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1
00:00:01,284 --> 00:00:03,112
I don't wanna interrupt anyone's work,
2
00:00:03,155 --> 00:00:05,810
but Jin just told me
that he'll be leaving Payne,
3
00:00:05,854 --> 00:00:08,465
and he asked to share
just a few quick, quick words.
4
00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:10,467
- Hello, all. I'm Jin.
- Yeah.
5
00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:11,729
They know that. They know that.
6
00:00:11,773 --> 00:00:13,514
Payne's Chief Financial Officer.
7
00:00:13,557 --> 00:00:15,820
It was 40 years ago that I started
8
00:00:15,864 --> 00:00:18,040
- my first job in finance.
- Mm.
9
00:00:18,083 --> 00:00:20,999
You might be thinking
I look rather young for that.
10
00:00:21,043 --> 00:00:23,524
You're right. I was eight years old.
11
00:00:23,567 --> 00:00:24,612
Great. Well, we can probably
12
00:00:24,655 --> 00:00:25,874
fast forward through a couple decades.
13
00:00:25,917 --> 00:00:28,093
When my parents immigrated
to this country,
14
00:00:28,137 --> 00:00:29,138
they used to have me
15
00:00:29,181 --> 00:00:30,966
do the bookkeeping for their store.
16
00:00:31,009 --> 00:00:34,360
So from early on,
I learned to work with family.
17
00:00:34,404 --> 00:00:38,364
And I still do because
you are all my family too.
18
00:00:38,408 --> 00:00:39,888
All: Aw!
19
00:00:39,931 --> 00:00:42,194
But now I'm leaving my job family
20
00:00:42,238 --> 00:00:45,023
to spend more time
with my non-job family.
21
00:00:45,067 --> 00:00:47,852
By which I mean my actual
family who I'm related to.
22
00:00:47,896 --> 00:00:49,114
Wow. Well, thank you, Jin.
23
00:00:49,158 --> 00:00:50,638
- But I'll miss you.
- We wish you...
24
00:00:50,681 --> 00:00:53,771
I'll miss you all. Going forward...
25
00:00:53,815 --> 00:00:56,034
♪ Bom bom bom-bom-bom-bom-bom ♪
26
00:00:56,078 --> 00:00:58,297
♪ Buh buh bom-bom-bom
buh bom-bom-bom-bom ♪
27
00:00:58,341 --> 00:01:01,126
[chorus vocalizing]
28
00:01:01,170 --> 00:01:02,911
I call dibs on his corner office.
29
00:01:02,954 --> 00:01:05,130
Oh, if you move into his
office, maybe I can take yours.
30
00:01:05,174 --> 00:01:08,046
Oh, so you want to move into
the office that just so happens
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00:01:08,090 --> 00:01:09,874
to be right next door to Sadie's office?
32
00:01:09,918 --> 00:01:11,605
That's just where his office his is.
33
00:01:11,630 --> 00:01:13,312
Ooh, I bet they're gonna
knock on the wall like once
34
00:01:13,356 --> 00:01:15,706
for "I love you,"
twice for "I miss you."
35
00:01:15,750 --> 00:01:17,229
Yeah, or like,
36
00:01:17,273 --> 00:01:18,753
maybe there's like a crack in the wall.
37
00:01:18,796 --> 00:01:20,232
Oh, exactly, and he's gonna like,
38
00:01:20,276 --> 00:01:22,713
"Oh, Sadie, back up
against the crack in the wall."
39
00:01:22,757 --> 00:01:24,062
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Like this, Jack?
40
00:01:24,106 --> 00:01:25,455
- Oh. Oh, just like that.
- Oh, my God.
41
00:01:25,498 --> 00:01:27,326
No, I just meant like
a crack they talk through
42
00:01:27,370 --> 00:01:28,676
like... like Pyramus and Thisbe.
43
00:01:28,719 --> 00:01:30,373
I'm not sure that this is the audience
44
00:01:30,416 --> 00:01:32,897
or high-brow Greek mythology references.
45
00:01:32,941 --> 00:01:34,595
- Sadie, it feels so good.
- It does, it does.
46
00:01:34,638 --> 00:01:36,509
- It feels so good.
- Ooh!
47
00:01:36,553 --> 00:01:38,076
So how do you want to handle
48
00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:40,196
the press release about Jin leaving?
49
00:01:40,221 --> 00:01:41,577
Ah, I don't know.
50
00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:42,907
"Jin is leaving. How will we go on?
51
00:01:42,951 --> 00:01:44,343
"He'll always live within our hearts
52
00:01:44,387 --> 00:01:45,910
and in the sound of
every baby's laughter."
53
00:01:45,954 --> 00:01:48,086
You know, standard boilerplate.
54
00:01:48,130 --> 00:01:50,175
We... we just want to make sure
it doesn't look to Wall Street
55
00:01:50,219 --> 00:01:52,656
or the board that people
are jumping ship here.
56
00:01:52,700 --> 00:01:54,745
- It's one guy.
- It's not, though.
57
00:01:54,789 --> 00:01:58,749
Our rate of attrition has gone
up, actually, ever since, um...
58
00:01:58,793 --> 00:02:01,099
- Ever since?
- Ever since you started.
59
00:02:01,143 --> 00:02:04,407
We also lost three members of
upper management last quarter.
60
00:02:04,450 --> 00:02:06,714
How much more is that than average?
61
00:02:06,757 --> 00:02:10,108
It's about three...
Three more than average.
62
00:02:10,152 --> 00:02:12,154
- Oh, that's a lot.
- Mm-hmm.
63
00:02:12,197 --> 00:02:14,722
Oh, Sadie. I've never tried
this before, but I trust you.
64
00:02:14,765 --> 00:02:16,462
Like watching myself in the mirror.
65
00:02:16,506 --> 00:02:18,943
- What's going on?
- Oh, Elliot was joking
66
00:02:18,987 --> 00:02:20,902
about Jack and Sadie
[bleep] through a gloryhole.
67
00:02:20,945 --> 00:02:22,381
- Wha...
- Seriously?
