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1
00:00:01,312 --> 00:00:03,179
(Zoe) I usually take this time
to tell you about my dates.
2
00:00:03,214 --> 00:00:05,347
But tonight, I'm dateless.
3
00:00:05,383 --> 00:00:06,398
You're gonna miss me
4
00:00:06,434 --> 00:00:07,850
You're gonna miss me
5
00:00:07,902 --> 00:00:10,102
So, what are y'all doing
for the long weekend?
6
00:00:10,154 --> 00:00:12,488
Not going out with
woulda-coulda-shoulda.
7
00:00:12,523 --> 00:00:15,858
Steven is in town and he
hasn't texted, tweeted or post
8
00:00:15,910 --> 00:00:18,360
since Gemini swooped in
with the kiddie cockblock.
9
00:00:18,362 --> 00:00:19,528
Oh!
10
00:00:19,580 --> 00:00:22,198
Woulda-coulda-shoulda is
clearly ghosting you, child.
11
00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:23,582
He's "whatting" me?
12
00:00:23,618 --> 00:00:24,750
Ghosting.
13
00:00:24,785 --> 00:00:26,168
Cutting off all communication.
14
00:00:26,204 --> 00:00:27,953
It's the best way to send the message
15
00:00:28,005 --> 00:00:29,371
that you have moved on,
16
00:00:29,373 --> 00:00:32,374
i.e., the opposite of
what Pearl usually does.
17
00:00:32,376 --> 00:00:34,210
The only way to get rid of her
18
00:00:34,212 --> 00:00:35,544
is a restraining order.
19
00:00:35,632 --> 00:00:37,332
Here's a little Pearl of wisdom for you.
20
00:00:37,384 --> 00:00:39,251
The guy you stalk today,
21
00:00:39,253 --> 00:00:40,752
could turn into your groom tomorrow.
22
00:00:40,754 --> 00:00:42,003
Girl, please.
23
00:00:42,055 --> 00:00:45,006
After last week, I seriously
need to stay as far away
24
00:00:45,058 --> 00:00:47,008
from Gemini as possible.
25
00:00:47,060 --> 00:00:47,926
Wait, what happened last week?
26
00:00:49,263 --> 00:00:50,762
Um... nothing.
27
00:00:52,266 --> 00:00:54,065
Oh, I know that look.
28
00:00:54,101 --> 00:00:56,017
That's the look of deep regret.
29
00:00:56,069 --> 00:00:58,186
You slept with Gemini!
30
00:00:58,238 --> 00:01:00,272
I did not sleep with Gemini.
31
00:01:00,274 --> 00:01:01,273
We had sex.
32
00:01:01,275 --> 00:01:03,108
Oh my God.
33
00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:04,576
Zoe Moon, really?
34
00:01:04,611 --> 00:01:06,111
You are the first one to call me desperate
35
00:01:06,163 --> 00:01:07,445
when it comes to men
36
00:01:07,497 --> 00:01:09,414
and you can't even get over your ex.
37
00:01:09,449 --> 00:01:11,116
I'm trying to, Pearl.
38
00:01:11,168 --> 00:01:12,584
It's not that easy to get over someone
39
00:01:12,619 --> 00:01:14,336
you've been with for 20 years.
40
00:01:14,371 --> 00:01:15,870
Um, just avoid him.
41
00:01:15,923 --> 00:01:17,005
How?
42
00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:18,290
We have a child together.
43
00:01:18,342 --> 00:01:19,925
And there's a big-ass billboard of him
44
00:01:19,960 --> 00:01:21,126
and his naked chest
45
00:01:21,128 --> 00:01:22,510
in the middle of Times Square like...
46
00:01:24,181 --> 00:01:25,880
What you need is a change of scenery.
47
00:01:25,933 --> 00:01:27,132
Let's get away this weekend.
48
00:01:27,184 --> 00:01:29,017
Somewhere where you're not Mrs. Moon
49
00:01:29,052 --> 00:01:32,437
and some place you won't
run into Gemini or his peen.
50
00:01:32,472 --> 00:01:33,438
- Yes, please, please.
- Ooh!
51
00:01:33,473 --> 00:01:34,439
Don't do that again.
52
00:01:34,474 --> 00:01:35,690
I know where we can go
53
00:01:35,726 --> 00:01:37,943
- and not run into anyone's peen.
- Where?
54
00:01:37,978 --> 00:01:39,644
Unless, of course, we want to.
55
00:01:39,696 --> 00:01:40,645
Atlantic City.
56
00:01:40,697 --> 00:01:41,646
Ooh.
57
00:01:41,648 --> 00:01:43,365
What happens there stays there, right?
58
00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:44,899
Wait, I thought that was Vegas.
59
00:01:44,952 --> 00:01:46,117
It applies to any place
60
00:01:46,153 --> 00:01:47,118
you're doing things you shouldn't.
61
00:01:47,154 --> 00:01:48,119
Hey.
62
00:01:48,155 --> 00:01:49,287
Atlantic City...
63
00:01:49,323 --> 00:01:50,872
(all) Here we come!
64
00:01:52,209 --> 00:01:53,158
So excited.
65
00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:54,326
You paying, right?
66
00:01:54,328 --> 00:01:56,461
Zoe
67
00:01:56,496 --> 00:01:58,213
Ever after
68
00:01:58,248 --> 00:01:59,965
Zoe
69
00:02:01,301 --> 00:02:04,169
We can go where
70
00:02:04,171 --> 00:02:06,421
No one finds us
71
00:02:06,473 --> 00:02:08,223
(Zoe) This place is perfect.
72
00:02:08,258 --> 00:02:10,258
It's so cheesy.
73
00:02:10,310 --> 00:02:11,309
It's so... Jersey.
