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1
00:00:02,795 --> 00:00:04,754
[PAM CRYING]
2
00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:20,269
Ahem. Um....
3
00:00:20,437 --> 00:00:22,105
Can I, um....
4
00:01:13,657 --> 00:01:14,949
[SIGHS]
5
00:01:16,326 --> 00:01:18,536
What's wrong?
6
00:01:19,997 --> 00:01:24,000
Pam. Pam!
[STAMMERING] My sis....
7
00:01:24,168 --> 00:01:26,043
Hold this.
8
00:01:26,712 --> 00:01:29,130
Ow! Goddamn it, dude.
9
00:01:29,298 --> 00:01:33,217
Well, I'm sorry
but I've got other shit to do today.
10
00:01:33,385 --> 00:01:35,595
Now, what the hell
is wrong with you?
11
00:01:35,763 --> 00:01:40,558
My sister Edie is getting married
to Don Ekblad Jr., of all people...
12
00:01:40,726 --> 00:01:43,352
...and she asked me to be a bridesmaid.
13
00:01:43,645 --> 00:01:47,148
Um--
I should be maid of honor, dick-nuts...
14
00:01:47,316 --> 00:01:49,901
...but no, guess who she asks instead.
15
00:01:50,068 --> 00:01:52,737
Um-- No.
Midge Olerud.
16
00:01:52,905 --> 00:01:57,408
Yes. Midge "Hey Edie, let's me
and you blow Pam's boyfriend Arn...
17
00:01:57,576 --> 00:02:00,411
...behind the goddamn
grain elevator" Olerud.
18
00:02:00,579 --> 00:02:05,124
You had a boyfriend named Arn?
Well, he didn't know I liked him but--
19
00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:08,336
Midge and Edie did. Pam.
20
00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:11,672
Okay, Jesus. Calm down, Ike Turner.
21
00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:13,758
I don't want to show up
with a black eye.
22
00:02:13,926 --> 00:02:17,386
Not a real diverse crowd, huh?
Eye, idiot, eye.
23
00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:21,224
Although, no. Not a lot
of black guys in rural Wisconsin.
24
00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:24,936
And I don't want to sound racist but--
Power through it.
25
00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:28,815
--a black guy would be better than no date,
which is what I'm taking now.
26
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:33,110
When is it?
Saturday. Day after tomorrow.
27
00:02:34,238 --> 00:02:35,279
[BELCHES]
28
00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:39,700
Screw it, I'll go.
Really? Really, really, really?
29
00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:42,870
Yeah, why not?
Oh, man. Wait till they see....
30
00:02:43,038 --> 00:02:47,667
Wait, that's how you ask a woman out?
Yes.
31
00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:51,295
Wait, no, I don't need a back-story.
Yes you do. Shut up.
32
00:02:51,463 --> 00:02:55,132
You're Gordon Shumway and you own
a 500-acre dairy farm in upstate New York...
33
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:59,262
...with 600 Holsteins
and two Herringbone milking parlors.
34
00:02:59,429 --> 00:03:03,140
Okay, A, that's Alf's name
and two, what's more impressive...
35
00:03:03,308 --> 00:03:07,603
...a pathetic cheese farmer
or the world's greatest secret agent, a.k.a...
36
00:03:07,771 --> 00:03:10,773
...me, Sterling Archer?
Oh, yeah.
37
00:03:10,941 --> 00:03:15,778
WOMAN [ON PA]: Attention, now boarding
flight 934, to Green Bay, Wisconsin.
38
00:03:15,946 --> 00:03:19,824
Come on, Archer, that's us.
Flight 934 to Green Bay, Wisconsin.
39
00:03:19,992 --> 00:03:23,202
Yeah, you're booked through to New York.
Will you be needing anything else?
40
00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:28,291
Huh? Oh, is there a place that sells
down jackets and thermal underwear?
41
00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:31,836
Ha, ah. I'm, uh-- What do you
call it? Uh....
