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Previously on Velma...
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I like you.
3
00:00:08,633 --> 00:00:09,926
That's hilarious.
4
00:00:12,387 --> 00:00:13,930
Wait. Norville.
5
00:00:14,013 --> 00:00:15,515
Your joke worked, you genius!
6
00:00:15,598 --> 00:00:16,683
Keep making me laugh.
7
00:00:17,475 --> 00:00:18,393
No, Velma, wait!
8
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I'm here because I want you.
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That book you gave me
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00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:24,023
opened my eyes to
your inner beauty.
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00:00:25,233 --> 00:00:27,360
Hey, watch where you're going.
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00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:28,570
Gigi?
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00:00:28,653 --> 00:00:30,113
Hi.
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00:00:30,196 --> 00:00:32,949
Norville, I've
definitely been here before.
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I feel like all the
answers to my questions
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00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:37,620
about my parents are in there.
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The bathrooms?
18
00:00:39,414 --> 00:00:41,082
Wait. I mean in there.
19
00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:54,864
Okay, so you know that
thing when you text your friends
20
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,222
and they don't text you back,
21
00:00:56,306 --> 00:00:57,807
so it feels like
you're gonna die?
22
00:00:57,891 --> 00:00:59,411
Well, if my friend
didn't text me back,
23
00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:01,936
I actually was going to die.
24
00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:03,521
Because Norville
was ghosting me,
25
00:01:03,605 --> 00:01:05,648
and my hallucinations
had gotten so bad,
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00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:08,485
I couldn't even look at my
murder board without having one.
27
00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:11,029
Sure, Daphne could have
helped me find my mom.
28
00:01:11,112 --> 00:01:12,673
But when I was with her...
29
00:01:12,697 --> 00:01:14,699
the only mystery
I wanted to solve
30
00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:17,143
was the case of the missing
inhibitions.
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00:01:27,295 --> 00:01:29,005
Dad, I need a ride to school.
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00:01:29,088 --> 00:01:31,966
Norville's MIA, and my walking
pace attracts vultures.
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Sorry, no time. Baby's
coming home tomorrow
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so I need to clean...
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before heading to the hospital
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00:01:37,472 --> 00:01:39,325
for Sophie's postpartum
photoshoot with the nursing staff.
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I'm gonna be there all night.
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00:01:41,142 --> 00:01:43,019
Hold up. You're
leaving me home alone
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with a murderer on the loose?
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Even though I was voted most likely
to be murdered before any of this?
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00:01:48,399 --> 00:01:50,109
You won't be alone, Velma.
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00:01:50,193 --> 00:01:52,633
You have the marching band
sleepover in the school gym tonight.
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00:01:52,695 --> 00:01:54,864
The marching
band sleepover?
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00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:58,868
Ugh, Norville really has
abandoned me at my lowest moment.
45
00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:02,413
This sleepover's
gonna be so tight.
46
00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:05,416
Wait until you see
how much pizza I eat.
47
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I can eat three slices.
48
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:11,774
Hey, sorry to interrupt,
but have you seen Norville?
49
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Tall, um...
50
00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:14,551
Blue eyes, maybe?
51
00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:16,028
Good morning, students.
52
00:02:16,052 --> 00:02:17,720
This is Principal Rogers.
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00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:20,723
I'm here with Mayor
Dave and the Sheriff.
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00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:22,267
Everybody, listen up!
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00:02:22,350 --> 00:02:26,020
We just learned someone
somewhere is being intolerant.
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00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:30,525
Jesus, Ed.
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Just say your thing before
they stop listening.
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Hello, students. This is
your cool mayor, Mayor Dave.
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00:02:36,447 --> 00:02:40,702
So, uh, since assigning personal
police details to the hottest of you,
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00:02:40,785 --> 00:02:42,745
we've been getting
a little push back
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00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:44,539
on the police
presence in school.
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00:02:44,622 --> 00:02:47,959
But fun twist! It's
from the police.
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00:02:48,042 --> 00:02:49,168
Uh-oh!
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00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:50,813
I just rear ended a cop.
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00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:53,298
In fact, the officers on
detail have all resigned,
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00:02:53,381 --> 00:02:56,175
citing unrelenting
sexual harassment.
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00:02:56,259 --> 00:02:58,845
Now, in place of
the police details,
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00:02:58,928 --> 00:03:02,682
we'll now be instituting
a citywide curfew
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00:03:02,765 --> 00:03:05,768
at 9:00 p.m. tonight,
for everyone.
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00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:08,605
You're caught outside, you'll
spend the night in jail.
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00:03:08,688 --> 00:03:12,108
Be warned. Our deputy is
working on his stand up set.
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00:03:12,191 --> 00:03:13,836
This also means
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several school events
will be canceled,
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- including...
- Band sleep over!
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00:03:18,323 --> 00:03:19,365
The track meet...
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00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:24,579
the Parent's Association's
Find the Asbestos Service night
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00:03:24,662 --> 00:03:26,664
and the marching band sleepover.
