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00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:32,134
Oh, there it is.
4
00:01:40,643 --> 00:01:42,978
Who closes the door,
keeps the door.
5
00:01:43,062 --> 00:01:46,190
No, you can't do this.
6
00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:47,358
No!
7
00:04:03,827 --> 00:04:06,163
No, no, no, no, no, no.
8
00:04:08,624 --> 00:04:10,084
Oh, bloody alarm.
9
00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:31,313
No.
10
00:04:36,902 --> 00:04:37,987
Neville.
11
00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:44,118
Kidding me.
12
00:05:06,724 --> 00:05:08,058
Thank you.
13
00:05:13,188 --> 00:05:14,440
What the…
14
00:05:19,278 --> 00:05:20,779
Excuse me. Sorry.
15
00:05:23,324 --> 00:05:24,408
Sorry.
16
00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:32,249
Sorry.
17
00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,543
Sorry guys, excuse me.
18
00:05:36,170 --> 00:05:37,254
Sorry.
19
00:05:37,338 --> 00:05:39,757
Hi. Is this the line for applicants?
—Join the queue.
20
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,133
Oh. Thank you.
21
00:05:43,969 --> 00:05:46,597
Excuse me. Sorry, are you here for
the barista job?
22
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,390
Paul! Paul Carpenter?
23
00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:51,226
It is you!
24
00:05:52,728 --> 00:05:54,146
Thought it wasn't you for a minute.
25
00:05:54,229 --> 00:05:56,315
Here's me calling out to a stranger!
26
00:05:57,441 --> 00:06:01,028
Monty Smith—Gregg! Don't you dare
tell me you don't remember me!
27
00:06:01,111 --> 00:06:03,197
Um…
—You don't! Or you do?
28
00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:05,074
I can't tell with that
funny face of yours.
29
00:06:05,157 --> 00:06:06,658
You always had that look in class.
30
00:06:06,742 --> 00:06:10,037
I taught 18th Century Ethics
and History of Music.
31
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:12,623
At Kings.
—Oh, I didn't go to Kings.
32
00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:14,208
And other campuses.
33
00:06:14,291 --> 00:06:16,085
I had long hair and a beard.
34
00:06:16,168 --> 00:06:17,628
You used to sit next to Neville.
35
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:20,464
Yes.
Funny Neville with his weak knees.
36
00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:23,509
Plus I coached you in football,
Mr Forgetty!
37
00:06:23,592 --> 00:06:26,261
This is such a coincidence.
38
00:06:26,345 --> 00:06:27,763
You still got that shirt?
39
00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:29,681
The one with the—
Oh, what did it say?
40
00:06:29,765 --> 00:06:31,725
I should go. How's your brother?
41
00:06:32,351 --> 00:06:33,477
I don't have a brother.
42
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:36,397
Anyway, must dash.
I have an interview, just like you.
43
00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:37,815
Another coincidence!
44
00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:39,900
Bye!
—Bye.
45
00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:43,821
Monty?
46
00:06:56,834 --> 00:06:57,835
Great.
47
00:06:58,419 --> 00:06:59,878
Hey!
48
00:07:01,046 --> 00:07:03,382
Wait!
49
00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:07,177
Stop! Grab that dog!
50
00:07:07,553 --> 00:07:08,429
Hey!
51
00:08:00,397 --> 00:08:02,191
Hello?
52
00:08:31,386 --> 00:08:34,014
Excuse me, but are you here
for the job interview?
53
00:08:34,097 --> 00:08:35,974
It says 'applicants' on the door,
54
00:08:36,058 --> 00:08:38,560
but this is an odd place for
a job interview.
55
00:08:40,479 --> 00:08:42,814
I was actually supposed
to have an interview at a cafe,
56
00:08:42,898 --> 00:08:45,108
which is interesting. Mildly.
57
00:08:46,109 --> 00:08:48,820
Do you know what they do here?
58
00:08:48,904 --> 00:08:50,906
Or what position—
—I'm sorry.
59
00:08:50,989 --> 00:08:53,408
Is there something I'm doing to make
you want to talk to me?
60
00:08:53,492 --> 00:08:56,078
Pardon?
—I really need to focus. Sorry.
61
00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:59,373
No, of course.
Yeah, you should focus.
62
00:09:00,749 --> 00:09:02,251
Oh you're watching…
63
00:09:03,293 --> 00:09:06,088
Maybe I should just watch too.
64
00:09:06,171 --> 00:09:07,839
We've always been there…
65
00:09:09,383 --> 00:09:10,884
… and always will.
66
00:09:12,803 --> 00:09:16,682
Life at JW Wells as
a new recruit is never dull.
67
00:09:16,765 --> 00:09:18,100
On the contrary,
68
00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:21,186
the job can be demanding,
and often confronting.
69
00:09:22,271 --> 00:09:25,857
We may not advertise our services
and shout our name from the rooftops
70
00:09:25,941 --> 00:09:28,485
but that is
because we do not need to.
71
00:09:29,403 --> 00:09:31,572
Our reputation is already
well established
72
00:09:31,655 --> 00:09:34,032
which is why
we can hide in the shadows,
73
00:09:34,116 --> 00:09:35,993
waiting for people to come to us.
74
00:09:37,452 --> 00:09:40,831
Now you know a bit about what
we do here at JW Wells and Company
75
00:09:41,832 --> 00:09:43,584
we hope you will join our team.
76
00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:51,717
No, you were—
You were outstanding, my dear.
77
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:54,177
Mr Wells was very impressed.
We all were.
78
00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:57,014
That's a relief. He's a personal
hero of mine, you know.
79
00:09:57,097 --> 00:10:00,767
Yes.
—Oh good luck! Just have fun with it.
80
00:10:02,227 --> 00:10:05,272
These other interviews
are just formalities.
81
00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:07,316
The job is all but yours.
82
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,945
Paul Carpenter.
83
00:10:12,571 --> 00:10:14,281
What? Me?
84
00:10:15,824 --> 00:10:17,534
How does he know my name?
85
00:10:19,995 --> 00:10:20,954
Chop—chop!
86
00:10:29,046 --> 00:10:31,340
So what is it you do here?
87
00:10:32,924 --> 00:10:34,885
We do what we can.
88
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,178
Right.
89
00:10:48,523 --> 00:10:49,775
Mr Wells.
90
00:10:49,858 --> 00:10:52,986
Ladies and gentlemen of the board,
this is Paul Carpenter.
91
00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:56,198
Glad you found us.
92
00:10:56,281 --> 00:10:58,367
The side entrance is a bit tricky.
93
00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:02,079
Apologies about the lobby
being renovated.
94
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:06,416
It's all to align with
the new dawn of our great company.
95
00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:09,127
You will be part of that
new dawn too.
96
00:11:09,211 --> 00:11:11,880
I will be?
—Well you could be.
97
00:11:11,963 --> 00:11:14,841
It all rather depends on the next
two minutes, wouldn't you say?
98
00:11:14,925 --> 00:11:16,093
Right.
99
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:18,929
Why don't you tell us
something about yourself, Paul?
100
00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:22,057
Ah, there's not much to tell,
really.
101
00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:24,685
I've got four GCSEs
and two A—Levels.
102
00:11:24,768 --> 00:11:27,104
I'm currently between employment.
103
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:28,355
Single.
104
00:11:28,438 --> 00:11:29,856
I live with a friend, Neville,
105
00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:31,983
who hasn't paid his half
of the rent for two months
106
00:11:32,067 --> 00:11:34,486
but let's not hold that against him
even though it does mean
107
00:11:34,569 --> 00:11:37,823
we'll probably be evicted,
unless I get this job. Well, a job.
108
00:11:37,906 --> 00:11:39,950
Highly unlikely that I get this job.
109
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,993
Especially if I keep talking.
But I'd like it.
110
00:11:42,077 --> 00:11:44,079
You know, whatever it is,
it seems…
111
00:11:44,162 --> 00:11:45,414
… interesting.
112
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:50,001
Anyway, yeah. That's… me.
113
00:11:50,085 --> 00:11:53,588
And what makes you think that you'd
be suited to this position?
114
00:11:55,757 --> 00:11:58,301
I don't know.
—Well what made you apply?
115
00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:01,179
Ah, coincidence really.
116
00:12:01,263 --> 00:12:02,431
Go on.
117
00:12:02,514 --> 00:12:04,224
Well, my alarm didn't go off.
118
00:12:04,307 --> 00:12:07,561
My trousers had a stain.
My shoelace broke. Twice.
119
00:12:08,478 --> 00:12:10,355
A dog stole my scarf.
The toaster blew up.
120
00:12:10,439 --> 00:12:12,816
I ran into someone who used to
teach me at university
121
00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:14,276
although I don't remember him
at all,
122
00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:16,862
and then I chased the dog,
and here I am.
123
00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:19,322
Any hobbies?
—Pardon?
124
00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:21,700
What do you do in your spare time?
125
00:12:21,783 --> 00:12:25,203
Well, all my time is spare really.
—Oh.
126
00:12:25,287 --> 00:12:27,622
But I used to paint model soldiers.
—Which period?
127
00:12:27,706 --> 00:12:30,667
Ah, medieval.
I also do those fantasy ones.
128
00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:33,044
Trolls and goblins.
—Goblins.
129
00:12:33,128 --> 00:12:35,255
I tried Napoleonic,
but they were too fiddly.
130
00:12:35,338 --> 00:12:36,506
I see.
131
00:12:37,966 --> 00:12:39,050
I don't do that so much now.
132
00:12:39,134 --> 00:12:43,513
And what do you most
admire about the works of Chekhov?
133
00:12:44,014 --> 00:12:45,724
Ah, I don't know.
134
00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:48,769
The way he says 'Course laid in,
Captain' is pretty cool.
135
00:12:48,852 --> 00:12:50,896
But mostly he doesn't get
to do much.
136
00:12:50,979 --> 00:12:52,689
Chekhov the playwright.
137
00:12:53,982 --> 00:12:55,358
Star Trek?
138
00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:56,568
Any languages?
139
00:12:56,651 --> 00:12:58,320
French and German at school,
140
00:12:58,403 --> 00:13:02,908
but I can't really remember
any of it now…
141
00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:06,286
—Sorry?
142
00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:09,080
Casimir is asking you
about your social life, pumpkin.
143
00:13:12,667 --> 00:13:13,627
Pardon?
144
00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:16,379
What are you looking at
Mr Carpenter?
145
00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:18,632
Oh sorry. It's nothing.
146
00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:19,925
It's…
147
00:13:20,008 --> 00:13:21,635
You seem distracted.
148
00:13:22,844 --> 00:13:25,096
It's just the wallpaper.
149
00:13:25,180 --> 00:13:27,891
The cracks are a map of London.
150
00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:32,771
The Tube.
151
00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:35,649
And there's the M25.
152
00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:37,234
There's Hyde Park.
153
00:13:38,652 --> 00:13:41,238
As soon as you see it,
you can't unsee it.
154
00:13:43,532 --> 00:13:45,826
It's like one of those
magic eye things.
155
00:13:51,414 --> 00:13:55,293
Well this has been
a truly forgettable experience.
156
00:13:55,377 --> 00:13:57,462
Shall I see you out, Mr Carpenter?
—Oh that's OK.
157
00:13:57,546 --> 00:13:59,297
Yes I shall. Come on!
—Sorry.
158
00:13:59,381 --> 00:14:02,133
Well, thanks for meeting you all.
Good to…
159
00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:04,427
I mean to meet you.
160
00:14:04,511 --> 00:14:06,096
We heard it. Thank you.
161
00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:21,486
Oh… you.
162
00:14:25,323 --> 00:14:27,534
Stay. Stay.
163
00:14:36,751 --> 00:14:37,794
Alright?
164
00:14:39,588 --> 00:14:41,089
Oh dear.
165
00:14:41,172 --> 00:14:43,466
How is anyone supposed to get
a job in this town?
166
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:46,595
You should just go abroad.
You know, be a man of letters.
167
00:14:46,678 --> 00:14:49,431
Paul Carpenter, Renaissance man.
168
00:14:49,514 --> 00:14:52,809
Renaissance men usually have
more than £5 to their name.
169
00:14:53,518 --> 00:14:55,478
Any ladies there?
—No.
170
00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:58,398
Liar. Spill.
171
00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:01,902
Neville.
172
00:15:03,153 --> 00:15:05,405
Hmm?
What's going on?
173
00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:07,574
Yeah, the couch is gone.
174
00:15:07,657 --> 00:15:09,576
Yes, I noticed that.
175
00:15:09,659 --> 00:15:11,536
I'm moving home.
—What?
176
00:15:12,454 --> 00:15:14,205
Like right now?
—I'm sorry. I just—
177
00:15:14,289 --> 00:15:18,001
Do you ever feel like you're not
meant for this kind of you know,
178
00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:19,753
work, rent, bills, bus.
179
00:15:19,836 --> 00:15:21,755
Tube, bills, work,
rent kind of life?
180
00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:22,839
Yes. Of course we all do—
181
00:15:22,923 --> 00:15:25,508
Well I had this amazing epiphany
last night, and I thought Neville,
182
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:27,677
why are you being
a slave to the system?
183
00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:29,971
You know, go home.
Go back to university.
184
00:15:30,055 --> 00:15:32,307
Just never leave again.
185
00:15:32,390 --> 00:15:33,391
Right—
186
00:15:33,475 --> 00:15:35,268
And do you know what?
As soon as I said it,
187
00:15:35,352 --> 00:15:38,104
I just felt… free.
188
00:15:38,188 --> 00:15:41,691
Wow, I'm really happy for you,
but where does that leave me?
189
00:15:41,775 --> 00:15:43,234
We're all individuals, Paul.
190
00:15:43,318 --> 00:15:45,111
You are free to make your own
choices, mate.
