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1
00:00:03,692 --> 00:00:05,225
Isn't this nice?
2
00:00:05,227 --> 00:00:09,295
It feels good knowing the only
thing going on in our lives
3
00:00:09,297 --> 00:00:12,566
right now is a new
loose leaf tea kettle.
4
00:00:12,568 --> 00:00:13,967
After the year we had,
5
00:00:13,969 --> 00:00:16,570
I could get used to these low-key days.
6
00:00:16,572 --> 00:00:18,839
I love you, F-F-F...
7
00:00:18,841 --> 00:00:22,042
Fire station open houses!
8
00:00:22,044 --> 00:00:23,777
- [HORNS HONKING]
- Oh!
9
00:00:23,779 --> 00:00:24,978
Oh!
10
00:00:24,980 --> 00:00:26,646
Fire station open house, Francine!
11
00:00:26,648 --> 00:00:27,981
C'mon! C'mon! C'mon!
12
00:00:27,983 --> 00:00:29,383
[GROANS]
13
00:00:29,385 --> 00:00:31,051
[HORN HONKS]
14
00:00:31,053 --> 00:00:32,652
Aaaaaah!
15
00:00:32,654 --> 00:00:34,588
Where are you going?
16
00:00:34,590 --> 00:00:37,191
♪♪
17
00:00:37,193 --> 00:00:40,412
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
18
00:00:40,447 --> 00:00:43,529
♪ I got a feelin'
that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
19
00:00:43,531 --> 00:00:46,533
♪ The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face ♪
20
00:00:46,535 --> 00:00:51,171
♪ And he's shinin'
a salute to the American race ♪
21
00:00:52,875 --> 00:00:56,210
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
22
00:00:56,212 --> 00:00:59,145
- ♪ Good... ♪
- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
23
00:00:59,147 --> 00:01:00,213
Aah!
24
00:01:01,349 --> 00:01:04,751
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
25
00:01:04,753 --> 00:01:07,353
♪♪
26
00:01:07,355 --> 00:01:08,555
Good job.
27
00:01:08,557 --> 00:01:09,756
Put out that fire.
28
00:01:09,758 --> 00:01:11,357
[HORN HONKING]
29
00:01:11,359 --> 00:01:12,793
I found the horn!
30
00:01:14,378 --> 00:01:16,445
Aw, man, these are great.
31
00:01:18,515 --> 00:01:21,516
So, we've gone over
some basic fire safety.
32
00:01:21,518 --> 00:01:23,052
Are there any questions?
33
00:01:23,054 --> 00:01:24,586
Why is fire so hot?
34
00:01:24,588 --> 00:01:26,388
Dumb. Dumb question.
35
00:01:26,390 --> 00:01:28,323
Uh, maybe because it's burning.
36
00:01:28,325 --> 00:01:29,892
[LAUGHS]
37
00:01:31,128 --> 00:01:32,594
[LAUGHS]
38
00:01:32,596 --> 00:01:35,530
Okay, folks,
get your raffle tickets out.
39
00:01:35,532 --> 00:01:37,532
Time to see who'll be Langley's
40
00:01:37,534 --> 00:01:40,001
- Honorary Firefighter!
- Wait, what did he say?
41
00:01:40,003 --> 00:01:42,869
The winner will get to spend a week
42
00:01:42,870 --> 00:01:44,740
hanging with us, learning,
43
00:01:44,742 --> 00:01:49,210
and maybe even go on the
truck to a real fire.
44
00:01:49,212 --> 00:01:50,412
There's a raffle?
45
00:01:50,414 --> 00:01:51,813
But I didn't buy a ticket.
46
00:01:51,815 --> 00:01:53,014
31.
47
00:01:53,016 --> 00:01:55,216
Wait, please let
this pancake be my ticket.
48
00:01:55,218 --> 00:01:56,752
Who has 31?
49
00:01:56,754 --> 00:01:59,154
31?
50
00:01:59,156 --> 00:02:01,356
I think that's me.
51
00:02:01,358 --> 00:02:02,891
WOMAN: [BRITISH ACCENT]
Now that you've threaded
52
00:02:02,893 --> 00:02:05,694
your needle,
you'll need to bring the point down
53
00:02:05,696 --> 00:02:07,429
and through the canvas.
54
00:02:07,431 --> 00:02:09,164
Down and...
55
00:02:09,166 --> 00:02:10,499
- Outta my way!
- Ow!
56
00:02:10,501 --> 00:02:11,967
What the hell?!
57
00:02:11,969 --> 00:02:13,502
[GRUNTING]
58
00:02:13,504 --> 00:02:15,704
Stan, you're really redefining
59
00:02:15,706 --> 00:02:18,507
the concept of "open kitchen."
60
00:02:18,509 --> 00:02:20,109
[LAUGHS]
61
00:02:20,111 --> 00:02:22,577
I will swallow you whole.
62
00:02:22,579 --> 00:02:26,115
Whoa, talk about an open kitch...
63
00:02:26,117 --> 00:02:27,650
No, Hayley, don't!
64
00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:32,387
- [GASPS]
- Why, Dad, why?!
65
00:02:32,389 --> 00:02:34,189
He's having a meltdown
66
00:02:34,191 --> 00:02:35,857
because I won some raffle
67
00:02:35,859 --> 00:02:38,059
to spend a week with
the Fire Department.
