All language subtitles for Everybody.Loves.Raymond.S09E06.Allys.F.720p.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-BS-ing

- Really?

What did he say?

- He said it's time
to get off the phone.

- Oh, he's so funny.

- Come on, sweetie.
I need your help.

- In a minute.
He's really cute.

- Not in a minute.
Now.

- All right.
Look, I got to go.

My mom's freaking out again.
See you.

Could you set the table, please?

- Jeez, what's your problem?

- My problem?

What is my problem?

You want to know
what my problem is?

You and I need
to have a little talk.

- Hey, crinkle cuts.

- Daddy!

- Hey!

Aw.
- Let me take that for you.

- Sure.
What a nice girl.

Could we go for two nice girls?

- I asked you to set the table.

- Oh, boy.

Ah, what's that I smell?
My favorite, lemon chicken.

- Hey, hold it.

What do you got there?
- It's personal.

- Can I see it, please?

- Well, I mean, deb,
if it's personal, then--

Do what your mother says.

Oh, it's from the school.

- What is that,
your midterm grades?

- I have to go to the bathroom.
- Stop.

- English, "a."

History, "b."

Phys. Ed., "b."
these are very good.

These are kind of like
my grades,

Except for
the "a"s and "b"s.

Science, "b,"

Math,

"f".

- "f"?

You're getting
an "f" in math?

- Why do you always
just look at the negative?

- Excuse me, who do you think
you're talking to?

- I got good grades too.

- Yeah, but we're not
talking about them.

- Okay, hey, why don't we drop
the high and the low

And then sink our teeth
into some sweet lemon chicken?

- Ally, what's going on
with math?

- Nothing.

I hate mr. Putnam.

- Why do you hate him?

- I just do, okay?
He's so mean.

- Oh, come on.

- He is mean!
Take his side, why don't you?

- I am not
taking anyone's side,

But I have to say I'm not real
thrilled with your attitude.

- It's just a midterm, okay?

It's one stupid grade,
and I'm gonna pass!

God, why do you always
have to overreact?

- She's not completely wrong.

- Hello.
You must be the barones.

Have a seat.

- Oh, hi, mr. Putnam.

We were just commenting

On how neat and well-organized
your room looks.

- Thank you.

I assume you want to talk
about ally's math grade.

- Uh, yes.
Thank you for meeting with us.

I--well, we--

- I hope you're not here

To try and convince me
to change the grade.

I can't change grades.

- No, no, no.
It's not that.

- All my decisions are final.

- Uh, I understand.

No, we would like
to discuss, uh,

What she could do
to improve.

- What she could do to improve.

Well, like I tell
the other 30 kids I have

Times five classes a day,
times five days a week,

"please pay attention."

- Wow.
So many kids.

I have trouble
with just the one.

- And I don't
have to tell you

That math isn't the most
popular subject with the kids.

- I always hated it.

- Ray.

- No.
No, believe me, I understand.

They're always asking me,
you know,

"when am I
gonna need this?"

I don't know, but could you
need it just right now,

Just to get me
through the day?

Uh, would--would you like
a throat lozenge?

- Mr. Putnam, we're really gonna
crack down on her homework.

- Oh, it's not just homework.

You can't do the homework
if you don't pay attention.

You see, the thing
about math is,

Numbers are constant.

They're clear.

They're logical.

They're organized.

13-year-olds are not.

- Believe me.
I understand.

- Thank you.

I'm sure ally's
a very bright girl,

But she doesn't pay attention.

Nothing I say...

- Sinks in?
- Right.

- Yeah, everything I read
says that's teenagers.

- I used to teach
second graders.

Oh, sure, you had

The occasional peepee accident
in class, but...

They--
they were so...

- Sweet.
- Yes.

And appreciative.
- Yes.

- Mm.

- You two met before, or...

- No.
But we understand.

You know, I will have one
of those lozenges.

- Please.

- And we're gonna
work on ally.

- Well, it was nice meeting you.

I have to go.

It's parent-teacher night
at my son's school.

I hate those.

- Well,

If "x" equals lame,
that guy is 4 times "x."

- Come on.
You got to feel bad for the guy.

- What?
He's the teacher.

- So?

- Well, I'm sorry,
but this is his job,

And he gets paid good money
to do it.

- Good money?

- Plus he's got
a teacher's lounge, a gym,

The tetherball--
he's got a sweet deal here.

You know, I know
teachers like this.

He obviously doesn't
understand children.

- Oh, and you do?

- I know why ally hates math.

- Why?

- Because this guy thinks
math is the whole world,

And he takes it out
on the kids

When they hate it
like they're supposed to.

- Look, he's
a professional teacher

Who took time out of his day
to talk to us.

- Yeah, right.

You love him so much,
why don't you marry him?

