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:24,703
and earning it over
the next 5 to 10 years.
196
00:08:24,705 --> 00:08:28,040
So you can see how space
makes a lot more sense for me.
197
00:08:28,042 --> 00:08:32,977
♪♪
198
00:08:32,979 --> 00:08:35,714
I've got news! The local SoSo's Pizza
199
00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:37,449
was obliterated in what people
200
00:08:37,451 --> 00:08:38,983
who might not even have been there
201
00:08:38,985 --> 00:08:41,719
are calling a freak gas explosion.
202
00:08:41,721 --> 00:08:42,654
No!
203
00:08:42,656 --> 00:08:46,391
My babe and babe-in-laws
were at that SoSo's!
204
00:08:46,393 --> 00:08:48,393
[WAILING]
205
00:08:48,395 --> 00:08:51,129
You lost your wife, I lost my truck.
206
00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:52,864
Could today get any worse?
207
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:55,800
Hey, fish!
I heard about your dead family
208
00:08:55,802 --> 00:08:58,603
and totaled car.
I'm sorry you're feeling down,
209
00:08:58,605 --> 00:09:00,472
but your premiums are going up!
210
00:09:01,675 --> 00:09:04,443
[BOTH SOBBING]
211
00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:08,546
Okay, gonna keep it real simple.
212
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:12,150
Just a few quick maneuvers,
then it's right back to Earth.
213
00:09:13,754 --> 00:09:15,454
[BEEPING]
214
00:09:21,828 --> 00:09:22,828
Ta-dah!
215
00:09:22,829 --> 00:09:24,796
Watch out! Tesla!
216
00:09:27,768 --> 00:09:30,168
Did you just get into a car accident...
217
00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:31,836
in space?
218
00:09:31,838 --> 00:09:33,905
And is it just me,
219
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:35,507
or are we drifting further and further
220
00:09:35,509 --> 00:09:37,442
from our sweet Mother Gaia?
221
00:09:39,179 --> 00:09:41,513
Not to worry, this is a perfect excuse
222
00:09:41,515 --> 00:09:43,515
to show off my most impressive
223
00:09:43,517 --> 00:09:45,650
and unnecessary space maneuver.
224
00:09:45,652 --> 00:09:48,586
It's called a Planetary Slingshot,
225
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,922
- and it's when...
- You use the gravitational pull
226
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:53,925
of a planet to accelerate,
or "slingshot",
227
00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:56,594
your spacecraft towards
your destination.
228
00:09:57,154 --> 00:09:58,196
The math checks out.
229
00:09:58,198 --> 00:10:01,333
FYI, you absolutely
cannot look at the sun.
230
00:10:01,335 --> 00:10:03,668
Looking directly into
the sun at this proximity
231
00:10:03,670 --> 00:10:05,403
causes Sun Madness.
232
00:10:05,405 --> 00:10:07,071
- Francine?
- That's right.
233
00:10:07,073 --> 00:10:08,673
And once you go Sun Mad,
234
00:10:08,675 --> 00:10:12,544
you'll become so infatuated
by that big ball of gas
235
00:10:12,546 --> 00:10:15,547
that you'll do anything
to burn up inside her.
236
00:10:15,549 --> 00:10:17,849
Including foreplay.
237
00:10:22,823 --> 00:10:24,422
Take us home, Venus!
238
00:10:24,424 --> 00:10:26,624
[ALL SCREAMING]
239
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,693
Screwed the pooch on that one.
240
00:10:28,695 --> 00:10:30,895
But if at first you don't succeed!
241
00:10:30,897 --> 00:10:32,831
Come onnnnn, Mercury!
242
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:35,934
[ALL SCREAMING]
243
00:10:36,570 --> 00:10:38,170
Welp, third time's the charm.
244
00:10:38,172 --> 00:10:41,305
But there's only two planets
between Earth and the sun!
245
00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:42,640
Nuh-uh! What about that one?
246
00:10:43,565 --> 00:10:45,043
STAN: That's no planet.
247
00:10:45,045 --> 00:10:47,579
It's a pepperoni!
248
00:10:47,581 --> 00:10:50,448
Bad. So bad.
249
00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:53,852
No big deal. I can turn around
and fly home without a problem.
250
00:10:53,854 --> 00:10:55,720
- [CHIMING]
- With one problem.
251
00:10:55,722 --> 00:10:57,255
We're running low on fuel.
252
00:10:57,257 --> 00:10:58,857
But we can still get back, right?