42
00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:34,672
--coldblooded.
43
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:17,673
LANA:
Archer? Archer? Archer? Grr.
44
00:04:17,841 --> 00:04:20,718
Have you seen Archer?
Did you look in here?
45
00:04:20,886 --> 00:04:22,803
That is what I'm doing now.
46
00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:25,514
Then, I guess go look everywhere else.
You know....
47
00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:27,350
CHERYL:
Starting with Dick-cheese, Wisconsin.
48
00:04:29,311 --> 00:04:30,061
Excuse me?
49
00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:31,812
Him and--
He and....
50
00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:34,023
Whomever and--
Whoever and....
51
00:04:35,359 --> 00:04:39,278
If you wake this child,
I will climb inside you with my shoes on.
52
00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:42,657
He and Pam
are at her sister's wedding.
53
00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:45,451
In Wisconsin?
54
00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:46,661
[CRYING]
55
00:04:46,828 --> 00:04:49,538
Happy? No, no, no.
He's got her all weekend.
56
00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:51,457
I'm going upstate for SERE school.
57
00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:54,543
So take her with you.
To survival school?
58
00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:56,545
Big whoop, hang her in a bear bag.
59
00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:59,924
Ugh. So, Malory....
60
00:05:00,092 --> 00:05:03,636
Nope. Ron and I are going to our house
in the Hamptons...
61
00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:07,098
...and, trust me, it would be
no place for a baby.
62
00:05:07,265 --> 00:05:12,478
You're back together? Like, for real?
And happier and stronger than ever.
63
00:05:14,272 --> 00:05:16,440
Try not to burn the place down.
64
00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:21,362
And you, my tweedy little--
What, are your boobs full of corn syrup?
65
00:05:21,530 --> 00:05:24,740
Excuse me?
Feel that, she feels chubby.
66
00:05:24,908 --> 00:05:29,120
She's a baby.
A fat little baby. Yes, you are. Yes, you are.
67
00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:31,163
You're fat little baby.
68
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:34,625
Fast forward to me buying
her liposuction for graduation.
69
00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:37,461
I hope you do burn this place down.
70
00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:40,047
She said not to.
71
00:05:40,215 --> 00:05:41,257
[GASPS]
72
00:05:41,425 --> 00:05:45,011
She said try not to.
73
00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:50,349
ARCHER: You're kidding. How either,
in this universe, or any of its infinite parallels...
74
00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:52,768
...could I possibly embarrass you?
75
00:05:52,936 --> 00:05:56,605
PAM: By dressing like a maître d'
on a dinner cruise for gay Republicans?
76
00:05:56,773 --> 00:05:58,149
That's a thing?
I don't know.
77
00:05:58,316 --> 00:06:01,402
You don't want Edie dogging you out
in front of the entire school.
78
00:06:01,570 --> 00:06:04,280
The entire what?
Rehearsal dinner. Shut up.
79
00:06:04,448 --> 00:06:08,701
Come on, what happened? Did she dump
pig's blood all over you at the prom?
80
00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:11,620
No, not pig's blood.
Wait, what?
81
00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:16,667
Hang on, did she really?
Oh my God, Pam, you look amazing.
82
00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:19,420
Really?
83
00:06:19,588 --> 00:06:21,338
I mean, you know, relatively.
84
00:06:21,506 --> 00:06:25,593
Shit-ass. But you've got to pace me,
I'm sewn into this sumbitch.
85
00:06:25,761 --> 00:06:28,929
So for every ounce that goes in,
an ounce gotta go out.
86
00:06:29,097 --> 00:06:34,351
So diuretics?
And watch this, there's a sundae bar.
87
00:06:34,519 --> 00:06:36,270
What could possibly go wrong?
88
00:06:36,438 --> 00:06:37,772
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
89
00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:39,482
Who the shit is that?
90
00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:41,859
BARRY:
Is it Barry?
91
00:06:42,027 --> 00:06:47,406
Does that mean Barry possibly, literally froze
his nuts off in the wheel-well of a 747...
