All language subtitles for Dead.Boy.Detectives.S01E07.NF.WEBRip

Previously on
Dead Boy Detectives...

Keep meticulous notes.
You can puzzle your way out of a jam.

I wanna keep David out of my head.

I think my powers are gone.

Human connections
were never easy for me when I was alive.

There are these feelings.

I have feelings for you too.

I wasn't talking about you.

He's luring you into a trap!

You're a crow!

If you could just go ahead
and get consumed forever...

The women in our family are rare.

We can tap into a shared strength.

Can I get my powers back?

Let's all go to the afterlife
so thoughtfully appointed to us.

He doesn't belong in Hell.
He was there on a technicality.

Give this little prat a proper scare.

I was sacrificed by classmates
who didn't know what they were doing.

A technicality, you say?

Charles!

Edwin!

I'm gonna wring
that chic little kitty's goddamn neck.

So, things didn't work out
with your little stuffy ghost boyfriend.

What do you want?

I'm terrifically busy with my ennui.

- Ouch.
- Oh.

Did I upset you,
or is this a sexy choking?

Those dead boys threw off
my snake's feeding, disrespected me,

and they escaped my revenge plans,

and all of it was for nothing.

Oh, God.

Oh, my God. They say that I'm a pussy.

You are so annoying.

"I need to be young. I wanna be pretty."

"I want revenge on everyone all the time."

Why the fuck are you here?

Because I know you blew up Monty's spot,
you little fucking snitch.

- Oh, God.
- I almost had the element of surprise.

Monty, Monty, Monty!

Your little crow boy caught feelings,
and you blame me.

Oh, you bet I do, baby cakes.

You thought that mushrooms
could take down those ghosts.

That is so cute.

Edwin has been through more pain
than you or I could ever imagine.

Um...

What do you mean "more pain"?

He survived Hell.

And when he escapes Hell again,
I'll be waiting for him.

God, I am such a romantic, I hate it.

That is such an interesting little gem.

I think I just came up with a new plan.
Mmm.

I don't give a fuck, okay?
End of audience. Buh-bye.

How about I take out
my pent-up aggression on you?

Newsflash, Wrinkles.

I'm not a common being.
Magic doesn't work on me.

Yeah, we know, but...
there is more than one way

- to skin a cat.
- Skin a cat.

- I hate that joke.
- I know.

That was my third life, you bitch.
I only get nine.

Would you fuck off?

You know, with most ghosts...

Fuck!

If you inflict pain on them,
they just disintegrate.

Which is useless, really.

But a tortured ghost, who's escaped Hell...

I mean, imagine the suffering that...
That he could endure.

And that is...

fascinating.

He can't make you young.

No, but he can give me power.

Powerful enough to give this town
what it really deserves.

Hey, keep your paws off of him.

Oh.

Do be a good kitty
and stay out of my way, hmm?

Or I'll have to kill you again.

And again. Mmm.

And again.

What the hell was that?

A demon from Hell.

I'd say from one of the middle levels.

Oh, horror.

No, you said you'd sort us out,
that you wouldn't send him back yet.

Holy shit. You're still alive?

Old news, dear. Do keep up.

Leave it out! Old news, is it?

Then the new news is
she fed us a load of tosh

about giving us a chance in the afterlife,

and summoned something
to send Edwin back to Hell.

Edwin's in Hell?

Look, I had nothing to do
with what just happened here.

Something in my letter
must've alerted the demon.

Perhaps it was already looking for him.

If you think there's any possibility
Edwin being in Hell is a mistake,

then you have to get him. Like, a must.

Technically, yes.
But it's very much out of my jurisdiction.

You said you're an infinite
trans-dimensional being.

- Mentioned it several times.
- You've clarified it a lot.

All right, all right, you little beasts.

It's easy enough to open a door to Hell,
but no one wants to go there.

The number of permits and approvals
I'd have to push through.

Right. Right, then...
Then open up a door, and I'll go get him.

Then we're stuck in Hell,
and you know where we are,

or... Or I bring him back,
and we're all yours.

It's a win-win.

Wait, losing more friends to Hell
is not the best plan. It's Hell.

Who's getting lost?