74
00:02:11,345 --> 00:02:12,644
Yeah.
75
00:02:12,679 --> 00:02:14,262
See, I don't have to be Mrs. Moon here.
76
00:02:14,314 --> 00:02:16,431
I can be anybody I want.
77
00:02:16,483 --> 00:02:19,234
Well, can you be somebody
that gets us VIP access
78
00:02:19,269 --> 00:02:21,152
to the Chocolate Thunder Revue?
79
00:02:21,188 --> 00:02:23,104
'Cause Mama wanna make it rain.
80
00:02:23,156 --> 00:02:25,190
See, Mrs. Moon gets VIP,
81
00:02:25,242 --> 00:02:27,192
but Stella St. James is cool kicking it
82
00:02:27,194 --> 00:02:28,493
with the normal folks.
83
00:02:28,528 --> 00:02:30,779
Who the hell is Stella St. James?
84
00:02:30,831 --> 00:02:32,947
And why are we wasting
time talking about her
85
00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:34,449
when we could be gambling?
86
00:02:34,501 --> 00:02:37,035
Stella St. James is my
alter ego for the weekend.
87
00:02:37,087 --> 00:02:39,421
(speaking in Jamaican accent)
She's Jamaican but lives in Harlem
88
00:02:39,456 --> 00:02:40,789
and she teaches middle school English,
89
00:02:40,841 --> 00:02:42,707
hence the perfect diction.
90
00:02:42,709 --> 00:02:43,541
Ha!
91
00:02:43,543 --> 00:02:45,210
I want an alter ego, too.
92
00:02:45,262 --> 00:02:46,544
- Of course.
- We know.
93
00:02:46,596 --> 00:02:48,546
Every guy I meet online lies to me,
94
00:02:48,548 --> 00:02:51,216
so now it's my turn to
lie to somebody else.
95
00:02:51,218 --> 00:02:52,467
Mm-hmm.
96
00:02:52,519 --> 00:02:54,269
Y'all, this is gonna be fun.
97
00:02:54,304 --> 00:02:55,387
Yes, yes, yes...
98
00:02:55,389 --> 00:02:56,888
Tonight, we eat oysters!
99
00:02:56,940 --> 00:02:58,356
- Oh.
- Oh.
100
00:02:58,392 --> 00:03:00,058
- I hate oysters.
- Exactly, that's the point.
101
00:03:00,110 --> 00:03:02,143
Zoe hates oyster's too.
102
00:03:02,195 --> 00:03:04,062
(speaking in Jamaican accent)
But Stella St. James loves them.
103
00:03:04,114 --> 00:03:06,564
(speaking in British accent)
Well, I'm Lolita Bombay
104
00:03:06,566 --> 00:03:08,400
and I'm allergic to oysters,
105
00:03:08,452 --> 00:03:10,402
but I love me some shrimp.
106
00:03:10,404 --> 00:03:12,237
I'm British by way of India,
107
00:03:12,239 --> 00:03:13,655
so that's all I had access to
108
00:03:13,707 --> 00:03:16,207
on the long boat ride across the pond.
109
00:03:16,243 --> 00:03:17,459
That was good. Thank you.
110
00:03:17,494 --> 00:03:19,911
Well, your hair come from India, anyway.
111
00:03:19,963 --> 00:03:21,329
Hey, get out of here.
112
00:03:21,381 --> 00:03:23,381
So who you gonna be, smart-ass?
113
00:03:23,417 --> 00:03:24,966
Oh, honey, I'm gonna be me!
114
00:03:25,001 --> 00:03:27,335
Oh. "V" to the "alent?."
115
00:03:27,387 --> 00:03:29,504
'Cause if it ain't
broke, no need to fix it.
116
00:03:29,556 --> 00:03:30,805
Dip it, dip it, dip it.
117
00:03:30,841 --> 00:03:32,757
Okay, y'all, so now that we are happily in
118
00:03:32,809 --> 00:03:34,559
Gemini-free zone this weekend,
119
00:03:34,594 --> 00:03:37,896
under no circumstance does
anyone utter the G-word.
120
00:03:37,931 --> 00:03:39,397
- Got it?
- Promise.
121
00:03:39,433 --> 00:03:40,765
Compliments of the house.
122
00:03:40,767 --> 00:03:42,434
Gemini Moon's wife's money is no good here.
123
00:03:43,770 --> 00:03:44,986
Thank you.
124
00:03:45,021 --> 00:03:46,438
Ooh, yes.
125
00:03:48,024 --> 00:03:48,940
Okay, starting now.
126
00:03:48,992 --> 00:03:50,358
Cheers! Cheers!
127
00:03:50,410 --> 00:03:52,077
(speaking in Jamaican accent) Man!
128
00:03:52,112 --> 00:03:53,194
Fly away
129
00:03:53,246 --> 00:03:54,329
(Gemini) Good looking out, Amir.
130
00:03:54,364 --> 00:03:55,663
You could put those in the kitchen.
131
00:03:55,699 --> 00:03:57,282
Oh, it is my happy pleasure to see you
132
00:03:57,334 --> 00:03:59,451
back in your home where you belong.
133
00:03:59,453 --> 00:04:01,619
Yeah, I know, but I'm
only here for the weekend.
134
00:04:01,671 --> 00:04:03,922
Dad's tricking out his
place in the Hamptons.
135
00:04:03,957 --> 00:04:06,925
He's putting a waterslide next to the pool.
136
00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:08,960
Among some other things, you know.
137
00:04:09,012 --> 00:04:10,628
A cabana, waterfall.
138
00:04:11,965 --> 00:04:12,931
Grotto.
139
00:04:12,966 --> 00:04:15,633
Ah, very Playboy Mansion circa 1975.
140
00:04:15,635 --> 00:04:16,768
Yeah.