92
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:50,701
...so he could murder
the shit-eating Archer?
93
00:06:51,536 --> 00:06:54,830
Yes it does, other Barry. Oh, yes.
94
00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:57,833
ARCHER:
Okay. Jesus Christ.
95
00:06:58,001 --> 00:06:59,502
[LAUGHS]
96
00:07:00,295 --> 00:07:03,464
Wow. You have got to be Edie.
97
00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:08,594
I'm Archer, uh, Pam's boyfriend.
Bullshit, my asshole.
98
00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:12,181
Pam, hon? Edie's here.
99
00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:14,433
And you will be civil and polite.
100
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:19,563
And you will not let her push your--
EDIE: Spamela! Get your fat ass out here.
101
00:07:20,315 --> 00:07:21,440
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
102
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:23,943
She should be right out, she's--
103
00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:25,820
[BOTH SHOUTING AND GRUNTING]
104
00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:35,496
Ha, ha. Yikes. Guess I should
get in there and break that up.
105
00:07:42,546 --> 00:07:45,005
LANA:
Wait, wait, wait. Wait.
106
00:07:45,173 --> 00:07:48,551
Yeah, come on. You coming?
No, but hey, I know it's late notice...
107
00:07:48,718 --> 00:07:52,012
...and I really hate to ask
but would you mind keeping A.J. for the--
108
00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:55,391
What? I'm hitting door open.
You can't see it but I really am.
109
00:07:55,559 --> 00:07:58,394
Oh, my God,
it's just like maximum overdrive.
110
00:07:58,562 --> 00:07:59,895
Ray.
Lana.
111
00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:03,983
On Monday let's talk about
how scary this was for me.
112
00:08:04,860 --> 00:08:08,696
Goddamn it. Let me go.
No, now just calm--
113
00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:11,282
Let me go. Shit, she's gonna--
114
00:08:11,449 --> 00:08:13,909
Jesus Christ, woman.
Whoo!
115
00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:18,122
Goddamn it. Happy?
Less than I was, to be honest.
116
00:08:18,290 --> 00:08:22,543
When? When you were chugging balls behind
whatever gay strip joint she hired you at?
117
00:08:22,711 --> 00:08:23,752
Ha, ha. Whoa.
118
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:27,423
Told you, it's that jacket.
First of all, Pam, shut up.
119
00:08:27,591 --> 00:08:30,134
I'm not the one
who chugs balls behind buildings...
120
00:08:30,302 --> 00:08:34,346
...and even if I were,
they wouldn't belong to that dude Arn.
121
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:36,223
[LAUGHING]
122
00:08:36,391 --> 00:08:40,728
Oh, God. You told him about Arn?
Arn didn't even know she was alive.
123
00:08:40,896 --> 00:08:42,229
Okay, you know what?
124
00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:44,273
Besides what Arn's balls taste like?
125
00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:46,817
Ha-ha-ha.
I....
126
00:08:47,402 --> 00:08:49,403
Aah! I am out of here.
127
00:08:49,571 --> 00:08:51,030
Pam, wait.
128
00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:54,867
Wow. And here I thought she was
kidding about the pig's blood.
129
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:56,577
No.
130
00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:02,374
It was calf's blood.
131
00:09:05,670 --> 00:09:06,754
[SOBBING]
132
00:09:06,922 --> 00:09:11,133
Stupid, fricking Edie.
I'll show her what Arn's balls taste like.
133
00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:13,761
Wait, what the? Barry?
134
00:09:13,929 --> 00:09:18,224
Hey. You.
135
00:09:19,643 --> 00:09:23,687
Hello? Krieger? You in here?
136
00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:26,023
Hey, you. What can I do you for?
137
00:09:26,191 --> 00:09:29,485
So, hey, um,
Archer totally flaked on me.
138
00:09:29,653 --> 00:09:33,030
Malory and Ray are being lame
and Cheryl is Cheryl.