191
00:15:45,195 --> 00:15:46,988
Ignoring the fact that
I don't have a job,
192
00:15:47,072 --> 00:15:48,740
and my parents have
moved to Florida.
193
00:15:48,823 --> 00:15:50,825
Yeah, ignoring that.
—I can't believe this, Neville.
194
00:15:50,909 --> 00:15:52,118
I know. I'm gonna miss you too.
195
00:15:52,202 --> 00:15:54,829
No, I mean how am I meant to find
someone with zero notice?
196
00:15:54,913 --> 00:15:57,248
I'll pay for next week.
—You're already two months behind.
197
00:15:57,332 --> 00:15:59,751
Alright, well maybe you'll get—
198
00:16:06,257 --> 00:16:08,635
JW Wells & Co.
199
00:16:08,718 --> 00:16:10,637
That's where my interview was.
200
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:13,056
But I didn't give them this address.
201
00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:14,391
"Dear Mr Carpenter.
202
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:18,019
Thank you for your smashing
interview at 9:43am today.
203
00:16:18,103 --> 00:16:21,314
It was a real highlight,
and we were unanimously impressed.
204
00:16:21,398 --> 00:16:25,151
We are therefore thrilled to offer
you the position of paid intern.
205
00:16:25,235 --> 00:16:26,486
It would be most agreeable,
206
00:16:26,569 --> 00:16:30,240
if you could make yourself available
for work from tomorrow, 9am sharp.
207
00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:33,702
Please enter through the main
entrance at 70 Saint Mary's…"
208
00:16:33,785 --> 00:16:35,120
Bloody hell.
209
00:16:35,954 --> 00:16:37,455
I got a job.
—You see?
210
00:16:37,539 --> 00:16:38,873
It all works out in the end.
211
00:16:41,459 --> 00:16:43,461
I got a job!
212
00:17:17,912 --> 00:17:18,788
Thank you.
213
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,018
Mr Roden.
214
00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:27,232
Referral please.
215
00:18:32,821 --> 00:18:34,030
Eww.
216
00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:38,368
Suite 1409.
217
00:18:42,497 --> 00:18:44,082
What's the matter?
218
00:18:44,165 --> 00:18:45,416
Need help sitting?
219
00:18:45,500 --> 00:18:47,585
Oh I'm not—
220
00:18:48,837 --> 00:18:50,046
Ah!
221
00:18:52,715 --> 00:18:55,718
Well, Rosie,
what do we think of the new lobby?
222
00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:57,470
Oh, Mr Wells!
223
00:18:57,554 --> 00:18:59,389
I was expecting to be pleased,
224
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:01,683
but this morning
when I saw it for the first time
225
00:19:01,766 --> 00:19:05,103
my heart burst with
a new passion for my work.
226
00:19:05,186 --> 00:19:06,855
Can't tell if you're being serious.
227
00:19:06,938 --> 00:19:10,608
I couldn't be more serious
about the new lobby.
228
00:19:13,611 --> 00:19:15,446
Carpenter!
—Hi.
229
00:19:15,530 --> 00:19:17,949
Wearing a suit, I see.
230
00:19:18,032 --> 00:19:20,076
Very nice. Making an effort. Tick.
231
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:22,579
Try to be yourself, bigger tick.
232
00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:25,540
We're all a big happy family here,
aren't we, Rosie?
233
00:19:26,541 --> 00:19:29,043
Yes?
—One big happy family.
234
00:19:29,127 --> 00:19:33,047
We're going to tear
through mountains together, Paul?
235
00:19:33,131 --> 00:19:35,049
Paul. OK.
236
00:19:35,133 --> 00:19:37,177
I love to tear… mountains.
237
00:19:44,184 --> 00:19:45,894
Paul Carpenter.
238
00:19:48,104 --> 00:19:50,273
Last chance to change your mind.
239
00:19:54,319 --> 00:19:55,612
Mr Tanner?
240
00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:57,405
The new intern's here.
241
00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:01,534
Oh no, she's here already, Mum.
Ah, I mean Rosie.
242
00:20:02,327 --> 00:20:04,078
Well they're coming in
thick and fast
243
00:20:04,162 --> 00:20:07,665
because there's another one here
with a clueless look on his face.
244
00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:12,503
I don't suppose you could fill me in
on what this company actually does?
245
00:20:24,432 --> 00:20:25,683
Carpenter.
246
00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:29,312
I was hoping you'd died.
247
00:20:30,438 --> 00:20:32,857
Follow me. Chop—chop.
248
00:20:32,941 --> 00:20:34,067
Dennis!
249
00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:37,070
Shirt.
—Oh. Yeah.
250
00:20:38,238 --> 00:20:39,864
Come on. Pleb!
251
00:20:39,948 --> 00:20:41,241
Come on!
252
00:20:44,285 --> 00:20:45,620
For God's sake.
253
00:20:47,956 --> 00:20:49,415
No, not that way.
254
00:20:51,834 --> 00:20:52,877
Why is the—
255
00:20:54,170 --> 00:20:57,382
All this was meant to be
done by Christmas.
256
00:20:57,465 --> 00:20:58,841
By Christmas!
257
00:21:00,510 --> 00:21:01,552
Now.
258
00:21:01,636 --> 00:21:04,847
Interns report to me and me only,
is that clear?
259
00:21:04,931 --> 00:21:06,140
OK. Yes.
260
00:21:06,224 --> 00:21:07,684
Yes, Mr Tanner.
261
00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:11,604
Now, JW Wells is
a highly respected firm.
262
00:21:11,688 --> 00:21:13,439
Oops!
263
00:21:14,148 --> 00:21:17,735
And we expect nothing less
than excellence from our employees.
264
00:21:18,945 --> 00:21:20,488
That clear?
—Of course.
265
00:21:20,571 --> 00:21:22,657
Of course Mr Tanner!
266
00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:25,910
Now in return,
267
00:21:25,994 --> 00:21:29,706
you will be working for the most
innovative company in history.
268
00:21:32,083 --> 00:21:33,376
Don't panic.
269
00:21:39,424 --> 00:21:41,217
All clear. No harm done.
270
00:21:41,968 --> 00:21:43,428
With me, boy.
271
00:21:46,014 --> 00:21:49,767
Now listen very carefully.
This is really all you need to know.
272
00:21:49,851 --> 00:21:54,063
For centuries, our distinguished
firm JW— Oh, thank you.
273
00:21:54,147 --> 00:21:58,776
Our distinguished firm, JW Wells,
has performed a plethora
274
00:21:58,860 --> 00:22:01,571
of invaluable services
for our clients.
275
00:22:01,654 --> 00:22:04,198
Including love repentance—
—I didn't quite hear all that.
276
00:22:04,282 --> 00:22:07,368
Personal determining.
Temporal causation on advancement
277
00:22:07,452 --> 00:22:10,997
and of course our signature dish,
which is coincidensation.
278
00:22:11,914 --> 00:22:14,584
Now, we have never had
an unhappy client.
279
00:22:18,671 --> 00:22:21,674
And we trust it
will remain that way.
280
00:22:21,758 --> 00:22:25,136
If you decide to stay,
you arrive at 0900
281
00:22:25,219 --> 00:22:28,639
lunch is at 1300, tea 1500
282
00:22:28,723 --> 00:22:30,850
and pens down at 5 o'clock.
283
00:22:30,933 --> 00:22:33,853
And I don't care how
much of a suckhole you are.
284
00:22:33,936 --> 00:22:38,608
You never, ever stay after hours.
Is that clear?
285
00:22:38,691 --> 00:22:39,859
Yes.
286
00:22:39,942 --> 00:22:41,819
Mr Tanner.
—Thank you.
287
00:22:47,450 --> 00:22:50,203
You look like the sort of chap
who owns a computer.
288
00:22:50,286 --> 00:22:52,246
Do not bring it to work.
289
00:22:52,330 --> 00:22:53,456
Funny you ask!
290
00:22:54,082 --> 00:22:56,751
They do not function within these
four walls,
291
00:22:56,834 --> 00:22:58,836
and what is more, they're common.
292
00:23:00,505 --> 00:23:01,923
Any questions?
293
00:23:02,006 --> 00:23:04,342
I just didn't quite hear—
—No questions. Good.
294
00:23:05,551 --> 00:23:08,262
You may be excited
about working here.
295
00:23:09,222 --> 00:23:11,641
That would be a mistake.
296
00:23:11,724 --> 00:23:15,019
You are the lowest of the low,
Mr Carpenter.
297
00:23:17,605 --> 00:23:19,440
Can't think of anything lower.
298
00:23:19,524 --> 00:23:23,194
Even the tiniest mites that inhabit
this grotty carpet
299
00:23:23,277 --> 00:23:26,406
upon which we walk
are more important than you.
300
00:23:26,489 --> 00:23:29,492
And, like the mites,
the less you are seen,
301
00:23:29,575 --> 00:23:31,828
the longer you will last.
—Right.
302
00:23:31,911 --> 00:23:34,330
Right Mr Tanner!
—Mr Tanner.
303
00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:37,500
Now…
304
00:23:37,583 --> 00:23:40,670
… you'll be sharing with the other
new blob of insignificance
305
00:23:40,753 --> 00:23:43,256
that arrived today.
—Oh, what other blob?
306
00:23:44,799 --> 00:23:46,008
This one.
307
00:23:47,593 --> 00:23:51,222
This is Sophie Pettingel.
She managed to get here on time.
308
00:23:51,305 --> 00:23:53,724
Well, wait here. Maybe someone will
find you something to do.
309
00:23:53,808 --> 00:23:55,268
Oh!
310
00:23:55,351 --> 00:23:58,771
Maybe you should tell
Sophie about your last girlfriend.
311
00:23:58,855 --> 00:24:01,315
Oh that's right,
you've never had one.
312
00:24:07,155 --> 00:24:08,990
That's not true by the way.
313
00:24:09,073 --> 00:24:10,533
I have had—
314
00:24:10,992 --> 00:24:13,661
I mean we never actually called each
other boyfriend and girlfriend—
315
00:24:13,744 --> 00:24:15,246
The smell of coffee makes me sick.
316
00:24:15,329 --> 00:24:16,706
What? Oh!
317
00:24:16,789 --> 00:24:18,040
Sorry.
318
00:24:24,547 --> 00:24:27,300
Ah, that's hot. Very.
319
00:24:32,555 --> 00:24:33,848
Ahh.
320
00:24:58,206 --> 00:25:00,124
Oh, looks like we were
up for the same job.
321
00:25:00,208 --> 00:25:01,250
Mm.
322
00:25:02,293 --> 00:25:04,629
Yeah, and I'm pretty sure
they made a mistake, actually.
323
00:25:04,712 --> 00:25:06,589
All depends on what
they were looking for.
324
00:25:06,672 --> 00:25:09,342
Well if it was inarticulate nervous
gits with very little talent
325
00:25:09,425 --> 00:25:11,052
or initiative
then they've struck gold.
326
00:25:12,762 --> 00:25:14,931
With me, I mean. Not you.
327
00:25:15,014 --> 00:25:18,518
You're obviously talented,
and not a git.
328
00:25:24,732 --> 00:25:26,859
Do you have any idea
what they do here?
329
00:25:27,818 --> 00:25:31,489
With all those typists
and that big map with the…
330
00:25:32,573 --> 00:25:34,992
There's a nice pub
across the street, which is good.
331
00:25:35,076 --> 00:25:37,245
It's important isn't it,
to have after work drinks.
332
00:25:37,328 --> 00:25:40,248
Or hitting target drinks.
Or sales drinks.
333
00:25:40,331 --> 00:25:43,709
Or like… drink drinks.
334
00:25:43,793 --> 00:25:46,170
My dad used to go to the pub
after work every day.
335
00:25:46,254 --> 00:25:47,505
So did my mum, actually.
336
00:25:47,588 --> 00:25:49,465
Debeef drinks. Debrief dinks.
337
00:25:49,549 --> 00:25:51,926
Drinks! Debrief drinks.
338
00:25:52,843 --> 00:25:54,971
Did you work
anywhere before this job?
339
00:25:56,097 --> 00:25:57,682
What kind of question is that?
340
00:25:57,765 --> 00:26:02,228
Oh, I was just wondering if
all office jobs are like this?
341
00:26:02,311 --> 00:26:05,022
You know, you sort of sit
and wait to be told.
342
00:26:05,106 --> 00:26:08,276
Or maybe you could fill me
in on some work practices.
343
00:26:09,860 --> 00:26:11,529
You know, like when to—
344
00:26:11,612 --> 00:26:12,947
Go to the pub?
345
00:26:13,030 --> 00:26:16,534
What? No. Unless you want to.
346
00:26:16,617 --> 00:26:19,120
But not in an inappropriate
way of course.
347
00:26:19,203 --> 00:26:20,871
But if there's a way to do it.
348
00:26:20,955 --> 00:26:24,166
Because I mean I can't,
and don't want to, by the way, ask
349
00:26:24,250 --> 00:26:28,379
and neither do you want to be asked,
or ask me, which is good.
350
00:26:28,462 --> 00:26:30,298
We've got apps for that.
351
00:26:30,381 --> 00:26:32,425
And I'm certainly not
going to look for you on my app.
352
00:26:32,508 --> 00:26:34,927
I think you should stop now.
—Yeah, I think you're right.
353
00:26:35,011 --> 00:26:36,804
What?
354
00:26:36,887 --> 00:26:39,015
Shh. There.
355
00:27:00,953 --> 00:27:02,830
Did she try and kiss you?
—No.
356
00:27:02,913 --> 00:27:05,458
No.
—Oh, shame.
357
00:27:06,375 --> 00:27:08,044
Did you see a baby dragon?
358
00:27:10,755 --> 00:27:12,173
Job for you.
