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1
00:00:28,811 --> 00:00:33,207
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
LIONS GATE HOME ENTERTAINMENT
2
00:00:35,861 --> 00:00:37,776
HELLO AND WELCOME
TO NIGHTLINE.
3
00:00:37,820 --> 00:00:39,517
NAH, JUST KIDDING YA.
4
00:00:39,561 --> 00:00:44,435
TODAY'S ALF TALE IS
FROM THE STORIES
OF THE BROTHERS GRIMM.
5
00:00:46,742 --> 00:00:48,744
LET'S PEEK IN.
6
00:00:53,879 --> 00:00:55,577
OOF!
7
00:00:57,753 --> 00:00:58,623
UNH!
8
00:00:58,667 --> 00:01:00,147
[BOTH LAUGH]
9
00:01:00,190 --> 00:01:02,410
WOW!
10
00:01:02,453 --> 00:01:04,368
YOU'D NEVER GUESS THEIR NAME
WAS GRIMM, WOULD YOU?
11
00:01:04,412 --> 00:01:07,415
AND THAT'S WHAT
TODAY'S SHOW IS ABOUT--
12
00:01:07,458 --> 00:01:08,720
A NAME.
13
00:01:08,764 --> 00:01:10,418
PARTICULARLY THE NAME
OF A CURIOUS LITTLE FELLA.
14
00:01:10,461 --> 00:01:13,856
AND IT'S UP TO ME
TO FIND OUT THAT NAME.
15
00:01:13,899 --> 00:01:15,727
WHY?
16
00:01:15,771 --> 00:01:17,555
BECAUSE I PLAY
A PRIVATE EYE.
17
00:01:17,599 --> 00:01:23,083
I'LL MEET YOU INSIDE
AFTER THE TITLES, SWEETHEART.
18
00:01:38,620 --> 00:01:40,143
WHY A PRIVATE EYE?
19
00:01:40,187 --> 00:01:44,365
MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE I SEE
MYSELF AS A WHITE KNIGHT
20
00:01:44,408 --> 00:01:46,671
IN AN EVER DARKENING WORLD.
21
00:01:46,715 --> 00:01:47,933
THAT MEANS I'M A GOOD GUY.
22
00:01:47,977 --> 00:01:51,502
BUT EVEN GOOD GUYS
HAVE BAD DAYS.
23
00:01:51,546 --> 00:01:54,897
AND MINE STARTED
WHEN SHE WALKED IN.
24
00:01:54,940 --> 00:01:56,464
PFFT!
25
00:01:56,507 --> 00:01:58,335
SHE WAS A KNOCKOUT.
26
00:01:58,379 --> 00:02:01,164
THE KIND OF GIRL
WHO COULD MAKE
MR. SPOCK SPEAK FRENCH.
27
00:02:01,208 --> 00:02:04,950
EXCUSE ME. DID YOU
SAY SOMETHING?
28
00:02:04,994 --> 00:02:06,256
UH, UH, NO.
29
00:02:06,300 --> 00:02:07,953
CAN I HELP YOU?
30
00:02:07,997 --> 00:02:10,652
MAYBE, GUMSHOE.
GOT A LIGHT?
31
00:02:12,654 --> 00:02:13,698
THANK YOU.
32
00:02:13,742 --> 00:02:16,658
I NEED YOU TO FIND
A MAN'S NAME FOR ME.
33
00:02:16,701 --> 00:02:17,746
WHOSE NAME?
34
00:02:17,789 --> 00:02:19,704
IF I KNEW HIS NAME,
I'D KNOW HIS NAME.
35
00:02:19,748 --> 00:02:22,925
I HAVE A FEELING
A FLASHBACK WOULD HELP
CLEAR THINGS UP.
36
00:02:22,968 --> 00:02:24,796
IT ALL STARTED
LAST MONTH.
37
00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:26,276
I WAS WAITING
FOR MY FATHER,
38
00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:28,713
THE MILLER,
TO COME HOME.
39
00:02:31,499 --> 00:02:33,153
[DOOR OPENS]
40
00:02:35,894 --> 00:02:38,593
HELLO, FATHER.
HOW WAS MILLING
TODAY?
41
00:02:38,636 --> 00:02:40,464
I MUST'VE MILLED
FOR HOURS.
42
00:02:40,508 --> 00:02:43,902
IT IS FORTUNATE
YOU LOVE TO MILL SO.
43
00:02:43,946 --> 00:02:45,077
BUT THE PAY IS POOR.
44
00:02:45,121 --> 00:02:47,428
I'M SO SORRY THAT
I CANNOT GIVE YOU MORE.
45
00:02:47,471 --> 00:02:51,475
OH, WELL. WE MUST
BE HAPPY WITH
THE THINGS WE HAVE--
46
00:02:51,519 --> 00:02:54,522
I MEAN,
THE THING WE HAVE.
47
00:02:54,565 --> 00:02:55,566
DO NOT FEAR.
48
00:02:55,610 --> 00:02:57,481
TOMORROW KING BUNDY
WILL BE SPEAKING
49
00:02:57,525 --> 00:03:00,702
AT THE SMITHIES, WINEMAKERS,
AND MILLERS CONVENTION.
50
00:03:00,745 --> 00:03:02,225
HOW WILL THE KING
HELP US?
51
00:03:02,269 --> 00:03:04,880
WHEN HE LAYS HIS ROYAL
BABY BLUES ON YOU,
52
00:03:04,923 --> 00:03:07,578
HE'LL FALL
CROWN OVER HEELS IN LOVE.
53
00:03:07,622 --> 00:03:08,753
YOU'LL MARRY HIM,
54
00:03:08,797 --> 00:03:12,888
AND HIS FORTUNE
AND OUR LUCK WILL CHANGE.
55
00:03:13,323 --> 00:03:16,544
WE WENT TO THE CONVENTION,
AND MY LUCK DID CHANGE,
56
00:03:16,587 --> 00:03:18,981
ONLY NOT FOR THE BETTER.