139
00:09:33,198 --> 00:09:35,658
So I was wondering
if you could do me a favor.
140
00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:39,453
Yep, yep, yep,
but first, who is this little person?
141
00:09:39,621 --> 00:09:46,460
Um, A.J., my baby, who I've had for, like,
six months, who you've met.
142
00:09:46,628 --> 00:09:49,672
Okay.
Ooh. And who also has a poopy diaper.
143
00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:50,839
[GASPS]
144
00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:54,551
Great Bacchus plateau, it works.
What? What does?
145
00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:57,012
The K-9000 infrasonic pulse rifle.
146
00:09:57,180 --> 00:10:01,767
What do you mean? What does it do?
I assume you're familiar with the brown note?
147
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:04,395
I am not, no.
What?
148
00:10:04,562 --> 00:10:09,024
The brown note, the frequency that makes
humans shit their pants or their onesie.
149
00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:11,527
Ugh. I'm pretty sure that was a coincidence.
150
00:10:11,695 --> 00:10:14,071
That's what they said about
Tesla's death ray.
151
00:10:14,239 --> 00:10:16,448
So this favor....
152
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:19,702
Lana? Wait, Lana. What's the favor?
153
00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:21,954
Just promise to use
your powers for good.
154
00:10:22,497 --> 00:10:24,373
[LAUGHING]
155
00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:27,334
No.
ARCHER: Yes.
156
00:10:27,502 --> 00:10:29,712
No. Clean the jizz out of your ears, jizz-ears.
157
00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:32,965
I'm getting married tomorrow,
so tonight at my rehearsal dinner...
158
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:35,884
...I get all you can eat prime rib
and bottomless vin rouge.
159
00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:38,721
Give me that. Put it down.
We are going to go find Pam...
160
00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:41,682
...and then you are gonna apologize
for hurting her feelings.
161
00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:45,853
Why do you care? You're just a--
Wait. Are you really her boyfriend?
162
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,022
Mm-hm.
163
00:10:48,523 --> 00:10:51,066
Oh, and a secret agent so....
164
00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:52,359
[PHONE RINGING]
165
00:10:52,527 --> 00:10:57,781
And not only am I a secret agent,
I am the world's greatest secret agent.
166
00:10:57,949 --> 00:11:00,242
-Hello?
BARRY [OVER PHONE]: Ha, ha. Jesus, Archer.
167
00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:02,911
You're not even the greatest secret agent
in that room.
168
00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:05,622
Actually, Barry, that's where you're--
Wait. Barry?
169
00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:07,291
Hey, dummy.
How did you get...?
170
00:11:07,459 --> 00:11:09,752
Where are you?
How did you even know I was here?
171
00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:12,588
Uh, I followed you.
What do you mean, you followed me?
172
00:11:12,756 --> 00:11:15,466
Okay, that's obviously
your abusive ex-boyfriend...
173
00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:17,509
...so I'm just gonna tip on out.
174
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:22,097
I was on my way to New York to kill you,
when I saw you in Chicago, idiot...
175
00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:24,475
...and now you are gonna follow me.
176
00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:28,896
That is, if you ever wanna see your buddy....
Uh, wait, what was your name?
177
00:11:29,064 --> 00:11:32,399
Your worst fricking nightmare.
ARCHER: Pam?
178
00:11:32,567 --> 00:11:34,026
Oh, right, yeah, it's Pam.
179
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:36,445
Anyway, if you don't wanna
spend the next year...
180
00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:39,448
...signing for packages full of
her head and feet and shit...
181
00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:43,410
...meet me out by the old grain elevator.
Pam says Edie knows where it is.
182
00:11:43,578 --> 00:11:46,163
Now, you listen to me,
Barry, you-- Barry.
183
00:11:46,331 --> 00:11:50,667
Goddamn, son-of-a-cyborg bitch.
What, he give you anal warts?
184
00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:55,339
He kidnapped your sister, you jerk.