- Would you just stop it?

Grow up.

- Look, all I'm saying is,
ally doesn't--

- No, ally needs to learn
that not every subject is fun.

She has to focus, and you need
to back me up on this!

- Math.

I'll give you math.

This minus this equals nothing.

- What do you want from me?

- I want you to stay
in your room and study.

That's what
I want from you.

- Fine!
- Oh, and there's no tv.

I don't want to hear any music,

And I'm keeping this phone!

- It's going well.

- You know,

Every child goes through
this rebellious phase.

I did.

One time in church choir,
we were all supposed to sing

"what a friend
we have in jesus,"

And my friend and I sang,

"what a friend we have
in cheeses."

- Seems like it was just
yesterday ally was so nice--

You know, cute little smile,
little blonde curls.

- I have blonde curls.

- Yeah, you do, ma.
You do.

- So what are you gonna do?
How you gonna handle this?

- Well, she's
basically grounded.

There's no tv,
there's no phone,

No contact
with the outside world

Until she gets
her math grade up.

- Complete lockdown, huh?
- Yup.

- You know, in the big house,
solitary can go either way.

Sometimes they come out
and they're nice and docile,

And other times, you open
the cell and...

I'd hate to see ally
go that way.

- I mean, I just felt so sorry
for mr. Putnam.

Kids have no respect today.

- I got his lozenges.

- You know, mr. Putnam
is the teacher.

He should get respect
automatically.

- You know, debra,

Now, don't take this
as a criticism.

- But brace yourself
just in case.

- You can't expect

To impose discipline

On children
who have never had any.

You have to teach them
when they're young.

That's how they learn respect.

- You deny them water.

If you're their source of water,
they respect you.

- You know, what bothers me
is that right away,

She took the teacher's side.

- Oh, ally's "f"
is the teacher's fault?

- Well, she's getting good
grades in all her other classes.

Why can't you accept
that maybe it's him?

You know, I just know
this mr. Putnam,

He's not a good teacher.

It's--it's all about him.

"math is great.
Kids are bad."

- It's not the teacher's fault.
It's ally.

- No!

No, teachers are fine,

But some teachers
can't relate to kids.

Remember that french teacher
I had in high school?

- Oh, you mean
monsieur lefevre?

- Yeah.

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

Except his real name
was mr. Lefkowitz.

That's right.

He made everybody
call him monsieur lefevre.

Terrible teacher.

- Why?

- Why, because he--
he thought he was so--

- French?

- Yeah.
Yeah, that's right.

He was a phony.

I hated him,
and he hated me.

We had to memorize
these french dialogues

From records,

And at the end of the sentence,
it would go, "beep!"

And you had to repeat
the sentence.

You know, like, uh,
"ou est sylvie?"

Beep.

"a la piscine."
beep.

So one day I go,
"monsieur lefevre!

Do french people
really beep like that?"

Yeah.
He got mad.

You know why?
'cause it got a big laugh.

- But it's not funny.

- Well, then,
why did people laugh?

- Nobody laughed.
- Yes, they did!

- You were never funny.
- You were never funny!

- How'd that class
work out for you?

- I failed!
- That's funny!

- Pulled their asses
out of two wars, the french.

What did they give us?

A disgusting way to kiss.

- Who are you
talking to, dad?

- Yeah, where was that attitude
when I needed it?

You could've defended me.

- What, and walk all the way
down to the school?

I wasn't putting on pants
for that.

- Yeah, you never
stuck up for me.

You always took
the teacher's side.

And you too, ma,
just like debra's doing now.

That's right.
Same.

- Excuse me, raymond.

I was not like debra.

I did defend you
with monsieur lefevre.

- What?
Why, what'd you do?

- I went down to that school,

And I gave that man
a piece of my mind,

Even though your behavior
in that class was deplorable

And is the reason that you and I
cannot converse in french today.

- You did that?
Well, why didn't you tell me?

- Because you should
respect teachers.

Plus, robert would've wanted me
to do it for him.

- Why wouldn't you
do it for me?

How about when
I was 13 years old,

And my basketball coach called
me "the useless giraffe"?

- You were 6'5".

You couldn't get
a couple of rebounds?

- You see that, debra?
You stick up for your kids.

- You mean, like your kid

Who's supposed to be
up in her room

Doing her math homework

And whose math notebook
is down here on the table?

Look at the scribbles on this.

"tommy and ally forever."
"I heart tommy."

"ally sanders."

- Oh, you see?
That's not even ally's notebook.

- I'm thinking
that's tommy's last name.

- Oh, my god.

Well, who's--
who's this tommy sanders?

- Must be some boy at school.

- Well, he's not
just some boy.

I think he's the boy.

- What? What? What?
What's that supposed to mean?

