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1
00:00:07,206 --> 00:00:10,137
[Amy Stroup's "Magic]
2
00:00:10,206 --> 00:00:11,758
♪ ♪
3
00:00:11,827 --> 00:00:14,448
♪ I'm sticking with you honey ♪
4
00:00:14,517 --> 00:00:17,275
♪ You make the whole world
sunny ♪
5
00:00:17,344 --> 00:00:19,034
- Oh, my God, Maggie.
What is she doing?
6
00:00:19,103 --> 00:00:21,000
- Where did you find this?
7
00:00:21,068 --> 00:00:23,137
- Her roommate's mother sent it
to me, because she's worried.
8
00:00:23,206 --> 00:00:25,689
- Oh, it's mesmerizing.
9
00:00:25,758 --> 00:00:27,448
- What is it?
Is it porn?
10
00:00:27,517 --> 00:00:29,793
- It's called breadfacing,
and yes,
11
00:00:29,862 --> 00:00:32,620
people are definitely jerking
off to it.
12
00:00:32,689 --> 00:00:34,310
- This is a cry for help.
13
00:00:34,379 --> 00:00:36,448
- Actually, it's hard to cry
with bread in your mouth.
14
00:00:36,517 --> 00:00:38,586
- ♪ All over this town ♪
15
00:00:38,655 --> 00:00:41,551
[Brynn Elliott's "Might Not
Like Me"]
16
00:00:41,620 --> 00:00:43,896
♪ ♪
17
00:00:43,965 --> 00:00:45,137
- I'll throw it out.
18
00:00:45,206 --> 00:00:46,448
- ♪ What's your problem? ♪
19
00:00:46,517 --> 00:00:49,172
♪ What's your problem? ♪
20
00:00:49,241 --> 00:00:53,137
♪ Well if you don't like girls
that are stronger than you ♪
21
00:00:53,206 --> 00:00:54,448
- Oh, my God.
22
00:00:54,517 --> 00:00:56,172
Lauren, what the hell?
23
00:00:56,241 --> 00:00:57,724
- Relax.
It's for an event tonight.
24
00:00:57,793 --> 00:00:59,172
- ♪ Well if you don't like ♪
25
00:00:59,241 --> 00:01:01,137
[music stops]
26
00:01:01,206 --> 00:01:02,482
- Here's your dry-cleaning.
27
00:01:02,551 --> 00:01:04,172
I mean, it's not really
dry-cleaned.
28
00:01:04,241 --> 00:01:05,862
I just ironed it really hard
and put it in this bag,
29
00:01:05,931 --> 00:01:08,310
but...whatever.
30
00:01:09,517 --> 00:01:10,620
- Thank you.
31
00:01:12,310 --> 00:01:14,517
- Who is that?
- Oh, that's my new intern.
32
00:01:14,586 --> 00:01:15,586
- You have an intern?
33
00:01:15,655 --> 00:01:17,241
- It's basically slave labor,
34
00:01:17,310 --> 00:01:19,000
TBQH, but, you know, they're
getting a credit for school,
35
00:01:19,068 --> 00:01:20,620
so my conscience is clear.
36
00:01:21,896 --> 00:01:23,586
- Come on. Seriously?
37
00:01:23,655 --> 00:01:24,827
- I know. I know.
I am so sorry.
38
00:01:24,896 --> 00:01:26,862
I just--I have a major deal
tonight.
39
00:01:26,931 --> 00:01:28,551
- Makeup?
40
00:01:28,620 --> 00:01:30,655
- Yeah, it's makeup you can
eat, but I wouldn't.
41
00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:33,034
- Can I get anyone some coffee?
42
00:01:33,103 --> 00:01:34,965
- No, uh...
43
00:01:35,034 --> 00:01:36,448
- I'm good.
44
00:01:36,517 --> 00:01:38,103
- I'm good, dude.
45
00:01:38,172 --> 00:01:39,206
Thank you, though.
46
00:01:42,689 --> 00:01:43,793
Who's he?
47
00:01:43,862 --> 00:01:46,448
- Josh, their name is Tam,
okay?
48
00:01:46,517 --> 00:01:48,413
You can't just assume
everyone's pronouns, buddy.
49
00:01:50,172 --> 00:01:52,310
- Okay, I'm gonna be down
in the shop
50
00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:53,896
in case anyone needs me.
51
00:01:53,965 --> 00:01:56,896
[funky music]
52
00:01:56,965 --> 00:01:58,896
53
00:01:59,896 --> 00:02:01,413
- Josh, good morning.
54
00:02:01,482 --> 00:02:03,586
- Hey, good morning.
55
00:02:03,655 --> 00:02:05,758
- You haven't been returning
any of my messages.
56
00:02:05,827 --> 00:02:09,241
- I know, it's--look, it's just
been a crazy week.
57
00:02:09,310 --> 00:02:11,724
- Josh, I need an answer.
58
00:02:11,793 --> 00:02:13,448
- I know.
I'm figuring it out.
59
00:02:13,517 --> 00:02:17,034
Just...give me 24 hours.
60
00:02:17,103 --> 00:02:19,068
- Okay, 24 hours.
61
00:02:19,137 --> 00:02:22,551
- ♪ I choose me again and
again ♪
62
00:02:22,620 --> 00:02:25,586
♪ 'Cause I chose you again and
again ♪
63
00:02:25,655 --> 00:02:28,620
♪ Don't give any damn
I don't care ♪
64
00:02:28,689 --> 00:02:31,551
♪ Gave you all I can
of me babe ♪
65
00:02:31,620 --> 00:02:33,206
- Guys, I'm sorry.
66
00:02:33,275 --> 00:02:35,275
It's just it's the busiest
season of the year.