253
00:10:58,859 --> 00:11:00,792
Oh, please let me do the math.
254
00:11:00,794 --> 00:11:03,327
It's like I'm living
in my own word problem.
255
00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:06,198
Let's see... ship of this size...
256
00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:08,200
account for the distance...
257
00:11:08,202 --> 00:11:09,601
Good news, family!
258
00:11:09,603 --> 00:11:11,003
If we continue at this speed,
259
00:11:11,005 --> 00:11:14,272
we should have enough
fuel to get home in...
260
00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:16,208
seven years?!
261
00:11:16,210 --> 00:11:18,810
What the hell, Roger?
Your driving has ruined our lives!
262
00:11:18,812 --> 00:11:20,745
All you've proven is that we were right
263
00:11:20,747 --> 00:11:22,080
not to trust you behind the wheel.
264
00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:24,616
Maybe we shouldn't trust you at all.
265
00:11:24,618 --> 00:11:27,419
Fine! I'm gonna go journal,
and you better believe
266
00:11:27,421 --> 00:11:29,554
this next entry will be scathing!
267
00:11:29,556 --> 00:11:32,290
[SOBBING]
268
00:11:32,292 --> 00:11:33,825
JEFF: Oh, God.
269
00:11:33,827 --> 00:11:36,961
I would do anything
to not feel this sad.
270
00:11:36,963 --> 00:11:41,366
Well, research shows,
and I don't want to do this,
271
00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,235
but when two grief-stricken adults
272
00:11:43,237 --> 00:11:45,703
lose everything but each other,
273
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:48,640
they heal their pain through boinking.
274
00:11:48,642 --> 00:11:53,311
That's just science,
ergo my scientific term "boinking"
275
00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:57,649
instead of, you know, sex.
276
00:11:57,651 --> 00:12:00,919
Uh... No offense, Mr. Klaus,
277
00:12:00,921 --> 00:12:03,855
but I really don't
wanna get on the train
278
00:12:03,857 --> 00:12:05,523
to Boinksville with you.
279
00:12:05,525 --> 00:12:06,725
Me neither.
280
00:12:06,727 --> 00:12:09,728
Let's hold out as long as we can.
281
00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:16,534
I spy with my little
eye something that is...
282
00:12:16,536 --> 00:12:18,270
I know! Is it a star?!
283
00:12:18,272 --> 00:12:20,204
This is gonna be a long seven years.
284
00:12:20,206 --> 00:12:24,142
It's like a star,
but it's more like a pizzeria
285
00:12:24,144 --> 00:12:26,078
and it's headed straight toward us.
286
00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:34,619
♪♪
287
00:12:34,621 --> 00:12:36,020
ROGER: It's docking.
288
00:12:36,022 --> 00:12:40,459
Someone, or some thing,
is trying to come aboard.
289
00:12:41,895 --> 00:12:43,695
[HISSING]
290
00:12:43,697 --> 00:12:46,331
[BEEPING, BUZZER]
291
00:12:49,836 --> 00:12:52,036
Hey, gang! It's me, Roger!
292
00:12:52,038 --> 00:12:53,705
No, I'm Roger.
293
00:12:53,707 --> 00:12:54,973
We're both Roger!
294
00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:57,509
Only difference is...
I'm from the future.
295
00:12:57,511 --> 00:12:58,910
[ALL GASP]
296
00:12:58,912 --> 00:13:02,246
And my space tan makes
me a teensy bit sexier.
297
00:13:02,248 --> 00:13:03,415
[GASPS]
298
00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:10,021
So you're me, but from the future?
299
00:13:10,023 --> 00:13:12,758
Aww. Hard to believe
I was ever that naive.
300
00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:14,960
But yes, you little cherub, I am.
301
00:13:14,962 --> 00:13:16,428
How far into the future?
302
00:13:16,430 --> 00:13:19,564
Three. Whole. Days.
303
00:13:19,566 --> 00:13:22,834
That's not far, but still unusual.
304
00:13:22,836 --> 00:13:24,102
How did you travel back to us?
305
00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:26,171
I popped through a little wormhole.
306
00:13:26,173 --> 00:13:28,706
- That's impossible.
- If you suck at driving it is.
307
00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:30,375
Ha! He got you, Roger!
308
00:13:30,377 --> 00:13:32,978
Hey, um... Where's the future us?
309
00:13:32,980 --> 00:13:35,781
They died a couple days ago.
310
00:13:35,783 --> 00:13:37,315
I'm still a little sad about it.
311
00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:39,451
Aw, that's terrible.