68
00:02:22,425 --> 00:02:23,930
That's not even close to being true.
69
00:02:23,955 --> 00:02:25,602
Look, I'm not a prude.
I kinda want to hear the joke.
70
00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:27,778
But let's not do that
kind of stuff in front of...
71
00:02:27,822 --> 00:02:29,388
Maybe that's why so many people
72
00:02:29,432 --> 00:02:31,260
around here lately have been quitting.
73
00:02:31,303 --> 00:02:33,566
No one's quitting their job
over an awesome sex joke.
74
00:02:33,610 --> 00:02:35,873
What is it then? Have people
been complaining about me?
75
00:02:35,917 --> 00:02:37,570
Not to me. Certainly.
76
00:02:37,614 --> 00:02:39,094
But you know, everyone
around here knows that I...
77
00:02:39,137 --> 00:02:40,835
You know, I'm true blue Team Katherine.
78
00:02:40,878 --> 00:02:42,706
- Ugh!
- Get your hand out of her ass.
79
00:02:42,750 --> 00:02:44,316
Look, I don't take it personally.
80
00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:46,971
I just need to know what the
issues are so I can fix them.
81
00:02:47,015 --> 00:02:48,712
We could send out employee surveys.
82
00:02:48,756 --> 00:02:50,105
No one's ever really honest in those.
83
00:02:50,148 --> 00:02:51,410
They assume they're not anonymous.
84
00:02:51,454 --> 00:02:53,681
- Well, are they?
- Oh, no, they're not.
85
00:02:53,706 --> 00:02:55,066
We could read employee emails,
86
00:02:55,110 --> 00:02:56,851
see what they're saying
about us behind our backs.
87
00:02:56,894 --> 00:02:57,925
Wait, can we do that?
88
00:02:57,950 --> 00:02:59,723
Read employee emails
on an employee server?
89
00:02:59,767 --> 00:03:00,898
- Yeah.
- Yeah, absolutely.
90
00:03:00,942 --> 00:03:02,813
- We can do that.
- Great.
91
00:03:02,857 --> 00:03:04,206
Some boundaries are there for a reason.
92
00:03:04,249 --> 00:03:05,555
No, no, just to be clear,
I'm not gonna read
93
00:03:05,598 --> 00:03:06,730
any of your emails, okay?
94
00:03:06,774 --> 00:03:08,340
- You can all be exempt.
- Oh.
95
00:03:08,384 --> 00:03:09,733
Rules were meant to be broken.
96
00:03:09,777 --> 00:03:10,995
Let's log on right now.
97
00:03:11,039 --> 00:03:12,344
Okay, nice principles, everybody.
98
00:03:12,388 --> 00:03:15,086
Jack, you go with Elliot. Each
of you should check on the other.
99
00:03:15,130 --> 00:03:17,480
And no reading any of
our emails, all right?
100
00:03:17,523 --> 00:03:18,742
Sadie, talk to Jin.
101
00:03:18,786 --> 00:03:20,265
See if you can stop him from leaving.
102
00:03:20,309 --> 00:03:22,485
Oh, wouldn't that be more
convincing coming from you?
103
00:03:22,528 --> 00:03:24,705
Oh, no, he's pretty
intimidated by strong women.
104
00:03:24,748 --> 00:03:27,359
I think it'd be better coming from you.
105
00:03:27,403 --> 00:03:28,839
That's nice.
106
00:03:28,883 --> 00:03:30,928
So the admin search bar is here.
107
00:03:30,972 --> 00:03:32,103
And if you want to
search for two things,
108
00:03:32,147 --> 00:03:33,365
you can use the "and" function.
109
00:03:33,409 --> 00:03:36,238
Oh, yes, the Boolean operators.
110
00:03:36,281 --> 00:03:38,196
Yeah, I know a little
bit about computers.
111
00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:40,024
I built the website for my wedding.
112
00:03:40,068 --> 00:03:41,852
Yeah, we're divorced now,
but um, you know,
113
00:03:41,896 --> 00:03:43,593
the website's still up.
114
00:03:43,636 --> 00:03:45,247
So what do we search for?
115
00:03:45,290 --> 00:03:47,488
I mean, people don't write
things like "my morale is low."
116
00:03:47,513 --> 00:03:49,520
We could search for "Hate my life.
117
00:03:49,555 --> 00:03:52,645
"Hate my job. Hate this place.
This place sucks [bleep].
118
00:03:52,689 --> 00:03:55,083
"My boss sucks [bleep].
My boss sucks my [bleep].
119
00:03:55,126 --> 00:03:57,781
"My boss is a dick.
[bleep] this place.
120
00:03:57,825 --> 00:04:00,887
[bleep] everyone."
That kind of thing.
121
00:04:02,830 --> 00:04:04,570
Yeah, let's... let's start with those.
122
00:04:04,614 --> 00:04:05,621
Jin!
123
00:04:05,646 --> 00:04:08,026
What the... mister, I'm mad at you.
124
00:04:08,051 --> 00:04:09,227
What did I do?
125
00:04:09,271 --> 00:04:11,360
No, I mean, how could you leave us?
126
00:04:11,403 --> 00:04:14,406
Mister? Not cool. I'm gonna miss you.
127
00:04:14,450 --> 00:04:18,193
- But we're not very close.
- Jin, don't say that.
128
00:04:18,236 --> 00:04:20,108
Ow! [clicks tongue]
129
00:04:20,151 --> 00:04:21,413
Let me buy you lunch. What do you like?
130
00:04:21,457 --> 00:04:23,764
Lobster, steak? Anything you want.
131
00:04:23,807 --> 00:04:25,200
What do you want? You want sushi?
132
00:04:25,243 --> 00:04:27,463
Mm, I'm more of a turkey Swiss
133
00:04:27,506 --> 00:04:28,856
on white bread kind of guy.
134
00:04:28,899 --> 00:04:32,337
That sounds amazing!
I want... no, I don't.
135
00:04:32,381 --> 00:04:37,371
I'm gluten-free. Aw,
Jin, I'm gonna miss you.
