Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,150 --> 00:00:05,359
All right. Shh.
2
00:00:05,360 --> 00:00:06,559
I don't want to wake up Maggie.
3
00:00:06,560 --> 00:00:07,979
I can't find my shirt.
4
00:00:07,980 --> 00:00:09,819
Well, it's not a proper walk of shame
5
00:00:09,820 --> 00:00:12,149
unless you've lost some
clothes and some self-respect.
6
00:00:12,150 --> 00:00:14,119
Are you slut-shaming me right now?
7
00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:16,490
- Yes. Yes, I am.
- Yeah?
8
00:00:19,490 --> 00:00:22,409
[clattering] Oh.
9
00:00:22,410 --> 00:00:25,049
[gasps] What are you doing?
10
00:00:25,050 --> 00:00:26,379
He's taking out the trash.
11
00:00:26,380 --> 00:00:28,169
That's not the trash. That's my art.
12
00:00:28,170 --> 00:00:29,419
I'm sorry.
13
00:00:29,420 --> 00:00:31,000
(Liza) Maggie, you remember Josh?
14
00:00:31,010 --> 00:00:32,419
I do. Good morning, Josh.
15
00:00:32,420 --> 00:00:33,889
All right, well...
16
00:00:33,890 --> 00:00:35,139
I will call you later.
17
00:00:35,140 --> 00:00:37,090
Okay.
18
00:00:37,100 --> 00:00:38,680
I'm sorry, again.
19
00:00:41,180 --> 00:00:42,569
You snuck a boy in?
20
00:00:42,570 --> 00:00:44,569
No, I walked him in. I was sneaking him out.
21
00:00:44,570 --> 00:00:46,519
Am I not allowed to have
boys spend the night?
22
00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:48,350
No, I've never even thought about it.
23
00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:49,739
I mean, how about
24
00:00:49,740 --> 00:00:51,659
you're not allowed to
have boys spend the night
25
00:00:51,660 --> 00:00:53,859
who trash my art... Sound good?
26
00:00:53,860 --> 00:00:55,359
Fair enough.
27
00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:57,499
These actually still might work.
28
00:00:57,500 --> 00:00:59,779
I'm transforming old perfume bottles
29
00:00:59,780 --> 00:01:00,750
into beer bottles.
30
00:01:00,751 --> 00:01:02,699
It's part of my new show called
31
00:01:02,700 --> 00:01:05,709
Deceptive Intentions:
Reconstructing Gender Norms.
32
00:01:05,710 --> 00:01:06,920
Or Bitches Brew.
33
00:01:06,930 --> 00:01:08,039
I haven't decided yet.
34
00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:09,679
I didn't know you had a show next month.
35
00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:11,090
Well, I haven't had time to tell you
36
00:01:11,100 --> 00:01:13,259
because you're so busy living your fabulous,
37
00:01:13,260 --> 00:01:14,460
new, 26-year-old life.
38
00:01:14,470 --> 00:01:15,719
[laughs] Fabulous.
39
00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:17,299
I'm tired all the time.
40
00:01:17,300 --> 00:01:19,099
I'm either out partying or having sex and...
41
00:01:19,100 --> 00:01:20,300
- Oh.
- Yeah. All right.
42
00:01:20,310 --> 00:01:21,550
Yeah, I realized as soon as I said that
43
00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:22,719
I wasn't gonna get much sympathy.
44
00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:23,889
I feel like I saw more of you
45
00:01:23,890 --> 00:01:25,309
when you lived in New Jersey.
46
00:01:25,310 --> 00:01:26,609
Why don't we do something tonight?
47
00:01:26,610 --> 00:01:28,029
Well, there's this new young artist
48
00:01:28,030 --> 00:01:29,309
premiering at my gallery,
49
00:01:29,310 --> 00:01:30,810
and I need to show up to be supportive.
50
00:01:30,820 --> 00:01:32,479
It's gonna be awful. Come with me.
51
00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:33,949
I'm in. You sold me.
52
00:01:33,950 --> 00:01:36,400
Let's make sure to get a
crappy meal beforehand too.
53
00:01:39,790 --> 00:01:42,709
I need you to be on your game today, Liza.
54
00:01:42,710 --> 00:01:44,990
And then raise your same
several levels to my game.
55
00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:46,249
Do you think you can do that?
56
00:01:46,250 --> 00:01:47,749
- Uh...
- Just try to keep up.
57
00:01:47,750 --> 00:01:49,579
Charles has scheduled a meeting,
58
00:01:49,580 --> 00:01:51,580
and I've heard it is about repackaging.
59
00:01:51,590 --> 00:01:53,969
And do you know who is
in charge of repackaging?
60
00:01:53,970 --> 00:01:55,389
- Us.
- Me.
61
00:01:55,390 --> 00:01:58,339
And perhaps, if the client is big enough,
62
00:01:58,340 --> 00:01:59,729
Charles too.
63
00:01:59,730 --> 00:02:01,809
We may even have to work some late nights.
64
00:02:01,810 --> 00:02:02,810
Do you like him?
65
00:02:02,811 --> 00:02:04,479
He is a married man, Liza.
66
00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:07,099
But an attractive straight man
in a publishing house is rare.