359
00:27:15,801 --> 00:27:21,265
You are to go through these maps and
circle any sites containing bauxite.
360
00:27:21,349 --> 00:27:23,267
Got it?
—And what about me?
361
00:27:24,185 --> 00:27:25,436
You help him.
362
00:27:26,479 --> 00:27:27,647
Oh!
363
00:27:28,439 --> 00:27:29,815
Look at you.
364
00:27:29,899 --> 00:27:31,901
You're all red in the face.
365
00:27:31,984 --> 00:27:34,278
First days are always hard.
366
00:27:34,362 --> 00:27:35,738
But I'm here.
367
00:27:35,821 --> 00:27:38,074
If you need a true friend.
368
00:27:43,996 --> 00:27:46,165
Anyway… good luck.
369
00:27:53,839 --> 00:27:56,092
So bauxite is…
370
00:27:56,175 --> 00:27:59,303
It's a mineral.
They make aluminium out of it.
371
00:27:59,387 --> 00:28:00,513
Listen, Peter…
Paul.
372
00:28:00,596 --> 00:28:01,639
… don't take this the wrong way,
373
00:28:01,722 --> 00:28:03,808
but I'm not really interested in
beers after work or
374
00:28:03,891 --> 00:28:05,643
'Hi everyone, this is my new
mate Peter, from work.'
375
00:28:05,726 --> 00:28:06,811
Paul.
376
00:28:06,894 --> 00:28:09,397
I'm part of a fast track programme
to upper level management
377
00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:11,691
so we won't be sharing
this pokey little hole for long,
378
00:28:11,774 --> 00:28:14,735
but while we are, do you mind
if we just…
379
00:28:16,821 --> 00:28:18,114
Yep. Sure.
380
00:28:18,239 --> 00:28:23,119
I was just checking about
the bauxite.
381
00:29:14,462 --> 00:29:16,297
Well that was rewarding.
382
00:29:17,882 --> 00:29:19,759
Didn't spot any bauxite did you?
383
00:29:23,471 --> 00:29:24,638
Coming?
384
00:29:27,308 --> 00:29:30,519
What we thinking for lunch?
—I could murder a pie.
385
00:29:30,603 --> 00:29:34,356
I'm a bit of a pie murderer myself.
—Actually I might just grab a coffee.
386
00:29:34,774 --> 00:29:36,817
Thought you didn't like coffee.
387
00:29:37,485 --> 00:29:40,070
Why did I say that? I hate coffee.
388
00:29:40,154 --> 00:29:41,739
Sophie Pettingel.
389
00:29:41,822 --> 00:29:43,199
I have a quick job for you.
390
00:29:43,282 --> 00:29:46,202
You can come too if you like,
but don't do anything.
391
00:29:51,665 --> 00:29:55,336
I don't suppose you could fill us in
on what this company actually does?
392
00:29:57,671 --> 00:30:00,466
This should be very simple. Ah!
393
00:30:00,549 --> 00:30:03,677
That woman is Delia Bryson.
She happens to be sitting—
394
00:30:07,306 --> 00:30:08,808
Spelling is awful.
395
00:30:10,142 --> 00:30:13,437
Right, well this seems to be
a little more complicated.
396
00:30:15,481 --> 00:30:18,192
Delia is reading
Atonement by Ian McEwan.
397
00:30:18,275 --> 00:30:20,236
Sophie, I'll need you to watch her.
398
00:30:20,319 --> 00:30:22,738
Signal me when she gets to the part
where Cecilia jumps into
399
00:30:22,822 --> 00:30:24,323
the fountain.
—The what?
400
00:30:24,406 --> 00:30:27,076
I'll be on the other side.
—Wait.
401
00:30:27,159 --> 00:30:28,953
You want me to read over
her shoulder?
402
00:30:29,036 --> 00:30:31,413
Of course not! That would be rude.
403
00:30:31,622 --> 00:30:33,582
Just watch her from in there.
404
00:30:44,426 --> 00:30:46,887
How are we supposed to know
what she's reading?
405
00:30:49,265 --> 00:30:50,850
This is ridiculous.
406
00:31:16,292 --> 00:31:17,960
Oh!
407
00:31:20,504 --> 00:31:21,755
Oh my goodness!
408
00:31:23,424 --> 00:31:24,925
Here…
—Oh.
409
00:31:30,639 --> 00:31:32,349
Very well done, Sophie.
410
00:31:33,893 --> 00:31:36,020
His parents paid a fortune for that.
411
00:31:36,103 --> 00:31:37,771
Those two will think it
was meant to be,
412
00:31:37,855 --> 00:31:40,107
and hopefully tell
the story to their grandchildren.
413
00:31:40,190 --> 00:31:42,234
But— So Sophie read her mind?
414
00:31:42,318 --> 00:31:45,529
Sophie is a seer. A very rare breed.
415
00:31:45,613 --> 00:31:48,198
That's why she's in our fast track
programme, and you, Paul…
416
00:31:48,282 --> 00:31:49,658
are not.
417
00:31:51,785 --> 00:31:54,496
I suppose you'd call us
practical metaphysicians,
418
00:31:54,580 --> 00:31:56,415
or paranatural engineers.
419
00:31:57,082 --> 00:32:00,002
In my department we hijack
a client's instincts,
420
00:32:00,085 --> 00:32:04,048
or gut feeling just long enough
to influence a correct decision.
421
00:32:04,131 --> 00:32:08,510
Sophie, I have more clients for you.
Paul…
422
00:32:08,594 --> 00:32:11,847
You can go back to
whatever it was you were doing.
423
00:32:11,931 --> 00:32:13,140
Maps.
424
00:32:13,223 --> 00:32:14,266
Fast track.
425
00:33:02,815 --> 00:33:04,483
Bauxite.
426
00:33:04,566 --> 00:33:05,901
Brilliant.
427
00:33:41,353 --> 00:33:42,604
Carpenter!
428
00:33:43,814 --> 00:33:46,692
Focus your eyes on a point
in the distance.
429
00:33:46,775 --> 00:33:48,861
Like you're looking at the horizon.
430
00:33:50,029 --> 00:33:51,071
Yeah.
431
00:33:52,072 --> 00:33:56,910
Now… lift your hand
just off the map,
432
00:33:56,994 --> 00:34:01,081
so that you can still feel it,
but you're not actually touching it.
433
00:34:11,467 --> 00:34:12,509
Yeah.
434
00:34:17,347 --> 00:34:18,807
Yeah, it's building.
435
00:34:22,519 --> 00:34:24,063
That's a quiver point.
436
00:34:27,608 --> 00:34:28,817
Come with me.
437
00:34:31,653 --> 00:34:33,864
Countess took you on a mission?
438
00:34:33,947 --> 00:34:36,450
Yes, well I didn't really do
anything, but…
439
00:34:36,950 --> 00:34:39,495
… is that what you do here?
Make people fall in love?
440
00:34:39,578 --> 00:34:43,040
Yeah fall in love, divorce,
discover gravity, move cities,
441
00:34:43,123 --> 00:34:45,584
invent combustion engines,
try a new cafe.
442
00:34:45,667 --> 00:34:46,960
Careful with those!
443
00:34:47,336 --> 00:34:51,840
We control their gut instincts,
if only for a few seconds.
444
00:34:51,924 --> 00:34:54,134
But why?
—Yes, exactly!
445
00:34:54,218 --> 00:34:58,555
No credit, not nearly enough money,
never any gratitude.
446
00:34:58,639 --> 00:35:02,101
Why waste our precious time
helping ungrateful sods
447
00:35:02,184 --> 00:35:04,061
who are just going to die anyway?
448
00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:30,462
We're on the brink, Paul.
449
00:35:30,546 --> 00:35:31,922
On the edge of history.
450
00:35:33,006 --> 00:35:36,426
We were just about to launch
Operation Fine Print
451
00:35:36,510 --> 00:35:40,097
the most audacious influence
campaign ever undertaken,
452
00:35:40,180 --> 00:35:43,559
when we hit a bit of a snag.
453
00:35:43,642 --> 00:35:48,272
And now, only you, Paul,
can put us back on track.
454
00:35:49,398 --> 00:35:52,192
Me?
—Yeah. I know.
455
00:35:52,276 --> 00:35:54,611
But you have a unique talent.
456
00:35:54,695 --> 00:35:56,864
And you're more than just a diviner.
457
00:35:57,948 --> 00:36:00,200
I'm a diviner?
458
00:36:00,284 --> 00:36:02,578
Your parents must be
so proud of you.
459
00:36:03,495 --> 00:36:06,582
His parents, they're barely
even aware he's alive.
460
00:36:08,625 --> 00:36:11,503
When he was six,
his father lost him at a fun fair.
461
00:36:11,587 --> 00:36:14,381
Took him 22 minutes to realise.
462
00:36:14,464 --> 00:36:16,175
Their house was hardly ever clean
463
00:36:16,258 --> 00:36:19,344
because his mother spent most of her
time having three affairs.
464
00:36:19,428 --> 00:36:21,346
Dad had no idea.
465
00:36:21,430 --> 00:36:22,598
Who was the third affair?
466
00:36:22,681 --> 00:36:24,558
Well we don't
get to choose our parents.
467
00:36:24,641 --> 00:36:27,102
Dennis's father
looked like a squashed toad.
468
00:36:27,728 --> 00:36:30,022
My father was
a controlling egomaniac.
469
00:36:31,064 --> 00:36:33,692
You know he presented as
a warm and gentle leader,
470
00:36:33,775 --> 00:36:35,736
but behind the scenes he was evil.
471
00:36:36,778 --> 00:36:41,700
When I was 12, he sat me down,
put a pen in my hand,
472
00:36:41,783 --> 00:36:43,952
and made me write a contract.
473
00:36:44,036 --> 00:36:48,540
"I, Humphrey Wells promise very hard
474
00:36:48,624 --> 00:36:51,543
never to betray my father.
475
00:36:51,627 --> 00:36:54,796
And if I do, my soul will be his."
476
00:36:56,048 --> 00:36:58,926
He kept that contract.
Never let it out of sight.
477
00:36:59,009 --> 00:37:01,678
It imprisoned me. Kept me silent.
478
00:37:01,762 --> 00:37:05,098
Forced me to be the obedient,
dutiful son.
479
00:37:05,182 --> 00:37:08,018
It was his insurance policy
against me.
480
00:37:08,936 --> 00:37:12,397
What kind of father needs
an insurance against his own son!
481
00:37:18,362 --> 00:37:20,405
We're very similar you and I.
482
00:37:21,406 --> 00:37:22,658
You think?
483
00:37:24,159 --> 00:37:27,037
Undervalued. Underestimated.
484
00:37:28,163 --> 00:37:30,540
I suppose, maybe, in that way.
485
00:37:34,670 --> 00:37:38,048
Can I trust you, Paul Carpenter
486
00:37:38,131 --> 00:37:40,592
of 57 Wrigglesworth Street, Nunhead?
487
00:37:41,260 --> 00:37:42,135
Um…
488
00:37:42,219 --> 00:37:46,473
I mean, I'm number 59, but yes.
I think you can trust me. Yes.
489
00:37:50,227 --> 00:37:51,728
I've lost something.
490
00:37:53,313 --> 00:37:57,526
Something not only dear to me,
but immeasurably valuable.
491
00:37:58,735 --> 00:38:02,406
Oh. That's no good.
Where did you last see it?
492
00:38:02,489 --> 00:38:04,074
Well, that's irrelevant.
493
00:38:04,157 --> 00:38:05,951
It's not a watch or a wallet.
494
00:38:06,034 --> 00:38:09,496
It's one of the most powerful
and coveted items ever to exist.
495
00:38:09,579 --> 00:38:11,581
Oh. Right. Gosh.
496
00:38:12,499 --> 00:38:15,752
The trouble is, it has the ability
to disguise itself.
497
00:38:15,836 --> 00:38:17,296
Like an octopus?
498
00:38:18,046 --> 00:38:20,132
It is not like an octopus.
499
00:38:24,886 --> 00:38:27,389
Do you think
we have the right man here?
500
00:38:27,472 --> 00:38:28,890
Nah.
501
00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:32,644
I need you to find it, Paul.
502
00:38:32,728 --> 00:38:35,022
It's somewhere in this building,
I know that.
503
00:38:35,105 --> 00:38:36,940
But it will refuse to be found,
504
00:38:37,024 --> 00:38:39,943
so you will have to pretend that
you're not looking for it.
505
00:38:40,777 --> 00:38:45,240
Pretend I'm not looking for it—
—I put all my trust in you.
506
00:38:46,992 --> 00:38:48,076
Because the thing…
507
00:38:49,703 --> 00:38:52,497
The thing that I want you to find…
508
00:38:52,581 --> 00:38:54,499
That thing—
—It's a door.
509
00:38:55,792 --> 00:38:57,461
Yes, thank you, Dennis.
510
00:38:59,463 --> 00:39:01,506
It's a door.
A Portable Door, to be specific.
511
00:39:01,590 --> 00:39:04,593
Portable?
—You're not to share this with anyone.
512
00:39:04,676 --> 00:39:06,428
Even your blossoming romance.
513
00:39:06,511 --> 00:39:08,388
Oh no, we're definitely not—
—But you must find it.
514
00:39:08,472 --> 00:39:10,599
It's crucial for
Operation Fine Print,
515
00:39:10,682 --> 00:39:12,893
and the new dawn of the company.
516
00:39:12,976 --> 00:39:15,520
Would you say everything
hinges on his success?
517
00:39:15,604 --> 00:39:18,106
Yes I would say
everything hinges on…
518
00:39:18,607 --> 00:39:20,233
his success.
519
00:39:24,571 --> 00:39:26,656
Find my door.
520
00:39:26,740 --> 00:39:28,283
OK.
—Good man.
521
00:39:29,201 --> 00:39:30,410
How?
