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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,336 --> 00:00:04,169 - No, now here's the sweetest thing. 2 00:00:04,171 --> 00:00:05,704 Every night since our wedding, 3 00:00:05,706 --> 00:00:07,306 Robert gives me a little massage. 4 00:00:07,308 --> 00:00:09,208 - Oh, wow. You are so lucky. 5 00:00:09,210 --> 00:00:10,776 - Yeah. 6 00:00:10,778 --> 00:00:12,578 Although he kind of doesn't know his own strength, 7 00:00:12,580 --> 00:00:14,213 And sometimes when he squeezes, 8 00:00:14,215 --> 00:00:18,550 I feel like I'm being juiced. 9 00:00:18,552 --> 00:00:20,252 But it's very thoughtful. 10 00:00:20,254 --> 00:00:22,354 - Can't you just tell him to lighten up a little? 11 00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:23,789 - I don't have the heart. 12 00:00:23,791 --> 00:00:26,091 Plus I usually black out before I can say anything. 13 00:00:29,130 --> 00:00:30,529 - My bernie does cute things too. 14 00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:33,032 You know, like, every night he shuffles in 15 00:00:33,034 --> 00:00:34,199 In his pajamas. 16 00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:36,568 He kneels by the bed and prays. 17 00:00:36,570 --> 00:00:38,203 - Aw. 18 00:00:38,205 --> 00:00:40,672 - You know, when ray kneels by the bed, 19 00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:42,808 It's not so much praying as begging. 20 00:00:46,647 --> 00:00:51,183 No, you know what? Ray is pretty sweet himself. 21 00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:53,318 The other night, when I woke up, 22 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:55,421 He was whimpering in his sleep. 23 00:00:55,423 --> 00:00:56,722 - Really? - Yeah. 24 00:00:56,724 --> 00:00:59,691 And then he said, "choo-choo gone." 25 00:00:59,693 --> 00:01:02,261 Aww... 26 00:01:02,263 --> 00:01:05,497 - "choo-choo gone." how adorable is that? 27 00:01:05,499 --> 00:01:07,232 - You know, he woke up, and he was really embarrassed, 28 00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:09,201 But he told me he was having a dream 29 00:01:09,203 --> 00:01:11,170 That he was in the park with his mommy, 30 00:01:11,172 --> 00:01:14,339 And the kiddy train left before he got on. 31 00:01:14,341 --> 00:01:16,108 - Ohh. - I know. 32 00:01:16,110 --> 00:01:17,376 - I am such a sucker 33 00:01:17,378 --> 00:01:19,078 For that little boy thing in men. 34 00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:21,814 It's so endearing. 35 00:01:21,816 --> 00:01:25,184 - Where's marie? I lost my shoe. 36 00:01:37,397 --> 00:01:38,730 - Come on, robert. 37 00:01:38,732 --> 00:01:40,532 You didn't play that bad, all right? 38 00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:44,736 I was just awesome. 39 00:01:44,738 --> 00:01:48,574 - Thanks. You always know just what to say. 40 00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:50,142 - What are you worried about? It's not like anybody saw you. 41 00:01:50,144 --> 00:01:52,244 You were in the woods the whole time. 42 00:01:57,684 --> 00:01:59,651 - All right, so you just invited me in to insult me? 43 00:01:59,653 --> 00:02:01,553 Is that it? - Yes. 44 00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:04,890 And to offer you a mixed berry juice box. 45 00:02:04,892 --> 00:02:07,759 - Hmm. I do like mixed berry. 46 00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:10,129 - Here, I'll put the straw in for you. 47 00:02:10,131 --> 00:02:13,832 I know you won't be able to get it anywhere near the hole. 48 00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:17,169 - I can do it myself! 49 00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:21,440 Good-bye! 50 00:02:21,442 --> 00:02:23,642 - Why are you being such a baby? 51 00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:24,910 - Baby? - Yeah. 52 00:02:24,912 --> 00:02:27,279 - I'm a baby? 53 00:02:27,281 --> 00:02:30,849 Baby knows three words, "choo-choo gone." 54 00:02:35,755 --> 00:02:38,390 - What? 55 00:02:38,392 --> 00:02:41,160 - Nothing. 