You'll never be able to navigate Hell.

It's more than just
the fiery wastelands of Lucifer.

That's only the very bottom.

You're just a boy.
And there are entire worlds...

Edwin's told me stories about Hell.
And he's written most of it down.

I'll know where to go because,
well, he figured out how to get out.

I'll have to work backwards, won't I?

Then I'm coming too.

No, you're not.

What kind of bullshit is that?

We gotta have a unified front
with Mistress of Doom out there.

Hell is no place for the living.

- And nothing comes back alive.
- Oh.

I can't be worried about you
when I need to focus...

Jesus. You have never been to Hell.
Stop acting like an expert.

Look, when I got possessed,
when I nearly ran off a cliff,

when I screwed up and lost my powers,
you both helped me.

And now I have them back, and then some.

Look what I did to Esther
and that Forest Elemental.

God, Edwin is my friend too,
whether he likes it or not.

- I can help.
- What if something happens to you?

What if something happens to you?

Crystal...

No.

I can't just sit and wait.

If you won't let me go,
I'll find my own way to help.

Fucking bullshit. Like I can't help.

The quiet thing
is never gonna happen with you, is it?

Hey, Jenny. I'm just gonna go and get
my demon ex to open a portal to Hell...

God, that's fucking insane.

Um, just forget that.

- The ex that was abusive?
- Yeah.

- Should you be going alone?
- Yes.

Fucking kid.

All of this bickering is pointless.

No one here is going to Hell.

- No, Edwin is...
- And if I did help,

there's no reason you'll keep your word
and come to the afterlife with me.

If you don't believe he'll keep the deal,
then do the inside-his-head magic.

- It's what you did on the cliff, right?
- Excuse me?

He wouldn't lie to you.

Can't you just look in his mind
and find out if you can trust him?

Oh, for goodness' sake.

Back up! Back up!

Who's there?

What do you want?

You can see me?

I... I thought
perhaps this lantern would help.

You can simply extinguish it
if any of those boys come up here.

- You saw them?
- I did.

I went to school here a long time ago.
We had bullies too.

Rest assured.

I shan't hurt you.

Cheers, mate.

I'm freezing.

Never been this cold in my life.

Just didn't seem right.

Letting that kid get beat on
'cause he's from Pakistan.

I mean, I'm half Indian.
Why am I so different?

That is a fair point.

They were the same country
back when I was alive.

Right.

Wait, what?

- Are you all right?
- I'm fine. Just answer my question.

- 1913 to 1916.
- Bullshit.

When did you go to school here for reals?

1913 to 1916.

I am dead, Charles.

Oh.

Actually, you can move
around any space however you like.

It is not that you cannot touch things,
you just cannot feel them.

It's stupid, but...

I think I'd miss kissing.

Do you miss kissing?

Mmm-mmm.

Shut up, mate.

That is brills.
Why don't you fall through the floor?

There are many, many
so-called ghost rules.

I shan't waste your time with them.

Only asked about the floor.

Because I choose
not to fall through the floor. Happy?

"'Do you believe in ghosts, Max?'
inquired Mr. Carlyle."

"'Only as ghosts, '
replied Detective Carrados with decision."

"When they begin to interfere
in business matters, depreciate property..."

♪ Might have known what you would find ♪

♪ Wish I knew what you were looking for... ♪

"...I cease to believe."

Not enjoying this one?

Carrados, the Blind Detective
was just becoming quite popular in my day.

When you could see me,
I knew it was too late.

But I simply...

I did not want to scare you.

Well, I'm glad you didn't say anything.

Doesn't feel like I imagined.

Being dead.

Feels okay, doesn't it?

I wish
we could've been friends for longer.

Death will come for you now.
Go with her when she arrives.

Well, I'm not ready, am I?

I don't wanna go somewhere else yet.

What if I stay here for a bit
with you instead?

Then you will always be running from her.

Also, I'm not good with other people.

And I just came back to this school
after escaping Hell.

So I'm out of practice,
to be perfectly frank.

So when the blue light comes,
you stay and I go.

Well, I'm aces with other people.

I'm pretty chuffed
you got out of Hell, mate.

That sounds hard.

Nice job.