67
00:02:35,344 --> 00:02:37,655
There's all these schmoozing
events before the mid-terms.
68
00:02:37,724 --> 00:02:39,379
- We totally understand that.
69
00:02:39,448 --> 00:02:42,586
But last Thursday, we had a
drop-dead date for chapter one
70
00:02:42,655 --> 00:02:45,655
and yet still no chapter one.
71
00:02:47,344 --> 00:02:49,931
- Okay, no more excuses.
72
00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:52,655
After this Arianna Huffington
event tonight,
73
00:02:52,724 --> 00:02:54,379
I will hit the ground running.
74
00:02:54,448 --> 00:02:56,517
- Ooh, what Arianna Huffington
event?
75
00:02:56,586 --> 00:02:58,620
It's on negativethinking.
76
00:02:58,689 --> 00:03:02,448
- Oh, yet another Twitter
movement that I'm behind on.
77
00:03:02,517 --> 00:03:05,586
- No, it's just an excuse to
drink and to talk about how
78
00:03:05,655 --> 00:03:08,517
liberals are still arguing
about Bernie versus Hillary.
79
00:03:08,586 --> 00:03:12,137
It's cathartic, I think.
80
00:03:12,206 --> 00:03:13,448
You should--you should come
with me.
81
00:03:13,517 --> 00:03:16,379
- I would love to.
82
00:03:16,448 --> 00:03:18,551
- Sorry, I've only got a
plus-one.
83
00:03:18,620 --> 00:03:20,034
- Oh, that's fine.
84
00:03:20,103 --> 00:03:21,931
I don't have the energy for
that accent tonight.
85
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:23,034
You kids have fun.
86
00:03:23,103 --> 00:03:24,344
- Don't worry about me.
87
00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:27,344
[upbeat music]
88
00:03:27,413 --> 00:03:31,724
♪ ♪
89
00:03:31,793 --> 00:03:35,413
- ♪ Open and free your mind ♪
90
00:03:35,482 --> 00:03:38,827
♪ Shoe 'em everything that's
living deep deep inside ♪
91
00:03:38,896 --> 00:03:40,689
♪ Tick-tock tick-tock ♪
92
00:03:40,758 --> 00:03:42,931
♪ I'm about to explode ♪
93
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:44,586
♪ ♪
94
00:03:44,655 --> 00:03:47,275
- ♪ Gotta gotta express
yourself ♪
95
00:03:47,344 --> 00:03:50,275
[laid-back funky music]
96
00:03:50,344 --> 00:03:53,827
♪ ♪
97
00:03:53,896 --> 00:03:55,655
- Popular, popular guy here.
98
00:03:55,724 --> 00:03:58,586
- Yeah...
- [laughs]
99
00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:00,241
- Okay, sorry I keep parading
you around here.
100
00:04:00,310 --> 00:04:02,965
Just talking about myself
always makes me nervous.
101
00:04:03,034 --> 00:04:04,517
- Really?
102
00:04:04,586 --> 00:04:06,655
It doesn't seem to bother you
on your podcast.
103
00:04:06,724 --> 00:04:10,206
- You know, strangely, I think
I am most comfortable
104
00:04:10,275 --> 00:04:12,586
either in a crowd or alone.
105
00:04:12,655 --> 00:04:16,758
One-on-one, I'm...terrible.
106
00:04:16,827 --> 00:04:19,068
- [laughs]
You're doing fine.
107
00:04:19,137 --> 00:04:21,206
- Thanks.
108
00:04:21,275 --> 00:04:22,586
- Jake.
109
00:04:22,655 --> 00:04:25,241
- Oh, good.
Here comes a crowd.
110
00:04:25,310 --> 00:04:29,068
- Guys, this is my editor,
Kelsey Peters.
111
00:04:29,137 --> 00:04:31,103
- Hi.
- Kelsey, this is Levitt
112
00:04:31,172 --> 00:04:32,862
and Charlotte.
113
00:04:32,931 --> 00:04:34,689
Their co-hosts of the podcast
and spent some time
114
00:04:34,758 --> 00:04:35,965
with me in the White House.
115
00:04:36,034 --> 00:04:37,551
- I know who they are.
116
00:04:37,620 --> 00:04:39,172
- Still can't believe you got a
book deal before me.
117
00:04:39,241 --> 00:04:41,758
- I read "Conversations With My
Doodle" and loved it.
118
00:04:41,827 --> 00:04:45,034
And surprisingly, not
ironically.
119
00:04:45,103 --> 00:04:47,000
- That book was a surprise to
all of us.
120
00:04:47,068 --> 00:04:48,758
- Kelsey just signed a content
deal
121
00:04:48,827 --> 00:04:50,172
with Reese Witherspoon's
company.
122
00:04:50,241 --> 00:04:51,827
- What? Okay, don't move.
123
00:04:51,896 --> 00:04:53,068
We're gonna get you a drink,
124
00:04:53,137 --> 00:04:54,172
and you're gonna tell us
everything.
125
00:04:54,241 --> 00:04:57,689
- Okay.
126
00:04:57,758 --> 00:04:59,000
- Come on.
127
00:04:59,068 --> 00:05:02,379
I don't want to share you
tonight.
128
00:05:04,758 --> 00:05:05,724
- [laughs]
129
00:05:05,793 --> 00:05:07,482
- [laughs]
130
00:05:07,551 --> 00:05:08,827
- Ohh.
- How about that view?
131
00:05:08,896 --> 00:05:10,896
- Come on.
132
00:05:10,965 --> 00:05:13,724
- God, I love this city.
133
00:05:13,793 --> 00:05:16,448
There.