56 00:02:41,162 --> 00:02:42,261 Ahh! 57 00:02:51,371 --> 00:02:53,172 - Hey. How was your golf? 58 00:02:53,174 --> 00:02:55,474 - W-w-what'd you do? You told robert my dream? 59 00:02:55,476 --> 00:02:56,742 - What? 60 00:02:56,744 --> 00:02:59,244 - My train dream. "choo-choo gone." 61 00:02:59,246 --> 00:03:00,946 - No, I didn't tell robert that. 62 00:03:00,948 --> 00:03:02,614 Oh, amy. 63 00:03:02,616 --> 00:03:04,883 - You told amy? 64 00:03:04,885 --> 00:03:07,619 - Well, you know, I just thought it was sweet, and so did she. 65 00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:09,321 And I didn't think she would tell robert. 66 00:03:09,323 --> 00:03:10,956 - No, it's not sweet. It's personal. 67 00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:12,491 - I'm sorry, I'll tell amy 68 00:03:12,493 --> 00:03:14,193 To keep those kind of things between us. 69 00:03:14,195 --> 00:03:15,928 - Wha-- no! No! 70 00:03:15,930 --> 00:03:18,530 How 'bout you just keep them between us? 71 00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:21,833 Wait a minute, what things? She knows other of my things? 72 00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:24,836 - Ray, just calm down. 73 00:03:24,838 --> 00:03:26,471 - What else does she know? Huh? 74 00:03:26,473 --> 00:03:27,906 Does she know you saw me that time, 75 00:03:27,908 --> 00:03:31,610 Shaving with your pink lady razor? 76 00:03:31,612 --> 00:03:33,212 - I don't know. 77 00:03:33,214 --> 00:03:34,379 - Come on, come on, think. Did you tell her? 78 00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:35,714 - Ray, this is crazy. 79 00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:37,649 What, do you expect me to remember 80 00:03:37,651 --> 00:03:40,652 Everything I've ever told amy about you over the years? 81 00:03:40,654 --> 00:03:43,555 - Years? 82 00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:45,857 You've been doing this to me for years? 83 00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:48,560 - Okay, I realize you're upset, 84 00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:50,362 And I will try to be more sensitive, 85 00:03:50,364 --> 00:03:52,764 But I do talk to amy about my life. 86 00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:55,734 And I'm sorry, but you happen to be a big part of my life. 87 00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:58,303 - Well, I'm sorry you and the other hens 88 00:03:58,305 --> 00:03:59,738 Don't have anything better to do 89 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,540 Than to--than to cluck around the henhouse 90 00:04:01,542 --> 00:04:04,710 Like a gaggle of cluckety-clucking hens! 91 00:04:07,847 --> 00:04:09,348 - We're not clucking, ray. 92 00:04:09,350 --> 00:04:12,317 We're sharing our feelings. 93 00:04:12,319 --> 00:04:13,819 - Oh, my god. 94 00:04:13,821 --> 00:04:18,290 You tell her about our sex! 95 00:04:18,292 --> 00:04:21,460 - Look, ray, listen. I don't... 96 00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:22,661 She's my best friend. 97 00:04:22,663 --> 00:04:24,730 - Dump her! 98 00:04:24,732 --> 00:04:26,365 - What? - You have to dump her. 99 00:04:26,367 --> 00:04:28,500 She knows too much, thanks to your gossip. 100 00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:32,704 Yes, that's right. You're a gossip. 101 00:04:35,575 --> 00:04:36,942 - What are you doing? 102 00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:38,644 - I'm going upstairs to take a shower, 103 00:04:38,646 --> 00:04:40,879 And I would rather amy didn't know what I wash 104 00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:43,949 Or how long I wash it! 105 00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:53,992 - hey. 106 00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:55,560 Oh, game's already on? 107 00:04:55,562 --> 00:04:58,830 - Yeah, yeah, it just started. 108 00:04:58,832 --> 00:05:00,666 - Uh, say there, dad, 109 00:05:00,668 --> 00:05:04,069 How 'bout passing me some of those tasty chips? 