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1
00:00:02,795 --> 00:00:06,339
LANA: No, I just wanna make sure
we're both totally clear about this.
2
00:00:07,424 --> 00:00:12,303
Yes, Lana, you've made it totally,
very nearly insultingly, clear.
3
00:00:12,471 --> 00:00:14,764
This is my parents
meeting their grandchild, and:
4
00:00:14,932 --> 00:00:17,141
"By the way, this is her father."
Yeah, it's--
5
00:00:17,309 --> 00:00:19,852
It's not meet my boyfriend,
it's not meet my future husband.
6
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:23,106
Nobody's guessing who's coming to dinner.
Totally clear--
7
00:00:23,273 --> 00:00:25,149
--ly insulting.
8
00:00:25,317 --> 00:00:26,526
[A.J. CRYING]
9
00:00:26,694 --> 00:00:29,153
LANA: So just to be clear, we're clear?
Oh, my God.
10
00:00:29,321 --> 00:00:30,530
Oh, my God.
11
00:00:30,698 --> 00:00:31,739
Hey, shut up.
12
00:00:31,907 --> 00:00:33,408
Sir, is there a problem here?
13
00:00:33,575 --> 00:00:35,159
Yes, where the hell have you been?
14
00:00:35,327 --> 00:00:38,705
Here, and if you wanna save yourself
some trips, let's, uh, make it a pitcher.
15
00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:40,957
Uh, we don't even have pitchers, so--
16
00:00:41,125 --> 00:00:44,252
I don't know what to tell you.
Maybe rinse out a little trash can.
17
00:00:44,962 --> 00:00:49,799
Also, my parents aren't big drinkers.
ARCHER: Yeah, they're like huge nerds, right?
18
00:00:49,967 --> 00:00:51,676
Uh, no, they're academics.
19
00:00:51,844 --> 00:00:53,553
Tomato, tomato.
20
00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:57,223
LANA: My mom, Claudette, is a professor
of public policy at UC Berkeley...
21
00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:59,308
...with a focus on feminist issues.
Yikes.
22
00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:02,311
Glad I didn't waste suitcase space
on that barrel of monkeys.
23
00:01:02,479 --> 00:01:05,106
Shut up. And my father, Lemuel,
is a microbiologist...
24
00:01:05,274 --> 00:01:07,817
...who might be up for the Nobel Prize.
Holy shit.
25
00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:09,318
Yeah, right?
Right.
26
00:01:09,486 --> 00:01:11,028
What happened to you?
27
00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:14,657
LANA:
Oh, and one more, like, tiny thing?
28
00:01:15,993 --> 00:01:17,660
ARCHER:
Swear to God, last one till dinner.
29
00:01:17,828 --> 00:01:18,870
[CAN OPENS]
30
00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:20,830
Not that. Although, what the shit?
31
00:01:20,998 --> 00:01:23,666
I'm actually kind of nervous.
Ugh.
32
00:01:23,834 --> 00:01:24,917
Me too, actually.
33
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:26,544
[LANA GULPING]
34
00:01:26,712 --> 00:01:30,256
Because my parents think
I'm still working on my PhD at Columbia...
35
00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:31,466
[LANA BURPS]
36
00:01:31,633 --> 00:01:35,219
...in environmental science.
What? They don't know you're a spy?
37
00:01:35,387 --> 00:01:38,347
No, and if you tell them I am,
I will literally murder you...
38
00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:42,018
...wait, in front of
our very own infant child.
39
00:01:42,186 --> 00:01:43,728
[ARCHER BURPS]
40
00:01:43,896 --> 00:01:49,025
So serious up, because they're not crazy about
this whole arrangement, so, ah, serious up.
41
00:01:49,193 --> 00:01:51,486
Lana, once I meet them,
I'm sure they'll find me...
42
00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:54,405
[IN ENGLISH ACCENT]
...utterly charming.
43
00:01:54,573 --> 00:01:56,324
You have met them.
44
00:01:56,492 --> 00:01:59,118
Yes, he's getting his master's too
and he's nice and--
45
00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:00,995
I said that already. And--
46
00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:03,414
I'm sure he's just caught in traffic.
47
00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:08,336
Hm. He could've walked here by now.
