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1
00:00:01,914 --> 00:00:04,178
[ orchestral music plays ]
2
00:00:04,221 --> 00:00:07,659
[ announcer speaks ]
3
00:00:10,488 --> 00:00:11,359
[ arrows whizzing ]
4
00:00:34,947 --> 00:00:35,731
[ sheep bleating ]
5
00:00:45,654 --> 00:00:47,395
[ accordion music playing ]
6
00:00:51,181 --> 00:00:52,748
Your knockwurst, sir.
7
00:00:52,791 --> 00:00:54,228
Yeah?
What about 'em?
8
00:00:54,271 --> 00:00:56,447
Oh, thank you
Brunhilda.
9
00:00:56,491 --> 00:00:59,537
Greetings, "ALF Tale"
aficionados.
10
00:00:59,581 --> 00:01:01,583
And welcome to
today's ALF Tale--
11
00:01:01,626 --> 00:01:03,193
"Hansel and Gretel."
12
00:01:03,237 --> 00:01:05,935
Hey, is that "Hansel"
as in "tonsil"?
13
00:01:05,978 --> 00:01:09,112
No, it's "Hansel"
as in "cancel,"
14
00:01:09,156 --> 00:01:12,028
which is what's
gonna happen to this show
if you're not funny.
15
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,638
Everyone's a comic.
16
00:01:13,682 --> 00:01:15,379
Check, please.
17
00:01:17,425 --> 00:01:20,254
"Hansel and Gretel"
is the story of a
plump Bavarian,
18
00:01:20,297 --> 00:01:22,908
whose immense appetite
gets him in hot water.
19
00:01:22,952 --> 00:01:25,737
That's why I'm stuffing
my snout with sauerkraut--
20
00:01:25,781 --> 00:01:27,261
to help get into character.
21
00:01:29,306 --> 00:01:31,091
Who is your character?
A Buick?
22
00:01:32,657 --> 00:01:35,660
Ha ha.
Expect no tip.
23
00:01:38,010 --> 00:01:40,535
The time?
Once upon a.
24
00:01:40,578 --> 00:01:43,146
The place?
Somewhere foreign.
25
00:01:43,190 --> 00:01:45,409
Girl:
Hansel, come on.
We've got work to do.
26
00:01:45,453 --> 00:01:48,369
Here, you carry
the bowling balls.
27
00:01:49,674 --> 00:01:51,720
[ grunts ]
28
00:01:51,763 --> 00:01:54,984
That's my sister Gretel,
bless her heart.
29
00:01:55,027 --> 00:01:57,247
We're selling bowling balls
door to door
30
00:01:57,291 --> 00:01:59,597
to raise money
for our college education.
31
00:02:05,516 --> 00:02:07,301
Hansel, I think
we're lost.
32
00:02:07,344 --> 00:02:09,390
Where's the map?
33
00:02:09,433 --> 00:02:11,783
This isn't a map
of the forest.
34
00:02:11,827 --> 00:02:14,134
It was the last one
they had at the AAA.
35
00:02:15,483 --> 00:02:17,311
Huh. Should we
go this way
36
00:02:17,354 --> 00:02:19,095
or that way?
37
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,705
Let's go that way.
38
00:02:20,749 --> 00:02:23,491
- Why that way?
- Well, for one thing,
39
00:02:23,534 --> 00:02:25,928
- the other way is blocked
by a pack of hungry wolves.
- [ snarling, growling ]
40
00:02:25,971 --> 00:02:26,885
[ gasps ]
41
00:02:30,367 --> 00:02:31,803
Something's wrong,
Hansel.
42
00:02:31,847 --> 00:02:34,241
We haven't sold
a single bowling ball.
43
00:02:34,284 --> 00:02:36,982
Could be 'cause the game
hasn't been invented yet.
44
00:02:37,026 --> 00:02:39,376
At least schlepping
these balls through
the forest
45
00:02:39,420 --> 00:02:41,596
will give you
a good workout.
46
00:02:41,639 --> 00:02:44,207
I protest.
My contract says
47
00:02:44,251 --> 00:02:46,166
nothing heavier
than breadcrumbs.
48
00:02:47,602 --> 00:02:49,604
[ grunts ]
49
00:02:49,647 --> 00:02:51,997
- [ loud thud ]
- Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
50
00:02:52,041 --> 00:02:54,435
Maybe we should reduce
our inventory.