57
00:03:21,462 --> 00:03:25,248
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
58
00:03:25,292 --> 00:03:29,252
MILLING AND YOU.
READ ABOUT IT.
59
00:03:29,557 --> 00:03:34,605
MILL, MILL, MILL,
A MILLER'S DAY.
60
00:03:37,042 --> 00:03:38,348
HIS EXCELLENCY,
61
00:03:38,392 --> 00:03:42,004
IN THE BLUE TRUNKS
WITH MAGENTA STRIPE,
62
00:03:42,047 --> 00:03:45,660
KING...BUNDY!
63
00:03:49,446 --> 00:03:51,927
YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.
64
00:04:01,676 --> 00:04:03,982
[SNIFF SNIFF] GRAPE.
65
00:04:05,332 --> 00:04:07,551
GRAPE IS
MY FAVORITE FRAGRANCE.
66
00:04:07,595 --> 00:04:10,075
ALL MY WOMEN WEAR GRAPE.
67
00:04:10,119 --> 00:04:12,556
THIS IS NO TIME
TO BE SHY, DEAR.
68
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:14,297
KING BUNDY'S
GETTING TO KNOW YOU.
69
00:04:14,341 --> 00:04:17,518
♪ GETTING TO KNOW
ALL ABOUT YOU ♪
70
00:04:17,561 --> 00:04:19,084
THIS WOMAN IS A COMMONER.
71
00:04:19,128 --> 00:04:22,914
ONLY AN UNCOMMON WOMAN
IS WORTHY OF A KING.
72
00:04:22,958 --> 00:04:24,307
THAT IS TRUE.
73
00:04:24,351 --> 00:04:27,963
IF ONLY YOU HAD
SOME SPECIAL ABILITY.
74
00:04:28,006 --> 00:04:29,921
WHAT KIND OF ABILITY,
YOUR HIGHNESS?
75
00:04:29,965 --> 00:04:34,796
OH, SINGING, DANCING,
HEAT VISION.
76
00:04:34,839 --> 00:04:36,537
I MUST GO NOW.
77
00:04:38,495 --> 00:04:39,844
MY DAUGHTER
HAS A SKILL
78
00:04:39,888 --> 00:04:42,325
MUCH MORE RARE
AND SPECIAL
THAN THOSE.
79
00:04:42,369 --> 00:04:44,414
IT'LL KNOCK
YOUR SOCKS OFF.
80
00:04:44,458 --> 00:04:48,505
MY DAUGHTER CAN--
SHE CAN, UH...
81
00:04:48,549 --> 00:04:52,422
OH, TURN STRAW
INTO GOLD.
82
00:04:52,466 --> 00:04:54,946
OHH!
OHH!
83
00:04:54,990 --> 00:04:56,339
WELL, THEN...
84
00:04:56,383 --> 00:04:57,471
DAD!
85
00:04:57,514 --> 00:04:59,951
TAKE THIS YOUNG LADY
TO THE PALACE.
86
00:04:59,995 --> 00:05:04,956
GIVE HER A SPINNING WHEEL
AND PLENTY OF STRAW.
87
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:07,742
IF YOU CAN SPIN STRAW
INTO GOLD
88
00:05:07,785 --> 00:05:09,787
AS YOUR FATHER CLAIMS,
89
00:05:09,831 --> 00:05:11,572
I WILL MARRY YOU.
90
00:05:11,615 --> 00:05:12,616
BUT WHAT IF--
91
00:05:12,660 --> 00:05:13,835
AND THIS IS JUST
A WHAT IF, MIND YOU.
92
00:05:13,878 --> 00:05:17,404
WHAT IF I CAN'T SPIN
STRAW INTO GOLD?
93
00:05:17,447 --> 00:05:18,840
IF YOU CANNOT,
94
00:05:18,883 --> 00:05:22,409
YOU WILL STAY IN THE DUNGEON
FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
95
00:05:22,452 --> 00:05:23,540
I'M SORRY, SWEETHEART.
96
00:05:23,584 --> 00:05:25,542
I'M SO, SO SORRY.
97
00:05:25,586 --> 00:05:27,588
I GOTCHA, AW, GEE, UH,
98
00:05:27,631 --> 00:05:32,332
I'M SO SORRY, SORRY,
SORRY. I CAN'T--
99
00:05:33,811 --> 00:05:36,074
DID THEY TAKE YOU
TO THE PALACE?
100
00:05:36,118 --> 00:05:37,119
AND THERE
I WAS VISITED
101
00:05:37,162 --> 00:05:40,731
BY A BIZARRE, STRANGE
IMP OF A MAN.
102
00:05:40,775 --> 00:05:43,081
PEE WEE HERMAN?
103
00:05:43,125 --> 00:05:45,170
NOT THAT STRANGE.
104
00:05:45,214 --> 00:05:46,998
TURN TO GOLD.
TURN TO GOLD.
105
00:05:47,042 --> 00:05:50,132
TURN TO GOLD,
YOU STUPID STRAW!
106
00:05:50,175 --> 00:05:53,788
OH, I'LL NEVER
GET OUT OF HERE.
107
00:05:53,831 --> 00:05:56,965
MAYBE YES,
MAYBE NO.
108
00:05:57,008 --> 00:05:59,054
HOW DID YOU
GET IN HERE?
109
00:06:01,709 --> 00:06:02,840
EASY.
110
00:06:02,884 --> 00:06:07,367
A LITTLE THING
CALLED MAGIC.
111
00:06:07,628 --> 00:06:09,412
YOU WANT TO GET OUT
OF HERE?
112
00:06:09,456 --> 00:06:11,066
YES, BUT I'M
NOT GOING ANYWHERE
113
00:06:11,109 --> 00:06:13,416
IF I DON'T CHANGE
THIS STRAW INTO GOLD.
114
00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:17,028
WELL, NOW, RELAX.
I CAN DO THIS EASY.