68
00:02:38,061 --> 00:02:40,261
I've always longed to be a firefighter,
69
00:02:40,263 --> 00:02:41,596
and I was so close,
70
00:02:41,598 --> 00:02:45,000
until a certain sexy
little Benedict Arnold
71
00:02:45,002 --> 00:02:47,068
hypnotized me with her long legs
72
00:02:47,070 --> 00:02:48,537
into forgetting there was a raffle.
73
00:02:48,539 --> 00:02:50,205
Oh, grow up.
74
00:02:50,207 --> 00:02:52,541
You've been like this since
the day we got married.
75
00:02:52,543 --> 00:02:54,610
A highly sexual and reasonable man?
76
00:02:54,612 --> 00:02:58,279
A man who overreacts when
he doesn't get his way.
77
00:02:58,281 --> 00:03:01,617
Oh, and I suppose you'd
call this an overreaction.
78
00:03:01,619 --> 00:03:02,952
Hayley, turn on the stove.
79
00:03:02,954 --> 00:03:05,154
Steve, time me.
80
00:03:05,156 --> 00:03:06,522
Fire!
81
00:03:07,691 --> 00:03:11,693
Can I just say that I
have a needle inside me?!
82
00:03:11,695 --> 00:03:13,895
Whoa!
83
00:03:13,897 --> 00:03:16,031
- Time.
- Enough, Stan.
84
00:03:16,033 --> 00:03:19,300
I'm obviously gonna give
you the raffle ticket.
85
00:03:19,302 --> 00:03:21,770
Do you mean it?
I get to go fire-manning?
86
00:03:21,772 --> 00:03:24,640
Yeah, Stan,
I just hope it makes you happy.
87
00:03:24,642 --> 00:03:28,010
Oh, it does, Francine. It really does.
88
00:03:31,262 --> 00:03:32,436
♪♪
89
00:03:32,437 --> 00:03:34,571
Hey, thanks for helping me present
90
00:03:34,573 --> 00:03:35,972
this environmental report.
91
00:03:35,974 --> 00:03:38,521
I-I get so nervous speaking in public.
92
00:03:38,522 --> 00:03:40,643
No, thank you, Hayley.
93
00:03:40,645 --> 00:03:43,287
For showing me what's really
going on in this town.
94
00:03:43,288 --> 00:03:44,748
These corporations.
95
00:03:45,056 --> 00:03:46,720
These sleazeballs.
96
00:03:47,103 --> 00:03:48,903
- These thugs.
- [HOCKS]
97
00:03:48,928 --> 00:03:50,661
Stop spitting on me!
98
00:03:50,686 --> 00:03:53,573
Next up, Uncle... Roger?
99
00:03:53,574 --> 00:03:55,324
The topic of biodiversity loss
100
00:03:55,326 --> 00:03:58,061
and its effect on local
grasslands and mangroves.
101
00:03:58,063 --> 00:03:59,515
Oof, now I'm nervous.
102
00:03:59,516 --> 00:04:01,364
You got this.
103
00:04:05,270 --> 00:04:07,070
Alright, trees in the park,
blah blah blah.
104
00:04:07,072 --> 00:04:09,655
Cut 'em all down, I say.
Here's the real deal.
105
00:04:09,656 --> 00:04:12,137
The ancient art of Knife Throwing.
106
00:04:12,138 --> 00:04:13,542
God damn it.
107
00:04:13,544 --> 00:04:15,714
I am Rudolfo Mayerling.
108
00:04:15,715 --> 00:04:18,850
After years spent quietly
perfecting my craft...
109
00:04:18,852 --> 00:04:20,919
and in court with a badly
wounded assistant...
110
00:04:20,921 --> 00:04:23,455
I am here to announce
a two-night performance
111
00:04:23,457 --> 00:04:27,926
in which I will present the most
daring act ever put to stage.
112
00:04:27,928 --> 00:04:31,263
And for the big finish
of my presentation...
113
00:04:32,799 --> 00:04:34,666
CROWD: Ohh!
114
00:04:35,551 --> 00:04:37,752
Flyers for my show.
115
00:04:37,754 --> 00:04:39,620
Oh, wait, I grabbed the wrong stack.
116
00:04:39,622 --> 00:04:41,778
High school air guitar competition?
117
00:04:41,803 --> 00:04:43,053
Oh, damn, I could win that.
118
00:04:43,078 --> 00:04:45,046
Anyway, come to my knife show.
119
00:04:45,414 --> 00:04:47,814
♪♪
120
00:04:47,816 --> 00:04:50,351
You know, Klaus, I'm a patient woman,
121
00:04:50,353 --> 00:04:53,554
but it's like they're not
even trying to resurrect
122
00:04:53,556 --> 00:04:54,986
the World's Fair.
123
00:04:55,490 --> 00:04:56,447
[CELLPHONE RINGS]
124
00:04:56,448 --> 00:04:59,548
Oh, it's our little firefighter.
125
00:04:59,873 --> 00:05:02,040
- Hi, honey.
- Not good, actually.
126
00:05:02,042 --> 00:05:03,642
It's not like my dreams at all.
127
00:05:03,644 --> 00:05:05,978
I thought it would be 60% fighting fires
128
00:05:05,980 --> 00:05:07,446
and the other half shooting the breeze.