- Ally told me about him.

He has long brown hair,
and he's really funny,

And he's not stuck-up at all.

- Call the police.

- Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

Ally talks to you?

- Yeah, but just about this.

And I'm not any help at all.

But I think
maybe one reason

That ally's not
doing well in math

Is because
tommy's in that class.

But please don't tell her
I told you,

Because I pinky-swore.

- God, I wish she had told me.

- You know,
I have to say,

It's very upsetting that ally
would choose to talk to amy

Instead of her own grandmother.

- Excuse me.

- Uh, yes, hello?

- Hi, it's me again,
debra barone.

- Oh, yes. Hi.
Sorry. How are you?

- I'm good,
and I just wanted to follow up

On our great discussion
from yesterday.

- Oh?
- Yeah.

I think we figured out
what the problem is,

And it's nobody's fault.

It seems that ally has
a little crush

On tommy sanders,

And that's what's been
distracting her in class.

I couldn't go
to her about it,

Because she doesn't know
that I know.

She told my sister-in-law amy

Instead of me,

I guess because,
uh, amy is sweet and nice

And not judgmental,

And I'm just the mother.

Anyway, that's what's
going on with ally.

I just thought
you'd want to know.

- Oh.

Oh, can I
tell you something?

- Sure.
- I don't care.

- Excuse me?

- I don't care
what her problem is.

Your sister-in-law
isn't the only one

That knows that ally
likes tommy sanders.

Everybody knows.

Ally likes tommy,
and suzy likes tommy,

And blah-blah likes bucky,
and who-who likes bee-bee,

And none of it has anything
to do with math!

Their home lives
and their love lives

And their social lives
are not my problem.

That is my problem,
and the answer is pi.

You see?

Nobody cares about the work,

Even though that is the business
of this classroom.

- Okay, I just thought
you might be interested.

- I'm not.

I'm not.

- I understand.
I just thought it might help.

- It doesn't.

Anything else?

I have 30
distracted chatterboxes

On their way in here
to get this wrong!

If you really
want to help,

Be a parent at home,

And let me
be the teacher here.

- Okay.

I hear you.
Yup, got it.

Can I say one thing?
- Yes.

- You are mean,
and I wouldn't marry you.

- Who took my lozenges?

- So I'm all, "no way,"

And she's like,
"I would totally buy it."

- Hi.

- I was getting some water.
Is that okay?

- Uh, wait a minute.

I want to talk to you.

I saw mr. Putnam today.

- Again?
Oh, my god.

- All right, hold on a minute.

I see your point about him.

- What?

- He is a little mean.

And I think
he doesn't understand

All the stresses
that kids are under today.

And I see now it's not
just a black-and-white issue,

And I just wanted you
to know that.

- Whoa.

Thanks, mom.

- I mean, this doesn't mean
we can forget about math.

You still have to work
on your math.

- Oh.

- But I just want you
to know,

If you ever need
to talk about it

Or if there's ever
a situation other than math

That you want
to talk about,

I want you to know
that you can always talk to me.

- Okay.

- Okay.

You want a snack
or something?

- Sure.

- We have some, um,

Pretzels, potato chips,
yogurt ball things--

- Are all boys stupid?

- Yes.

Why?

- There's this boy
in my math class.

- Oh, really?

- Yeah.
Tommy sanders.

- Oh.

- Well, he told suzy
he liked me,

And I thought he did.

And then I saw him talking
to suzy like he liked her,

And now I don't know
what to do.

- Well,

Talking about it is good.

I mean, this is just
all a part of growing up.

Does he still talk to you?

- Yeah.

- Well, maybe he's talking
to suzy about you too,

Though it's hard
to tell with boys.

I have to say, they're
way more shy than we are.

- Well, maybe.

I mean, when I look at him
in class,

He does smile at me.

- See?
That's a good sign.

So maybe,
not during class

But after class,
you could talk to tommy.

And maybe you and tommy
and some of your friends

Could go out sometime.

- Wait a minute!

- Hi, ray.

- What the hell is going on
in that math class?

- After math class.

Now, tommy's a nice boy,
and ally just--

- Na-na-na-na-ba-ba-ba-bah!

You are in school
to learn, young lady, okay?

And math class
is for math, not boys,

So you're not
looking over here,

You're not looking over there.

The only boy you're looking at
is mr. Putnam.

That's right.
Okay?

So none of this boy talk.

I mean, you're 13 years old.

What's going on
in that school?

I don't now, but maybe
the principal should know.

And--and--

Hello?
Who is this?

Oh, tommy!

Yeah, you thought
you could hide in the fridge.

It makes plenty of sense.

No, she's doing
her math homework,

And I suggest you do the same.

Thank you.

Listen to your teacher!
Back me up on this!