115
00:06:17,072 --> 00:06:21,206
BUT IT'S GONNA COST YOU.
WHAT HAVE YOU GOT?
116
00:06:21,250 --> 00:06:22,860
I'VE GOT
THIS SNOUT COZY.
117
00:06:22,904 --> 00:06:24,993
I'LL TAKE IT.
118
00:06:25,036 --> 00:06:26,560
WONDERFUL.
119
00:06:26,603 --> 00:06:29,693
AND YOUR
FIRST-BORN CHILD.
120
00:06:29,737 --> 00:06:30,868
WHAT?
121
00:06:30,912 --> 00:06:32,217
NO! I COULDN'T GIVE UP
MY FIRST-BORN CHILD.
122
00:06:32,261 --> 00:06:34,524
I HAVEN'T EVEN HAD
HIM, HER, IT YET.
123
00:06:34,568 --> 00:06:38,093
FINE, FINE, FINE.
WELL, SEE YA.
124
00:06:38,136 --> 00:06:41,836
[CRYING]
125
00:06:41,879 --> 00:06:42,706
TELL YOU WHAT.
126
00:06:42,750 --> 00:06:45,056
I'M A SPORTING MAN.
127
00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:47,494
I'LL MAKE THIS
A CHALLENGE,
128
00:06:47,537 --> 00:06:49,539
A CONTEST, A GAME.
129
00:06:49,583 --> 00:06:54,152
YOU GOT 24 HOURS
TO FIND OUT MY NAME.
130
00:06:54,196 --> 00:06:55,632
IF YOU CAN GUESS IT,
131
00:06:55,676 --> 00:06:57,155
YOU KEEP
YOUR FIRST-BORN.
132
00:06:57,199 --> 00:06:58,983
BUT IF YOU CAN'T
NAME ME,
133
00:06:59,027 --> 00:07:01,203
THE CHILD
IS MOURN,
134
00:07:01,246 --> 00:07:03,031
UH, MINE, WHATEVER.
135
00:07:03,074 --> 00:07:05,729
UH, SO, ALL I DO IS
FIND OUT YOUR NAME,
136
00:07:05,773 --> 00:07:10,560
AND I GET THE GOLD
AND I CAN KEEP
MY FIRST-BORN CHILD.
137
00:07:10,604 --> 00:07:12,562
YOU'VE GOT A DEAL.
138
00:07:12,606 --> 00:07:16,784
FINE. NOW
WATCH ME WORK.
139
00:07:30,580 --> 00:07:33,888
♪ STRAW INTO GOLD
140
00:07:33,931 --> 00:07:36,499
♪ ALL DONE
BY A LITTLE THING ♪
141
00:07:36,543 --> 00:07:37,979
♪ CALLED
142
00:07:39,284 --> 00:07:41,199
♪ MAGIC
143
00:07:55,562 --> 00:07:58,303
THAT WAS FANTASTIC.
144
00:07:58,347 --> 00:08:00,654
UH, CAN I HAVE YOUR CARD
145
00:08:00,697 --> 00:08:03,308
IN CASE I NEED YOU
FOR A PARTY OR SOMETHING?
146
00:08:03,352 --> 00:08:05,528
NICE TRY.
147
00:08:05,572 --> 00:08:09,967
FINDING OUT MY NAME
ISN'T GONNA BE
THAT EASY,
148
00:08:10,011 --> 00:08:11,839
BUT I'LL GIVE YOU
A CLUE.
149
00:08:11,882 --> 00:08:14,537
IT'S NOT IN THERE.
150
00:08:14,581 --> 00:08:17,584
[ELF CACKLES]
151
00:08:21,065 --> 00:08:24,025
[ELF CACKLES]
152
00:08:24,068 --> 00:08:25,200
I DON'T SEE
A RING ON YOUR FINGER.
153
00:08:25,243 --> 00:08:27,811
SO, I KNOW
YOU DIDN'T MARRY
THE KING.
154
00:08:27,855 --> 00:08:29,247
I'D LIKE TO MARRY HIM,
155
00:08:29,291 --> 00:08:31,293
BUT I CAN'T,
KNOWING THAT, ONE DAY,
AN UGLY LITTLE MAN
156
00:08:31,336 --> 00:08:33,034
WOULD TAKE AWAY
MY FIRST CHILD.
157
00:08:33,077 --> 00:08:34,296
HOW'D YOU GET OUT
OF THE DUNGEON?
158
00:08:34,339 --> 00:08:37,038
I CALLED THE GUARD
TO SHOW HIM THE GOLD.
159
00:08:37,081 --> 00:08:38,648
I ALSO SHOWED HIM
THE TIGERS,
160
00:08:38,692 --> 00:08:39,823
HE SAW THINGS
MY WAY.
161
00:08:39,867 --> 00:08:41,172
YOU'RE ON THE LAM.
162
00:08:41,216 --> 00:08:43,174
IF THEY CATCH ME,
I'LL HAVE TO
MARRY THE KING.
163
00:08:43,218 --> 00:08:46,003
AND IF YOU DON'T FIND OUT
THE LITTLE GUY'S NAME--
164
00:08:46,047 --> 00:08:49,833
THAT TROLL
WILL LAY CLAIM TO MY
FIRST-BORN CHILD.
165
00:08:49,877 --> 00:08:51,269
IN 18 HOURS.
166
00:08:51,313 --> 00:08:53,533
WILL YOU TAKE
THE CASE?
167
00:08:54,185 --> 00:08:57,798
THE RIGHT ANSWER
FOR DAMES LIKE YOU
IS USUALLY NO.
168
00:08:57,841 --> 00:09:00,583
BESIDES,
I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
WHERE TO BEGIN.
169
00:09:00,627 --> 00:09:04,631
WHEN THE LITTLE MAN
DISAPPEARED,
HE LEFT THIS.
170
00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:08,243
A RACING FORM.
171
00:09:08,286 --> 00:09:09,853
WILL YOU HELP ME?
