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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,767 --> 00:00:02,334 - Hey, deb. 2 00:00:02,336 --> 00:00:06,171 - Yeah. - Tie, huh? Whoa, jazzy. 3 00:00:06,173 --> 00:00:07,706 - Yeah, it's for ray. 4 00:00:07,708 --> 00:00:09,541 - Hey, everybody. 5 00:00:11,311 --> 00:00:14,780 - Hey, my brother! 6 00:00:14,782 --> 00:00:17,149 Good to see you, my brother. 7 00:00:17,151 --> 00:00:18,584 - All right, come on. 8 00:00:18,586 --> 00:00:24,256 Don't ever do that unless I'm on fire. 9 00:00:24,258 --> 00:00:27,059 Even then, ask first. 10 00:00:27,061 --> 00:00:29,628 - So are we going away on a golf weekend or what? 11 00:00:29,630 --> 00:00:31,296 - Yes, we are. 12 00:00:31,298 --> 00:00:33,065 I spoke to my connection in myrtle beach. 13 00:00:33,067 --> 00:00:35,234 He pulled a couple strings. We're in. 14 00:00:35,236 --> 00:00:36,735 - Oh, this is going to be beautiful. 15 00:00:36,737 --> 00:00:40,539 I'm going to buy a new pair of plaid pants. 16 00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:43,609 - I just got to check a couple things out first. 17 00:00:43,611 --> 00:00:45,811 - What do you mean? What? You said we're in. 18 00:00:45,813 --> 00:00:48,247 You haven't asked debra yet, have you? 19 00:00:48,249 --> 00:00:50,282 - Not yet, but I'm just-- 20 00:00:50,284 --> 00:00:52,151 I'm laying the foundation, okay? 21 00:00:52,153 --> 00:00:54,186 It's a whole process, man. 22 00:00:54,188 --> 00:00:55,587 - You got to make this happen for me. 23 00:00:55,589 --> 00:00:57,790 Come on, I need something to look forward to 24 00:00:57,792 --> 00:00:59,725 In my soup-for-one life. 25 00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:01,493 - I know. I know. Look, it just-- 26 00:01:01,495 --> 00:01:03,695 It requires a little finagling, that's all. 27 00:01:03,697 --> 00:01:06,231 - Oh, god, what are you going to do? 28 00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:09,268 - Don't worry your large rectangular head. 29 00:01:12,605 --> 00:01:14,506 - Okay, I got to go pick up the kids. 30 00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:18,744 - Hey, deb. Hi. Aw, you look nice. 31 00:01:18,746 --> 00:01:20,279 - Oh, I'm totally gross. 32 00:01:20,281 --> 00:01:23,082 I haven't had a chance to shower yet. 33 00:01:23,084 --> 00:01:25,451 - Ah, you'd never know it. 34 00:01:28,388 --> 00:01:30,089 Hey, wait. Wait, wait, wait. 35 00:01:30,091 --> 00:01:31,323 What do you want for christmas? - Honey, I got to go. 36 00:01:31,325 --> 00:01:33,092 - Wait, wait. I just want to know. 37 00:01:33,094 --> 00:01:36,161 What do I get the most beautiful woman in the world? 38 00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:40,732 - Well, I don't know what she wants, 39 00:01:40,734 --> 00:01:44,303 But I could use a crock-pot. 40 00:01:44,305 --> 00:01:45,571 - Crock-pot? - Yeah. 41 00:01:45,573 --> 00:01:46,872 - Oh, because of the melted crayons? 42 00:01:46,874 --> 00:01:48,740 - Yeah. - Yeah, that was ally's idea. 43 00:01:48,742 --> 00:01:52,478 - Yeah? She said it was daddy's. 44 00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:56,448 - Well, then she's a little liar, isn't she? 45 00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:02,354 - Maybe I'll see myrtle beach from heaven. 46 00:02:02,356 --> 00:02:04,256 - Relax, man. I'm working on it. 47 00:02:04,258 --> 00:02:06,125 Okay, I just got some important information. 48 00:02:06,127 --> 00:02:08,327 - What, you suck at finagling? 49 00:02:08,329 --> 00:02:11,263 - No. Crock-pot. 50 00:02:11,265 --> 00:02:13,332 - Oh, right. She's going to let you go on a golf weekend 51 00:02:13,334 --> 00:02:14,733 Because you're getting her a crock-pot. 52 00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:16,335 - No, you idiot. 53 00:02:16,337 --> 00:02:17,769 I'm not going to get a crock-pot, okay? 54 00:02:17,771 --> 00:02:19,171 A crock-pot just sets the level. 