51
00:03:01,093 --> 00:03:02,704
Lions.
52
00:03:02,747 --> 00:03:06,142
Tigers!
53
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:07,448
And Bears!
54
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:11,756
Oh, my!
55
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:14,411
Don't worry.
Big brother
will protect you.
56
00:03:14,455 --> 00:03:16,805
There's nothing
to be afraid of
in these woods anyway.
57
00:03:16,848 --> 00:03:18,633
[ yells ]
58
00:03:20,156 --> 00:03:22,506
[ cries out ]
59
00:03:22,550 --> 00:03:24,204
- [ loud thud ]
- [ Hansel grunts ]
60
00:03:24,247 --> 00:03:27,685
Hey, anybody get
the license plate
of that truck?
61
00:03:29,513 --> 00:03:32,081
Nice going, kiddo.
I think you scared
that squirrel.
62
00:03:32,124 --> 00:03:34,518
Wait a minute.
63
00:03:34,562 --> 00:03:37,782
There's not supposed
to be a porcupine
in this story.
64
00:03:37,826 --> 00:03:39,741
On page 146,
65
00:03:39,784 --> 00:03:41,699
there's a reference
to a small forest animal.
66
00:03:44,441 --> 00:03:46,530
Hi, toots.
Will you marry me?
67
00:03:46,574 --> 00:03:49,620
Are you rich?
Answer the second
question first.
68
00:03:49,664 --> 00:03:52,797
Sorry, she doesn't date
anyone with multiple quills.
69
00:03:52,841 --> 00:03:55,017
Who are you anyway?
70
00:03:55,060 --> 00:03:57,933
Let's just say
I'm on a mission.
71
00:03:57,976 --> 00:03:59,674
Hansel and Gretel:
I'm on a mission.
72
00:04:01,110 --> 00:04:04,113
Wait. Could you just
direct us to the
nearest house?
73
00:04:04,156 --> 00:04:05,810
Or taco stand.
74
00:04:05,854 --> 00:04:07,812
Well, there's
Grandmother's house,
75
00:04:07,856 --> 00:04:09,814
but that's over the river
and through the woods.
76
00:04:09,858 --> 00:04:12,295
And then
there's the three
little pigs' place.
77
00:04:12,339 --> 00:04:14,297
But we did that
last season.
78
00:04:14,341 --> 00:04:16,604
And there's Camp Eat-A-Kid.
79
00:04:16,647 --> 00:04:18,562
Camp "Eat-A-Kid"?
80
00:04:18,606 --> 00:04:19,955
I don't like
the sound of that.
81
00:04:19,998 --> 00:04:21,783
They have a cookie
orchard there.
82
00:04:21,826 --> 00:04:24,307
Point me in
the right direction.
83
00:04:24,351 --> 00:04:26,266
Go about two miles
84
00:04:26,309 --> 00:04:29,051
and hang a U
at the Enchanted Tree.
85
00:04:29,094 --> 00:04:32,576
Fruit rolls!
One of my favorite
food groups!
86
00:04:32,620 --> 00:04:35,187
Stop thinking
about your stomach.
87
00:04:35,231 --> 00:04:36,754
We're still lost.
88
00:04:36,798 --> 00:04:38,452
But at least we've got
something to eat.
89
00:04:40,932 --> 00:04:42,673
[ growls ]
Hey, sucka,
90
00:04:42,717 --> 00:04:44,284
what are you doing
with my weaves?
91
00:04:45,372 --> 00:04:47,199
Whaa!
[ grunts ]
92
00:04:47,243 --> 00:04:50,246
You must be Mr.--
93
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:52,117
the Enchanted Tree?
94
00:04:52,161 --> 00:04:53,989
We missed our
charter flight.
95
00:04:54,032 --> 00:04:56,731
Can you tell us how to get
to Camp Eat-A-Kid?
96
00:04:56,774 --> 00:04:58,559
[ growls ]
This way.
97
00:05:01,257 --> 00:05:02,911
[ both yell ]
98
00:05:05,522 --> 00:05:08,003
- Both: Wow.
- A dream come true.
99
00:05:18,056 --> 00:05:20,015
I feel a sugar rush
coming on.
100
00:05:22,191 --> 00:05:24,062
Uh, Hansel,
you don't know where
that roof has been.