141
00:04:16,803 --> 00:04:18,303
Getting my Hef on, you
know what I'm saying?
142
00:04:18,305 --> 00:04:20,021
I know what you're saying, sir.
143
00:04:20,056 --> 00:04:21,272
And may I say it is not
144
00:04:21,308 --> 00:04:22,941
the same around here without you.
145
00:04:22,976 --> 00:04:25,193
They say divorce is always
hardest on the doorman.
146
00:04:26,563 --> 00:04:28,730
Yeah, yeah, I think I heard that before.
147
00:04:28,782 --> 00:04:30,315
And let's just say Mrs. Moon
148
00:04:30,317 --> 00:04:33,034
is not as generous as you are, sir.
149
00:04:33,069 --> 00:04:34,486
Yeah, yeah, you mentioned that
150
00:04:34,488 --> 00:04:36,321
when you were helping us out of the car.
151
00:04:36,373 --> 00:04:37,372
And in the elevator.
152
00:04:37,407 --> 00:04:38,573
Twice.
153
00:04:43,547 --> 00:04:44,496
There you go.
154
00:04:44,498 --> 00:04:45,964
Thank you, sir.
155
00:04:45,999 --> 00:04:47,832
I must admit, I never
thought the two of you
156
00:04:47,884 --> 00:04:49,134
would ever break up.
157
00:04:49,169 --> 00:04:51,002
I thought you would be
the Amerani and Abagdad
158
00:04:51,054 --> 00:04:52,003
of the building.
159
00:04:52,055 --> 00:04:52,921
Who?
160
00:04:52,973 --> 00:04:55,390
That is my country's Will and Jada.
161
00:04:55,425 --> 00:04:57,258
But at least your son is doing very well
162
00:04:57,310 --> 00:04:58,510
now that he has stopped disappearing.
163
00:04:59,846 --> 00:05:01,763
Hey, my man is on top, just like his pops.
164
00:05:01,815 --> 00:05:03,231
Yo, X, why don't you tell Amir
165
00:05:03,266 --> 00:05:04,232
how you're killing it at school?
166
00:05:04,267 --> 00:05:05,316
Well...
167
00:05:05,352 --> 00:05:06,818
He is killing it at school.
168
00:05:06,853 --> 00:05:09,354
I mean, my boy's running
the whole third grade.
169
00:05:09,406 --> 00:05:12,106
And he even got a date tonight.
170
00:05:12,159 --> 00:05:13,608
Give it up, Mini-Me.
171
00:05:13,660 --> 00:05:15,360
It's not a date.
172
00:05:15,412 --> 00:05:17,162
And I don't need my business broadcast
173
00:05:17,197 --> 00:05:19,030
to the world, Daddy.
174
00:05:19,032 --> 00:05:20,865
(Valent?) Hit me.
175
00:05:20,867 --> 00:05:21,699
Aw, dang!
176
00:05:21,751 --> 00:05:24,169
GD, Dolce & Gabbana, I'm busted.
177
00:05:24,204 --> 00:05:25,537
Ooh, you know what?
178
00:05:25,589 --> 00:05:27,705
I'm gonna play the "Sex
and the City" slots,
179
00:05:27,757 --> 00:05:30,875
because Samantha always puts out.
180
00:05:30,927 --> 00:05:32,627
Bye.
181
00:05:34,714 --> 00:05:35,797
Pearl.
182
00:05:37,551 --> 00:05:38,683
Oh, shoot.
183
00:05:40,053 --> 00:05:41,102
Blackjack!
184
00:05:41,137 --> 00:05:42,103
(laughing)
185
00:05:42,138 --> 00:05:43,438
Oh, sorry.
186
00:05:43,473 --> 00:05:45,106
(speaking in British accent) Blackjack.
187
00:05:45,141 --> 00:05:46,391
(laughing)
188
00:05:46,443 --> 00:05:48,309
This is bloody awesome.
189
00:05:49,813 --> 00:05:50,895
Oh.
190
00:05:50,897 --> 00:05:53,031
This is bloody "awesomer."
191
00:05:56,069 --> 00:05:57,569
Hello, mate.
192
00:05:57,621 --> 00:05:59,871
I'm Lolita Bombay.
193
00:05:59,906 --> 00:06:01,456
(speaking in British accent) Hello.
194
00:06:01,491 --> 00:06:02,874
Fancy meeting another
Brit 'round these parts.
195
00:06:04,244 --> 00:06:05,577
Oh.
196
00:06:05,629 --> 00:06:06,711
Cheerio.
197
00:06:08,415 --> 00:06:10,465
He's really British, like Idris Elba.
198
00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:11,966
I've only been British an hour,
199
00:06:12,002 --> 00:06:14,552
he's gonna see straight
through my bangers and mash.
200
00:06:14,588 --> 00:06:16,754
Pearl, you watched four seasons of
201
00:06:16,806 --> 00:06:19,257
"Downton Abbey" in one night.
202
00:06:19,309 --> 00:06:20,725
(speaking in Jamaican accent)
You can do this.
203
00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:22,060
Now, get back in there, governor.
204
00:06:22,095 --> 00:06:24,395
(speaking in British accent) Oi.
205
00:06:24,431 --> 00:06:25,313
Um...
206
00:06:26,933 --> 00:06:28,816
What's a fine British bloke like yourself
207
00:06:28,852 --> 00:06:30,652
doing in Atlantic City?
208
00:06:30,687 --> 00:06:32,487
Looking for the likes of you, love.
209
00:06:32,522 --> 00:06:33,688
Oh.
210
00:06:33,740 --> 00:06:36,658
Well, God save Kate
211
00:06:36,693 --> 00:06:40,745
and her balding husband,
who's going to be king.
