Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,275 --> 00:00:07,318
- Hey.
- Hey.
2
00:00:07,395 --> 00:00:08,457
Come on in. We're just setting up.
3
00:00:08,534 --> 00:00:09,874
- Lulu, calm down.
- I am calm.
4
00:00:09,951 --> 00:00:12,095
Connor, you drive like a maniac.
5
00:00:12,172 --> 00:00:13,435
Hell yeah, I do.
6
00:00:13,512 --> 00:00:16,119
♪ Ba dah dah dah ♪
Big announcement, people.
7
00:00:16,195 --> 00:00:20,038
So exciting... a chapter
from "Home Economics"
8
00:00:20,115 --> 00:00:22,039
is in this month's "Harper's Magazine."
9
00:00:22,115 --> 00:00:23,382
[CHEERING]
10
00:00:23,459 --> 00:00:24,921
[LAUGHTER]
11
00:00:24,997 --> 00:00:26,880
Oh, big publicity win for the company.
12
00:00:26,957 --> 00:00:29,032
Would've been cooler if it was
in "Hoopers" magazine, though.
13
00:00:29,109 --> 00:00:30,216
What's "Hoopers"?
14
00:00:30,293 --> 00:00:31,989
It's a magazine for people
who own basketball teams?
15
00:00:32,066 --> 00:00:33,218
Keep up, Tom.
16
00:00:33,295 --> 00:00:34,278
What chapter did they go with?
17
00:00:34,355 --> 00:00:35,716
Uh, the one where we got married.
18
00:00:35,792 --> 00:00:37,335
"Bride the comes here"?
19
00:00:37,412 --> 00:00:39,678
Bad news, they printed
the title backwards.
20
00:00:39,755 --> 00:00:41,878
Oh, you would get it
if you were at their wedding.
21
00:00:41,955 --> 00:00:44,016
Why is there an illustration
of a crying bride?
22
00:00:44,093 --> 00:00:45,896
Yeah, isn't this supposed
to be like the happiest day
23
00:00:45,973 --> 00:00:46,858
of your life?
24
00:00:46,935 --> 00:00:48,048
It was...
25
00:00:48,125 --> 00:00:49,432
I mean, eventually.
26
00:00:49,509 --> 00:00:50,507
[CHUCKLING]
27
00:00:50,584 --> 00:00:53,542
[HIP-HOP MUSIC]
28
00:00:53,619 --> 00:00:57,575
♪ ♪
29
00:00:57,652 --> 00:00:59,535
- Well, that's not great.
- Ah, it can't be that bad.
30
00:00:59,612 --> 00:01:00,841
They're not even using the siren.
31
00:01:00,917 --> 00:01:02,838
[SIREN BLARES] Oh, boy.
32
00:01:02,915 --> 00:01:04,155
♪ Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪
33
00:01:06,262 --> 00:01:07,296
♪ Let's go! ♪
34
00:01:07,373 --> 00:01:08,429
♪ Up in the club with my homies ♪
35
00:01:08,506 --> 00:01:09,904
♪ Trying to get a little V-I ♪
36
00:01:09,980 --> 00:01:12,061
♪ Keep it down on the low key, low key ♪
37
00:01:12,138 --> 00:01:14,310
♪ You should know how it feels ♪
38
00:01:14,387 --> 00:01:15,964
- ♪ Hey, hey ♪
- Steady, Tommy.
39
00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:18,011
Don't want to impale
you on your big day.
40
00:01:18,088 --> 00:01:20,050
I don't play favourites
with my children.
41
00:01:20,127 --> 00:01:22,085
- But if I did...
- Oh, come on, Mum.
42
00:01:22,162 --> 00:01:24,238
No one's keeping score around here.
43
00:01:24,315 --> 00:01:27,119
My first book is coming out.
We bought a house.
44
00:01:27,196 --> 00:01:29,962
I wasn't gonna tell you
guys yet, but I did it.
45
00:01:30,039 --> 00:01:31,499
I quit my copywriting job at Myspace
46
00:01:31,576 --> 00:01:33,535
to focus full time on fiction.
47
00:01:33,612 --> 00:01:35,840
My son, the professional novelist.
48
00:01:35,917 --> 00:01:37,531
Look out, David Baldacci.
49
00:01:37,607 --> 00:01:39,260
- Oh.
- Wow, novelist, so cool.
50
00:01:39,336 --> 00:01:40,681
It's like being a
college lacrosse player...
51
00:01:40,758 --> 00:01:42,486
Doesn't count for jack.
52
00:01:42,563 --> 00:01:44,247
Connor, we go to all
of your lacrosse games.
53
00:01:44,324 --> 00:01:48,440
You know, once I go pro, I'll
be making 30K a year, easy.
54
00:01:48,516 --> 00:01:50,323
You're gonna have to
support him one day.
55
00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:52,678
- Oh, I know.
- Sarah, it's almost time.
56
00:01:52,754 --> 00:01:54,204
Shouldn't you do your hair and makeup?
57
00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:56,086
I did it already.
58
00:01:56,163 --> 00:01:57,124
Oh!
59
00:01:57,201 --> 00:01:58,468
So where's your date?
60
00:01:58,545 --> 00:02:00,082
Uh, he's around here somewhere.
61
00:02:00,158 --> 00:02:01,464
Hey, hey, hey.
62
00:02:01,541 --> 00:02:03,347
What! Wasabi?
63
00:02:03,424 --> 00:02:04,884
Hey, Dennis.
64
00:02:04,961 --> 00:02:06,651
Hello, my little butterfly sugar baby.
65
00:02:06,728 --> 00:02:08,148
I keep having to track you down.
66
00:02:08,225 --> 00:02:09,992
You're not trying to ditch me, are you?
67
00:02:10,069 --> 00:02:11,568
Oh, no, no, no, I'm just
busy with bridesmaid stuff.
68
00:02:11,645 --> 00:02:13,022
You are looking sharp, Dennis.
69
00:02:13,099 --> 00:02:15,442
Thank you, Mr. H. Game recognise game.
70
00:02:15,519 --> 00:02:17,440
This is Jonas Brothers
for Tuxedo Junction.
71
00:02:17,517 --> 00:02:21,167
So stylish and also
financially successful.
72
00:02:21,244 --> 00:02:22,933
- Mm.
- Look at the two of you,
73
00:02:23,009 --> 00:02:24,354
- perfect match.
- Right?
74
00:02:24,431 --> 00:02:26,198
Imagine the "babaes."
75
00:02:26,275 --> 00:02:27,890
We should start tonight.
76
00:02:27,967 --> 00:02:30,193
All right, well, I got a
hankerin' for a drinkerin'.
77
00:02:30,270 --> 00:02:31,386
Join me at the barrio?
78
00:02:31,462 --> 00:02:32,921
Let's go.
