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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,150 --> 00:00:05,359 All right. Shh. 2 00:00:05,360 --> 00:00:06,559 I don't want to wake up Maggie. 3 00:00:06,560 --> 00:00:07,979 I can't find my shirt. 4 00:00:07,980 --> 00:00:09,819 Well, it's not a proper walk of shame 5 00:00:09,820 --> 00:00:12,149 unless you've lost some clothes and some self-respect. 6 00:00:12,150 --> 00:00:14,119 Are you slut-shaming me right now? 7 00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:16,490 - Yes. Yes, I am. - Yeah? 8 00:00:19,490 --> 00:00:22,409 [clattering] Oh. 9 00:00:22,410 --> 00:00:25,049 [gasps] What are you doing? 10 00:00:25,050 --> 00:00:26,379 He's taking out the trash. 11 00:00:26,380 --> 00:00:28,169 That's not the trash. That's my art. 12 00:00:28,170 --> 00:00:29,419 I'm sorry. 13 00:00:29,420 --> 00:00:31,000 (Liza) Maggie, you remember Josh? 14 00:00:31,010 --> 00:00:32,419 I do. Good morning, Josh. 15 00:00:32,420 --> 00:00:33,889 All right, well... 16 00:00:33,890 --> 00:00:35,139 I will call you later. 17 00:00:35,140 --> 00:00:37,090 Okay. 18 00:00:37,100 --> 00:00:38,680 I'm sorry, again. 19 00:00:41,180 --> 00:00:42,569 You snuck a boy in? 20 00:00:42,570 --> 00:00:44,569 No, I walked him in. I was sneaking him out. 21 00:00:44,570 --> 00:00:46,519 Am I not allowed to have boys spend the night? 22 00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:48,350 No, I've never even thought about it. 23 00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:49,739 I mean, how about 24 00:00:49,740 --> 00:00:51,659 you're not allowed to have boys spend the night 25 00:00:51,660 --> 00:00:53,859 who trash my art... Sound good? 26 00:00:53,860 --> 00:00:55,359 Fair enough. 27 00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:57,499 These actually still might work. 28 00:00:57,500 --> 00:00:59,779 I'm transforming old perfume bottles 29 00:00:59,780 --> 00:01:00,750 into beer bottles. 30 00:01:00,751 --> 00:01:02,699 It's part of my new show called 31 00:01:02,700 --> 00:01:05,709 Deceptive Intentions: Reconstructing Gender Norms. 32 00:01:05,710 --> 00:01:06,920 Or Bitches Brew. 33 00:01:06,930 --> 00:01:08,039 I haven't decided yet. 34 00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:09,679 I didn't know you had a show next month. 35 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:11,090 Well, I haven't had time to tell you 36 00:01:11,100 --> 00:01:13,259 because you're so busy living your fabulous, 37 00:01:13,260 --> 00:01:14,460 new, 26-year-old life. 38 00:01:14,470 --> 00:01:15,719 [laughs] Fabulous. 39 00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:17,299 I'm tired all the time. 40 00:01:17,300 --> 00:01:19,099 I'm either out partying or having sex and... 41 00:01:19,100 --> 00:01:20,300 - Oh. - Yeah. All right. 42 00:01:20,310 --> 00:01:21,550 Yeah, I realized as soon as I said that 43 00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:22,719 I wasn't gonna get much sympathy. 44 00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:23,889 I feel like I saw more of you 45 00:01:23,890 --> 00:01:25,309 when you lived in New Jersey. 46 00:01:25,310 --> 00:01:26,609 Why don't we do something tonight? 47 00:01:26,610 --> 00:01:28,029 Well, there's this new young artist 48 00:01:28,030 --> 00:01:29,309 premiering at my gallery, 49 00:01:29,310 --> 00:01:30,810 and I need to show up to be supportive. 50 00:01:30,820 --> 00:01:32,479 It's gonna be awful. Come with me. 51 00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:33,949 I'm in. You sold me. 52 00:01:33,950 --> 00:01:36,400 Let's make sure to get a crappy meal beforehand too. 53 00:01:39,790 --> 00:01:42,709 I need you to be on your game today, Liza. 54 00:01:42,710 --> 00:01:44,990 And then raise your same several levels to my game. 55 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:46,249 Do you think you can do that? 56 00:01:46,250 --> 00:01:47,749 - Uh... - Just try to keep up. 57 00:01:47,750 --> 00:01:49,579 Charles has scheduled a meeting, 58 00:01:49,580 --> 00:01:51,580 and I've heard it is about repackaging. 