136
00:04:38,126 --> 00:04:39,910
May I ask you just one little favor?
137
00:04:39,954 --> 00:04:41,216
Would it be possible
138
00:04:41,259 --> 00:04:43,261
if you spoke in your regular voice?
139
00:04:43,305 --> 00:04:47,744
My regular... yeah, yeah.
That's a lot, wasn't it?
140
00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:49,920
It was.
141
00:04:49,964 --> 00:04:51,443
Cy-dawg. Heads up!
142
00:04:51,487 --> 00:04:52,836
[loud whooshing]
143
00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:55,708
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! I'm in hell!
144
00:04:55,752 --> 00:04:59,016
You are officially invited
to join the Payne Fun Patrol.
145
00:04:59,060 --> 00:05:00,626
- It's in my mouth.
- We're gonna go around.
146
00:05:00,670 --> 00:05:02,759
We're gonna do fun things,
raise morale, it'll be great.
147
00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:05,022
I need an eye wash.
Why did you have to do this?
148
00:05:05,066 --> 00:05:06,545
'Cause this is my family's company,
149
00:05:06,589 --> 00:05:09,635
and if people aren't happy
here, then I'm gonna fix it.
150
00:05:09,679 --> 00:05:11,637
Welcome to the team.
151
00:05:11,681 --> 00:05:12,987
Whoo!
152
00:05:15,380 --> 00:05:16,773
Sweet Jesus.
153
00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:18,470
Hey, everyone. Hi.
154
00:05:18,514 --> 00:05:20,298
I'm just wondering how everyone's
155
00:05:20,342 --> 00:05:21,560
feeling about things.
156
00:05:21,604 --> 00:05:23,301
You know, is there anything
157
00:05:23,345 --> 00:05:27,784
that we or I could...
Could be doing better?
158
00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:31,396
You know, stuff like, um,
I don't know, more windows.
159
00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:33,659
Well, I mean, obviously
we can't... we can't do that.
160
00:05:33,703 --> 00:05:35,618
But, you know, stuff like that.
Stuff like that.
161
00:05:35,661 --> 00:05:38,186
I wouldn't mind having some
pistachios in the break room.
162
00:05:38,229 --> 00:05:42,364
Pistachios! Done. Dori, write it down!
163
00:05:42,407 --> 00:05:45,367
I have tree nut allergies,
so I can't eat pistachios.
164
00:05:45,410 --> 00:05:47,935
- I can't even be near them.
- Got it. Okay, great.
165
00:05:47,978 --> 00:05:49,166
So no pistachios, just cross those off.
166
00:05:49,191 --> 00:05:50,260
All right. All right. All right.
167
00:05:50,285 --> 00:05:51,982
That's no problem at all.
168
00:05:52,026 --> 00:05:54,898
Well, if any of you think
of anything or, you know,
169
00:05:54,942 --> 00:05:57,335
you just want to even ever just chat,
170
00:05:57,379 --> 00:05:58,989
my door is always open.
171
00:05:59,033 --> 00:06:01,905
- Is now a good time?
- I'm sorry?
172
00:06:01,949 --> 00:06:03,602
Is now a good time to chat?
173
00:06:03,646 --> 00:06:06,954
Uh, Dori, what's... What's my schedule?
174
00:06:06,997 --> 00:06:09,347
- Is it pretty... pretty hectic?
- Uh, no.
175
00:06:09,391 --> 00:06:11,262
You just have an interview
with Motor Trend today,
176
00:06:11,306 --> 00:06:13,047
but that's in half an hour,
so you're free right now.
177
00:06:13,090 --> 00:06:15,701
So I... I am free. I am free.
And I am free right now.
178
00:06:15,745 --> 00:06:19,183
There I am. I'm free.
So I guess come on in. Um...
179
00:06:19,227 --> 00:06:21,403
Barb. Short for Barbara.
180
00:06:21,446 --> 00:06:22,883
But that's my grandmother's name,
181
00:06:22,926 --> 00:06:24,449
so I go by Barb.
182
00:06:24,493 --> 00:06:29,461
Great. Love it. Barb!
Come on. Let's chat! Barb, huh?
183
00:06:30,784 --> 00:06:33,745
Okay, so we have two options.
We go all the way fun...
184
00:06:33,770 --> 00:06:36,134
So like dumping a bucket
of slime on someone's head...
185
00:06:36,159 --> 00:06:39,528
Or we go classy, like eating
sushi off a naked lady.
186
00:06:39,571 --> 00:06:41,486
But the problem is body heat.
You don't want a hot sushi.
187
00:06:41,530 --> 00:06:43,836
Or we could have a little cake
188
00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:47,100
- and give everyone T-shirts.
- Okay. Building on that idea.
189
00:06:47,144 --> 00:06:48,711
Foam party. All right?
190
00:06:48,754 --> 00:06:51,496
No one sees what anyone's
doing, total deniability
191
00:06:51,540 --> 00:06:52,900
to "roam in the foam."
192
00:06:52,925 --> 00:06:54,412
How's that building on my idea?
193
00:06:54,456 --> 00:06:55,718
T-shirts made me think of wet T-shirts
194
00:06:55,761 --> 00:06:56,893
made me think of foam party.
195
00:06:56,936 --> 00:06:58,242
In college, we had a Silly Wall.
196
00:06:58,285 --> 00:06:59,852
Just a little section of a wall
197
00:06:59,896 --> 00:07:02,115
where people could draw silly
pictures or write messages.
198
00:07:02,159 --> 00:07:03,290
You must be the least fun person
199
00:07:03,334 --> 00:07:04,466
I've ever met in my life.
200
00:07:04,509 --> 00:07:06,076
If I'm so not fun, then why did you
201
00:07:06,119 --> 00:07:07,381
ask for my help in the first place?
202
00:07:07,425 --> 00:07:10,123
Because everyone else is busy.
203
00:07:12,474 --> 00:07:13,562
What the hell?
204
00:07:13,605 --> 00:07:14,693
Did you know people around the office
205
00:07:14,737 --> 00:07:16,652
were referring to me as "Asexuelliot"?