110 00:05:04,071 --> 00:05:07,072 - Why, certainly, son. Here you go. 111 00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:20,319 - Hey, animals, can you at least eat with your mouth shut? 112 00:05:20,321 --> 00:05:22,354 - Oh, I'm sorry. What's the matter? 113 00:05:22,356 --> 00:05:25,824 Don't you like the way we choo-choo? 114 00:05:32,065 --> 00:05:35,367 - Choo-choo. Choo-choo gone! 115 00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:38,603 We got him totally worked. 116 00:05:38,605 --> 00:05:40,806 - Yeah, ha-ha. Very funny. 117 00:05:40,808 --> 00:05:42,407 Yeah, you wouldn't be laughing 118 00:05:42,409 --> 00:05:44,343 If you knew what the dream was really about. 119 00:05:44,345 --> 00:05:45,844 - Yeah, right. - Trust me. 120 00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:47,946 I didn't tell debra the exact truth. 121 00:05:47,948 --> 00:05:50,782 - Oh, yeah? - What was it? 122 00:05:50,784 --> 00:05:52,851 - Okay. All right. 123 00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:56,355 Remember ellen chulesky from high school? 124 00:05:56,357 --> 00:05:58,090 - Oh, yeah. 125 00:05:58,092 --> 00:06:01,426 She was a woman among girls. - Yeah. 126 00:06:01,428 --> 00:06:02,828 Well, in my class, 127 00:06:02,830 --> 00:06:06,465 We used to call her choo-choo chulesky. 128 00:06:06,467 --> 00:06:09,501 So anyway, in the dream, it was no kiddy train. 129 00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:13,572 It was just me and choo-choo. 130 00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:18,577 All aboard! 131 00:06:18,579 --> 00:06:21,380 Ooh. 132 00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:23,749 - So then what does "choo-choo gone" mean? 133 00:06:23,751 --> 00:06:26,451 - Well, she had her way with me and left. 134 00:06:26,453 --> 00:06:29,521 So "choo-choo" was gone. 135 00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:31,957 Anyway, then I had to make up the whole train thing 136 00:06:31,959 --> 00:06:33,158 'cause the wife was there. 137 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:37,596 - Ah, they're always there. 138 00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:39,498 - I didn't know debra was going to go blabbing it. 139 00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:40,966 I don't get it. 140 00:06:40,968 --> 00:06:42,434 She has nothing better to do 141 00:06:42,436 --> 00:06:44,870 Than to talk about my personal life? 142 00:06:44,872 --> 00:06:47,439 - Raymond, raymond, raymond. 143 00:06:47,441 --> 00:06:50,142 See, that just shows the surprising naivete 144 00:06:50,144 --> 00:06:51,410 On your part. 145 00:06:51,412 --> 00:06:52,778 For, you see, 146 00:06:52,780 --> 00:06:54,913 It is always the nature of the female 147 00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:58,016 To gather with other females-- 148 00:06:58,018 --> 00:07:03,789 - And screech like a tree full of chinese monkeys. 149 00:07:03,791 --> 00:07:05,991 - Yeah, well... 150 00:07:05,993 --> 00:07:07,626 I don't do it to her. 151 00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:09,060 I don't go around telling everybody 152 00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:11,163 That debra burps all the time. 153 00:07:11,165 --> 00:07:13,532 - Debra burps? 154 00:07:13,534 --> 00:07:16,802 - Yeah, sometimes she gets a nervous stomach. 155 00:07:16,804 --> 00:07:20,105 It rocks the house. 156 00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:22,441 - Really? Little debra? 157 00:07:22,443 --> 00:07:23,809 - Oh, yeah. 158 00:07:23,811 --> 00:07:26,745 One time, I saw her burp a door open. 159 00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:33,485 - Hey. Hey. 160 00:07:33,487 --> 00:07:35,020 You know what amy does? 161 00:07:35,022 --> 00:07:36,054 - What? 162 00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:39,691 - Okay. 163 00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:42,861 Sometimes when she laughs... 164 00:07:42,863 --> 00:07:46,131 She pees a little. 165 00:07:50,837 --> 00:07:52,537 - What do you--? 166 00:07:52,539 --> 00:07:55,707 You mean, she pees when she laughs? 