If it's gonna be that kind of party...
48
00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:12,465
...et cetera, et cetera, mashed potatoes.
49
00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:13,925
Whoo!
50
00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:16,552
[CLATTERING]
51
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:30,525
[ARCHER LAUGHS]
52
00:02:30,776 --> 00:02:33,611
Oh. Did they find me utterly charming?
53
00:02:33,779 --> 00:02:34,821
Hey.
LANA: Hi.
54
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,322
Oh.
Look who's here.
55
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,950
Let me have my grandbaby.
56
00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:42,829
And, um, you remember Archer?
Yes, of course.
57
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:46,374
We've got the mashed potatoes
just the way you like them.
58
00:02:46,542 --> 00:02:49,085
Ninety-eight-point-six.
59
00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:31,127
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
60
00:03:31,295 --> 00:03:33,254
[A.J. COOS THEN CLAUDETTE CHUCKLES]
61
00:03:33,422 --> 00:03:37,425
Oh, Lana, you have made
a beautiful baby.
62
00:03:37,593 --> 00:03:40,636
Well, we sort of both--
Would agree with that statement.
63
00:03:40,804 --> 00:03:43,347
Lana can speak for herself.
Yep.
64
00:03:43,515 --> 00:03:45,182
So any news?
65
00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:47,351
Um, I had a baby?
66
00:03:47,519 --> 00:03:49,270
Oh, honey, I'm talking
about your studies.
67
00:03:49,438 --> 00:03:51,981
Yes, Lana. When on earth
are you planning...
68
00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:54,150
...to finish your dissertation?
Yeah.
69
00:03:54,318 --> 00:03:55,568
Don't do that.
Nope.
70
00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:59,822
Because you're taking your time as well.
What is it you're studying?
71
00:03:59,990 --> 00:04:03,492
Um, medieval Slavic history.
72
00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:05,536
Really? Oh, that must be fascinating.
73
00:04:05,704 --> 00:04:07,580
Well, everybody thinks that, but--
74
00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:11,250
So tell me, what are your thoughts
on the Battle of Kosovo of 1389?
75
00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:14,629
No opinion.
76
00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:18,466
Well, not even as it applies
to the rise of modern Serbian nationalism?
77
00:04:18,634 --> 00:04:23,262
Mm, nope. Also, that's a bit reductionist.
78
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:25,681
But enough about you, am I right?
79
00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:28,184
Daddy, tell us about your research.
80
00:04:28,352 --> 00:04:30,353
Well, algae is always challenging.
81
00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,104
Yeah, just ask a flip-flop.
82
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:33,689
Don't do that.
Nope.
83
00:04:33,857 --> 00:04:36,275
His research is going extremely well.
84
00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:37,818
And in the near future...
85
00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:41,614
...you may be spending a lot less time
and money at gas stations.
86
00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:42,823
[LANA GASPS]
87
00:04:42,991 --> 00:04:44,617
You're buying us motorcycles?
No.
88
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,452
Daddy's been working on--
Lana?
89
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:48,704
Mom, it's fine. Archer is, um--
90
00:04:48,872 --> 00:04:51,123
Lana, it's okay. You can say "family."
91
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:54,794
I-- Well, I thought I could,
but I honestly don't know if I can.
92
00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:56,128
Wow.
93
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:57,338
[A.J. CRYING]
94
00:04:57,506 --> 00:04:59,882
Great, now you made the baby cry.
That was you.
95
00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:03,094
Lana, here, take the child.
I'm not sure which end needs attention.
96
00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:06,555
But while you check on that,
your father and I will check on dinner.
97
00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:09,475
And I will check on that hot tub.
98
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,060
PAM:
Seriously?
99
00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:13,896
Are you fricking serious?
100
00:05:14,564 --> 00:05:16,315
KRIEGER:
Um....
101
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:18,693
Yes.
102
00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:20,194
CYRIL: Goddamn it, Krieger.
PAM: My God.
103
00:05:20,362 --> 00:05:23,864
So now we gotta forfeit league night?
How the hell did you run out of gas?
104
00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:27,201
Yeah, especially in-- Where even are we?
105
00:05:27,369 --> 00:05:29,870
KRIEGER: Mm, Brownsville?