That is not how you make decisions,
based on whatever you feel in the moment.

It's how I lived my life.

Doesn't seem all that different now.

Looks like you're stuck with me.

You really gave up
a potentially tranquil eternity

for your friend?

After seeing that, let me ask you,
is that a person who belongs in Hell?

It's not for me to judge.

I'm telling you,

Edwin is the best person that I know,
and I won't leave him in Hell.

It doesn't sound like
there's another door.

So we can't sneak past you on our way out.

And we will keep our promise
to go with you.

But first,

let me get him.

I shouldn't.

I won't be able to help if you're stuck.

I never asked you to, did I?

You'll need provisions.

I am going to have to fill out
so many forms when I get back.

A mountain of paperwork for me.

Niko.

Keep tabs on her, till...

- Yeah?
- For sure.

How exactly do I do that?

Worry about yourself.

This doorway will not stay open forever.

Hey, you all right?

Oh, I... I didn't mean to startle you.

Have you seen a British teenage boy...

Are you talking to me?
Do you know why I'm here?

Do you know why I'm here?

No. Uh, sorry. No, I don't.

Please. No, please, come back.

Why am I here?

Why am I here?

Why am I here?!

Edwin?

Simon.

You're not real. You're another trick.

- You have to stop that.
- I can't.

Simon, it is me, Edwin.

I need you to be quiet, please.

You've been here all this time?

How long is "all this time"?

Over a century.

It's all right.

The headmaster said I can leave
once I finish tearing out the pages.

- Can you please be quiet?
- No.

Wait.

- Is this your punishment?
- What?

You sacrificed me to a demon,
who traded me to another demon,

who traded me to something worse.

This is your punishment.
An eternity of paper cuts!

I didn't know.

It was a prank. It was just to scare you.

It is right that you're here,
after what you did.

Do you want to know what I went through
down here every day, over and over again?

My reflection.

What the devil?

Oh. What...

What is this place?

Are you a demon?

Not a demon.

Then another ghost?

A phenomenon of some kind?

I don't have my book, so...

A lot of books in that room.

But they're not my books.

What am I?

The answers are Endless, Edwin Payne.

Pretty name.

"Payne."

I am...

- Why are you here?
- You're here.

I'm everywhere.

You're in my realm now,
where I see it all.

But you only get to leave
through the door you came in by.

Look at him.

He's been tearing out the pages
from that silly book

for almost 40,000 days and nights.

And every second

is a tiny, forever ache,

and blood,

and suffering.

Isn't it beautiful?

Can't you just taste it?

You're...

I'm Despair.

And you...

do not belong here.

Go back to your killer.

I was watching.

You were getting angry.

About to gloat over his torment.

Go do that.

No, no, no. I...

Don't worry.

We're friends now.

I would not gloat.

That is not right.

I'll call if ever I need you.

He didn't realize...

Simon.

I didn't come here to gloat.
I would never. You do know that?

Remember that blue cap you used to wear?

I remember you snatching it off me.

You looked very smart in that cap.

But when I tried to tell you,
you just walked away.

You never spoke to me.

I got so embarrassed thinking that we...

We were the same.

Simon.

I...

I was nervous...

around you.

- I didn't realize...
- Do you think it has to be torture?

Being the way we are?

Listen to me.

No, it does not.

And although it is difficult
for me to believe, I feel sorry.

I am sorry.

For both of us.

So am I.

So am I.

I'm going to get out of here again.
You should come with me.

I'm truly sorry for all of this.

For what I did. I didn't know.

I think this is what I deserve.

Simon, if you punish yourself,
everywhere becomes Hell.

The headmaster will be angry.

Simon.

Come with me.

Best of luck.

Did you know that
if someone dies during a waxing moon...

Niko, is it?

I can tell you're nervous.

And whilst I recognize that living humans

seem to enjoy chit-chat
when they're anxious,

I am not a living human.

I'm just worried about my friends.

And I have a lot of questions.

Clearly.

So, my dad died during a gibbous moon.
Where does that place him?

Ah.

Can you please tell me
where my dad is now?

I run the Lost & Found Department.

We only handle
misplaced dead children in the afterlife.

Why am I doing this?