167 00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:57,075 Yeah, well, a chuckle won't do it, 168 00:07:57,077 --> 00:07:58,643 But if you really crack her up, 169 00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:00,912 You might want to put some papers down. 170 00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:03,815 - Oh, man! 171 00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,250 Our wives are disgusting. 172 00:08:05,252 --> 00:08:06,651 - Yeah. 173 00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:08,153 - Aw, they all got their secrets. 174 00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:09,521 Do you want to know a good one about your mother? 175 00:08:09,523 --> 00:08:11,723 No, no, no. 176 00:08:11,725 --> 00:08:13,258 - Don't want to hear it. 177 00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:17,529 - You know your mother's famous homemade marinara sauce? 178 00:08:17,531 --> 00:08:19,097 On more than one occasion... 179 00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:21,700 store-bought. 180 00:08:21,702 --> 00:08:24,236 - No! - No! No way! 181 00:08:24,238 --> 00:08:26,204 Uh-uh. - Yes. When she's in a rush, 182 00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:30,809 Out of the jar, my friends. 183 00:08:30,811 --> 00:08:32,210 - This is huge! 184 00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:34,946 - Oh, man! 185 00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:37,916 So it's homemade if you live in aisle six at waldbaum's. 186 00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:39,217 - Yeah, there you go. 187 00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:41,786 Hey, look, you know what else amy does? 188 00:08:41,788 --> 00:08:44,122 - Hang on, let me turn this thing off. 189 00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:45,590 - You know what? 190 00:08:45,592 --> 00:08:48,994 I'm going to make us a pot of coffee. 191 00:08:48,996 --> 00:08:52,030 - This is great. 192 00:09:04,844 --> 00:09:06,678 - Listen, ray, you know, I've been thinking a lot 193 00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:08,580 About what you said yesterday, 194 00:09:08,582 --> 00:09:10,715 And I really am sorry. 195 00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:12,284 I think you have a good point. 196 00:09:12,286 --> 00:09:15,654 Some things are private and should just stay that way. 197 00:09:15,656 --> 00:09:17,088 - Thank you. 198 00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:18,957 Apology accepted. - Okay. 199 00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:21,960 Good night. - Night. 200 00:09:29,302 --> 00:09:32,304 Guess who pees when she laughs. 201 00:09:34,674 --> 00:09:39,678 - Got to tell you, that's your worst come-on line ever. 202 00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:41,346 - I'll give you a clue. 203 00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:44,783 First letter, "a," last letter, "y," 204 00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:46,885 And don't ask me the middle letter, 205 00:09:46,887 --> 00:09:50,755 Because I "m" not going to tell you. 206 00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:51,990 - No. - It's amy. 207 00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:54,192 she does? 208 00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:56,828 - Robert said that if you get her laughing hard enough, 209 00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:59,364 80% chance of flash flooding. 210 00:10:01,834 --> 00:10:04,302 - We have been friends for years. 211 00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:05,804 Why didn't I know that? 212 00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:09,874 - Maybe you're not funny. 213 00:10:09,876 --> 00:10:11,676 - So wait a minute. 214 00:10:11,678 --> 00:10:13,878 You and robert were gossiping? 215 00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:15,380 - Yeah, and my father too. 216 00:10:15,382 --> 00:10:17,248 You want to know something about my mother? 