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00:03:26,748 --> 00:03:28,958
Yes!
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00:03:32,503 --> 00:03:34,005
Okay, baby Daphne.
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00:03:34,088 --> 00:03:36,633
I'm going to the Crystal
Mines, and I'm not coming back
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00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:39,844
until I figure out who I
am and where I come from.
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00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:43,431
Or six. Our moms are home by
six, so I'll be back before then.
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00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:54,567
Sorry, sign, but hot people are cut
too much slack to heed warnings.
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00:03:59,989 --> 00:04:02,825
Ah, that's fine. Bats
are just flying rats.
85
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:06,996
Ground bats, yuck!
86
00:04:14,879 --> 00:04:16,881
Oh, hey, Fred, have
you seen Norville?
87
00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:18,424
I need him to help
me investigate.
88
00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:21,469
No, but I have found a
way to make you like me.
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00:04:21,552 --> 00:04:22,971
Check it out.
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00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:24,782
And as if this isn't enough,
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00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:26,349
I will also win your heart
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00:04:26,432 --> 00:04:28,851
by proving I am a
helpful ally, sister.
93
00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:32,522
Look, I'm glad reading The Feminine
Mystique caused a little growth.
94
00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:34,524
Shush, a feminist is speaking,
95
00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:36,192
and he listened to your theory
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00:04:36,275 --> 00:04:38,111
about your mom going
missing at his house
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00:04:38,194 --> 00:04:39,529
and actually found something.
98
00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:41,197
Wait, you did? And
this isn't just
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00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,408
you thinking I'm related
to your nanny again, is it?
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00:04:43,491 --> 00:04:44,867
No.
101
00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:46,762
There were some papers in
Father's special drawer,
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00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:49,122
where he keeps his men's
work out magazines.
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00:04:49,205 --> 00:04:51,124
Turns out, our house
used to be owned
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00:04:51,207 --> 00:04:53,626
by a woman named
Dr. Edna Perdue,
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00:04:55,253 --> 00:04:57,922
Dr. Edna Perdue was
a female neurologist.
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00:04:58,006 --> 00:05:00,216
You don't need to
say female, Velma.
107
00:05:00,299 --> 00:05:02,176
You can just say neurologist.
108
00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:05,430
Ah! She died in the
Crystal Cove insane asylum,
109
00:05:05,513 --> 00:05:08,599
after conducting ethically
dubious experiments?
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00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:12,228
Fred, your house was
owned by a mad scientist.
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00:05:12,311 --> 00:05:13,896
Now I have to find Norville.
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00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:16,357
Oh, he's probably tangling
retainers with his girlfriend.
113
00:05:16,441 --> 00:05:18,109
Girlfriend?
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00:05:18,192 --> 00:05:20,653
Norville! You
have a girlfriend?
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00:05:21,487 --> 00:05:22,363
No.
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00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:23,948
And your girlfriend is Gigi?
117
00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:26,826
Damn, this makes me think
I could bag Don Lemon.
118
00:05:26,909 --> 00:05:28,789
How did this happen? I
thought you were missing.
119
00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:30,538
It's all thanks to you, Velma.
120
00:05:30,621 --> 00:05:32,707
I always thought I
was just regular hot,
121
00:05:32,790 --> 00:05:35,168
but you gave me the
confidence to be artsy hot.
122
00:05:35,251 --> 00:05:37,003
So you're not mad, Velma?
123
00:05:37,086 --> 00:05:39,338
Sometimes it's unclear until
I'm sitting on a thumb tack.
124
00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:42,091
Mad? No, I'm so excited.
Now you have Gigi
125
00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:44,761
to talk about boring stuff
like your swords and feelings.
126
00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:46,095
So, when we're together,
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00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:48,514
we can focus solely
on finding my mom.
128
00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:51,100
- Speaking of, Fred's house...
- Stop, Velma.
129
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:52,935
Look, Gigi and I have decided
130
00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:56,689
that maybe I should
spend less time with you.
131
00:05:56,773 --> 00:05:57,982
Less time?
132
00:05:58,066 --> 00:06:00,526
But I only see you
when I need you as is.
133
00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:01,861
Sorry, Velma.
134
00:06:01,944 --> 00:06:04,155
But until Norville learns
to stand up for himself,
135
00:06:04,238 --> 00:06:05,907
he's gonna do exactly as I say.
136
00:06:06,532 --> 00:06:07,909
I see.
137
00:06:07,992 --> 00:06:09,410
Fine, great.
138
00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:11,574
No sweat off my under boob.
It's not like I need him.
139
00:06:11,621 --> 00:06:13,956
Fred can help me not
hallucinate by making me laugh.
140
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,959
Velma, give me the chance and
I can help you with anything.
141
00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:19,796
Uh, well, except filling in
your ethnicity on a form.
142
00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:23,216
I'm guessing Samoan?
143
00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:28,971
Who... Who are you?
144
00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:31,307
We're your parents, Daphne.