212
00:06:42,082 --> 00:06:43,448
Yeah.
213
00:06:43,500 --> 00:06:45,917
(speaking in Jamaican accent)
Me girl get mad love, right?
214
00:06:47,671 --> 00:06:50,588
(Miguel) That is possibly the
worst French accent I ever heard.
215
00:06:51,791 --> 00:06:53,591
It's a Jamaican accent!
216
00:06:53,627 --> 00:06:54,542
No, it's not.
217
00:06:54,594 --> 00:06:55,710
Deal me in.
218
00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:00,519
I've traveled far
219
00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:01,887
(speaking in Jamaican
accent) What you doing here?
220
00:07:04,141 --> 00:07:06,942
Okay, what's with the "Jamaican" accent?
221
00:07:06,977 --> 00:07:08,477
I asked you first.
222
00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:09,811
Oh, let me guess.
223
00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:11,229
Gemini sent you here to make sure
224
00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:13,865
I don't sleep with one
of the blackjack dealers.
225
00:07:13,901 --> 00:07:15,033
Well, too late.
226
00:07:18,906 --> 00:07:20,822
I'm just playing.
227
00:07:20,874 --> 00:07:23,308
Look, I am not Gemini's spy.
228
00:07:23,343 --> 00:07:26,244
I'm his contractor, and Jersey is my turf.
229
00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:28,146
I'm here with my boys for a bachelor party.
230
00:07:29,416 --> 00:07:30,415
Whatever.
231
00:07:30,467 --> 00:07:32,000
This is a large casino.
232
00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:34,336
You do you and I'll do me.
233
00:07:34,388 --> 00:07:37,923
Pearl, maybe I'll have
better luck at the slots...
234
00:07:37,975 --> 00:07:39,891
or anywhere you're not.
235
00:07:39,927 --> 00:07:41,059
Hmm.
236
00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:44,763
So what are you drinking?
237
00:07:44,765 --> 00:07:46,181
Let me guess.
238
00:07:46,233 --> 00:07:47,399
(speaking in Jamaican accent) Jamaican rum.
239
00:07:47,434 --> 00:07:48,350
I'm buying.
240
00:07:48,402 --> 00:07:49,768
- Really?
- Yeah.
241
00:07:49,820 --> 00:07:51,520
(speaking in Jamaican accent)
Well, in that case,
242
00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:52,938
I'll have your best bottle of champagne.
243
00:07:54,441 --> 00:07:56,858
I forgot you have expensive taste.
244
00:07:56,910 --> 00:07:59,244
And so does my alter ego, Stella St. James.
245
00:07:59,279 --> 00:08:01,029
(speaking in Jamaican accent)
I was born in Jamaica,
246
00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:02,113
but I've seen the world.
247
00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:04,616
Okay.
248
00:08:04,618 --> 00:08:06,918
Am I just supposed to
pretend that this is normal?
249
00:08:06,954 --> 00:08:08,453
Just go with it.
250
00:08:08,505 --> 00:08:10,288
(speaking in Jamaican accent)
I'm a teacher.
251
00:08:10,340 --> 00:08:12,841
And I'm exhausted from
grading papers all week.
252
00:08:12,876 --> 00:08:14,960
- Ohh.
- Ahh!
253
00:08:14,962 --> 00:08:17,012
- Thank you.
- This will calm me nerves
254
00:08:17,047 --> 00:08:18,763
and make you slightly less annoying.
255
00:08:20,517 --> 00:08:21,800
Cheers, man.
256
00:08:21,802 --> 00:08:24,436
Arriba, a bajo, al centro, pa' dentro.
257
00:08:24,471 --> 00:08:25,971
What you said.
258
00:08:26,023 --> 00:08:27,305
Just relax, man.
259
00:08:27,307 --> 00:08:28,189
I can't.
260
00:08:28,225 --> 00:08:29,891
What if it goes badly?
261
00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:31,109
She may hate me.
262
00:08:31,144 --> 00:08:32,944
- I should cancel.
- No, no, no, no, no.
263
00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:34,029
No cancel.
264
00:08:34,064 --> 00:08:35,113
It's just a date.
265
00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:38,316
It's not a date, but if it was,
266
00:08:38,318 --> 00:08:40,452
how do you know if a girl likes you?
267
00:08:40,487 --> 00:08:42,070
Ah, listen, son.
268
00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:44,406
Women... they're simple.
269
00:08:44,458 --> 00:08:47,125
They just want somebody
strong to protect 'em.
270
00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:48,877
So you just gotta man up.
271
00:08:48,912 --> 00:08:49,995
That's all.
272
00:08:52,499 --> 00:08:53,415
Ahh!
273
00:08:57,921 --> 00:09:00,889
(speaking in Jamaican accent) So where
is your bachelor party posse, man?
274
00:09:00,924 --> 00:09:03,008
- In jail.
- What?
275
00:09:03,060 --> 00:09:05,677
Yeah, they went to a
topless bar bottomless.
276
00:09:05,729 --> 00:09:07,012
I'll get them out by Monday.
277
00:09:07,014 --> 00:09:09,180
And you chose not to go because?
278
00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:11,483
Because I don't like wasting my money
279
00:09:11,518 --> 00:09:12,817
on frivolous things like strip clubs.
280
00:09:14,104 --> 00:09:15,687
I'd rather gamble it away.
281
00:09:15,739 --> 00:09:16,821
(speaking in Jamaican accent)
I hear you, man.
282
00:09:18,992 --> 00:09:20,442
How much longer are you gonna do that?
283
00:09:20,494 --> 00:09:21,526
'Cause, you know,
284
00:09:21,528 --> 00:09:24,329
you haven't been Jamaican in a half-hour.