55 00:02:19,173 --> 00:02:20,906 I have to work above that. 56 00:02:20,908 --> 00:02:23,542 I gotta get her something that's going to turn her all goopy, 57 00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:26,678 And it has to be better than what she's getting me. 58 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:30,149 - Oh, oh, I know what she's getting you! 59 00:02:30,151 --> 00:02:32,317 - What? What? Come on. What? 60 00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:35,654 - It's a christmas present. I can't ruin it. 61 00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:37,689 - Hey, you want to go to myrtle beach or not, huh? 62 00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:41,793 I'm finagling here. You're impeding the finagle. 63 00:02:41,795 --> 00:02:44,863 - It's a tie. She's getting you a tie. 64 00:02:44,865 --> 00:02:47,266 - A tie? Oh, that's great. 65 00:02:47,268 --> 00:02:48,500 - Yeah, an ugly tie. 66 00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:52,437 - Oh, beautiful. 67 00:02:52,439 --> 00:02:54,306 That stinks. 68 00:02:54,308 --> 00:02:57,509 Oh, I'll get her something really great 69 00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:59,678 That will make her feel like crap. 70 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:00,946 - Like what? 71 00:03:00,948 --> 00:03:02,948 - Anything. What? It's an ugly tie. 72 00:03:02,950 --> 00:03:04,516 I got stuff under the seat of my car 73 00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:06,318 That can beat that. 74 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:10,322 Oh, good work, robert. 75 00:03:10,324 --> 00:03:11,623 - You know, I... 76 00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:13,859 I feel a little dirty. 77 00:03:15,828 --> 00:03:17,763 I like it. 78 00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:24,736 - Guys, take it easy! 79 00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:32,878 - Come on, guys. 80 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:35,681 Take it easy. 81 00:03:35,683 --> 00:03:41,353 Hey, lay down. See if those new pajamas work. 82 00:03:41,355 --> 00:03:42,754 - Ah, look. - I like it. 83 00:03:42,756 --> 00:03:44,990 How lovely. A sweater. 84 00:03:44,992 --> 00:03:46,825 - Yeah. - Where did you find it? 85 00:03:46,827 --> 00:03:48,594 - Oh, macy's. You can return it if you want. 86 00:03:48,596 --> 00:03:50,262 - No, no, no. It's perfect. 87 00:03:50,264 --> 00:03:51,863 Such a pretty color. 88 00:03:51,865 --> 00:03:57,536 Macy's in massapequa or the city? 89 00:03:57,538 --> 00:04:03,275 - This one's says "for debra from rah." 90 00:04:03,277 --> 00:04:06,845 "wrah?" 91 00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:09,248 Looks like "rap." 92 00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:12,017 - You think it might be "ray," dad? 93 00:04:14,787 --> 00:04:16,622 - No. 94 00:04:16,624 --> 00:04:19,925 - Frank, put your glasses on. You're blind. 95 00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:25,931 - And what would be the upside of seeing you more clearly? 96 00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:29,301 - Oh, look at that. It's a crock-pot. 97 00:04:29,303 --> 00:04:31,670 How did you know? 98 00:04:31,672 --> 00:04:33,305 - Cute little birdie told me. 99 00:04:33,307 --> 00:04:34,506 - Oh. 100 00:04:34,508 --> 00:04:35,707 - But I thought you were-- 101 00:04:35,709 --> 00:04:37,309 - Bah! Bah! 102 00:04:38,511 --> 00:04:42,981 And...Here we go. 103 00:04:42,983 --> 00:04:44,650 - Oh, that one is for me? 104 00:04:44,652 --> 00:04:45,917 - Just a little something else 105 00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:48,487 For someone who's... Something else. 106 00:04:48,489 --> 00:04:51,923 - Oh, look. Ray, what did you do? 107 00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:53,458 Oh! 108 00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:56,061 Oh, my gosh. It's all-new cookware. 109 00:04:59,366 --> 00:05:01,033 Oh, I'm sorry. 110 00:05:01,035 --> 00:05:03,669 - Oh, look at this. It's beautiful. 111 00:05:03,671 --> 00:05:05,003 I love this, 112 00:05:05,005 --> 00:05:07,572 But the crock-pot would have been enough. 