- Oh, thanks.
134
00:05:19,655 --> 00:05:21,310
- When do you go back to D.C.?
135
00:05:21,379 --> 00:05:23,172
- Tomorrow morning.
136
00:05:23,241 --> 00:05:28,034
Wish I could stay longer.
137
00:05:28,103 --> 00:05:29,413
Can I kiss you?
138
00:05:29,482 --> 00:05:31,620
- What?
139
00:05:31,689 --> 00:05:33,275
Sorry.
140
00:05:33,344 --> 00:05:35,137
I just thought that
141
00:05:35,206 --> 00:05:38,758
Obama's speech writer would...
be a little smoother than that.
142
00:05:38,827 --> 00:05:42,758
- Oh, well, it worked on
Michelle.
143
00:05:42,827 --> 00:05:43,758
I'm kidding.
144
00:05:43,827 --> 00:05:46,172
Kidding.
- Oh.
145
00:05:46,241 --> 00:05:47,586
I wish you weren't.
146
00:05:47,655 --> 00:05:49,758
That would be so good in the
book.
147
00:05:49,827 --> 00:05:51,172
- Yeah.
148
00:05:51,241 --> 00:05:54,172
You really only care about the
book?
149
00:05:54,241 --> 00:05:56,517
- I am your editor.
150
00:05:56,586 --> 00:05:59,482
- Still haven't answered my
question.
151
00:05:59,551 --> 00:06:02,517
[Opus Orange's "The Next
World"]
152
00:06:02,586 --> 00:06:04,448
♪ ♪
153
00:06:04,517 --> 00:06:06,689
- ♪ Open my eyes all I see ♪
154
00:06:06,758 --> 00:06:10,206
♪ Are your dark brown eyes
looking at me ♪
155
00:06:10,275 --> 00:06:12,517
♪ ♪
156
00:06:12,586 --> 00:06:15,137
- Falafels are on me.
157
00:06:15,206 --> 00:06:17,034
Thank you.
158
00:06:17,103 --> 00:06:20,551
My article on "Where Are They
Now: The Members of O-Town"
159
00:06:20,620 --> 00:06:22,482
just got 100,000 views, so...
160
00:06:22,551 --> 00:06:24,137
- Oh, well, congratulations?
161
00:06:24,206 --> 00:06:25,551
- Thank you.
162
00:06:25,620 --> 00:06:26,551
- Oh.
- Ooh.
163
00:06:26,620 --> 00:06:28,241
- Sorry, it's icy.
164
00:06:28,310 --> 00:06:29,241
- I gotcha.
165
00:06:29,310 --> 00:06:31,172
- Thank you.
166
00:06:31,241 --> 00:06:35,482
- Yeah, I'm--I'm doing a series
of "Where Are They Nows."
167
00:06:35,551 --> 00:06:38,137
The next one's on my dignity.
168
00:06:38,206 --> 00:06:40,344
- Well, you do what you've got
to do to pay the bills.
169
00:06:40,413 --> 00:06:42,103
- Yep.
170
00:06:42,172 --> 00:06:44,517
I still have to put together a
listicle of GIFs
171
00:06:44,586 --> 00:06:45,896
called "Nun fails."
172
00:06:45,965 --> 00:06:47,793
[laughter]
Yeah.
173
00:06:47,862 --> 00:06:50,482
[phone chimes]
Oh, sorry.
174
00:06:50,551 --> 00:06:53,655
Oh, my God.
175
00:06:53,724 --> 00:06:54,862
I was not prepared for that.
176
00:06:54,931 --> 00:06:56,000
- What is it?
177
00:06:56,068 --> 00:06:57,310
- My son sent me a picture...
178
00:06:57,379 --> 00:06:58,310
- Oh, can I see?
179
00:06:58,379 --> 00:06:59,620
- Of his penis.
180
00:06:59,689 --> 00:07:01,448
- Did you ask for that?
181
00:07:01,517 --> 00:07:03,551
- [chuckles]
He's 16, and he thinks
182
00:07:03,620 --> 00:07:04,689
he might have herpes.
183
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:05,862
- [gasps]
184
00:07:05,931 --> 00:07:07,724
And how does it look?
185
00:07:07,793 --> 00:07:10,551
- Um, like a teenager who
masturbated too much.
186
00:07:10,620 --> 00:07:11,931
- [laughs]
187
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:15,965
Sounds like you're close.
188
00:07:16,034 --> 00:07:18,275
- As a divorced dad, I try to
be there for him
189
00:07:18,344 --> 00:07:20,103
without judgment.
190
00:07:20,172 --> 00:07:22,275
I just don't understand this
generation's need
191
00:07:22,344 --> 00:07:24,068
to share everything.
192
00:07:24,137 --> 00:07:26,379
- [laughs]
Well, at least he's not posting
193
00:07:26,448 --> 00:07:28,896
a picture of his penis online
and mushing it into
194
00:07:28,965 --> 00:07:30,827
a loaf of pumpernickel.
195
00:07:30,896 --> 00:07:32,551
- What?
- [laughs]
196
00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:34,206
Never mind.
197
00:07:34,275 --> 00:07:35,758
Oh!
198
00:07:35,827 --> 00:07:37,103
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my...
199
00:07:37,172 --> 00:07:39,517
- Are--are you okay?
- Oh, my God.
200
00:07:39,586 --> 00:07:42,517
[laughs]
I'm fine. So sorry.
201
00:07:42,586 --> 00:07:44,689
Let me--let me just get my
stuff.
202
00:07:44,758 --> 00:07:47,000
Ohh.
- Ahh.
203
00:07:49,241 --> 00:07:51,275
Here's your license.