What? Who'd wanna kidnap Pam?
185
00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:57,174
I'll tell you in the car. Come on.
186
00:11:57,342 --> 00:12:00,969
Look, I know you're bitter because you people
can't get married or whatever...
187
00:12:01,137 --> 00:12:04,098
...but all-you-care-to-eat prime rib.
188
00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:08,102
Ugh. Well, Edie, I was almost half-way hoping
it wouldn't come to this.
189
00:12:08,269 --> 00:12:09,937
Come to what--
190
00:12:10,647 --> 00:12:16,276
CYRIL: Hello? Lana?
No.
191
00:12:16,444 --> 00:12:19,905
What are you still doing here?
I thought you had Rambo sleepaway camp.
192
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:24,159
SERE school. And I did but Archer
hosed me, and I don't have a sitter.
193
00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:27,830
Oh, well you should have asked--
I asked everybody, even Krieger.
194
00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:33,752
I-- Wow. So you'd ask Krieger to watch
your baby before you'd ask me?
195
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:36,755
I didn't-- Well, that would be weird.
196
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:40,008
Weirder than the guy trying to make
some kind of ejaculation ray?
197
00:12:40,176 --> 00:12:45,180
No, it's a pants-shitting ray.
Okay, well, then, that's new but--
198
00:12:45,348 --> 00:12:46,849
Cyril, look--
How about this?
199
00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:49,143
I'll drive you both upstate
and get us a motel room.
200
00:12:49,310 --> 00:12:52,521
Ha, ha. What?
For A.J. and me.
201
00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:55,357
While you run around the woods
eating snails and beetles.
202
00:12:55,525 --> 00:12:59,236
That way if you get anxious about being
away from her, we're right there.
203
00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:02,364
This is weird. Why is this weird?
204
00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:06,368
Because what kind of sick bastard
travels with duct tape and rope?
205
00:13:06,536 --> 00:13:09,580
No, we actually made a couple of stops
while you were knocked out.
206
00:13:09,747 --> 00:13:13,375
Had to get more Tom for the Collins--
Oh, and also rob a gun store.
207
00:13:13,543 --> 00:13:15,961
Wait, what?
Well, technically, burgle.
208
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:18,797
How long was I out?
Mm, twenty minutes?
209
00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:21,633
Damn it.
Yeah, that is not good for you.
210
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:24,803
No, turn around dick-nuts,
I can still make the rehearsal dinner.
211
00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:30,058
After we rescue Pam. Now, shut up.
Oh, and un-shut up for a second.
212
00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:33,729
Is this the way to the grain elevator?
Uh, oh, yeah, right down that road.
213
00:13:33,897 --> 00:13:36,482
Take a left. Take a left.
214
00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:39,193
Even for me, that was pretty lucky.
215
00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:44,531
Woo-hoo! Rental car!
216
00:13:45,533 --> 00:13:48,952
BARRY:
There we go. Looking good, Barry.
217
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:50,579
Well, thanks, other Barry.
218
00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:55,209
Archer comes in to save her and,
boosh, kill zone.
219
00:13:55,376 --> 00:14:00,756
So you're just bug-nuts crazy?
Ha, ha. Crazy like a fox.
220
00:14:00,924 --> 00:14:03,467
Who's bionic.
221
00:14:03,635 --> 00:14:07,763
And whose fiancé dumped him,
for literally the dumbest guy in Russia.
222
00:14:07,931 --> 00:14:09,806
Who want waffle?
223
00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:14,436
I forget to make waffle.
224
00:14:14,604 --> 00:14:18,440
Oh. And just so you know, my worst nightmare,
which is actually recurring...
225
00:14:18,608 --> 00:14:21,276
...is me and Santa Claus
getting chased through the snow...
226
00:14:21,444 --> 00:14:23,612
...by Lurch from The Addam's Family.
227
00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:26,532
Uh, why did you tell me that?
228
00:14:26,908 --> 00:14:30,702
Ha, ha. Exactly.