79
00:02:32,998 --> 00:02:35,073
OK, Sarah, this is getting ridiculous.
80
00:02:35,150 --> 00:02:36,957
Yeah, you gotta come out to Mum and Dad.
81
00:02:37,033 --> 00:02:38,300
This is cray.
82
00:02:38,377 --> 00:02:39,837
You've had serious girlfriends.
83
00:02:39,913 --> 00:02:41,682
Well, one serious college girlfriend.
84
00:02:41,759 --> 00:02:43,448
And you know how Mum is.
85
00:02:43,525 --> 00:02:45,023
I mean, when I got a nose
ring, she took to her bed
86
00:02:45,100 --> 00:02:46,369
for three days.
87
00:02:46,445 --> 00:02:48,366
I mean, Dennis is pretty sweet.
88
00:02:48,443 --> 00:02:49,903
Do not get attached, OK?
89
00:02:49,979 --> 00:02:52,092
He's just here to get Mum off my back
90
00:02:52,169 --> 00:02:53,782
so that everyone can enjoy the day.
91
00:02:53,859 --> 00:02:55,281
Well, Marina and I did a pretty sick job
92
00:02:55,358 --> 00:02:56,895
planning this wedding. I don't think
93
00:02:56,972 --> 00:02:58,585
anyone's gonna
have trouble enjoying today.
94
00:02:58,662 --> 00:03:00,967
Papi, can you please try
to enjoy yourself today?
95
00:03:01,044 --> 00:03:03,156
Ay, sí, calm down, Roberto.
96
00:03:03,232 --> 00:03:05,116
How am I supposed to calm
down when my daughter is
97
00:03:05,193 --> 00:03:06,538
marrying a man who has no job?
98
00:03:06,615 --> 00:03:07,844
He's a writer!
99
00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:09,457
Same thing.
100
00:03:09,533 --> 00:03:11,379
How is this man supposed
to support a family?
101
00:03:11,455 --> 00:03:13,958
- I have a job too, Dad, remember?
- Oh, yeah.
102
00:03:14,035 --> 00:03:16,296
My daughter works all
day in the law office
103
00:03:16,372 --> 00:03:17,756
so Tom can stay home and
write his little stories.
104
00:03:17,833 --> 00:03:19,754
That's not fair.
105
00:03:19,831 --> 00:03:22,020
Some days, he doesn't
write anything at all.
106
00:03:22,097 --> 00:03:23,517
Oh, por favor, mi amor.
107
00:03:23,594 --> 00:03:25,401
Tom and I are gonna be fine.
108
00:03:25,477 --> 00:03:27,629
Tom and I are gonna
be fine, right, Mommy?
109
00:03:27,705 --> 00:03:29,166
Of course.
110
00:03:29,243 --> 00:03:31,509
No, I mean, I love him so much
111
00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:32,931
and I'm excited to marry him.
112
00:03:33,008 --> 00:03:35,121
But if I'm being honest,
113
00:03:35,197 --> 00:03:37,080
him quitting his job when he did,
114
00:03:37,157 --> 00:03:38,770
right after we signed a mortgage
115
00:03:38,846 --> 00:03:40,613
and paid for a wedding...
What if he, you know,
116
00:03:40,690 --> 00:03:42,919
doesn't make good choices?
117
00:03:42,996 --> 00:03:45,609
Have faith in your choices.
118
00:03:45,685 --> 00:03:47,106
You chose Tom.
119
00:03:47,182 --> 00:03:48,988
No matter what bumps in the road come,
120
00:03:49,065 --> 00:03:50,757
you'll handle it.
121
00:03:50,833 --> 00:03:52,831
[SIGHS] You're right, I'm just nervous.
122
00:03:52,908 --> 00:03:55,905
I'm getting married.
I'm getting married.
123
00:03:55,982 --> 00:03:57,595
[LAUGHTER]
124
00:03:57,671 --> 00:03:59,862
- Que bueno!
- Well, look at you, gorgeous.
125
00:03:59,939 --> 00:04:01,398
Hey.
126
00:04:01,475 --> 00:04:03,511
- OK.
- Your bouquet.
127
00:04:03,588 --> 00:04:05,201
Everything's set out there.
How are you feeling?
128
00:04:05,278 --> 00:04:07,008
Cool, great. Perfect, Great.
129
00:04:07,084 --> 00:04:08,698
- That's a lot of synonyms.
- Yeah.
130
00:04:08,774 --> 00:04:10,579
Could you bring me some
water or something?
131
00:04:10,656 --> 00:04:12,614
- Yeah.
- By something, I mean tequila.
132
00:04:12,691 --> 00:04:14,651
- No, I assumed.
- Thank you.
133
00:04:19,146 --> 00:04:22,373
So, yeah, I'm kind of the
MVP of my lacrosse team.
134
00:04:22,450 --> 00:04:24,758
I'm an attorney for a petroleum company.
135
00:04:24,834 --> 00:04:26,714
Word. So I bet seeing a futon in person
136
00:04:26,791 --> 00:04:27,828
would be a real thrill for ya.
137
00:04:27,904 --> 00:04:29,481
[GIGGLES] Uh-uh.
138
00:04:29,558 --> 00:04:30,770
That's cool.
139
00:04:30,847 --> 00:04:33,707
I'm an athlete, and sex can
negatively affect performance,
140
00:04:33,784 --> 00:04:36,281
so try to stay away from it anyways.
141
00:04:36,358 --> 00:04:37,817
What's up, man?
142
00:04:37,894 --> 00:04:39,622
Let me know if you need
any jokes for the vows.
143
00:04:39,699 --> 00:04:41,466
I've seen, like, every
episode of "American Dad."
144
00:04:41,543 --> 00:04:43,541
Thanks, bro, but I think
I got this covered.
145
00:04:43,618 --> 00:04:45,036
I'm a professional writer now.
146
00:04:46,078 --> 00:04:47,422
Aren't you technically unemployed?
147
00:04:47,498 --> 00:04:48,650
Aren't you technically a virgin?
148
00:04:48,727 --> 00:04:49,759
Mm.
149
00:04:49,836 --> 00:04:51,726
Hey, uh, I know you're
not officially open,
150
00:04:51,803 --> 00:04:53,339
but could I get a shot
of tequila for the bride?
151
00:04:53,416 --> 00:04:55,836
Sure. Any particular brand?
152
00:04:57,395 --> 00:04:59,947
- Sarah.
- Denise.
153
00:05:00,023 --> 00:05:02,135
What... what are you...
What are you doing here?
154
00:05:02,212 --> 00:05:03,520
Catering.
155
00:05:03,597 --> 00:05:05,210
Oh, right.
156
00:05:05,287 --> 00:05:06,708
It's my summer job while
I'm student teaching.