67
00:02:07,100 --> 00:02:10,099
It's like finding Louboutins at a yard sale.
68
00:02:10,100 --> 00:02:12,769
Plus I heard a rumor his
marriage is on the rocks.
69
00:02:12,770 --> 00:02:14,520
So we are going into that conference room
70
00:02:14,530 --> 00:02:15,779
for that meeting.
71
00:02:15,780 --> 00:02:18,409
I need you to take detailed notes.
72
00:02:18,410 --> 00:02:19,950
I plan on being distracted.
73
00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:24,030
So Hollywood is finally starting to recognize
74
00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:25,330
Chinua Achebe's work,
75
00:02:25,340 --> 00:02:27,039
and we are in discussions with the estate
76
00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:30,170
for the rights to reissue
and repackage the book
77
00:02:30,180 --> 00:02:32,629
to accompany the film release.
78
00:02:32,630 --> 00:02:35,129
[groans] I'm dying.
79
00:02:35,130 --> 00:02:36,349
What's wrong?
80
00:02:36,350 --> 00:02:37,799
My Goddess Cup is stuck.
81
00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:39,019
It feels like it's launching
82
00:02:39,020 --> 00:02:41,299
unsanctioned air strikes on my cervix.
83
00:02:41,300 --> 00:02:43,269
What's a Goddess Cup?
84
00:02:43,270 --> 00:02:46,269
Like, a menstrual accoutrement.
85
00:02:46,270 --> 00:02:48,809
You know, it's like a
tampon, but eco-friendly.
86
00:02:48,810 --> 00:02:50,390
It sits up inside your stuff like a...
87
00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:51,729
Like a diaphragm?
88
00:02:51,730 --> 00:02:53,810
What's a diaphragm?
89
00:02:53,820 --> 00:02:55,649
I can't. I have got to go.
90
00:02:55,650 --> 00:02:56,650
[groans]
91
00:02:56,651 --> 00:02:58,480
(Charles) The nun plays the role.
92
00:02:59,870 --> 00:03:03,289
Wow, this message board is
filled with angry emojis.
93
00:03:03,290 --> 00:03:04,709
Apparently this happens a lot.
94
00:03:04,710 --> 00:03:07,079
Okay... okay, okay, okay. Here we go.
95
00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:10,159
If you orgasm, the contractions
will release the cup.
96
00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:12,219
Orgasm? I'm at work.
97
00:03:12,220 --> 00:03:14,169
I can talk you through it.
98
00:03:14,170 --> 00:03:15,330
Kelsey?
99
00:03:15,340 --> 00:03:16,920
I'm back here.
100
00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:21,259
- Are you okay?
- No.
101
00:03:21,260 --> 00:03:22,509
It's still up there.
102
00:03:22,510 --> 00:03:24,559
Clearly I have a huge vagina.
103
00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:26,229
I'm not sure why I bother carrying a purse.
104
00:03:26,230 --> 00:03:28,560
(girl on phone) Hey, I knew
a girl who got a tampon stuck
105
00:03:28,570 --> 00:03:30,149
and she had to go to the walk-in clinic.
106
00:03:30,150 --> 00:03:33,319
Weeks later, she was convinced
a rat had died in her apartment,
107
00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:34,769
but it was just her.
108
00:03:34,770 --> 00:03:38,159
It turns out, the clinic
only removed half the tampon.
109
00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:40,029
That's a cute story.
110
00:03:40,030 --> 00:03:41,240
Liza,
111
00:03:41,250 --> 00:03:42,499
I'm gonna need your help.
112
00:03:42,500 --> 00:03:44,410
Okay, what can I do?
113
00:03:44,420 --> 00:03:45,869
I need you to lock the door,
114
00:03:45,870 --> 00:03:48,369
and I need you to wash your hands.
115
00:03:48,370 --> 00:03:50,789
I wouldn't ask, but it's an emergency, okay?
116
00:03:50,790 --> 00:03:52,870
I'm going on, like, 14 hours here.
117
00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:56,429
Damn it.
118
00:03:56,430 --> 00:03:59,549
(woman)
Check it in, check it
out, show them what you got
119
00:03:59,550 --> 00:04:02,179
What the are you all about?
120
00:04:02,180 --> 00:04:03,379
What the
121
00:04:03,380 --> 00:04:04,599
Thank you.
122
00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:06,220
We will never speak of this again.
123
00:04:08,220 --> 00:04:09,719
Liza.
124
00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:11,639
You are the real deal.
125
00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:14,890
Anything you ever need, ever,
126
00:04:14,900 --> 00:04:16,810
I got you.
127
00:04:20,790 --> 00:04:22,289
I'm so sorry. I was in the bathroom.
128
00:04:22,290 --> 00:04:23,869
Spare me the details.
129
00:04:23,870 --> 00:04:26,039
Charles wants to get together
and talk about this repackaging,
130
00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:27,709
so I volunteered to meet him over lunch.
131
00:04:27,710 --> 00:04:29,239
Oh, are you going out?
132
00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:31,909
No, we're eating in here.
It's a work lunch, Liza.
133
00:04:31,910 --> 00:04:34,129
Quick question.
134
00:04:34,130 --> 00:04:37,919
When I put my chin in my
hand, do I look riveted?