285
00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:25,947
Now you're just somewhere between
286
00:09:25,999 --> 00:09:27,332
Yoda and the Hobbit.
287
00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:29,034
If you could have an alter ego,
288
00:09:29,086 --> 00:09:30,168
who would it be?
289
00:09:31,455 --> 00:09:32,787
Pau Gasol.
290
00:09:32,839 --> 00:09:35,006
Oh my God, you have to pick
somebody that's not real.
291
00:09:35,042 --> 00:09:36,708
Hey, that's my alter ego.
292
00:09:36,710 --> 00:09:38,627
I didn't put rules on your crazy.
293
00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:40,345
It's still random.
294
00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:43,214
(speaking in Spanish accent)
Or is it gangster, se?orita?
295
00:09:43,266 --> 00:09:44,849
Could I please order a round of shots?
296
00:09:46,386 --> 00:09:47,352
Tequila.
297
00:09:47,387 --> 00:09:48,269
(laughing)
298
00:09:50,140 --> 00:09:51,690
How's it going?
299
00:09:51,725 --> 00:09:54,776
Ooh, I think Lolita Bombay
puts out on the first date.
300
00:09:54,811 --> 00:09:56,111
Mm-hmm, she seems like
301
00:09:56,146 --> 00:09:57,729
a take-it-over-the-counter kinda girl.
302
00:09:57,781 --> 00:09:58,647
Yeah.
303
00:10:00,067 --> 00:10:01,366
Hey, can I get 100, please?
304
00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:03,568
What's up?
305
00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:06,621
Jerome?
306
00:10:06,657 --> 00:10:08,456
Jerome Johnson?
307
00:10:08,492 --> 00:10:11,660
Bob Evans from Nacogdoches High.
308
00:10:11,712 --> 00:10:13,128
(whispering)
309
00:10:14,831 --> 00:10:15,830
What up, my dude?!
310
00:10:19,945 --> 00:10:22,444
- Man, it's been a minute.
- I know, right?
311
00:10:22,496 --> 00:10:23,662
So what you doing here, man?
312
00:10:23,697 --> 00:10:25,530
- Just, uh, just chilling.
- Uh-huh.
313
00:10:26,783 --> 00:10:29,201
With my pretty lady. (gasping)
314
00:10:29,203 --> 00:10:32,337
(speaking in British accent) Excuse
me, my name is Lolita Bombay.
315
00:10:32,372 --> 00:10:33,705
Who are you right now?
316
00:10:33,757 --> 00:10:36,374
Girl, you know you had too much to drink.
317
00:10:36,426 --> 00:10:38,293
This is my boo, Lolita Bombay.
318
00:10:38,345 --> 00:10:39,477
She from England.
319
00:10:39,513 --> 00:10:42,013
So English is her second language.
320
00:10:42,049 --> 00:10:43,048
I know.
321
00:10:43,050 --> 00:10:44,466
Lolita, this is Bob.
322
00:10:44,518 --> 00:10:46,718
We played football together back in Texas.
323
00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:48,019
Pssh!
324
00:10:48,055 --> 00:10:50,222
You played football?
325
00:10:50,274 --> 00:10:51,890
Yeah, baby, remember, I told you.
326
00:10:51,892 --> 00:10:54,025
(speaking in British accent)
Uh, no, you did not.
327
00:10:54,061 --> 00:10:55,477
(clearing throat)
328
00:10:55,529 --> 00:10:57,479
Is this bloke bothering you, love?
329
00:10:57,531 --> 00:10:58,730
Bothering her? She's with me.
330
00:11:00,484 --> 00:11:02,067
Is that right?
331
00:11:02,069 --> 00:11:03,702
Oh, God.
332
00:11:03,737 --> 00:11:04,986
(speaking in British accent)
Unfortunately, yes.
333
00:11:06,990 --> 00:11:09,157
But we're definitely going
to be broken up by 9:00,
334
00:11:09,209 --> 00:11:10,458
so call me.
335
00:11:10,494 --> 00:11:11,409
Room 356.
336
00:11:11,461 --> 00:11:14,129
(purring)
337
00:11:17,584 --> 00:11:18,633
Fine, fine, fine.
338
00:11:18,669 --> 00:11:20,802
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
339
00:11:20,837 --> 00:11:22,420
So what brings you here, Bob?
340
00:11:22,472 --> 00:11:24,005
I'm in town for a plumber's convention.
341
00:11:24,057 --> 00:11:25,257
Ah, all right.
342
00:11:25,259 --> 00:11:26,841
You know I'm laying a lot of pipe.
343
00:11:26,894 --> 00:11:28,677
You know what I'm saying,
you know what I'm saying?
344
00:11:29,763 --> 00:11:31,396
But don't... don't tell my wife.
345
00:11:31,431 --> 00:11:32,764
Oh, I won't, I won't, I won't.
346
00:11:32,766 --> 00:11:34,099
- Bitches be tripping, man.
- Right?
347
00:11:34,101 --> 00:11:35,517
They be tripping.
348
00:11:35,569 --> 00:11:37,769
Man, dude, so where you've
been hiding yourself?
349
00:11:37,821 --> 00:11:39,437
(speaking in British accent)
You mean besides the closet?
350
00:11:39,489 --> 00:11:40,772
I moved to the city.
351
00:11:40,774 --> 00:11:42,824
You know, Texas was too small a pond
352
00:11:42,859 --> 00:11:44,526
- for my salamander...
- Okay.
353
00:11:44,578 --> 00:11:46,328
... so I moved here to be with my woman
354
00:11:46,363 --> 00:11:49,164
and work on, uh, manly stuff, you know.
355
00:11:49,199 --> 00:11:50,448
You know how it is, player?
356
00:11:50,500 --> 00:11:52,033
Sure.