CYRIL: Hey, whoa.
106
00:05:30,038 --> 00:05:33,040
It may be a bit rundown,
but there's no need to be racist.
107
00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:35,167
No, not because of African-Americans.
108
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,461
Brownsville's just the name, dipnuts.
109
00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:41,298
Yeah, which doesn't really make sense,
because this all used to be Jewtown.
110
00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:42,883
KRIEGER: Goddamn, dude.
CYRIL: Not cool.
111
00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:44,093
[SPEAKS IN JAPANESE]
112
00:05:44,261 --> 00:05:46,262
Oh, please, you people invented racism.
113
00:05:46,430 --> 00:05:48,556
Also, you're just
a reconstructed light-field...
114
00:05:48,724 --> 00:05:50,808
...produced by firing a laser
through a beam-splitter.
115
00:05:50,976 --> 00:05:52,018
[GASPS]
116
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:53,519
Whoa!
Yeah, dude.
117
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,354
Not cool.
ARCHER: Hot.
118
00:05:55,647 --> 00:05:57,356
Hot, hot, hot.
119
00:05:57,524 --> 00:06:00,234
LEMUEL: How is it?
Oh, it is hot, Lem.
120
00:06:00,402 --> 00:06:04,780
Can I call you Lem?
Of course you may. Absolutely.
121
00:06:04,948 --> 00:06:06,782
But it's actually pronounced Dr. Kane.
122
00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:08,284
ARCHER: Ah.
LEMUEL: Mm.
123
00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:11,328
Ah....
LEMUEL: Mm....
124
00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:13,372
Ah....
Hm.
125
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:16,000
Well, Lana's feeding the baby.
126
00:06:16,168 --> 00:06:17,668
How is it?
Hot.
127
00:06:17,836 --> 00:06:20,087
Actually almost too hot,
now that you--
128
00:06:20,255 --> 00:06:23,716
I'm actually gonna hop out, so--
Nonsense. You stay right there.
129
00:06:24,259 --> 00:06:26,469
Ah-- Huh. Ahem.
130
00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:28,471
CLAUDETTE:
Mm.... Oh.
131
00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:31,640
Isn't this just so relaxing?
Is it?
132
00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:34,477
Well, nudity is our natural state.
133
00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:36,479
He's not nude.
What?
134
00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:37,938
Then why are you in here?
135
00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:41,317
I was just asking myself the same--
That's ridiculous.
136
00:06:41,485 --> 00:06:44,028
You have to be naked.
Otherwise, it's pointless.
137
00:06:44,196 --> 00:06:46,363
Is it?
Trunks, young man. Trunks.
138
00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:48,449
Okay.
139
00:06:48,617 --> 00:06:51,118
There. Now, that's not so hard, is it?
140
00:06:51,286 --> 00:06:53,370
So do you guys do phrasing or--?
141
00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:56,332
And now that we're all skyclad, as they say...
142
00:06:56,500 --> 00:07:00,127
...we have something very special
we'd like to share with you.
143
00:07:00,295 --> 00:07:02,755
Wait, what?
But just between us three.
144
00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:04,799
There's no reason
to tell Lana about it.
145
00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:09,178
No, she might not, uh, approve.
146
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:11,097
Oh, God.
147
00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:14,892
Okay, but just so you know,
I've never worn a condom, ever.
148
00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:18,771
And, Lem, obviously the implicit agreement
between you and I...
149
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:21,690
...is that at no time will our penises touch.
150
00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:23,442
But I'd also appreciate it...
151
00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:28,656
...if, um, you didn't make eye contact,
you know, with me during....
152
00:07:29,491 --> 00:07:32,618
Did I misread the...?
153
00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:38,958
I--
LANA: No.
154
00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:41,043
No. You do not talk.
155
00:07:41,211 --> 00:07:45,631
In fact, first thing tomorrow, you're going
to the vet to have your vocal chords clipped.
156
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:49,301
How about just put to sleep?
157
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:57,184
ARCHER: Because who gets in a hot tub naked
with an almost complete stranger?
158
00:07:57,352 --> 00:08:00,062
Because everybody?
Because Berkeley?
159
00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:03,899
That's-- How does an entire city get a pass
on acceptable behavior?
