All language subtitles for Young Sheldon S07E09 A Fancy Article and a Scholarship for a Baby

Previously on Young Sheldon... Hello.

I'm here for tutoring
with Sheldon.

Oh, he's helping you?
Isn't that nice?

I'm tutoring him.

Come on.
I just gave you a hint.

We solve for the geodesics.

- Wrong.
- Ow!

What?

Sorry, just a funny part
of the Bible.

Oh, Shelly,

you got a package
from your little friend.

Dr. Sturgis sent me something?
He's so cute.

No, your tutor friend
from Germany.

Mei-Tung was not my tutor,
she just assisted me

in learning things
I didn't understand yet.

What'd you get?

It's the latest issue

of the International
Physics Review.

"Sheldon, check out page 58.

"I never thought
I'd be published

in such a prestigious journal."

Wow, good for her.

Good for her?
What kind of monster sends mail

across multiple time zones just
to rub their success in my face?

Indulging the ramblings
of a child.

My respect for this
esteemed journal is plummeting.

Oh, my.

What is it?

It's the paper I wrote
with Mei-Tung.

I'm the coauthor
of an article

in a highly esteemed
physics journal.

Well, that's neat, Sheldon.

Neat is a robot that doesn't
look like a truck

that turns into a truck.

This treatise
revolutionizes

the theory of manifolds.

What word would you
like me to use?

How about... transformative?

Sheldon, that's transformative.

Thank you.

- Hey.
- Hey, how was school?

Good. I got an "A."

That's amazing!

She gets an "amazing"?

All-all she did was color
inside the lines.

She tell you?

Yes, so great.

Dad, I got published in
International Physics Review.

Nice, buddy.

Ooh, new boat catalog.

♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪

♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain

♪ I bet I could be your hero

♪ I am a mighty little man

♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪

An "A"?

That's nice, sweetie.

It's Medford from the year
I was born.

Aren't we going a little
overboard with this "A" thing?

Hey, some of us
never got an "A."

Really?
Not even one?

If only they graded lunch.

I'll have you know,
I love my body.

Shelly,

tell your meemaw
about your fancy article.

Gladly. As an alternative
to the Calabi-Yau manifold,

we've come up with a new shape

to compactify the extra
dimensions in string theory.

Well...

hot dog.

Hot dog?

Maybe explain it
a little more simply.

She means dumb it down.

Hey. But, yeah.

You know how
a Moöbius strip generalized

to the third dimension is
a Klein bottle?

Dumber.

A Moöbius strip is
a two-dimensional manifold

that's embedded in... Dumber.

Do you know what a square is?

- Yes.
- Cube?

Of course.

Then you know what
a C-8 octachoron is.

And for your information,
I've lost a little weight.

You got to eat them
Cheerios,

they're good for you.

You can tell 'cause there
ain't no cartoon on the box.

Now, Cocoa Puffs

got that bird on 'em,
and he's cuckoo for 'em.

Maybe she'd like some bananas
or some applesauce?

She don't like
none of that.

Any of that.

Any of what?

She doesn't like any of that.

That's what I said.

No, you said,
"She don't like none of that."

We're sayin' the same thang.

No, we're saying the same thing.

Exactly.

And we aren't.

We ain't?

I just think you may want to try

speaking more properly
in front of your daughter.

Ain't nothin' wrong
with the way I talk.

Lotta people talk like me.

True, but maybe CeeCee will have

better opportunities in life
if she's well-spoken.

She don't even talk yet.

No, she doesn't.

But she's listening
and she's learning,

and we don't want her first
word to be "dang it."

Better that than whatever

the snooty version
of "dang it" is.

It's "darn it."

Dang it, I knew that.

Remarkable work.

Well done, lad.

Yes, first paper
published at 14.

Oh. You're officially
a wunderkind.

Did you catch my sly in-joke
about a tesseract?

Did I?

I did.

Did you?

I don't know.

It's refreshing to talk to
people who appreciate my work.

Appreciate it,
understand it,

- and are inspired by it.
- Ditto,
ditto and ditto.

And I'm sure your family
is very proud.