129
00:05:07,448 --> 00:05:09,982
But they got me cookin'
casseroles 'round the clock,
130
00:05:09,984 --> 00:05:11,596
and I think they're bullying me.
131
00:05:11,621 --> 00:05:16,032
Unless, is, "Hurry up,
casser-hole" a compliment?
132
00:05:16,657 --> 00:05:18,391
Aw, God, I knew it.
133
00:05:18,416 --> 00:05:20,882
The only thing I get to
do is drive the truck...
134
00:05:20,884 --> 00:05:21,792
Really?
135
00:05:21,793 --> 00:05:22,951
That sounds amazing.
136
00:05:22,953 --> 00:05:24,820
Can I finish? Can I finish?
137
00:05:24,822 --> 00:05:27,022
I can only use it to go to Trader Joe's
138
00:05:27,024 --> 00:05:29,157
for more casserole ingredients.
139
00:05:29,159 --> 00:05:32,828
Well, Stan, you could always
just not do any of this.
140
00:05:32,830 --> 00:05:35,363
Quit? I knew you wouldn't get it.
141
00:05:35,365 --> 00:05:38,500
Thank God I'm here,
surrounded by my real friends.
142
00:05:38,502 --> 00:05:40,969
Alright, I gotta go.
The guys put a shit-ton
143
00:05:40,971 --> 00:05:43,005
of IcyHot on my balls and anus.
144
00:05:48,578 --> 00:05:51,247
So, what do we need to
get to fix the kitchen?
145
00:05:51,248 --> 00:05:53,515
Plaster, some primer,
146
00:05:53,517 --> 00:05:55,682
three people that know
what they're doing.
147
00:05:56,253 --> 00:05:58,320
STAN: Excuse me. Sorry. I know, I know.
148
00:05:58,322 --> 00:06:00,585
I'm sorry. It's a firetruck, okay?
149
00:06:00,586 --> 00:06:03,125
Wow, they really do send him here.
150
00:06:03,127 --> 00:06:05,193
- [HORN HONKING]
- You can't park that here!
151
00:06:05,195 --> 00:06:08,239
Gimme a break. I just need
10 spots in a row to open up.
152
00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:09,652
Ugh, great.
153
00:06:09,653 --> 00:06:12,801
You know he's gonna bring
home all that frustration
154
00:06:12,803 --> 00:06:14,136
and drag us down with him.
155
00:06:14,138 --> 00:06:16,129
They should just let him put out a fire.
156
00:06:16,130 --> 00:06:18,073
Throw him a bone, ya know?
157
00:06:18,075 --> 00:06:21,610
That might be what we all need.
158
00:06:21,612 --> 00:06:23,354
[FARTS]
159
00:06:23,658 --> 00:06:25,936
Mind cracking the window if you...
160
00:06:27,445 --> 00:06:30,713
A little fire is all he needs.
161
00:06:30,715 --> 00:06:32,731
- This'll do.
- _
162
00:06:33,183 --> 00:06:36,518
And I know I've got
matches in here somewhere.
163
00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:38,454
Phone. Brick.
164
00:06:38,456 --> 00:06:41,123
- What up, Franny-y-y-y!
- Got 'em.
165
00:06:43,928 --> 00:06:45,394
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS]
166
00:06:45,396 --> 00:06:46,929
[BLOWS]
167
00:06:46,931 --> 00:06:48,330
[GLASS SHATTERS]
168
00:06:48,332 --> 00:06:53,469
♪♪
169
00:06:53,471 --> 00:06:58,711
♪♪
170
00:06:58,712 --> 00:06:59,916
Hi.
171
00:07:00,578 --> 00:07:02,398
Oh, my.
172
00:07:06,786 --> 00:07:07,837
Stan!
173
00:07:08,352 --> 00:07:09,818
I-I...
174
00:07:09,820 --> 00:07:11,620
Aye aye aye is right.
175
00:07:11,622 --> 00:07:12,888
That fire was hot.
176
00:07:12,890 --> 00:07:14,090
And I put it out.
177
00:07:14,092 --> 00:07:16,496
Did you see? I'm a firefighter.
178
00:07:16,497 --> 00:07:19,095
That felt. So good.
179
00:07:19,097 --> 00:07:20,763
Yeah, it...
180
00:07:20,765 --> 00:07:22,765
- did.
- I wanna do it again.
181
00:07:22,767 --> 00:07:25,301
- I need to.
- Me, too.
182
00:07:25,303 --> 00:07:26,835
[HORN HONKS]
183
00:07:26,837 --> 00:07:28,304
What? I'm a hero.
184
00:07:28,306 --> 00:07:29,371
I know that!
185
00:07:29,373 --> 00:07:31,841
These are now honks of support!
186
00:07:34,794 --> 00:07:38,458
And since I put the fire out
and got the casserole fixings...
187
00:07:38,459 --> 00:07:40,726
maple bacon sweet potato
for the win, beyotch...
188
00:07:40,728 --> 00:07:43,195
the whole team said I'm one of them now.
189
00:07:43,197 --> 00:07:44,948
More Crêpes Suzette, anyone?
190
00:07:44,973 --> 00:07:45,833
TOGETHER: No, thank you.