357
00:11:52,085 --> 00:11:53,034
Just go with it.
358
00:11:58,091 --> 00:11:59,958
(speaking in British accent) Oh, Jerome!
359
00:12:00,010 --> 00:12:00,792
Like that, yeah.
360
00:12:00,794 --> 00:12:01,876
Yeah, I got that.
361
00:12:03,213 --> 00:12:04,262
Ready?
362
00:12:04,298 --> 00:12:05,463
Watch.
363
00:12:05,515 --> 00:12:06,631
Ooh!
364
00:12:06,633 --> 00:12:08,183
Oh, wow, that was terrible.
365
00:12:08,218 --> 00:12:09,351
Almost! I got...
366
00:12:10,971 --> 00:12:13,188
(laughing)
367
00:12:13,223 --> 00:12:14,472
You know...
368
00:12:14,474 --> 00:12:17,525
Stella is way more fun than Zoe.
369
00:12:17,561 --> 00:12:18,860
Yeah, Zoe's a "beyotch."
370
00:12:20,530 --> 00:12:21,613
I know, right?
371
00:12:24,201 --> 00:12:25,066
Why?
372
00:12:31,124 --> 00:12:32,540
Um...
373
00:12:32,576 --> 00:12:33,908
I don't know.
374
00:12:35,245 --> 00:12:36,828
Maybe...
375
00:12:36,830 --> 00:12:39,164
ending a 20-year relationship
376
00:12:39,216 --> 00:12:40,749
and starting a business
377
00:12:40,801 --> 00:12:44,002
and becoming a single mom
was harder than she thought.
378
00:12:46,173 --> 00:12:47,756
(speaking in Spanish accent) Look.
379
00:12:47,808 --> 00:12:51,059
Obviously, I don't have
those kind of problems.
380
00:12:51,094 --> 00:12:53,011
Being a famous basketball player,
381
00:12:53,063 --> 00:12:56,681
I lead the league in triple doubles.
382
00:12:56,683 --> 00:12:58,683
I can do it all.
383
00:12:58,735 --> 00:13:01,853
But when Miguel first started his business,
384
00:13:01,905 --> 00:13:03,521
the dude was so broke,
385
00:13:03,573 --> 00:13:05,190
he had to move back in with his mother.
386
00:13:05,192 --> 00:13:06,658
Ahh...
387
00:13:07,778 --> 00:13:09,861
Do you know what it's like
388
00:13:09,863 --> 00:13:13,698
to hear a 68-year-old
Latina woman doing Pilates?
389
00:13:15,118 --> 00:13:16,951
Miguel still has night terrors.
390
00:13:18,839 --> 00:13:21,289
(speaking in Jamaican accent)
Well, he's all right now.
391
00:13:21,341 --> 00:13:23,341
And Zoe is, too.
392
00:13:23,377 --> 00:13:24,592
Yeah.
393
00:13:24,628 --> 00:13:26,294
God, I'm sick of talking about them.
394
00:13:26,346 --> 00:13:28,346
(speaking in Spanish accent)
You know what their problem is?
395
00:13:28,382 --> 00:13:30,215
They don't drink enough.
396
00:13:30,217 --> 00:13:31,132
Pa' dentro, salud!
397
00:13:33,220 --> 00:13:35,103
(slot machine ringing)
398
00:13:35,138 --> 00:13:36,554
Jackpot, man!
399
00:13:36,556 --> 00:13:38,023
Viva la santa!
400
00:13:38,058 --> 00:13:38,973
Viva la santa!
401
00:13:40,301 --> 00:13:41,968
Don't you have a Jacuzzi downstairs?
402
00:13:42,003 --> 00:13:42,885
Yes.
403
00:13:44,222 --> 00:13:45,721
I heard you got a divorce.
404
00:13:45,757 --> 00:13:48,090
Yeah, Amir be talking too damn much.
405
00:13:48,092 --> 00:13:51,260
But did he tell you that
my son has a date tonight?
406
00:13:51,312 --> 00:13:53,012
It's not a date!
407
00:13:53,064 --> 00:13:55,314
It's a science project.
408
00:13:55,350 --> 00:13:57,149
That may end with holding hands.
409
00:13:57,185 --> 00:13:59,268
Sounds like a date to me.
410
00:13:59,270 --> 00:14:01,037
Can I ask you something?
411
00:14:01,072 --> 00:14:02,205
Sure.
412
00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:03,673
Do you know anything about girls?
413
00:14:05,243 --> 00:14:06,943
Well, I am one.
414
00:14:06,945 --> 00:14:08,661
If someone likes you,
415
00:14:08,696 --> 00:14:09,879
how would he let you know?
416
00:14:11,783 --> 00:14:13,699
He would probably buy me a car.
417
00:14:13,751 --> 00:14:14,951
Ooh, Dad, can I buy...
418
00:14:15,003 --> 00:14:16,202
No, you may not.
419
00:14:16,254 --> 00:14:17,169
Oh, man.
420
00:14:17,205 --> 00:14:18,955
Oh, baby, it's okay.
421
00:14:18,957 --> 00:14:20,456
Come here.
422
00:14:20,458 --> 00:14:22,959
The guys I like are the
ones that are comfortable
423
00:14:22,961 --> 00:14:23,876
with being themselves.
424
00:14:25,630 --> 00:14:27,964
How comfortable can I be?
425
00:14:28,016 --> 00:14:28,965
I'm eight.
426
00:14:29,017 --> 00:14:30,933
(intercom ringing)
427
00:14:33,221 --> 00:14:34,971
Hello, Amir here.
428
00:14:34,973 --> 00:14:36,389
Hey, Amir.
429
00:14:36,441 --> 00:14:38,357
There is a Dani Rose here to see you.