206
00:07:16,695 --> 00:07:18,392
We said we wouldn't read
emails about each other.
207
00:07:18,436 --> 00:07:21,308
No, we wouldn't read emails
from each other, okay?
208
00:07:21,352 --> 00:07:23,223
From, not about. It's
a crucial preposition.
209
00:07:23,267 --> 00:07:25,269
I mean, "Asexuelliot"
is not even a good nickname.
210
00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:26,923
I don't think it's supposed to be good.
211
00:07:26,966 --> 00:07:28,446
I think it's supposed to be mean.
212
00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:29,926
No, but my point is it's not accurate, okay?
213
00:07:29,969 --> 00:07:31,318
Because I'm not asexual.
214
00:07:31,362 --> 00:07:33,843
I mean, Chloe, do you think I'm asexual?
215
00:07:33,886 --> 00:07:36,585
I never thought about your
sexuality one way or another.
216
00:07:36,628 --> 00:07:37,803
See?
217
00:07:37,847 --> 00:07:39,109
Isn't that the definition of asexual?
218
00:07:39,152 --> 00:07:41,154
Okay. Yeah. No, I see what's going on.
219
00:07:41,198 --> 00:07:42,460
It's because I'm British.
That's what's going on.
220
00:07:42,504 --> 00:07:43,809
This often happens
on this side of the pond.
221
00:07:43,853 --> 00:07:45,245
No, what about Daniel Craig?
222
00:07:45,289 --> 00:07:46,290
Well, he is the exception
that proves the rule.
223
00:07:46,333 --> 00:07:48,074
Idris Elba, Kit Harington,
224
00:07:48,118 --> 00:07:50,294
Charlie Hunnam, Henry Cavill,
225
00:07:50,337 --> 00:07:52,296
Andrew Garfield, Pierce Brosnan.
226
00:07:52,339 --> 00:07:53,602
Well, Pierce Brosnan is Irish.
227
00:07:53,645 --> 00:07:54,994
Pretty much the whole
cast of "Bridgerton."
228
00:07:55,038 --> 00:07:58,464
[bleep] off, Chloe. Actually.
229
00:07:58,489 --> 00:08:02,262
And then the doctor said,
"I'm not even anemic.
230
00:08:02,306 --> 00:08:03,786
I'm just old." [laughs]
231
00:08:03,829 --> 00:08:05,135
That's amazing.
232
00:08:05,178 --> 00:08:06,353
Uh, I hate to interrupt,
233
00:08:06,397 --> 00:08:08,138
but you have that Motor Trend interview.
234
00:08:08,181 --> 00:08:09,792
Seriously? Shoot.
235
00:08:09,835 --> 00:08:12,795
You know, I was skeptical
about this, but this was great.
236
00:08:12,838 --> 00:08:14,231
If you want to stop by later,
237
00:08:14,274 --> 00:08:15,406
I'll tell you the second
half of that story.
238
00:08:15,449 --> 00:08:17,321
Are you sure? I don't want to bug you.
239
00:08:17,364 --> 00:08:19,584
You could never.
Absolutely not. Hey, Dori.
240
00:08:19,628 --> 00:08:22,631
If Barb ever wants to stop by,
my door is always open, okay?
241
00:08:22,674 --> 00:08:24,502
All right, then I'll see you later.
242
00:08:24,546 --> 00:08:26,548
Okay. Take care, Barb. [laughs]
243
00:08:26,591 --> 00:08:28,462
Wow, looks like you guys really...
244
00:08:28,506 --> 00:08:30,987
That is the most annoying
[bleep] lunatic
245
00:08:31,030 --> 00:08:32,815
I have ever met in my entire life.
246
00:08:32,858 --> 00:08:35,948
Don't ever let her within
ten feet of me ever again.
247
00:08:35,992 --> 00:08:37,820
- Okay. I got it.
- Oh, and Dori?
248
00:08:37,863 --> 00:08:39,778
If I ever asked you
if something's on my calendar,
249
00:08:39,822 --> 00:08:42,041
the answer is always yes!
250
00:08:42,085 --> 00:08:44,174
Yes.
251
00:08:44,217 --> 00:08:45,654
It's not gonna be the same
without you here.
252
00:08:45,697 --> 00:08:48,004
I feel like we're just
getting to know each other.
253
00:08:48,047 --> 00:08:50,659
- Are you on the 'gram?
- Mm-hmm.
254
00:08:50,702 --> 00:08:52,008
I'm on the 'gram.
255
00:08:52,051 --> 00:08:53,313
Is there something that we could do
256
00:08:53,357 --> 00:08:54,837
to make you change your mind?
257
00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:56,142
I know it's been a tough year
258
00:08:56,186 --> 00:08:58,188
with the remodel and
the stock restructure.
259
00:08:58,231 --> 00:09:00,103
And, you know, there
is an adjustment period
260
00:09:00,146 --> 00:09:03,541
having a new CEO that isn't
fully versed in the industry.
261
00:09:03,585 --> 00:09:06,413
- That's an understatement.
- Katherine?
262
00:09:06,457 --> 00:09:08,459
Right. Take it you're not a fan then.
263
00:09:08,502 --> 00:09:10,461
Understatement number two.
264
00:09:10,504 --> 00:09:13,203
Not only am I not a
fan. I'm an anti-fan.
265
00:09:13,246 --> 00:09:16,249
- Gotcha.
- I actively dislike her.
266
00:09:21,733 --> 00:09:24,606
Everybody up! [upbeat music playing]
267
00:09:24,649 --> 00:09:27,739
Come on! I said get out of those seats.
268
00:09:27,783 --> 00:09:30,394
I want you and you and you.
269
00:09:30,437 --> 00:09:32,135
Not you. Just kidding. You too. Come on!
270
00:09:32,178 --> 00:09:33,658
What is happening?
271
00:09:33,702 --> 00:09:35,138
Oh, what's happening is
a midday dance break.
272
00:09:35,181 --> 00:09:38,750
Get those endorphins going.
Come on, everybody! Whoo!