59 00:01:51,590 --> 00:01:53,969 And do you know who is in charge of repackaging? 60 00:01:53,970 --> 00:01:55,389 - Us. - Me. 61 00:01:55,390 --> 00:01:58,339 And perhaps, if the client is big enough, 62 00:01:58,340 --> 00:01:59,729 Charles too. 63 00:01:59,730 --> 00:02:01,809 We may even have to work some late nights. 64 00:02:01,810 --> 00:02:02,810 Do you like him? 65 00:02:02,811 --> 00:02:04,479 He is a married man, Liza. 66 00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:07,099 But an attractive straight man in a publishing house is rare. 67 00:02:07,100 --> 00:02:10,099 It's like finding Louboutins at a yard sale. 68 00:02:10,100 --> 00:02:12,769 Plus I heard a rumor his marriage is on the rocks. 69 00:02:12,770 --> 00:02:14,520 So we are going into that conference room 70 00:02:14,530 --> 00:02:15,779 for that meeting. 71 00:02:15,780 --> 00:02:18,409 I need you to take detailed notes. 72 00:02:18,410 --> 00:02:19,950 I plan on being distracted. 73 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:24,030 So Hollywood is finally starting to recognize 74 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:25,330 Chinua Achebe's work, 75 00:02:25,340 --> 00:02:27,039 and we are in discussions with the estate 76 00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:30,170 for the rights to reissue and repackage the book 77 00:02:30,180 --> 00:02:32,629 to accompany the film release. 78 00:02:32,630 --> 00:02:35,129 [groans] I'm dying. 79 00:02:35,130 --> 00:02:36,349 What's wrong? 80 00:02:36,350 --> 00:02:37,799 My Goddess Cup is stuck. 81 00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:39,019 It feels like it's launching 82 00:02:39,020 --> 00:02:41,299 unsanctioned air strikes on my cervix. 83 00:02:41,300 --> 00:02:43,269 What's a Goddess Cup? 84 00:02:43,270 --> 00:02:46,269 Like, a menstrual accoutrement. 85 00:02:46,270 --> 00:02:48,809 You know, it's like a tampon, but eco-friendly. 86 00:02:48,810 --> 00:02:50,390 It sits up inside your stuff like a... 87 00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:51,729 Like a diaphragm? 88 00:02:51,730 --> 00:02:53,810 What's a diaphragm? 89 00:02:53,820 --> 00:02:55,649 I can't. I have got to go. 90 00:02:55,650 --> 00:02:56,650 [groans] 91 00:02:56,651 --> 00:02:58,480 (Charles) The nun plays the role. 92 00:02:59,870 --> 00:03:03,289 Wow, this message board is filled with angry emojis. 93 00:03:03,290 --> 00:03:04,709 Apparently this happens a lot. 94 00:03:04,710 --> 00:03:07,079 Okay... okay, okay, okay. Here we go. 95 00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:10,159 If you orgasm, the contractions will release the cup. 96 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:12,219 Orgasm? I'm at work. 97 00:03:12,220 --> 00:03:14,169 I can talk you through it. 98 00:03:14,170 --> 00:03:15,330 Kelsey? 99 00:03:15,340 --> 00:03:16,920 I'm back here. 100 00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:21,259 - Are you okay? - No. 101 00:03:21,260 --> 00:03:22,509 It's still up there. 102 00:03:22,510 --> 00:03:24,559 Clearly I have a huge vagina. 103 00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:26,229 I'm not sure why I bother carrying a purse. 104 00:03:26,230 --> 00:03:28,560 (girl on phone) Hey, I knew a girl who got a tampon stuck 105 00:03:28,570 --> 00:03:30,149 and she had to go to the walk-in clinic. 106 00:03:30,150 --> 00:03:33,319 Weeks later, she was convinced a rat had died in her apartment, 107 00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:34,769 but it was just her. 108 00:03:34,770 --> 00:03:38,159 It turns out, the clinic only removed half the tampon. 