191
00:07:45,834 --> 00:07:48,889
I'm gonna get to go on
calls for actual fires.
192
00:07:48,890 --> 00:07:50,664
Opa!
193
00:07:53,253 --> 00:07:54,931
Okay, I'd better shove off.
194
00:07:54,932 --> 00:07:56,932
Walk me to the door, my beloveds?
195
00:07:56,934 --> 00:07:59,135
- Sure.
- You got it, Pops.
196
00:08:01,139 --> 00:08:03,939
Alright, lady, what's the deal?
197
00:08:03,941 --> 00:08:07,609
I saw your face after
you started that fire.
198
00:08:07,611 --> 00:08:09,811
Did you... like it?
199
00:08:09,813 --> 00:08:11,013
No!
200
00:08:11,015 --> 00:08:12,614
I-I dunno.
201
00:08:12,616 --> 00:08:16,151
There was something
about striking the match,
202
00:08:16,153 --> 00:08:21,557
seeing the flame grow
and become so untamed.
203
00:08:21,559 --> 00:08:24,494
I did feel this release.
204
00:08:24,496 --> 00:08:26,228
And you saw Stan.
205
00:08:26,230 --> 00:08:28,964
If it's not doing any
harm and makes things
206
00:08:28,966 --> 00:08:30,366
better around here...
207
00:08:30,368 --> 00:08:32,768
He was pleasant just now.
208
00:08:32,770 --> 00:08:36,572
So long as it doesn't become a
destructive fixation for you,
209
00:08:36,574 --> 00:08:39,108
which I'm seeing no
warning signs of yet,
210
00:08:39,110 --> 00:08:43,445
this could be a classic two
birds one stone situation.
211
00:08:43,447 --> 00:08:44,780
Aren't those the best?
212
00:08:44,782 --> 00:08:47,383
Like how cigarettes
taste good and suppress
213
00:08:47,385 --> 00:08:49,451
your appetite to keep you skinny.
214
00:08:49,453 --> 00:08:51,521
Yes! Yes.
215
00:08:51,523 --> 00:08:55,958
A wonderful comparison
to a wonderful product.
216
00:08:58,262 --> 00:09:02,064
For years,
my knife throwing peers have bored us
217
00:09:02,066 --> 00:09:04,400
with displays of
sticking the knife's tip
218
00:09:04,402 --> 00:09:06,802
within a fraction of an
inch of their subject.
219
00:09:06,804 --> 00:09:08,270
- Can we go?
- We live here.
220
00:09:08,272 --> 00:09:12,875
Tonight, I will debut the mark
of the "Artful Wound."
221
00:09:12,877 --> 00:09:15,545
For a true master does not miss.
222
00:09:15,547 --> 00:09:16,612
But cuts...
223
00:09:16,614 --> 00:09:18,414
and draws a single.
224
00:09:18,416 --> 00:09:20,750
Drop. Of blood.
225
00:09:20,752 --> 00:09:22,218
Sa-sah!
226
00:09:22,220 --> 00:09:23,285
Oh, shit.
227
00:09:23,287 --> 00:09:25,354
Okay, this is gonna be bad.
228
00:09:25,356 --> 00:09:27,823
My assistant Benny.
229
00:09:27,825 --> 00:09:32,762
♪♪
230
00:09:32,764 --> 00:09:35,431
Let's begin.
231
00:09:35,433 --> 00:09:37,433
Knife man!
232
00:09:37,435 --> 00:09:38,735
Damn it.
233
00:09:40,804 --> 00:09:41,837
Pop dat!
234
00:09:41,839 --> 00:09:42,840
Whoa!
235
00:09:42,850 --> 00:09:44,907
Teeee'yop Corner!
236
00:09:44,909 --> 00:09:45,975
Left-handed!
237
00:09:45,977 --> 00:09:47,042
Bank Shot!
238
00:09:47,044 --> 00:09:49,511
Buncha knives at once!
239
00:09:49,513 --> 00:09:52,381
Benny, stop flinching,
it's making me nervous.
240
00:09:52,383 --> 00:09:54,383
- Roger.
- Oh, hey, Steve.
241
00:09:54,385 --> 00:09:55,451
Stop doing this.
242
00:09:55,453 --> 00:09:57,319
Oh, don't worry.
This is all part of the act.
243
00:09:57,321 --> 00:09:58,588
They don't want to see perfection.
244
00:09:58,590 --> 00:10:01,390
They want to think
something could go wrong.
245
00:10:01,392 --> 00:10:02,992
People are so sick.
246
00:10:02,994 --> 00:10:05,727
Now for my final throw of the evening.
247
00:10:05,729 --> 00:10:08,730
I present... the Artful Wound.
248
00:10:08,732 --> 00:10:09,865
[AUDIENCE GASPS]
249
00:10:09,867 --> 00:10:12,268
Shame! Shame on you!
250
00:10:12,270 --> 00:10:15,004
This is gonna be insane.
251
00:10:15,006 --> 00:10:22,344
♪♪
252
00:10:22,346 --> 00:10:23,813
Aaaaaah!
253
00:10:23,815 --> 00:10:26,783
- [AUDIENCE GASPS]
- Ooh, baby!
254
00:10:30,021 --> 00:10:32,522
No one'll miss this thing.