157
00:05:06,785 --> 00:05:08,590
- Mm-hmm.
- You?
158
00:05:08,666 --> 00:05:10,779
- It's my brother's wedding.
- Wow.
159
00:05:10,856 --> 00:05:12,508
So, yeah, this is so crazy.
160
00:05:12,585 --> 00:05:13,558
- This is so weird.
- Yeah.
161
00:05:13,635 --> 00:05:16,389
I haven't seen you since, um,
senior year, when... when we...
162
00:05:16,465 --> 00:05:17,422
We broke up.
163
00:05:17,499 --> 00:05:19,538
Right, that whole thing.
164
00:05:20,136 --> 00:05:22,267
I'll take your largest beer, please.
165
00:05:22,344 --> 00:05:23,957
Oh, um, we're actually not open.
166
00:05:24,034 --> 00:05:25,147
And this is just for the bride.
167
00:05:25,223 --> 00:05:26,800
This is also for the bride.
168
00:05:26,877 --> 00:05:30,533
She told me she wanted
un grande cervezas.
169
00:05:30,609 --> 00:05:31,602
No. No, no, no, no.
170
00:05:31,679 --> 00:05:32,945
Why don't we head in?
171
00:05:33,022 --> 00:05:34,453
The wedding's about to start.
172
00:05:34,530 --> 00:05:37,481
Hey, maybe we could catch
up later, if... if you...
173
00:05:37,557 --> 00:05:38,594
- Yeah, I do.
- OK.
174
00:05:38,671 --> 00:05:39,747
- I do want to.
- OK.
175
00:05:39,824 --> 00:05:40,708
All right, see you, Sarah.
176
00:05:40,785 --> 00:05:41,875
Bye, Denise.
177
00:05:42,936 --> 00:05:44,083
[WHISPERING] Oh, my god.
178
00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:46,970
Wait, like, Denise Denise,
the girl you dated in college?
179
00:05:47,046 --> 00:05:48,352
Mm-hmm, yep.
180
00:05:48,429 --> 00:05:49,368
Whoa.
181
00:05:49,445 --> 00:05:52,730
[MARIACHI MUSIC]
182
00:05:52,807 --> 00:05:58,227
♪ ♪
183
00:05:58,303 --> 00:05:59,636
OK.
184
00:06:01,031 --> 00:06:02,374
- This is it.
- OK.
185
00:06:02,450 --> 00:06:03,720
This is it.
186
00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:05,239
Mm, well, unless it's not.
187
00:06:05,316 --> 00:06:06,755
Papi.
188
00:06:07,598 --> 00:06:10,634
Hey, Papi, Roberto, sir.
189
00:06:10,711 --> 00:06:13,195
Thank you for... your daughter.
190
00:06:14,036 --> 00:06:15,197
Good luck.
191
00:06:16,812 --> 00:06:18,971
You look incredible.
192
00:06:19,048 --> 00:06:20,969
I do.
193
00:06:21,046 --> 00:06:22,966
Dearly beloved...
194
00:06:25,463 --> 00:06:27,231
[GASPS, COMMOTION]
195
00:06:27,308 --> 00:06:29,229
- Oh...
- What?
196
00:06:30,074 --> 00:06:31,995
You good?
197
00:06:32,675 --> 00:06:35,529
[SIREN WAILING]
198
00:06:35,605 --> 00:06:37,373
I mean, they said it
was just heatstroke.
199
00:06:37,450 --> 00:06:39,101
As an athlete, I know
signs of poor hydration
200
00:06:39,178 --> 00:06:40,143
when I see it.
201
00:06:40,219 --> 00:06:41,479
Yeah, he probably
just needs to cool down.
202
00:06:41,555 --> 00:06:43,478
They said they'd call us
when they're ready,
203
00:06:43,555 --> 00:06:44,581
and he'll come back and marry us.
204
00:06:44,658 --> 00:06:45,798
So we just wait?
205
00:06:45,875 --> 00:06:47,862
Well, in three hours,
we're gonna lose this venue
206
00:06:47,939 --> 00:06:49,821
to an Avatar-themed bar mitzvah.
207
00:06:49,898 --> 00:06:51,837
Oh, that movie's
[SNAPS FINGERS] so dank.
208
00:06:51,914 --> 00:06:53,599
So, what, we're just
supposed to cancel the wedding?
209
00:06:53,676 --> 00:06:54,839
We can't afford to cancel the wedding.
210
00:06:54,916 --> 00:06:56,735
I just quit my job.
Oh my god, I just quit my job.
211
00:06:56,812 --> 00:06:57,756
Was that a mistake?
212
00:06:57,833 --> 00:06:59,069
I thought you felt good about that.
213
00:06:59,146 --> 00:07:00,960
I do. I do.
214
00:07:01,037 --> 00:07:02,341
[WHISPERING] I don't.
215
00:07:02,417 --> 00:07:03,530
Wait, why don't you just do the party
216
00:07:03,606 --> 00:07:04,800
first and the ceremony second?
217
00:07:04,876 --> 00:07:06,681
Hey, buddy, uh, the adults
are talking right now.
218
00:07:06,758 --> 00:07:08,180
Wait, that's actually not a bad idea.
219
00:07:08,257 --> 00:07:09,319
I mean, have the reception.
220
00:07:09,395 --> 00:07:11,198
And by the time it's over,
then the priest will be back.
221
00:07:11,275 --> 00:07:12,558
- I mean, I don't know.
- Tom, it could work.
222
00:07:12,635 --> 00:07:13,798
Everybody's already here.
223
00:07:13,875 --> 00:07:15,199
And so many people
came from out of town.
224
00:07:15,276 --> 00:07:16,599
[INAUDIBLE SPANISH]
225
00:07:16,675 --> 00:07:19,150
No, no, no, no, look,
look, look, you know what?
226
00:07:19,765 --> 00:07:20,958
We're doing a backwards wedding.
227
00:07:21,035 --> 00:07:21,967
Yes! [LAUGHTER]
228
00:07:22,044 --> 00:07:24,029
- Tom, it's gonna to be OK.
- Yeah, it's gonna be great.
229
00:07:24,106 --> 00:07:25,644
Look, as long as I'm married to
you at the end of this, then...
230
00:07:25,721 --> 00:07:26,685
[GIGGLES]
231
00:07:26,762 --> 00:07:27,832
I'm happy.
232
00:07:27,909 --> 00:07:29,409
So what if it's the
opposite of everything
233
00:07:29,485 --> 00:07:31,438
we planned and we're
taking advice from...
234
00:07:32,915 --> 00:07:33,826
- this guy.
- OK.
235
00:07:33,903 --> 00:07:35,754
- OK, everybody, move.
- Yeah.
236
00:07:35,831 --> 00:07:36,765
- Sarah.