109 00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:40,029 That's a cute story. 110 00:03:40,030 --> 00:03:41,240 Liza, 111 00:03:41,250 --> 00:03:42,499 I'm gonna need your help. 112 00:03:42,500 --> 00:03:44,410 Okay, what can I do? 113 00:03:44,420 --> 00:03:45,869 I need you to lock the door, 114 00:03:45,870 --> 00:03:48,369 and I need you to wash your hands. 115 00:03:48,370 --> 00:03:50,789 I wouldn't ask, but it's an emergency, okay? 116 00:03:50,790 --> 00:03:52,870 I'm going on, like, 14 hours here. 117 00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:56,429 Damn it. 118 00:03:56,430 --> 00:03:59,549 (woman) Check it in, check it out, show them what you got 119 00:03:59,550 --> 00:04:02,179 What the are you all about? 120 00:04:02,180 --> 00:04:03,379 What the 121 00:04:03,380 --> 00:04:04,599 Thank you. 122 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:06,220 We will never speak of this again. 123 00:04:08,220 --> 00:04:09,719 Liza. 124 00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:11,639 You are the real deal. 125 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:14,890 Anything you ever need, ever, 126 00:04:14,900 --> 00:04:16,810 I got you. 127 00:04:20,790 --> 00:04:22,289 I'm so sorry. I was in the bathroom. 128 00:04:22,290 --> 00:04:23,869 Spare me the details. 129 00:04:23,870 --> 00:04:26,039 Charles wants to get together and talk about this repackaging, 130 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:27,709 so I volunteered to meet him over lunch. 131 00:04:27,710 --> 00:04:29,239 Oh, are you going out? 132 00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:31,909 No, we're eating in here. It's a work lunch, Liza. 133 00:04:31,910 --> 00:04:34,129 Quick question. 134 00:04:34,130 --> 00:04:37,919 When I put my chin in my hand, do I look riveted? 135 00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:41,339 Or like I'm holding a pastry bag of chin skin? 136 00:04:41,340 --> 00:04:42,639 I'm so sorry. 137 00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:44,670 I was distracted by this prestigious award 138 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:46,479 from the London lit fair on your desk. 139 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:48,309 2012. Bad year for books. 140 00:04:48,310 --> 00:04:49,509 Good year for trout. 141 00:04:49,510 --> 00:04:50,899 Now, lunch. 142 00:04:50,900 --> 00:04:53,019 I want you to get the specials from Betony on 57th. 143 00:04:53,020 --> 00:04:54,769 And I want them hot, so take the car service. 144 00:04:54,770 --> 00:04:56,149 Empirical has a car service? 145 00:04:56,150 --> 00:04:57,769 Only for work emergencies. 146 00:04:57,770 --> 00:05:00,019 It's an emergency. 147 00:05:00,020 --> 00:05:02,359 (woman) Doing that thing I love 148 00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:03,940 Can't get enough 149 00:05:03,950 --> 00:05:05,909 That thing you got 150 00:05:05,910 --> 00:05:07,660 You know I want it, baby 151 00:05:07,670 --> 00:05:09,499 Doing that thing I love 152 00:05:09,500 --> 00:05:11,119 Can't get enough 153 00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:15,200 What you need is a woman who can understand 154 00:05:15,210 --> 00:05:18,620 I heard you knock at my door 155 00:05:18,630 --> 00:05:21,290 Watch me open up 156 00:05:21,300 --> 00:05:23,130 Oh 157 00:05:25,350 --> 00:05:26,769 But I am... 158 00:05:26,770 --> 00:05:29,639 I am really excited about this repackage. 159 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:31,300 Have you read Achebe? 160 00:05:31,310 --> 00:05:32,859 I'm sure I have. 161 00:05:32,860 --> 00:05:35,520 Yeah, Things Fall Apart is one of my favorite books. 162 00:05:35,530 --> 00:05:38,190 I actually think it's required reading, now, in high school. 