Why indulge these boys
by keeping this doorway open?

I do have other work, you know.

Sounds like you have a really sad job.

Not everyone gets to do
their very favorite thing all of the time.

That is true, no matter who you are.

David?

I know you're in here.
It smells like rotting fish.

- David.
- What the fuck?

Holy shit. Jenny.

- You shouldn't be here.
- No, you shouldn't be here.

Crystal, I care about you.

Uh, about your safety.

And this example
of the death of small-town America

is the exact wrong place to be meeting up
with an abusive, probably dangerous ex.

You know, it's been a while
since I had a ménage à trois,

but it's like riding a bike.

- Jenny, wait outside.
- No.

I don't know what you're trying to prove,
but I know you're scared.

Just wait here, okay?

Now that I don't want you anymore,
here you are.

Desperation, it's...

You got your powers back.

Okay!

Maybe I'm the one
changing my tune now, huh?

Do I get to be a god again?

Wrap myself back up in you?

Never again.

I need you to open
a portal to Hell for me.

Never gonna happen, ever.
Why the fuck would you even want that?

I am stronger now.

Don't make me make you do it.

Oh, wow! A threat.

Just cut this shit.

I'm only here to help my friends.

You were the only
alternative route to Hell.

- I thought you were a lot stronger.
- I am.

I'm not the sad, lonely girl
you want me to be.

The one who needs you.
I have friends who care about me.

You don't scare me anymore.

Hey, give her some space, kid.

Jenny, I got this. Please?

People who care about you, huh?

Mmm.

Get off!

How about if you hurt your friend here,
I'll open the door.

- This is between us.
- Ooh.

Super-brave hiding inside Jenny.

Oh, no! You thinking I'm brave
is so important to me.

I wonder what you'll think
when I slice you up!

♪ Walking through
The summer's end ♪

♪ Waves crash, baby, don't look back... ♪

Very funny, Crystal. So, what?
You learned some new little tricks?

I guess I did.

This place...

This is my place.

It was never yours.

Now leave Jenny's body
and let me into Hell.

If you won't,
then what good are you to me?

I never wanted to be good to you.

Nice try.

This might be your mind, but I actually
know my way around here pretty well.

♪ Circle in the sand ♪

♪ Cold wind, tide moves in ♪

♪ Shivers in the salty air ♪

I can't open a door to Hell,
you stupid bitch.

Don't you think if I could go back,
I would've?

Shit.

It's nice to see you
back to your old self.

Hurting people, enjoying that
copper taste in your mouth you get

when you cause someone a lot of pain.

Oh, I'm sorry, you probably
don't even remember that.

Okay.

You can't help me get to Hell,
but at least we can maybe fix one thing.

No more holding my stolen memories
over my head.

♪ And you complete the heart of me ♪

These are mine, asshole.

Oh!

This is your big moment? Really?

You think you're gonna like
what you find out in those?

I'm an ancient demon! You can't kill me!

I don't care
how powerful you think you are.

I'm never gonna stop
hunting you after this.

Ooh.

Bad move revealing your plan.

I don't have to kill you, David.

I can just...

...bury you.

And I think I know the perfect place.

What did you do? Where are we?

Look, what you brought with you.

The mouth on this one.

I'm gonna give you time
to think about your plan to hunt me down.

Wait, Crystal.

Maybe... Maybe I can
open a doorway for you, okay?

Maybe I was just
fucking with you.

You're lying. I can tell now.

I can see it in those pitch-black eyes.

Fuck! Fine. You got your memories back.

Just put me back
in the roller-skating rink

and I'll disappear. I'll leave you alone.

Still lying.

No, no!

No, no, no.

Just look what you can do.

What did I...

What did I even do?

Don't worry,
you have time to figure it out.

But, um, you can't leave this demon
buried here forever.

It's bad for the tree.

Hey, hey.

What the fuck was that?

Fair question.

Come on.

It is a long story.

Let's just go, okay?

Okay.

Um, hello?

Where am I?

Uh... I...

It's pretty disturbing, isn't it?

But I have moved on from the old revenge
to an entirely new and awful plan.

I'd say it's... It's horrifying.

I just said it was awful.
Let's not get crazy.