522
00:39:31,995 --> 00:39:33,747
You have the gift.
523
00:39:33,830 --> 00:39:36,291
Fate has brought us together.
524
00:39:36,375 --> 00:39:38,460
This is your time to shine.
525
00:39:41,797 --> 00:39:43,465
So, go shine!
526
00:39:46,676 --> 00:39:47,719
And Paul?
527
00:39:49,096 --> 00:39:51,848
Shh.
528
00:40:03,026 --> 00:40:04,403
Just find the door.
529
00:40:05,320 --> 00:40:06,488
Easy.
530
00:40:09,032 --> 00:40:10,283
Here, door.
531
00:40:11,243 --> 00:40:12,536
Come on, door.
532
00:40:23,713 --> 00:40:25,841
Are you looking for something?
—No.
533
00:40:27,092 --> 00:40:30,178
You look like you're looking
for something.
534
00:40:30,804 --> 00:40:32,389
Don't think so. No.
535
00:40:32,472 --> 00:40:35,267
Not very sure of yourself are you?
536
00:40:35,809 --> 00:40:37,352
Do you remember who I am?
537
00:40:39,146 --> 00:40:40,939
Blank.
538
00:40:41,022 --> 00:40:45,527
I'm Nienke Van Spee, ASTP, KMCC.
539
00:40:45,610 --> 00:40:46,486
Paul.
540
00:40:46,570 --> 00:40:49,114
ASTP stands for
Associate of the Society
541
00:40:49,197 --> 00:40:51,074
of Thaumaturgical Practitioners.
542
00:40:51,158 --> 00:40:53,535
Right.
—Say that with a lisp.
543
00:40:56,246 --> 00:41:00,041
And KMCC stands for Keeper
of the Magician's Code of Conduct.
544
00:41:00,125 --> 00:41:03,503
Which means you come to me if you
hear of any illegal use of magic.
545
00:41:03,587 --> 00:41:05,046
Have you? Heard of any?
546
00:41:07,841 --> 00:41:10,051
How are you enjoying the new job?
547
00:41:10,135 --> 00:41:12,012
Oh, Sophie's a delight.
548
00:41:12,095 --> 00:41:13,680
If you were to buy her a present,
549
00:41:13,763 --> 00:41:17,350
I would suggest a small woollen
scarf or a good quality torch
550
00:41:17,434 --> 00:41:21,688
and under no circumstances should
you kiss her after eating liquorice.
551
00:41:21,771 --> 00:41:23,899
Ah, we're not—
—She hates the stuff.
552
00:41:26,485 --> 00:41:28,445
How are you finding Mr Wells?
553
00:41:29,488 --> 00:41:31,823
He's a wonderful boss.
554
00:41:31,907 --> 00:41:33,783
Honest.
Eyes down here, pumpkin.
555
00:41:35,410 --> 00:41:38,872
What you see is what you get
with Mr Wells.
556
00:41:38,955 --> 00:41:42,125
No there's— There's not a thing
I worry about
557
00:41:42,209 --> 00:41:44,044
with Humphrey at the helm.
558
00:41:45,253 --> 00:41:47,255
What are you looking at,
potato face?
559
00:41:47,339 --> 00:41:49,424
Sorry.
—Are you working with him closely?
560
00:41:50,258 --> 00:41:51,927
Not really. No.
561
00:41:53,762 --> 00:41:55,889
Well I hope you get that chance.
562
00:41:56,890 --> 00:42:01,394
He seems to really like you,
which is bewildering to us all.
563
00:42:04,105 --> 00:42:06,233
Bit of a turnip aren't you?
564
00:42:06,316 --> 00:42:09,110
You certainly didn't get my vote.
Anyhoo must toot.
565
00:42:09,194 --> 00:42:11,363
Maybe you'll prove me wrong.
566
00:42:11,655 --> 00:42:14,366
It's five o'clock.
567
00:42:14,449 --> 00:42:15,951
Go home, Paul.
568
00:43:21,182 --> 00:43:23,226
Don't panic. It's just a dream.
What? Who are you?
569
00:43:23,310 --> 00:43:25,729
I'm Casimir Suslowicz—
—What are you doing in my bedroom?
570
00:43:25,812 --> 00:43:28,273
It's not your bedroom,
this is a dream of your bedroom…
571
00:43:28,356 --> 00:43:29,858
Why?
—… that I am in.
572
00:43:29,941 --> 00:43:31,067
How?
—It's what I do.
573
00:43:31,151 --> 00:43:34,321
I find it's the best way
to get to the truth.
574
00:43:34,404 --> 00:43:35,405
Truth?
575
00:43:35,488 --> 00:43:39,868
Because we've all been wondering
why Mr Wells hired you.
576
00:43:41,578 --> 00:43:43,538
I can find bauxite on a map.
577
00:43:47,834 --> 00:43:50,295
Are you—
—Waiting for the truth, yes.
578
00:43:50,378 --> 00:43:54,215
This company got
out of bauxite 107 years ago.
579
00:43:54,966 --> 00:43:58,136
Why did he hire you?
580
00:43:58,219 --> 00:43:59,596
Don't know what to tell you.
581
00:43:59,679 --> 00:44:03,183
Honestly, I think he just saw some
real potential in me and he—
582
00:44:07,354 --> 00:44:09,189
—What's wrong, Paul?
583
00:44:09,272 --> 00:44:11,107
Foot hurting?
584
00:44:11,191 --> 00:44:13,735
Why were you hired, Paul?
585
00:44:18,281 --> 00:44:19,991
Not sure you can hear me.
586
00:44:20,075 --> 00:44:22,452
Can you hear me now?
587
00:44:22,535 --> 00:44:25,163
Why did he hire you?
588
00:44:26,831 --> 00:44:28,792
I can't say!
—I can do worse, Paul.
589
00:44:28,875 --> 00:44:31,378
I can do a lot worse
now that I'm in here.
590
00:44:31,461 --> 00:44:34,464
But it's just a dream, right?
—Oh yes, it's just a dream.
591
00:44:34,547 --> 00:44:37,050
But things have real world
consequences, Paul.
592
00:44:37,133 --> 00:44:41,680
I could make you strip off.
Go for a little sleepwalk outside.
593
00:44:41,763 --> 00:44:42,639
You wouldn't.
594
00:44:42,722 --> 00:44:44,724
I could make a little
bit of wee come out.
595
00:44:44,808 --> 00:44:47,560
Quite a bit, actually.
—OK, alright!
596
00:44:47,644 --> 00:44:50,480
He wants me
to find the Portable Door.
597
00:44:53,191 --> 00:44:57,654
So… Humphrey has lost
his Portable Door.
598
00:44:58,780 --> 00:45:00,740
I don't know what it does.
599
00:45:00,824 --> 00:45:03,159
Why does he want it so badly?
600
00:45:04,411 --> 00:45:08,832
You know the saying, 'There is only
one way to the Bank of the Dead?'
601
00:45:08,915 --> 00:45:11,376
No actually. What's the one way
to the Bank of the Dead—
602
00:45:11,459 --> 00:45:12,585
Dying!
603
00:45:13,670 --> 00:45:16,464
Well turns out,
that's not entirely true.
604
00:45:17,465 --> 00:45:20,260
There is another way.
605
00:45:22,262 --> 00:45:24,889
Bank of the what?
606
00:45:24,973 --> 00:45:26,558
You're still dreaming.
607
00:45:45,785 --> 00:45:48,830
I could just eat you up.
608
00:45:58,173 --> 00:46:00,884
I love office supplies.
609
00:46:06,306 --> 00:46:08,349
I always wanted to be a coincidator.
610
00:46:09,768 --> 00:46:13,021
Is that what I am?
—Is that what I am?
611
00:46:14,522 --> 00:46:17,066
She's here.
612
00:46:17,150 --> 00:46:20,820
Right, just pretend you're
not looking for it.
613
00:48:07,176 --> 00:48:08,636
"Goblins only."
614
00:48:32,785 --> 00:48:35,705
Did I give you
permission to be down here?
615
00:48:39,208 --> 00:48:40,084
Let me think.
616
00:48:40,168 --> 00:48:42,879
Did I give you
permission to be down here?
617
00:48:42,962 --> 00:48:45,798
No, I did not!
—Sorry, Mr Tanner.
618
00:48:46,424 --> 00:48:49,594
I thought it might be a good
place to look for the… you know.
619
00:48:50,595 --> 00:48:53,181
The what?
—Portable Door.
620
00:48:53,264 --> 00:48:55,433
The Portable Door.
621
00:48:55,516 --> 00:48:58,686
Rather a big project for an intern.
622
00:48:58,770 --> 00:49:01,105
How's it going, by the way?
—Um…
623
00:49:01,940 --> 00:49:03,983
I think I'll be OK.
624
00:49:04,067 --> 00:49:07,862
If I were you, Carpenter,
I would just give up now.
625
00:49:07,946 --> 00:49:11,950
Because when you fail,
and undoubtedly you will,
626
00:49:12,033 --> 00:49:16,704
there are no words to describe
what Mr Wells will do to you.
627
00:49:16,788 --> 00:49:18,456
Oh, here's one.
628
00:49:18,915 --> 00:49:19,999
Gut.
629
00:49:20,083 --> 00:49:22,669
Another, impale.
630
00:49:22,752 --> 00:49:24,712
Marinate. Oh, they're coming now.
631
00:49:24,796 --> 00:49:27,215
Yes. Fry, poach, peel—
632
00:49:27,298 --> 00:49:28,591
OK, thanks.
—Roast.
633
00:49:28,675 --> 00:49:31,177
I think I get the—
—Disembowel!
634
00:49:45,525 --> 00:49:47,110
Shit.
635
00:49:52,031 --> 00:49:56,285
I know this is probably a stupid
question, but who's down there?
636
00:49:56,369 --> 00:49:57,537
Goblins.
637
00:49:57,620 --> 00:49:59,789
We've worked with them
for centuries.
638
00:49:59,872 --> 00:50:01,874
They follow humans.
They watch you at night.
639
00:50:01,958 --> 00:50:04,210
Steal from you. Sabotage your day.
640
00:50:04,293 --> 00:50:05,837
They're basically obsessed,
641
00:50:05,920 --> 00:50:09,132
and we use that obsession
to arrange coincidences.
642
00:50:12,385 --> 00:50:15,888
Ask the dry cleaner if you can stick
this poster on their wall.
643
00:50:15,972 --> 00:50:18,683
Her long—lost cousin will
come by in a few days.
644
00:50:22,437 --> 00:50:24,272
Excuse me. Hi.
645
00:50:24,355 --> 00:50:26,524
Would I be able to put
this poster up?
646
00:50:26,607 --> 00:50:28,192
My friend has lost her dog.
647
00:50:29,110 --> 00:50:31,863
Thank you so much.
It's really appreciated.
648
00:50:31,946 --> 00:50:34,157
Alright, you have a lovely day, yeah?
—You too.
649
00:50:34,240 --> 00:50:35,116
Bye!
650
00:51:00,475 --> 00:51:03,770
I'm sure you've noticed
this company is at war with itself.
651
00:51:04,896 --> 00:51:10,359
Ever since John Wells mysteriously,
suspiciously disappeared
652
00:51:10,443 --> 00:51:12,111
things have changed.
653
00:51:13,029 --> 00:51:16,407
It was the same day Dennis's father,
Arthur, disappeared.
654
00:51:17,450 --> 00:51:20,286
Those two sons are up to something
655
00:51:20,369 --> 00:51:22,163
and it's not just renovations.
656
00:51:24,499 --> 00:51:27,668
We're not sure what, or when.
657
00:51:27,752 --> 00:51:31,214
We're not even sure why
he hired your scruffy friend
658
00:51:31,297 --> 00:51:33,633
but it's connected somehow.
659
00:51:35,301 --> 00:51:37,637
I don't think
he knows why he's been hired.
660
00:51:37,720 --> 00:51:38,888
I mean…
661
00:51:39,430 --> 00:51:41,224
… he's quite nice, but…
662
00:51:42,308 --> 00:51:44,644
I can't really tell when he…
663
00:51:47,105 --> 00:51:49,315
You're a jumble of a human,
aren't you?
664
00:51:51,359 --> 00:51:53,986
You're very good at reading people.
665
00:51:54,070 --> 00:51:55,655
You could be a great seer.
666
00:51:56,906 --> 00:51:59,700
But you don't seem to make sense,
inside.
667
00:52:01,869 --> 00:52:05,832
It's like you have two instincts
fighting each other.
668
00:52:05,915 --> 00:52:07,834
Is there something I should know?
669
00:52:09,669 --> 00:52:11,003
I am…
670
00:52:11,087 --> 00:52:12,588
I don't think…
671
00:52:14,632 --> 00:52:16,342
I guess I'm just…
672
00:52:17,510 --> 00:52:21,055
… as you say… a jumble.
673
00:52:26,978 --> 00:52:28,563
I don't know what's
happening to me.
674
00:52:28,646 --> 00:52:29,939
I'm listening to jazz.
675
00:52:30,022 --> 00:52:33,359
I'm drinking coffee, which I hate.
And I'm suddenly loving balloons.
676
00:52:33,442 --> 00:52:35,278
I just don't know who I am anymore.
677
00:52:35,361 --> 00:52:37,613
Well, that's fascinating.
Am I supposed to care?
678
00:52:37,697 --> 00:52:38,948
No, I want to change my mind.
679
00:52:39,031 --> 00:52:41,659
Well too bad,
because you signed a contract!
680
00:52:43,244 --> 00:52:45,496
Everything OK?
—What?
681
00:52:47,290 --> 00:52:48,875
It's 4:53.
682
00:52:48,958 --> 00:52:50,877
Seven minutes to leave the building!
683
00:52:53,296 --> 00:52:54,630
I'm fine.