163 00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:39,699 It is. 164 00:05:39,700 --> 00:05:41,029 Oh, yeah. Have you read it? 165 00:05:41,030 --> 00:05:42,479 Yeah, I read the entire trilogy. 166 00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:43,649 I couldn't put it down. 167 00:05:43,650 --> 00:05:45,949 Yes, the trilogy is groundbreaking. 168 00:05:45,950 --> 00:05:47,869 Oh, so you have read Achebe. 169 00:05:47,870 --> 00:05:50,409 What's your favorite? 170 00:05:50,410 --> 00:05:51,709 Of the trilogy? 171 00:05:51,710 --> 00:05:53,830 Oh, well, um... 172 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:57,800 Probably the second book. 173 00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:00,249 No Longer at Ease... 174 00:06:00,250 --> 00:06:01,630 Then put the box down. 175 00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:03,169 Is a great title for the second book, 176 00:06:03,170 --> 00:06:04,500 don't you think? 177 00:06:04,510 --> 00:06:07,089 (Liza) About a man caught between two worlds. 178 00:06:07,090 --> 00:06:09,839 Adiche's Americanah comes close to capturing that experience, 179 00:06:09,840 --> 00:06:12,429 but nothing measures up to Achebe. 180 00:06:12,430 --> 00:06:14,679 You're very well-read. I'm impressed. 181 00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:16,319 You know what I'm not impressed with 182 00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:17,519 is the state of this cod. 183 00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:20,019 It's freezing. 184 00:06:20,020 --> 00:06:23,689 Take that on your way out. 185 00:06:23,690 --> 00:06:25,860 Thank you. 186 00:06:27,910 --> 00:06:29,780 (Diana) I'm ecstatic. 187 00:06:31,370 --> 00:06:34,869 Yes, absolutely. Okay. 188 00:06:34,870 --> 00:06:37,619 [chuckles softly] 189 00:06:37,620 --> 00:06:39,419 Don't you ever book-drop like that again. 190 00:06:39,420 --> 00:06:40,870 I was only trying to help. 191 00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:42,879 You were insinuating that I am bad at my job. 192 00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:44,879 I will have you know that I am the hardest worker here. 193 00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:46,759 When these lightweights go on vacation, I work; 194 00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:48,879 while you were Instagramming your way through India, 195 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:50,349 I was working; and before that, 196 00:06:50,350 --> 00:06:52,349 when you were vaporizing on the quad at Dartmouth, 197 00:06:52,350 --> 00:06:53,850 developing your fondness for African literature, 198 00:06:53,860 --> 00:06:55,439 do you know where I was? 199 00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:58,220 - I'm gonna say at work? - And don't you forget it. 200 00:07:01,110 --> 00:07:03,399 Whoo. 201 00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:05,610 Let's go get a drink tonight. I owe you one. 202 00:07:05,620 --> 00:07:06,949 I might need a week before I can even 203 00:07:06,950 --> 00:07:08,149 look at you again. 204 00:07:08,150 --> 00:07:09,699 Besides, I can't tonight. 205 00:07:09,700 --> 00:07:11,539 I'm going to an art show with my roommate. 206 00:07:11,540 --> 00:07:14,570 Ew, that old lady you met on Craigslist? 207 00:07:14,580 --> 00:07:16,539 - I'll rescue you. - No, no, no. It's okay. 208 00:07:16,540 --> 00:07:17,829 We probably won't stay long. 209 00:07:17,830 --> 00:07:19,209 It's supposed to be really bad. 210 00:07:19,210 --> 00:07:20,249 Not if I come. 211 00:07:20,250 --> 00:07:21,829 I'll bring my friends. It'll be fun. 212 00:07:21,830 --> 00:07:23,419 No, it's okay. I... 213 00:07:23,420 --> 00:07:25,170 This is happening. 214 00:07:32,340 --> 00:07:34,089 So Kelsey's coming to this show? 215 00:07:34,090 --> 00:07:36,419 Yeah, she sort of invited herself. 