204
00:07:51,344 --> 00:07:56,000
And here's your other license.
205
00:08:03,448 --> 00:08:06,034
[upbeat music]
206
00:08:06,103 --> 00:08:08,172
- That's crazy.
207
00:08:08,241 --> 00:08:11,517
You're basically living a
double life.
208
00:08:11,586 --> 00:08:13,034
- I see it like this.
209
00:08:13,103 --> 00:08:16,655
The world is ageist,
and until that changes,
210
00:08:16,724 --> 00:08:18,172
I can't play by the rules.
211
00:08:18,241 --> 00:08:20,034
- So true.
212
00:08:20,103 --> 00:08:21,344
You are clever.
213
00:08:21,413 --> 00:08:23,172
- I have to be.
214
00:08:23,241 --> 00:08:26,551
I have a daughter in college to
support.
215
00:08:26,620 --> 00:08:30,241
- And no one has found out?
216
00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:32,586
- Well, let me just say that I
wish I didn't have to continue
217
00:08:32,655 --> 00:08:34,551
the charade, but I have to to
keep
218
00:08:34,620 --> 00:08:36,172
the millennial brand intact.
219
00:08:36,241 --> 00:08:38,172
- Wow.
220
00:08:38,241 --> 00:08:39,862
You are my hero.
221
00:08:39,931 --> 00:08:42,517
- I am nobody's hero.
222
00:08:42,586 --> 00:08:45,034
I'm a fraud.
223
00:08:45,103 --> 00:08:47,241
But you do what you have to do.
224
00:08:47,310 --> 00:08:51,482
- Well, I can't pretend to be a
hot young woman,
225
00:08:51,551 --> 00:08:55,034
but hopefully I can think of
something.
226
00:08:55,103 --> 00:08:57,344
- You're so talented.
227
00:08:57,413 --> 00:08:58,586
You will.
228
00:08:58,655 --> 00:09:01,655
[gentle music]
229
00:09:01,724 --> 00:09:08,758
♪ ♪
230
00:09:10,137 --> 00:09:11,931
[upbeat music]
231
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:15,310
- Hey, Caitlin, it's--it's me
again.
232
00:09:15,379 --> 00:09:17,482
I'm not sure if you got my last
message.
233
00:09:17,551 --> 00:09:21,172
I just--just want to see what
you're up to, honey.
234
00:09:21,241 --> 00:09:24,241
- If you're satisfied with
your message, hang up...
235
00:09:24,310 --> 00:09:25,620
- Damn it.
- Or press...
236
00:09:25,689 --> 00:09:27,379
- [sighs]
237
00:09:40,965 --> 00:09:43,206
- How was Arianna Huffington's
party?
238
00:09:43,275 --> 00:09:44,344
- Fine.
239
00:09:44,413 --> 00:09:47,310
- Levitt tagged you in a
picture.
240
00:09:47,379 --> 00:09:48,758
You and Jake look cozy.
241
00:09:49,862 --> 00:09:53,068
Cozier than an author and his
editor should be.
242
00:09:53,137 --> 00:09:54,896
- Calm down.
243
00:09:54,965 --> 00:09:58,655
We look cozy, because we're
sitting on a velvet couch.
244
00:09:58,724 --> 00:10:00,965
- Look, I can tell this guy's
got a crush on you.
245
00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:02,448
You're too smart to do
something
246
00:10:02,517 --> 00:10:04,965
to jeopardize this book.
247
00:10:05,034 --> 00:10:07,206
- You're right. I am.
248
00:10:08,551 --> 00:10:11,206
So I don't need to hear it from
you.
249
00:10:17,103 --> 00:10:20,034
[upbeat music]
250
00:10:20,103 --> 00:10:27,068
♪ ♪
251
00:10:34,655 --> 00:10:37,310
- Hey, is this a blow off?
252
00:10:37,379 --> 00:10:39,000
- It seems like he actually has
work.
253
00:10:39,068 --> 00:10:40,551
I mean, you can't assume that
everyone's lying
254
00:10:40,620 --> 00:10:42,551
just because you are.
255
00:10:42,620 --> 00:10:44,448
- Hi.
- Hey.
256
00:10:44,517 --> 00:10:46,517
This event is so cool.
257
00:10:46,586 --> 00:10:48,586
- I know. I know.
258
00:10:48,655 --> 00:10:51,000
- Lip stain?
- Oh, do I eat it or wear it?
259
00:10:51,068 --> 00:10:53,655
- I'm not here to tell you what
to do.
260
00:10:53,724 --> 00:10:55,896
- I'll try it. I'm starving.
261
00:10:55,965 --> 00:10:57,413
- Aren't they great?
262
00:10:57,482 --> 00:10:58,931
- Who?
263
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:01,034
- Tam, my assistant.
You just met them.
264
00:11:01,103 --> 00:11:02,655
- I only saw one person.
265
00:11:02,724 --> 00:11:04,241
- Tam is gender-queer.
266
00:11:04,310 --> 00:11:05,965
- Gender-queer?
267
00:11:06,034 --> 00:11:07,827
Oh. Oh, so he's bi?
268
00:11:07,896 --> 00:11:09,413
- Oh, my God. Liza, no.
Please, do not--no,
269
00:11:09,482 --> 00:11:11,034
do not use that word here.
270
00:11:11,103 --> 00:11:13,068
Tam's pan-sexual,
homo-romantic,
271
00:11:13,137 --> 00:11:15,137
and their pronouns are they,
them, and there.
272
00:11:15,206 --> 00:11:16,793
All right, no more questions.
It's offensive.
273
00:11:16,862 --> 00:11:19,482
The LGBTQIAPK community has
been through enough.