Please let us know...
312
00:13:39,453 --> 00:13:40,986
Wait a minute! Do you mean us?
313
00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:43,388
That's what I came
back to warn you about.
314
00:13:43,390 --> 00:13:44,922
If you stick with your plan
315
00:13:44,924 --> 00:13:47,525
to get back to Earth
the slow way, you die.
316
00:13:47,527 --> 00:13:48,726
- [BOTH GASP]
- BOTH: Eep!
317
00:13:48,728 --> 00:13:50,862
Your only chance of getting home
318
00:13:50,864 --> 00:13:52,930
is to slingshot the sun.
319
00:13:52,932 --> 00:13:55,200
Slingshotting? Sounds promising.
320
00:13:55,202 --> 00:13:57,002
You're just gonna trust this guy?
321
00:13:57,004 --> 00:13:59,671
Look, young blood,
you're the one who got us in this mess.
322
00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:01,406
I'm trying to get us out of it.
323
00:14:01,408 --> 00:14:02,674
That settles it.
324
00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:05,010
Future Roger's gonna
slingshot us around the sun.
325
00:14:05,012 --> 00:14:08,013
Great! I like Future Roger.
326
00:14:08,015 --> 00:14:09,681
He's got a weathered look
327
00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:12,950
that gives me "wise cowboy" vibes.
328
00:14:12,952 --> 00:14:15,020
Mighty kind of you, little lady.
329
00:14:15,022 --> 00:14:17,155
It feels great to have everyone's trust.
330
00:14:17,157 --> 00:14:19,024
You'll just have to trust me on that.
331
00:14:19,026 --> 00:14:20,692
Want your diary, buddy?
332
00:14:20,694 --> 00:14:22,894
It's not a diary, it's a journal!
333
00:14:22,896 --> 00:14:24,562
Like an explorer has!
334
00:14:24,564 --> 00:14:26,631
I'm exploring my inner thoughts!
335
00:14:26,633 --> 00:14:28,767
[SOBBING] Ah!
336
00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:36,708
Wait a second,
this entry is dated three days from now.
337
00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:38,710
This is Future Me's journal!
338
00:14:38,712 --> 00:14:41,713
FUTURE ROGER: Dear Journal,
some good news for a change.
339
00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:44,716
I've fallen in love,
and you'll never guess who with!
340
00:14:44,718 --> 00:14:49,320
Her name is The Sun,
and I long to die inside her.
341
00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:53,191
Alas, my family
doesn't understand my love.
342
00:14:53,193 --> 00:14:55,126
By the time we settled our differences,
343
00:14:55,128 --> 00:14:56,662
we'd been flying in circles so long
344
00:14:56,664 --> 00:15:00,198
that the ship was almost
completely out of fuel.
345
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,133
But if my calculations are correct,
346
00:15:02,135 --> 00:15:05,537
I should have just enough fuel
to get to a nearby wormhole
347
00:15:05,539 --> 00:15:07,138
and travel back in time.
348
00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:09,607
Then, I'll be able to
take the Past Smiths' ship
349
00:15:09,609 --> 00:15:11,677
and fly us all right into the sun!
350
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:14,880
Holy crap!
351
00:15:14,882 --> 00:15:17,282
Future Me's gone totally Sun Mad!
352
00:15:17,284 --> 00:15:20,719
And now the only one who
can stop me is Now Me!
353
00:15:23,223 --> 00:15:24,822
Soon, my sweet.
354
00:15:24,824 --> 00:15:26,958
Soon.
355
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:29,361
Hey, there, whippersnapper.
Whatcha been up to?
356
00:15:29,363 --> 00:15:30,562
Oh, nothing.
357
00:15:30,564 --> 00:15:33,365
Just catching up on some light reading.
358
00:15:33,367 --> 00:15:34,699
My journal!
359
00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:37,502
I suppose that means you know
the sun and I are lovers.
360
00:15:37,504 --> 00:15:38,770
That ol' flooze?
361
00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:41,038
Buddy of mine raw dogged her in Cancún.
362
00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:43,108
Said he caught a wicked
case of melanoma.
363
00:15:43,110 --> 00:15:44,910
Oh, sure. Slut shame the sun.
364
00:15:44,912 --> 00:15:46,311
Real mature.
365
00:15:46,313 --> 00:15:48,313
And so what? We all have a past.
366
00:15:48,315 --> 00:15:49,514
Oh, a past?
367
00:15:49,516 --> 00:15:51,449
Is that why she still
wakes up every morning
368
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:53,585
and gives it to an entire hemisphere?