160
00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:05,651
LEMUEL:
Acceptable behavior?
161
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:08,904
From the man who tried to have
a threesome with me and my wife.
162
00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:10,906
I was being polite.
163
00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:14,368
Wha--? How is that polite?
Because I thought that's what they wanted.
164
00:08:14,536 --> 00:08:17,913
They said they wanted to share
a special secret with me, so--
165
00:08:18,081 --> 00:08:19,582
Wait, what special secret?
166
00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:21,959
What? Why is he even still here?
Daddy....
167
00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:23,544
Look, the man's an ass-bucket.
168
00:08:23,712 --> 00:08:25,087
CLAUDETTE: Aah!
What the--?
169
00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:27,590
Hey, don't look at me, I'm not--
The baby.
170
00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:28,966
Oh, shit.
171
00:08:29,134 --> 00:08:30,176
Oh, dear God.
LANA: Mom!
172
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:32,928
LEMUEL: Claudette!
I'm in here. In the study.
173
00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:35,556
Where is A.J.?
She's fine. She's upstairs, but--
174
00:08:35,724 --> 00:08:37,224
What the hell happened?
175
00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:38,726
LEMUEL:
Oh, my God. My research.
176
00:08:39,269 --> 00:08:41,604
[BOTH GRUNTING]
177
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:48,194
Oh. All my research, my data, my notes,
all my samples, all my years of work.
178
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:49,403
It's all gone.
179
00:08:49,571 --> 00:08:52,114
Why would anyone want mildew?
Algae!
180
00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:53,782
[CAR DOOR CLOSES]
181
00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:54,992
[ENGINE STARTS]
182
00:08:58,914 --> 00:09:01,832
Oh, my God, are you shitting me?
With a baby in the house?
183
00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:06,170
Why do you have a gun?
What, seriously? For this.
184
00:09:06,338 --> 00:09:08,172
[TIRES SCREECHING]
185
00:09:10,425 --> 00:09:11,800
[ARCHER LAUGHING]
186
00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:13,427
[A.J. CRYING THEN ARCHER SIGHS]
187
00:09:13,595 --> 00:09:16,222
Great.
Lana, what is the meaning of this?
188
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:18,182
Why does he have a gun?
189
00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:20,476
Okay, so....
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
190
00:09:20,644 --> 00:09:24,313
Come on, are we not even gonna address
how amazing that shot was?
191
00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:25,522
Not now, Archer, I'm--
192
00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:26,732
[CAR DOOR OPENS]
193
00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:28,734
Oh, shit.
ARCHER: Yeah.
194
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:31,570
If you wanna catch those guys
and get your mildew back--
195
00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:34,406
It's algae.
Yeah, take that tone.
196
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:35,783
You got a car?
What?
197
00:09:35,951 --> 00:09:37,701
Yes, but-- But-- But--
198
00:09:37,869 --> 00:09:39,995
Get your shit together, Lem.
199
00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:41,538
Be a lamb and watch the baby?
200
00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:42,790
[ENGINE STARTS]
201
00:09:42,958 --> 00:09:44,792
Lana, this is all just crazy.
202
00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:48,170
Why does he have a gun?
And why is he driving? I should be driving.
203
00:09:48,338 --> 00:09:51,340
No, Daddy, Archer should drive.
He's actually pretty great at it.
204
00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:53,384
Meep. Meep. Meep.
205
00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:56,595
When he's not busy ejaculating.
Not in my Mustang, you don't.
206
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:57,805
[ENGINE REVVING]
207
00:09:57,973 --> 00:09:59,723
But seriously, what's wrong with him?
208
00:09:59,891 --> 00:10:03,018
Guys, this is-- This is the-- The car from--
209
00:10:03,186 --> 00:10:04,478
Bullitt. We know.
210
00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:08,023
And if you'd go already, maybe later
I'll dress up like Steve McQueen for you.
211
00:10:08,191 --> 00:10:10,526
Ew. That's not even what it's about.
212
00:10:10,694 --> 00:10:12,278
Plus your hands are too big.
Go.
213
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:15,489
Speaking of McQueen, if there was
ever a time to wear the Tactleneck--
214
00:10:15,657 --> 00:10:17,616
Go!