255
00:10:37,161 --> 00:10:38,895
[GLASS SHATTERS]
256
00:10:42,233 --> 00:10:44,133
Oh!
257
00:10:47,839 --> 00:10:50,506
A barn out in the boonies?
258
00:10:50,508 --> 00:10:52,508
The heck happened?
259
00:10:55,579 --> 00:10:57,579
Chief, this wrapper
looks just like the one
260
00:10:57,581 --> 00:10:59,315
from the Dumpster fire I put out.
261
00:11:01,986 --> 00:11:03,919
I kept this as a souvenir.
262
00:11:03,921 --> 00:11:05,655
Could it have been the same person?
263
00:11:05,657 --> 00:11:07,523
Great instincts, Stan.
264
00:11:07,525 --> 00:11:08,724
What else do you see?
265
00:11:08,726 --> 00:11:10,792
- See?
- In the patterns.
266
00:11:10,794 --> 00:11:13,128
Me? Read fire patterns?
267
00:11:13,130 --> 00:11:14,596
Okay... um...
268
00:11:14,598 --> 00:11:16,866
this spot... tells me...
269
00:11:16,868 --> 00:11:19,401
she's a woman? A mother?
270
00:11:19,403 --> 00:11:22,872
Um, overshadowed by a
bigger personality at home.
271
00:11:22,874 --> 00:11:24,474
She's always making sacrifices.
272
00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:27,009
Well, we can all see
the surface patterns.
273
00:11:27,011 --> 00:11:29,145
Go deeper.
274
00:11:29,147 --> 00:11:32,348
Drinks to cope,
but it's not doing the job anymore.
275
00:11:32,350 --> 00:11:35,084
She's adopted,
fell down a well as a child,
276
00:11:35,086 --> 00:11:38,420
stints in acting,
body building, muffin sales,
277
00:11:38,422 --> 00:11:40,822
had her vagina displayed in a museum...
278
00:11:40,824 --> 00:11:42,224
That one's just obvious.
279
00:11:42,226 --> 00:11:45,561
And by the looks of it,
she's just getting started.
280
00:11:45,563 --> 00:11:46,628
But so.
281
00:11:46,630 --> 00:11:47,697
Am.
282
00:11:47,699 --> 00:11:49,431
I.
283
00:11:49,433 --> 00:11:51,567
It could also be a guy, I guess.
284
00:11:51,569 --> 00:11:52,702
♪♪
285
00:11:52,704 --> 00:11:55,771
♪ Only you, baby ♪
286
00:11:55,773 --> 00:12:00,309
♪ Can put out this fire ♪
287
00:12:00,311 --> 00:12:03,779
♪ Only you, baby ♪
288
00:12:03,781 --> 00:12:06,315
♪ Can put out this fire ♪
289
00:12:06,317 --> 00:12:09,184
♪ Burning in my soul ♪
290
00:12:09,186 --> 00:12:10,186
♪ Only you, baby ♪
291
00:12:10,188 --> 00:12:11,921
WOMAN: Casseroles.
292
00:12:11,923 --> 00:12:15,358
♪ Can put out this fire ♪
293
00:12:16,728 --> 00:12:19,795
♪ Only you, baby ♪
294
00:12:19,797 --> 00:12:20,930
Francine!
295
00:12:24,802 --> 00:12:26,468
What are you doing here?
296
00:12:26,470 --> 00:12:27,537
Um...
297
00:12:27,539 --> 00:12:29,272
l-looking for this.
298
00:12:32,476 --> 00:12:35,745
In any event, I'm glad
you're here to see me in action.
299
00:12:35,747 --> 00:12:39,215
There's an arsonist on the loose
and I'm the lead investigator.
300
00:12:39,217 --> 00:12:42,084
They're letting you move up fast.
301
00:12:42,086 --> 00:12:43,553
Yeah, it's honestly pretty concerning.
302
00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:44,887
I've done zero training.
303
00:12:44,889 --> 00:12:48,023
But that won't stop me
from catching this crook.
304
00:12:48,025 --> 00:12:50,025
Nothing will.
305
00:12:50,027 --> 00:12:52,428
♪♪
306
00:12:52,430 --> 00:12:55,631
Though the chapter of my life
as a firefighter is ending,
307
00:12:55,633 --> 00:12:57,767
and so soon after declaring
that nothing would stop me
308
00:12:57,769 --> 00:12:59,368
from catching the arsonist,
309
00:12:59,370 --> 00:13:02,037
I cherish the fact that
the memories and friends
310
00:13:02,039 --> 00:13:04,440
I made along the way are forever.
311
00:13:04,442 --> 00:13:07,376
Firefighters number three
and number one especially.
312
00:13:07,378 --> 00:13:08,710
You must be relieved.
313
00:13:08,712 --> 00:13:11,847
Now that Stan's retiring, you can, too.
314
00:13:11,849 --> 00:13:13,315
Retire?
315
00:13:13,317 --> 00:13:15,717
I'm sure he'll still wanna put some out.
316
00:13:15,719 --> 00:13:18,387
I'll keep the fires
going just to be safe.
317
00:13:18,389 --> 00:13:21,390
Francine, you have a problem.
318
00:13:21,392 --> 00:13:24,193
This is going to be a joke,
but please don't laugh.