- Yes.
237
00:07:36,842 --> 00:07:38,358
Can you get the caterers to start early?
238
00:07:38,435 --> 00:07:39,935
Sure. I'll talk to the bartender!
239
00:07:40,012 --> 00:07:41,932
Just in case there's,
like, an ice situation.
240
00:07:42,008 --> 00:07:44,199
Connor, think you could get
people on the dance floor?
241
00:07:44,276 --> 00:07:47,534
No, I just loaded up this
Zune full of absolute bangers
242
00:07:47,611 --> 00:07:48,963
- for no reason.
- ♪ Drop it to the floor ♪
243
00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:50,883
- ♪ Drop, drop it to the floor ♪
- OK.
244
00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:52,267
- ♪ Drop it to the floor... ♪
- It's gonna be great.
245
00:07:52,344 --> 00:07:54,560
- I love you.
- I love you too.
246
00:07:54,637 --> 00:07:56,608
No! We're not married yet.
247
00:07:56,685 --> 00:08:00,257
But we've kissed many times before.
248
00:08:00,635 --> 00:08:03,210
Oh, wow, well, we can serve the food,
249
00:08:03,287 --> 00:08:04,807
but we're not quite ready.
250
00:08:04,883 --> 00:08:06,497
So some of the courses
are gonna be out of order.
251
00:08:06,574 --> 00:08:08,417
Oh, that's totally fine, 'cause out
252
00:08:08,493 --> 00:08:10,799
of order is sort of the
unofficial wedding theme.
253
00:08:10,876 --> 00:08:13,641
You know, I'm not supposed
to mingle with the guests.
254
00:08:13,718 --> 00:08:15,177
Oh, mingling.
255
00:08:15,254 --> 00:08:16,522
Is that what we're doing?
256
00:08:16,599 --> 00:08:18,867
Oh, heyo, there she is.
257
00:08:18,944 --> 00:08:20,596
Hi. The drinks have been great.
Thank you.
258
00:08:20,673 --> 00:08:22,900
So, "Sa-rahh," since they're
doing the whole wedding
259
00:08:22,977 --> 00:08:24,707
thing backwards, what say you and me
260
00:08:24,784 --> 00:08:26,320
skip to the end of the date.
261
00:08:26,397 --> 00:08:27,588
Oh my god.
262
00:08:27,664 --> 00:08:29,585
- Uh, Denise...
- It's Dennis.
263
00:08:29,662 --> 00:08:31,045
What, did you get heat
stroke, there, honey pie?
264
00:08:31,122 --> 00:08:34,311
[GIGGLES] Oop, b-wrapped Ds.
265
00:08:34,387 --> 00:08:35,962
He means bacon-wrapped dates.
266
00:08:36,039 --> 00:08:37,308
So you're dating a Dennis.
267
00:08:37,384 --> 00:08:38,998
No, no, not exactly dating.
268
00:08:39,075 --> 00:08:42,341
It's just that, uh,
my parents still don't know
269
00:08:42,417 --> 00:08:44,799
that I'm not exactly into men.
270
00:08:44,875 --> 00:08:46,796
Oh, so nothing's changed since college
271
00:08:46,873 --> 00:08:48,333
when you wouldn't let
them know I existed.
272
00:08:48,410 --> 00:08:50,793
- It's complicated.
- It's really not.
273
00:08:50,869 --> 00:08:53,020
I should get back to work.
274
00:08:54,019 --> 00:08:57,707
Oh, my god, Sarah,
you got to try this dip.
275
00:08:59,590 --> 00:09:01,358
So let's put our paws
together for Tom and Marina,
276
00:09:01,434 --> 00:09:04,161
just about to be married
277
00:09:04,238 --> 00:09:06,428
but technically still dating.
278
00:09:06,505 --> 00:09:07,696
Thanks, Dad.
279
00:09:07,773 --> 00:09:09,272
♪ Shake your money maker
280
00:09:09,348 --> 00:09:10,616
♪ Like somebody 'bout to pay ya ♪
281
00:09:10,693 --> 00:09:11,718
♪ I see you on my radar ♪
282
00:09:11,795 --> 00:09:12,878
♪ Don't you act like you afraid of shh ♪
283
00:09:12,955 --> 00:09:14,198
♪ You know I got it ♪
284
00:09:14,275 --> 00:09:15,703
♪ If you want to come get it ♪
285
00:09:15,780 --> 00:09:17,343
♪ Stand next to this money like ♪
286
00:09:17,420 --> 00:09:18,839
♪ Eh, eh, eh! ♪
287
00:09:18,916 --> 00:09:19,876
♪ Shake your money maker ♪
288
00:09:19,952 --> 00:09:21,119
♪ Like somebody 'bout to pay ya ♪
289
00:09:21,195 --> 00:09:23,398
And I could not be more
proud of my daughter.
290
00:09:23,475 --> 00:09:26,136
And then there's Tom, who I
know would never try to start
291
00:09:26,213 --> 00:09:28,906
a family in the world's
most expensive city
292
00:09:28,983 --> 00:09:31,169
with a mortgage
and no steady source of income.
293
00:09:31,246 --> 00:09:33,359
Because that would be crazy. Am I right?
294
00:09:33,436 --> 00:09:35,049
♪ You lookin' good in them jeans ♪
295
00:09:35,125 --> 00:09:36,316
We're all headed to the dance floor.
296
00:09:36,393 --> 00:09:37,552
See you guys out there.
297
00:09:37,628 --> 00:09:39,313
Yeah, you want to crank that Soulja Boy?
298
00:09:39,390 --> 00:09:40,466
- ♪ Money on my mind ♪
- Yeah.
299
00:09:40,543 --> 00:09:42,080
What's your screen name?
300
00:09:42,157 --> 00:09:43,809
♪ When you shake your behind ♪
301
00:09:43,885 --> 00:09:45,499
Right here, right here, right here.
302
00:09:45,576 --> 00:09:47,227
OK, somebody else?
Anybody else want to get crunk?
303
00:09:47,304 --> 00:09:48,609
♪ My whole hood is to my left ♪
304
00:09:48,686 --> 00:09:49,843
♪ And they ain't giving a... ♪
305
00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:52,145
[WOMEN CHEERING]
306
00:09:52,222 --> 00:09:54,372
Oh my god, I caught it!
307
00:09:54,449 --> 00:09:55,525
Oh, that still counts.
308
00:09:55,602 --> 00:09:56,525
Pick it up, honey.
309
00:09:56,602 --> 00:09:58,522
Woo!
310
00:09:58,599 --> 00:10:01,519
[MARIACHI MUSIC]
311
00:10:01,596 --> 00:10:03,786
Well, we wanted a wedding
that nobody would forget.
312
00:10:03,863 --> 00:10:06,129
No matter how hard they try.