274
00:11:19,551 --> 00:11:21,241
- You lost me after T.
275
00:11:21,310 --> 00:11:23,793
- Lesbian, gay, bisexual,
trans, queer, questioning,
276
00:11:23,862 --> 00:11:25,827
intersex, asexual, pan, poly,
kink.
277
00:11:25,896 --> 00:11:27,448
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
278
00:11:27,517 --> 00:11:29,689
Please keep your mingling to a
minimum.
279
00:11:29,758 --> 00:11:33,586
- Ooh, I was less confused in
the closet.
280
00:11:33,655 --> 00:11:34,827
- Ooh, how's the mascara?
281
00:11:34,896 --> 00:11:36,655
- It tastes like burnt ass.
282
00:11:36,724 --> 00:11:38,689
- You know what? I'm gonna go
find some real food.
283
00:11:38,758 --> 00:11:40,310
I'll be back.
[phone chimes]
284
00:11:40,379 --> 00:11:41,586
- Hmm, nutty.
285
00:11:41,655 --> 00:11:43,000
[keypad clicking]
286
00:11:43,068 --> 00:11:44,206
- Who are you texting?
287
00:11:44,275 --> 00:11:45,655
- Jake Devereux.
288
00:11:45,724 --> 00:11:46,862
- The Obama guy?
289
00:11:46,931 --> 00:11:48,758
- He's cute and funny.
290
00:11:48,827 --> 00:11:50,551
- Uh-oh, you sure that's a good
idea.
291
00:11:50,620 --> 00:11:53,620
- I hung out with him last
night as his editor.
292
00:11:54,896 --> 00:11:57,344
Okay, and we kissed.
293
00:11:58,448 --> 00:12:00,000
And I think I like him.
294
00:12:00,068 --> 00:12:04,379
- Kelsey.
- I know.
295
00:12:04,448 --> 00:12:05,931
Just eat your mascara.
296
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:08,931
[upbeat music]
297
00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:13,413
♪ ♪
298
00:12:13,482 --> 00:12:14,793
- Tam, lean in.
299
00:12:14,862 --> 00:12:16,551
- I will not.
This is humiliating.
300
00:12:16,620 --> 00:12:19,413
- Oh. Yes. No, you're right.
You're right. Selfies are dead.
301
00:12:19,482 --> 00:12:22,379
Ooh, Maggie, Maggie, will you
take a picture of us?
302
00:12:22,448 --> 00:12:24,896
- Yeah, sure.
- No.
303
00:12:24,965 --> 00:12:27,000
You're making a spectacle.
304
00:12:27,068 --> 00:12:28,620
- Yeah, that's the whole point.
305
00:12:28,689 --> 00:12:31,482
- Lauren, everything can't be
in all-caps.
306
00:12:31,551 --> 00:12:32,931
- What do you mean?
307
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:35,068
- Let me put this another way.
308
00:12:35,137 --> 00:12:37,655
It's not cool.
309
00:12:37,724 --> 00:12:38,931
Nobody posts anymore.
310
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,551
It's all word of mouth.
311
00:12:40,620 --> 00:12:43,344
- Oh, yes. No, no, okay, I was
just being ironic.
312
00:12:43,413 --> 00:12:44,586
This is for my finsta.
313
00:12:44,655 --> 00:12:46,103
That's "fake Instagram."
314
00:12:46,172 --> 00:12:48,068
- Millennials are so sad.
315
00:12:48,137 --> 00:12:50,034
♪ ♪
316
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:51,724
- Oh, my God.
317
00:12:51,793 --> 00:12:52,862
Okay, that just happened.
318
00:12:52,931 --> 00:12:54,482
I'm old.
319
00:12:54,551 --> 00:12:55,931
- Don't make me choke you out.
- What's wrong?
320
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,448
- Tam's being a dick.
321
00:12:57,517 --> 00:12:59,137
They just told Lauren that
she's irrelevant.
322
00:12:59,206 --> 00:13:00,620
- They're right, Liza.
They are.
323
00:13:00,689 --> 00:13:02,206
They're right.
Millennials are over.
324
00:13:02,275 --> 00:13:03,482
We are done.
325
00:13:03,551 --> 00:13:05,689
- No, we're still happenin'.
326
00:13:05,758 --> 00:13:07,862
-You know, getting older isn't
so bad.
327
00:13:07,931 --> 00:13:10,620
Maybe you want to try it
sometime.
328
00:13:12,137 --> 00:13:14,344
[phone buzzes]
329
00:13:17,379 --> 00:13:19,793
- Hey, what's going on?
330
00:13:19,862 --> 00:13:23,137
- You want to come say good-bye
to Inkburg?
331
00:13:23,206 --> 00:13:24,896
- What are you talking about?
332
00:13:24,965 --> 00:13:27,482
- I'm done with this place,
Liza.
333
00:13:27,551 --> 00:13:31,068
- Okay, just--you stay right
there.
334
00:13:31,137 --> 00:13:33,620
I'm coming over.
335
00:13:33,689 --> 00:13:36,620
[light electronic music]
336
00:13:36,689 --> 00:13:43,724
♪ ♪
337
00:13:46,827 --> 00:13:48,793
- Sorry, ma'am, we are closed.
338
00:13:48,862 --> 00:13:52,448
- I already got my tattoo,
thank you.
339
00:13:52,517 --> 00:13:54,517
What's going on?
340
00:13:54,586 --> 00:14:00,068
- My landlord wants me to sign
a ten-year lease or vacate.
341
00:14:00,137 --> 00:14:01,655
- Whoa, look who's an adult.
342
00:14:01,724 --> 00:14:04,379
- [laughs]
343
00:14:04,448 --> 00:14:06,034
I think I'm gonna vacate.