216 00:07:36,420 --> 00:07:37,759 It'll be fine. 217 00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:39,339 Or weird. 218 00:07:39,340 --> 00:07:42,009 You know, you and me hanging out is just... 219 00:07:42,010 --> 00:07:43,809 I'm just worried she's gonna think I'm... 220 00:07:43,810 --> 00:07:46,010 - Gay? - Old... er. 221 00:07:46,020 --> 00:07:48,149 Don't worry... I promise not to blow your cover. 222 00:07:48,150 --> 00:07:49,569 I'll just be your roommate. 223 00:07:49,570 --> 00:07:50,769 Your older roommate. 224 00:07:50,770 --> 00:07:52,150 Who I found on Craigslist. 225 00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:53,150 Craigslist? 226 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:54,609 Why are you hanging out with me? 227 00:07:54,610 --> 00:07:56,070 'Cause you're cool. 228 00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:58,079 You're my cool older roommate I found on Craigslist. 229 00:07:58,080 --> 00:07:59,279 I am cool. 230 00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:00,779 I lived in Williamsburg before it's all 231 00:08:00,780 --> 00:08:02,279 rich kids on unicycles. 232 00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:04,830 I was your coolest friend, remember? 233 00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:07,249 You were the one... The housewife from New Jersey 234 00:08:07,250 --> 00:08:09,500 who went to book club and drank Tequila Mockingbirds. 235 00:08:09,510 --> 00:08:11,009 That is a delicious cocktail. 236 00:08:11,010 --> 00:08:12,789 And that book club helped me impress my publisher today, 237 00:08:12,790 --> 00:08:14,429 so I'm grateful to them. 238 00:08:14,430 --> 00:08:16,709 Yeah, we should've thrown back a couple of cocktails, 239 00:08:16,710 --> 00:08:18,210 'cause this is gonna be rough. 240 00:08:18,220 --> 00:08:20,049 I mean, we might be the only people there. 241 00:08:20,050 --> 00:08:23,130 [people chattering] 242 00:08:24,940 --> 00:08:26,300 Wow. 243 00:08:27,970 --> 00:08:30,109 - Ready? - Mm. 244 00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:33,309 [Friends theme song playing] 245 00:08:33,310 --> 00:08:41,240 246 00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:48,959 I can't tell. Is this good? 247 00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:49,990 No. 248 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:51,209 You know, this is so depressing. 249 00:08:51,210 --> 00:08:52,629 My first show... The only people that came 250 00:08:52,630 --> 00:08:54,169 were my mom and my psycho ex-girlfriend 251 00:08:54,170 --> 00:08:56,330 and Phil, the gallery owner, who's standing over there. 252 00:08:56,340 --> 00:08:58,469 Look at him. Look at him. He's smiling. He never smiles. 253 00:08:58,470 --> 00:09:00,339 (Liza) He shouldn't. His gums are too big. 254 00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:02,509 Almost 20 years married to a dentist. 255 00:09:02,510 --> 00:09:04,179 - You notice. - No. 256 00:09:04,180 --> 00:09:06,509 (Liza) Oh, look... oh, there's Kelsey and her friends. 257 00:09:06,510 --> 00:09:08,510 Oh, wow, it's like observing flamingos in nature... 258 00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:10,819 Bright, colorful, and their heads all bent 259 00:09:10,820 --> 00:09:12,480 at an uncomfortable angle. 260 00:09:12,490 --> 00:09:13,899 Hey. 261 00:09:13,900 --> 00:09:15,150 (Kelsey) Hey. 262 00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:16,319 (Liza) Okay, here we go. 263 00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:18,019 Remember... no references before 1990. 264 00:09:18,020 --> 00:09:19,439 There goes all my material. 265 00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:22,859 Hey! Hi. 266 00:09:22,860 --> 00:09:24,699 You remember Lauren. This is Jess. 267 00:09:24,700 --> 00:09:25,999 This exhibit's amazing. 