313
00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:08,377
Ah, yeah, things don't
always go as planned.
314
00:10:08,454 --> 00:10:09,587
Priests collapse.
315
00:10:09,663 --> 00:10:11,086
Cake is served before salmon.
316
00:10:11,162 --> 00:10:12,968
They're just some bumps along the road
317
00:10:13,045 --> 00:10:14,696
that we're on together, right?
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
318
00:10:14,773 --> 00:10:16,656
Oh, sorry, I'm getting a call.
319
00:10:16,732 --> 00:10:18,039
- You're gonna take it?
- It's the hospital.
320
00:10:18,115 --> 00:10:20,036
Take it.
321
00:10:21,266 --> 00:10:22,764
Hello?
322
00:10:22,841 --> 00:10:23,992
OK.
323
00:10:24,069 --> 00:10:25,375
OK. Well...
324
00:10:25,452 --> 00:10:27,528
let me know if anything changes.
325
00:10:27,605 --> 00:10:29,218
- The priest is dead.
- What?
326
00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:30,755
What up, party people?
327
00:10:30,832 --> 00:10:32,100
Who wants to see me toss the B flipper?
328
00:10:32,177 --> 00:10:33,251
Connor, we discussed this.
329
00:10:33,328 --> 00:10:34,967
No backflips. Oh...
330
00:10:35,043 --> 00:10:36,019
[GLASS SHATTERING] [ALL GASPING]
331
00:10:36,095 --> 00:10:37,170
Oh, my foot!
332
00:10:37,246 --> 00:10:38,746
Not my lacrosse foot!
333
00:10:38,823 --> 00:10:40,091
Ugh!
334
00:10:40,168 --> 00:10:41,512
So more bumps than anticipated.
335
00:10:41,589 --> 00:10:43,510
Oh, come on, this wedding is cursed.
336
00:10:44,555 --> 00:10:46,092
[LAUGHS] Yeah.
337
00:10:46,168 --> 00:10:48,696
Foot's definitely broken.
Athletic career is done.
338
00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:49,886
Now I'll never hook up with a gymnast
339
00:10:49,963 --> 00:10:51,269
in the Olympic Village.
340
00:10:51,346 --> 00:10:52,335
OK, just leave your foot up, Conny.
341
00:10:52,412 --> 00:10:53,728
Sarah, would you get
some more ice, please?
342
00:10:53,805 --> 00:10:55,112
Sure, I'll just go talk...
343
00:10:55,189 --> 00:10:56,439
To the bartender.
344
00:10:56,515 --> 00:10:58,239
So much for professional lacrosse.
345
00:10:58,315 --> 00:10:59,676
Looks like I'm living at home forever.
346
00:10:59,753 --> 00:11:01,023
I'll never get my sewing room.
347
00:11:01,100 --> 00:11:02,759
Where the hell are we
supposed to find a new priest?
348
00:11:02,835 --> 00:11:03,999
We have to figure something out.
349
00:11:04,075 --> 00:11:05,799
We're gonna lose this venue
in the next 40 minutes.
350
00:11:05,876 --> 00:11:07,078
Well, hey, I could officiate.
351
00:11:07,155 --> 00:11:08,780
I'm an ordained online minister.
352
00:11:08,857 --> 00:11:11,076
That's right. He married our neighbour's
Shih Tzus in the backyard.
353
00:11:11,153 --> 00:11:12,318
It was adorable.
354
00:11:12,395 --> 00:11:14,598
Oh, thanks, but my dad's already
355
00:11:14,675 --> 00:11:15,799
upset that we're
getting married outdoors
356
00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:16,958
instead of a church.
357
00:11:17,035 --> 00:11:19,199
So if we don't have a
priest, he will not be happy.
358
00:11:19,275 --> 00:11:20,398
Well, he's already unhappy.
359
00:11:20,475 --> 00:11:21,638
I mean, he hates me.
360
00:11:21,715 --> 00:11:22,788
- No, Tom, he doesn't hate you.
- No.
361
00:11:22,865 --> 00:11:23,879
You know, what If he's right?
362
00:11:23,955 --> 00:11:25,063
You know, what if I suck?
363
00:11:25,140 --> 00:11:26,523
I make terrible choices.
364
00:11:26,599 --> 00:11:28,540
I mean, quitting my job right
after we bought a house...
365
00:11:28,616 --> 00:11:29,673
It's like, what is that?
366
00:11:29,750 --> 00:11:30,809
That's, like, insane, right?
367
00:11:30,885 --> 00:11:32,734
No. I mean, maybe?
368
00:11:32,811 --> 00:11:35,279
Oh, my god, this is worse
than the frickin' dog wedding.
369
00:11:35,356 --> 00:11:37,576
No, Tom, where are you going?
370
00:11:38,686 --> 00:11:40,049
I hope your brother's OK.
371
00:11:40,126 --> 00:11:42,521
Denise, believe me, I wanted
to come out to my parents.
372
00:11:42,597 --> 00:11:43,503
I did.
373
00:11:43,579 --> 00:11:45,638
I... I wanted to be this person for you.
374
00:11:45,715 --> 00:11:47,630
I didn't want you to do anything for me.
375
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:48,918
I wanted this for you.
376
00:11:48,995 --> 00:11:50,599
Well, the moment just
never presented itself.
377
00:11:50,675 --> 00:11:52,998
- Sarah.
- Unless that moment is now.
378
00:11:53,075 --> 00:11:54,745
How long does it take to get ice?
379
00:11:54,822 --> 00:11:57,272
Two white wine spritzers, please.
380
00:11:57,348 --> 00:11:58,967
Uh, Mum, I want to tell you something.
381
00:11:59,044 --> 00:12:00,558
I want to tell you something.
382
00:12:00,635 --> 00:12:02,807
We are planning a family
trip to Boca Raton,
383
00:12:02,884 --> 00:12:04,479
and I have already invited Dennis.
384
00:12:04,555 --> 00:12:06,722
- Mum.
- What? What is it?
385
00:12:07,682 --> 00:12:09,051
- This is Denise.
- I know.
386
00:12:09,128 --> 00:12:10,564
I can read her name tag.
387
00:12:10,641 --> 00:12:11,922
Thank you, Bernice.
388
00:12:11,999 --> 00:12:13,400
We should be getting back to the table.
389
00:12:13,476 --> 00:12:15,918
Every time I go looking for
you, you're at this bar.
390
00:12:15,995 --> 00:12:18,066
People are gonna think you're
some kind of booze hound.
391
00:12:18,605 --> 00:12:21,320
Wow, loud and proud.
392
00:12:22,896 --> 00:12:24,624
Yo, yo, yo, bro Montana.
393
00:12:24,701 --> 00:12:26,146
What's cracking, Broseph Gordon-Levitt?