101
00:05:25,934 --> 00:05:27,544
Jalapeños.
102
00:05:30,591 --> 00:05:31,983
Mangoes.
103
00:05:34,464 --> 00:05:36,510
Plump Bavarian boy.
104
00:05:40,427 --> 00:05:42,559
No plump Bavarian boy?
105
00:05:42,603 --> 00:05:44,953
The recipe
specifically calls
106
00:05:44,996 --> 00:05:48,260
for plump Bavarian boy.
No substitutes.
107
00:05:52,047 --> 00:05:53,570
This roof could use
a little bean dip.
108
00:05:54,702 --> 00:05:55,877
Yahh!
109
00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:57,095
[ grunts ]
110
00:05:57,139 --> 00:06:00,708
Well, what have we here?
111
00:06:00,751 --> 00:06:03,363
Cable repair. We fixed
your shopping channel.
112
00:06:05,016 --> 00:06:07,279
A little fattening
and he'll serve four.
113
00:06:07,323 --> 00:06:11,283
You poor, sweet,
plump Bavarian boy.
114
00:06:11,327 --> 00:06:14,025
Why don't
you stay a while
and I'll cook you--
115
00:06:14,069 --> 00:06:16,941
oy, I mean,
cook for you.
116
00:06:16,985 --> 00:06:19,117
Great!
I'm starved.
117
00:06:19,161 --> 00:06:21,772
Hansel, are you okay?
118
00:06:21,816 --> 00:06:24,949
I'm fine.
My cellulite
broke the fall.
119
00:06:24,993 --> 00:06:28,300
And I've got other plans
for the little fraulein.
120
00:06:33,131 --> 00:06:35,612
Welcome to Camp
Eat-A-Kid
121
00:06:35,656 --> 00:06:38,093
the most popular resort
in the forest.
122
00:06:40,138 --> 00:06:42,271
Uh, if it's so popular,
how come nobody's here?
123
00:06:42,314 --> 00:06:44,055
It's the off-season.
124
00:06:44,099 --> 00:06:47,363
Come spring break,
this joint will be jumping.
125
00:06:48,973 --> 00:06:50,584
Hansel, let's get
out of here.
126
00:06:50,627 --> 00:06:52,237
She gives me
the creeps.
127
00:06:52,281 --> 00:06:53,935
Relax.
She's not so bad
128
00:06:53,978 --> 00:06:55,676
for a hideously
deformed woman.
129
00:07:03,510 --> 00:07:05,425
This will be your room,
130
00:07:05,468 --> 00:07:07,470
plump Bavarian boy.
131
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:13,041
- [ lock clicks ]
- You can call me Hansel.
132
00:07:14,912 --> 00:07:16,305
Witch:
Whoops.
Wrong room.
133
00:07:28,752 --> 00:07:30,711
Hansel:
What, no mints
on the pillow?
134
00:07:30,754 --> 00:07:32,626
What kind of hotel
is this?
135
00:07:32,669 --> 00:07:34,889
Now, let me show you
your room,
136
00:07:34,932 --> 00:07:36,238
- my sweet.
- [ bones crack ]
137
00:07:42,287 --> 00:07:44,899
Sweet dreams.
[ cackling ]
138
00:07:49,512 --> 00:07:51,296
[ TV theme music
playing ]
139
00:07:54,343 --> 00:07:55,823
Life would be perfect
140
00:07:55,866 --> 00:07:57,999
if only I could get rid
of this rash.
141
00:07:58,042 --> 00:07:59,653
Woman on TV:
Today on "Okrah,"
142
00:07:59,696 --> 00:08:01,872
plump Bavarian boys
who get eaten.
143
00:08:01,916 --> 00:08:03,961
- Fact or fict--
- [ clicks, TV turns off ]
144
00:08:04,005 --> 00:08:05,659
[ birds chirping ]
145
00:08:10,533 --> 00:08:14,102
Oh, Hansel,
it's time to take
your measurements
146
00:08:14,145 --> 00:08:15,756
for our yearbook.
147
00:08:15,799 --> 00:08:17,322
[ grunts ]
148
00:08:17,366 --> 00:08:18,585
Hey, give me a hand.
149
00:08:33,425 --> 00:08:35,384
Almost ready.
150
00:08:35,427 --> 00:08:37,429
You look
a little thin.