319
00:13:24,195 --> 00:13:25,527
You're playing with fire.
320
00:13:25,529 --> 00:13:26,929
CHIEF: Hey, Stan,
321
00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:29,131
what was your favorite
fire from this week?
322
00:13:29,133 --> 00:13:30,933
Oh, man, there were so many.
323
00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:34,736
The old barn, the old go-kart park,
the match factory.
324
00:13:34,738 --> 00:13:37,006
FRANCINE: [THINKING] There were so many,
325
00:13:37,008 --> 00:13:39,108
and more to come.
326
00:13:42,213 --> 00:13:43,679
Where you going, honey?
327
00:13:43,681 --> 00:13:45,281
I'm about to hand off the arson case
328
00:13:45,283 --> 00:13:47,483
to the new volunteer for next week.
329
00:13:48,820 --> 00:13:50,886
Yeah-yeah-yeah, great. I gotta run.
330
00:13:50,888 --> 00:13:52,455
We need more stuff for the crap.
331
00:13:54,426 --> 00:13:56,325
Francine, you dropped...
332
00:13:57,695 --> 00:14:03,165
♪♪
333
00:14:03,167 --> 00:14:04,766
What happened to your dress?
334
00:14:04,768 --> 00:14:06,302
Isn't it obvious?
335
00:14:06,304 --> 00:14:07,714
I'm tearing off pieces,
336
00:14:07,739 --> 00:14:09,371
shovin' 'em in a bottle of vodka,
337
00:14:09,373 --> 00:14:11,641
and using it to start fires.
338
00:14:11,643 --> 00:14:13,643
[BOTH LAUGH]
339
00:14:13,645 --> 00:14:14,644
[LAUGHING]
340
00:14:14,646 --> 00:14:15,978
Wait, no.
341
00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:17,580
She was really saying real.
342
00:14:19,166 --> 00:14:20,366
[HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS]
343
00:14:20,391 --> 00:14:22,439
♪ Oh, makin' those flames grow ♪
344
00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:25,074
♪ You know I gotta
start those in-fer-nos ♪
345
00:14:25,099 --> 00:14:28,634
♪ But watch me maintain,
cuz a Franny like me ♪
346
00:14:28,636 --> 00:14:30,436
♪ Is to-tally sane ♪
347
00:14:30,438 --> 00:14:32,705
♪ I'm sane in the membrane ♪
348
00:14:32,707 --> 00:14:34,373
♪ I'm sane, in my brains ♪
349
00:14:34,375 --> 00:14:38,244
ANNOUNCER: Okay, that was
K-97's "Beats with no lyrics,
350
00:14:38,246 --> 00:14:40,402
so you can freestyle rap in the car"
Tuesdays.
351
00:14:40,427 --> 00:14:42,493
Up next, a Latin Trap Beat...
352
00:14:42,518 --> 00:14:44,118
[CELLPHONE RINGS]
353
00:14:44,143 --> 00:14:45,649
Helloooo.
354
00:14:45,650 --> 00:14:47,917
You're the arsonist. How could you?
355
00:14:47,919 --> 00:14:52,522
Well, it started because I
wanted to help you, like usual.
356
00:14:52,524 --> 00:14:55,725
But then it awakened
something irresistible in me.
357
00:14:55,727 --> 00:14:58,527
So what, you have some kind
of freak fire fetish now?
358
00:14:58,529 --> 00:15:01,197
Do you dress in all black
leather bondage outfits?
359
00:15:01,199 --> 00:15:02,598
With nothing covering your privates
360
00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:04,934
but, like, strips of tape?
361
00:15:04,936 --> 00:15:06,335
Cracking...
362
00:15:06,337 --> 00:15:08,337
flaming whips and, uh...
363
00:15:08,339 --> 00:15:09,472
[GULPS]
364
00:15:09,474 --> 00:15:11,006
Sorry, I need a second.
365
00:15:11,008 --> 00:15:16,412
Listen, I know "society"
doesn't like "serial arsonists."
366
00:15:16,414 --> 00:15:20,083
So once I complete my masterpiece,
367
00:15:20,085 --> 00:15:22,017
where it all began,
368
00:15:22,019 --> 00:15:23,619
I'll be done.
369
00:15:23,621 --> 00:15:25,889
But more likely I'll do it forever
'cause I love it.
370
00:15:25,891 --> 00:15:28,624
Turn back now, or I'm turning you in.
371
00:15:28,626 --> 00:15:31,895
Ha! You're funnier than Ray Romano.
372
00:15:31,897 --> 00:15:33,830
You don't even know where I'll be.
373
00:15:35,366 --> 00:15:38,501
Wait. "Where it all began"?
374
00:15:38,503 --> 00:15:40,636
Oh, my God. It must be...
375
00:15:40,638 --> 00:15:42,171
Who are you talkin' to, Stan?
376
00:15:42,173 --> 00:15:43,306
Was it the arsonist?
377
00:15:43,308 --> 00:15:45,108
- How'd she get your number?
- Um...
378
00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:47,256
Stan, if you know something...
379
00:15:47,257 --> 00:15:48,511
Uhhhh...
380
00:15:48,513 --> 00:15:50,446
Spit it out, numb nuts.
381
00:15:50,448 --> 00:15:51,282
We have to hurry.