268 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,669 Yeah, I'm definitely amazed. 269 00:09:27,670 --> 00:09:30,030 Oh, this is my roommate, Maggie. 270 00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:31,369 She's also repped by the gallery. 271 00:09:31,370 --> 00:09:33,200 You're an artist too? That's cool. 272 00:09:33,210 --> 00:09:36,370 Apparently not as cool as that guy 273 00:09:36,380 --> 00:09:38,259 talking to Carol Vogel from the Times, 274 00:09:38,260 --> 00:09:40,759 and bro-nodding to Don and Mera Rubell, 275 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:42,879 the biggest art collectors in the country. 276 00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:44,219 Screw me sideways. 277 00:09:44,220 --> 00:09:45,930 Oh, my God. That's the artist? 278 00:09:45,940 --> 00:09:48,189 - I love a guy in a high bun. - Me too. Dibs. 279 00:09:48,190 --> 00:09:50,219 - That guy? - Yeah, he's way more my type. 280 00:09:50,220 --> 00:09:51,809 Really? You're already in two 281 00:09:51,810 --> 00:09:53,559 undefined relationships right now, so... 282 00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:55,229 Define "undefined." 283 00:09:55,230 --> 00:09:57,449 Christ, I mean, it's like trying to talk to a loose balloon. 284 00:09:57,450 --> 00:09:59,399 No, they can be focused... When they're tweeting. 285 00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:01,229 Yeah, I'm sure. You hang with the flamingos. 286 00:10:01,230 --> 00:10:03,230 I'm gonna go try to schmooze Phil for two seconds. 287 00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:05,070 - All right? - Okay. Okay. 288 00:10:08,460 --> 00:10:11,039 I am ret to go. 289 00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:12,379 Yeah, I'm done. 290 00:10:12,380 --> 00:10:14,079 Can we blow off Craigslist Maggie 291 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:16,549 and go get a drink already? 292 00:10:16,550 --> 00:10:18,830 One sec. 293 00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:20,799 Hey, how goes the requisite schmoozing? 294 00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:22,089 Phil can't seem to break away 295 00:10:22,090 --> 00:10:23,759 from his hipster harem and talk to me. 296 00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:24,970 I mean, my show's in a month 297 00:10:24,980 --> 00:10:26,670 and not even a mention of my work. 298 00:10:26,680 --> 00:10:28,139 He's gonna hear about this. 299 00:10:28,140 --> 00:10:30,140 Are you sure you want to go Mad Maggie on Phil? 300 00:10:30,150 --> 00:10:31,509 He's still sort of your boss. 301 00:10:31,510 --> 00:10:34,019 Out of my control. I need to release the beast. 302 00:10:34,020 --> 00:10:35,769 Okay, well, the girls want to go get a drink, 303 00:10:35,770 --> 00:10:37,319 so do you want to meet us, or... 304 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:38,900 I can't be with the girls right now, all right? 305 00:10:38,910 --> 00:10:40,150 I got to talk to Phil. 306 00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:41,989 If you want me to wait, I'll wait. 307 00:10:41,990 --> 00:10:43,270 Just go. It's okay. 308 00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:45,409 Liza, let's go. 309 00:10:45,410 --> 00:10:46,940 - Okay. Call me? - All right. 310 00:10:46,950 --> 00:10:48,530 I'll tell you where we are, okay? 311 00:10:56,260 --> 00:10:59,620 Is Craigslist Maggie, like, your mentor or something? 312 00:10:59,630 --> 00:11:01,129 Why would she be her mentor? 313 00:11:01,130 --> 00:11:03,090 Yeah, I don't know why else she would hang out with her. 314 00:11:03,100 --> 00:11:06,549 It's just nice to have an older, wiser person around sometimes. 315 00:11:06,550 --> 00:11:09,799 Oh, yes, yes. That is how I feel about Siri. 316 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:12,890 Siri, hey, what is sadness? 