113 00:05:07,574 --> 00:05:09,574 - No, no, it wouldn't have. 114 00:05:09,576 --> 00:05:12,811 - Oh, thank you. I love it. 115 00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:16,882 - Here's one-- "from debra, to enormo." 116 00:05:18,418 --> 00:05:20,419 - It doesn't say that, dad. 117 00:05:21,889 --> 00:05:25,824 You knew who I was talking about, didn't you? 118 00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:27,059 - Well, this must be the ferrari 119 00:05:27,061 --> 00:05:30,395 I asked santa for. 120 00:05:30,397 --> 00:05:32,664 Oh, uh, this is a mistake, dad. 121 00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:33,865 This one's for raymond. 122 00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:35,434 - No, no, that's for you. 123 00:05:35,436 --> 00:05:36,802 That's for you, robert. 124 00:05:36,804 --> 00:05:38,637 When you caught me with it the other day, 125 00:05:38,639 --> 00:05:39,971 I had to tell you it was for ray 126 00:05:39,973 --> 00:05:42,007 So it'd be a surprise. 127 00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:00,492 - What? 128 00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:02,594 - Yeah. - What? 129 00:06:02,596 --> 00:06:04,930 - No, no, this is what I got for ray. 130 00:06:04,932 --> 00:06:07,966 - You mean, I'm not getting that...Great tie? 131 00:06:07,968 --> 00:06:09,901 - No, this is for you. 132 00:06:09,903 --> 00:06:11,770 - Oh, that's big. That's a big present. 133 00:06:11,772 --> 00:06:13,739 Wow. That's not a tie, 134 00:06:13,741 --> 00:06:17,042 Unless it's one of those novelty giant ties, you know? 135 00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:19,578 - There you go. Merry christmas. - Whoa. 136 00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:23,849 Hey, that's heavy. That's heavier than a tie. 137 00:06:23,851 --> 00:06:27,119 - Heavier than a crock-pot too. 138 00:06:27,121 --> 00:06:30,589 - Come on, open it. Come on. 139 00:06:30,591 --> 00:06:32,691 - Oh, my god. 140 00:06:32,693 --> 00:06:34,626 A dvd player. 141 00:06:37,563 --> 00:06:41,066 - What is that, like a hi-fi? 142 00:06:42,702 --> 00:06:44,136 - What did you do? 143 00:06:44,138 --> 00:06:46,071 - She got you a dvd player. 144 00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:48,407 - Yes, isn't that cool? 145 00:06:48,409 --> 00:06:50,075 This is the best one they make. 146 00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:51,777 - What'd you do that for? 147 00:06:51,779 --> 00:06:54,813 - Yeah, what the hell? 148 00:06:54,815 --> 00:06:56,014 - Oh, I got you some movies too. 149 00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:58,617 - Oh, no. 150 00:06:58,619 --> 00:07:00,118 - What, don't you like it? 151 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:01,686 - No, I love it. It's just-- 152 00:07:01,688 --> 00:07:03,021 It's more than I expected, you know? 153 00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:06,525 I would have been happy with the tie. 154 00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:07,859 - I knew you would like this. 155 00:07:07,861 --> 00:07:09,194 I love my pots. 156 00:07:09,196 --> 00:07:11,496 I'm going to try them out right now. 157 00:07:11,498 --> 00:07:15,534 - Well, I better go help her. They're not magic pots. 158 00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:26,144 - Nice going, raymond. No golf. 159 00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:28,814 I know, instead of playing at myrtle beach this spring, 160 00:07:28,816 --> 00:07:30,015 I'll just hang myself 161 00:07:30,017 --> 00:07:33,752 With the world's tackiest noose. 162 00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:35,554 - Hey, look, don't blame me, all right? 163 00:07:35,556 --> 00:07:37,556 You're the one who told me she was giving me the tie. 164 00:07:37,558 --> 00:07:39,524 You gave me faulty information. 165 00:07:39,526 --> 00:07:40,892 - No, she fooled us. She's too good. 166 00:07:40,894 --> 00:07:43,061 I'm not cut out for this! 167 00:07:47,166 --> 00:07:48,667 - What did you do? 168 00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:49,901 Try to soften her up with a big present 169 00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:51,736 So you could go play golf? 170 00:07:51,738 --> 00:07:53,171 - For your information, dad, 171 00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:54,606 It's a little more complicated than that. 172 00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:57,142 - You're an idiot. 