369
00:15:53,587 --> 00:15:55,587
[GASPS] Take that back!
370
00:15:55,589 --> 00:15:56,588
[BOTH GRUNTING]
371
00:15:56,590 --> 00:15:57,622
Aah!
372
00:15:57,624 --> 00:15:59,791
[BEEPING, BUZZER]
373
00:16:03,196 --> 00:16:05,764
Oh, shitballs.
374
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,666
Rogers! What's going on here?
375
00:16:08,668 --> 00:16:11,068
Oh, Stan, it was awful!
376
00:16:11,070 --> 00:16:12,537
I was preparing for our slingshot
377
00:16:12,539 --> 00:16:16,007
when he detached my ship and
threw my journal into space!
378
00:16:16,009 --> 00:16:17,542
Roger, how could you?
379
00:16:17,544 --> 00:16:19,945
You know how important that
journal is to yourself.
380
00:16:19,947 --> 00:16:22,213
It was him! He's trying to kill us!
381
00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:24,816
He has Sun Madness!
You gotta believe me!
382
00:16:24,818 --> 00:16:25,883
No, I don't.
383
00:16:25,885 --> 00:16:27,418
If I couldn't trust you before,
384
00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:30,087
there's certainly no reason
for me to trust you now.
385
00:16:30,089 --> 00:16:32,690
Come on, Future Roger.
Let's get you out of here.
386
00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:33,891
It's all a ruse!
387
00:16:33,893 --> 00:16:35,226
He's selfish and manipulative
388
00:16:35,228 --> 00:16:37,228
and he cares more about
getting what he wants
389
00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:41,166
than he does about this
family's safety and... ohhhhhh.
390
00:16:41,168 --> 00:16:44,035
This is what it's like for
the family all the time.
391
00:16:44,037 --> 00:16:45,703
I get it now.
392
00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:48,974
Wow, when will I stop growing?
393
00:16:55,649 --> 00:16:58,516
- Roger.
- Roger.
394
00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:01,253
I took the liberty of
upgrading your seatbelts.
395
00:17:03,857 --> 00:17:06,591
- Good looking out.
- We can always count on you.
396
00:17:06,593 --> 00:17:08,126
Now that you're restrained,
397
00:17:08,128 --> 00:17:10,462
I should probably mention
that I have Sun Madness.
398
00:17:11,264 --> 00:17:13,264
Completely addicted to the sun.
399
00:17:13,266 --> 00:17:15,733
But don't worry, I'm working
through a twelve-step program,
400
00:17:15,735 --> 00:17:18,336
and the first step is
admitting I have a problem.
401
00:17:18,338 --> 00:17:21,939
The second step?
Flying directly into the sun!
402
00:17:21,941 --> 00:17:23,342
[LAUGHS EVILLY]
403
00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:27,412
Why isn't it working?
404
00:17:27,414 --> 00:17:29,481
I knew you'd try something like this,
405
00:17:29,483 --> 00:17:32,350
which is why I sabotaged
your accelerator.
406
00:17:32,352 --> 00:17:35,620
It's also why I rewired
the emergency eject button
407
00:17:35,622 --> 00:17:37,555
to be over here.
408
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,324
Goodbye, Roger.
409
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:42,093
I'm three days older than you.
410
00:17:42,095 --> 00:17:43,895
You think I didn't see this coming?
411
00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:45,631
I knew you'd try to sabotage me,
412
00:17:45,633 --> 00:17:49,167
which is why I put the real
eject button over here!
413
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:52,570
You must be getting
slow in your old age,
414
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:55,373
because I knew you'd know
that I'd deceive you,
415
00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:58,176
which is why I put the real
eject button over here!
416
00:17:59,379 --> 00:18:02,447
You didn't think I'd know
you knew I knew you'd know?
417
00:18:02,449 --> 00:18:04,883
The real eject button is over here!
418
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:09,187
Would you kill each other already?!
419
00:18:09,189 --> 00:18:10,988
You're a worthy opponent,
420
00:18:10,990 --> 00:18:12,990
but there's one thing
you didn't count on.
421
00:18:12,992 --> 00:18:14,059
The truth!
422
00:18:14,061 --> 00:18:15,993
That's right, this whole time
423
00:18:15,995 --> 00:18:18,196
the real emergency
eject button has been...
424
00:18:18,198 --> 00:18:20,565
the emergency eject button!
425
00:18:21,869 --> 00:18:24,669
Well played, but it's not over yet.