Okay, hang on.
215
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:18,826
LEMUEL:
Easy. Easy.
216
00:10:20,495 --> 00:10:22,204
KRIEGER:
Easy.
217
00:10:22,372 --> 00:10:24,498
Easy.
218
00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:27,710
Easy.
Will you shut up?
219
00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:29,962
We're only going one mile an hour.
220
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:31,964
CHERYL:
If that. Jesus.
221
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:35,884
Oh, shush and push.
You guys all better be pushing back there.
222
00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:38,637
CYRIL: We are.
I'm pushing. Swearsie, realsies.
223
00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:39,888
Son of a bitch!
224
00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:43,267
Then I don't know why this heap of shit's
not going faster.
225
00:10:43,435 --> 00:10:46,020
Well, first of all,
I think you mean heap of bitching.
226
00:10:46,187 --> 00:10:49,231
And second of all-- Hang on.
227
00:10:49,607 --> 00:10:52,568
Wha--? The fricking brake was on?
228
00:10:52,736 --> 00:10:54,528
[CHERYL LAUGHING]
229
00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:55,738
God!
230
00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:58,866
Damn it, Archer!
Ha-ha-ha-ha! Whoo!
231
00:10:59,034 --> 00:11:01,827
LANA: Archer--
LEMUEL: You're going too fast, you idiot.
232
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:04,997
ARCHER: Idiot? Who kept his life's work
in his fricking house...
233
00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:07,750
...apparently without any kind of backup
whatsoever?
234
00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:10,002
Uh, yeah, that's actually a good point.
235
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:13,297
I couldn't keep my work at the lab.
It's potentially worth billions.
236
00:11:13,465 --> 00:11:15,716
People would literally kill for it.
237
00:11:15,884 --> 00:11:17,676
[GUNFIRE]
238
00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:21,055
Case in point.
Well, even if I'm not family....
239
00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:23,223
LANA:
Oh, my God. Okay.
240
00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:26,310
What's the deal with this algae?
241
00:11:26,478 --> 00:11:29,813
I found a way to use it as biofuel.
242
00:11:30,065 --> 00:11:32,191
Am I supposed to know
what that means or...?
243
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:35,778
As a replacement for fossil fuels.
Oh.
244
00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:38,906
Oh, my God.
Duh-hoi.
245
00:11:39,074 --> 00:11:41,992
LEMUEL: Under the right conditions,
the algae reproduce infinitely.
246
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:44,787
And the only by-product of burning it
is water.
247
00:11:44,954 --> 00:11:48,123
Holy shit. I'm surprised
nobody's killed you already.
248
00:11:48,291 --> 00:11:50,042
LEMUEL:
I had to keep my research a secret.
249
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:53,170
Can you imagine what this would mean
to Big Oil or OPEC?
250
00:11:53,338 --> 00:11:55,214
Well, there's no need to be racist.
251
00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:59,176
How is the acronym for the Organization
of Petroleum Exporting Countries racist?
252
00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:00,719
ARCHER:
Oh, that's what that means?
253
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,388
[GUNFIRE]
254
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:03,972
Goddamn it.
255
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:07,059
This is an American icon!
256
00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:09,978
You Philistines!
257
00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:14,024
Hey, I know, let's, uh,
tea-bag Dr. Seuss.
258
00:12:14,192 --> 00:12:17,444
Great idea. I'll hold him down.
Mm. Wha--?
259
00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:19,530
Look, I've told you about my research.
260
00:12:19,697 --> 00:12:21,990
How about telling me
why the hell you carry a gun?
261
00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:25,494
Yeah, speaking of, I'm out.
Let me hold yours while you reload me.
262
00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:27,287
Hold your what?
Uh....
263
00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:32,251
Lana, come on, zona peligrosa.
What is he talking about?
264
00:12:33,545 --> 00:12:35,337
[LANA SIGHS]
265
00:12:35,505 --> 00:12:36,797
What in the--?
266
00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:39,675
Lana Anthony Kane.
Okay, so....
267
00:12:39,843 --> 00:12:41,510
[ARCHER LAUGHING]
268
00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:43,929
Anthony?
After Susan B.
269
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:46,682
Oh, right, our ugliest president.