173 00:07:57,144 --> 00:08:01,046 Give me that chocolate. 174 00:08:01,048 --> 00:08:03,248 Sit down. 175 00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:07,018 Let me tell you something about women. 176 00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:08,487 You think you got to butter them up 177 00:08:08,489 --> 00:08:10,155 To get what you want. 178 00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:12,624 That is a poor man's game. 179 00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:16,728 "oh, sweetums, here are some flowers. 180 00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:20,265 Can I go to the lodge?" 181 00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:21,800 Not for me. 182 00:08:21,802 --> 00:08:24,870 Not for me! 183 00:08:24,872 --> 00:08:29,074 I don't do that "nice" crap. 184 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,278 - So how do you get what you want? 185 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:37,883 - I've learned to do without. 186 00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:49,060 - Look, this would have worked 187 00:08:49,062 --> 00:08:51,029 If I'd gotten that stupid tie. 188 00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:53,031 - Oh, you want the tie? I'll take the dvd thing. 189 00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:54,699 - Put that down. You're not taking that. 190 00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:57,736 - Hey! You don't get it, do you? 191 00:08:57,738 --> 00:08:59,671 It's staring you right in the face. 192 00:08:59,673 --> 00:09:01,072 - What? 193 00:09:01,074 --> 00:09:02,274 - You're so worried about your offense, 194 00:09:02,276 --> 00:09:04,776 You didn't play defense. 195 00:09:04,778 --> 00:09:06,011 The question isn't 196 00:09:06,013 --> 00:09:07,979 "why didn't she give me that tie?" 197 00:09:07,981 --> 00:09:09,180 The question is 198 00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:13,018 "why did she give me that dvd thing?" 199 00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:15,654 - What are you talking about? 200 00:09:15,656 --> 00:09:17,289 I'm her husband. She's my wife. 201 00:09:17,291 --> 00:09:20,225 Don't I deserve a great... 202 00:09:28,034 --> 00:09:30,168 - Amateurs. 203 00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:36,341 You're saying that debra got ray a dvd player 204 00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:38,276 Because she wants something from him? 205 00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:42,280 - Of course. Where you been? 206 00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:43,848 - Wait. But that's so weasely. 207 00:09:43,850 --> 00:09:45,050 That's not her. That's-- 208 00:09:45,052 --> 00:09:49,154 - You. - Yes. 209 00:09:49,156 --> 00:09:51,990 - Okay, who wants a little hot chocolate? 210 00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:53,692 I heated up the milk 211 00:09:53,694 --> 00:09:56,294 In my new 2-quart saucepan. 212 00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:59,264 Here you go. Here you go. 213 00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:01,199 Thanks again for these pots, ray. 214 00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:02,601 I really love them. 215 00:10:02,603 --> 00:10:04,102 - Hmm. 216 00:10:08,107 --> 00:10:12,310 Oh, I got me a black magic woman. 217 00:10:19,885 --> 00:10:22,621 - Thanks for the golf, raymond. 218 00:10:22,623 --> 00:10:24,122 - Will you shut up about the stupid golf? 219 00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:25,724 There's bigger things here. 220 00:10:25,726 --> 00:10:27,993 - Yeah, like what? - Like, what is she up to? 221 00:10:27,995 --> 00:10:29,761 What's she sucking up to me for? 222 00:10:29,763 --> 00:10:31,062 - Maybe she wants to sleep 223 00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:36,034 With the bagboy from the a&p. 224 00:10:36,036 --> 00:10:38,737 - Yeah, I'm serious, dad. 225 00:10:38,739 --> 00:10:41,373 - Have you seen the bagboy? 