135
00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:41,339
Or like I'm holding a
pastry bag of chin skin?
136
00:04:41,340 --> 00:04:42,639
I'm so sorry.
137
00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:44,670
I was distracted by this prestigious award
138
00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:46,479
from the London lit fair on your desk.
139
00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:48,309
2012. Bad year for books.
140
00:04:48,310 --> 00:04:49,509
Good year for trout.
141
00:04:49,510 --> 00:04:50,899
Now, lunch.
142
00:04:50,900 --> 00:04:53,019
I want you to get the
specials from Betony on 57th.
143
00:04:53,020 --> 00:04:54,769
And I want them hot, so take the car service.
144
00:04:54,770 --> 00:04:56,149
Empirical has a car service?
145
00:04:56,150 --> 00:04:57,769
Only for work emergencies.
146
00:04:57,770 --> 00:05:00,019
It's an emergency.
147
00:05:00,020 --> 00:05:02,359
(woman)
Doing that thing I love
148
00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:03,940
Can't get enough
149
00:05:03,950 --> 00:05:05,909
That thing you got
150
00:05:05,910 --> 00:05:07,660
You know I want it, baby
151
00:05:07,670 --> 00:05:09,499
Doing that thing I love
152
00:05:09,500 --> 00:05:11,119
Can't get enough
153
00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:15,200
What you need is a
woman who can understand
154
00:05:15,210 --> 00:05:18,620
I heard you knock at my door
155
00:05:18,630 --> 00:05:21,290
Watch me open up
156
00:05:21,300 --> 00:05:23,130
Oh
157
00:05:25,350 --> 00:05:26,769
But I am...
158
00:05:26,770 --> 00:05:29,639
I am really excited about this repackage.
159
00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:31,300
Have you read Achebe?
160
00:05:31,310 --> 00:05:32,859
I'm sure I have.
161
00:05:32,860 --> 00:05:35,520
Yeah, Things Fall Apart is
one of my favorite books.
162
00:05:35,530 --> 00:05:38,190
I actually think it's required
reading, now, in high school.
163
00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:39,699
It is.
164
00:05:39,700 --> 00:05:41,029
Oh, yeah. Have you read it?
165
00:05:41,030 --> 00:05:42,479
Yeah, I read the entire trilogy.
166
00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:43,649
I couldn't put it down.
167
00:05:43,650 --> 00:05:45,949
Yes, the trilogy is groundbreaking.
168
00:05:45,950 --> 00:05:47,869
Oh, so you have read Achebe.
169
00:05:47,870 --> 00:05:50,409
What's your favorite?
170
00:05:50,410 --> 00:05:51,709
Of the trilogy?
171
00:05:51,710 --> 00:05:53,830
Oh, well, um...
172
00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:57,800
Probably the second book.
173
00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:00,249
No Longer at Ease...
174
00:06:00,250 --> 00:06:01,630
Then put the box down.
175
00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:03,169
Is a great title for the second book,
176
00:06:03,170 --> 00:06:04,500
don't you think?
177
00:06:04,510 --> 00:06:07,089
(Liza) About a man caught between two worlds.
178
00:06:07,090 --> 00:06:09,839
Adiche's Americanah comes close
to capturing that experience,
179
00:06:09,840 --> 00:06:12,429
but nothing measures up to Achebe.
180
00:06:12,430 --> 00:06:14,679
You're very well-read. I'm impressed.
181
00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:16,319
You know what I'm not impressed with
182
00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:17,519
is the state of this cod.
183
00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:20,019
It's freezing.
184
00:06:20,020 --> 00:06:23,689
Take that on your way out.
185
00:06:23,690 --> 00:06:25,860
Thank you.
186
00:06:27,910 --> 00:06:29,780
(Diana) I'm ecstatic.
187
00:06:31,370 --> 00:06:34,869
Yes, absolutely. Okay.
188
00:06:34,870 --> 00:06:37,619
[chuckles softly]
189
00:06:37,620 --> 00:06:39,419
Don't you ever book-drop like that again.
190
00:06:39,420 --> 00:06:40,870
I was only trying to help.
191
00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:42,879
You were insinuating that I am bad at my job.
192
00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:44,879
I will have you know that I
am the hardest worker here.
193
00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:46,759
When these lightweights
go on vacation, I work;
194
00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:48,879
while you were Instagramming
your way through India,
195
00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:50,349
I was working; and before that,
196
00:06:50,350 --> 00:06:52,349
when you were vaporizing
on the quad at Dartmouth,
197
00:06:52,350 --> 00:06:53,850
developing your fondness
for African literature,
198
00:06:53,860 --> 00:06:55,439
do you know where I was?
199
00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:58,220
- I'm gonna say at work?
- And don't you forget it.
200
00:07:01,110 --> 00:07:03,399
Whoo.
201
00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:05,610
Let's go get a drink tonight. I owe you one.
202
00:07:05,620 --> 00:07:06,949
I might need a week before I can even
203
00:07:06,950 --> 00:07:08,149
look at you again.
204
00:07:08,150 --> 00:07:09,699
Besides, I can't tonight.
205
00:07:09,700 --> 00:07:11,539
I'm going to an art show with my roommate.