270
00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:48,934
Lana, why the hell do you have a gun?
271
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:50,644
That's not how we raised you.
272
00:12:50,812 --> 00:12:52,896
LANA:
I know, Daddy. I know.
273
00:12:53,064 --> 00:12:55,607
So about my PhD....
274
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:58,068
[ARCHER CHUCKLING]
275
00:12:58,236 --> 00:12:59,695
How is this funny?
276
00:12:59,863 --> 00:13:02,072
Wha--? What, seriously?
277
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:04,700
Um, in every possible way.
278
00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:19,047
LEMUEL: You're a spy?
LANA: Yes, but I can explain.
279
00:13:19,215 --> 00:13:21,341
ARCHER:
Whoo-hoo!
280
00:13:21,509 --> 00:13:24,678
You're going to explain lying to me
and your mother all these years.
281
00:13:24,846 --> 00:13:29,016
And could you please not drive my Mustang
like a complete ass-bucket?
282
00:13:29,184 --> 00:13:32,102
Okay, Lem, I think maybe
you're transferring a little.
283
00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:34,855
You're not angry at me,
you're angry at Lana.
284
00:13:35,023 --> 00:13:37,357
I'm well aware of at whom I'm angry.
285
00:13:37,525 --> 00:13:39,443
[GUNFIRE]
286
00:13:39,611 --> 00:13:43,113
But thank you for reminding him.
Yeah, think of me as a mediator.
287
00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:47,659
And spying for whom exactly?
288
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:50,704
I hope it's for America.
Who else would I be spying for?
289
00:13:50,872 --> 00:13:53,749
How should I know?
All of a sudden, I'm talking to a stranger.
290
00:13:53,917 --> 00:13:56,084
Lana, how does that make you feel?
291
00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:58,754
Like I'm gonna shoot you?
292
00:13:58,922 --> 00:14:00,547
Yeah, get in line.
293
00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:03,634
Daddy, of course it's America.
294
00:14:03,801 --> 00:14:08,096
Long story short, these days
we're sort of contractors for the CIA.
295
00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:09,431
The CIA?
296
00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:13,101
Did you drop in on your way to overthrow
a democratically elected government?
297
00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:16,438
Lem, let's try to avoid using sarcasm.
I wasn't.
298
00:14:16,606 --> 00:14:19,942
You see? This is why I never told you.
I knew you wouldn't understand.
299
00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:22,236
Because you could've been
a great scientist.
300
00:14:22,403 --> 00:14:24,613
How could you throw away
your God-given talent?
301
00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:29,660
But it wasn't my talent, Daddy.
302
00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:37,125
You and Mom just wanted it to be.
Oh, come on now.
303
00:14:37,293 --> 00:14:39,545
You used to love going
to all those science fairs.
304
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:43,799
I used to hate it. Remember,
I always threw up in the car on the way there?
305
00:14:43,967 --> 00:14:46,552
[RETCHING]
306
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:47,970
I'm sorry.
307
00:14:48,930 --> 00:14:51,098
Oh, goddamn it.
Lemuel.
308
00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:53,141
LEMUEL: From excitement.
LANA: From terror.
309
00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:56,061
I was always so afraid
of letting you and Mom down...
310
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:58,814
...that I couldn't ever tell you how I felt.
311
00:14:58,982 --> 00:15:00,774
Hey, come on now.
312
00:15:00,942 --> 00:15:02,651
You could never let us down, honey.
313
00:15:02,819 --> 00:15:04,069
I hope you know that.
314
00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:05,279
[LANA SNIFFS]
315
00:15:05,446 --> 00:15:09,074
Really?
Oh, Lana, we'll always be proud of you.
316
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:14,496
And we'll always love you, even when you
make stupid, stupid, stupid choices like him.
317
00:15:14,664 --> 00:15:15,706
Aw.
318
00:15:16,374 --> 00:15:18,959
Well, I think we've made
some real progress here.
319
00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:22,879
And I'd say we've got about 30 seconds
before the engine locks up.
320
00:15:23,047 --> 00:15:25,716
So does anyone have a plan?
321
00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:27,092
Anyone?
322
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:29,344
Guys, come on,
there's no dumb ideas.