226 00:10:41,375 --> 00:10:42,874 - Will you stop? 227 00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:46,144 - Hey, don't shoot the messenger. 228 00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:48,113 - Come on, come on. I got to think. 229 00:10:48,115 --> 00:10:52,117 What does she want? What do women want? 230 00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:02,027 - I think it's the bagboy. 231 00:11:04,263 --> 00:11:06,297 - All right, I'm gonna find out what's up. 232 00:11:06,299 --> 00:11:10,402 - I think his name is larry. 233 00:11:10,404 --> 00:11:12,037 - Hey, deb. 234 00:11:12,039 --> 00:11:13,772 - Raymond, I'm making brownies for later. 235 00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:15,040 Would you like to lick the beater? 236 00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:17,375 - No, no, mom. 237 00:11:17,377 --> 00:11:19,411 Okay, yeah, okay. 238 00:11:22,782 --> 00:11:24,983 Listen, deb, I want to ask you something. 239 00:11:24,985 --> 00:11:28,253 - Yeah, whatever you want, honey. 240 00:11:28,255 --> 00:11:30,722 Mmm, chocolate. 241 00:11:32,291 --> 00:11:33,992 - All right, what's with you today? 242 00:11:33,994 --> 00:11:35,293 - Nothing. It's christmas. 243 00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:36,861 The kids are having fun. 244 00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:38,229 I'm having a nice time with your mom. 245 00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:40,031 I'm just happy. 246 00:11:48,107 --> 00:11:50,108 So what did you want, ray? 247 00:11:50,110 --> 00:11:53,178 - What did I want? What did I want? 248 00:11:53,180 --> 00:11:56,047 - I know what he wants-- walnuts in the brownies. 249 00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:59,150 - Not now, mom, I-- okay, yeah. 250 00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:05,390 All right, here's what I want. 251 00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:08,293 Um, the guys are thinking of going to myrtle beach 252 00:12:08,295 --> 00:12:10,762 For a weekend for golf, and, uh, 253 00:12:10,764 --> 00:12:12,363 I was thinking I want to go with them. 254 00:12:12,365 --> 00:12:14,899 Yeah. How does that grab you? 255 00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:16,234 - For a whole weekend? 256 00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:18,036 - Yeah, a whole week-- a matter of fact, 257 00:12:18,038 --> 00:12:19,771 I think it's a three-day weekend. 258 00:12:19,773 --> 00:12:21,106 So yeah, I feel like going. 259 00:12:21,108 --> 00:12:22,307 I think I'm going to go. 260 00:12:22,309 --> 00:12:24,109 All right? 261 00:12:24,111 --> 00:12:26,745 - Well, that's three days with just me and the kids. 262 00:12:26,747 --> 00:12:28,213 - Yep. 263 00:12:30,349 --> 00:12:31,750 - You should go. 264 00:12:36,889 --> 00:12:41,025 - All right, what's going on? 265 00:12:53,205 --> 00:12:55,840 - What is going on with you? 266 00:12:55,842 --> 00:12:58,243 Give me that. 267 00:13:04,884 --> 00:13:09,287 What is wrong with you? 268 00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:10,488 - I want to know what's going on 269 00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:12,056 With the kissing and the marshmallows 270 00:13:12,058 --> 00:13:13,291 And the letting me play golf 271 00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:15,894 And the big expensive dvd player. 272 00:13:15,896 --> 00:13:17,796 - Is that what this is? 273 00:13:17,798 --> 00:13:19,564 You're worried about how much it cost? 274 00:13:19,566 --> 00:13:22,200 - Yes. What is the cost... 275 00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:24,869 To me? 276 00:13:24,871 --> 00:13:26,504 - What is a dvd player? 277 00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:28,406 - Come on. Not now, mom. Please. 278 00:13:28,408 --> 00:13:31,509 - Is it for pornography? 