344
00:14:06,103 --> 00:14:09,413
- Wh...you're gonna give
Inkburg up?
345
00:14:09,482 --> 00:14:11,379
What are you gonna do instead?
346
00:14:11,448 --> 00:14:13,275
- Anything, really.
347
00:14:13,344 --> 00:14:16,827
I could rent a chair at a
tattoo shop in Portland,
348
00:14:16,896 --> 00:14:18,379
Silver Lake.
349
00:14:18,448 --> 00:14:20,758
- This place is your passion,
your soul.
350
00:14:23,103 --> 00:14:26,724
- I just don't know if there's
anything here for me anymore.
351
00:14:26,793 --> 00:14:30,206
[somber music]
352
00:14:30,275 --> 00:14:33,000
I don't know if I have it in my
to make any more commitments.
353
00:14:33,068 --> 00:14:36,620
- Are you kidding?
354
00:14:36,689 --> 00:14:40,034
This is a commitment.
This is a commitment.
355
00:14:40,103 --> 00:14:43,413
All of these are commitments to
yourself.
356
00:14:43,482 --> 00:14:45,896
You can't go wrong committing
to yourself.
357
00:14:45,965 --> 00:14:49,206
Trust me.
358
00:14:49,275 --> 00:14:51,000
- [sighs]
359
00:14:51,068 --> 00:14:54,448
Trust you.
360
00:14:54,517 --> 00:14:56,931
How can I be sure
361
00:14:57,000 --> 00:15:02,000
that this place is my future.
362
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:04,620
And what's keeping me here?
363
00:15:04,689 --> 00:15:08,103
- You've got all of us,
364
00:15:08,172 --> 00:15:12,000
Maggie and Kelsey,
and you've got me.
365
00:15:16,206 --> 00:15:20,310
- No, I don't have you.
366
00:15:20,379 --> 00:15:27,310
♪ ♪
367
00:15:27,379 --> 00:15:29,620
I'm gonna clean up a little
bit.
368
00:15:29,689 --> 00:15:34,137
♪ ♪
369
00:15:34,206 --> 00:15:37,448
Good night, Liza.
370
00:15:37,517 --> 00:15:39,137
♪ ♪
371
00:15:42,931 --> 00:15:43,862
- ♪ Yeah yeah yeah ♪
372
00:15:43,931 --> 00:15:46,344
♪ ♪
373
00:15:46,413 --> 00:15:47,931
♪ Oh Mona Lisa
feel that beat ♪
374
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:49,931
♪ This heat gonna light
that fire ♪
375
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:53,689
♪ ♪
376
00:15:53,758 --> 00:15:56,275
♪ Oh Mona Lisa I know
we're gonna start that fire ♪
377
00:15:56,344 --> 00:16:01,103
[telephone rings]
378
00:16:01,172 --> 00:16:03,103
- Liza Miller speaking.
- Hi, there.
379
00:16:03,172 --> 00:16:05,103
This is May from "Vanity Fair."
380
00:16:05,172 --> 00:16:07,517
I'm checking some details for a
story about you.
381
00:16:07,586 --> 00:16:08,965
- About me?
382
00:16:09,034 --> 00:16:11,310
- You and "Millennial."
- Oh, okay.
383
00:16:11,379 --> 00:16:14,310
- I see here that you are one
of the co-founders
384
00:16:14,379 --> 00:16:15,896
of "Millennial Print."
385
00:16:15,965 --> 00:16:19,275
- Yes.
- And that you're 41.
386
00:16:21,206 --> 00:16:23,931
- Uh...who's writing this
article?
387
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,413
- Don Ridley.
Can we confirm your age?
388
00:16:27,655 --> 00:16:29,413
- Hey, we're late for the Reese
meeting.
389
00:16:29,482 --> 00:16:30,724
- Okay, I've got to go.
Bye-bye.
390
00:16:30,793 --> 00:16:34,448
- Let's go. Let's go.
391
00:16:34,517 --> 00:16:36,448
Come on.
392
00:16:36,517 --> 00:16:38,206
You told Don your real age?
393
00:16:38,275 --> 00:16:41,068
- No, he saw both my IDs when I
slipped on ice
394
00:16:41,137 --> 00:16:42,413
and dropped my bag.
395
00:16:42,482 --> 00:16:44,448
- Well, why didn't you make up
a story,
396
00:16:44,517 --> 00:16:47,310
like, tell him you were trying
to get discounts or something?
397
00:16:47,379 --> 00:16:49,241
- On what?
- I don't know.
398
00:16:49,310 --> 00:16:51,034
What do old people buy?
399
00:16:51,103 --> 00:16:53,034
- I'm not a senior citizen,
and that's not the point.
400
00:16:53,103 --> 00:16:55,965
"Vanity Fair" is going to
publish an article exposing me.
401
00:16:56,034 --> 00:16:58,793
- What?
[phone buzzes]
402
00:16:58,862 --> 00:17:00,862
Oh, my God.
They're calling me now.
403
00:17:00,931 --> 00:17:02,068
- Don't answer it.
404
00:17:02,137 --> 00:17:03,655
- Okay, we cannot deal with
this.
405
00:17:03,724 --> 00:17:06,448
Whatever we do, we cannot let
Reese's people know.
406
00:17:06,517 --> 00:17:07,655
- Not a word.
407
00:17:07,724 --> 00:17:08,620
[phone buzzing]
- Ahh.
408
00:17:08,689 --> 00:17:11,344
- Okay, let me see.
409
00:17:11,413 --> 00:17:12,482
New phone. Who dis?