273
00:09:38,794 --> 00:09:42,406
Or if you feel like being wacky,
274
00:09:42,449 --> 00:09:44,538
come check out the Silly Wall.
275
00:09:44,582 --> 00:09:47,063
Hey, Cyrus, what's a Silly Wall?
276
00:09:47,106 --> 00:09:48,499
I'm gonna show you.
277
00:09:48,542 --> 00:09:49,892
Come on, you don't need
to know those moves.
278
00:09:49,935 --> 00:09:53,547
Just find that beat. Uh-oh.
279
00:09:53,591 --> 00:09:55,811
She'll have to call you
back. She's dancing!
280
00:09:55,854 --> 00:09:59,075
So this is an octopus.
Kind of silly, right?
281
00:09:59,118 --> 00:10:00,511
But I'm gonna get even sillier with it
282
00:10:00,554 --> 00:10:01,991
and give him a cowboy hat.
283
00:10:02,034 --> 00:10:04,515
Hey, who put all the supplies
on my dance floor?
284
00:10:04,558 --> 00:10:08,824
Get out of here. Come on, everybody!
285
00:10:08,867 --> 00:10:12,044
It's the running man.
Do the running man. Yeah!
286
00:10:12,088 --> 00:10:14,220
That's what I'm talking about.
Everyone, do this move.
287
00:10:14,264 --> 00:10:16,353
Lauren, do this move
or else you're fired.
288
00:10:16,396 --> 00:10:19,443
Whoa! Bad form, but I
love the effort. Whoo!
289
00:10:19,486 --> 00:10:22,228
Now, what if this octopus
was wearing a cowboy hat
290
00:10:22,272 --> 00:10:24,361
on top of the Empire State Building?
291
00:10:24,404 --> 00:10:26,450
Uh-uh. Y'all ain't ready. Hold on.
292
00:10:26,493 --> 00:10:30,106
Hey, ho! Hey, ho!
293
00:10:30,149 --> 00:10:32,761
Not mandatory but highly suggested.
294
00:10:32,804 --> 00:10:35,894
This is silly as hell, right? [laughs]
295
00:10:35,938 --> 00:10:37,679
Okay, so I didn't go around the office
296
00:10:37,722 --> 00:10:40,290
talking about sex all the time.
That doesn't make asexual.
297
00:10:40,333 --> 00:10:41,813
Makes me appropriate for the workplace.
298
00:10:41,857 --> 00:10:43,075
- Hmm.
- What?
299
00:10:43,119 --> 00:10:44,337
Ah, nothing.
300
00:10:44,381 --> 00:10:45,730
Are they calling you asexual too?
301
00:10:45,774 --> 00:10:47,558
- No.
- Are they calling you sexual?
302
00:10:47,601 --> 00:10:49,647
Do you know what, it
doesn't... doesn't matter.
303
00:10:49,691 --> 00:10:52,606
Don't even know why... don't even
know why I'm talking about it.
304
00:10:52,650 --> 00:10:56,001
I mean, Janine is calling me asexual.
305
00:10:56,045 --> 00:10:59,701
I mean, the woman is
a weapons-grade boner killer.
306
00:10:59,744 --> 00:11:00,963
Right?
307
00:11:01,006 --> 00:11:03,313
Uh, yes. Excuse me.
I have to call you back.
308
00:11:03,356 --> 00:11:05,968
Excuse me! Hi. Where are you going?
309
00:11:06,011 --> 00:11:10,233
Oh, I was telling Kat about
this hilarious goat yoga video.
310
00:11:10,276 --> 00:11:11,887
I just want to show it to her.
311
00:11:11,930 --> 00:11:13,410
Yeah, well, she's not in.
312
00:11:13,453 --> 00:11:14,803
You can forward it to me
and I'll make sure she sees it.
313
00:11:14,846 --> 00:11:17,719
I want to watch her face
while she's watching it.
314
00:11:17,762 --> 00:11:18,894
I'll wait for her.
315
00:11:18,937 --> 00:11:20,591
No, actually, she doesn't like people
316
00:11:20,634 --> 00:11:22,158
being in her office
when she's not there.
317
00:11:22,201 --> 00:11:24,377
Um, I'm not "people." I'm Barb.
318
00:11:24,421 --> 00:11:25,901
You are... Barb!
319
00:11:27,554 --> 00:11:30,557
Barb, please! No, don't you sit down!
320
00:11:30,601 --> 00:11:32,690
Her leadership skills
are lackluster at best.
321
00:11:32,734 --> 00:11:34,474
And you ever notice how she says right
322
00:11:34,518 --> 00:11:36,172
at the end of everything
and you have to say right back
323
00:11:36,215 --> 00:11:38,174
like you're agreeing with her
even when she's wrong?
324
00:11:38,217 --> 00:11:40,872
Sure. She's an acquired taste.
325
00:11:40,916 --> 00:11:43,527
You should come with me to Volkswagen.
326
00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:46,095
- You're going to Volkswagen?
- And not just me.
327
00:11:46,138 --> 00:11:48,097
They're poaching all our best people.
328
00:11:48,140 --> 00:11:50,969
By next year, there will be
no one good left here.
329
00:11:51,013 --> 00:11:52,971
It'll be like... Ever
read "Atlas Shrugged"?
330
00:11:53,015 --> 00:11:54,930
- No.
- "Stranger in a Strange Land"?
331
00:11:54,973 --> 00:11:56,583
I don't have that much time to read.
332
00:11:56,627 --> 00:11:58,194
- "Hunger Games."
- Oh, that was a book?
333
00:11:58,237 --> 00:11:59,848
I saw the movie. Great movie.
334
00:11:59,891 --> 00:12:03,373
Yeah, well, this place
is about to become District 12.
335
00:12:03,416 --> 00:12:05,636
That's the worst district.
336
00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:08,138
Volkswagen?
337
00:12:08,163 --> 00:12:11,172
All these people have been
jumping ship for Volkswagen?!