279 00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:38,983 - Yes, marie, 280 00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:42,253 I got ray a porn machine for christmas. 281 00:13:45,157 --> 00:13:49,360 - I don't like that, debra. 282 00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:52,197 - Look, don't--don't change the subject here. 283 00:13:52,199 --> 00:13:53,832 I don't like being played. 284 00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:55,400 - You think I got you that dvd thing 285 00:13:55,402 --> 00:13:57,335 Because I want something? 286 00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:59,103 - No, because you love me. 287 00:13:59,105 --> 00:14:00,471 Come on, huh? 288 00:14:00,473 --> 00:14:02,440 What is it? What do you want? 289 00:14:05,077 --> 00:14:08,046 - We're waiting. 290 00:14:12,384 --> 00:14:14,419 - I don't want anything. 291 00:14:14,421 --> 00:14:16,154 I was trying to get you something 292 00:14:16,156 --> 00:14:18,156 I thought might make you happy, 293 00:14:18,158 --> 00:14:21,092 Because as a matter of fact, 294 00:14:21,094 --> 00:14:24,996 I do love you and it's christmas 295 00:14:24,998 --> 00:14:29,300 And I wanted to get you a dvd player. 296 00:14:35,574 --> 00:14:39,477 - Oh, uh, well... 297 00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:43,882 Thanks then. 298 00:14:43,884 --> 00:14:45,984 I'm going to go set it up. 299 00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:49,254 - Wait, just--just a minute. 300 00:14:49,256 --> 00:14:50,455 Did you get me those pots 301 00:14:50,457 --> 00:14:52,156 So I would let you play golf? 302 00:14:52,158 --> 00:14:55,526 - Whoa, whoa, whoa. Come on. 303 00:14:55,528 --> 00:14:57,528 What? Where's this coming from? 304 00:14:57,530 --> 00:15:00,665 - Unbelievable. 305 00:15:00,667 --> 00:15:04,135 - Oh, that's terrible, raymond. 306 00:15:09,375 --> 00:15:10,909 - You tried to bribe me. 307 00:15:10,911 --> 00:15:12,410 - No, it's not bribing. It's just-- 308 00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:13,945 It's getting you something nice 309 00:15:13,947 --> 00:15:16,547 So you would give me something nice, huh? 310 00:15:16,549 --> 00:15:17,949 I got you this engagement ring 311 00:15:17,951 --> 00:15:19,150 So you would marry me. 312 00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:22,020 - Yeah, I fell for that one too. 313 00:15:22,022 --> 00:15:24,222 - We should keep our voices down. 314 00:15:24,224 --> 00:15:27,191 - You know, marie, would you mind? 315 00:15:27,193 --> 00:15:28,493 - But I'm baking. 316 00:15:28,495 --> 00:15:30,094 - I'm trying to talk to my husband. 317 00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:33,197 - Fine, debra. 318 00:15:43,108 --> 00:15:44,309 - Yeah, so what, ray? 319 00:15:44,311 --> 00:15:45,710 Is this what you always do? 320 00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:47,211 Have you ever gotten me a present 321 00:15:47,213 --> 00:15:49,113 Without expecting something in return? 322 00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:50,682 - Yes, yes, plenty of times. - Yeah, yeah. 323 00:15:50,684 --> 00:15:52,650 It's just like the kissing. 324 00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:54,052 You only kiss me 'cause you think it's going to lead to sex. 325 00:15:54,054 --> 00:15:55,520 - Oh, baby, that is not true. 326 00:15:55,522 --> 00:15:57,055 - Oh. 327 00:15:57,057 --> 00:15:58,556 You know, the worst part 328 00:15:58,558 --> 00:16:00,258 Isn't that you're a manipulative jerk. 329 00:16:00,260 --> 00:16:02,193 It's that you think I'm like you. 330 00:16:02,195 --> 00:16:04,696 - No, I don't think you're manipulative. 331 00:16:04,698 --> 00:16:06,264 I think you're pretty. 332 00:16:13,005 --> 00:16:14,305 Come on! 333 00:16:22,748 --> 00:16:26,084 Those could have had walnuts in them. 334 00:16:28,587 --> 00:16:31,189 Look, uh, if it's going to be a problem, 335 00:16:31,191 --> 00:16:32,390 I don't have to golf, all right? 336 00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:33,992 - Is that all you care about? 