145
00:06:31,390 --> 00:06:32,683
My parents?
146
00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:34,644
Why are you so hairy?
147
00:06:34,727 --> 00:06:37,021
Wait, are you Brooklyn guys?
148
00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:39,315
Oh, oh! Sorry.
149
00:06:39,398 --> 00:06:41,859
We should have explained
that these are costumes.
150
00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:44,612
We need to hide our identity
until we can trust you.
151
00:06:44,695 --> 00:06:46,614
Until you can trust me?
152
00:06:46,697 --> 00:06:50,159
I'm not the one dressed like something
pulled out of the shower drain.
153
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:52,245
Also, if you even
are my parents,
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00:06:52,328 --> 00:06:53,538
you abandoned me.
155
00:06:53,621 --> 00:06:55,456
You weren't abandoned, Daphne.
156
00:06:55,540 --> 00:06:57,333
Your moms stole you from us.
157
00:06:57,416 --> 00:06:59,168
What? No, they didn't.
158
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:01,921
They found me wrapped in a blanket
in the middle of a cornfield.
159
00:07:02,004 --> 00:07:03,464
Uh, okay.
160
00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:05,383
But if you don't believe
we're your parents,
161
00:07:05,466 --> 00:07:08,219
look up the Crystal Mines
gang on Netscape Navigator.
162
00:07:08,302 --> 00:07:10,638
Netscape Navigator? Good Lord!
163
00:07:10,721 --> 00:07:12,348
How long have you been in here?
164
00:07:13,182 --> 00:07:14,182
Hello?
165
00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:15,810
Hello.
166
00:07:15,893 --> 00:07:18,437
Did you really just
do an Irish exit?
167
00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:20,857
Huh, maybe we are related.
168
00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:23,151
Remember, tonight's
curfew is at 9 p.m.,
169
00:07:23,234 --> 00:07:25,903
and The Bachelor's brilliant
finale is at 10:00.
170
00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:27,572
So, no messing around!
171
00:07:27,655 --> 00:07:30,199
So, we're going to the
Hysterical Society?
172
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,618
Then why would you need
my help making you laugh?
173
00:07:32,702 --> 00:07:34,620
It's Historical Society.
174
00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:36,289
Places like this
helped Skip Gates
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00:07:36,372 --> 00:07:38,791
learn which white actors are
descended from slave owners.
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00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:42,670
If there's any record of
Dr. Perdue, it'll be here.
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00:07:42,753 --> 00:07:47,383
So, you're friends with our
favorite docent, Norville.
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00:07:47,466 --> 00:07:49,760
We're so happy he's found Gigi,
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00:07:49,844 --> 00:07:53,681
especially after wasting years
pining for that bossy one.
180
00:07:53,764 --> 00:07:55,433
What was her name? Meatball?
181
00:07:55,516 --> 00:07:58,477
I actually heard Meatball was
really cool and beautiful.
182
00:07:58,561 --> 00:08:02,481
Well, all we have are
Dr. Perdue's old journals.
183
00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:06,736
This is the one place she felt
no one would ever find them.
184
00:08:06,819 --> 00:08:11,282
99.9% of our visitors are
people looking for a bathroom.
185
00:08:11,365 --> 00:08:13,085
Huh?
186
00:08:13,117 --> 00:08:14,911
The journals are missing.
187
00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:18,581
Well, the last person to
look at them was, uh...
188
00:08:18,664 --> 00:08:20,082
Diya Dinkley.
189
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:21,250
What?
190
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,169
My mom was researching
a mad scientist?
191
00:08:23,252 --> 00:08:25,796
And then disappeared
at her house? Why?
192
00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:30,509
Oh, God! Fred,
I'm hallucinating!
193
00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:32,637
Quick, make me laugh
like Norville would have.
194
00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:35,598
I would. But all I can think of
right now is the gender pay gap.
195
00:08:35,681 --> 00:08:37,099
Is it funny?
196
00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:38,368
Women make 20% less than men.
197
00:08:38,392 --> 00:08:40,061
And women of color even less.
198
00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:42,897
I can't stop laughing.
199
00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:52,531
Ah, does anyone have
a defibrillator?
200
00:09:02,583 --> 00:09:04,210
Stop, you could lose a finger.
201
00:09:04,293 --> 00:09:05,795
And you helping
me isn't working.
202
00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:07,088
I need Norville back.
203
00:09:07,171 --> 00:09:09,131
I literally just
died without him.
204
00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:10,967
Well, almost died.
205
00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:14,720
Still, if I can separate reality
dating shows' exploitation of women
206
00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:16,764
from my obsessive
need to watch them,
207
00:09:16,847 --> 00:09:18,766
I can separate
Gigi from Norville.
208
00:09:18,849 --> 00:09:20,601
I have no choice but to lure him
209
00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:23,020
to the one place no
girlfriend would ever go.
210
00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:24,397
Oh, ooh! Let me guess.
211
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:26,482
Cigar lounge. His
dad's woodshop.