229
00:14:34,958 --> 00:14:39,878
ARCHER: Piece-of-shit rental.
EDIE: Pfft. You drive like a egg.
230
00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:45,175
I-- No, I don't and also, shut up
because right now I'm going to explain...
231
00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:50,055
...what cyborgs are and why
they're a threat to our entire way of life.
232
00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:56,311
I mean, not now, obviously.
But someday. Someday soon....
233
00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:58,105
[SNORING]
234
00:14:59,107 --> 00:15:01,984
[SINGSONG]
I am gonna re-hit that.
235
00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:04,486
Huh? Hmm?
236
00:15:04,988 --> 00:15:08,448
Hey, you.
Hello.
237
00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:11,118
Wait. Who's laws of what's-its?
238
00:15:11,286 --> 00:15:14,371
Asimov's three laws of--
Look, never mind.
239
00:15:14,539 --> 00:15:17,416
They don't even apply to Barry
because he's a fricking cyborg.
240
00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:23,755
BARRY:
Archer, come out and play.
241
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:27,926
Ugh. And also a gaping, prolapsed anus.
242
00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:32,389
So grain elevator. Besides a place
to blow farmers, what's the point?
243
00:15:32,557 --> 00:15:34,266
To store grain, dumbass.
244
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:37,269
Yeah, but you elevator it
way the hell up there, then....
245
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:40,272
Wait, cows don't go up there to eat it,
do they?
246
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:45,694
Oh, my God, no. It's gravity fed back down
to trucks and trains and shit.
247
00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:48,363
Which are on the ground.
Yes.
248
00:15:48,531 --> 00:15:49,906
See where I'm going with this?
249
00:15:50,074 --> 00:15:53,994
Why not make it horizontal, so the cows
can just walk up and eat whenever?
250
00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:57,831
So just a mile long trough of grain
getting rained on all the damn time.
251
00:15:57,999 --> 00:16:04,504
I-- Well, no, it'd have, like,
a salad-bar roof on it, you idiot.
252
00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:07,883
BARRY:
Said the dumb waiter. Get it, Archer?
253
00:16:08,051 --> 00:16:10,927
As in, you're dumb
and you dress like a waiter.
254
00:16:11,095 --> 00:16:12,512
PAM:
Told you.
255
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:15,599
Goddamn it, Pam, this is exactly
what a man should wear to a--
256
00:16:17,435 --> 00:16:19,936
EDIE: Holy shit-snacks.
ARCHER: What the-- Pam?
257
00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:21,938
Yeah, and just a heads-up--
258
00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:23,482
[SHOUTING]
259
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:25,108
Whoa!
Ha, ha.
260
00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:27,569
Damn it, Pam. How about a....
261
00:16:27,737 --> 00:16:30,656
Oh, wait by heads-up, did you mean--
262
00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:32,115
[ARCHER GRUNTING]
263
00:16:32,283 --> 00:16:34,117
[GROANING]
264
00:16:38,456 --> 00:16:42,834
Seriously, Barry, why all the anger?
Because Katya broke up with me.
265
00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:44,252
[LAUGHING]
266
00:16:46,589 --> 00:16:48,215
[SHOUTING THEN COUGHING]
267
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:51,301
Too soon?
268
00:16:51,469 --> 00:16:52,886
[GROANING]
269
00:16:53,054 --> 00:16:54,930
Edie, cut me down.
270
00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:57,349
Oh, wow, where to start?
271
00:16:57,517 --> 00:17:01,937
Even in a new dress, you look like
ten pounds of shit in a five-pound bag.
272
00:17:02,105 --> 00:17:05,565
The whole town thinks you're a giant asshole
for moving to New York City.
273
00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:07,234
You can just say New York.
274
00:17:08,611 --> 00:17:12,155
Oh, and Dad was right,
you'll never find a husband...
275
00:17:12,323 --> 00:17:15,450
...unless you convince a blind man
you're a seeing-eye pig.