337 00:16:33,994 --> 00:16:35,493 - No, that's just it. I don't care. 338 00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:37,996 I don't care, all right? I don't care at all. 339 00:16:37,998 --> 00:16:41,566 It's just--it's just... 340 00:16:41,568 --> 00:16:44,268 Robert might hang himself. 341 00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:52,076 - You know what? Oh, I don't care. 342 00:16:52,078 --> 00:16:55,079 I said you could play golf, just go play golf. 343 00:16:58,317 --> 00:17:01,319 - All right, well, thank you. 344 00:17:01,321 --> 00:17:03,121 - Whatever. 345 00:17:03,123 --> 00:17:04,589 - Listen... 346 00:17:04,591 --> 00:17:07,658 If there's something fun that you want to do, 347 00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:09,060 Then you should do it. 348 00:17:09,062 --> 00:17:10,361 - Yep, all right. 349 00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,430 - No. Come on, you deserve to have fun too. 350 00:17:12,432 --> 00:17:14,499 - Yeah, okay. 351 00:17:14,501 --> 00:17:18,503 When the kids go to college, I'll see a movie. 352 00:17:18,505 --> 00:17:19,737 - You don't have to wait. 353 00:17:19,739 --> 00:17:21,272 You want to go to the movies? Go. 354 00:17:21,274 --> 00:17:23,307 Go to the movies. Go today if you want. 355 00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:25,143 - Yeah, I'm going to go on christmas. 356 00:17:25,145 --> 00:17:28,046 - Jewish people do. 357 00:17:29,615 --> 00:17:31,682 All right, then you go. Go this weekend. 358 00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:33,451 - Yeah, like that'll happen. 359 00:17:33,453 --> 00:17:36,054 - I'm saying it'll happen. Go to the movies. 360 00:17:36,056 --> 00:17:37,422 Come on. I'll take care of the kids. 361 00:17:37,424 --> 00:17:38,689 I'll take care of everything. 362 00:17:38,691 --> 00:17:41,259 Come on, it'll make me feel better. 363 00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:42,527 I don't want to get 364 00:17:42,529 --> 00:17:46,464 A dvd player and golf and niceness 365 00:17:46,466 --> 00:17:50,735 And you get...Pots. 366 00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:52,670 Come on. Go to the movies. 367 00:17:52,672 --> 00:17:54,205 - Thanks anyway, honey. 368 00:17:54,207 --> 00:17:55,406 - Come on, it's like you don't even want 369 00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:56,607 To go to the movies. 370 00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:59,811 - It's okay. 371 00:17:59,813 --> 00:18:02,180 - Wait a minute. 372 00:18:02,182 --> 00:18:07,718 You want to not go to the movies. 373 00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:09,187 - What? 374 00:18:09,189 --> 00:18:10,455 - Yeah, that's right. 375 00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:12,190 Because then if you go to the movies, 376 00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:13,391 You don't get to say, 377 00:18:13,393 --> 00:18:15,193 "I never get to go to the movies." 378 00:18:15,195 --> 00:18:16,661 - When do I say that? 379 00:18:16,663 --> 00:18:17,862 - You say that all the time. 380 00:18:17,864 --> 00:18:19,263 "I never get to do anything." 381 00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:20,832 And you love that. 382 00:18:20,834 --> 00:18:23,501 You're like one of those whatever you call them. 383 00:18:23,503 --> 00:18:25,203 - A martyr? - Yes. 384 00:18:25,205 --> 00:18:26,637 - I'm not a martyr. 385 00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:29,340 - Then how come I don't help out around here? 386 00:18:36,281 --> 00:18:38,683 - How come you don't help out around here? 387 00:18:38,685 --> 00:18:40,718 - Because you don't want me to! 388 00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:42,487 'cause-- 'cause you want to do it all 389 00:18:42,489 --> 00:18:45,756 Because then you can feel superior. 390 00:18:47,759 --> 00:18:49,694 - You, uh... 391 00:18:49,696 --> 00:18:53,764 - You stammer because you know I speak truth. 392 00:18:56,268 --> 00:18:57,568 - Do you know how close you are 393 00:18:57,570 --> 00:19:00,338 To the end of your life? 394 00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:02,240 - I'm not scared. 