394
00:12:26,223 --> 00:12:27,687
I'm sorry about your foot there.
395
00:12:27,763 --> 00:12:29,536
You must be pretty salty
about the lacrosse.
396
00:12:29,612 --> 00:12:31,233
I was a water polo man myself.
397
00:12:31,310 --> 00:12:33,058
Oh, the lacrosse of the seas.
398
00:12:33,135 --> 00:12:34,119
You know it.
399
00:12:34,196 --> 00:12:35,420
But, look, it's just sports, right?
400
00:12:35,497 --> 00:12:37,318
- Don't sweat it.
- Ah not for me, my dog.
401
00:12:37,395 --> 00:12:38,718
Lacrosse was my only plan.
402
00:12:38,795 --> 00:12:42,359
You know pro players get a
$30 meal per diem, per day?
403
00:12:42,436 --> 00:12:43,719
Yeah, everybody knows that.
404
00:12:43,796 --> 00:12:46,714
Well, I was gonna put that
cash towards Pokémon cards,
405
00:12:46,791 --> 00:12:48,678
you know, load up on first editions,
406
00:12:48,755 --> 00:12:51,287
holographics... Charizards,
Snorlax, Articuno...
407
00:12:51,363 --> 00:12:52,612
All the legendary birds.
408
00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:54,437
I figure over time
I could turn $10K into $50K,
409
00:12:54,514 --> 00:12:55,818
easy, no prob.
410
00:12:55,895 --> 00:12:57,478
That's a pretty solid
return there, home skillet.
411
00:12:57,555 --> 00:12:58,998
And if you're looking for
a new direction in life,
412
00:12:59,075 --> 00:13:00,552
why don't you holler at your boy.
413
00:13:00,629 --> 00:13:02,582
There's my card.
414
00:13:02,659 --> 00:13:03,773
Private equity?
415
00:13:03,850 --> 00:13:05,759
I think you just might
have a brain for it.
416
00:13:05,835 --> 00:13:07,960
For shizzle.
417
00:13:08,766 --> 00:13:10,187
Hey.
418
00:13:10,264 --> 00:13:11,514
Looks like you could use one of these.
419
00:13:11,590 --> 00:13:12,487
Thanks.
420
00:13:12,564 --> 00:13:14,935
I've never been a wine gal,
but today I see the appeal.
421
00:13:15,011 --> 00:13:18,141
Yeah, I hear you.
It's been a day for me too.
422
00:13:18,217 --> 00:13:19,331
Mm.
423
00:13:19,408 --> 00:13:20,345
Want to join?
424
00:13:20,421 --> 00:13:22,415
Uh, sure.
425
00:13:22,492 --> 00:13:24,269
I'm gonna quit this job soon anyway.
426
00:13:24,346 --> 00:13:25,336
Denise.
427
00:13:25,413 --> 00:13:26,530
Marina.
428
00:13:27,669 --> 00:13:29,172
Can I ask you something?
429
00:13:29,248 --> 00:13:30,860
Do you believe in signs?
430
00:13:31,552 --> 00:13:33,438
Like messages from the universe?
431
00:13:33,515 --> 00:13:36,466
Omens, harbingers, the Zodiac,
432
00:13:36,543 --> 00:13:38,679
the spirit realm, Incan Sun worship?
433
00:13:38,755 --> 00:13:40,253
Yeah, why?
434
00:13:40,330 --> 00:13:41,279
OK, normally I don't.
435
00:13:41,355 --> 00:13:44,479
But I feel like today the
messaging from the universe
436
00:13:44,556 --> 00:13:45,959
has been extra loud.
437
00:13:46,035 --> 00:13:49,089
Well, the thing about signs
is that they are just signs.
438
00:13:49,166 --> 00:13:50,318
They're not orders.
439
00:13:50,395 --> 00:13:52,701
Ultimately, you get to decide
whatever you want to do.
440
00:13:52,777 --> 00:13:54,079
What if I don't know?
441
00:13:54,156 --> 00:13:56,119
I thought I was just
having pre-wedding jitters.
442
00:13:56,195 --> 00:13:57,838
But now I wonder if it's more than that.
443
00:13:57,915 --> 00:13:59,100
What if the person that you love
444
00:13:59,177 --> 00:14:01,537
isn't the person that
you need them to be?
445
00:14:01,614 --> 00:14:03,842
I've been there.
446
00:14:03,919 --> 00:14:05,956
So... what do I do?
447
00:14:06,454 --> 00:14:07,876
Have more wine?
448
00:14:09,177 --> 00:14:10,680
I like the way you think.
449
00:14:12,832 --> 00:14:14,061
- Hey.
- What?
450
00:14:14,138 --> 00:14:15,482
- Hey.
- Where'd you go?
451
00:14:15,559 --> 00:14:16,759
Marina seemed pretty upset.
452
00:14:16,836 --> 00:14:17,909
I just took a little walk.
453
00:14:17,986 --> 00:14:19,414
I'm having a pre-panic attack.
454
00:14:19,491 --> 00:14:22,744
It's when I start panicking
about having a panic attack.
455
00:14:22,820 --> 00:14:24,164
This thing is like disaster, man.
456
00:14:24,241 --> 00:14:25,701
No, it's not.
457
00:14:25,778 --> 00:14:27,102
Your life is great, dude.
458
00:14:27,179 --> 00:14:28,624
You're still marrying
a smoking-hot babe.
459
00:14:28,700 --> 00:14:30,581
You're about to be a
best-selling author.
460
00:14:30,658 --> 00:14:32,579
Come on, man, you don't know that.
461
00:14:32,655 --> 00:14:34,576
No, but I believe it.
462
00:14:36,183 --> 00:14:37,559
- You do?
- Yeah.
463
00:14:37,636 --> 00:14:40,223
You're my big brother.
And Marina believes it too.
464
00:14:40,300 --> 00:14:41,721
Otherwise, she wouldn't be marrying you.
465
00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:42,931
I mean, she could have anyone.
466
00:14:43,008 --> 00:14:45,520
She is like...[HISSES]
an absolute smoke show.
467
00:14:45,597 --> 00:14:47,152
Yeah, no, you already said that.
468
00:14:47,229 --> 00:14:48,399
Like, she's hot enough to be in one
469
00:14:48,476 --> 00:14:50,596
of those German body wash
ads I keep accidentally
470
00:14:50,673 --> 00:14:52,363
downloading from LimeWire.
471
00:14:52,439 --> 00:14:53,823
- What?
- Yeah.
472
00:14:53,900 --> 00:14:55,398
My computer is messed up.
473
00:14:55,475 --> 00:14:57,119
Maybe you could start
slowing down on that.
474
00:14:57,195 --> 00:14:58,878
And you get to smash that
for the rest of your life.