217 00:10:23,990 --> 00:10:25,390 Look at you. 218 00:10:25,392 --> 00:10:27,392 I've never seen you this excited in bed. 219 00:10:30,863 --> 00:10:33,298 - Shut up and tell me about your mother. 220 00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:34,833 - Okay. 221 00:10:34,835 --> 00:10:37,302 You know her, uh, famous homemade sauce? 222 00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:38,837 - Yeah? 223 00:10:38,839 --> 00:10:40,405 - You want to know the secret ingredient? 224 00:10:40,407 --> 00:10:42,073 - Okay. 225 00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:44,075 - Gasoline... 226 00:10:44,077 --> 00:10:47,779 Which she puts in her car to drive to waldbaum's 227 00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:51,383 To go to aisle six to pick up a jar of ragu! 228 00:10:51,385 --> 00:10:52,417 - No way! 229 00:10:52,419 --> 00:10:53,685 - Yeah! 230 00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:57,389 Wow! 231 00:10:57,391 --> 00:10:59,424 - Hon, look... 232 00:10:59,426 --> 00:11:02,694 I know it's a little early, but happy anniversary. 233 00:11:07,701 --> 00:11:09,401 Oh, so your mother's a cheater. 234 00:11:09,403 --> 00:11:11,169 - Mm-hmm, yeah, she sure is. 235 00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:13,338 - Wait a minute. 236 00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:15,707 If that's what those guys were saying about their wives, 237 00:11:15,709 --> 00:11:19,177 What did you say about me? 238 00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:21,212 - Nothing, I just... 239 00:11:21,214 --> 00:11:24,749 I-I told them that when you sleep, 240 00:11:24,751 --> 00:11:29,020 Sometimes you wiggle your nose like a little bunny. 241 00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:31,289 - I do that? - Yeah, yeah. 242 00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:33,124 Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm. 243 00:11:33,126 --> 00:11:34,826 Yeah, it's cuter on you though. 244 00:11:34,828 --> 00:11:37,028 - Oh...I can't believe you told them that. 245 00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:38,763 - Yeah. - What did they say? 246 00:11:38,765 --> 00:11:42,133 - They...I think they said, "aww." 247 00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:44,769 Aww! 248 00:11:44,771 --> 00:11:46,838 - Yeah. It was cute. 249 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:49,841 - Ooh! 250 00:11:50,976 --> 00:11:52,444 - You sure? 251 00:11:52,446 --> 00:11:54,713 - I'm telling you, for apple pie, 21 seconds. 252 00:11:54,715 --> 00:11:55,814 You'll be very happy. 253 00:12:19,205 --> 00:12:21,306 - What's going on? 254 00:12:21,308 --> 00:12:24,109 - Just...Heating up pie. 255 00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:29,214 - I'll have some, but wash your hands first. 256 00:12:32,485 --> 00:12:34,185 - What's up with you? 257 00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:36,287 - You guys got to get your wives out of my house. 258 00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:39,190 They're over there looking at furniture catalogs. 259 00:12:39,192 --> 00:12:40,792 I told marie, "at your age, 260 00:12:40,794 --> 00:12:41,993 "you shouldn't be looking at any furniture 261 00:12:41,995 --> 00:12:45,130 Unless it has a lid." 262 00:12:52,838 --> 00:12:55,240 - Choo-choo chulesky? 263 00:12:55,242 --> 00:12:57,308 - What? 264 00:12:57,310 --> 00:13:00,345 - Who is choo-choo chulesky? 265 00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:04,282 - Ray, you better get back into your microwave position. 266 00:13:08,487 --> 00:13:11,523 - Look, debra... It's not what you think. 267 00:13:11,525 --> 00:13:13,158 - Oh, I think you were dreaming about another woman, 268 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:15,193 And you told me a choo-choo train story. 269 00:13:15,195 --> 00:13:16,995 - No... 270 00:13:16,997 --> 00:13:19,864 You couldn't keep your giant mouth shut, could you? 271 00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:24,369 - I didn't say anything, robert, I swear. 