212
00:09:26,565 --> 00:09:28,025
World War II museum?
213
00:09:28,109 --> 00:09:30,194
No. My dad and stepmom are
out of the house tonight,
214
00:09:30,278 --> 00:09:32,071
so I'm gonna host a
little get together.
215
00:09:32,154 --> 00:09:35,491
Looks like the marching band
sleepover just got uncanceled.
216
00:09:35,574 --> 00:09:37,827
May God have mercy on my soul.
217
00:09:39,161 --> 00:09:41,914
Okay, remember to take
your pill with food,
218
00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:46,085
and absolutely no getting
murdered after curfew, young lady.
219
00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:50,965
Band members only. You got ID?
220
00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:57,722
Okay, listen up, nerds.
221
00:09:57,805 --> 00:09:59,056
We gotta keep it tidy.
222
00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:02,184
My dad's girlfriend
is a total OCD SOB.
223
00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:04,228
And she's bringing a
baby home tomorrow.
224
00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:08,024
So, if any of youse need to empty
your spit valves, do it in this.
225
00:10:08,107 --> 00:10:09,608
Was there anything else, Sophie?
226
00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:11,736
Uh, yeah, a lot, actually.
227
00:10:11,819 --> 00:10:13,404
Oh, right. Don't
break anything.
228
00:10:13,487 --> 00:10:15,281
Sophie will have a
heart attack and die.
229
00:10:15,364 --> 00:10:18,075
And then I'd have to help with
the baby until we find a nanny.
230
00:10:21,829 --> 00:10:23,039
Velma!
231
00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:24,266
What was that?
232
00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:25,875
Nothing, bye.
233
00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:27,460
Fred, you're not
allowed in here.
234
00:10:27,543 --> 00:10:29,086
I know, I know.
I'm not in band.
235
00:10:29,170 --> 00:10:31,464
Thank God. I'd
rather kiss a toilet.
236
00:10:31,547 --> 00:10:32,965
But speaking of kissing toilets,
237
00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:35,551
I still wanna win your
heart by helping you.
238
00:10:35,634 --> 00:10:37,261
Fred, I gave you a chance.
239
00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:38,971
I died... Hey, don't eat that!
240
00:10:39,055 --> 00:10:41,015
That's baking soda,
you filthy animal!
241
00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:43,434
But you don't have any food.
242
00:10:43,517 --> 00:10:45,157
And a marching band
sleepover without food
243
00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:48,564
is like a theater sleepover
without horny undertones.
244
00:10:48,647 --> 00:10:50,566
Crap! I forgot to order pizzas.
245
00:10:50,649 --> 00:10:52,485
On it.
246
00:10:52,568 --> 00:10:54,796
Your friends will remember this as
the best marching band sleepover ever.
247
00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:56,155
Move it, loser.
248
00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:02,578
The Crystal Mines
gang was comprised
249
00:11:02,661 --> 00:11:06,123
of former employees of the
Crystal Mines Mining Experience,
250
00:11:06,207 --> 00:11:10,586
who banded together when the
mines shuttered in the early '90s.
251
00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:14,298
Mine's closed.
Everyone's fired.
252
00:11:16,258 --> 00:11:18,761
The gang of newly
unemployed workers stayed behind,
253
00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:20,471
using the mine's old tour boats
254
00:11:20,554 --> 00:11:23,307
to travel beneath the
streets of Crystal Cove,
255
00:11:23,391 --> 00:11:26,727
conducting robberies
for years, undetected.
256
00:11:28,479 --> 00:11:31,524
By the time Detectives
Linda and Donna Blake
257
00:11:31,607 --> 00:11:32,983
brought the gang to justice,
258
00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:34,693
it had grown to 20 members,
259
00:11:34,777 --> 00:11:37,780
including one infant.
260
00:11:39,156 --> 00:11:41,283
Oh, my God!
261
00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:43,536
Genetically, I'm a villain.
262
00:11:43,619 --> 00:11:48,374
No wonder I'm attracted to a girl
who looks like a little henchman.
263
00:11:48,457 --> 00:11:50,102
Why are you
dropping me off here?
264
00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:51,710
Velma's house is a block away.
265
00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:54,171
Oh, no, I don't want to be
seen near your band friends.
266
00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:56,715
As principal, I have a
reputation to uphold.
267
00:11:56,799 --> 00:11:58,300
You understand, right?
268
00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:00,544
Totally. I could stay home
for curfew if that's easier.
269
00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:04,640
Night to ourselves!
270
00:12:04,723 --> 00:12:06,684
Time to get freaky!
271
00:12:10,938 --> 00:12:12,523
Band members only, Red.
272
00:12:12,606 --> 00:12:14,483
But I need to talk to Velma.
273
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,861
Hey, have you guys never
seen a girl before?
274
00:12:16,944 --> 00:12:19,321
You're pitching tents like
I'm launching a sneaker line.
275
00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:20,489
Daphne?
276
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,241
Velma, I may have
found my real...