206
00:07:11,540 --> 00:07:14,570
Ew, that old lady you met on Craigslist?
207
00:07:14,580 --> 00:07:16,539
- I'll rescue you.
- No, no, no. It's okay.
208
00:07:16,540 --> 00:07:17,829
We probably won't stay long.
209
00:07:17,830 --> 00:07:19,209
It's supposed to be really bad.
210
00:07:19,210 --> 00:07:20,249
Not if I come.
211
00:07:20,250 --> 00:07:21,829
I'll bring my friends. It'll be fun.
212
00:07:21,830 --> 00:07:23,419
No, it's okay. I...
213
00:07:23,420 --> 00:07:25,170
This is happening.
214
00:07:32,340 --> 00:07:34,089
So Kelsey's coming to this show?
215
00:07:34,090 --> 00:07:36,419
Yeah, she sort of invited herself.
216
00:07:36,420 --> 00:07:37,759
It'll be fine.
217
00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:39,339
Or weird.
218
00:07:39,340 --> 00:07:42,009
You know, you and me hanging out is just...
219
00:07:42,010 --> 00:07:43,809
I'm just worried she's gonna think I'm...
220
00:07:43,810 --> 00:07:46,010
- Gay?
- Old... er.
221
00:07:46,020 --> 00:07:48,149
Don't worry... I promise
not to blow your cover.
222
00:07:48,150 --> 00:07:49,569
I'll just be your roommate.
223
00:07:49,570 --> 00:07:50,769
Your older roommate.
224
00:07:50,770 --> 00:07:52,150
Who I found on Craigslist.
225
00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:53,150
Craigslist?
226
00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:54,609
Why are you hanging out with me?
227
00:07:54,610 --> 00:07:56,070
'Cause you're cool.
228
00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:58,079
You're my cool older roommate
I found on Craigslist.
229
00:07:58,080 --> 00:07:59,279
I am cool.
230
00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:00,779
I lived in Williamsburg before it's all
231
00:08:00,780 --> 00:08:02,279
rich kids on unicycles.
232
00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:04,830
I was your coolest friend, remember?
233
00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:07,249
You were the one... The
housewife from New Jersey
234
00:08:07,250 --> 00:08:09,500
who went to book club and
drank Tequila Mockingbirds.
235
00:08:09,510 --> 00:08:11,009
That is a delicious cocktail.
236
00:08:11,010 --> 00:08:12,789
And that book club helped me
impress my publisher today,
237
00:08:12,790 --> 00:08:14,429
so I'm grateful to them.
238
00:08:14,430 --> 00:08:16,709
Yeah, we should've thrown
back a couple of cocktails,
239
00:08:16,710 --> 00:08:18,210
'cause this is gonna be rough.
240
00:08:18,220 --> 00:08:20,049
I mean, we might be the only people there.
241
00:08:20,050 --> 00:08:23,130
[people chattering]
242
00:08:24,940 --> 00:08:26,300
Wow.
243
00:08:27,970 --> 00:08:30,109
- Ready?
- Mm.
244
00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:33,309
[Friends theme song playing]
245
00:08:33,310 --> 00:08:41,240
246
00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:48,959
I can't tell. Is this good?
247
00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:49,990
No.
248
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:51,209
You know, this is so depressing.
249
00:08:51,210 --> 00:08:52,629
My first show... The only people that came
250
00:08:52,630 --> 00:08:54,169
were my mom and my psycho ex-girlfriend
251
00:08:54,170 --> 00:08:56,330
and Phil, the gallery owner,
who's standing over there.
252
00:08:56,340 --> 00:08:58,469
Look at him. Look at him.
He's smiling. He never smiles.
253
00:08:58,470 --> 00:09:00,339
(Liza) He shouldn't. His gums are too big.
254
00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:02,509
Almost 20 years married to a dentist.
255
00:09:02,510 --> 00:09:04,179
- You notice.
- No.
256
00:09:04,180 --> 00:09:06,509
(Liza) Oh, look... oh, there's
Kelsey and her friends.
257
00:09:06,510 --> 00:09:08,510
Oh, wow, it's like observing
flamingos in nature...
258
00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:10,819
Bright, colorful, and their heads all bent
259
00:09:10,820 --> 00:09:12,480
at an uncomfortable angle.
260
00:09:12,490 --> 00:09:13,899
Hey.
261
00:09:13,900 --> 00:09:15,150
(Kelsey) Hey.
262
00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:16,319
(Liza) Okay, here we go.
263
00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:18,019
Remember... no references before 1990.
264
00:09:18,020 --> 00:09:19,439
There goes all my material.
265
00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:22,859
Hey! Hi.
266
00:09:22,860 --> 00:09:24,699
You remember Lauren. This is Jess.
267
00:09:24,700 --> 00:09:25,999
This exhibit's amazing.
268
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,669
Yeah, I'm definitely amazed.
269
00:09:27,670 --> 00:09:30,030
Oh, this is my roommate, Maggie.
270
00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:31,369
She's also repped by the gallery.
271
00:09:31,370 --> 00:09:33,200
You're an artist too? That's cool.