382
00:15:51,283 --> 00:15:52,949
She's gonna burn down the firehouse.
383
00:15:52,950 --> 00:15:54,850
- The firehouse?!
- Hey!
384
00:15:54,852 --> 00:15:56,986
Thanks for the invite
to your little cookout.
385
00:15:56,988 --> 00:16:01,124
Real cool to see that going
on right outside my window!
386
00:16:01,126 --> 00:16:02,959
[SPECTATOR COUGHS]
387
00:16:04,462 --> 00:16:07,863
Anyway, I will now shock and dazzle you
388
00:16:07,865 --> 00:16:10,533
with a grand Knife Throwing finale.
389
00:16:10,535 --> 00:16:13,536
First, I will need a volunteer.
390
00:16:13,538 --> 00:16:15,605
Yes, you in the back.
391
00:16:17,542 --> 00:16:18,741
STEVE: Oh, hey, Roger.
392
00:16:18,743 --> 00:16:20,876
Want to see this cute baby owl video?
393
00:16:20,878 --> 00:16:23,476
Hey, let go of my hand. Hey!
394
00:16:23,477 --> 00:16:24,810
Roger, stop it.
395
00:16:24,812 --> 00:16:26,746
Let go! This isn't funny.
396
00:16:26,748 --> 00:16:28,013
I'm not wearing that.
397
00:16:28,015 --> 00:16:30,750
Ow! Roger, please... Ow!
398
00:16:30,752 --> 00:16:32,351
What are you doing?!
399
00:16:32,353 --> 00:16:35,154
Roger. Seriously. Stop.
400
00:16:36,157 --> 00:16:37,757
I'm begging you!
401
00:16:37,759 --> 00:16:41,360
I'm just a child!
402
00:16:41,362 --> 00:16:42,762
Nooooooooooooo!
403
00:16:43,834 --> 00:16:47,499
Now, my Grand Finale... part one.
404
00:16:47,501 --> 00:16:49,501
Stop this!
405
00:16:49,503 --> 00:16:51,571
Denise, you need to get here right now.
406
00:16:51,573 --> 00:16:53,705
[CRYING]
407
00:16:53,707 --> 00:16:56,108
Aah! Aah!
408
00:16:56,110 --> 00:16:57,176
Aah! Aah!
409
00:16:57,178 --> 00:16:58,844
Aah! Aah!
410
00:16:58,846 --> 00:17:00,579
Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah!
411
00:17:00,581 --> 00:17:02,047
[AUDIENCE GASPS]
412
00:17:02,049 --> 00:17:04,116
Aah!
413
00:17:04,118 --> 00:17:06,485
[THUD, AUDIENCE GASPS]
414
00:17:10,792 --> 00:17:12,625
I'm... alive.
415
00:17:15,196 --> 00:17:16,562
[AUDIENCE GASPS]
416
00:17:18,932 --> 00:17:20,532
The Artful Wound.
417
00:17:20,534 --> 00:17:22,420
The Mark of the Master.
418
00:17:22,445 --> 00:17:24,804
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
419
00:17:24,806 --> 00:17:26,138
Thank you, thank you.
420
00:17:26,140 --> 00:17:29,380
- Now, the true Finale.
- Wait, what?
421
00:17:29,405 --> 00:17:32,478
See, my act was always about
holding a mirror up to you,
422
00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:35,080
the audience, and your sordid cravings.
423
00:17:35,082 --> 00:17:36,215
Look under your seats.
424
00:17:36,217 --> 00:17:37,955
Some of you will find a knife.
425
00:17:37,980 --> 00:17:41,020
I invite you now to face
your darkest desire,
426
00:17:41,022 --> 00:17:42,354
if you dare.
427
00:17:42,356 --> 00:17:43,555
By throwing...
428
00:17:43,557 --> 00:17:44,590
a knife...
429
00:17:44,592 --> 00:17:46,091
at me. Ow. Ow!
430
00:17:46,093 --> 00:17:47,493
Ow. Uhp. Ow.
431
00:17:47,495 --> 00:17:49,228
Wow, that's a lotta knives hitting me.
432
00:17:49,230 --> 00:17:52,764
Don't remember putting this many
under... the... seats.
433
00:17:52,766 --> 00:17:57,837
Uhp, okay, some of you clearly
brought knives from home.
434
00:17:57,839 --> 00:17:59,305
[SIREN WAILING]
435
00:17:59,724 --> 00:18:02,107
Oh, I can't wait to bust this sicko.
436
00:18:02,109 --> 00:18:04,176
- She's a monster!
- An animal!
437
00:18:04,178 --> 00:18:05,377
She's human!
438
00:18:05,379 --> 00:18:06,445
She's hurting.
439
00:18:06,447 --> 00:18:08,047
And I love her.
440
00:18:09,183 --> 00:18:12,184
I wanna spray her with water so friggin'
bad!
441
00:18:12,186 --> 00:18:13,318
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
442
00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:15,655
[HORN HONKING]
443
00:18:21,801 --> 00:18:23,996
No fire. What's goin' on?
444
00:18:23,998 --> 00:18:25,085
Borrowing this.
445
00:18:25,086 --> 00:18:27,132
[SIREN WAILING]
446
00:18:27,134 --> 00:18:28,267
Guys...