430
00:14:38,393 --> 00:14:39,692
Hi, Xavier.
431
00:14:43,815 --> 00:14:44,730
Send her up.
432
00:14:46,067 --> 00:14:47,283
I can't breathe!
433
00:14:47,318 --> 00:14:48,317
Be cool, be cool.
434
00:14:48,319 --> 00:14:49,702
You'll be all right.
435
00:14:49,737 --> 00:14:50,703
Well...
436
00:14:52,373 --> 00:14:53,489
... I'm gonna get on out of here.
437
00:14:55,493 --> 00:14:57,043
- You want me to leave the towel?
- Yeah.
438
00:14:57,078 --> 00:14:58,544
I mean, no.
439
00:14:58,580 --> 00:15:00,463
Wait, what were you wearing
when you came in here?
440
00:15:03,718 --> 00:15:06,335
Damn, I can't believe I
moved out of this building?
441
00:15:06,387 --> 00:15:08,054
You got kicked out, remember?
442
00:15:10,308 --> 00:15:13,092
(speaking in British accent) On our
first date, he took me to choir practice.
443
00:15:13,144 --> 00:15:15,845
He has the voice of an angel.
444
00:15:15,897 --> 00:15:18,347
Sing something, boo.
445
00:15:18,349 --> 00:15:20,099
Maybe another time, baby.
446
00:15:20,151 --> 00:15:21,350
Oh.
447
00:15:21,402 --> 00:15:22,602
He's shy.
448
00:15:22,654 --> 00:15:24,854
No, he wasn't shy back in the day.
449
00:15:24,906 --> 00:15:27,573
Nah, see, there wasn't a
filly back in Nacogdoches
450
00:15:27,609 --> 00:15:29,525
that he didn't turn out.
451
00:15:29,527 --> 00:15:31,410
We used to call your boy
452
00:15:31,446 --> 00:15:33,863
"Take 'Em Home Jerome."
"Take 'Em Home Jerome."
453
00:15:33,865 --> 00:15:35,364
(laughing)
454
00:15:35,366 --> 00:15:37,033
He has new nicknames here.
455
00:15:37,085 --> 00:15:38,367
Oh, yeah?
456
00:15:38,369 --> 00:15:40,252
Well, hey, me and some of the plumbers,
457
00:15:40,288 --> 00:15:41,587
we got a table in the back.
458
00:15:41,623 --> 00:15:43,255
Come on over, man, so we can catch up.
459
00:15:43,291 --> 00:15:44,707
Oh, man, thanks, man,
460
00:15:44,759 --> 00:15:48,377
but I don't want to leave
the old ball and chain.
461
00:15:48,379 --> 00:15:50,379
Are you kidding?
462
00:15:50,381 --> 00:15:51,764
I wouldn't miss it for the world!
463
00:15:53,101 --> 00:15:54,050
See you later.
464
00:15:54,102 --> 00:15:55,051
All right, man.
465
00:15:55,103 --> 00:15:56,135
You take care.
466
00:15:56,187 --> 00:15:58,054
- Cheerio!
- All right.
467
00:15:58,106 --> 00:15:59,188
What are you doing?
468
00:15:59,223 --> 00:16:00,389
Call me old one more time.
469
00:16:00,391 --> 00:16:02,558
All I'm asking is that you help me out.
470
00:16:02,610 --> 00:16:04,694
- You have no idea what you've done.
- You messed it up for me and that dude back there.
471
00:16:04,729 --> 00:16:07,446
So it turns out Valent?
does have a fake name.
472
00:16:07,482 --> 00:16:08,564
It's Valent?!
473
00:16:08,616 --> 00:16:09,699
Give me that!
474
00:16:11,819 --> 00:16:13,452
You know, I really like
475
00:16:13,488 --> 00:16:15,204
working on this potato with you.
476
00:16:15,239 --> 00:16:16,322
Yeah?
477
00:16:16,374 --> 00:16:17,373
Well, we're gonna get a bad grade
478
00:16:17,408 --> 00:16:19,458
if we can't make it work.
479
00:16:19,494 --> 00:16:21,544
Maybe I should have done
this with Rob Gumtree.
480
00:16:27,218 --> 00:16:28,167
So how are they doing?
481
00:16:29,470 --> 00:16:30,920
Where the hell did you come from?
482
00:16:30,922 --> 00:16:32,004
Heaven.
483
00:16:33,391 --> 00:16:34,674
So I see he's into blondes.
484
00:16:36,144 --> 00:16:37,426
Typical.
485
00:16:37,478 --> 00:16:39,395
Ah, yeah, well, you know, private school.
486
00:16:39,430 --> 00:16:40,513
What you gonna do?
487
00:16:41,849 --> 00:16:43,432
Looks like they're doing a
good job with the battery,
488
00:16:43,434 --> 00:16:45,568
but X is striking out with the girl.
489
00:16:46,938 --> 00:16:48,154
Please.
490
00:16:48,189 --> 00:16:49,271
I can help with that.
491
00:16:51,609 --> 00:16:53,526
So what's this?
492
00:16:53,578 --> 00:16:55,111
Our science project.
493
00:16:55,113 --> 00:16:56,779
I'm talking about her.
494
00:16:56,831 --> 00:16:57,830
Huh?
495
00:16:57,865 --> 00:16:59,749
What could you two possibly have in common?
496
00:16:59,784 --> 00:17:01,450
I mean, we're both eight.
497
00:17:01,502 --> 00:17:03,619
We have the same lunch period.
498
00:17:03,621 --> 00:17:05,755
And we're sharing a potato.
499
00:17:05,790 --> 00:17:06,956
All right, that's a lot.
500
00:17:08,426 --> 00:17:09,291
I'll take that.
501
00:17:11,713 --> 00:17:12,878
But you be good to him.