272
00:09:33,210 --> 00:09:36,370
Apparently not as cool as that guy
273
00:09:36,380 --> 00:09:38,259
talking to Carol Vogel from the Times,
274
00:09:38,260 --> 00:09:40,759
and bro-nodding to Don and Mera Rubell,
275
00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:42,879
the biggest art collectors in the country.
276
00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:44,219
Screw me sideways.
277
00:09:44,220 --> 00:09:45,930
Oh, my God. That's the artist?
278
00:09:45,940 --> 00:09:48,189
- I love a guy in a high bun.
- Me too. Dibs.
279
00:09:48,190 --> 00:09:50,219
- That guy?
- Yeah, he's way more my type.
280
00:09:50,220 --> 00:09:51,809
Really? You're already in two
281
00:09:51,810 --> 00:09:53,559
undefined relationships right now, so...
282
00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:55,229
Define "undefined."
283
00:09:55,230 --> 00:09:57,449
Christ, I mean, it's like trying
to talk to a loose balloon.
284
00:09:57,450 --> 00:09:59,399
No, they can be focused...
When they're tweeting.
285
00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:01,229
Yeah, I'm sure. You hang with the flamingos.
286
00:10:01,230 --> 00:10:03,230
I'm gonna go try to schmooze
Phil for two seconds.
287
00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:05,070
- All right?
- Okay. Okay.
288
00:10:08,460 --> 00:10:11,039
I am ret to go.
289
00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:12,379
Yeah, I'm done.
290
00:10:12,380 --> 00:10:14,079
Can we blow off Craigslist Maggie
291
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:16,549
and go get a drink already?
292
00:10:16,550 --> 00:10:18,830
One sec.
293
00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:20,799
Hey, how goes the requisite schmoozing?
294
00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:22,089
Phil can't seem to break away
295
00:10:22,090 --> 00:10:23,759
from his hipster harem and talk to me.
296
00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:24,970
I mean, my show's in a month
297
00:10:24,980 --> 00:10:26,670
and not even a mention of my work.
298
00:10:26,680 --> 00:10:28,139
He's gonna hear about this.
299
00:10:28,140 --> 00:10:30,140
Are you sure you want to
go Mad Maggie on Phil?
300
00:10:30,150 --> 00:10:31,509
He's still sort of your boss.
301
00:10:31,510 --> 00:10:34,019
Out of my control. I need
to release the beast.
302
00:10:34,020 --> 00:10:35,769
Okay, well, the girls want to go get a drink,
303
00:10:35,770 --> 00:10:37,319
so do you want to meet us, or...
304
00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:38,900
I can't be with the girls
right now, all right?
305
00:10:38,910 --> 00:10:40,150
I got to talk to Phil.
306
00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:41,989
If you want me to wait, I'll wait.
307
00:10:41,990 --> 00:10:43,270
Just go. It's okay.
308
00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:45,409
Liza, let's go.
309
00:10:45,410 --> 00:10:46,940
- Okay. Call me?
- All right.
310
00:10:46,950 --> 00:10:48,530
I'll tell you where we are, okay?
311
00:10:56,260 --> 00:10:59,620
Is Craigslist Maggie, like,
your mentor or something?
312
00:10:59,630 --> 00:11:01,129
Why would she be her mentor?
313
00:11:01,130 --> 00:11:03,090
Yeah, I don't know why else
she would hang out with her.
314
00:11:03,100 --> 00:11:06,549
It's just nice to have an older,
wiser person around sometimes.
315
00:11:06,550 --> 00:11:09,799
Oh, yes, yes. That is how I feel about Siri.
316
00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:12,890
Siri, hey, what is sadness?
317
00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:15,470
Oh, my God.
318
00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:17,639
The Friends guy just texted me.
319
00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:20,529
- Wait, the artist?
- No, Chandler Bing.
320
00:11:20,530 --> 00:11:22,360
- Yes, the artist.
- I called dibs on him, Jess.
321
00:11:22,370 --> 00:11:23,819
You can't give your number to a guy
322
00:11:23,820 --> 00:11:25,449
your friend called dibs on.
323
00:11:25,450 --> 00:11:27,449
- That is girl code.
- She's right. That's girl code.
324
00:11:27,450 --> 00:11:29,039
Yeah, and from my understanding,
325
00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:31,159
dibs is a binding verbal contract.
326
00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:32,989
Fine, we will have a three-way.
327
00:11:32,990 --> 00:11:34,489
That's your answer for everything.
328
00:11:34,490 --> 00:11:36,740
Well, you claim to be 60% gay.
329
00:11:36,750 --> 00:11:38,710
Not for you.
330
00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:40,919
Hey, you know what? No more texting.
331
00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:42,420
Cell stack.
332
00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:46,339
I would like to make a toast
333
00:11:46,340 --> 00:11:47,669
to Liza Miller,
334
00:11:47,670 --> 00:11:49,339
the Goddess Cup Extractor.
335
00:11:49,340 --> 00:11:50,389
[snickering]
336
00:11:50,390 --> 00:11:52,590
Not afraid to just reach up in there,
337
00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:54,599
bare-handed, like a mechanic.
338
00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:57,519
Glad I put a gag order on that incident.
339
00:11:57,520 --> 00:12:00,180
Sorry... it's kind of a big deal, though.