323
00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:30,554
[CHERYL GASPS]
324
00:15:30,722 --> 00:15:32,222
What if we grease the tires?
325
00:15:32,390 --> 00:15:35,017
How would that possibly help?
326
00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:36,226
[CHERYL INHALES THEN BURPS]
327
00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:37,436
[CHERYL MUMBLES]
328
00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:40,856
Hey, yeah, toss out all your empties.
That'll get rid of some weight, huh?
329
00:15:41,024 --> 00:15:42,899
[PAM GRUNTING]
330
00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:45,444
Toss out everything.
331
00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:48,530
We gotta get rid of some of this weight.
332
00:15:48,698 --> 00:15:50,949
CYRIL: Well, the speakers are obviously the--
No!
333
00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:52,284
For the love of God, man...
334
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:54,745
...are you quite literally insane?
Sorry.
335
00:15:54,912 --> 00:15:55,954
[SPEAKS IN JAPANESE]
336
00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:58,498
Shut up.
What about all these bowling balls?
337
00:15:58,666 --> 00:16:00,000
What? Yes!
338
00:16:00,168 --> 00:16:03,587
You ding-dongs.
Throw out the goddamn bowling balls.
339
00:16:03,755 --> 00:16:05,464
Okay. Jesus.
340
00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:08,091
[GRUNTING]
341
00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:10,552
Oh.
342
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,346
[CHERYL LAUGHING]
343
00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:15,140
[RAP-METAL MUSIC
PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]
344
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:16,350
[SIGHS]
345
00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:17,893
And that's how they all died.
346
00:16:18,686 --> 00:16:20,937
LEMUEL:
That's your plan? To ram it?
347
00:16:21,105 --> 00:16:23,148
ARCHER:
Yeah, it's called a pit maneuver.
348
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:25,442
I've done it like a million times.
349
00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:27,027
Like three times.
350
00:16:27,195 --> 00:16:29,488
When they crash,
they're gonna come out firing.
351
00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:31,448
Get down on the floor and stay there.
352
00:16:31,616 --> 00:16:34,660
What about you?
Don't worry about me. This is what I do.
353
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:36,286
I'm actually pretty great at it.
354
00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:39,331
Eh....
Shut up. Daddy, floor.
355
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,083
Okay, hang on.
356
00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:43,585
Wait, hang on.
What?
357
00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:46,046
Lem, what was the special thing?
What?
358
00:16:46,214 --> 00:16:47,297
In the hot tub.
359
00:16:47,465 --> 00:16:49,925
The less said about the hot-tub incident,
the better.
360
00:16:50,093 --> 00:16:53,136
Shut up. What's the special thing
you two wanted to share with me?
361
00:16:53,304 --> 00:16:54,888
The Kane family reunion.
362
00:16:55,056 --> 00:16:56,264
Wait, what?
Yeah.
363
00:16:56,432 --> 00:16:58,100
We do it every year. It's huge.
364
00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:01,812
And we told her to invite you, but--
Daddy.
365
00:17:01,979 --> 00:17:06,108
Lana, the man may be a total idiot,
but he is the father of your child.
366
00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:07,651
Yeah, Lana.
367
00:17:07,819 --> 00:17:10,821
So are we talking like a barbecue or--?
Archer.
368
00:17:10,988 --> 00:17:12,656
Okay. Lana.
369
00:17:20,957 --> 00:17:24,418
And if it's a barbecue, are the Kanes
a brisket crowd or pulled pork?
370
00:17:24,585 --> 00:17:26,253
[GUNFIRE]
371
00:17:26,421 --> 00:17:29,172
Brisket.
Ah. Lame.
372
00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:32,342
Don't shoot. Don't shoot.
373
00:17:32,510 --> 00:17:34,594
Please don't-- Darryl?
374
00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:37,723
Pam?
Oh, my God.
375
00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:42,436
I used to beat this bitch's ass
at fight club, like, all the time.
376
00:17:42,603 --> 00:17:44,104
CYRIL: What's up?
KRIEGER: Hey, guys.
377
00:17:44,272 --> 00:17:45,564
Pfft. Like, three times.
378
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:48,233
And why you throwing bowling balls
in the damn street?
379
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:49,985
Long story, funny story...