410
00:17:12,551 --> 00:17:14,068
- ♪ Hey hey ♪
411
00:17:14,137 --> 00:17:19,413
♪ ♪
412
00:17:19,482 --> 00:17:21,068
- I received a very
unsettling phone call
413
00:17:21,137 --> 00:17:22,827
from a fact-checker this
morning.
414
00:17:22,896 --> 00:17:25,689
She was insinuating something
very odd about your age.
415
00:17:25,758 --> 00:17:28,000
Reese is in pieces.
416
00:17:28,068 --> 00:17:30,620
Liza, how old are you?
417
00:17:32,034 --> 00:17:33,034
- I'm...
418
00:17:36,758 --> 00:17:38,793
Age-queer.
419
00:17:38,862 --> 00:17:40,965
- What?
- I'm age-queer.
420
00:17:41,965 --> 00:17:43,655
That fact-checker was trying to
age-shame us for being young,
421
00:17:43,724 --> 00:17:47,206
so I told them I'm old in
protest.
422
00:17:47,275 --> 00:17:48,310
And it's, like, who cares?
423
00:17:48,379 --> 00:17:50,034
I don't identify as any age.
424
00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:51,862
- Neither do I.
425
00:17:51,931 --> 00:17:54,034
- They were so focused on how
successful we were for our age,
426
00:17:54,103 --> 00:17:56,000
and it shouldn't matter how old
we are.
427
00:17:56,068 --> 00:17:57,137
- Exactly.
428
00:17:57,206 --> 00:17:58,137
Screw them.
429
00:17:58,206 --> 00:17:59,379
- Who's them?
430
00:17:59,448 --> 00:18:00,896
- The patriarchy.
431
00:18:00,965 --> 00:18:02,275
- So I told them I'm 41.
432
00:18:02,344 --> 00:18:04,241
And let them think that for all
I care.
433
00:18:04,310 --> 00:18:05,793
We're post-age.
434
00:18:05,862 --> 00:18:09,275
- But how old--I'm confused.
435
00:18:09,344 --> 00:18:11,965
- It's confusing, but it's not
wrong.
436
00:18:12,034 --> 00:18:14,137
- Mm-mm.
- Every time you get a bunch of
437
00:18:14,206 --> 00:18:16,034
strong, powerful women
together,
438
00:18:16,103 --> 00:18:18,137
it's their looks, their age.
439
00:18:18,206 --> 00:18:19,620
They're too young.
They're too sexy.
440
00:18:19,689 --> 00:18:20,655
- I mean, what are they gonna
do, throw us in
441
00:18:20,724 --> 00:18:22,137
"The Handmaid's Tale"?
442
00:18:22,206 --> 00:18:23,620
- Under his eye, girl.
443
00:18:25,827 --> 00:18:28,482
- Kiara, it's the fact-checker
again.
444
00:18:30,068 --> 00:18:31,965
- I'll handle them.
445
00:18:36,517 --> 00:18:38,172
- Age-queer?
- I...
446
00:18:38,241 --> 00:18:40,793
- That was insane.
- Yeah, and probably offensive.
447
00:18:40,862 --> 00:18:43,379
- Liza, we have to stop this
story.
448
00:18:43,448 --> 00:18:44,620
- I know.
449
00:18:44,689 --> 00:18:46,137
I'm gonna go find Don right
now.
450
00:18:46,206 --> 00:18:47,551
Before he stopped texting, he
mentioned
451
00:18:47,620 --> 00:18:49,068
a luncheon for Broadway Cares.
452
00:18:49,137 --> 00:18:50,793
- That's a nice charity.
453
00:18:50,862 --> 00:18:53,413
- The only thing Don cares
about is the free food.
454
00:18:53,482 --> 00:18:56,413
[upbeat music]
455
00:18:56,482 --> 00:19:03,551
456
00:19:14,793 --> 00:19:16,586
Don.
457
00:19:16,655 --> 00:19:18,068
- Liza.
458
00:19:18,137 --> 00:19:19,310
- I was the story you were
working on.
459
00:19:19,379 --> 00:19:21,000
How could you do that to me?
460
00:19:21,068 --> 00:19:23,482
I thought that I met a man that
I liked,
461
00:19:23,551 --> 00:19:25,413
that I trusted.
462
00:19:25,482 --> 00:19:27,275
- I'm sorry.
463
00:19:27,344 --> 00:19:29,551
I'm a freelancer.
I need to dig up stories.
464
00:19:29,620 --> 00:19:31,620
And you're a really great one.
465
00:19:31,689 --> 00:19:32,931
You said it yourself.
466
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,517
You do what you have to do.
467
00:19:34,586 --> 00:19:37,137
- Not at the expense of
destroying someone else.
468
00:19:37,206 --> 00:19:38,724
- This story might end up being
the best thing
469
00:19:38,793 --> 00:19:40,172
that ever happened to you.
470
00:19:40,241 --> 00:19:41,827
I could make you the poster
child for ageism.
471
00:19:41,896 --> 00:19:45,827
- And also kill my career
and damage "Millennial."
472
00:19:47,206 --> 00:19:49,275
- Well, none of that's gonna
happen.
473
00:19:49,344 --> 00:19:50,793
They just pulled it.
474
00:19:50,862 --> 00:19:52,551
There' some social media thing
that's exploding
475
00:19:52,620 --> 00:19:56,275
about being age-queer,
whatever that means.
476
00:19:56,344 --> 00:19:59,000
Suddenly everyone's sensitive
to age-shaming.
477
00:19:59,068 --> 00:20:02,758
- Oh, wow. Good.
478
00:20:02,827 --> 00:20:04,275
They should be sensitive to it.