340
00:12:00,190 --> 00:12:02,850
Welcome to the inner circle, Liza.
341
00:12:02,860 --> 00:12:04,520
Friends for life.
342
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,859
For at least the next 13 years.
343
00:12:08,860 --> 00:12:10,279
She's taking herself out at 39.
344
00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:11,860
Mm-hmm, the beginning of the end,
345
00:12:11,870 --> 00:12:13,410
when gravity starts winning.
346
00:12:13,420 --> 00:12:14,829
And you have to buy a one-piece
347
00:12:14,830 --> 00:12:16,280
because your abs start disappearing
348
00:12:16,290 --> 00:12:17,699
under your giant foopa.
349
00:12:17,700 --> 00:12:19,539
[laughter]
350
00:12:19,540 --> 00:12:21,619
And your metabolism just shits the bed.
351
00:12:21,620 --> 00:12:24,379
[laughter]
352
00:12:24,380 --> 00:12:26,590
To strong women.
353
00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:28,099
Ride or die.
354
00:12:28,100 --> 00:12:29,960
Big booty hoes.
355
00:12:29,970 --> 00:12:32,549
Salud.
356
00:12:32,550 --> 00:12:33,799
Bitches!
357
00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:36,890
[all cheering and laughing]
358
00:12:38,780 --> 00:12:40,220
[gurgles]
359
00:12:40,230 --> 00:12:42,059
[cheers and laughter]
360
00:12:42,060 --> 00:12:44,559
[phone vibrating]
361
00:12:44,560 --> 00:12:46,700
- I'm gonna do two.
- Yeah!
362
00:12:51,540 --> 00:12:53,570
[groans]
363
00:13:00,550 --> 00:13:04,379
[gulping]
364
00:13:04,380 --> 00:13:06,719
What's going on? I called you so many times.
365
00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:08,839
I'm so sorry. I couldn't pick up my phone.
366
00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:10,559
But I'm fine.
367
00:13:10,560 --> 00:13:11,970
Whoa, did you barf?
368
00:13:11,980 --> 00:13:13,339
[laughs] No.
369
00:13:13,340 --> 00:13:14,559
I went to a shawarma cart.
370
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:17,559
I was really drunk. I still kind of am.
371
00:13:17,560 --> 00:13:19,260
But guess what.
372
00:13:19,270 --> 00:13:21,479
I'm part of a crew now.
373
00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:23,819
I have bitches, Maggie, and we rule.
374
00:13:23,820 --> 00:13:25,519
How exciting for you.
375
00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:27,569
I got into a huge fight with Phil.
376
00:13:27,570 --> 00:13:28,770
Phil.
377
00:13:28,780 --> 00:13:29,989
With his big, puffy smile.
378
00:13:29,990 --> 00:13:31,529
A gum recontouring is what he needs.
379
00:13:31,530 --> 00:13:32,530
[phone beeps]
380
00:13:32,531 --> 00:13:34,109
I kept on pushing him to explain
381
00:13:34,110 --> 00:13:36,610
why there is absolutely
no mention of my show.
382
00:13:36,620 --> 00:13:38,919
[laughs]
383
00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:40,280
Kelsey and I,
384
00:13:40,290 --> 00:13:42,589
we made a middle-aged murder pact.
385
00:13:42,590 --> 00:13:44,709
We're gonna kill each
other before we turn 40.
386
00:13:44,710 --> 00:13:46,170
She just texted me... [laughs]
387
00:13:46,180 --> 00:13:47,839
"Poison my Ensure."
388
00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:49,129
[chuckles]
389
00:13:49,130 --> 00:13:51,129
Who are you right now?
390
00:13:51,130 --> 00:13:52,629
What? No.
391
00:13:52,630 --> 00:13:56,269
Are you Mad Maggie that I
stayed out late with my crew?
392
00:13:56,270 --> 00:13:58,689
Well, Phil cancelled my show
393
00:13:58,690 --> 00:14:02,520
and dropped me from the gallery.
394
00:14:02,530 --> 00:14:04,730
Have a great rest of your night, yo.
395
00:14:09,650 --> 00:14:11,070
[door slams]
396
00:14:31,490 --> 00:14:33,770
Hi. I made some coffee.
397
00:14:33,780 --> 00:14:35,379
And I know you don't eat breakfast,
398
00:14:35,380 --> 00:14:38,079
but if you're feeling
hungrier than you are angry,
399
00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:40,079
I have some toast here...
I could butter it up,
400
00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:41,749
sprinkle on a little cinnamon and sugar.
401
00:14:41,750 --> 00:14:43,380
It's like eating a hug.
402
00:14:43,390 --> 00:14:46,500
I'm not hungry.
403
00:14:56,070 --> 00:14:57,849
This came out good.
404
00:14:57,850 --> 00:14:59,269
Wow, it's really beautiful, Maggie.
405
00:14:59,270 --> 00:15:01,769
I won't be needing it anymore. I got dropped.
406
00:15:01,770 --> 00:15:03,189
[smashing]
407
00:15:03,190 --> 00:15:05,109
I'm never gonna find
another gallery at this age.
408
00:15:05,110 --> 00:15:07,189
I completely understand
what you're going through.