272 00:13:24,371 --> 00:13:27,138 - Well, someone opened their giant mouth. 273 00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:30,475 - I did. 274 00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:33,511 - Well, I'm sure you had your reasons. 275 00:13:36,582 --> 00:13:38,249 - Mom? 276 00:13:38,251 --> 00:13:41,820 - Your father told me about your little fantasy, 277 00:13:41,822 --> 00:13:44,489 And I felt I'd be remiss if I didn't tell debra 278 00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:47,826 That her marriage was in peril. 279 00:13:49,128 --> 00:13:50,562 - Dad, why would you tell mom? 280 00:13:50,564 --> 00:13:52,931 - I was proud of you. 281 00:13:52,933 --> 00:13:55,500 You dream like a man. 282 00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:56,968 - Yeah, well, that's great, ray. 283 00:13:56,970 --> 00:13:58,102 I'm going around telling everybody 284 00:13:58,104 --> 00:13:59,537 What a sweet little boy you are, 285 00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:00,972 And you're dreaming about another woman. 286 00:14:00,974 --> 00:14:02,373 Thanks a lot, ray. 287 00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:03,942 Thanks for making me look like a total jerk! 288 00:14:03,944 --> 00:14:07,478 - Wait, I made it up, I made it up! 289 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:11,149 Choo-choo really was a train. 290 00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:14,152 - So what are you saying? You lied to them? 291 00:14:14,154 --> 00:14:18,323 - And here I was finally proud of you. 292 00:14:18,325 --> 00:14:20,158 - You are unbelievable, ray. 293 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:22,227 - No, you know what? You're unbelievable. 294 00:14:22,229 --> 00:14:23,628 You took something that was private, 295 00:14:23,630 --> 00:14:25,530 And you blabbed it all over town! 296 00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:27,165 - Oh, yeah? Well, you were 297 00:14:27,167 --> 00:14:28,600 A pretty good blabbermouth yourself last night. 298 00:14:28,602 --> 00:14:31,135 "hey, guess who pees when she laughs." 299 00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:42,046 - Guess who was right there with me, laughing it up. 300 00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:44,616 "oh! Amy pees! Ha-ha, that's so funny!" 301 00:14:44,618 --> 00:14:47,986 Yeah. 302 00:14:50,456 --> 00:14:53,458 - Robert. 303 00:14:56,428 --> 00:14:59,130 - I love you. 304 00:14:59,132 --> 00:15:00,465 Amy. Amy. 305 00:15:00,467 --> 00:15:01,633 Amy, listen, I'm sorry. 306 00:15:01,635 --> 00:15:05,370 Sweetie, come on, look at me. 307 00:15:05,372 --> 00:15:08,439 We were all talking. Everyone was doing it! 308 00:15:11,310 --> 00:15:12,977 Debra belches like a truck driver, 309 00:15:12,979 --> 00:15:15,213 And ma uses ragu! 310 00:15:15,215 --> 00:15:18,049 - Frank! 311 00:15:18,051 --> 00:15:19,584 - Ray! 312 00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:22,053 That's what you told them about me, that I burp? 313 00:15:22,055 --> 00:15:24,022 You just made up that cute little nose thing? 314 00:15:24,024 --> 00:15:25,590 - I didn't make it up. Look, there it is. There it is. 315 00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:27,225 Ow! 316 00:15:27,227 --> 00:15:28,593 - Oh, all right! All right! 317 00:15:28,595 --> 00:15:30,929 A lot of things have been said, 318 00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:32,530 And I have no problem facing the truth, 319 00:15:32,532 --> 00:15:36,234 However painful it might be. 320 00:15:36,236 --> 00:15:38,503 Now, about my sauce, 321 00:15:38,505 --> 00:15:41,239 Frank, tell them you're a liar. 322 00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:47,478 - What? 323 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:50,014 - Do you ever want to eat again? 324 00:15:50,016 --> 00:15:52,050 - I lied. 325 00:15:52,052 --> 00:15:54,686 I'm a crazy old man who lies. 326 00:15:58,991 --> 00:16:00,358 - Good. 327 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,460 And I'm glad that you could admit that. 328 00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:05,096 And you should all know better than to engage in idle gossip. 