172
00:09:09,897 --> 00:09:13,596
SURE, I'LL HELP YOU,
SWEETHEART.
173
00:09:14,728 --> 00:09:16,338
BUT WHO'S GOING
TO HELP US?
174
00:09:16,381 --> 00:09:18,949
[SIREN]
175
00:09:28,655 --> 00:09:32,180
THERE THEY ARE.
LET'S GO, MEN!
176
00:09:33,311 --> 00:09:35,662
UNH!
UNH!
OOH!
177
00:09:35,705 --> 00:09:37,751
YIKES!
YIKES!
178
00:09:42,756 --> 00:09:43,626
HUH?
179
00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:45,323
OK, WE'RE GOING IN.
180
00:09:45,367 --> 00:09:47,238
OH, NO!
181
00:09:47,282 --> 00:09:50,111
ALL RIGHT, SHOVEL,
YOU'RE COMIN'--
182
00:09:52,330 --> 00:09:54,332
YIKES!
YIKES!
183
00:09:55,333 --> 00:09:56,726
WHERE'D THEY GO?
184
00:09:56,770 --> 00:09:59,686
LIEUTENANT,
OVER THERE.
185
00:10:04,212 --> 00:10:05,605
I SHOULD'VE GUESSED!
186
00:10:05,648 --> 00:10:08,738
EVERY TWO-BIT GUMSHOE
AND PASTRY CHEF
IN THE VILLAGE
187
00:10:08,782 --> 00:10:10,174
KNOWS THIS OLD TRICK.
188
00:10:10,218 --> 00:10:13,134
WE LOST THEM,
HUH, SIR?
189
00:10:15,484 --> 00:10:17,007
MAYBE NOT.
190
00:10:17,051 --> 00:10:19,096
I GOT A HUNCH.
191
00:10:19,140 --> 00:10:20,228
[CRUNCH]
192
00:10:20,271 --> 00:10:23,405
[TRUMPETS PLAY
CALL TO THE POST]
193
00:10:28,323 --> 00:10:32,327
AND THEY'RE OFF.
194
00:10:36,505 --> 00:10:39,334
[MEOWING]
195
00:10:41,466 --> 00:10:43,120
CAN YOU SEE
THE LITTLE MAN ANYWHERE?
196
00:10:43,164 --> 00:10:47,298
NO, BUT WHEN I DO,
I'M REALLY GONNA
LET HIM HAVE IT.
197
00:10:47,342 --> 00:10:49,126
SAM, YOU'RE
SO DEDICATED.
198
00:10:49,170 --> 00:10:50,301
DEDICATED NOTHING.
199
00:10:50,345 --> 00:10:52,260
I PUT 2 BUCKS DOWN
ON THAT TABBY
200
00:10:52,303 --> 00:10:53,478
HE CIRCLED
IN THE RACING FORM.
201
00:10:53,522 --> 00:10:56,699
[GIGGLES]
MAYBE WE SHOULD
GET OUT OF HERE.
202
00:10:56,743 --> 00:10:58,745
THE LITTLE GUY'S
BOUND TO SHOW UP.
203
00:10:58,788 --> 00:11:00,485
I KNOW EXACTLY
WHAT I'M DOING.
204
00:11:00,529 --> 00:11:02,313
[POLICE WHISTLE][GASPS]
205
00:11:02,357 --> 00:11:04,446
HEY.
206
00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:06,491
GETTING THE HECK
OUT OF HERE.
207
00:11:06,535 --> 00:11:09,712
THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT I'M DOING.
208
00:11:09,756 --> 00:11:11,801
-WHOA!
-AAH!
209
00:11:11,845 --> 00:11:12,802
WHOA!
210
00:11:12,846 --> 00:11:13,803
HEY!
211
00:11:13,847 --> 00:11:15,326
AHH!
212
00:11:15,762 --> 00:11:18,199
[GRUNTING]
213
00:11:19,853 --> 00:11:21,463
SAM.
214
00:11:22,769 --> 00:11:26,947
WE'LL TAKE THE TUNNEL.
LET'S GO.
215
00:11:27,774 --> 00:11:29,384
OOF!
OHH!
216
00:11:31,865 --> 00:11:33,475
SAM, IT'S SO DARK.
217
00:11:33,518 --> 00:11:35,520
NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT,
SWEETHEART.
218
00:11:35,564 --> 00:11:39,263
IN A COUPLE OF SECONDS,
WE'LL BE OUTSIDE
AND HOME FREE.
219
00:11:39,307 --> 00:11:41,831
YOU CARE TO BET
ON THAT, SHOVEL?
220
00:11:41,875 --> 00:11:44,355
A SPOTLIGHT!
A SPOTLIGHT!
221
00:11:44,399 --> 00:11:48,838
HOW ABOUT A LITTLE
PERFORMANCE, SHOVEL?
222
00:11:49,491 --> 00:11:50,405
OHH!
223
00:11:50,448 --> 00:11:51,536
SAM!
224
00:11:51,580 --> 00:11:53,843
HO HO, HA HA HA HA!
225
00:11:53,887 --> 00:11:57,891
SAM SHOVEL, TOUGH GUY,
PRIVATE EYE,
226
00:11:57,934 --> 00:11:59,327
HE USED TO BE
A JAZZ SINGER,
227
00:11:59,370 --> 00:12:00,763
PRETTY GOOD, TOO,
228
00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:05,289
UNTIL THAT ONE NIGHT
A FEW YEARS BACK
AT RICK'S PLACE.
229
00:12:05,333 --> 00:12:06,508
REMEMBER, SHOVEL?
230
00:12:06,551 --> 00:12:08,336
THEY WERE
A TOUGH CROWD.
231
00:12:08,379 --> 00:12:09,337
SHRINERS.
232
00:12:09,380 --> 00:12:10,860
IT WAS HORRIBLE.
233
00:12:10,904 --> 00:12:13,384
SINCE THAT NIGHT,
I CAN'T STAND TO BE
IN THE SPOTLIGHT.