317 00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:15,470 Oh, my God. 318 00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:17,639 The Friends guy just texted me. 319 00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:20,529 - Wait, the artist? - No, Chandler Bing. 320 00:11:20,530 --> 00:11:22,360 - Yes, the artist. - I called dibs on him, Jess. 321 00:11:22,370 --> 00:11:23,819 You can't give your number to a guy 322 00:11:23,820 --> 00:11:25,449 your friend called dibs on. 323 00:11:25,450 --> 00:11:27,449 - That is girl code. - She's right. That's girl code. 324 00:11:27,450 --> 00:11:29,039 Yeah, and from my understanding, 325 00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:31,159 dibs is a binding verbal contract. 326 00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:32,989 Fine, we will have a three-way. 327 00:11:32,990 --> 00:11:34,489 That's your answer for everything. 328 00:11:34,490 --> 00:11:36,740 Well, you claim to be 60% gay. 329 00:11:36,750 --> 00:11:38,710 Not for you. 330 00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:40,919 Hey, you know what? No more texting. 331 00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:42,420 Cell stack. 332 00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:46,339 I would like to make a toast 333 00:11:46,340 --> 00:11:47,669 to Liza Miller, 334 00:11:47,670 --> 00:11:49,339 the Goddess Cup Extractor. 335 00:11:49,340 --> 00:11:50,389 [snickering] 336 00:11:50,390 --> 00:11:52,590 Not afraid to just reach up in there, 337 00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:54,599 bare-handed, like a mechanic. 338 00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:57,519 Glad I put a gag order on that incident. 339 00:11:57,520 --> 00:12:00,180 Sorry... it's kind of a big deal, though. 340 00:12:00,190 --> 00:12:02,850 Welcome to the inner circle, Liza. 341 00:12:02,860 --> 00:12:04,520 Friends for life. 342 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,859 For at least the next 13 years. 343 00:12:08,860 --> 00:12:10,279 She's taking herself out at 39. 344 00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:11,860 Mm-hmm, the beginning of the end, 345 00:12:11,870 --> 00:12:13,410 when gravity starts winning. 346 00:12:13,420 --> 00:12:14,829 And you have to buy a one-piece 347 00:12:14,830 --> 00:12:16,280 because your abs start disappearing 348 00:12:16,290 --> 00:12:17,699 under your giant foopa. 349 00:12:17,700 --> 00:12:19,539 [laughter] 350 00:12:19,540 --> 00:12:21,619 And your metabolism just shits the bed. 351 00:12:21,620 --> 00:12:24,379 [laughter] 352 00:12:24,380 --> 00:12:26,590 To strong women. 353 00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:28,099 Ride or die. 354 00:12:28,100 --> 00:12:29,960 Big booty hoes. 355 00:12:29,970 --> 00:12:32,549 Salud. 356 00:12:32,550 --> 00:12:33,799 Bitches! 357 00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:36,890 [all cheering and laughing] 358 00:12:38,780 --> 00:12:40,220 [gurgles] 359 00:12:40,230 --> 00:12:42,059 [cheers and laughter] 360 00:12:42,060 --> 00:12:44,559 [phone vibrating] 361 00:12:44,560 --> 00:12:46,700 - I'm gonna do two. - Yeah! 362 00:12:51,540 --> 00:12:53,570 [groans] 363 00:13:00,550 --> 00:13:04,379 [gulping] 364 00:13:04,380 --> 00:13:06,719 What's going on? I called you so many times. 365 00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:08,839 I'm so sorry. I couldn't pick up my phone. 366 00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:10,559 But I'm fine. 367 00:13:10,560 --> 00:13:11,970 Whoa, did you barf? 368 00:13:11,980 --> 00:13:13,339 [laughs] No. 369 00:13:13,340 --> 00:13:14,559 I went to a shawarma cart. 370 00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:17,559 I was really drunk. I still kind of am. 371 00:13:17,560 --> 00:13:19,260 But guess what. 372 00:13:19,270 --> 00:13:21,479 I'm part of a crew now. 373 00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:23,819 I have bitches, Maggie, and we rule. 374 00:13:23,820 --> 00:13:25,519 How exciting for you. 375 00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:27,569 I got into a huge fight with Phil. 376 00:13:27,570 --> 00:13:28,770 Phil. 377 00:13:28,780 --> 00:13:29,989 With his big, puffy smile. 