447
00:18:28,269 --> 00:18:30,337
if he doesn't bring that back...
448
00:18:30,672 --> 00:18:32,972
we'll have to close the fire station.
449
00:18:33,909 --> 00:18:36,376
♪♪
450
00:18:36,410 --> 00:18:37,476
[GLASS SHATTERS]
451
00:18:37,478 --> 00:18:39,078
[EXPLOSION]
452
00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:43,615
♪♪
453
00:18:43,617 --> 00:18:45,150
[GLASS SHATTERS]
454
00:18:45,152 --> 00:18:48,954
♪♪
455
00:18:49,232 --> 00:18:51,156
This feels good.
456
00:18:51,359 --> 00:18:53,083
But not the most good.
457
00:18:53,294 --> 00:18:55,450
I may have to burn a person next.
458
00:18:55,697 --> 00:18:57,290
- Francine!
- Aah!
459
00:18:57,899 --> 00:18:59,465
Well, hello to you, too.
460
00:19:00,634 --> 00:19:02,968
How'd you even know I'd be here?
461
00:19:02,970 --> 00:19:06,838
You said "where it all began,"
plus the Ray Romano jab.
462
00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:08,708
That could only mean one thing...
463
00:19:08,710 --> 00:19:11,110
You were going to the
place where we got married.
464
00:19:11,112 --> 00:19:12,678
Aah! Uhh!
465
00:19:14,722 --> 00:19:17,123
I booked our wedding
at my dream venue...
466
00:19:17,125 --> 00:19:19,926
Knee Slapperz Comedy Club,
but Ray Romano
467
00:19:19,928 --> 00:19:22,795
showed up five minutes
before to do a surprise set,
468
00:19:22,797 --> 00:19:24,062
and we got bumped.
469
00:19:24,064 --> 00:19:26,799
Yeah, and you had a meltdown.
470
00:19:26,801 --> 00:19:29,201
But you scrambled and found this place.
471
00:19:29,203 --> 00:19:32,070
You decorated the bins,
filled them with ice...
472
00:19:32,072 --> 00:19:35,007
a family of raccoons
were the flower girls.
473
00:19:35,009 --> 00:19:36,042
Aah!
474
00:19:37,388 --> 00:19:38,854
Ta-daaa!
475
00:19:38,879 --> 00:19:40,879
Whoa!
476
00:19:40,881 --> 00:19:42,748
It's too late, Stan.
477
00:19:42,750 --> 00:19:43,882
I can't stop.
478
00:19:43,884 --> 00:19:45,217
Of course you can.
479
00:19:45,219 --> 00:19:46,619
You only became an arsonist
480
00:19:46,621 --> 00:19:48,821
because I pushed you
toward it all these years.
481
00:19:48,823 --> 00:19:51,223
Arsonist is such an ugly term.
482
00:19:51,225 --> 00:19:53,425
We prefer Friend of the Flame.
483
00:19:53,427 --> 00:19:54,761
Or fire [BLEEP]
484
00:19:54,763 --> 00:19:57,964
I need to learn how to handle
my disappointment myself,
485
00:19:57,966 --> 00:19:59,832
or at least take it out on the kids.
486
00:19:59,834 --> 00:20:01,834
You do take it out on the kids.
487
00:20:01,836 --> 00:20:03,435
I could do it more.
488
00:20:03,437 --> 00:20:05,437
Oh, Stan.
489
00:20:05,439 --> 00:20:07,039
Thank you.
490
00:20:07,041 --> 00:20:09,241
To be clear though,
this is messed up, what you're doing,
491
00:20:09,243 --> 00:20:10,977
and I think you should
see a doctor in addition
492
00:20:10,979 --> 00:20:12,911
to me being, like, more attentive.
493
00:20:12,913 --> 00:20:14,513
Oh, yeah yeah yeah yeah, totes.
494
00:20:14,515 --> 00:20:16,849
- [EXPLOSION]
- [COUGHING]
495
00:20:16,851 --> 00:20:18,917
How are we gonna get out of here?
496
00:20:18,919 --> 00:20:22,120
Baby, all you do is sacrifice for me.
497
00:20:22,122 --> 00:20:24,256
It's time I repay the favor.
498
00:20:24,258 --> 00:20:27,393
We're gonna leave exactly how
we did on our wedding day.
499
00:20:27,395 --> 00:20:31,002
Except this time,
I'm going to carry you.
500
00:20:31,465 --> 00:20:35,734
♪♪
501
00:20:35,736 --> 00:20:37,470
MAN: There's people in there!
502
00:20:37,472 --> 00:20:38,737
Someone help them!
503
00:20:38,739 --> 00:20:39,872
WOMAN: There they are!
504
00:20:39,874 --> 00:20:41,540
They're okay!
505
00:20:41,542 --> 00:20:43,518
- Ohhhh!
- Ohhhh!
506
00:20:43,673 --> 00:20:45,011
He's not okay!
507
00:20:45,013 --> 00:20:47,046
He's in terrible shape!
508
00:20:49,809 --> 00:20:51,777
He's gonna say something!
509
00:20:52,899 --> 00:20:56,300
[SHRIEKS]
510
00:20:56,325 --> 00:20:57,825
Bye! Have a great time!
511
00:21:00,126 --> 00:21:01,944
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
34605
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