684
00:52:57,300 --> 00:52:59,177
Coming?
—Yeah.
685
00:53:02,513 --> 00:53:05,057
Sounded like a heated chat.
With Tanner.
686
00:53:05,141 --> 00:53:08,352
No, it was just a disagreement
about my employment contract.
687
00:53:08,436 --> 00:53:11,355
You're not leaving, are you?
—Starting to think I should.
688
00:53:11,439 --> 00:53:13,566
That'd be awful. And sad.
689
00:53:13,649 --> 00:53:16,194
Why?
Because who'd protect you from…
690
00:53:17,236 --> 00:53:18,779
Exactly.
691
00:53:18,863 --> 00:53:21,240
Just be glad you're not a stapler.
692
00:53:26,120 --> 00:53:29,207
I suddenly, really
693
00:53:29,290 --> 00:53:31,876
in… my… heart…
694
00:53:33,461 --> 00:53:35,296
… need…
695
00:53:37,840 --> 00:53:39,425
… liquorice.
696
00:53:39,508 --> 00:53:41,219
You hate liquorice, don't you?
697
00:53:41,302 --> 00:53:43,679
Yes I did. But now I love it.
698
00:53:47,516 --> 00:53:51,229
Mmm. It's so, um, licoricey.
699
00:54:06,661 --> 00:54:08,871
Do you wanna get a drink?
—Yes, please!
700
00:54:17,672 --> 00:54:20,675
I don't know why I ate that.
How can anyone eat that?
701
00:54:20,758 --> 00:54:22,385
Well, I actually don't mind
liquorice.
702
00:54:22,468 --> 00:54:25,012
Yes, but you dress
like a twelve—year—old accountant.
703
00:54:25,096 --> 00:54:26,055
Brilliant!
704
00:54:26,681 --> 00:54:27,932
Sorry.
705
00:54:30,559 --> 00:54:32,186
Listen.
706
00:54:32,270 --> 00:54:33,771
Is everything OK?
707
00:54:34,355 --> 00:54:35,273
Yep.
708
00:54:36,065 --> 00:54:37,191
Fine.
709
00:54:38,359 --> 00:54:40,278
Guess I just thought…
710
00:54:41,445 --> 00:54:44,949
You'd be CEO by now.
—Ha! Yes.
711
00:54:46,742 --> 00:54:49,787
I don't know,
I'm grateful for the fast track,
712
00:54:49,870 --> 00:54:53,666
and the Countess, but what if
the downside isn't worth it?
713
00:54:53,749 --> 00:54:55,668
Well, what's the downside?
714
00:54:56,377 --> 00:54:58,045
Being miserable all the time?
715
00:54:58,129 --> 00:55:01,090
I'm not miserable, I'm ambitious.
716
00:55:01,173 --> 00:55:02,383
You wouldn't get it, Paul.
717
00:55:02,466 --> 00:55:05,344
You know, you're happy looking at maps
all day and you don't need more.
718
00:55:05,428 --> 00:55:06,971
I just wish I was…
719
00:55:10,516 --> 00:55:12,977
Oh, my God.
720
00:55:14,603 --> 00:55:16,981
You are doing more.
—What?
721
00:55:17,064 --> 00:55:18,149
What you doing?
722
00:55:18,232 --> 00:55:20,776
What? Nothing. I can't say.
It's nothing.
723
00:55:23,112 --> 00:55:26,240
Mr Wells has me on a special task.
But I can't say.
724
00:55:27,908 --> 00:55:29,910
It seems pretty important to him,
though,
725
00:55:30,286 --> 00:55:31,620
because I'm the only one who—
726
00:55:31,704 --> 00:55:34,332
You're the only one who what?
—I can't say.
727
00:55:37,501 --> 00:55:38,586
OK.
728
00:55:38,669 --> 00:55:40,379
Well just so you know…
729
00:55:40,463 --> 00:55:42,381
Be careful.
—Of what?
730
00:55:42,465 --> 00:55:45,551
Of him. Humphrey. He's not normal.
731
00:55:45,634 --> 00:55:49,096
Oh, and Countess is
just your average office manager?
732
00:55:49,180 --> 00:55:52,016
He's not going to want
something for nothing, Paul.
733
00:55:52,683 --> 00:55:54,852
Seriously, what's with all
the hating on Humphrey Wells?
734
00:55:54,935 --> 00:55:57,271
I mean, he doesn't push innocent
people into fountains.
735
00:55:57,355 --> 00:55:58,856
Oh, you're so naive.
I mean, firstly,
736
00:55:58,939 --> 00:56:01,025
we know there's more to this
New Dawn than renovations.
737
00:56:01,108 --> 00:56:02,526
Sorry, who's 'we'?
—Plus, Countess thinks
738
00:56:02,610 --> 00:56:04,487
Humphrey disappeared his own father.
739
00:56:04,904 --> 00:56:06,113
Well where's John Wells?
740
00:56:06,197 --> 00:56:07,865
I don't know. Retired?
741
00:56:08,157 --> 00:56:09,075
Huh.
742
00:56:10,951 --> 00:56:12,036
Just…
743
00:56:13,621 --> 00:56:15,456
… consider yourself warned.
744
00:56:17,958 --> 00:56:19,293
Maybe you're jealous.
745
00:56:20,169 --> 00:56:23,381
Maybe you can't handle the fact
that the CEO loves me and not you.
746
00:56:23,464 --> 00:56:25,091
Have you always been this arrogant?
747
00:56:25,174 --> 00:56:27,593
Maybe I'm on a super—fast track.
—A super—fast track?
748
00:56:27,676 --> 00:56:29,929
And you're on a regular fast track.
—Oh Paul—
749
00:56:30,012 --> 00:56:32,264
The truth is hard to hear.
—Paul, believe me, you are not.
750
00:56:32,348 --> 00:56:33,307
You fell into this job.
751
00:56:33,391 --> 00:56:36,102
You weren't plucked from obscurity
and mentored by the CEO
752
00:56:36,185 --> 00:56:37,436
because they can't find any other
753
00:56:37,520 --> 00:56:39,438
middling—intelligent,
averagely—educated,
754
00:56:39,522 --> 00:56:42,024
slightly good—looking English boys
in the city of London.
755
00:56:42,233 --> 00:56:44,110
If the CEO is asking
you to find something
756
00:56:44,193 --> 00:56:46,570
it's because they don't know
what else to do with you.
757
00:57:02,670 --> 00:57:03,963
OK.
758
00:57:04,547 --> 00:57:06,632
Well, this was fun.
Let's do it again.
759
00:57:06,715 --> 00:57:07,591
Yep.
760
00:57:22,815 --> 00:57:26,819
Here he is.
761
00:57:26,902 --> 00:57:29,071
The date from hell.
762
00:57:29,155 --> 00:57:30,197
What?
763
00:57:30,281 --> 00:57:32,700
Let's go for a drink
and yell at each other.
764
00:57:32,783 --> 00:57:35,286
Whoa, hang on—
—Not cool, Romeo!
765
00:57:36,412 --> 00:57:37,496
Not cool.
766
00:57:41,000 --> 00:57:43,669
Paul! Casimir Suslowicz.
767
00:57:44,837 --> 00:57:46,714
We met at your interview.
768
00:57:49,925 --> 00:57:51,594
Well, hope you're adjusting.
769
00:57:52,803 --> 00:57:53,846
Must dash.
770
00:57:56,891 --> 00:57:58,058
Right.
771
00:57:58,142 --> 00:58:00,728
Today's the day, Paul.
—Today's what day?
772
00:58:04,523 --> 00:58:07,026
I know you.
—I look like a lot of people.
773
00:58:07,109 --> 00:58:08,235
Ah, Monty.
774
00:58:08,319 --> 00:58:10,446
We met before my interview.
—Who knows?
775
00:58:10,529 --> 00:58:12,323
Anyway, turn around and go back up.
776
00:58:12,406 --> 00:58:13,699
I was just gonna have
a look down—
777
00:58:13,782 --> 00:58:14,867
Well you can't.
778
00:58:14,950 --> 00:58:16,827
Why not?
—I don't have those details.
779
00:58:16,911 --> 00:58:19,330
All I've been told is,
don't let anyone in the basement.
780
00:58:19,413 --> 00:58:21,415
But there's just
an old closet down there.
781
00:58:21,499 --> 00:58:22,958
That's what I said. Closet.
782
00:58:23,042 --> 00:58:24,627
You said basement.
—No, no, I said closet.
783
00:58:24,710 --> 00:58:26,086
You definitely said basement.
784
00:58:29,548 --> 00:58:31,550
Please don't tell
Mr Tanner I said that.
785
00:58:31,634 --> 00:58:32,635
Why not?
786
00:58:32,718 --> 00:58:34,970
He's very creative
with his punishment.
787
00:58:35,054 --> 00:58:39,600
You didn't teach me History of Music
or coach football, did you?
788
00:58:40,684 --> 00:58:41,727
No.
789
00:58:42,645 --> 00:58:44,980
You were trying to make me
miss my interview.
790
00:58:45,064 --> 00:58:47,107
Yes. As instructed.
791
00:58:50,945 --> 00:58:53,531
I won't tell Mr Tanner
you said basement.
792
00:58:53,614 --> 00:58:55,741
Oh, that's very decent of you—
793
00:58:55,824 --> 00:58:57,117
If you let me go down there.
794
01:03:44,696 --> 01:03:45,989
Found you.
795
01:04:30,325 --> 01:04:32,578
Ladies and gentlemen, my friends
796
01:04:32,661 --> 01:04:35,205
if I may have your attention.
Thank you.
797
01:04:37,040 --> 01:04:39,251
What you're about to see…
798
01:04:40,335 --> 01:04:42,713
… and it's not
exaggerating to say this,
799
01:04:42,796 --> 01:04:46,842
is going to change
the world forever.
800
01:04:48,802 --> 01:04:50,846
You see, for centuries,
801
01:04:50,929 --> 01:04:55,142
we at JW Wells
have been in the business
802
01:04:55,225 --> 01:04:59,396
of changing small lives
in small ways.
803
01:05:00,564 --> 01:05:02,399
Absolutely lovely.
804
01:05:02,482 --> 01:05:07,070
Now this has always struck me
as an odd waste of our talents.
805
01:05:07,154 --> 01:05:11,491
So, when my father disappeared,
presumed dead,
806
01:05:11,575 --> 01:05:14,411
I decided this was our chance.
807
01:05:14,494 --> 01:05:17,915
Opportunity is right here in front
of us, begging to be used.
808
01:05:20,167 --> 01:05:23,962
We've always provided
a service for our customers
809
01:05:24,630 --> 01:05:27,424
but what if we make them serve us?
810
01:05:27,507 --> 01:05:31,136
What if we make them the product?
811
01:05:31,219 --> 01:05:33,805
Mr Tanner,
let's have the guinea pig.
812
01:05:34,806 --> 01:05:36,183
Gather round, please.
813
01:05:37,100 --> 01:05:39,019
I have something to show you.
814
01:05:41,480 --> 01:05:45,233
Sophie, just a few more
quick questions. Any phobias?
815
01:05:45,317 --> 01:05:47,069
Balloons, weirdly.
816
01:05:47,152 --> 01:05:50,030
Do you like coffee?
—Not at all. Sorry.
817
01:05:50,113 --> 01:05:52,824
Favourite music style?
—I like loads of music.
818
01:05:52,908 --> 01:05:53,992
Just not jazz.
819
01:05:54,076 --> 01:05:56,787
What do you think of
when I say the word 'liquorice'?
820
01:05:56,870 --> 01:05:59,581
I actually almost gag.
821
01:05:59,665 --> 01:06:02,417
This is my fast—track interview, right?
—Hold it right there.
822
01:06:04,211 --> 01:06:05,545
After that interview,
823
01:06:05,629 --> 01:06:09,132
we were able to influence
this young consumer.
824
01:06:10,050 --> 01:06:13,136
I don't know what's happening to me.
I'm listening to jazz
825
01:06:13,220 --> 01:06:16,598
drinking coffee, which I hate.
I'm suddenly loving balloons.
826
01:06:16,682 --> 01:06:18,934
I mean, I just don't know
who I am anymore.
827
01:06:23,438 --> 01:06:24,731
Thank you, Dennis.
828
01:06:26,608 --> 01:06:31,238
If we can do this to a
well—educated…
829
01:06:31,321 --> 01:06:35,200
… young, strong—willed individual
830
01:06:35,283 --> 01:06:37,911
imagine what we can do
to the masses?
831
01:06:40,163 --> 01:06:42,207
Your property prices would spike.
832
01:06:43,208 --> 01:06:48,296
Your consumer base will double,
triple, quadruple.
833
01:06:48,380 --> 01:06:52,300
Your Roger will
win his election in a landslide.
834
01:06:52,384 --> 01:06:53,510
How are you doing this?
835
01:06:53,593 --> 01:06:56,680
With a simple and binding contract
they don't even know they've signed.
836
01:06:56,763 --> 01:06:59,057
Door!
—Just like our Sophie did.
837
01:06:59,641 --> 01:07:03,729
I will sell you
the will of the people.
838
01:07:03,812 --> 01:07:07,524
Door!
—I will hand you their desires,
839
01:07:07,607 --> 01:07:10,736
their gut instincts
on a silver platter
840
01:07:10,819 --> 01:07:15,157
because here at JW Wells,
influence is—
841
01:07:15,824 --> 01:07:16,742
Oop.
842
01:07:19,661 --> 01:07:20,746
Thank you, Dennis.
843
01:07:23,165 --> 01:07:27,294
Influence is no coincidence.
844
01:07:33,842 --> 01:07:35,761
Knock knock. OK.
845
01:07:39,181 --> 01:07:40,724
Knock knock.