234
00:12:13,428 --> 00:12:18,781
OH, NO, SAM.
NOT STAGE FRIGHT!
235
00:12:19,086 --> 00:12:20,130
[GULPS]
236
00:12:20,174 --> 00:12:22,219
YOU HEARTLESS BRUTE.
237
00:12:22,263 --> 00:12:23,481
THANKS, DOLL.
238
00:12:23,525 --> 00:12:25,440
HEY, SINCE YOU
LIKE ME SO MUCH,
239
00:12:25,483 --> 00:12:28,965
I'M SURE YOU WON'T MIND
IF I TAKING YOU BACK
TO THE PALACE.
240
00:12:29,009 --> 00:12:32,926
HOSE OFF, COPPER!
SHE HAPPENS TO BE
MY CLIENT.
241
00:12:32,969 --> 00:12:36,494
SHE IS? WELL, THEN YOU
CAN COME WITH HER.
242
00:12:36,538 --> 00:12:40,411
ACTUALLY, SHE'S
NOT OFFICIALLY
MY CLIENT.
243
00:12:40,455 --> 00:12:43,458
NO MONEY
HAS EXCHANGED HANDS.
244
00:12:44,589 --> 00:12:46,417
DID THE COPS HURT YOU?
245
00:12:46,461 --> 00:12:48,419
THOSE FLATPAWS!
246
00:12:48,463 --> 00:12:50,552
THEY TRIED THE USUAL
BRUTAL TACTICS,
247
00:12:50,595 --> 00:12:52,989
BUT THEY DIDN'T GET
A THING OUT OF ME.
248
00:12:53,033 --> 00:12:54,425
COULD YOU CHECK THIS--
249
00:12:54,469 --> 00:12:56,253
IT TOTALS
YOUR CREDIT CARD NUMBERS
250
00:12:56,297 --> 00:12:58,821
YOUR SECRET HIDING PLACE FOR
MARBLES AND BULLETS,
251
00:12:58,865 --> 00:13:00,823
AND YOUR MOTHER'S
RECIPE FOR NOODLE KUGEL.
252
00:13:00,867 --> 00:13:03,913
THAT'S TWO TEASPOONS
OF CINNAMON.
253
00:13:03,957 --> 00:13:05,436
THANKS.
254
00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:06,829
WELL, THEY HOLLERED
AT ME!
255
00:13:06,873 --> 00:13:09,527
SAM, YOU'VE GOT TO FIND OUT
THAT LITTLE GUY'S NAME.
256
00:13:09,571 --> 00:13:12,966
THE KING SCHEDULED THE WEDDING
FOR 9:00 TONIGHT.
257
00:13:13,009 --> 00:13:16,273
9:00--THE DWARF'S
DEADLINE.
258
00:13:16,317 --> 00:13:19,233
I'LL GET THE GUY
JUST LIKE THAT.
259
00:13:20,538 --> 00:13:23,846
DID SOMEONE NOT
MENTION MY NAME?
260
00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:25,413
YOU GNARLED
LITTLE GNOME,
261
00:13:25,456 --> 00:13:28,938
WHAT'S YOUR
STINKING NAME,
YOU TROLL?!
262
00:13:28,982 --> 00:13:31,462
AHH! TAKE IT EASY!
263
00:13:31,506 --> 00:13:33,856
LAY OFF!
264
00:13:35,510 --> 00:13:36,859
LADY, YOU NEED THERAPY.
265
00:13:36,903 --> 00:13:40,602
SO, DETECTIVE. I SEE
YOU'VE FALLEN
FOR THE BLONDE.
266
00:13:40,645 --> 00:13:43,910
YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE
WHO'S TAKING THE FALL
AROUND HERE, SHORTY.
267
00:13:43,953 --> 00:13:46,129
IF I DIDN'T
KNOW BETTER,
268
00:13:46,173 --> 00:13:50,177
I'D THINK THAT
YOU DIDN'T LIKE ME.
269
00:13:50,568 --> 00:13:52,135
I DON'T LIKE
WHAT YOU STAND FOR.
270
00:13:52,179 --> 00:13:54,137
YOU ARE STANDING,
AREN'T YOU?
271
00:13:54,181 --> 00:13:56,574
YOU SEEM PRETTY
SURE OF YOURSELF.
272
00:13:56,618 --> 00:13:59,969
WHY DON'T WE
UP THE ANTE?
273
00:14:00,013 --> 00:14:01,492
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
274
00:14:01,536 --> 00:14:02,667
YOU GUESS MY NAME,
275
00:14:02,711 --> 00:14:05,105
I'LL NEVER BOTHER
THE BLONDE AGAIN.
276
00:14:05,148 --> 00:14:07,542
I KNOW YOUR
WEAKNESS, SHOV.
277
00:14:07,585 --> 00:14:09,936
IF YOU DON'T
GUESS MY NAME,
278
00:14:09,979 --> 00:14:13,243
YOU DO THE LATE SHOW
AT RICK'S PLACE.
279
00:14:13,287 --> 00:14:14,636
HA HA HA!
280
00:14:14,679 --> 00:14:16,986
THE SPOTLIGHT...
281
00:14:17,030 --> 00:14:19,902
WILL BE ALL YOURS.
282
00:14:19,946 --> 00:14:21,251
YOU GOT A DEAL.
283
00:14:21,295 --> 00:14:22,296
NO, SAM!
284
00:14:22,339 --> 00:14:24,951
YOU GOT MORE GUTS
THAN I THOUGHT.
285
00:14:24,994 --> 00:14:27,475
YOUR DAYS
ARE NUMBERED, CREEP.
286
00:14:27,518 --> 00:14:29,216
YOUR NAME'S MY GAME.
287
00:14:29,259 --> 00:14:30,565
DIG THIS, SHOVEL.