277
00:12:22,324 --> 00:12:23,826
You haven't seen
Norville, have you?
278
00:12:23,909 --> 00:12:25,369
He's like the only dork in town,
279
00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:26,763
- not inside my house.
- No, but...
280
00:12:26,787 --> 00:12:27,997
Trumpet!
281
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:29,748
Do not use that
plunger as a mute.
282
00:12:29,832 --> 00:12:31,125
That's how Ebola happened.
283
00:12:31,208 --> 00:12:32,501
Velma, wait.
284
00:12:34,503 --> 00:12:36,255
Norville!
285
00:12:36,338 --> 00:12:39,341
You're not gonna believe this, but
I may have found my birth parents.
286
00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:41,594
No way. Tell me every detail.
287
00:12:41,677 --> 00:12:43,471
Sorry, I just need
to borrow this guy
288
00:12:43,554 --> 00:12:44,597
- for one second.
- Ah!
289
00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:50,853
Okay, Norville. I understand
that for some reason,
290
00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:54,732
you've chosen Gigi, a beautiful girl
who puts out, over your angry friend.
291
00:12:54,815 --> 00:12:58,194
But I have a clue about my mom, and
I can't research it without you.
292
00:12:58,277 --> 00:13:00,196
Please.
293
00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:04,325
Oh, I... I guess I can
help with one clue.
294
00:13:04,408 --> 00:13:06,035
Thank you.
295
00:13:06,118 --> 00:13:08,329
But make it fast. It sounds
like Gigi just got here.
296
00:13:08,412 --> 00:13:09,412
Gigi?
297
00:13:10,956 --> 00:13:12,208
Stop.
298
00:13:12,291 --> 00:13:13,643
What the hell are
you doing here, Gigi?
299
00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:15,836
Hot girls aren't in
band. They're in choir.
300
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,672
I know, but Norville
made band sound so fun,
301
00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:19,924
I didn't wanna miss out.
302
00:13:20,007 --> 00:13:22,051
So, one call to the
registrar and voila!
303
00:13:22,134 --> 00:13:24,553
It's pronounced
viola, you idiot,
304
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:26,222
and that's an orchestra thing.
305
00:13:26,305 --> 00:13:27,890
I know that. And let me guess.
306
00:13:27,973 --> 00:13:30,142
You play bassoon.
307
00:13:31,977 --> 00:13:33,145
How dare you?
308
00:13:33,229 --> 00:13:34,605
I'm a flutatist.
309
00:13:34,688 --> 00:13:35,564
Interesting.
310
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:37,066
So am I.
311
00:13:37,149 --> 00:13:39,276
So how about we have
a little flute-off?
312
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:43,280
If I win, I stay.
313
00:13:43,364 --> 00:13:44,490
And if I win,
314
00:13:44,573 --> 00:13:46,534
Norville does whatever
I say, forever.
315
00:13:46,617 --> 00:13:47,785
And do I get to weigh in?
316
00:13:47,868 --> 00:13:48,994
No!
317
00:13:49,078 --> 00:13:52,414
Flute, flute, flute!
318
00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:07,846
Ah, so good, babe,
I support you.
319
00:14:09,098 --> 00:14:10,307
Everybody duck.
320
00:14:10,391 --> 00:14:12,518
There's about to be
a drive-by fluting.
321
00:14:22,820 --> 00:14:26,156
Should we stop them? Devon just
unplugged his cochlear implants.
322
00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:34,790
We survived!
323
00:14:34,873 --> 00:14:37,501
- Was that jazz?
- Totally flute battle ever!
324
00:14:37,585 --> 00:14:39,044
Gigi wins!
325
00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:40,629
Hey.
326
00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:42,423
Just checking in on the pizza.
327
00:14:42,506 --> 00:14:46,385
Do we have an ETA on
when we can E-A-T?
328
00:14:48,470 --> 00:14:51,015
I do. In two seconds,
you're gonna eat my fist.
329
00:14:51,098 --> 00:14:53,475
But I need to take
a pill with food.
330
00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:54,977
- Me, too.
- Me, too.
331
00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:57,146
Me, too.
332
00:14:58,897 --> 00:15:00,375
I'm sorry. I hate to do this,
but I'm trying to impress
333
00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:02,776
a very smart, very
stout young woman.
334
00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:06,655
So, when I say quadruple
meat, I mean quadruple meat.
335
00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:09,033
Make them again! And
untie those garlic knots.
336
00:15:09,116 --> 00:15:10,284
She likes breadsticks.
337
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:14,705
Can I help you?
338
00:15:14,788 --> 00:15:15,956
Look, let's cut the crap.
339
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:18,083
Norville was mine way
before he was yours.
340
00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:19,793
So I'm only gonna say this once.
341
00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:24,923
Please, please, please let
Norville help me. I need him.
342
00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:27,760
Please.
343
00:15:27,843 --> 00:15:31,013
Hey, Daph. Since curfew has
us stuck inside all night,
344
00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:33,015
you wanna set up the
old silk screener, huh?