502
00:17:19,053 --> 00:17:19,935
Wow.
503
00:17:21,472 --> 00:17:23,939
Isn't she a supermodel?
504
00:17:23,975 --> 00:17:24,940
Yeah.
505
00:17:24,976 --> 00:17:26,692
Way too high maintenance.
506
00:17:28,229 --> 00:17:29,612
Yes!
507
00:17:31,949 --> 00:17:33,282
Hey.
508
00:17:33,317 --> 00:17:36,452
Do you want to maybe be my
partner for that book report?
509
00:17:36,487 --> 00:17:37,369
Of course.
510
00:17:39,574 --> 00:17:40,956
My man.
511
00:17:40,992 --> 00:17:42,625
Smooth, just like his daddy.
512
00:17:46,581 --> 00:17:48,130
Stop messing with me!
513
00:17:48,166 --> 00:17:49,498
Get away from me.
514
00:17:49,550 --> 00:17:51,500
That kiss you gave me was not gay,
515
00:17:51,552 --> 00:17:53,002
it was hetero and it was hot.
516
00:17:53,004 --> 00:17:54,670
Oh, honey, I don't know what to tell you.
517
00:17:54,722 --> 00:17:56,138
I'm gayer than Neil Patrick Harris at...
518
00:17:57,475 --> 00:17:59,925
Well, anything Neil
Patrick Harris would attend.
519
00:17:59,977 --> 00:18:02,762
You know, that's why I had
to get out of Nacogdoches.
520
00:18:02,814 --> 00:18:05,264
Growing up there was not it.
521
00:18:05,316 --> 00:18:08,851
Being Jerome the football
stud was not for me.
522
00:18:08,853 --> 00:18:11,570
Though I was surprisingly good at it.
523
00:18:11,606 --> 00:18:13,272
I still can't believe you played football.
524
00:18:13,324 --> 00:18:15,074
Oh, I was heavier then.
525
00:18:15,109 --> 00:18:18,110
I moved to New York and I gave up carbs
526
00:18:18,162 --> 00:18:19,695
and vag.
527
00:18:19,747 --> 00:18:22,665
You know, the football thing
was not who I was or am.
528
00:18:24,702 --> 00:18:26,168
I'm sorry, boo.
529
00:18:26,204 --> 00:18:28,204
Oh, God, don't be.
530
00:18:28,256 --> 00:18:29,620
To be living in New York
531
00:18:30,104 --> 00:18:33,439
and working for the fabulous Zoe Moon...
532
00:18:33,474 --> 00:18:36,209
to be living out loud and proud,
533
00:18:36,243 --> 00:18:37,644
that has always been my dream.
534
00:18:39,713 --> 00:18:42,615
Well, that and being inappropriately
touched by Boris Kodjoe.
535
00:18:42,770 --> 00:18:43,803
(laughing)
536
00:18:43,837 --> 00:18:45,204
Yes, yes, yes.
537
00:18:45,239 --> 00:18:46,706
There's my boo.
538
00:18:46,740 --> 00:18:47,640
Come here.
539
00:18:49,309 --> 00:18:51,644
Although I am gonna miss me some Jerome.
540
00:18:51,678 --> 00:18:53,413
Oh, damn, he knew how to kiss.
541
00:18:53,447 --> 00:18:54,714
Oh, honey, move on.
542
00:18:54,748 --> 00:18:56,682
You're not even Jerome's type.
543
00:18:56,717 --> 00:18:58,217
He likes Latino.
544
00:18:58,252 --> 00:18:59,218
- Fine.
- I know.
545
00:18:59,253 --> 00:19:01,421
It's weird.
546
00:19:01,455 --> 00:19:03,623
What is going on with the heat in here?
547
00:19:03,657 --> 00:19:05,391
I had to turn off the A/C again
548
00:19:05,426 --> 00:19:06,893
so my guys could run a new vent line.
549
00:19:07,017 --> 00:19:09,085
Come on, Miguel, not today.
550
00:19:09,119 --> 00:19:10,553
I have the head sales rep
551
00:19:10,587 --> 00:19:12,555
- from Macy's coming in an hour.
- Look, look, look.
552
00:19:12,589 --> 00:19:13,890
I know you're under a lot of pressure,
553
00:19:13,924 --> 00:19:16,359
I promise I will have
the A/C back on by then.
554
00:19:16,393 --> 00:19:18,794
And, uh...
555
00:19:18,829 --> 00:19:20,730
I fixed the creaks in your drawers as well.
556
00:19:22,366 --> 00:19:23,432
Thanks, pal.
557
00:19:24,835 --> 00:19:25,935
Oh, by the way.
558
00:19:27,504 --> 00:19:28,604
Here you go.
559
00:19:28,639 --> 00:19:30,473
This is your share of our winnings.
560
00:19:30,507 --> 00:19:33,609
O-M-G, balling.
561
00:19:33,644 --> 00:19:34,977
Don't get too excited, now.
562
00:19:35,012 --> 00:19:36,879
It's only $22.75.
563
00:19:36,914 --> 00:19:38,814
Well, in my hood, this
is a big chunk of change.
564
00:19:40,150 --> 00:19:42,084
Thank you, Stella.
565
00:19:42,119 --> 00:19:44,587
- You're welcome.
-
So don't let it change
566
00:19:44,621 --> 00:19:47,890
(Zoe) It's funny how a change
of scenery can change everything.
567
00:19:48,225 --> 00:19:49,658
Like I said,
568
00:19:49,693 --> 00:19:51,727
things don't always work
out like you planned.
569
00:19:53,663 --> 00:19:54,930
Ain't it strange?
570
00:19:54,931 --> 00:19:59,381
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
571
00:19:59,431 --> 00:20:03,981
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