Yes, but not just me.

Childish maps, impregnating
a woman out of wedlock--

they're proud of all their kids.

The important thing is,
that kid belongs to us.

He is our cash cow.

Okay.

Explain this to me
so I sound like I know

what I'm talking about
when I shake the donor tree.

Well, young Mr. Cooper has
reimagined string theory.

And compactified dimensions

like nobody's business.

You don't understand this,
do you?

No.
Not really.

I mean, we get
- what he's trying to do.
- Absolutely.

No, we don't really
- understand it.
- Not a bit.

So two of the top minds
at our school are

flummoxed by a 14-year-old.

Well, "flummoxed"
is a strong word.

- But accurate.
- Accurate.

Mm-hmm. Okay, maybe I can
sell this by saying

that this is so advanced

that even other
brilliant scientists

don't understand it.

Sexy.

Don't do that.

Hello?

This is she.

- Oh, really?
- Who is it?

If it's a guy
about a boat, hang up.

One moment, please.
It's Princeton.

They want to talk about Sheldon
going to grad school.

Ooh, what are they offering?

- I don't know.
- Full-ride?

- I said I don't know.
- Well, ask 'em.

I will if you'll shut up.

Okay, but I wouldn't
use that tone.

I'll get it.
Remember, cash is king.

Well, howdy.

Is this the Cooper residence?

It is.

Phil Lambert,
Stanford University.

I was just passing
through Medford

and I would love to talk to you
about your son's future.

Come on in, Phil.

Hey, Mare,

tell Princeton,
Stanford's passing through.

Well, thanks
for stopping by.

Well, I was kind of hoping
I could meet Sheldon.

All in good time.

We still got to whip
some of the lumps

out of that offer of yours.
We'll be in touch.

Okay.

Whip some of the lumps?

Point is, Sheldon's
gobbledygook article

got us a bidding war.

George, what do you know
about grad school?

Nothing, but I do know about
recruiting blue chip talent.

These schools want him,
and we got him.

He's not a prize heifer
to auction off.

Mary, we got two average kids.
Let's cash in on the smart one.

Do you think
I talk funny?

What'd my mom say?

Just that I should
speak more proper.

You're fine, and she should
mind her own business.

Thanks, 'cause she's all worried
CeeCee's gonna sound like me.

Oh.

What?

Nothing.

You know,

when I was a weather girl,
I took some speech classes,

and they really seemed to help.

Did you used to
sound like me?

Oh, sweetie, no.

Incoming, nine o'clock.

Well, I hope you two are happy.

Sheldon is being
recruited

by Princeton, by Stanford,

MIT, Caltech.

We are losing him,
and you two have done nothing.

What can we do?

Those are some of the
best schools in the world.

We have a wonderful
graduate program for physics.

Actually...

You're the chair
of the department.

Yes, and the program
is far from wonderful.

That said,

our animal husbandry department
is first-rate.

Fine.

We have other cards
to play. Uh...

we're near his family,
and he loves you two--

God knows why--

and most importantly,

he hates change.

I changed deodorants once.
He made me change it back.

Apparently, I smelled
too outdoorsy.

All right, look, we-we've
been catering to Sheldon

and his family
for years,

so let's
take advantage

of what we know

and use it
to keep him

at East Texas Tech.

His mother is very religious.

Someone might mention

Caltech was founded

by a Satanist.

Good, good.
Wait-wait, is that true?

Actually, I don't care.
We're using it.

- It is true.
- And again, I don't care,

So, what else we got?

Eh, with all the freeways
and traffic in California,

he's gonna needa car.

George, he's 14.

Right.

He's gonna need a car
and a driver.

We can arrange that.

So, what do you say?

Stephen Hawking
and Sheldon Cooper

together at Caltech?

It's very promising.

And of course,
some of our alumni

include John Kennedy,

Franklin Roosevelt,

newly appointed
Supreme Court Justice

Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

That's an awful lot
of Democrats.

Although Harvard did have
some impressive alumni.

Bunch of presidents

and that gal
on the court.
Mm-hmm.

I thought U.T.
was burnt orange?