345
00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:36,101
Maybe throw some vacation
photos on the tote bag?
346
00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:40,648
Actually, I was hoping we could
talk about the story of my adoption.
347
00:15:40,731 --> 00:15:41,815
What's to talk about?
348
00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:43,901
It's like we've always said.
349
00:15:43,984 --> 00:15:46,087
We
found you wrapped in a blanket
350
00:15:46,111 --> 00:15:47,529
in the middle of a cornfield.
351
00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:51,950
Right. So I was just
lying on the ground or...
352
00:15:52,034 --> 00:15:52,868
No...
353
00:15:52,951 --> 00:15:54,244
You were in a crater.
354
00:15:54,328 --> 00:15:56,038
You know, the way
you're talking in unison
355
00:15:56,121 --> 00:15:57,790
makes this feel
kind of rehearsed.
356
00:15:57,873 --> 00:16:00,918
It's
not rehearsed, sweetie.
357
00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:03,587
This is the true story
of your adoption.
358
00:16:03,671 --> 00:16:08,384
So my origin is the
exact same as Superman?
359
00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:10,386
We don't know who that is.
360
00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:17,893
Look, I'm simply
proposing we share Norville.
361
00:16:17,976 --> 00:16:21,355
I get him Monday, Wednesday, Friday,
and whenever I have a casual whim.
362
00:16:21,438 --> 00:16:24,483
Velma, Norville isn't something
you share like a sandwich.
363
00:16:24,566 --> 00:16:26,235
Who shares a sandwich?
364
00:16:26,318 --> 00:16:28,505
Do you even know what's going
on with his family right now?
365
00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:31,240
What? Are their matching
Christmas pajamas on back order?
366
00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:33,617
Yes! But also... Sorry.
367
00:16:33,701 --> 00:16:37,204
I promised Norville that I
wouldn't talk about it with you.
368
00:16:37,287 --> 00:16:38,372
With me?
369
00:16:38,455 --> 00:16:40,082
But Norville tells
me everything.
370
00:16:40,165 --> 00:16:41,417
I have to go.
371
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:43,919
Norville would be mad
if you even knew I knew.
372
00:16:44,002 --> 00:16:45,002
Bye!
373
00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:48,674
Oh, wait. That!
374
00:16:49,758 --> 00:16:52,010
- No, I know about that.
- Wait.
375
00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:53,721
You do? He told you?
376
00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:57,474
He did. And honestly, I'm
shocked he told you, given...
377
00:16:57,558 --> 00:16:58,600
Given what?
378
00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:01,311
You know. Your... you know.
379
00:17:01,395 --> 00:17:03,123
Are you sure we're talking
about the same thing?
380
00:17:03,147 --> 00:17:06,108
I haven't been this positive
since my scoliosis test,
381
00:17:06,191 --> 00:17:07,860
but the only way
to know for sure
382
00:17:07,943 --> 00:17:10,487
is if we say it at
exactly the same time.
383
00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:12,197
Well, that seems smart.
384
00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:14,700
Dr. Edna Perdue is
your grandmother?
385
00:17:14,783 --> 00:17:17,828
You know my mom went missing when
she was researching her house.
386
00:17:17,911 --> 00:17:19,747
Gigi, I swore you to secrecy.
387
00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:22,016
You placed your hand on your
verified checkmark and everything.
388
00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:23,959
How could you tell
Gigi and not me?
389
00:17:24,042 --> 00:17:25,169
You tell me everything.
390
00:17:25,252 --> 00:17:26,837
I don't always
listen, but still.
391
00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:28,213
I can't talk about this.
392
00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:30,591
I never should have
trusted either of you.
393
00:17:30,674 --> 00:17:31,674
Norville.
394
00:17:36,054 --> 00:17:37,806
Oh, my God, Velma, I did it.
395
00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:39,224
For the first time in my life,
396
00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:41,143
I didn't bungle a
task so badly that
397
00:17:41,226 --> 00:17:44,438
it needs to be covered up
by an Israeli security firm.
398
00:17:49,067 --> 00:17:50,444
It's okay, it's okay.
399
00:17:50,527 --> 00:17:52,780
This is just what they
call Detroit style pizza.
400
00:17:52,863 --> 00:17:54,549
Curfew time!
401
00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:56,825
Last one inside is a
person of interest.
402
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:58,827
And now it's basically Dominoes.
403
00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:04,333
Well, I tried, but
only got halfway there.
404
00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:07,628
That's just me living up to
my label as a male feminist.
405
00:18:07,711 --> 00:18:09,338
Well, curfew started,
406
00:18:09,421 --> 00:18:11,107
and you're stuck here all
night, Norville. So spill it.
407
00:18:11,131 --> 00:18:13,467
How is my mom's disappearance
related to your grandma?
408
00:18:13,550 --> 00:18:15,010
I can't talk about it.
409
00:18:15,093 --> 00:18:16,929
I just learned about
it a few days ago,
410
00:18:17,012 --> 00:18:18,931
and the truth could
ruin my mom's life.