395 00:19:02,242 --> 00:19:04,709 I'm not scared because I'm onto something here, hmm? 396 00:19:04,711 --> 00:19:07,745 Like the dvd player. Why? 397 00:19:07,747 --> 00:19:10,748 Why? 398 00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:14,519 Why, after--after years of-- of complaining 399 00:19:14,521 --> 00:19:17,622 That all I do is lay around and watch television 400 00:19:17,624 --> 00:19:20,791 Would you buy me a device 401 00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:24,362 That is designed to make 402 00:19:24,364 --> 00:19:30,368 The television-watching experience even better? 403 00:19:33,772 --> 00:19:38,876 We must ask ourselves... 404 00:19:38,878 --> 00:19:41,245 Why? 405 00:19:53,559 --> 00:19:55,426 - You're right. 406 00:19:55,428 --> 00:19:59,830 Why the hell would I buy you a dvd player? 407 00:19:59,832 --> 00:20:02,233 - You have problems. - I do. 408 00:20:02,235 --> 00:20:03,434 What is wrong with me? 409 00:20:03,436 --> 00:20:06,504 - I do not know. 410 00:20:06,506 --> 00:20:07,838 - I should make you 411 00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:10,208 Help me out more around here. 412 00:20:10,210 --> 00:20:13,444 - Well, it's not like I have nothing to do. I mean-- 413 00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:15,913 - No, really. You know, I just--I work too hard. 414 00:20:15,915 --> 00:20:17,615 I don't need to be a martyr. 415 00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:23,221 - I don't think you want to give it up cold turkey. 416 00:20:23,223 --> 00:20:25,923 - You know what? I've been up since 5:00. 417 00:20:25,925 --> 00:20:27,658 I'm going to go take a nap. 418 00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:30,628 - Okay, but what about the christmas dinner? 419 00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:32,663 - Your mom can make it. She wants to anyway. 420 00:20:32,665 --> 00:20:33,864 Listen, would you mind 421 00:20:33,866 --> 00:20:35,700 Straightening up the living room? 422 00:20:35,702 --> 00:20:37,001 And then make sure the kids get washed and dressed, okay? 423 00:20:37,003 --> 00:20:38,536 Thanks, that'd help me out a lot. 424 00:20:38,538 --> 00:20:39,737 - Okay, look, I'll do those things, 425 00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:40,938 But then I get to golf, right? 426 00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:44,008 - Uh, no, I don't think so. 427 00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:45,543 I mean, look. 428 00:20:45,545 --> 00:20:46,978 How could I not think of myself as a martyr 429 00:20:46,980 --> 00:20:48,546 If I'm stuck at home with the kids by myself 430 00:20:48,548 --> 00:20:50,314 While you're out golfing with your buddies? 431 00:20:50,316 --> 00:20:54,919 - You know, about martyrs, a lot of them became saints. 432 00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:56,520 - No, you're right. 433 00:20:56,522 --> 00:20:59,390 And thank you because you really helped me. 434 00:20:59,392 --> 00:21:02,693 This is a great christmas. 435 00:21:02,695 --> 00:21:04,028 - But... 436 00:21:04,030 --> 00:21:06,530 Look, oh... 437 00:21:06,532 --> 00:21:10,901 That's not really what I was talking about. 438 00:21:10,903 --> 00:21:13,037 What are you doing there? 439 00:21:13,039 --> 00:21:15,539 - Dusting. 440 00:21:24,483 --> 00:21:25,850 - Marie, come on. Come here. 441 00:21:25,852 --> 00:21:27,051 - What? 442 00:21:27,053 --> 00:21:30,321 What is it? 443 00:21:30,323 --> 00:21:31,989 - Here. 444 00:21:31,991 --> 00:21:33,658 - For me? 445 00:21:33,660 --> 00:21:36,060 - Yeah. Merry christmas. 446 00:21:36,062 --> 00:21:39,964 - Frank, you already gave me lottery tickets. 447 00:21:42,668 --> 00:21:44,669 - Those were a bust. 448 00:21:44,671 --> 00:21:46,704 Just open it. 449 00:21:47,974 --> 00:21:51,409 Oh, frank, earrings. 450 00:21:51,411 --> 00:21:53,044 They're beautiful. 451 00:21:53,046 --> 00:21:55,813 Oh, thank you. 452 00:21:55,815 --> 00:21:58,949 - Okay, listen, just one thing. 453 00:21:58,951 --> 00:22:02,553 You didn't get those from me. 31479

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