475
00:14:58,955 --> 00:15:00,439
- Like, that's sick.
- I'm probably gonna leave
476
00:15:00,515 --> 00:15:01,514
- you hanging on that one.
- I get that. I do.
477
00:15:01,591 --> 00:15:02,677
Oh, OK.
478
00:15:02,754 --> 00:15:06,386
Look, man, I know I
don't say this a lot, but...
479
00:15:08,054 --> 00:15:09,475
I've always looked up to you.
480
00:15:09,552 --> 00:15:11,089
You just... you know
what you want to do,
481
00:15:11,166 --> 00:15:14,354
and you're brave enough to go do it.
482
00:15:16,736 --> 00:15:19,230
And you know what, you're right.
483
00:15:20,230 --> 00:15:21,675
I got to go.
484
00:15:22,614 --> 00:15:25,341
Sarah, you need to hang on to these.
485
00:15:25,418 --> 00:15:27,489
- I didn't catch it.
- Sure you did.
486
00:15:27,566 --> 00:15:29,759
And it means that you
and Dennis are next.
487
00:15:29,835 --> 00:15:31,948
Why do you want me
to get married so bad?
488
00:15:32,025 --> 00:15:33,755
Because I want you to be happy.
489
00:15:33,832 --> 00:15:35,541
You know what, Mum, uh...
490
00:15:36,482 --> 00:15:39,748
OK, I'm so tired of pretending.
491
00:15:39,825 --> 00:15:41,977
I know exactly what would make me happy,
492
00:15:42,053 --> 00:15:43,973
and it is being with
the person that I love.
493
00:15:44,050 --> 00:15:46,432
And she is sitting right out there.
494
00:15:48,238 --> 00:15:49,328
Marina?
495
00:15:50,058 --> 00:15:52,618
- Does Tom know?
- No, no, not Marina, Mum.
496
00:15:52,695 --> 00:15:54,195
The bartender.
497
00:15:54,925 --> 00:15:57,958
We dated in college, and it
was actually really serious.
498
00:15:58,035 --> 00:16:00,302
Oh. Well, if it was Marina,
499
00:16:00,379 --> 00:16:02,760
your brother would've been crushed.
500
00:16:02,837 --> 00:16:06,201
OK, wait, sorry, so... so you're not
501
00:16:06,278 --> 00:16:07,689
shocked that I'm gay?
502
00:16:07,765 --> 00:16:10,137
Well, I'm a little
surprised, given the way
503
00:16:10,214 --> 00:16:12,227
you've been throwing
yourself at Dennis all day.
504
00:16:12,304 --> 00:16:13,863
But then there's the nose ring.
505
00:16:13,940 --> 00:16:14,879
Mum.
506
00:16:14,955 --> 00:16:16,936
[SIGHS]
507
00:16:17,012 --> 00:16:19,203
- Sarah?
- Yep?
508
00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:20,702
I love you.
509
00:16:20,779 --> 00:16:23,698
And I'm sorry that you didn't feel you
510
00:16:23,775 --> 00:16:25,311
could talk to me about this.
511
00:16:26,476 --> 00:16:30,076
Mum, thank you for accepting me.
512
00:16:32,688 --> 00:16:34,686
Well, I didn't say I accepted you.
513
00:16:36,645 --> 00:16:37,990
I just came out to my mum.
514
00:16:38,066 --> 00:16:39,488
You just came out to your mum?
515
00:16:39,564 --> 00:16:40,831
- Right now?
- Yeah.
516
00:16:40,908 --> 00:16:42,791
And I'm supposed to believe that?
517
00:16:42,868 --> 00:16:45,865
[ROMANTIC MUSIC]
518
00:16:45,942 --> 00:16:47,363
♪ ♪
519
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:49,131
She finally did it.
520
00:16:49,207 --> 00:16:52,165
This is the third time
that has happened to me.
521
00:16:55,277 --> 00:16:57,005
[GIGGLES]
522
00:16:57,082 --> 00:17:00,562
OK, so can we just... Just start over?
523
00:17:00,639 --> 00:17:03,076
You know, just pretend
that I'm some girl
524
00:17:03,153 --> 00:17:04,535
picking you up at a wedding.
525
00:17:05,326 --> 00:17:06,533
Nice to meet you.
526
00:17:06,610 --> 00:17:08,378
Oh, it's so nice to meet you.
527
00:17:08,454 --> 00:17:10,451
I am Lulu.
528
00:17:10,528 --> 00:17:12,143
- Wait, I was gonna say Lulu.
- Are you serious?
529
00:17:12,220 --> 00:17:13,678
- Yes.
- [LAUGHING] Oh, my god.
530
00:17:13,755 --> 00:17:15,343
- Well, it's a sign.
- Yeah.
531
00:17:15,420 --> 00:17:17,253
I guess we'll both just have to be Lulu.
532
00:17:17,329 --> 00:17:18,795
I like that.
533
00:17:19,365 --> 00:17:21,939
Looks like the bar mitzvah
folks are starting to arrive.
534
00:17:22,016 --> 00:17:24,167
People are starting to leave.
535
00:17:24,244 --> 00:17:26,050
Mijita, what do you want to do?
536
00:17:26,127 --> 00:17:27,471
I don't know.
I... I need to talk to Tom.
537
00:17:27,548 --> 00:17:28,761
Where is Tom?
538
00:17:28,838 --> 00:17:31,840
We saw him get into
a car and drive away.
539
00:17:31,916 --> 00:17:33,657
So he's actually
leaving me at the altar?
540
00:17:33,734 --> 00:17:35,847
I thought he was just having
one of his pre-panic attack
541
00:17:35,923 --> 00:17:37,705
- panic attacks.
- Ah, mijita.
542
00:17:37,782 --> 00:17:39,572
Don't worry, I won't
tell you I told you so.
543
00:17:39,649 --> 00:17:40,533
- Papa.
- Not now.
544
00:17:40,610 --> 00:17:42,301
I'll do it later.
545
00:17:42,378 --> 00:17:43,837
[TIRES SCREECHING] [HORN HONKING]
546
00:17:43,914 --> 00:17:45,528
Guys, wait!
547
00:17:45,605 --> 00:17:46,987
I got a priest! We can get married.
548
00:17:47,063 --> 00:17:48,927
Oh, my god!
549
00:17:49,004 --> 00:17:50,142
Oh, I'm so sorry.
550
00:17:50,219 --> 00:17:51,309
How did you do this?
551
00:17:51,386 --> 00:17:53,441
You actually pulled off a miracle!
552
00:17:53,518 --> 00:17:54,787
I'm so sorry. What did you do?
553
00:17:54,863 --> 00:17:56,111
How did you do...
554
00:17:56,188 --> 00:17:58,263
I drove to the hospital
and grabbed the priest giving
555
00:17:58,340 --> 00:18:00,394
last rites to the old priest.