846
01:07:41,683 --> 01:07:45,020
Why don't we do it
over some refreshments? Mr Tanner?
847
01:07:45,437 --> 01:07:46,521
Dennis?
848
01:07:47,856 --> 01:07:49,483
Supermarket.
849
01:08:39,449 --> 01:08:41,576
Paul.
850
01:08:43,912 --> 01:08:47,666
Are you being chased?
—Ah, no. I'm fine.
851
01:08:47,749 --> 01:08:50,043
You're puffing and you look spooked.
852
01:08:50,127 --> 01:08:53,255
No, I'm just keen to get to work.
853
01:08:54,172 --> 01:08:56,174
So anyway, thanks for—
—Paul…
854
01:08:57,592 --> 01:09:00,095
… if you do find it,
855
01:09:00,178 --> 01:09:02,013
this is who you come to.
856
01:09:03,473 --> 01:09:04,766
Right.
857
01:09:11,690 --> 01:09:14,568
Paul. We need to clear the air.
858
01:09:15,277 --> 01:09:18,655
I'm sorry about what I said
last night,
859
01:09:18,738 --> 01:09:22,117
but I do think we are fundamentally
different people
860
01:09:22,200 --> 01:09:24,661
and some people are just not
meant to spend time together.
861
01:09:24,744 --> 01:09:25,954
Hey, what the hell!
862
01:09:28,790 --> 01:09:30,792
They're filming you. Us.
—What?
863
01:09:30,876 --> 01:09:33,628
You.
They're controlling you, Sophie.
864
01:09:33,712 --> 01:09:37,424
What are you talking about?
—He said something about a contract.
865
01:09:37,757 --> 01:09:38,884
I saw…
866
01:09:41,428 --> 01:09:43,305
I found it.
—Found what?
867
01:09:48,059 --> 01:09:49,311
This.
868
01:09:52,147 --> 01:09:53,607
You found a towel.
869
01:09:55,108 --> 01:09:56,568
Just watch this.
870
01:09:59,112 --> 01:10:00,947
Knock knock.
871
01:10:10,874 --> 01:10:12,334
That's a door.
872
01:10:12,918 --> 01:10:14,169
Yep.
873
01:10:15,337 --> 01:10:16,504
Ready?
874
01:10:21,927 --> 01:10:23,053
Supermarket.
875
01:10:26,765 --> 01:10:29,559
This is not…
—Something's gone wrong.
876
01:10:30,143 --> 01:10:31,937
Hello?
—Who's that?
877
01:10:32,020 --> 01:10:33,813
Wait there. I'm coming!
878
01:10:33,897 --> 01:10:35,023
Please don't close—
879
01:10:38,944 --> 01:10:40,070
Who was the voice?
880
01:10:40,153 --> 01:10:43,198
Announce your destination
before opening.
881
01:10:43,281 --> 01:10:44,824
OK, my bad.
882
01:10:46,618 --> 01:10:48,578
Knock knock.
883
01:10:50,997 --> 01:10:53,250
OK. Um…
884
01:10:53,333 --> 01:10:54,542
My flat.
885
01:10:57,420 --> 01:10:59,798
See? Portable Door.
886
01:11:05,845 --> 01:11:07,764
This is your flat?
—Yeah.
887
01:11:09,683 --> 01:11:11,101
You're actually quite neat.
888
01:11:12,560 --> 01:11:13,561
What?
889
01:11:18,066 --> 01:11:20,110
So it goes wherever you want to go?
890
01:11:21,569 --> 01:11:24,197
This has just become
the best job in the world.
891
01:11:26,074 --> 01:11:27,617
Oh before you do that,
can we just—
892
01:11:27,701 --> 01:11:28,827
Knock knock.
893
01:11:28,910 --> 01:11:30,537
I have to tell you what I saw.
—Amazing.
894
01:11:30,620 --> 01:11:32,122
It was an interview with you.
895
01:11:32,205 --> 01:11:34,124
There was all these people watching—
—Come on!
896
01:11:34,207 --> 01:11:36,167
# Little Bitty Pretty One —
Thurston Harris #
897
01:11:36,251 --> 01:11:38,295
I need to tell you—
—Paul, come up here!
898
01:11:38,378 --> 01:11:39,254
I have to tell you—
899
01:11:41,965 --> 01:11:44,342
Whoa!
900
01:11:44,426 --> 01:11:46,052
Amazing.
901
01:11:47,345 --> 01:11:49,097
We're on top of the world!
902
01:11:52,517 --> 01:11:55,353
Close your eyes. No. Your ears.
903
01:12:04,279 --> 01:12:06,656
Fiji?
—No.
904
01:12:06,740 --> 01:12:08,742
Jamaica?
—Warmer!
905
01:12:27,635 --> 01:12:29,095
Really?
906
01:12:33,600 --> 01:12:35,977
I'm busy this week.
907
01:12:36,061 --> 01:12:38,772
You should be able to handle
these clients, yes?
908
01:13:08,176 --> 01:13:11,346
Look at that. Amazing.
—It's so cool.
909
01:13:11,429 --> 01:13:13,431
It's so beautiful here.
910
01:13:13,515 --> 01:13:16,226
So what's your favourite
place that we've been to?
911
01:13:16,309 --> 01:13:18,395
My favourite place
that we've been to?
912
01:13:18,478 --> 01:13:20,772
Or is that too difficult?
—That is a really hard question.
913
01:13:20,855 --> 01:13:21,773
I don't know.
914
01:13:37,330 --> 01:13:39,749
Did I mention
I was the South—East junior ballroom
915
01:13:39,833 --> 01:13:42,502
champion three years running?
—Failed to, actually!
916
01:13:42,585 --> 01:13:45,171
Three years. I'm serious!
—You hide it so well.
917
01:13:45,255 --> 01:13:46,965
Well, don't want to show off, do I?
918
01:13:47,048 --> 01:13:49,217
Don't be like that!
You're actually really good…
919
01:14:13,867 --> 01:14:15,118
Sandra?
920
01:14:15,201 --> 01:14:16,661
Oh my God!
921
01:14:18,037 --> 01:14:19,205
I don't believe it!
922
01:15:11,883 --> 01:15:14,177
Have I told you
I can read minds now, too?
923
01:15:15,261 --> 01:15:16,554
Really?
924
01:15:17,096 --> 01:15:18,973
What am I thinking?
925
01:15:19,057 --> 01:15:21,017
Gosh, Paul is handsome
and interesting.
926
01:15:28,775 --> 01:15:30,485
Maybe we should stay here.
927
01:15:32,237 --> 01:15:35,949
You know,
just eat fresh seafood every day.
928
01:15:36,032 --> 01:15:37,492
Yeah.
929
01:15:37,575 --> 01:15:39,118
Except I hate fish.
930
01:15:39,202 --> 01:15:41,371
But you don't know yourself, do you?
931
01:15:41,454 --> 01:15:42,830
Maybe you love it.
932
01:15:47,627 --> 01:15:50,296
Or we could just take
the Portable Door for lunch
933
01:15:50,380 --> 01:15:52,257
somewhere different every day.
934
01:15:54,842 --> 01:15:56,594
We could build a little house.
935
01:15:58,346 --> 01:15:59,806
Over there.
936
01:16:07,063 --> 01:16:08,189
I like you.
937
01:16:09,816 --> 01:16:12,944
I really do, quite a lot,
which is…
938
01:16:13,027 --> 01:16:15,154
weird because you're such a…
939
01:16:22,453 --> 01:16:26,374
But ever since I signed
that stupid fast—track contract
940
01:16:27,250 --> 01:16:30,378
I feel like they're in control
of that whole part of me.
941
01:16:31,713 --> 01:16:33,172
My instinct.
942
01:16:36,718 --> 01:16:37,927
My heart.
943
01:16:41,973 --> 01:16:44,058
I don't trust my own feelings.
944
01:16:47,729 --> 01:16:50,857
I guess I don't know
if what I'm feeling for you is real.
945
01:16:54,944 --> 01:16:58,031
Well, then we have to find
this thing that you signed.
946
01:16:58,114 --> 01:16:59,532
Why?
947
01:16:59,616 --> 01:17:02,076
We could reverse it somehow.
948
01:17:02,160 --> 01:17:04,621
So then you'd know
who you really are.
949
01:17:04,704 --> 01:17:09,334
And how you really feel about pies,
and jazz.
950
01:17:09,417 --> 01:17:10,793
And especially…
951
01:17:12,545 --> 01:17:13,838
… liquorice.
952
01:17:14,464 --> 01:17:16,257
But how do we reverse it?
953
01:17:16,716 --> 01:17:18,217
Well I don't know.
954
01:17:18,301 --> 01:17:19,677
But we have to try.
955
01:17:23,014 --> 01:17:25,350
Knock knock.
956
01:17:29,062 --> 01:17:32,231
We should check Humphrey's
office first. After work.
957
01:17:37,695 --> 01:17:38,821
Interns!
958
01:17:38,905 --> 01:17:41,616
There's a rumour going around,
and I hope it's—
959
01:17:42,659 --> 01:17:44,160
Why are you dressed like that?
960
01:17:44,243 --> 01:17:45,203
We're not.
—Theme party.
961
01:17:45,286 --> 01:17:46,579
Tonight.
—Last night.
962
01:17:46,663 --> 01:17:47,955
Beach theme.
963
01:17:48,039 --> 01:17:49,874
It was a good party, actually.
So much fun.
964
01:17:57,006 --> 01:18:00,510
Do you have any idea what
thin ice you are on?
965
01:18:03,221 --> 01:18:04,555
I'm going to say this once,
966
01:18:04,639 --> 01:18:07,058
and then you're on your own.
967
01:18:07,141 --> 01:18:10,937
Fold it up,
put it outside Mr Wells' door
968
01:18:11,020 --> 01:18:14,399
walk away and never,
never come back.
969
01:18:16,109 --> 01:18:17,568
And if you're lucky…
970
01:18:18,778 --> 01:18:21,114
… he'll be too busy to bother
killing you.
971
01:18:26,911 --> 01:18:29,038
He knows.
But he didn't do anything.
972
01:18:29,122 --> 01:18:31,124
He's right. Is he right?
We should leave.
973
01:18:31,207 --> 01:18:33,501
We have to find your contract.
—And what? Rip it up?
974
01:18:33,584 --> 01:18:35,962
I don't know.
But we have to do something.
975
01:18:36,045 --> 01:18:37,505
We'll come back tonight.
976
01:18:37,922 --> 01:18:38,840
OK.
977
01:18:48,766 --> 01:18:50,518
Good evening.
—Goodnight.
978
01:19:38,775 --> 01:19:41,652
Didn't you say Humphrey's office?
—I did.
979
01:19:41,736 --> 01:19:43,821
Well this is not Humphrey's office.
980
01:19:44,989 --> 01:19:47,033
Those are a lot of printers.
981
01:19:47,116 --> 01:19:49,410
The door wanted us to come here.
982
01:19:49,494 --> 01:19:51,788
So what? It has a personality now?
983
01:19:53,039 --> 01:19:54,749
Oh shit!
984
01:19:54,832 --> 01:19:56,125
What is it?
985
01:19:56,667 --> 01:19:58,002
It's gone.
986
01:19:59,086 --> 01:20:00,963
Just… be careful.
987
01:20:06,803 --> 01:20:10,431
The last time I was here these
printers were all printing,
988
01:20:10,515 --> 01:20:11,682
but I don't know what.
989
01:20:13,976 --> 01:20:15,937
They're terms and conditions.
990
01:20:16,020 --> 01:20:18,898
Those things you click 'agree'
but never read.
991
01:20:20,942 --> 01:20:22,819
Operation Fine Print.
992
01:20:23,903 --> 01:20:26,280
Humphrey's mentioned that.
993
01:20:26,781 --> 01:20:28,908
Was that a bad scream
or a good scream?
994
01:20:30,243 --> 01:20:31,536
I'm hoping good.
995
01:20:34,789 --> 01:20:36,999
They're all different.
996
01:20:38,376 --> 01:20:40,503
This one's a gym membership.
997
01:20:42,296 --> 01:20:43,673
This is a train ticket.
998
01:20:44,382 --> 01:20:47,552
A rental agreement.
But why is JW Wells collecting them?
999
01:20:50,555 --> 01:20:52,306
Maybe this is what I signed.
1000
01:21:23,838 --> 01:21:26,173
We have to get to Humphrey's office—
1001
01:21:26,257 --> 01:21:28,175
What was that?
—Uh…
1002
01:21:31,470 --> 01:21:33,097
I actually don't know.
1003
01:21:38,436 --> 01:21:39,770
Sophie!
1004
01:21:45,943 --> 01:21:49,238
I'm happy to not find out
what that is and just, you know,
1005
01:21:49,322 --> 01:21:52,033
stick to the plan.
1006
01:21:52,116 --> 01:21:53,451
We should at least look.
1007
01:21:53,910 --> 01:21:55,202
Should we, though?
1008
01:21:55,912 --> 01:21:59,165
One, two, three!
1009
01:22:50,424 --> 01:22:52,218
Knock knock.
1010
01:22:56,055 --> 01:22:57,515
Humphrey's office.
1011
01:23:06,816 --> 01:23:08,317
It's not listening to us.
1012
01:23:14,615 --> 01:23:16,283
Ripae Mortuorum.
1013
01:23:20,454 --> 01:23:21,956
Bank of the Dead.
1014
01:23:24,041 --> 01:23:25,626
One way.
1015
01:23:25,710 --> 01:23:27,378
That was in my dream.
1016
01:23:27,461 --> 01:23:29,255
He said something about that.
1017
01:23:29,338 --> 01:23:31,257
I think I saw that.
1018
01:23:31,340 --> 01:23:32,758
In the fine print.
1019
01:23:40,266 --> 01:23:42,560
Here! Bank of the Dead.