151
00:08:37,473 --> 00:08:39,823
Are you sure
you're eating enough?
152
00:08:39,867 --> 00:08:42,652
It's my metabolism.
I can eat all I want
153
00:08:42,696 --> 00:08:44,480
and it never shows.
154
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,656
Oops.
155
00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:48,919
I'll have
to check the warranty
on my liposuction.
156
00:08:48,963 --> 00:08:51,443
You look fine.
157
00:08:51,487 --> 00:08:54,316
Here, have another can
of Krisco.
158
00:08:54,359 --> 00:08:57,101
No, thanks,
but that's Gretel's fav.
159
00:08:57,145 --> 00:08:58,494
By the way,
where is she?
160
00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:01,802
Oh, she's having
breakfast in bed.
161
00:09:07,372 --> 00:09:10,071
- Man: Hey, where's
our s-s-slop?
- Man #2: Yeah.
162
00:09:11,594 --> 00:09:12,726
Who said that?
163
00:09:12,769 --> 00:09:14,031
♪ Hello.
164
00:09:14,075 --> 00:09:15,772
♪ Hello.
165
00:09:15,816 --> 00:09:17,295
♪ Hello.
166
00:09:17,339 --> 00:09:19,994
Hello.
We're Theodore and Simon.
167
00:09:20,037 --> 00:09:21,865
I thought there were
three of you guys.
168
00:09:21,909 --> 00:09:24,868
A-a-all we know
is we came for a vacation.
169
00:09:24,912 --> 00:09:27,044
The old lady gave the kid
a deluxe suite
170
00:09:27,088 --> 00:09:29,743
and made us prisoners.
171
00:09:29,786 --> 00:09:32,746
Gee, that happened to me
and my portly brother Hansel.
172
00:09:32,789 --> 00:09:37,141
A-a-and we haven't
heard from Alvin since--
173
00:09:37,185 --> 00:09:40,623
Rise and shine,
happy campers.
174
00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:42,712
We've got a feast
to prepare.
175
00:09:49,327 --> 00:09:51,242
[ footsteps ]
176
00:09:53,941 --> 00:09:56,030
Peel these kumquats
on the double
177
00:09:56,073 --> 00:09:57,640
and throw them
into the pot.
178
00:09:57,684 --> 00:09:59,642
What are we having
for dinner?
179
00:09:59,686 --> 00:10:02,166
I believe
the appropriate word
180
00:10:02,210 --> 00:10:04,516
is "who"?
[ cackles ]
181
00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:10,000
"Who"? What kind
of cookbook is she using?
182
00:10:11,567 --> 00:10:15,266
- There it is.
- What about the troll?
183
00:10:15,310 --> 00:10:17,268
- Simon: He looks
kind of sleepy.
- [ snoring ]
184
00:10:17,312 --> 00:10:19,619
Maybe a lullaby would
send him to dreamland.
185
00:10:21,708 --> 00:10:23,318
[ vocalizing
"Rock-a-bye Baby" ]
186
00:10:27,235 --> 00:10:29,759
♪ Don't worry,
be sleepy. ♪
187
00:10:31,108 --> 00:10:33,371
I guess he was sleepier
than I thought.
188
00:10:33,415 --> 00:10:35,156
On the count of three:
189
00:10:35,199 --> 00:10:38,028
one, two, three!
190
00:10:39,726 --> 00:10:41,466
[ chains clanking ]
191
00:11:00,964 --> 00:11:03,880
Boy, he could sleep
through breaking dishes,
192
00:11:03,924 --> 00:11:06,448
clanking chains,
and other live
sound effects.
193
00:11:09,581 --> 00:11:12,454
She's an evil witch.
194
00:11:12,497 --> 00:11:15,152
[ Gretel reading ]
195
00:11:25,380 --> 00:11:26,816
I've got
to warn Hansel!
196
00:11:32,604 --> 00:11:34,128
Hello, room service?
197
00:11:34,171 --> 00:11:36,434
I'd like to order
two large pizzas.
198
00:11:36,478 --> 00:11:39,046
Extra tabby paws.
Hold the swimmers
and gaggers.
199
00:11:41,788 --> 00:11:44,704
Sis! So you've been in
the Polynesian coconut relay.
200
00:11:44,747 --> 00:11:47,750
And nice outfit!