329 00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:06,397 - What are you talking about? 330 00:16:06,399 --> 00:16:07,465 You're the one who blabbed it to debra 331 00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:08,599 About choo-choo chulesky. 332 00:16:08,601 --> 00:16:10,134 - I do not blab! 333 00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:14,472 What I do comes from love. 334 00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:15,740 And if you want to know the truth, 335 00:16:15,742 --> 00:16:17,542 Debra is the worst gossip of us all. 336 00:16:17,544 --> 00:16:19,544 - Me? You're the one who once told me 337 00:16:19,546 --> 00:16:22,146 That frank came to bed with a toupee on for you. 338 00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:26,451 - What? 339 00:16:26,453 --> 00:16:28,720 - This is an outrage, marie. 340 00:16:28,722 --> 00:16:32,123 That was a hat I found on the street. 341 00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:33,558 - Oh, really? 342 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:37,161 And what about what debra told amy last July? 343 00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:38,396 - What? 344 00:16:38,398 --> 00:16:40,465 - Debra told amy that raymond thought 345 00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:42,066 That amy and robert's marriage 346 00:16:42,068 --> 00:16:43,601 Didn't have a chance in hell. 347 00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:45,370 - Marie, who told you that? 348 00:16:45,372 --> 00:16:47,238 - Marie, I told you that in confidence! 349 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:49,240 - Amy, how could you tell marie that I said that? 350 00:16:49,242 --> 00:16:51,075 - Debra, how could you tell amy what I told you? 351 00:16:51,077 --> 00:16:54,645 - My marriage doesn't have a chance in hell? 352 00:17:07,259 --> 00:17:11,796 Excuse me. 353 00:17:11,798 --> 00:17:13,464 - I didn't say your marriage 354 00:17:13,466 --> 00:17:16,334 Doesn't have a chance in hell... 355 00:17:16,336 --> 00:17:20,204 The way that sounds. 356 00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:21,672 All right, look. 357 00:17:21,674 --> 00:17:23,608 There are certain things that a man says to his wife 358 00:17:23,610 --> 00:17:25,576 When he's just trying to, I don't know, 359 00:17:25,578 --> 00:17:28,613 Fill the silence. 360 00:17:30,516 --> 00:17:33,351 - Oh... Now I understand. 361 00:17:33,353 --> 00:17:36,154 You're a hateful jerk-face. 362 00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:38,456 And what I mean by that is, 363 00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:42,060 You're hateful, and you're a jerk-face. 364 00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:43,661 - Why did you have to tell amy that? 365 00:17:43,663 --> 00:17:46,431 - I was just talking to amy about the stupid things men say. 366 00:17:46,433 --> 00:17:48,132 We all do it. 367 00:17:48,134 --> 00:17:50,101 Amy knew what I meant. She was okay with it. 368 00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:51,469 You were okay with it, right? 369 00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:53,738 - Actually, I was pretty upset. 370 00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:58,242 - That's why she came to me. 371 00:17:58,244 --> 00:17:59,610 - Okay, see? She was upset. 372 00:17:59,612 --> 00:18:01,145 - Yeah, but you're the one who said it. 373 00:18:01,147 --> 00:18:02,780 - Yeah, b-- 374 00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:05,483 Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute. 375 00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:07,085 You've been walking around, 376 00:18:07,087 --> 00:18:08,453 Secretly thinking I'm a hateful jerk-face 377 00:18:08,455 --> 00:18:10,755 But still acting all fake nice to me? 378 00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:14,559 - I haven't been that nice. 379 00:18:14,561 --> 00:18:16,127 A few months ago, you got a haircut, 380 00:18:16,129 --> 00:18:17,728 And everybody said, "nice haircut, ray," 381 00:18:17,730 --> 00:18:20,798 But I didn't. 382 00:18:23,135 --> 00:18:24,335 - How could you do that to me? 383 00:18:24,337 --> 00:18:25,436 I mean, that's terrible. 