288
00:14:30,608 --> 00:14:35,178
IN 12 HOURS,
I'LL BE PICKING OUT
BABY FURNITURE,
289
00:14:35,222 --> 00:14:39,661
AND YOU'LL BE DYING
OF STAGE FRIGHT.
290
00:14:39,704 --> 00:14:43,360
[CACKLES]
291
00:14:43,404 --> 00:14:44,884
[GASPS]
292
00:14:47,756 --> 00:14:50,237
I HATE THAT LITTLE GUY.
293
00:14:50,977 --> 00:14:53,240
I TALKED TO EVERY STOOLIE
FROM HERE TO HONOLULU
294
00:14:53,283 --> 00:14:56,678
ABOUT THE MYSTERY OF THAT
LITTLE TROLL'S NAME.
295
00:15:00,769 --> 00:15:03,554
THE INVESTIGATION
LED ME TO A STRANGE PLACE
296
00:15:03,598 --> 00:15:06,166
FULL OF PEOPLE WHO FOUND
AN ALTERNATIVE
297
00:15:06,209 --> 00:15:08,385
TO DEALING WITH LIFE.
298
00:15:08,429 --> 00:15:10,126
YOU EVER SEEN
THIS GUY?
299
00:15:10,170 --> 00:15:12,694
INDEED, CAPTAIN.
300
00:15:12,737 --> 00:15:14,565
YOU KNOW HIS NAME?
301
00:15:14,609 --> 00:15:17,612
UH, NEGATIVE, SIR.
302
00:15:17,655 --> 00:15:22,182
BUT I WAS AT A PARTY
AT HIS PLACE ONCE.
303
00:15:22,225 --> 00:15:23,270
FASCINATING THING.
304
00:15:23,313 --> 00:15:26,969
NOBODY THERE SEEMED
TO KNOW HIS NAME,
305
00:15:27,013 --> 00:15:29,972
BUT HERE'S
HIS ADDRESS.
306
00:15:33,802 --> 00:15:36,500
[PIANO PLAYING]
307
00:15:36,544 --> 00:15:40,069
♪ OH, THE KING'S FIRST-BORN
WILL SOON BE MINE ♪
308
00:15:40,113 --> 00:15:42,506
♪ JUST AS SURE
AS THE SUN DOES SHINE ♪
309
00:15:42,550 --> 00:15:45,379
♪ I'LL SOON HAVE ME
SOME ROYAL KIN ♪
310
00:15:45,422 --> 00:15:48,643
♪ OR MY NAME
ISN'T RUMPELSTILTSKIN ♪
311
00:15:48,686 --> 00:15:50,340
HA HA HA HA HA!
312
00:15:50,384 --> 00:15:52,647
RUMPELSTILTSKIN!
313
00:15:52,690 --> 00:15:55,650
RUMPELSTILTSKIN! YEAH!
314
00:15:58,044 --> 00:15:59,610
YOU KNOW,
THAT COULD BE HIM.
315
00:15:59,654 --> 00:16:02,135
TIME TO PLAY
THE NAME GAME.
316
00:16:15,061 --> 00:16:18,499
PACKAGE FOR YOU.
SIGN HERE.
317
00:16:20,283 --> 00:16:22,633
"GNARLED DWARF
ENTERPRISES"?
318
00:16:22,677 --> 00:16:25,506
IT'S MY
COMPANY'S NAME, SEE.
319
00:16:25,549 --> 00:16:28,552
FULLY LEGAL,
I ASSURE YOU.
320
00:16:31,860 --> 00:16:33,818
CRAFTY.
321
00:16:33,862 --> 00:16:34,732
[CRASH]
322
00:16:34,776 --> 00:16:36,473
THE LITTLE GUY WAS SMART,
323
00:16:36,517 --> 00:16:41,000
BUT SOONER OR LATER,
VANITY WOULD BE
HIS UNDOING.
324
00:16:43,654 --> 00:16:46,048
HA HA HA HA!
325
00:16:46,092 --> 00:16:48,485
I THINK I GOT HIM.
326
00:16:57,538 --> 00:17:00,106
[DOORBELL CHIMES]
327
00:17:03,196 --> 00:17:06,329
I'M SORRY I'M LATE.
REALLY SORRY.
328
00:17:06,373 --> 00:17:09,506
ACTUALLY, YOU'RE
TWO MINUTES EARLY.
329
00:17:09,550 --> 00:17:10,507
SORRY.
330
00:17:10,551 --> 00:17:12,509
THIS BETTER BE GOOD, SHOVEL.
331
00:17:12,553 --> 00:17:16,426
DRAGGING ME DOWN HERE RIGHT
BEFORE THE ROYAL WEDDING.
332
00:17:16,470 --> 00:17:17,862
I HOPE YOU LIKE HALVA.
333
00:17:17,906 --> 00:17:18,733
IT'LL DO.
334
00:17:18,776 --> 00:17:20,256
THIS BETTER
BE GOOD, SHOVEL.
335
00:17:20,300 --> 00:17:23,825
JUST A LITTLE
DINNER PARTY
WITH A SURPRISE ENDING.
336
00:17:23,868 --> 00:17:26,132
THIS HAD BETTER
BE GOOD, SHOVEL.
337
00:17:26,175 --> 00:17:28,699
I THINK
IT WILL BE, SIRE.
338
00:17:30,310 --> 00:17:32,834
SAM, IN FIVE MINUTES
THE DEAL WILL
BE FINAL
339
00:17:32,877 --> 00:17:35,141
AND THE DWARF WILL
GET MY KID.
340
00:17:35,184 --> 00:17:36,577
I KNOW.
341
00:17:36,620 --> 00:17:39,406
ALL RIGHT, MR. SHOVEL, WHAT
IS THIS ALL ABOUT, ANYWAY?
342
00:17:39,449 --> 00:17:42,539
I'VE INVITED YOU HERE
BECAUSE I HAVE
THE ANSWER
343
00:17:42,583 --> 00:17:45,107
TO THE MOST PRESSING
QUESTION OF THE DAY.