380
00:17:50,153 --> 00:17:54,322
...and I'll tell you guys all about it over beers
at the nearest titty bar, my treat.
381
00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:56,575
Titties ain't gonna fix my car, Poovey.
382
00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:58,994
No, but Beardsly McBugeyes
over there will...
383
00:17:59,162 --> 00:18:03,331
...and he'll install a nitrous tank so you don't
have to drive around town like a giant pussy.
384
00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:06,251
Won't you, Krieger?
Yep. Yep, yep, yep.
385
00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:09,212
So come on, let's go make it rain Pammy.
386
00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:10,505
What about them?
387
00:18:10,673 --> 00:18:12,424
Oh. Honestly don't care.
388
00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:13,800
[GUNFIRE]
389
00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:27,898
Reloading. Archer, cover me.
390
00:18:28,065 --> 00:18:30,317
Wait, what? Archer?
391
00:18:30,485 --> 00:18:31,943
What the--?
Slater?
392
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:33,153
[SIGHS]
393
00:18:33,321 --> 00:18:35,113
Ta-da.
394
00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:36,782
LANA:
With a baby in the house?
395
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,492
We didn't know you were there.
396
00:18:38,659 --> 00:18:42,120
Which was obviously
an operational failure on our end.
397
00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:44,039
Ethan.
ARCHER: Yeah, Ethan.
398
00:18:44,207 --> 00:18:47,459
And don't be shitty, Archer, you dick.
You killed one of my guys.
399
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:49,336
Yeah, was that shot not insane?
400
00:18:49,504 --> 00:18:53,799
What is insane is the CIA stealing
my father's research, Slater. Why?
401
00:18:54,217 --> 00:18:58,553
Because, Dr. Kane, your research
has jeopardized our national security.
402
00:18:58,721 --> 00:19:00,972
What? What do you mean? How?
403
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:05,352
If you think the Middle East is messed up now,
just wait until nobody needs their oil.
404
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:07,229
Man, you guys are so big picture.
405
00:19:07,396 --> 00:19:08,438
No, wait, you can't.
406
00:19:08,606 --> 00:19:11,566
That was a lifetime of work for my father.
Yeah. Yeah.
407
00:19:11,734 --> 00:19:15,278
Dr. Kane, do you have online banking?
I-- Yes, but--
408
00:19:15,446 --> 00:19:18,281
So if you wanna go ahead
and check your account balance...?
409
00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:24,120
Huh. I can tell you right now,
this doesn't come anywhere close--
410
00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:28,208
That amount direct-deposited every month
for the rest of your life.
411
00:19:28,793 --> 00:19:29,918
Every month?
412
00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:33,421
Well, Mr. Slater, I--
I think we got ourselves a deal.
413
00:19:33,589 --> 00:19:37,634
Daddy, no. What about the algae
so we don't have to burn fossil fuels?
414
00:19:37,802 --> 00:19:40,720
Honey, forget about fossil fuels.
We're gonna be able to burn money.
415
00:19:40,888 --> 00:19:42,806
[LEMUEL LAUGHS THEN LANA SIGHS]
416
00:19:42,974 --> 00:19:46,059
Happy?
What, like, in general?
417
00:19:46,727 --> 00:19:48,603
Because yes.
418
00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:54,317
So listen, I wanna thank you
for trying to save my dad's research.
419
00:19:54,485 --> 00:19:57,445
Even though I'm still furious
about the hot-tub incident...
420
00:19:57,613 --> 00:19:59,573
...and will be for years to come...
421
00:19:59,740 --> 00:20:03,743
...I can see how you, you Archer,
could have misconstrued the situation.
422
00:20:03,911 --> 00:20:06,788
Even though it's hard for me
to admit it, you are family to me.
423
00:20:06,956 --> 00:20:08,039
Not just because of A.J.
424
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:13,628
And I realize now that I should have invited you
to the family reunion, and so I'm sorry.
425
00:20:13,796 --> 00:20:15,297
Sorry that I hurt your feelings.
426
00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:17,465
Well, thanks.
427
00:20:17,633 --> 00:20:19,926
I accept your apology.
428
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:29,853
Sorry I tried to spit-roast your mom.
33010
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