Oh, no, that's the
University of Texas.

We're the University of Toronto.
Go, True Blue.

Toronto?

Yes, sir, we're the Harvard
of the North, eh.

Well, you should
probably get going.

Got a long trip
ahead of you.

I like everything
I'm hearing, but,

at the end of the day,
this'll be Sheldon's choice.

- Absolutely.
- Hang on a sec.

I see an engineering department,

a physics department,
computer lab.

What I don't see is a church.

Don't worry, we have a beautiful

nondenominational chapel
built in 1956.

Nondenominational?

Everyone's welcome.

Hello, Sheldon.

There's my guy.

Oh, hello.

Is everything okay?

Does something have to be wrong

to hang out with a pal?

Here at East Texas Tech,

we're not just your faculty,
we're your friends.

In the past, you made it

very clear that
we're not friends.

That's just me

giving you the business
the way buddies do,

you little scamp.

Sorry, that was a little hard.

We know this recruiting thing
can be stressful,

and we just wanted to see
how you're holding up.

It's actually not
stressful at all.

My parents have been
handling most of it.

That's great.
That's why it's good

to have family
close by.

Friends and family

just a hop, skip
and a jump away.

I don't hop, skip or jump.

See, that's that
sense of humor

that we get but
strangers may not.

Yes.

Son, I knowyou have

a lot of options
for grad school,

and I'm sure you'll
make the right choice

for yourself and your
sweet, aging grandma.

Who will miss you
so much if you leave.

Moon Pie-- isn't that
what she calls you?

- Yes.
- Sweet.

So sweet.

Hey, what
you doing?

Reading.

English Grammar and Compositio?

It's Missy's.

You know, you don't
have to do this.

Well, I want to
do it for CeeCee.

Well, maybe I can help.

Yeah?

Yeah, you don't need a book.

Let's just
start simple.

Um, instead of "ain't,"
try "isn't."

That isn't gonna be a problem.

There you go.
Now, let's work on "wasn't."

Wadn't.

Wasn't.

Wadn't.

See, I'm not hearing the "S."

That's 'cause it wadn't there.

So, we've narrowed it down to

five schools.

We got Caltech
and Stanford in California.

- The left coast.
- Mom.

It is.

Can I continue?

Also known as

the land of
fruits and nuts. Continue.

And on the East Coast,
we got MIT,

Harvard and Princeton.

Damn Yankees.

We can't move
the schools, Connie.

There's also East Texas Tech.

Is that a school
that you're considering?

I have friends there,
and it's close to all of you.

Why would you want
- to be close to us?
Missy.

This is your decision,

but best I understand,
these other schools are

the major leagues,
and East Texas Tech is T-ball.

Please don't make
sports analogies.

Fine.

These schools are like...
Superman

and East Texas Tech is like...

regular man?

Better, I think.

If you're worried
about being far away,

they're all
offering to pay for

travel expenses
so you can

come home for
the holidays.

But to be clear,
you don't have to.

And we can also
come and visit you.

Ooh, free trip. I like that.

You were just complaining
about these places.

I can complain
on a beach.

This is a difficult decision.

Which is why we're all
here to help you make it.

♪ Now, this is a story

♪ All about how my life got...

Are we not done?

It-it felt done.

Come in.

What are you doing?

I can't sleep.

This is the biggest
decision of my life.

What's all this?

I'm employing

an algorithm to
assigns points to

each school so I can
statistically decide

which is the best.

Hmm.

How about "Eeny,
meeny, miny, moe"?

I won't miss you.

Same. What
school's winning?

I've narrowed it down
to Caltech and MIT.

Geographically
equidistant,

so the travel time home
would be about the same.

Caltech has Stephen Hawking,
which is exciting,

but he hasn't won a Nobel Prize,

unlike Henry Kendall at MIT,
who recently did.

What's this little guy?

Both schools' mascot
is a beaver.

Not pertinent
to my needs,

but amusing nonetheless.
Mm.

Well, if you want my opinion,

I say pick the one that's
near the beach and Hollywood.

I hate those. Advantage MIT.

Where's that?
Boston.