344
00:17:45,151 --> 00:17:47,849
YOU MEAN, WHY DO
THEY IT CALL
"SHIPMENT"
345
00:17:47,892 --> 00:17:49,111
WHEN IT GOES BY CAR
346
00:17:49,155 --> 00:17:52,897
AND "CARGO" WHEN
IT GOES BY SHIP?
347
00:17:52,941 --> 00:17:54,073
[DOORBELL CHIMES]
348
00:17:54,116 --> 00:17:58,338
NO. I MEAN,
WHAT IS THE NAME
OF THIS MAN?
349
00:17:58,381 --> 00:18:02,907
I SEE THIS IS
AN A-LIST PARTY, SHOVEL.
350
00:18:02,951 --> 00:18:04,387
THANKS FOR THE INVITE.
351
00:18:04,431 --> 00:18:08,261
WELL, HONEY, YOUR TIME
LIMIT'S ABOUT UP.
352
00:18:08,304 --> 00:18:10,654
YOU READY TO
TELL HIS EXCELLENCY
353
00:18:10,698 --> 00:18:12,613
ABOUT OUR
LITTLE DEAL?
354
00:18:12,656 --> 00:18:14,093
DEAL?
355
00:18:14,136 --> 00:18:18,140
THAT'S RIGHT, CROWN TOP.
THIS DAME YOU'RE
ABOUT TO MARRY
356
00:18:18,184 --> 00:18:21,752
PROMISED ME HER
FIRST-BORN CHILD.
357
00:18:21,796 --> 00:18:23,145
WHAT?
358
00:18:23,189 --> 00:18:24,886
THAT'S THE ONLY WAY
SHE COULD GET HIM
359
00:18:24,929 --> 00:18:27,236
TO SPIN THAT STRAW
INTO GOLD.
360
00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:28,672
[ALL GASP]
361
00:18:28,716 --> 00:18:30,935
THAT'S WHY SHE RAN
FROM THE DUNGEON.
362
00:18:30,979 --> 00:18:32,807
SHE WOULD RATHER FACE
YOUR ROYAL WRATH
363
00:18:32,850 --> 00:18:37,507
THAN GIVE HER CHILD
TO THIS MINIATURE
EXTORTIONIST.
364
00:18:37,551 --> 00:18:39,596
All: AWW!
365
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:41,424
I GAVE HER AN OUT.
366
00:18:41,468 --> 00:18:45,907
ALL SHE HAD TO DO WAS GUESS
MY NAME IN 24 HOURS.
367
00:18:45,950 --> 00:18:50,868
GRANTED NO ONE'S BEEN ABLE
TO DO THAT IN 2,500 YEARS.
368
00:18:50,912 --> 00:18:53,784
THERE'S STILL
TIME LEFT.
369
00:18:53,828 --> 00:18:54,698
THAT'S RIGHT.
370
00:18:54,742 --> 00:18:56,483
YOU STILL GOT
10 SECONDS.
371
00:18:56,526 --> 00:18:59,921
ANYBODY CARE TO MAKE
A LAST MINUTE
GUESS?
372
00:18:59,964 --> 00:19:01,792
CALVIN?
373
00:19:04,534 --> 00:19:06,710
UH, STING.
374
00:19:08,669 --> 00:19:10,845
OSCAR LEVANT?
375
00:19:12,412 --> 00:19:14,196
BOND. JAMES BOND?
376
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,546
[YAWNS]
377
00:19:16,590 --> 00:19:18,374
LIEUTENANT LOUIS?
378
00:19:18,418 --> 00:19:21,203
[SNORING]
379
00:19:21,247 --> 00:19:23,205
YOUNG ABE LINCOLN?
380
00:19:23,249 --> 00:19:23,988
SORRY.
381
00:19:24,032 --> 00:19:26,556
WELL, I GUESS
YOU LOSE.
382
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:28,297
NOT SO FAST...
383
00:19:28,341 --> 00:19:30,560
RUMPELSTILSKIN.
384
00:19:31,257 --> 00:19:33,955
[RINGING]
385
00:19:33,998 --> 00:19:34,956
DARN!
386
00:19:34,999 --> 00:19:37,654
SAM, YOU DID IT!
YOU'RE WONDERFUL.
387
00:19:37,698 --> 00:19:38,873
HOW DID YOU DO IT?
388
00:19:38,916 --> 00:19:42,311
YOUR VANITY WAS
YOUR UNDOING.
389
00:19:44,052 --> 00:19:46,533
WELL, RUMPELSTILSKIN,
390
00:19:46,576 --> 00:19:48,317
YOU'RE COMING
DOWNTOWN WITH ME.
391
00:19:48,361 --> 00:19:51,842
WE'VE BEEN AFTER THIS
CHARACTER FOR SOME TIME.
392
00:19:51,886 --> 00:19:54,236
HE TRAVELS
FROM KINGDOM TO KINGDOM
393
00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:55,498
TURNING STRAW INTO GOLD
394
00:19:55,542 --> 00:19:58,458
AND DESTABILIZING
CURRENCY MARKETS.
395
00:19:58,501 --> 00:20:02,331
I DON'T CARE IF YOU CAN'T
CHANGE STRAW INTO GOLD.
396
00:20:02,375 --> 00:20:05,508
YOU'VE SHOWN
THE RARE QUALITY
OF COMPASSION.
397
00:20:05,552 --> 00:20:10,470
I STILL WANT YOU
AS MY QUEEN.
398
00:20:11,601 --> 00:20:13,342
ONE MINUTE,
YOUR MAJESTY.
399
00:20:13,386 --> 00:20:16,345
BABY, I'M NOT GOOD
ENOUGH FOR YOU.
400
00:20:16,389 --> 00:20:18,652
IF YOU DON'T GO
WITH THE KING,
401
00:20:18,695 --> 00:20:19,609
YOU'LL REGRET IT,
402
00:20:19,653 --> 00:20:22,003
MAYBE NOT NOW, BUT SOON.