I'm getting a sarong.
201
00:11:47,794 --> 00:11:50,274
Hansel, we've got
to get out of here.
202
00:11:50,318 --> 00:11:52,146
That old lady's a witch
and plans to have
you for dinner.
203
00:11:52,189 --> 00:11:54,017
Of course she plans
to have me for dinner.
204
00:11:54,061 --> 00:11:55,671
I just ordered a pizza.
205
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:58,413
No, porko, she's eating
you for dinner.
206
00:11:58,456 --> 00:12:00,371
Here, look at this book.
207
00:12:02,983 --> 00:12:04,767
Hmm. Tasty!
208
00:12:07,770 --> 00:12:10,773
That's me!
She can't eat the star!
209
00:12:10,817 --> 00:12:12,775
Y-y-yes she can.
210
00:12:12,819 --> 00:12:14,690
Let's boogie!
211
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:16,910
But we haven't even been
formally introduced.
212
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,835
- [ pings ]
- [ Witch yells ]
213
00:12:30,401 --> 00:12:32,186
What happened here?
214
00:12:32,229 --> 00:12:33,927
Where are my prisoners?
215
00:12:33,970 --> 00:12:35,755
Where's my cookbook?
216
00:12:35,798 --> 00:12:38,148
And most importantly,
why am I talking
to a lizard?
217
00:12:38,192 --> 00:12:40,368
To the pool!
218
00:12:40,411 --> 00:12:43,240
Hansel, this is Theodore.
Theodore, this is Hansel.
219
00:12:43,284 --> 00:12:46,156
Weren't you president
of my 7th grade home loan?
220
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:47,636
All: Whoa!
221
00:12:56,253 --> 00:12:58,821
Witch:
And don't think
about escaping.
222
00:12:58,865 --> 00:13:01,781
Troll will be
watching the door.
223
00:13:01,824 --> 00:13:04,653
If we can't get out
the door, we'll have
to tunnel our way out.
224
00:13:07,656 --> 00:13:09,223
Aren't you done yet?
225
00:13:09,266 --> 00:13:11,051
Hey, watch it.
226
00:13:11,094 --> 00:13:14,184
Quit complaining.
You got us into
this mess.
227
00:13:14,228 --> 00:13:16,970
I'm not complaining.
I'm supervising.
228
00:13:17,013 --> 00:13:18,754
We're done.
229
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:20,060
Come on down.
230
00:13:20,103 --> 00:13:22,018
Banzai!
231
00:13:23,193 --> 00:13:25,065
I'm stuck!
232
00:13:25,108 --> 00:13:27,371
Call the network.
I think there's
a movie in this.
233
00:13:29,112 --> 00:13:30,635
[ Hansel grunting ]
234
00:13:34,117 --> 00:13:36,816
I told you not to eat
everything in sight.
235
00:13:36,859 --> 00:13:38,992
Hey, I'm a growing
Bavarian boy.
236
00:13:46,913 --> 00:13:48,610
Well?
237
00:13:48,653 --> 00:13:51,091
Jersey City.
No way.
238
00:13:54,877 --> 00:13:56,531
[ crowd cheering ]
239
00:13:58,272 --> 00:13:59,403
[ yells ]
240
00:14:01,188 --> 00:14:02,754
What was wrong
that time?
241
00:14:02,798 --> 00:14:04,626
Cartoon cliché.
242
00:14:06,149 --> 00:14:07,368
Ouch!
243
00:14:07,411 --> 00:14:09,805
Is it time
for a commercial yet?
244
00:14:11,807 --> 00:14:15,724
Oops.
Nice oven.
Self-cleaning?
245
00:14:15,767 --> 00:14:19,380
So glad you could
make it for dinner.
246
00:14:19,423 --> 00:14:21,251
[ cackling ]
247
00:14:32,436 --> 00:14:35,352
I'll be back to get you
in one hour.
248
00:14:35,396 --> 00:14:37,659
In the meantime,
249
00:14:38,790 --> 00:14:40,662
pig out!
250
00:14:49,453 --> 00:14:52,195
I must say,
tunneling out of prison
251
00:14:52,239 --> 00:14:53,893
sure gives you
an appetite.
252
00:14:53,936 --> 00:14:55,677
Hold it.
253
00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:58,027
She wouldn't want you
if you were skinny!