384 00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:27,205 - You hurt my feelings. 385 00:18:27,207 --> 00:18:29,440 - Still, you think somebody's a hateful jerk-face, 386 00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:30,741 You got to tell 'em. 387 00:18:30,743 --> 00:18:32,243 I have feelings too. 388 00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:35,113 - Hateful jerk-face. Feel better? 389 00:18:35,115 --> 00:18:37,548 - You see? You made me a hateful jerk-face. 390 00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:39,283 - You know, amy, ray's right. 391 00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:40,785 How am I supposed to know I upset you if you don't 392 00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:42,420 Say anything to me? I mean, come on. 393 00:18:42,422 --> 00:18:43,888 I'm supposed to be your best friend. 394 00:18:43,890 --> 00:18:46,524 - What about me? I'm supposed to be her husband! 395 00:18:46,526 --> 00:18:47,825 I'm your husband! 396 00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:49,393 Don't you know, after all these years, 397 00:18:49,395 --> 00:18:51,596 To tell me immediately when raymond screws up? 398 00:18:51,598 --> 00:18:56,834 You page me at work! 399 00:18:56,836 --> 00:18:59,203 - I must say, amy, before you came into the family, 400 00:18:59,205 --> 00:19:00,838 We were all just open with each other. 401 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:04,242 We'd say whatever was on our mind. 402 00:19:04,244 --> 00:19:05,576 And now... 403 00:19:05,578 --> 00:19:08,679 We have to tiptoe around your feelings. 404 00:19:08,681 --> 00:19:12,450 - It's not fair, amy. 405 00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:15,887 - Yeah, amy, see what you did? 406 00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:22,860 - Ah, jeez. There she goes again. 407 00:19:25,931 --> 00:19:29,300 - Robert, get in there. 408 00:19:31,603 --> 00:19:33,804 - I don't know what I did wrong. 409 00:19:33,806 --> 00:19:35,640 I was brought up to be nice. 410 00:19:35,642 --> 00:19:38,910 I never say anything bad about anybody. 411 00:19:38,912 --> 00:19:42,413 What do you people want? 412 00:19:42,415 --> 00:19:45,416 All I ever wanted to do was to fit into this family. 413 00:19:48,253 --> 00:19:49,620 - Oh, honey. 414 00:19:49,622 --> 00:19:52,190 You do fit in. 415 00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:56,761 - I hate to say it, amy, but you do. 416 00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:57,895 - Yeah, I'm sorry about all that stuff 417 00:19:57,897 --> 00:19:59,397 I said about you and robert. 418 00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:02,433 You definitely have a chance in hell. 419 00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:03,634 - Thank you, ray. 420 00:20:03,636 --> 00:20:05,269 And that was a nice haircut. 421 00:20:05,271 --> 00:20:08,573 - Thanks. I switched barbers. 422 00:20:08,575 --> 00:20:10,841 - Aw, you see, amy? 423 00:20:10,843 --> 00:20:13,444 You do have a place in our family, 424 00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:16,847 And we will always have a place for you. 425 00:20:16,849 --> 00:20:20,785 - Here you go, sweetie. 426 00:20:25,724 --> 00:20:29,260 - Robert, I have to speak up. 427 00:20:29,262 --> 00:20:32,363 You're killing me. 428 00:20:36,768 --> 00:20:39,804 - Women. They're never satisfied. 429 00:20:48,447 --> 00:20:50,014 - Ah. 430 00:20:50,016 --> 00:20:52,316 - Are you ready? 431 00:20:52,318 --> 00:20:53,551 Oh, frank, come on! 432 00:20:53,553 --> 00:20:54,986 No, don't turn around now. 433 00:20:54,988 --> 00:20:57,588 It's not embarrassing. It's funny. 30350

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