You're gonna make me feel bad
about building it.

Esther, why would you build this?

You remember those dead boys
and their girlfriend?

Well, I've received
a very interesting piece of gossip.

One of them has survived Hell.

I'll let you in on a little secret.

This device takes a ghost's pain
and it turns it into the most...

delicious, raw...

...magical power.

And you see,
most ghosts, they just wither away.

But, see, this one,
he's been through Hell,

so I really think
he's gonna be able to suffer through it.

You shouldn't, uh...

So what I'm gonna do is,
I'm gonna take the smiley one,

lock him up in my kitchen somewhere
till he loses his mind,

then take the tortured-through-Hell one,
put him on this device,

and his anguish will give me
oodles of new power, like a battery.

And I'm gonna take that power

and get this goddamn town under my thumb.

And they can worship me

like they should've been doing
for centuries.

What about the girl?

Oh, I still have
a very large snake to feed.

No. No.

I can't sell you anything
to help you make that.

Oh, you think I don't deserve to be a god?

After I've listened to you prattle on?

You... You think that you're the only one
who's ever been screwed over?

You're not.

I fucking deserve this! Mmm.

Mick.

I'm done stealing children
under the cloak of night.

I wanna take them in broad daylight
whenever I want. Is that too much?

I just can't help you.

I won't.

Shoot.

Guess I gotta source
all those objects myself,

- and that's gonna take forever.
- Uh-uh.

Employee-only.

You know, Mick,
I think you might wanna ask yourself,

do you wanna be a walrus
trapped in a man's body

with a few additional regrets?

Or do you wanna be fish food?

This was a mistake.

- A huge mistake.
- Mmm-hmm.

I like my job.

I'm good at my job.

I can't believe I'm risking it
for these two boys

because a happy man in a fish
gave me a glowing ring.

Did you know someone can come back to life
after they die?

Yes.

And what do you mean, "Did you know?"
That's my bloody book.

- Reading that will get you into trouble.
- My dad could come back?

They're called the undead.

I believe, in your popular culture,
they're what's known as zombies.

You wouldn't want him back like that.

Was the man in the fish a zombie?

Honestly, I don't know what he was.

But you remind me of him.

And you liked him, right?

No.

Edwin?

Edwin?

Charles?

Is that you?

Oh, mate, I have...

Edwin!

You have to be
very, very quiet.

Charles, what are you doing here?

I'm here to rescue you.

Someone's gotta do it.

Where'd all the blood go, mate?
You were covered in it.

That was the last me.

What...

It is awful. I know it is awful.

But we have to be quiet.

I run, and it catches me.

It tears me apart and gnaws on me.

Then it all starts again.

Over and over.

For decades.

Over and over and over.

Hey, hey. Let's get you out of here.

The moment I run, it'll chase.

I can't get away from it.

I can't.

Well, I'm here now.

So...

Time for the old shill and dash play.

Squeeze through.
I'll be right behind you. Go!

- Where did they all come from?
- Come on.

None of this horror was here before.

You have to experience Hell
to really see what's here.

Charles! Charles! Charles!

Get off him! Come on.

Come on!

Go, go, go!

There's nothing we can do for them.

And what about the bell?

No, it hurts them.

Come on.

Come on, Charles.

Almost there. Home stretch.

Oh, come on. We're almost out.

It'll have to find another way, so...

I just need a tick.

And also, I cannot believe
you would risk your entire existence

coming to this operatic horror show
for me.

It's so fucking stupid, it's unbelievable.

Sorry. No version of this
where I didn't come get you.

Wait, Charles.

Charles, I...

I'm not mad. I...

I'm...

I've been hiding some things from you.

And since I might not get a chance
to say them again...

You can say whatever it is
you want to say to me,

if we keep moving, please.

I love you.

Great. Love you too. Can we go?

As more than a friend, I'm afraid.

Charles, I'm in love with you.

You don't have to feel the same way.

I just need you to know.

Oh, I get it.

This is like one of those
Orpheus and Eurydice moments, yeah?

I certainly hope not.
That story ends tragically.

Right. Never finished it.

Charles, I'm being quite serious,
in the event that wasn't obvious.

I want you to listen to me.