411
00:18:19,014 --> 00:18:20,599
Your mom's a high
school principal
412
00:18:20,682 --> 00:18:22,351
married to a guidance counselor.
413
00:18:22,434 --> 00:18:23,794
It can't get more
ruined than that.
414
00:18:25,145 --> 00:18:26,145
What the hell!
415
00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:31,819
Hey, I told you not
to mess up my house.
416
00:18:31,902 --> 00:18:33,111
I'll be disowned.
417
00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:34,863
And I'm too old and
mouthy to be adopted.
418
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:38,033
This is what happens when
we don't take our pills.
419
00:18:38,116 --> 00:18:41,370
We gotta feed these nerds now
or my house will be destroyed.
420
00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:45,666
Wait, I found a bag of salad.
421
00:18:45,749 --> 00:18:47,084
Velma, don't.
422
00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:49,545
These are band nerds.
423
00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:51,922
They subsist on energy
drinks and chips.
424
00:18:52,005 --> 00:18:54,049
You give them something
green, they could die.
425
00:18:54,132 --> 00:18:55,551
Well, if it has to be unhealthy,
426
00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:56,885
then what about Spooners?
427
00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:59,304
The health inspector
called it "I quit"
428
00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:02,474
Well, that could work, but no
one's allowed outside right now.
429
00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:03,934
I am the mayor.
430
00:19:05,394 --> 00:19:06,395
Except for cops.
431
00:19:09,064 --> 00:19:10,148
Fred, you're a genius.
432
00:19:10,232 --> 00:19:12,067
Yes, I've finally helped you.
433
00:19:12,150 --> 00:19:14,069
So, are you into me now or what?
434
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:17,239
We could take Daphne's moms' cop
car to Spooners to get food there.
435
00:19:17,322 --> 00:19:18,907
Unfortunately, I don't drive.
436
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:21,159
And Fred doesn't drive,
and Gigi doesn't drive.
437
00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:24,580
And Norville, in light of the recent
revelation that I take advantage of you,
438
00:19:24,663 --> 00:19:27,124
I couldn't expect you
to do this for me.
439
00:19:27,207 --> 00:19:29,877
So... Oh, well, it was
almost a good idea.
440
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:32,546
Guess my house will
just get destroyed.
441
00:19:32,629 --> 00:19:34,006
No.
442
00:19:34,089 --> 00:19:35,883
- I'll do it.
- No!
443
00:19:35,966 --> 00:19:39,386
Norville, I told you if you
do any more simping for her,
444
00:19:39,469 --> 00:19:41,054
we're through.
445
00:19:41,138 --> 00:19:43,682
Gigi, I am not doing this
because I'm simping for Velma.
446
00:19:43,765 --> 00:19:46,351
I'm doing this because
it's the right thing to do.
447
00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:48,896
I'm simping for myself.
448
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:51,732
- Oh, yuck!
- Ugh!
449
00:19:51,815 --> 00:19:53,835
I just need someone to get the
keys to the car from Daphne.
450
00:19:55,152 --> 00:19:57,237
Me? But I do
everything around here.
451
00:20:02,618 --> 00:20:03,619
Join us.
452
00:20:06,496 --> 00:20:07,998
Velma, finally!
453
00:20:08,081 --> 00:20:10,101
You're literally the only
person I can talk to right now,
454
00:20:10,125 --> 00:20:12,294
- and I'm freaking out.
- Okay, it's okay.
455
00:20:12,377 --> 00:20:15,505
Calm down. I'm here, and
all I wanna do is help you.
456
00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:17,424
- Really?
- Yes.
457
00:20:17,507 --> 00:20:20,135
Immediately after you
do me a huge favor.
458
00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:24,723
Thank you so much, Daphne,
459
00:20:24,806 --> 00:20:26,784
and whatever's going on with
you, just put it in a text
460
00:20:26,808 --> 00:20:30,354
and I promise I'll give it a thumbs
up by Monday at the earliest.
461
00:20:35,817 --> 00:20:37,217
Huh.
462
00:20:47,579 --> 00:20:49,164
All right, let's
get out of here.
463
00:20:49,247 --> 00:20:51,184
Those roaches are not happy
we're stealing their homes.
464
00:20:51,208 --> 00:20:53,085
Wait, hold on. We
need to go back.
465
00:20:53,168 --> 00:20:54,836
I wanna write an
IOU for the food.
466
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,421
There's no time!
You'll get caught.
467
00:20:56,505 --> 00:20:57,798
Sorry, I have no choice.
468
00:20:57,881 --> 00:20:59,601
I mean, if we don't
support a small business
469
00:20:59,633 --> 00:21:01,927
owned by a woman
of color, who will?
470
00:21:03,136 --> 00:21:04,513
Wow, Norville.
471
00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:06,556
You're not just a
better friend than I am,
472
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:08,183
you're a better person.
473
00:21:08,266 --> 00:21:10,352
And I give homeless
people hella nickels.