254
00:14:58,071 --> 00:15:01,596
What?
She only wanted me
for my body?
255
00:15:01,639 --> 00:15:04,947
I know! You have to
get rid of that flab
and fast!
256
00:15:04,991 --> 00:15:07,123
But I'm the perfect
weight for someone
257
00:15:07,167 --> 00:15:09,560
who does nothing
but eat and watch TV
all day.
258
00:15:09,604 --> 00:15:11,736
Not another bite.
259
00:15:11,780 --> 00:15:13,521
You are going on
a crash diet.
260
00:15:14,652 --> 00:15:16,524
[ '80s pop music plays ]
261
00:15:17,786 --> 00:15:19,135
Hey!
262
00:15:23,705 --> 00:15:25,794
[ panting ]
263
00:15:36,805 --> 00:15:37,762
[ loud crash ]
264
00:15:39,155 --> 00:15:40,548
[ grunting ]
265
00:15:43,377 --> 00:15:44,813
One more, Hansel.
You can do it.
266
00:15:48,034 --> 00:15:49,861
[ yells ]
267
00:15:51,211 --> 00:15:52,864
Gretel:
And four. And five.
268
00:15:52,908 --> 00:15:55,911
- And six.
- Simon: Go for the burn.
269
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:58,131
I'd rather go
for the doughnuts.
270
00:15:58,174 --> 00:16:00,307
Hey, look!
Aliens are landing.
271
00:16:04,615 --> 00:16:06,617
Come on.
I'm hungry.
272
00:16:06,661 --> 00:16:08,619
- So's the witch.
- [ grunting ]
273
00:16:13,668 --> 00:16:16,627
Wow. I've slimmed down
to "Pudgy."
274
00:16:16,671 --> 00:16:18,586
Come on, Hansel,
275
00:16:18,629 --> 00:16:20,849
you still
have five pounds
of ugly fat to go.
276
00:16:23,069 --> 00:16:26,202
That tacky music--
I can't control myself.
277
00:16:34,341 --> 00:16:35,907
9,021...
278
00:16:35,951 --> 00:16:37,953
9,022...
279
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,520
G-g-go, Hansel!
280
00:16:49,791 --> 00:16:52,446
A million and one.
A million and two.
281
00:16:52,489 --> 00:16:54,013
Come on,
you lazybones.
282
00:16:54,056 --> 00:16:55,710
Gretel:
But we're chained.
283
00:16:55,753 --> 00:16:57,277
No pain, no gain.
284
00:17:02,369 --> 00:17:04,110
She'll be here
any minute.
285
00:17:04,153 --> 00:17:07,200
This sauna should melt off
those last few pounds.
286
00:17:07,243 --> 00:17:09,680
Gretel, call my tailor.
Everything gets taken in.
287
00:17:12,727 --> 00:17:14,903
Where's my main course?
288
00:17:17,210 --> 00:17:18,776
[ all coughing ]
289
00:17:21,214 --> 00:17:23,172
Go ahead,
make my dinner.
290
00:17:23,216 --> 00:17:25,740
Get him!
291
00:17:27,176 --> 00:17:28,960
But I thought
he had to be fat.
292
00:17:29,004 --> 00:17:31,137
Hey, I gotta watch
my cholesterol too.
293
00:17:34,270 --> 00:17:35,793
[ grunting ]
294
00:17:38,492 --> 00:17:40,102
[ creature squealing ]
295
00:17:52,506 --> 00:17:54,290
I told you to wash
the gym socks!
296
00:17:59,034 --> 00:18:01,515
One more step
and the reptile gets it.
297
00:18:03,169 --> 00:18:04,822
All right, witch,
into the sauna.
298
00:18:10,045 --> 00:18:12,569
You're good with
the Limburger, Hansel.
299
00:18:12,613 --> 00:18:16,138
Hey, I'm a cheese whiz.
Hah!
300
00:18:16,182 --> 00:18:17,444
[ Gretel giggles ]
301
00:18:20,011 --> 00:18:20,969
Wait.
302
00:18:23,363 --> 00:18:25,495
I'm not leaving the forest
without my bowling balls.
303
00:18:31,066 --> 00:18:33,938
Hmm.
304
00:18:33,982 --> 00:18:35,592
Not bad.
305
00:18:35,636 --> 00:18:37,116
After them!