276
00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:17,202
[SOBBING]
277
00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:22,708
I meant cut me down from here.
Yeah. Duh.
278
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:27,963
Heh. But you know you're no prize, right?
Excuse me?
279
00:17:28,131 --> 00:17:29,297
He said--
280
00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:31,133
[EDIE AND BARRY
GRUNTING AND SHOUTING]
281
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:32,467
[CHUCKLES]
282
00:17:38,015 --> 00:17:40,142
Archer. Do something.
283
00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:42,894
Flower box. Shotgun.
284
00:17:46,107 --> 00:17:47,149
PAM:
Ow.
285
00:17:50,111 --> 00:17:51,611
[CHOKING]
286
00:17:52,989 --> 00:17:58,243
Hey, tracksuit, if anybody's gonna choke
my sister's bitch neck...
287
00:17:58,411 --> 00:17:59,911
...it's gonna be me.
288
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:04,332
Ha, ha. What are you doing?
What, you got a little shotgun? Huh?
289
00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:08,170
Yeah, remember right now?
When I'm a fricking cyborg?
290
00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:13,425
Barry, just for you, I got explosive ammo.
291
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:17,429
You what now?
Jesus Christ, you could have killed me.
292
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,222
Shut up.
293
00:18:19,390 --> 00:18:24,770
Huh. I mean, I'm not a doctor
or a roboticist...
294
00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:28,774
...but, uh, that can't be good.
So hey, why don't we all do this--
295
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:31,860
Oh, God.
296
00:18:32,028 --> 00:18:33,945
[DISTORTED]
Forgot what I was gonna say.
297
00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:39,493
[BARRY SHOUTING]
298
00:18:53,424 --> 00:18:56,092
So, "Thank you"?
For?
299
00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:59,930
Saving your life?
Oh. I thought you were thanking me...
300
00:19:00,097 --> 00:19:05,811
...for dropping those truth bombs.
What? You'll never find a husband.
301
00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:11,733
PAM: So you really think he's dead?
Only one way to be sure.
302
00:19:20,368 --> 00:19:22,953
Hello? I'm sorry, what?
303
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:26,248
Shut up, no. No. Uh-uh.
What are you saying, Don?
304
00:19:26,415 --> 00:19:27,582
[AMBULANCE SIRENS WAILING]
305
00:19:27,750 --> 00:19:31,169
Sir, sir, over there. Is that a man?
306
00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:35,549
Yeah, you're damn right it is.
307
00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:41,304
Hey, but slow down, though, we're, hey--
308
00:19:43,432 --> 00:19:46,601
Jesus Christ, Arn.
ARN: Huh.
309
00:19:46,769 --> 00:19:48,895
I think I got a blowjob out here once.
310
00:19:49,063 --> 00:19:53,275
A what? I'm sorry, did you say "a blowjob"?
311
00:19:53,442 --> 00:19:56,570
What? Yes. Of course it's off, Don.
312
00:19:56,737 --> 00:19:58,989
[SHOUTING]
313
00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:00,991
[SIGHS]
314
00:20:01,158 --> 00:20:04,786
So apparently,
Don over-served on vin rouge...
315
00:20:04,954 --> 00:20:08,957
...and increasingly impatient for his
bride-to-be's arrival at the rehearsal dinner...
316
00:20:09,125 --> 00:20:12,252
...let Midge Olerud suck him off
behind the sundae bar.
317
00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:14,588
[LAUGHING]
318
00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:19,593
Too soon?
So thank you, Pamela, for ruining my wedding.
319
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:25,181
Oh, and also, my life.
You ruined my life. Are you happy?
320
00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:27,142
Hmm.
321
00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:31,688
Yes. Ha, ha. All I wanted.
322
00:20:31,856 --> 00:20:33,315
[PAM SIGHS]
323
00:21:02,511 --> 00:21:04,262
[LAUGHING]
324
00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:09,851
Vfft. Ha, ha.
26352
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