So, what's your gut say?

It doesn't say anything.
It's not a thinking organ.

Fine, what's your...
Spidey-sense tell you?

Spidey-sense warns Peter Parker
of imminent danger.

It doesn't help him
pick schools.

Well, the important thing is,

no matter where you go,

I'm gonna turn this room
into a dance studio.

Mm-hmm.

Howdy.

Well, howdy yourself.

Is this a bad time?

No, but Sheldon's not here,

if you were hoping
to talk to him.

No, I was fixing to talk
to you and your hubby.

Come on in.

I brought you
some pecan pie

and some beer
to wash it down.

You didn't have
to do that.

Oh, it's no problem.

It's my
ding-dang pleasure.

Okay. George?

President Hagemeyer.

This is a real honor,
having you visit.

Oh, stop it with that
President nonsense.

It's Linda... y'all.

Okay, Linda,
so how can we help you?

No, no, no,
how can I help you?

Gee, I don't know.

Rain gutters
could use cleaning.

- George.
- Just a joke.

Well, it doesn't have to be.

You got a ladder
and some gloves, I'm your gal.

And I guess that's
why I'm here.

You know, everybody's rolling
out the red carpet for Sheldon,

as they should.

But, I mean, who's
looking after your needs?

Our needs?
I don't understand.

Wouldn't you like
all your children

to be college graduates?

Wait, are
you serious?

I'm in a position to offer

a full scholarship
to Sheldon's twin sister,

his older brother,
and I understand

there's a grandchild in the mix.

Just imagine how expensive
tuition will be

18 years from now.

Wow, that is
very generous.

No, no, no, I don't--
I don't think so.

No, I think
it's just

giving you good,
hardworking folk

what you deserve.

I don't know what to say.

Yeah, we... we'll have
to talk it over a little.

At the end of the day,
it's still Sheldon's decision.

Oh, of course, but-but
it's also a family decision,

and that is what
East Texas Tech is all about.

Family.

Or, as I like to say, kin.

Your mother has been helping me,

and it has
not been easy.

But I'm going to

keep working on it for you.

Okay, let's get you cleaned up.

See? He's tryin'.

Try-ing.

It's nice to see.
Who's ready for coffee?

I believe you mean,
"Whom's ready for coffee?"

Whom's?

Oh, let him have this one.

Sheldon?

Which is better?

One or two?

One, two?

Hat I'll never wear one,
hat I'll never wear two.

Are you okay?

No, I didn't
sleep at all last night.

For the life of me,
I can't decide between

Caltech and MIT.

No matter how
I analyze it,

how I
break it down,

they're basically equal.

Great, then just pick
the one you want.

What I want is to not have
to make this decision.

Well, you could always
stay here.

Maybe you're right.
Maybe deciding not to decide

is the best decision
I can decide.

Possibly.

After all, an object at rest

stays at rest.
That's just physics.

The kind of physics
we understand.

Very well, I'll stay here,

I'll work with you two,
and everything will be...

Stop.

I can't do this.

I'm glad you said that.
I'm also having qualms.

- What are you talking about?
- You.

We have to do
the right thing for him.

And for science.

So, we're in agreement?

Consequences be damned.

Will someone please
tell me what's going on?

Sheldon, you can't stay here.

- Why?
- You've outgrown us.

Me, literally.

You deserve the best
education possible.

You're going to do
great things, Sheldon.

And we're proud to have been

a small part of your journey.

So, where should I go?

Caltech.
MIT.

Mom, Dad, I've made a decision.

All right.

I'm going to MIT.

I know what you're thinking.

Wait for it.

I'm so excited to visit MIT.

Me, too.

Proud of you, son.

Thank you, Dad.

Caltech?

Caltech.

Told you.

I don't know
what to tell you, Linda.

We begged him to stay.

I got down
on my knees,

and, well, John
was already there.

We did everything
we could to keep him.

I wore a cowboy hat and
offered a scholarship to a baby.

Ooh. You win.

Damn straight.

I'd like to propose a toast.

To our complete and utter

lack of integrity.

Hear, hear.
Hear, hear.

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