You, Edwin Payne, are my best mate.

That will never change.

You are the most important person
in the world to me.

And I can't really say that, like,

that I'm in love with you back,

but there's no one else,

no one else,

that I would go to Hell for.

And we've got...

And we've got literally forever
to figure out what the rest means.

As long as we get out of here.

Okay?

Run!

Hurry, please.

- Yeah, we're hurrying!
- We're going as fast as we bloody can!

Come, come, come! Come on!

Oh, my God! You're both still dead
and didn't get trapped in Hell forever!

Didn't wanna say anything,

but I was nervous
that the crazy plan wouldn't work.

I'll get Crystal.

Oh, thank God.

Very impressive, boys.

Now, where were we?

Crystal, the boys are back.

- The boys are back from Hell.
- Mmm-mmm.

- I mean...
- Niko.

Did you just say
someone was back from Hell?

No, I said, "Hello."

Whatever.
I have more important things on my mind.

Yep. Okay, totally fair.
I'm gonna be right back.

Like, so fast.

Jesus.

Look! See, they're back!

Oh, you're safe.

If we're all done,
a deal's a deal.

Now, off you both pop
to the Lost & Found for processing,

and we'll sort this whole mess out.

If you want to say your good-byes,
I'll give you 30 seconds or so.

I'm not unreasonable.

Charles, what does she mean by
"a deal's a deal"?

It was the only way
that she'd let me get to Hell.

I'm sorry.

I figured we'd have time to make a plan
on the way up, but...

But how do you plan for a giant spider
made out of baby doll heads?

- Oh, no.
- Uh...

I'm sorry.

Did you both do
an overdose of SRIs in Hell?

Are they giving out free Xanax?

- You can't let her take you away.
- Think we have to.

Oh, bullshit. A good detective
does what he must to close the case.

You both said that.

Excuse me. I have a question.

She was like this
the entire time you were gone.

So many questions.

Ask, if you must.

Thank you.

Um...

Okay.

According to page 179,
subsection 14, paragraph 2,

there's a clause that states that

if the spirits to be collected
are on Earth

after traveling to another plane,

you have to file something
called a Schedule LS 53-9

to remove said spirits
from the mortal plane for a second time.

Doesn't going to Hell
count as another plane?

And now don't you need to file that form
before you can remove them?

Hmm.

I, uh...

I will have to take this up
with my superior.

Honestly,

this is what I get for being helpful?

This is what I get for being receptive?

Don't go far.

What was that?

- Niko, that was amazing.
- Thank you.

I know I'm not the bravest,

but I have excellent
reading comprehension skills.

Oh, did you guys know? Zombies are real.

Funny old life, innit?

Funny old death.

Well, either way, we're both still here.

Charles?

I want to say I'm sorry
if my confession created some...

It didn't.

We should probably get out of town
before that Night Nurse comes back.

Be nice to get back to London.

No more bracelet here.

Happy to go.

How's Jenny?

Resting, but unhappy.

God. I gotta figure out
what I'm gonna tell her.

"Bad fever dream" won't cut it,

but she really doesn't like
the "possessed by a demon" of it all.

It was foolish of you
to risk confronting David without us.

It was the craziest thing.

I found out my friend got dragged to Hell,
and I had to try and save him.

Ah, yes.

- Well...
- Never made it to Hell, though.

Not much help, after all.

Well, I still call it a huge win.

Where exactly did you trap David?

It's sort of this whole new thing
I'm still figuring out.

But he's gone for now.

And, yeah,

I'm good.

Good.

And here's what it's all been about.

My memories.

What do you do with them now?

♪ Believer ♪

♪ Took me over like a fever ♪

♪ Caught you hiding
In the smoke, smoke, smoke ♪

♪ Like a meteor, I glow, glow, glow ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Lay your red hand on me, baby ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ As I go ♪

♪ Into the sea ♪

♪ Out of fire ♪

♪ All that burning ♪

♪ Into the sea ♪

♪ Out of fire ♪

♪ All that burning ♪

♪ Into the sea ♪

♪ Out of fire ♪

♪ All that burning ♪

♪ Into the sea ♪

♪ Out of fire ♪

♪ All that burning ♪