479
00:20:04,344 --> 00:20:06,517
- Yeah, and once again, I'm
out.
480
00:20:06,586 --> 00:20:08,000
You know, it seems like the
only people who get
481
00:20:08,068 --> 00:20:09,827
discriminated against anymore
are middle-aged
482
00:20:09,896 --> 00:20:11,275
straight white men.
483
00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:15,206
me, okay? me.
484
00:20:15,275 --> 00:20:17,862
- You know, I think I might
know why you can't find work.
485
00:20:17,931 --> 00:20:19,103
- And why is that?
486
00:20:19,172 --> 00:20:21,448
- Because you're an asshole,
Don.
487
00:20:21,517 --> 00:20:24,448
[funky music]
488
00:20:24,517 --> 00:20:31,517
♪ ♪
489
00:20:32,551 --> 00:20:33,931
You're an adult.
490
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,517
Your life is your life.
491
00:20:35,586 --> 00:20:37,482
But why are you smashing your
face into bread?
492
00:20:37,551 --> 00:20:39,000
- Oh, my God.
How did you see that?
493
00:20:39,068 --> 00:20:40,517
- I feel like I don't know you
anymore.
494
00:20:40,586 --> 00:20:42,034
- Mom, it's not who I am.
495
00:20:42,103 --> 00:20:43,517
It's just a thing I do for some
extra money.
496
00:20:43,586 --> 00:20:45,000
- Okay, let me tell you
something.
497
00:20:45,068 --> 00:20:47,827
You become what you do.
498
00:20:47,896 --> 00:20:50,068
If you cheat, you become a
cheater.
499
00:20:50,137 --> 00:20:53,551
If you like, you...
you become a liar.
500
00:20:53,620 --> 00:20:55,689
- It's so easy for you.
You're so perfect.
501
00:20:55,758 --> 00:20:58,586
- Caitlin, I have done plenty
of things in my life
502
00:20:58,655 --> 00:20:59,965
that I am not proud of.
503
00:21:00,034 --> 00:21:02,689
- Like what?
504
00:21:02,758 --> 00:21:04,620
- Someday I will tell you all
about them.
505
00:21:04,689 --> 00:21:09,241
But for now, will you just stop
breadfacing.
506
00:21:09,310 --> 00:21:11,206
- Jeez, Mom, is it really that
embarrassing?
507
00:21:15,068 --> 00:21:18,068
What?
508
00:21:19,620 --> 00:21:20,931
- Ohh.
- Mom.
509
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:22,551
- Oh, this is surprising.
- Mom, stop.
510
00:21:22,620 --> 00:21:24,827
People are watching.
- Ooh, it's so soft.
511
00:21:24,896 --> 00:21:27,827
Ohh, yeah. Mmm.
512
00:21:27,896 --> 00:21:30,310
- Okay, okay, I'll stop.
513
00:21:31,965 --> 00:21:34,034
God, you could really ruin
anything.
514
00:21:34,103 --> 00:21:35,586
- I love you too.
515
00:21:35,655 --> 00:21:37,034
- [laughs]
516
00:21:37,103 --> 00:21:38,275
Are you still gonna eat it?
517
00:21:38,344 --> 00:21:41,931
- Of course I'm gonna eat that
bread.
518
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:43,241
I liked it on my chin.
519
00:21:43,310 --> 00:21:44,758
- Yep.
- It was really crispy.
520
00:21:48,241 --> 00:21:51,172
[upbeat music]
521
00:21:51,241 --> 00:21:59,034
522
00:21:59,103 --> 00:22:02,310
[knock at door]
523
00:22:02,379 --> 00:22:04,206
- Hey. What are you doing here?
524
00:22:04,275 --> 00:22:05,965
- Josh, I can't let you do
this.
525
00:22:06,034 --> 00:22:08,206
Who knows what the future
holds,
526
00:22:08,275 --> 00:22:11,379
but I know how much you love
that place.
527
00:22:11,448 --> 00:22:13,034
This was your dream.
528
00:22:13,103 --> 00:22:14,310
You built it from nothing.
529
00:22:14,379 --> 00:22:16,103
It's who you are.
530
00:22:16,172 --> 00:22:18,551
Take that lease.
531
00:22:18,620 --> 00:22:20,000
I'm not going away.
532
00:22:20,068 --> 00:22:22,551
Kelsey and Maggie aren't going
away.
533
00:22:22,620 --> 00:22:24,206
Your roots are here.
534
00:22:24,275 --> 00:22:26,793
I will be at your side.
535
00:22:26,862 --> 00:22:29,517
You don't have to commit to us,
but we commit to you.
536
00:22:29,586 --> 00:22:32,137
I commit to you.
537
00:22:32,206 --> 00:22:34,344
I might not always be the same
person in your life,
538
00:22:34,413 --> 00:22:37,793
but I will always be in your
life.
539
00:22:40,275 --> 00:22:42,137
- What are you talking about?
540
00:22:42,206 --> 00:22:44,172
- The sign.
They're taking it down.
541
00:22:47,275 --> 00:22:49,517
- I'm just getting a bigger
one.
542
00:22:49,586 --> 00:22:51,103
- What?
543
00:22:51,172 --> 00:22:52,241
- [laughs]
544
00:22:52,310 --> 00:22:54,655
- Josh.
545
00:22:55,758 --> 00:22:57,206
- I'm not ready to give up yet.
546
00:22:57,275 --> 00:23:00,172
- ♪ And I want you to be ♪
547
00:23:00,241 --> 00:23:03,758
♪ For the next few hundred
years ♪
548
00:23:03,827 --> 00:23:07,137
♪ With me ♪
549
00:23:07,187 --> 00:23:11,737
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