306
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:42,295
Come on, guys.
We're not out of
the woods yet.
307
00:18:42,338 --> 00:18:43,818
Catchy slogan.
308
00:18:46,255 --> 00:18:47,822
[ alarms blaring ]
309
00:18:47,865 --> 00:18:50,825
[ cackles ]
310
00:18:50,868 --> 00:18:54,002
How do you like
my home security system?
311
00:18:54,045 --> 00:18:55,525
You left out
the pit bull.
312
00:18:56,744 --> 00:18:58,006
[ groans ]
313
00:18:59,877 --> 00:19:01,749
Everybody to
the volleyball net.
314
00:19:01,792 --> 00:19:03,359
You know
I can't spike.
315
00:19:09,713 --> 00:19:12,151
You know, this flying-
through-the-air stuff
is getting old.
316
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:18,592
And these landings
are murder.
317
00:19:18,635 --> 00:19:19,897
Next time,
I get a stuntperson.
318
00:19:25,773 --> 00:19:27,731
How'd you get here
so fast?
319
00:19:27,775 --> 00:19:30,125
What do you think
this broomstick's for?
320
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:32,345
Light housework?
I'm a witch!
321
00:19:32,388 --> 00:19:34,085
There, I said it.
322
00:19:34,129 --> 00:19:35,391
Thank you for sharing.
323
00:19:35,435 --> 00:19:37,219
What are we
going to do?
324
00:19:37,263 --> 00:19:39,787
I don't know about you,
but I feel like bowling.
325
00:19:43,486 --> 00:19:44,922
Strike!
326
00:19:46,402 --> 00:19:47,882
Nice work, boys.
327
00:19:47,925 --> 00:19:49,492
These are the creeps
I've been chasing.
328
00:19:49,536 --> 00:19:51,886
How did you
find us?
329
00:19:51,929 --> 00:19:54,236
I got a tip from some forest
creature named Alvin.
330
00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:56,151
H-h-he escaped!
331
00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:58,022
We're a trio again!
332
00:19:58,066 --> 00:20:00,547
And you two will get
a fine reward for this.
333
00:20:00,590 --> 00:20:02,636
Our college education!
334
00:20:03,767 --> 00:20:05,726
How about me?
335
00:20:05,769 --> 00:20:07,815
I hope you like
prison food.
336
00:20:10,818 --> 00:20:13,037
But we're still lost!
337
00:20:13,081 --> 00:20:16,040
- [ wails ]
- No, we're not.
338
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:20,393
[ loud clank ]
339
00:20:20,436 --> 00:20:22,351
[ playing rock music ]
340
00:20:26,137 --> 00:20:29,097
Has-beens.
There's our ticket out.
341
00:20:29,140 --> 00:20:31,230
It's my trail
of bowling balls.
342
00:20:35,321 --> 00:20:37,105
Gretel:
Back to civilization.
343
00:20:37,148 --> 00:20:39,107
Bright lights,
big city.
344
00:20:39,150 --> 00:20:42,589
Hansel:
Gridlock, acid rain,
trash TV.
345
00:20:42,632 --> 00:20:44,025
Oh, I love
happy endings.
346
00:20:47,115 --> 00:20:49,117
Hansel:
When we got out
of the forest,
347
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:51,032
Theodore and Simon
were reunited with Alvin.
348
00:20:51,075 --> 00:20:54,165
Gretel became
an aerobics instructor.
349
00:20:54,209 --> 00:20:56,646
And me? Well,
I gained back the weight
350
00:20:56,690 --> 00:20:58,257
and invented bowling.
351
00:21:07,353 --> 00:21:09,224
Hey!
Another hole in one!
352
00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:12,140
Hah!
353
00:21:12,183 --> 00:21:16,144
- ♪ Gordon, send us...
- ♪ Oh, send us...
354
00:21:16,187 --> 00:21:21,149
♪ Into outer space
355
00:21:21,192 --> 00:21:26,459
♪ 'Cause there ain't
nobody like you ♪
356
00:21:26,502 --> 00:21:31,725
♪ In the Melmacian race
357
00:21:31,768 --> 00:21:34,815
♪ Teach us, Gordon
358
00:21:34,858 --> 00:21:37,078
♪ Make us twitch.
359
00:21:39,863 --> 00:21:41,387
Hah!
I kill me!
24791
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