338
00:12:11,215 --> 00:12:13,304
He said Hassan Carr in Logistics,
339
00:12:13,348 --> 00:12:15,655
Claire Hartley in Gov Affairs,
and Rob Berg in Design
340
00:12:15,698 --> 00:12:17,178
are all leaving with him this week.
341
00:12:17,221 --> 00:12:18,875
And if that makes other people follow,
342
00:12:18,919 --> 00:12:20,137
pretty soon it's gonna be like
343
00:12:20,181 --> 00:12:22,009
"Stranger in a Strange
Land" around here.
344
00:12:22,052 --> 00:12:23,314
Never read that. Is that any good?
345
00:12:23,358 --> 00:12:24,779
It's pretty good.
346
00:12:24,804 --> 00:12:27,318
I can't believe they're
poaching Rob Berg!
347
00:12:27,362 --> 00:12:28,668
I am so much better than him.
348
00:12:28,711 --> 00:12:30,365
Yeah, that's the headline here.
349
00:12:30,408 --> 00:12:32,019
Okay. Jin is the biggest
name on this list.
350
00:12:32,062 --> 00:12:33,586
If I can get him to agree to stay,
351
00:12:33,629 --> 00:12:34,978
maybe it will staunch the bleeding.
352
00:12:35,022 --> 00:12:36,371
Or we publicly fire the people
353
00:12:36,414 --> 00:12:38,808
who are planning to leave.
Make an example of them.
354
00:12:38,852 --> 00:12:40,636
"This is what happens
when you get out of the line."
355
00:12:40,680 --> 00:12:43,813
Publicly purging your enemies
might feel a little fascist.
356
00:12:43,857 --> 00:12:45,293
Yeah, there's literally
a video of Saddam Hussein
357
00:12:45,336 --> 00:12:46,511
doing exactly that.
358
00:12:46,555 --> 00:12:47,817
Yeah, that's where I got the idea.
359
00:12:47,861 --> 00:12:49,297
Yeah. I don't want to
rule by fear, okay?
360
00:12:49,340 --> 00:12:51,081
I want people to be here
because they want to be here.
361
00:12:51,125 --> 00:12:52,517
Do you think they went after Rob
362
00:12:52,561 --> 00:12:56,043
because they thought
I was too loyal to be poached?
363
00:12:56,086 --> 00:12:58,828
Oh, I don't think anyone
would think that about you.
364
00:12:58,872 --> 00:13:00,569
- You're gonna get...
- Hey!
365
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:02,005
- Why can't I get you out?
- Leave me alone!
366
00:13:02,049 --> 00:13:03,528
- You cannot be here!
- What is going on?
367
00:13:03,572 --> 00:13:04,834
Kat, thank God.
368
00:13:04,878 --> 00:13:07,074
Your secretary is trying to kick me out.
369
00:13:07,099 --> 00:13:08,185
She ran in here.
370
00:13:08,229 --> 00:13:10,057
I'm trying to keep her away
from you, Katherine.
371
00:13:10,100 --> 00:13:12,320
Why would she be trying
to keep me away from you?
372
00:13:12,363 --> 00:13:15,323
I haven't the faintest idea.
Dori, Barb is my friend.
373
00:13:15,366 --> 00:13:18,805
Wasn't I clear when I said
my door is always open to Barb?
374
00:13:18,848 --> 00:13:20,241
I am really disappointed in you.
375
00:13:20,284 --> 00:13:22,460
Now if you could please do your job
376
00:13:22,504 --> 00:13:26,073
and ask Jin to come see me,
that would be great.
377
00:13:26,116 --> 00:13:28,815
No problem.
378
00:13:28,858 --> 00:13:31,644
I am so sorry about her. Wow!
379
00:13:31,687 --> 00:13:36,213
- Cyrus, am I a sexual person?
- Um.
380
00:13:36,257 --> 00:13:38,128
I'm not... I'm not hitting
on you or anything like that.
381
00:13:38,172 --> 00:13:42,263
It's just that... I guess some
people here think I'm asexual.
382
00:13:42,306 --> 00:13:44,047
So you know, doesn't really bother me.
383
00:13:44,091 --> 00:13:47,355
- But it does a bit.
- No.
384
00:13:47,398 --> 00:13:49,313
Maybe it's just because you're British.
385
00:13:49,357 --> 00:13:51,707
So funny, that's exactly
what I said, thank you.
386
00:13:51,751 --> 00:13:53,666
I mean, this morning Wesley
said I'm not fun.
387
00:13:53,709 --> 00:13:55,058
I mean, that's not true, right?
388
00:13:55,102 --> 00:13:57,626
Well, I mean, I wouldn't
exactly describe you
389
00:13:57,670 --> 00:14:00,237
as the office fun guy, but...
390
00:14:00,281 --> 00:14:02,022
Well, at least I'm not a [bleep] eunuch.
391
00:14:05,112 --> 00:14:06,896
- Hey, you got a sec?
- Sure. What's up?
392
00:14:06,940 --> 00:14:08,724
Yeah, did you recommend me
393
00:14:08,768 --> 00:14:10,552
for a management training program?
394
00:14:10,595 --> 00:14:11,901
- Training program?
- Yeah.
395
00:14:11,945 --> 00:14:13,207
I saw the email chain
396
00:14:13,250 --> 00:14:14,861
between you and the head of the program.
397
00:14:14,904 --> 00:14:16,558
I mean, I wasn't reading your emails.
398
00:14:16,601 --> 00:14:17,646
I saw it in his inbox.
399
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,430
Yes, the PMTB, yeah.
400
00:14:19,474 --> 00:14:21,955
I... I go by the acronym. Yeah.
401
00:14:21,998 --> 00:14:23,783
I mean, I thought that
that would be great for you.
402
00:14:23,826 --> 00:14:26,655
- I hope that's okay.
- Yeah. Yeah.
403
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,178
I mean, it would rotate me
404
00:14:28,222 --> 00:14:30,093
out of Detroit for months at a time.
405
00:14:30,137 --> 00:14:32,966
Would it? I didn't...
I didn't know that.
406
00:14:33,009 --> 00:14:34,141
You trying to get rid of me again?