474
00:21:12,187 --> 00:21:15,399
So, I hear they're giving
out free Katy Perry tickets
475
00:21:15,482 --> 00:21:18,360
to serial killers over
at the police station.
476
00:21:18,443 --> 00:21:21,321
Sounds like a good deal. You
might wanna check it out.
477
00:21:21,405 --> 00:21:24,116
Oh, God, what are we gonna
do? I can't go back to jail.
478
00:21:24,199 --> 00:21:26,868
I still owe my cell mate
notes on his screenplay.
479
00:21:32,207 --> 00:21:33,709
Don't worry, you guys head home.
480
00:21:33,792 --> 00:21:34,992
I'll distract Sheriff Cogburn.
481
00:21:35,043 --> 00:21:36,712
But, Velma, you
could go to jail.
482
00:21:36,795 --> 00:21:39,881
You'd hate it. They spend
an hour outdoors every day.
483
00:21:39,965 --> 00:21:41,216
It's only for one night.
484
00:21:42,050 --> 00:21:43,301
And you'd do it for me.
485
00:21:44,011 --> 00:21:47,097
Wow. Thanks.
486
00:21:47,180 --> 00:21:49,182
Just get out of here
before I change my mind.
487
00:21:50,642 --> 00:21:51,977
Wait! I changed my mind.
488
00:21:52,060 --> 00:21:53,895
Now I changed it
back. Go, quick.
489
00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:56,857
Hey! Hey, you there!
490
00:21:56,940 --> 00:21:57,941
Hey, Cogburn.
491
00:21:58,025 --> 00:21:58,817
What the...
492
00:21:58,900 --> 00:22:00,318
I'm out past curfew,
493
00:22:00,402 --> 00:22:02,571
and I think the movie
Serpico is boring.
494
00:22:02,654 --> 00:22:03,934
What are you gonna
do about that?
495
00:22:05,615 --> 00:22:06,616
Gotcha!
496
00:22:18,587 --> 00:22:20,589
Principal Rogers?
497
00:22:20,672 --> 00:22:22,549
Oh, my God, I have to post this.
498
00:22:22,632 --> 00:22:25,552
What will it take for
you to not do that?
499
00:22:33,477 --> 00:22:34,978
Hello.
500
00:22:35,062 --> 00:22:37,439
Welcome to the Crystal
Mines Mining Experience.
501
00:22:37,522 --> 00:22:39,316
I'm Casey Kasem,
502
00:22:39,399 --> 00:22:42,778
here to guide you through
America's 40th most popular mine.
503
00:22:45,405 --> 00:22:46,656
Oh, man.
504
00:22:46,740 --> 00:22:48,450
Oh, no. We're too late.
505
00:22:53,789 --> 00:22:56,750
Rise and shine!
You're all free to go.
506
00:22:56,833 --> 00:22:58,335
Since you didn't
post that picture,
507
00:22:58,418 --> 00:23:00,170
be in my office Monday morning.
508
00:23:00,253 --> 00:23:03,965
I'll tell you everything I know
about my mom, Dr. Edna Perdue.
509
00:23:08,220 --> 00:23:09,221
Great.
510
00:23:09,304 --> 00:23:10,806
Welcome home, Amanda.
511
00:23:10,889 --> 00:23:13,225
If you think the outside
is clean and tidy,
512
00:23:13,308 --> 00:23:14,976
you ain't seen nothing.
513
00:23:15,060 --> 00:23:17,145
Isn't that right, Velma?
514
00:23:21,316 --> 00:23:22,316
What?
515
00:23:25,529 --> 00:23:28,031
- Ugh!
- Oh, that's so cute.
516
00:23:28,115 --> 00:23:29,950
And don't worry, Velma
will clean it up.
517
00:23:32,244 --> 00:23:34,996
Dear Velma, sorry
the band made such a mess.
518
00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:38,667
Gigi wants you to know that Norville
did not clean your house for you.
519
00:23:38,750 --> 00:23:41,920
Norville did, however, threaten to
shove our instruments up our butts
520
00:23:42,003 --> 00:23:44,297
if we didn't clean
it. Musically, yours.
521
00:23:44,381 --> 00:23:46,007
The marching band.
522
00:23:46,091 --> 00:23:48,218
Velma, what the hell
happened to your teeth?
523
00:23:58,728 --> 00:24:00,188
This first factoid
524
00:24:00,272 --> 00:24:02,272
goes out to Jenny L. in...
525
00:24:04,693 --> 00:24:06,361
Welcome home, Daphne.
526
00:24:06,444 --> 00:24:09,197
I'm your mother, Caroll.
527
00:24:09,281 --> 00:24:12,659
And I'm your father, Darren.
528
00:24:12,742 --> 00:24:15,996
And this is
the Crystal Mines Gang.
529
00:24:24,671 --> 00:24:25,922
Yeah, sorry.
530
00:24:26,006 --> 00:24:27,924
I'd be lying if I said
you'll get used to that.
39909
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