403
00:20:22,046 --> 00:20:23,831
AND FOR THE REST
OF YOUR LIFE.
404
00:20:23,874 --> 00:20:24,832
BUT, SAM--
405
00:20:24,875 --> 00:20:27,487
'TIS A FAR, FAR
BETTER THING I DO
406
00:20:27,530 --> 00:20:29,402
THAN I'VE EVER
DONE BEFORE.
407
00:20:29,445 --> 00:20:30,620
I'LL NEVER
FORGET YOU, SAM.
408
00:20:30,664 --> 00:20:34,537
OH, AUNTIE EM, THERE'S
NO PLACE LIKE HOME.
409
00:20:34,581 --> 00:20:36,539
SAM, YOU'RE INCREDIBLE.
410
00:20:36,583 --> 00:20:38,280
YOU'RE INCOMPARABLE.
411
00:20:38,324 --> 00:20:39,281
YOU'RE IN...
412
00:20:39,325 --> 00:20:40,804
IN A SPOTLIGHT!
413
00:20:40,848 --> 00:20:44,286
YOU'VE CONQUERED
YOUR STAGE FRIGHT.
414
00:20:44,330 --> 00:20:45,722
WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
415
00:20:45,766 --> 00:20:48,943
I GUESS BEING NOBLE
WILL DO THAT FOR A GUY.
416
00:20:59,606 --> 00:21:00,911
WHAT A GUY.
417
00:21:00,955 --> 00:21:02,696
I'M HONORED
TO HAVE KNOWN HIM.
418
00:21:02,739 --> 00:21:04,785
I'M SORRY TO SEE HIM GO.
419
00:21:04,828 --> 00:21:06,308
REALLY SORRY.
420
00:21:06,352 --> 00:21:07,831
A REAL MENSCH.
421
00:21:07,875 --> 00:21:11,444
IF I HAD TO GET BUSTED,
I'M GLAD IT WAS HIM
WHAT DID IT.
422
00:21:11,487 --> 00:21:16,013
I WONDER WHAT FATE HAS
IN STORE FOR SAM SHOVEL?
423
00:21:16,057 --> 00:21:16,797
HMM?
424
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:17,798
Sam: THE ROAST'S PERFECT.
425
00:21:17,841 --> 00:21:18,973
SOUP'S ON!
426
00:21:19,016 --> 00:21:21,758
YAY!
ALL RIGHT!
427
00:21:21,802 --> 00:21:23,369
SAVE ME A RARE PIECE!
428
00:21:23,412 --> 00:21:24,370
YEAH!
429
00:21:24,413 --> 00:21:25,980
-WOW!
-I SHOULD SAY SO.
430
00:21:26,023 --> 00:21:27,590
CATNIP OF...
431
00:21:30,158 --> 00:21:31,115
NO, MARK. NO!
432
00:21:31,159 --> 00:21:33,030
I WILL NOT MAKE
A GUEST APPEARANCE
433
00:21:33,074 --> 00:21:35,598
ON THE GOLDEN GIRLS.
434
00:21:35,642 --> 00:21:38,427
I'M TALKING TO MY AGENT.
435
00:21:38,471 --> 00:21:39,994
I'M NOT GONNA DO IT!
436
00:21:40,037 --> 00:21:41,517
BECAUSE I DON'T LOOK
ANYTHING LIKE
437
00:21:41,561 --> 00:21:44,825
ESTELLE GETTY'S MOTHER,
THAT'S WHY.
438
00:21:46,827 --> 00:21:48,524
THAT'LL TAKE CARE OF HIM.
439
00:21:48,568 --> 00:21:49,525
SORRY ABOUT THAT.
440
00:21:49,569 --> 00:21:52,093
NOW IT'S TIME
FOR ALF'S MAILBAG.
441
00:21:52,136 --> 00:21:55,923
LET'S CANVAS THE CANVAS.
442
00:21:55,966 --> 00:21:58,708
OUR FIRST LETTER IS
FROM A LESLIE PODKIN--
443
00:21:58,752 --> 00:22:01,407
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
OF...
444
00:22:04,061 --> 00:22:05,454
HELLO?
445
00:22:05,498 --> 00:22:06,716
MARK!
446
00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:10,372
IF YOU SO MUCH AS MENTION
THE WORD "GOLDEN..."
447
00:22:10,416 --> 00:22:12,983
OH, YOU CAN MENTION
THE WORD "GIRLS."
448
00:22:13,027 --> 00:22:18,075
ESTELLE GETTY'S MOTHER PALS
AROUND WITH GLORIA ESTEFAN?
449
00:22:18,119 --> 00:22:20,077
MARK, BABY, I LOVE YA!
450
00:22:20,121 --> 00:22:21,078
HOLD ON.
451
00:22:21,122 --> 00:22:23,385
THAT'S ALF'S MAILBAG
FOR THIS WEEK.
452
00:22:23,429 --> 00:22:25,387
SEE YA NEXT TIME.
453
00:22:25,431 --> 00:22:28,042
LET'S TALK LOVE SCENES.
454
00:22:28,085 --> 00:22:29,870
YEAH.
455
00:22:29,913 --> 00:22:31,480
NO KIDDING.
456
00:22:31,698 --> 00:22:34,744
♪ GORDON, SEND US
457
00:22:34,788 --> 00:22:36,398
♪ OH, SEND US
458
00:22:36,442 --> 00:22:39,096
♪ INTO OUTER SPACE
459
00:22:39,140 --> 00:22:40,228
♪ OUTER SPACE
460
00:22:40,271 --> 00:22:45,581
♪ 'CAUSE THERE AIN'T
NOBODY LIKE YOU ♪
461
00:22:45,625 --> 00:22:51,195
♪ IN THE MELMACKIAN RACE
462
00:22:51,239 --> 00:22:53,241
♪ TEACH US, GORDON...
463
00:22:59,465 --> 00:23:02,381
HA! I KILL ME!
31120
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