407
00:14:34,184 --> 00:14:36,970
Whoa! Wow. Try to do a guy a favor.
408
00:14:37,013 --> 00:14:40,147
Right, if you... if you're
still feeling weird about us
409
00:14:40,190 --> 00:14:42,845
or if it's maybe because
I'm dating this new girl or...
410
00:14:42,889 --> 00:14:44,325
No, I thought that this
would be a chance for you
411
00:14:44,368 --> 00:14:46,544
to get the tools that you need
to have a career here.
412
00:14:46,588 --> 00:14:48,764
But, you know, if you're fine
not having the tools
413
00:14:48,808 --> 00:14:50,331
and like being tool-less...
414
00:14:50,374 --> 00:14:52,289
Okay, so now you're just insulting me?
415
00:14:52,333 --> 00:14:53,987
You know what? It's fine. Forget it.
416
00:14:54,030 --> 00:14:56,163
Maybe people will just
keep hitting you with cars
417
00:14:56,206 --> 00:14:57,425
and promoting you to positions
418
00:14:57,468 --> 00:14:59,263
that you didn't earn
and you don't deserve.
419
00:15:00,645 --> 00:15:02,778
Got it.
420
00:15:02,822 --> 00:15:05,215
Sorry for doubting your motives.
421
00:15:05,259 --> 00:15:07,914
- It wasn't what I...
- No, thank you.
422
00:15:07,957 --> 00:15:09,785
For the recommendation.
423
00:15:11,918 --> 00:15:14,050
Jin, you're Chinese American, right?
424
00:15:14,094 --> 00:15:15,704
Well, my folks are from China.
425
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:18,098
But my mother's family is from Vietnam.
426
00:15:18,141 --> 00:15:19,969
My point is that no matter our heritage,
427
00:15:20,013 --> 00:15:21,841
we all speak the same language.
428
00:15:21,884 --> 00:15:23,103
- English.
- Money.
429
00:15:23,146 --> 00:15:25,192
And I am willing to offer you
430
00:15:25,235 --> 00:15:28,151
a stupid amount of it
to stay right here at Payne.
431
00:15:28,195 --> 00:15:30,327
The board would never approve that.
432
00:15:30,371 --> 00:15:33,940
They wouldn't know.
You're the CFO. Find it.
433
00:15:33,983 --> 00:15:36,333
You're suggesting that
I embezzle from the company?
434
00:15:36,377 --> 00:15:38,074
Creative accounting.
435
00:15:38,118 --> 00:15:41,164
It isn't about the money.
436
00:15:41,208 --> 00:15:42,992
Jin, I don't want to be the boss
437
00:15:43,036 --> 00:15:44,341
that has to rule by fear.
438
00:15:44,385 --> 00:15:47,040
I don't want to have
to threaten to tie you up
439
00:15:47,083 --> 00:15:49,216
in litigation so long
that you would never
440
00:15:49,259 --> 00:15:51,174
get to enjoy your boring golden years
441
00:15:51,218 --> 00:15:54,743
with your boring wife
and your boring grandchildren.
442
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:57,050
Don't make me be that boss.
443
00:15:57,093 --> 00:16:00,183
- Maybe you won't be any boss.
- What does that mean?
444
00:16:00,227 --> 00:16:03,360
Word on the street is
the board isn't happy with you.
445
00:16:03,404 --> 00:16:06,276
If I were you, I'd focus more
on whether you're gonna be able
446
00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:09,062
to keep your own job
than worrying about mine.
447
00:16:12,543 --> 00:16:14,850
- Barb.
- Hey, Jin.
448
00:16:14,894 --> 00:16:17,374
Sorry, I just had to show you
the YouTube video
449
00:16:17,418 --> 00:16:20,116
of the cinnamon challenge.
It's a major fail.
450
00:16:22,857 --> 00:16:24,747
Who is ready for the first ever
451
00:16:24,772 --> 00:16:27,058
Payne Employee Appreciation Party?
452
00:16:27,102 --> 00:16:30,366
Everybody, make some noise!
453
00:16:30,410 --> 00:16:32,063
[loud whooshing]
454
00:16:32,107 --> 00:16:33,717
[2 Unlimited's "Get
Ready For This" playing]
455
00:16:33,761 --> 00:16:35,719
Dori, air horn. [air horn blares]
456
00:16:35,763 --> 00:16:37,982
Oh-oh-oh-oh, yeah!
457
00:16:38,026 --> 00:16:39,984
Okay, yeah, you're feeling this?
458
00:16:41,899 --> 00:16:44,859
Hello, ladies. Janine.
459
00:16:44,902 --> 00:16:48,471
- Hi, Elliot.
- Donuts, right?
460
00:16:48,515 --> 00:16:51,387
Yeah, kinda make me horny.
461
00:16:51,431 --> 00:16:54,347
No, no, no. I'm happy here.
Good pay, love the work.
462
00:16:54,390 --> 00:16:57,045
I... I don't think I'd ever leave.
463
00:16:57,088 --> 00:17:00,004
Although I could for
the right opportunity.
464
00:17:00,048 --> 00:17:02,224
But you know, it'd have
to make sense financially.
465
00:17:02,267 --> 00:17:04,400
But you know, if the money is good.
466
00:17:07,838 --> 00:17:09,492
I could take a haircut if I had to.
467
00:17:13,714 --> 00:17:15,193
Hey.
468
00:17:15,995 --> 00:17:17,195
Hey.
469
00:17:20,024 --> 00:17:23,201
I was trying to get rid of you.
470
00:17:23,245 --> 00:17:25,029
It's not that I don't like you.
471
00:17:25,073 --> 00:17:27,989
It's just hard enough
being taken seriously
472
00:17:28,032 --> 00:17:30,295
as a young female executive
473
00:17:30,339 --> 00:17:32,036
without a guy you had a fling with
474
00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:33,995
sitting ten feet away
and people making jokes
475
00:17:34,038 --> 00:17:35,953
that we should drill
gloryholes in the wall.
476
00:17:35,997 --> 00:17:38,913
- I'm so sorry about that.
- It's not your fault.