1020
01:23:42,643 --> 01:23:45,062
By clicking 'agree'
I consent to signing my soul,
1021
01:23:45,146 --> 01:23:48,190
my entire soul, and therefore all
desires and instincts and needs
1022
01:23:48,274 --> 01:23:49,734
over to JW Wells and Company,
1023
01:23:49,817 --> 01:23:52,403
to be held in the Bank of the Dead
for perpetuity.
1024
01:23:52,486 --> 01:23:55,364
Forever and a day,
in all territories and universes.
1025
01:23:56,032 --> 01:23:58,242
Operation Fine Print.
1026
01:23:58,325 --> 01:24:00,870
Humphrey and Dennis.
—They're stealing souls.
1027
01:24:01,704 --> 01:24:03,164
They stole my soul.
1028
01:24:05,875 --> 01:24:08,377
And now Humphrey's going to control
the instincts of anyone
1029
01:24:08,461 --> 01:24:09,795
who signs this or clicks 'agree.'
1030
01:24:09,879 --> 01:24:11,714
I mean, that could be
millions of people.
1031
01:24:16,260 --> 01:24:17,386
Sophie?
1032
01:24:18,888 --> 01:24:21,515
Maybe we should walk over here.
1033
01:24:21,599 --> 01:24:22,516
Yeah?
1034
01:24:23,267 --> 01:24:24,560
Just walk.
1035
01:24:25,311 --> 01:24:26,979
Don't make any sudden moves.
1036
01:24:28,230 --> 01:24:30,483
Nothing to panic about.
1037
01:24:31,859 --> 01:24:33,402
Just over here.
1038
01:24:35,571 --> 01:24:36,947
Slowly.
1039
01:24:37,031 --> 01:24:38,324
Slowly.
1040
01:24:46,665 --> 01:24:48,209
This has to be the way out.
1041
01:24:51,170 --> 01:24:53,881
Paul?
1042
01:25:00,846 --> 01:25:01,972
Sophie, go!
1043
01:25:02,389 --> 01:25:04,517
Through here!
1044
01:25:10,231 --> 01:25:11,357
Are you OK?
—Yeah.
1045
01:25:12,650 --> 01:25:14,568
Yeah. Are you OK?
1046
01:25:15,820 --> 01:25:16,737
Yeah.
1047
01:25:22,118 --> 01:25:26,038
Did I give you permission to be
down here? Let me think.
1048
01:25:26,622 --> 01:25:28,499
No, I did not.
1049
01:25:28,582 --> 01:25:29,875
Mr Tanner,
1050
01:25:29,959 --> 01:25:33,337
the whole place is crawling with
the most disgusting, hideous things.
1051
01:25:33,420 --> 01:25:35,840
Now that is truly offensive.
1052
01:25:35,923 --> 01:25:39,969
These things are the reason
you are forbidden to be down here
1053
01:25:40,052 --> 01:25:41,303
after hours!
1054
01:25:41,428 --> 01:25:43,264
It's not as if you weren't warned!
1055
01:25:44,723 --> 01:25:46,100
You're a goblin?
1056
01:25:46,183 --> 01:25:48,561
Ha! How kind of you to note.
1057
01:25:50,604 --> 01:25:52,731
You humans are so stupid.
1058
01:25:52,815 --> 01:25:55,818
I've looked out for you
your whole life, Carpenter.
1059
01:25:55,901 --> 01:25:57,236
If it wasn't for goblins,
1060
01:25:57,319 --> 01:25:59,572
you'd still be picking
fleas off each other's backs
1061
01:25:59,655 --> 01:26:02,825
and clubbing your food
to death with a jawbone.
1062
01:26:04,952 --> 01:26:07,705
And yet you ignored
my simple advice.
1063
01:26:08,706 --> 01:26:09,999
Now.
1064
01:26:10,082 --> 01:26:12,209
Hand it over!
1065
01:26:12,293 --> 01:26:14,336
Dennis! Enough!
1066
01:26:15,713 --> 01:26:17,047
Mr Wells!
1067
01:26:18,215 --> 01:26:20,634
I expected so much more
from you, Paul.
1068
01:26:20,718 --> 01:26:23,971
It's after hours, Mr Wells.
I have it under control.
1069
01:26:24,054 --> 01:26:27,641
Oh, what would you have done?
Drooled them into submission?
1070
01:26:27,725 --> 01:26:30,603
You greasy, thug—nosed parasite.
—Give me your bag.
1071
01:26:30,686 --> 01:26:32,897
Call off your toads.
—How dare you!
1072
01:26:32,980 --> 01:26:33,856
Call them off.
1073
01:26:33,939 --> 01:26:37,067
I'm not afraid of you.
This is my domain down here.
1074
01:26:39,195 --> 01:26:40,779
Careful, Dennis.
1075
01:26:41,906 --> 01:26:44,074
You ought to think very carefully.
1076
01:26:45,201 --> 01:26:48,537
A gutter—living Goblin
challenging a Great Wizard?
1077
01:26:48,621 --> 01:26:50,664
Now, Mr Great Wizard…
1078
01:26:52,124 --> 01:26:56,795
… you'd be nothing without us.
Who would line up your clients?
1079
01:26:57,630 --> 01:26:59,673
Who would do your grunt work, hey?
1080
01:27:00,674 --> 01:27:03,969
And what would you do?
No jobs, nowhere to live.
1081
01:27:04,053 --> 01:27:07,556
No unlimited supply of
delicious pigeons?
1082
01:27:11,185 --> 01:27:12,811
Turn them back!
1083
01:27:12,895 --> 01:27:14,438
Turn them back!
—Knock knock.
1084
01:27:14,521 --> 01:27:15,898
The Door!
—Say somewhere!
1085
01:27:16,023 --> 01:27:17,024
Say nothing!
1086
01:27:23,572 --> 01:27:26,200
Who closes the door keeps the door.
1087
01:27:41,340 --> 01:27:43,467
I tried to say somewhere,
but Humphrey stopped me.
1088
01:28:02,903 --> 01:28:04,196
Who are you?
1089
01:28:07,324 --> 01:28:08,450
Do you have it?
1090
01:28:08,534 --> 01:28:11,078
We have to get out of here!
—Stay where you are.
1091
01:28:13,497 --> 01:28:14,832
Whoa!
—Careful, Paul!
1092
01:28:14,915 --> 01:28:18,127
You can't get anywhere.
Unless you have it, you can't leave.
1093
01:28:18,210 --> 01:28:20,671
What's going on, Paul?
1094
01:28:20,754 --> 01:28:22,965
Who are you?
—You don't have it, do you?
1095
01:28:23,048 --> 01:28:24,466
The Portable Door?
1096
01:28:25,009 --> 01:28:26,135
We did, but—
—Ohh.
1097
01:28:29,388 --> 01:28:31,265
Wait! How do we get out?
1098
01:28:31,348 --> 01:28:32,975
Hey! We have to get out!
1099
01:28:33,058 --> 01:28:35,311
Who closes the door keeps the door.
1100
01:28:35,394 --> 01:28:36,729
What does that mean?
1101
01:28:37,229 --> 01:28:38,772
Who closes the door?
1102
01:28:39,273 --> 01:28:40,941
Humphrey closed the door.
1103
01:28:41,025 --> 01:28:43,402
So he keeps it?
—But we're surrounded by doors.
1104
01:28:43,485 --> 01:28:45,863
So one of these must be a way out.
1105
01:28:45,946 --> 01:28:47,323
Bless you.
1106
01:28:47,406 --> 01:28:49,199
You're in the Nether.
1107
01:28:49,283 --> 01:28:51,368
There are no doors out of
the Nether.
1108
01:28:53,245 --> 01:28:54,538
You're John Wells.
1109
01:28:57,708 --> 01:28:59,376
You've got Humphrey's soul.
1110
01:29:00,336 --> 01:29:01,503
How did you know that?
1111
01:29:01,587 --> 01:29:04,048
You made him sign his soul
over to you. That's the contract.
1112
01:29:04,173 --> 01:29:07,092
Oh, he was an evil child.
Awful.
1113
01:29:07,176 --> 01:29:08,385
I needed insurance.
1114
01:29:09,136 --> 01:29:11,263
So you can control him, then?
1115
01:29:11,347 --> 01:29:12,598
You can make him let us out.
1116
01:29:12,681 --> 01:29:15,434
What, you don't think I would have
thought of that years ago?
1117
01:29:15,517 --> 01:29:16,643
I have a contract,
1118
01:29:16,727 --> 01:29:19,146
but it's pointless
if I can't get it to the bank.
1119
01:29:20,773 --> 01:29:22,149
Bank of the Dead.
1120
01:29:23,859 --> 01:29:25,110
No, wait a minute.
1121
01:29:26,653 --> 01:29:29,073
You have a contract for
Humphrey Wells' soul
1122
01:29:29,156 --> 01:29:31,116
and if we get it to the bank,
he's yours?
1123
01:29:32,368 --> 01:29:35,079
You have indeed found
the root to the problem.
1124
01:29:35,954 --> 01:29:37,373
So we're here forever?
1125
01:29:39,041 --> 01:29:39,917
Yeah.
1126
01:29:41,251 --> 01:29:42,753
I can find a way out.
1127
01:29:44,588 --> 01:29:46,131
It's what I do.
1128
01:29:46,215 --> 01:29:48,884
There are no doors out of
the Nether, only in.
1129
01:30:03,315 --> 01:30:05,234
I don't like this any
more than you do.
1130
01:30:05,317 --> 01:30:06,652
But it has to be done.
1131
01:30:06,735 --> 01:30:08,695
Rush, rush, you goblins!
1132
01:30:08,779 --> 01:30:13,075
Pull your case
you horrid, little corgi!
1133
01:30:22,042 --> 01:30:24,294
So Humphrey used the Portable Door
to get my soul
1134
01:30:24,378 --> 01:30:25,796
to the Bank of the Dead?
1135
01:30:25,879 --> 01:30:27,131
And to trap me.
1136
01:30:27,214 --> 01:30:29,842
But then it went missing,
so he needed Paul to find it.
1137
01:30:31,885 --> 01:30:33,178
Hello?
1138
01:30:37,516 --> 01:30:39,101
How did he trap you here?
1139
01:30:40,602 --> 01:30:41,812
He tricked me.
1140
01:30:42,896 --> 01:30:45,566
My baby dragon was used
to lure me in.
1141
01:30:46,733 --> 01:30:49,945
Very simple trick, really.
I shouldn't have fallen for it.
1142
01:30:50,028 --> 01:30:51,196
So cruel.
1143
01:30:52,239 --> 01:30:55,117
He left me with my books.
—Why?
1144
01:30:55,576 --> 01:30:57,995
Something to read.
—I mean, why here?
1145
01:30:58,912 --> 01:31:02,749
It's the only place to hold
a Great Wizard.
1146
01:31:02,833 --> 01:31:05,794
I'll be here forever.
It's different for you.
1147
01:31:07,921 --> 01:31:11,675
You'll run out of food and water
in a few days and die a messy death.
1148
01:31:12,926 --> 01:31:16,472
And I'll be stuck with
a couple of decomposing corpses
1149
01:31:16,555 --> 01:31:17,848
and no place to put them.
1150
01:31:35,782 --> 01:31:36,992
I'm OK!
1151
01:32:24,957 --> 01:32:26,083
Found something!
1152
01:32:27,918 --> 01:32:29,920
This one actually goes somewhere.
1153
01:32:34,633 --> 01:32:36,051
Not possible.
1154
01:32:52,192 --> 01:32:53,402
I'm free!
1155
01:32:53,485 --> 01:32:57,739
I'm free! Paul Carpenter,
you may be more than just a diviner.
1156
01:32:58,448 --> 01:33:00,826
Maybe you're—
Yeah, let's get on with it.
1157
01:33:01,410 --> 01:33:02,661
Maybe I'm a what?
1158
01:33:04,121 --> 01:33:06,164
I really wish he finished
that sentence.
1159
01:33:09,543 --> 01:33:10,669
Mr Wells!
1160
01:33:10,752 --> 01:33:12,004
You're alive!
1161
01:33:12,087 --> 01:33:13,547
Yes, very much, Rosie.
1162
01:33:13,630 --> 01:33:15,591
Unfortunately,
you might be too late.
1163
01:33:15,674 --> 01:33:17,926
Right. Now it's up to you two.
1164
01:33:18,010 --> 01:33:19,428
Take this to the Bank of the Dead.
1165
01:33:19,511 --> 01:33:21,555
That will give me control
of Humphrey.
1166
01:33:21,638 --> 01:33:23,682
Actually, I'll come with you.
1167
01:33:25,225 --> 01:33:27,060
Rosie, get your husband.
1168
01:33:36,236 --> 01:33:37,529
Just follow me.
1169
01:33:40,032 --> 01:33:42,409
Come on,
you disgusting little trolls!
1170
01:33:44,119 --> 01:33:46,455
Those are the contracts.
All those souls.
1171
01:33:46,538 --> 01:33:48,707
The door must be nearby.
1172
01:33:51,335 --> 01:33:52,919
Why do they need
more incentives?
1173
01:33:53,003 --> 01:33:55,130
I'm very creative with
incentives.
1174
01:33:55,213 --> 01:33:57,799
Now then, come along.
You heard Mr Wells.
1175
01:33:57,883 --> 01:34:00,844
You heard Mr—
You! What do you think you're doing?
1176
01:34:00,927 --> 01:34:02,304
Tea break is over.
1177
01:34:02,387 --> 01:34:05,223
What do you think this is,
Fortnum and bloody Mason?
1178
01:34:05,307 --> 01:34:07,476
And you! Get off your lardy arse!
1179
01:34:07,559 --> 01:34:09,478
Come along now! Everybody!