556
00:18:00,471 --> 00:18:02,814
Oh, thank you for being
the person I need you to be.
557
00:18:02,891 --> 00:18:04,441
No, no, no, no, we're not married yet.
558
00:18:04,518 --> 00:18:06,056
OK, people, we got about 10 minutes
559
00:18:06,133 --> 00:18:08,079
until this place becomes
the magical planet Pandora,
560
00:18:08,156 --> 00:18:10,000
and Josh Gerstein
becomes a man, all right?
561
00:18:10,077 --> 00:18:11,191
- Let's do this!
- OK.
562
00:18:11,268 --> 00:18:13,150
Yeah.
563
00:18:13,227 --> 00:18:14,533
Oh, my foot!
564
00:18:14,610 --> 00:18:19,105
[RAPID MARIACHI MUSIC]
565
00:18:19,182 --> 00:18:20,718
Come on, let's move.
566
00:18:20,795 --> 00:18:22,370
You still look incredible.
567
00:18:22,446 --> 00:18:23,907
Mm-hmm. You too, yeah, yeah, yeah.
568
00:18:23,984 --> 00:18:25,175
- Dearly beloved...
- No time.
569
00:18:25,252 --> 00:18:26,213
Just... you go.
570
00:18:26,289 --> 00:18:27,557
OK, Tom, I love you.
571
00:18:27,634 --> 00:18:29,093
OK, that's it. Now you go.
572
00:18:29,169 --> 00:18:31,783
[GIGGLES] OK, uh,
Marina, I love you too.
573
00:18:31,859 --> 00:18:33,739
Whatever bumps in the road may come...
574
00:18:44,095 --> 00:18:45,497
Skip to the end. Go, go, go, go.
575
00:18:45,574 --> 00:18:46,958
- Uh, by the power...
- Just go, just go.
576
00:18:47,034 --> 00:18:49,147
Et cetera, I... I pronounce you... kiss.
577
00:18:49,224 --> 00:18:50,376
Yeah! Hey, we did it.
578
00:18:50,452 --> 00:18:51,453
Wow!
579
00:18:51,529 --> 00:18:52,951
[APPLAUSE]
580
00:18:53,027 --> 00:18:54,718
Actually, you know what, Josh Gerstein's
581
00:18:54,795 --> 00:18:56,216
Torah portion can wait.
582
00:18:56,293 --> 00:18:57,446
Come here.
583
00:18:57,522 --> 00:19:00,327
[CHEERING]
584
00:19:03,669 --> 00:19:05,397
Well, Tom, you did it...
585
00:19:05,474 --> 00:19:06,801
[DIGITAL CAMERA SOUND] Barely.
586
00:19:06,878 --> 00:19:08,779
I heard you did it too.
587
00:19:08,855 --> 00:19:09,740
I'm proud of you.
588
00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:10,826
Thanks.
589
00:19:10,903 --> 00:19:12,724
Yeah, I mean, if you
decided to just live a lie
590
00:19:12,801 --> 00:19:14,048
and stick it out with the homie Dennis,
591
00:19:14,124 --> 00:19:16,338
that would've been fine by me.
Dude was an absolute legend.
592
00:19:16,414 --> 00:19:17,949
But glad you're living
your truth or whatever.
593
00:19:18,026 --> 00:19:19,200
- That's chill, too.
- OK, thanks, Conn.
594
00:19:19,276 --> 00:19:21,198
All right, let's get
Mum and Dad in there.
595
00:19:21,275 --> 00:19:23,118
Sorry, could we just actually
hold on for one second.
596
00:19:23,195 --> 00:19:24,079
Come here.
597
00:19:24,156 --> 00:19:25,499
Oh.
598
00:19:25,576 --> 00:19:27,920
Um, everyone, this is Denise.
599
00:19:27,997 --> 00:19:29,649
- Oh! Hi.
- Hello, Denise.
600
00:19:29,726 --> 00:19:30,629
- Hey, Denise.
- Hello.
601
00:19:30,706 --> 00:19:32,953
We don't have a lot of
experience with this...
602
00:19:33,030 --> 00:19:34,488
sort of thing.
603
00:19:34,564 --> 00:19:37,256
Although my husband did go
to an all-boys high school,
604
00:19:37,333 --> 00:19:39,638
and I played a female cop
in a student film.
605
00:19:39,714 --> 00:19:41,828
[GIGGLING] Oh, wow.
606
00:19:41,905 --> 00:19:43,480
- This is a lot.
- Yeah, I'm so sorry.
607
00:19:43,556 --> 00:19:45,101
Yeah, you have no idea.
608
00:19:45,178 --> 00:19:47,681
You and I are gonna be the
only normal ones around here.
609
00:19:47,758 --> 00:19:49,281
Now let's stay with
the theme of the day.
610
00:19:49,358 --> 00:19:51,470
Everybody say cheese, backwards.
611
00:19:51,547 --> 00:19:53,238
- [DIGITAL CAMERA SOUND]
- Ee...
612
00:19:53,315 --> 00:19:54,236
Esee...
613
00:19:54,313 --> 00:19:56,234
[DIGITAL CAMERA SOUND]
614
00:19:56,602 --> 00:19:59,599
Well, that's it. That's the whole story.
615
00:20:00,396 --> 00:20:02,587
[SIGHS] Well, there's
47 minutes of my life
616
00:20:02,663 --> 00:20:03,790
I'll never get back.
617
00:20:08,002 --> 00:20:10,082
So I'm visiting my cousin,
Fabian, at the hospital,
618
00:20:10,159 --> 00:20:13,867
when out of nowhere this crazy guy
comes running down the hallway
619
00:20:13,943 --> 00:20:15,020
and kidnaps a priest.
620
00:20:15,097 --> 00:20:16,050
Can you describe the man?
621
00:20:16,126 --> 00:20:19,002
So skinny, he was almost
paper, like a real life
622
00:20:19,079 --> 00:20:20,139
flat Stanley.
623
00:20:20,216 --> 00:20:21,201
Did you get a good look at his face?
624
00:20:21,277 --> 00:20:22,224
Hard to say.
625
00:20:22,301 --> 00:20:24,071
The body of an old man
with the head of a boy.
626
00:20:24,148 --> 00:20:26,508
He looked like a sculpture
of Jack Skellington
627
00:20:26,585 --> 00:20:28,044
made out of frozen milk.
628
00:20:28,121 --> 00:20:30,480
He was like a scared fettuccine pasta.
629
00:20:30,557 --> 00:20:31,516
OK, we got it.
630
00:20:31,593 --> 00:20:34,356
He was like if string cheese was a man,
631
00:20:34,432 --> 00:20:36,459
- if that makes sense.
- Thank you.
44943
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.