426
00:18:24,671 --> 00:18:28,140
Good luck trying to push a
button without any hands!
427
00:18:29,743 --> 00:18:31,209
[GASPS]
428
00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:34,612
You jagoffs got confused
by the temporal paradox.
429
00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:38,550
You're future him,
so when you cut off your hands...
430
00:18:38,552 --> 00:18:40,952
I'm only cutting off my own hands!
431
00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:44,289
Which gives me the upper hand.
432
00:18:45,893 --> 00:18:49,194
Aaaaah!
433
00:18:50,898 --> 00:18:52,364
Joke's on you.
434
00:18:52,366 --> 00:18:56,301
I'm headed right into the
fiery arms of my beloved!
435
00:18:56,303 --> 00:18:58,503
Aah!
436
00:18:58,505 --> 00:18:59,704
Noooooo!
437
00:18:59,706 --> 00:19:01,973
I'm stuck in perfect orbit!
438
00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:04,175
But if I can't be inside you,
439
00:19:04,177 --> 00:19:07,512
at least I can pleasure
myself to your presence.
440
00:19:07,514 --> 00:19:09,981
Oh, God! No hands!
441
00:19:09,983 --> 00:19:14,052
Roger, you saved us from yourself.
442
00:19:14,054 --> 00:19:16,922
Maybe, but if I want you to trust me,
443
00:19:16,924 --> 00:19:18,323
I have to be honest with you.
444
00:19:18,325 --> 00:19:21,893
And the big truth is, I can't drive.
445
00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:24,296
[CREAKING]
446
00:19:27,843 --> 00:19:30,268
We've entered the sun's
gravitational field!
447
00:19:30,270 --> 00:19:32,938
Our only way out is to
pull off a slingshot!
448
00:19:32,940 --> 00:19:34,406
What do you say, Roger?
449
00:19:34,408 --> 00:19:37,275
Can we trust you with our
lives twice in one hour?
450
00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:39,877
- I don't know...
- You can do this, Roger!
451
00:19:39,879 --> 00:19:41,546
We believe in you!
452
00:19:41,548 --> 00:19:43,815
Personally I think this family's
a little too quick to forgive.
453
00:19:43,817 --> 00:19:45,216
You're right.
454
00:19:45,218 --> 00:19:48,419
With your trust behind me,
I can do anything.
455
00:19:48,421 --> 00:19:51,222
♪♪
456
00:19:51,224 --> 00:19:53,358
[ENGINE WHIRRING]
457
00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:58,163
♪♪
458
00:19:58,165 --> 00:20:01,166
It's so hot! We're too close!
459
00:20:01,168 --> 00:20:02,567
Wait for it...
460
00:20:02,569 --> 00:20:04,702
She's falling apart!
461
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:06,271
Almost there...
462
00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,509
[ALL SCREAMING]
463
00:20:11,511 --> 00:20:12,944
Now!
464
00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:19,116
Whee!
465
00:20:19,118 --> 00:20:20,718
FRANCINE: Great job, Roger!
466
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:21,853
HAYLEY: You did it!
467
00:20:21,855 --> 00:20:23,188
STEVE: What a slingshot!
468
00:20:23,190 --> 00:20:25,991
Does this mean I'm driving
to Oktoberfest next year?
469
00:20:25,993 --> 00:20:27,325
STAN: Only if you don't drink.
470
00:20:27,327 --> 00:20:28,527
Ech. Never mind.
471
00:20:30,197 --> 00:20:34,065
I'm still sad my whole family's dead.
472
00:20:34,067 --> 00:20:36,401
I'm still sad about my truck.
473
00:20:36,403 --> 00:20:37,602
I give in!
474
00:20:37,604 --> 00:20:39,871
Me too!
475
00:20:39,873 --> 00:20:41,406
Let's heal! Let's heal!
476
00:20:41,408 --> 00:20:44,676
♪ Oh, he's grieving ♪
477
00:20:44,678 --> 00:20:46,478
♪ Grieving ♪
478
00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:48,880
♪ On that right now
train to Boinksville ♪
479
00:20:48,882 --> 00:20:52,818
♪ Grieving on that right
now train to Boinksville ♪
480
00:20:52,820 --> 00:20:54,486
♪ Splooge splooge! ♪
481
00:20:54,488 --> 00:20:56,388
Get back in the basement!
482
00:20:58,558 --> 00:21:00,659
Bye! Have a beautiful time!
483
00:21:02,625 --> 00:21:04,413
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
34848
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