1180
01:34:09,561 --> 01:34:13,565
Come along, this is not Buckingham
Palace! It's not a garden party!
1181
01:34:13,649 --> 01:34:15,734
It's not a garden party!
1182
01:34:15,817 --> 01:34:17,402
The bank is open.
1183
01:34:17,486 --> 01:34:19,988
Your contract will be inside.
1184
01:34:20,072 --> 01:34:22,366
Where's Humphrey?
I'll take care of him.
1185
01:34:23,825 --> 01:34:26,078
You just take that
contract into the bank.
1186
01:34:26,161 --> 01:34:28,455
Once it's deposited, he's mine.
1187
01:34:28,538 --> 01:34:30,499
Well, well, well.
1188
01:34:30,582 --> 01:34:32,334
Hurry along! Keep moving!
1189
01:34:41,927 --> 01:34:43,178
Mr Wells!
1190
01:34:45,305 --> 01:34:47,099
Hello, Father.
1191
01:34:50,936 --> 01:34:52,020
Go!
1192
01:34:53,730 --> 01:34:55,732
Don't waste a moment!
Get back to work.
1193
01:34:58,402 --> 01:34:59,486
Keep calm! Carry on!
1194
01:35:06,118 --> 01:35:07,577
Keep calm!
1195
01:35:08,328 --> 01:35:11,540
Back to work.
Get up! Get up, there! Get up!
1196
01:35:17,295 --> 01:35:19,464
Sophie!
—Paul! Paul, the door.
1197
01:35:19,548 --> 01:35:21,258
Get into the bank!
—Catch them!
1198
01:35:21,341 --> 01:35:23,385
The door! Paul!
1199
01:35:26,346 --> 01:35:28,849
Get off!
Oh, get off! It's unseemly!
1200
01:35:28,932 --> 01:35:30,308
Get off that man!
1201
01:35:52,789 --> 01:35:54,416
Help!
1202
01:35:56,334 --> 01:35:58,211
'Countess, we need you.
1203
01:35:58,295 --> 01:35:59,880
Humphrey is stealing
millions of souls
1204
01:35:59,963 --> 01:36:01,715
and now he's going to kill
John Wells.'
1205
01:36:05,010 --> 01:36:07,429
Eric, are you alright?
1206
01:36:08,263 --> 01:36:09,931
Sophie!
1207
01:36:10,015 --> 01:36:11,266
Get off!
1208
01:36:19,274 --> 01:36:20,233
You OK?
1209
01:36:25,197 --> 01:36:26,865
Mr Tanner!
—Yes?
1210
01:36:26,948 --> 01:36:28,074
Help!
1211
01:36:28,617 --> 01:36:30,035
Don't do it, Dennis!
1212
01:36:31,495 --> 01:36:33,997
No. No, Sir Humphrey, of course not.
No, no, no.
1213
01:36:34,080 --> 01:36:36,833
Sorry about this, Paul.
Just obeying orders.
1214
01:36:37,334 --> 01:36:38,376
Comfort stop.
1215
01:36:38,460 --> 01:36:40,629
It's Monty, and if I had my way,
1216
01:36:40,712 --> 01:36:43,006
I'd shtonk that Humphrey
in the uhab.
1217
01:36:43,089 --> 01:36:45,008
What?
—Paul!
1218
01:36:46,009 --> 01:36:47,135
Mum!
1219
01:36:48,845 --> 01:36:49,888
Mr Wells!
1220
01:36:50,222 --> 01:36:51,473
It's Arthur!
1221
01:37:14,996 --> 01:37:17,415
Arthur!
—Rosie!
1222
01:37:17,499 --> 01:37:18,750
My love!
1223
01:37:24,881 --> 01:37:26,591
Dad, you're back!
1224
01:37:28,426 --> 01:37:30,011
Dennis!
1225
01:37:36,518 --> 01:37:39,354
Ooh, have we been weakened by
the Nether?
1226
01:37:40,313 --> 01:37:42,190
Paul! Run!
1227
01:37:51,283 --> 01:37:52,284
Paul!
1228
01:37:52,367 --> 01:37:53,660
Humphrey!
1229
01:37:53,743 --> 01:37:56,913
Humphrey, this is completely against
the Magicians' Code of Conduct.
1230
01:37:56,997 --> 01:37:58,248
Not one step closer.
1231
01:37:59,708 --> 01:38:03,628
Seems my father's not as powerful
as he thought he was.
1232
01:38:03,712 --> 01:38:06,339
What are you going to do, Humphrey?
—You'll have to kill us all.
1233
01:38:06,423 --> 01:38:07,841
Please, Humphrey, stop this now.
1234
01:38:07,924 --> 01:38:10,218
All I ever wanted was to think big.
1235
01:38:11,469 --> 01:38:13,221
You weren't brave enough.
1236
01:38:14,264 --> 01:38:18,810
This company was behind the moon
landing, the splitting of the atom.
1237
01:38:18,894 --> 01:38:19,978
For what?
1238
01:38:20,061 --> 01:38:23,481
Are humans still ruining everything?
Of course they are.
1239
01:38:23,565 --> 01:38:26,818
Do they realise what we do for them?
1240
01:38:26,902 --> 01:38:28,194
Of course they don't.
1241
01:38:36,244 --> 01:38:39,247
I will continue my plan alone
1242
01:38:39,331 --> 01:38:42,751
now that the traitors have
been smoked out.
1243
01:38:43,835 --> 01:38:47,380
Yeah, rebellion's over.
You're all going to the Nether.
1244
01:38:47,464 --> 01:38:48,673
But first?
1245
01:38:49,382 --> 01:38:50,425
You.
1246
01:38:51,676 --> 01:38:52,636
Bring it over.
1247
01:38:56,765 --> 01:38:57,974
No!
1248
01:38:58,058 --> 01:38:58,975
Humphrey, enough!
1249
01:39:00,810 --> 01:39:02,562
Now, Carpenter.
1250
01:39:05,523 --> 01:39:09,736
I want you to bring that damned
contract over to me.
1251
01:39:12,781 --> 01:39:16,326
I want you to bring
my soul over to me.
1252
01:39:17,953 --> 01:39:22,499
And I will hold it
in front of my Father's fading eyes.
1253
01:39:23,833 --> 01:39:26,169
And I want to tear it to shreds.
1254
01:39:29,214 --> 01:39:33,426
Because the last thing you will see
is the end of your hold over me.
1255
01:39:34,886 --> 01:39:36,638
I…
—What? What?
1256
01:39:36,721 --> 01:39:40,392
No, sorry, can't understand.
Did anyone understand what—
1257
01:39:40,517 --> 01:39:41,393
No?
1258
01:39:43,103 --> 01:39:44,187
Carpenter.
1259
01:39:44,270 --> 01:39:45,522
Let's have it.
1260
01:39:46,272 --> 01:39:47,732
No, Paul.
—Come on!
1261
01:39:47,816 --> 01:39:49,901
Paul, don't do it. Please.
1262
01:39:51,277 --> 01:39:53,905
You can't give it to him.
—Get moving!
1263
01:39:53,989 --> 01:39:55,991
Don't listen to them.
1264
01:39:56,074 --> 01:39:57,283
'Paul.'
1265
01:39:58,660 --> 01:39:59,869
'Paul.'
1266
01:40:01,454 --> 01:40:03,623
'If you can hear me, touch your ear.
1267
01:40:05,375 --> 01:40:07,502
In the Nether,
with all those doors.'
1268
01:40:07,585 --> 01:40:09,087
Keep on keeping on!
1269
01:40:10,046 --> 01:40:12,215
'What if you didn't find
the way out?
1270
01:40:13,883 --> 01:40:15,510
What if you created it?
1271
01:40:17,846 --> 01:40:20,098
The Bank is right below you.
1272
01:40:23,768 --> 01:40:26,521
Make your own door, Paul.'
1273
01:40:27,689 --> 01:40:29,607
Keep going! Come on!
1274
01:41:16,196 --> 01:41:18,114
He's vanished.
1275
01:41:18,198 --> 01:41:19,491
Where'd he go?
1276
01:41:58,363 --> 01:41:59,906
Next, please.
1277
01:42:03,910 --> 01:42:05,703
Mr Carpenter…
1278
01:42:06,996 --> 01:42:11,417
… you're not due here for 142 years.
1279
01:42:12,293 --> 01:42:13,378
Um…
1280
01:42:14,254 --> 01:42:15,797
I'd like to make a deposit.
1281
01:42:36,734 --> 01:42:38,069
Actually…
1282
01:42:39,863 --> 01:42:41,447
… I'd like to make a trade.
1283
01:42:48,288 --> 01:42:50,290
Oh, Mr Wells! He's done it!
1284
01:42:50,373 --> 01:42:51,833
You've got his soul.
1285
01:42:51,916 --> 01:42:53,084
Quickly!
1286
01:42:55,170 --> 01:42:56,087
The door.
1287
01:42:56,171 --> 01:42:58,339
The door.
—Sophie, quickly, get the door.
1288
01:43:01,092 --> 01:43:02,343
Knock knock.
1289
01:43:24,782 --> 01:43:25,783
No.
1290
01:43:28,244 --> 01:43:30,205
No, please.
1291
01:43:36,502 --> 01:43:38,087
Please. Please!
1292
01:43:50,934 --> 01:43:53,353
Dad, please. Please.
1293
01:43:56,397 --> 01:43:57,899
John. You must.
1294
01:44:00,443 --> 01:44:01,402
Go.
1295
01:44:14,082 --> 01:44:16,751
Sophie, will you get the door,
please?
1296
01:44:22,757 --> 01:44:24,467
He's gone! It's over!
1297
01:44:35,353 --> 01:44:36,521
What are you doing?
1298
01:44:37,021 --> 01:44:39,857
This door will never be
opened again.
1299
01:44:39,941 --> 01:44:41,359
But what about Paul?
1300
01:44:43,194 --> 01:44:44,779
How do we get him back?
1301
01:44:47,907 --> 01:44:50,076
Sophie…
1302
01:45:10,722 --> 01:45:12,015
Oh, um…
1303
01:45:12,765 --> 01:45:15,476
I think this belongs to you?
1304
01:45:31,659 --> 01:45:32,952
Dad!
1305
01:45:33,036 --> 01:45:34,662
Mum, no! No, Dad!
1306
01:45:35,705 --> 01:45:36,622
We did it, Paul.
1307
01:45:40,084 --> 01:45:41,085
Not quite.
1308
01:45:47,258 --> 01:45:48,843
Forgot one.
1309
01:46:04,067 --> 01:46:05,318
Take a seat.
1310
01:46:07,320 --> 01:46:08,571
Dennis!
1311
01:46:11,324 --> 01:46:14,369
Don't worry about my turncoat,
backstabbing son.
1312
01:46:14,452 --> 01:46:18,206
He won't both you again,
will you, Denn—
1313
01:46:19,791 --> 01:46:21,125
Sorry about that.
1314
01:46:22,293 --> 01:46:25,088
Humphrey had to choose stapler,
didn't he?
1315
01:46:25,171 --> 01:46:27,548
Now, first order of business.
1316
01:46:27,632 --> 01:46:29,717
What to do with you two.
1317
01:46:30,927 --> 01:46:32,053
Paul.
1318
01:46:32,762 --> 01:46:35,014
With your… skillset,
1319
01:46:35,681 --> 01:46:41,312
we think you're most suited to a
junior position in Lost and Found.
1320
01:46:41,979 --> 01:46:44,524
Oh, great.
'You've got to be kidding me.'
1321
01:46:44,607 --> 01:46:49,112
The past few years have been
a blight on our great firm.
1322
01:46:49,195 --> 01:46:51,197
'Are you listening to my thoughts?'
1323
01:46:53,157 --> 01:46:54,409
'Sophie?'
1324
01:46:56,244 --> 01:46:58,621
'You have a tiny weird bug
on your forehead.'
1325
01:47:00,998 --> 01:47:02,291
Sorry.
1326
01:47:04,293 --> 01:47:06,546
Well, all souls have been returned.
1327
01:47:07,713 --> 01:47:09,841
'So now you can hear my thoughts?'
1328
01:47:11,342 --> 01:47:12,718
'I can't block you out?'
1329
01:47:13,344 --> 01:47:15,221
… ever.
—Absolutely.
1330
01:47:15,304 --> 01:47:17,056
Good.
—'OK then.
1331
01:47:17,140 --> 01:47:21,394
Can I ask, now that you have
full control of your instincts,
1332
01:47:21,477 --> 01:47:22,854
your heart
1333
01:47:23,479 --> 01:47:26,441
do you still feel that way for me?'
1334
01:47:26,524 --> 01:47:28,067
And Sophie.
1335
01:47:28,151 --> 01:47:32,196
With your impressive abilities
and your natural talents
1336
01:47:32,280 --> 01:47:36,617
you'll be fast—tracked
to the position of VP
1337
01:47:36,701 --> 01:47:38,995
in the Department
of Coincidensation.
1338
01:47:42,248 --> 01:47:44,542
Do you like the sound of that,
Sophie?
1339
01:47:46,085 --> 01:47:47,587
'So do you?
1340
01:47:47,670 --> 01:47:49,005
Feel the same?'
1341
01:47:49,088 --> 01:47:51,549
Sophie, do you?
—Yes.
1342
01:47:51,632 --> 01:47:52,925
I do.
1343
01:47:55,052 --> 01:47:56,220
Excellent.
1344
01:48:45,394 --> 01:48:47,730
Housekeeping! Knock knock!
1345
01:48:53,986 --> 01:48:58,074
AccessibleCustomerService@sky.uk
1346
01:54:02,378 --> 01:54:05,798
# Little Bitty Pretty One —
Thurston Harris #
1347
01:54:58,142 --> 01:55:00,436
Er, lost and found, Paul speaking.
90271
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