409
00:15:07,190 --> 00:15:09,029
No, you don't... You're completely obsessed
410
00:15:09,030 --> 00:15:10,490
with living this 26-year-old life.
411
00:15:10,500 --> 00:15:12,829
Maggie, me passing as younger was your idea.
412
00:15:12,830 --> 00:15:15,119
Yeah, to find a job, not a crew,
413
00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:17,699
or some Tiger Beat cover of a boyfriend.
414
00:15:17,700 --> 00:15:19,119
He's actually very mature.
415
00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:20,919
- I needed that show, Liza.
- I know.
416
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,459
Do you? Yeah, I don't know what you know
417
00:15:22,460 --> 00:15:24,420
and what you've completely forgotten.
418
00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:38,809
[groans]
419
00:15:38,810 --> 00:15:40,439
Ooh.
420
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:41,639
You look bad.
421
00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:42,979
Why don't you?
422
00:15:42,980 --> 00:15:45,359
I had a space cake and a
melatonin before bed...
423
00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:46,860
Best hangover cure.
424
00:15:46,870 --> 00:15:48,229
Last night was so much fun.
425
00:15:48,230 --> 00:15:50,319
Oh, my God, do that Cher impression again.
426
00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:51,320
It was hilarious.
427
00:15:51,321 --> 00:15:52,900
You were at the shawarma cart like,
428
00:15:52,910 --> 00:15:55,539
Chicken, lamb, or beef?
429
00:15:55,540 --> 00:15:57,620
[groans] I'm such a jerk.
430
00:15:57,630 --> 00:16:00,159
Wait, what's wrong?
431
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:01,999
Maggie got dropped by the gallery.
432
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:03,249
And I wasn't there for her.
433
00:16:03,250 --> 00:16:05,799
I was out annoying a hot meat vendor.
434
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:08,249
Liza, she's just your roommate.
435
00:16:08,250 --> 00:16:10,469
I mean, it's awful that she
got dropped from the gallery,
436
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,720
but don't be so hard on yourself.
437
00:16:12,730 --> 00:16:14,260
Liza.
438
00:16:16,430 --> 00:16:17,590
Shut the door.
439
00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:21,849
Is everything okay?
440
00:16:21,850 --> 00:16:23,349
I'd say so.
441
00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:24,739
The rumors are true.
442
00:16:24,740 --> 00:16:26,019
Charles is getting divorced.
443
00:16:26,020 --> 00:16:27,400
How do you know that?
444
00:16:27,410 --> 00:16:29,359
His doorman is friends with my dog walker.
445
00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:31,829
That's why it's important to
stay down with the people.
446
00:16:31,830 --> 00:16:33,359
Wow, divorce. That's rough.
447
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:35,199
So is dating in your 40s and inheriting
448
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:36,529
your grandmother's Welsh calves.
449
00:16:36,530 --> 00:16:39,949
Yeah, but a divorce and
going through it alone.
450
00:16:39,950 --> 00:16:41,669
- I can't imagine.
- Exactly.
451
00:16:41,670 --> 00:16:43,700
He's gonna need someone to be there for him.
452
00:16:43,710 --> 00:16:45,089
Yeah, he definitely will.
453
00:16:45,090 --> 00:16:46,709
Someone to deal with how crazy he acts
454
00:16:46,710 --> 00:16:47,959
and how selfish he becomes.
455
00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:49,540
Someone to be the adult when he's being
456
00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:50,959
totally irresponsible.
457
00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:53,799
I'm hoping we can be irresponsible together.
458
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:55,049
What he probably needs
459
00:16:55,050 --> 00:16:56,930
is someone supportive and grounded.
460
00:16:56,940 --> 00:16:58,519
Or open and rebounding.
461
00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:00,050
It's a tricky time.
462
00:17:02,220 --> 00:17:05,559
Schedule me a wax appointment with Dorota.
463
00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:07,890
Uptown and downtown.
464
00:17:09,650 --> 00:17:11,619
Do you know what I mean
when I say "downtown"?
465
00:17:11,620 --> 00:17:13,070
You do. Okay. Okay.
466
00:17:15,900 --> 00:17:17,319
(Liza) Maggie's my friend.
467
00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:19,289
I mean, technically, she's my roommate, yes.
468
00:17:19,290 --> 00:17:20,789
But she's also my friend.
469
00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:23,740
She's been there for me when no one else has.
470
00:17:23,750 --> 00:17:25,049
Well, if she's your girl,
471
00:17:25,050 --> 00:17:26,579
then you got to figure out a way to help her.
472
00:17:26,580 --> 00:17:28,419
I'd love to find someone to beat up Phil,
473
00:17:28,420 --> 00:17:29,919
the gallery owner.
474
00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:31,669
I think I could do it, but
I don't want to get caught.
475
00:17:31,670 --> 00:17:33,919
We'll come up with something
a little less gangster.
476
00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:35,219
Oh, you don't have to get involved.
477
00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:36,559
Of course I do... If you're close
478
00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:38,759
with Craigslist Maggie, then so am I.
479
00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:41,090
It's girl code.
480
00:17:41,100 --> 00:17:42,599
Well, she has all this great work
481
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:44,260
and nowhere to show it.