477
00:17:38,956 --> 00:17:42,177
Anyway, that is the
only reason that I said
478
00:17:42,220 --> 00:17:45,093
you didn't deserve to be here,
and it's not true.
479
00:17:45,136 --> 00:17:47,661
Just because it's the
reason you said it,
480
00:17:47,704 --> 00:17:48,966
doesn't mean it's not true.
481
00:17:49,017 --> 00:17:50,932
♪ Y'all ready for this? ♪
482
00:17:50,968 --> 00:17:52,927
[air horn blares]
483
00:17:52,970 --> 00:17:55,582
Yeah! Come on. We're feeling it, right?
484
00:17:55,625 --> 00:17:57,714
Oh! Okay.
485
00:17:57,758 --> 00:17:59,063
What is this? What's happening?
486
00:17:59,107 --> 00:18:00,978
Uh-oh. [air horn blares]
487
00:18:01,022 --> 00:18:03,590
It looks like we're gonna
turn the fun dial up to 11.
488
00:18:03,633 --> 00:18:06,288
Please give it up for the woman
who puts the "Kat"
489
00:18:06,331 --> 00:18:07,811
- in catastrophe.
- Oh, no, no, no.
490
00:18:07,855 --> 00:18:11,772
The one, the only Katherine Hastings!
491
00:18:11,815 --> 00:18:14,427
I don't... I'm... I don't wanna.
492
00:18:14,470 --> 00:18:17,778
Come on, Payne!
Show her some love. Let's go.
493
00:18:17,821 --> 00:18:19,475
- Oh.
- Come on.
494
00:18:19,519 --> 00:18:20,955
Don't worry. I got 'em all warmed up.
495
00:18:20,998 --> 00:18:22,347
You just gotta hit it home.
496
00:18:22,391 --> 00:18:25,307
Okay, wow. Wow.
497
00:18:25,350 --> 00:18:28,789
Uh, hello, I hope everyone
is having a great day.
498
00:18:28,832 --> 00:18:32,314
You know, here at Payne,
we have a great group of folks.
499
00:18:32,357 --> 00:18:35,230
Yeah, and, um, and I think
our best days are ahead.
500
00:18:35,273 --> 00:18:36,405
I do.
501
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:38,233
[scattered applause]
502
00:18:38,276 --> 00:18:40,148
Yes, we should be excited.
503
00:18:40,191 --> 00:18:44,282
That's right because who are we?
504
00:18:46,372 --> 00:18:48,504
Then you guys say Payne.
Then you guys say Payne.
505
00:18:48,548 --> 00:18:52,116
So I say... I say who are we?
And you guys know go...
506
00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:54,641
All: Payne!
507
00:18:54,684 --> 00:18:56,120
Right!
508
00:18:56,164 --> 00:18:58,819
I said, who are we?
509
00:18:58,862 --> 00:19:02,083
All: Payne! [air horn blares]
510
00:19:09,873 --> 00:19:14,051
But you know, a business is
only as good as its employees.
511
00:19:14,095 --> 00:19:17,664
So to those among us
who do not feel that love,
512
00:19:17,707 --> 00:19:19,535
do not feel that pride,
513
00:19:19,579 --> 00:19:23,670
I say find somewhere else to work.
514
00:19:23,713 --> 00:19:26,542
If you're not gung-ho
about working here,
515
00:19:26,586 --> 00:19:30,372
hey, I will find someone else who is.
516
00:19:30,415 --> 00:19:35,116
Hassan Carr, Claire Hartley,
Rob Berg, Jintao Kang,
517
00:19:35,159 --> 00:19:37,988
please pack your things and go.
518
00:19:38,032 --> 00:19:40,121
Now who are we?
519
00:19:40,164 --> 00:19:44,691
- All: Payne!
- That's right! Who! Are! We?
520
00:19:44,734 --> 00:19:46,388
All: Payne!
521
00:19:46,431 --> 00:19:47,433
Yes!
522
00:19:47,458 --> 00:19:50,218
[cheers and applause]
523
00:19:50,261 --> 00:19:52,655
[air horn blares]
524
00:20:02,012 --> 00:20:05,363
Hi. That was quite the speech.
525
00:20:05,407 --> 00:20:06,887
Kind of went the Saddam route, huh?
526
00:20:06,930 --> 00:20:08,410
He was in power for 25 years,
527
00:20:08,453 --> 00:20:09,542
must have been doing something right.
528
00:20:09,585 --> 00:20:10,708
[chuckles]
529
00:20:11,979 --> 00:20:14,068
I think I'm in trouble.
530
00:20:14,111 --> 00:20:15,950
I think the board might want me out.
531
00:20:17,375 --> 00:20:19,377
Oh.
532
00:20:19,421 --> 00:20:22,729
- Do you want to talk about it?
- No, it's late. You go home.
533
00:20:22,772 --> 00:20:25,166
I need some time to think anyway.
534
00:20:25,209 --> 00:20:26,950
Okay, night.
535
00:20:32,129 --> 00:20:34,001
That's a lot of penises.
536
00:20:34,044 --> 00:20:35,480
Yeah.
537
00:20:35,524 --> 00:20:36,830
Adds something to the place, huh?
538
00:20:36,873 --> 00:20:39,310
Yeah. Adds penises.
539
00:20:39,354 --> 00:20:40,485
Hmm.
540
00:20:41,791 --> 00:20:46,361
Well, don't stay too late.
Have a good night.
541
00:20:46,404 --> 00:20:47,623
Night.
542
00:21:01,942 --> 00:21:03,596
Hi, Peyton. This is Jack Fordham.
543
00:21:03,639 --> 00:21:05,075
Sadie Ryan sent you an email about me.
544
00:21:05,119 --> 00:21:06,686
I want to say the next time
that there's an opening
545
00:21:06,729 --> 00:21:09,166
in the training program,
definitely interested.
546
00:21:09,210 --> 00:21:11,691
Hope to hear from you soon. Thanks.
547
00:21:17,453 --> 00:21:21,453
- Synced and corrected by synk -
- www.addic7ed.com -
41956
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