482
00:17:44,270 --> 00:17:46,269
Maybe I could find her a new gallery.
483
00:17:46,270 --> 00:17:48,239
I might actually have something.
484
00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:49,739
Could you get her downtown after work?
485
00:17:49,740 --> 00:17:51,859
Downtown? I can't even get
her to answer her phone.
486
00:17:51,860 --> 00:17:53,820
I don't know how I'm gonna get her downtown.
487
00:17:53,830 --> 00:17:55,189
[phone beeps]
488
00:17:55,190 --> 00:17:56,360
Sorry.
489
00:18:02,420 --> 00:18:03,920
I have an idea.
490
00:18:08,370 --> 00:18:11,290
[horn honking]
491
00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:14,920
[honking continues]
492
00:18:14,930 --> 00:18:18,090
[opera music playing]
493
00:18:18,100 --> 00:18:21,710
494
00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:23,049
What the hell are you doing?
495
00:18:23,050 --> 00:18:24,930
Trying to win you back.
496
00:18:24,940 --> 00:18:27,250
Maggie, without you, I'd be back in Jersey,
497
00:18:27,260 --> 00:18:28,800
drinking Bridget Jones's Daiquiris
498
00:18:28,810 --> 00:18:30,559
with my book club.
499
00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:32,309
I owe you my life,
500
00:18:32,310 --> 00:18:34,690
my annoying, 26-year-old life.
501
00:18:34,700 --> 00:18:36,229
502
00:18:36,230 --> 00:18:38,229
I'm so sorry I wasn't
there for you last night.
503
00:18:38,230 --> 00:18:40,780
I've been completely caught up
in these new relationships...
504
00:18:40,790 --> 00:18:42,030
I know it.
505
00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:43,869
It's hard to make new friends.
506
00:18:43,870 --> 00:18:46,069
It's harder to lose old ones.
507
00:18:46,070 --> 00:18:49,409
Well, technically, you're old too.
508
00:18:49,410 --> 00:18:50,909
509
00:18:50,910 --> 00:18:52,290
And you're not losing me.
510
00:18:52,300 --> 00:18:54,460
511
00:18:54,470 --> 00:18:56,549
I can't believe you Pretty Woman-ed me.
512
00:18:56,550 --> 00:18:57,969
I can't believe I'm Richard Gere
513
00:18:57,970 --> 00:18:59,419
and you're Julia Roberts.
514
00:18:59,420 --> 00:19:01,419
I always thought it'd
be the other way around.
515
00:19:01,420 --> 00:19:02,809
[laughs]
516
00:19:02,810 --> 00:19:04,170
Come down here. I have a surprise.
517
00:19:04,180 --> 00:19:06,389
All right. All right. Give me a minute.
518
00:19:06,390 --> 00:19:09,060
519
00:19:22,690 --> 00:19:23,909
What is this place?
520
00:19:23,910 --> 00:19:25,749
You'll see.
521
00:19:25,750 --> 00:19:28,279
Hey, guys. Come on in.
522
00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:30,279
Is Phil tied to a chair
with a gag in his mouth?
523
00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:31,749
No, that's already been vetoed.
524
00:19:31,750 --> 00:19:33,120
Oh.
525
00:19:35,010 --> 00:19:37,870
[techno music playing]
526
00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:41,879
Lights, lights, smoke machine.
527
00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:43,099
Drag queen.
528
00:19:43,100 --> 00:19:44,929
Some cheap wine, little plastic cups,
529
00:19:44,930 --> 00:19:46,879
and voila.
530
00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:48,430
Welcome to your pop-up gallery.
531
00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:50,189
See, you don't need Phil's gallery.
532
00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:52,139
You just need a space where
you can show your work.
533
00:19:52,140 --> 00:19:54,639
And our combined 7,000 Facebook friends.
534
00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:56,309
How did you find this place?
535
00:19:56,310 --> 00:19:58,140
Oh, I went to school with
this dude, Teddy Wong.
536
00:19:58,150 --> 00:19:59,559
His parents own the building.
537
00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:01,729
Anyway, I bring him weed
and he lets me use the space
538
00:20:01,730 --> 00:20:03,119
for parties or when I'm buying stuff
539
00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:04,819
from weird people off Craigslist.
540
00:20:04,820 --> 00:20:06,899
- No offense.
- None taken.
541
00:20:06,900 --> 00:20:08,539
Maggie, I looked up your work on Artnet,
542
00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:11,239
and it deserves to be
someplace really special.
543
00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:14,459
I love it. I can't believe
you guys did this for me.
544
00:20:14,460 --> 00:20:16,379
Any friend of Liza's. Come on.
545
00:20:16,380 --> 00:20:18,049
Not just any friend.
546
00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:19,719
My oldest friend.
547
00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:20,969
Yes, your oldest friend.
548
00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:22,839
[laughs]
549
00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:24,419
- Yay!
- Thanks, you guys.
550
00:20:24,420 --> 00:20:26,339
(Liza) Yay!
551
00:20:26,340 --> 00:20:28,340
?Synced & Corrected by Seppuku17?
?www.addic7ed.com?
552
00:20:28,390 --> 00:20:32,940
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
38702
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.