378 00:13:29,990 --> 00:13:31,529 A gum recontouring is what he needs. 379 00:13:31,530 --> 00:13:32,530 [phone beeps] 380 00:13:32,531 --> 00:13:34,109 I kept on pushing him to explain 381 00:13:34,110 --> 00:13:36,610 why there is absolutely no mention of my show. 382 00:13:36,620 --> 00:13:38,919 [laughs] 383 00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:40,280 Kelsey and I, 384 00:13:40,290 --> 00:13:42,589 we made a middle-aged murder pact. 385 00:13:42,590 --> 00:13:44,709 We're gonna kill each other before we turn 40. 386 00:13:44,710 --> 00:13:46,170 She just texted me... [laughs] 387 00:13:46,180 --> 00:13:47,839 "Poison my Ensure." 388 00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:49,129 [chuckles] 389 00:13:49,130 --> 00:13:51,129 Who are you right now? 390 00:13:51,130 --> 00:13:52,629 What? No. 391 00:13:52,630 --> 00:13:56,269 Are you Mad Maggie that I stayed out late with my crew? 392 00:13:56,270 --> 00:13:58,689 Well, Phil cancelled my show 393 00:13:58,690 --> 00:14:02,520 and dropped me from the gallery. 394 00:14:02,530 --> 00:14:04,730 Have a great rest of your night, yo. 395 00:14:09,650 --> 00:14:11,070 [door slams] 396 00:14:31,490 --> 00:14:33,770 Hi. I made some coffee. 397 00:14:33,780 --> 00:14:35,379 And I know you don't eat breakfast, 398 00:14:35,380 --> 00:14:38,079 but if you're feeling hungrier than you are angry, 399 00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:40,079 I have some toast here... I could butter it up, 400 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:41,749 sprinkle on a little cinnamon and sugar. 401 00:14:41,750 --> 00:14:43,380 It's like eating a hug. 402 00:14:43,390 --> 00:14:46,500 I'm not hungry. 403 00:14:56,070 --> 00:14:57,849 This came out good. 404 00:14:57,850 --> 00:14:59,269 Wow, it's really beautiful, Maggie. 405 00:14:59,270 --> 00:15:01,769 I won't be needing it anymore. I got dropped. 406 00:15:01,770 --> 00:15:03,189 [smashing] 407 00:15:03,190 --> 00:15:05,109 I'm never gonna find another gallery at this age. 408 00:15:05,110 --> 00:15:07,189 I completely understand what you're going through. 409 00:15:07,190 --> 00:15:09,029 No, you don't... You're completely obsessed 410 00:15:09,030 --> 00:15:10,490 with living this 26-year-old life. 411 00:15:10,500 --> 00:15:12,829 Maggie, me passing as younger was your idea. 412 00:15:12,830 --> 00:15:15,119 Yeah, to find a job, not a crew, 413 00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:17,699 or some Tiger Beat cover of a boyfriend. 414 00:15:17,700 --> 00:15:19,119 He's actually very mature. 415 00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:20,919 - I needed that show, Liza. - I know. 416 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,459 Do you? Yeah, I don't know what you know 417 00:15:22,460 --> 00:15:24,420 and what you've completely forgotten. 418 00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:38,809 [groans] 419 00:15:38,810 --> 00:15:40,439 Ooh. 420 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:41,639 You look bad. 421 00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:42,979 Why don't you? 422 00:15:42,980 --> 00:15:45,359 I had a space cake and a melatonin before bed... 423 00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:46,860 Best hangover cure. 424 00:15:46,870 --> 00:15:48,229 Last night was so much fun. 425 00:15:48,230 --> 00:15:50,319 Oh, my God, do that Cher impression again. 426 00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:51,320 It was hilarious. 427 00:15:51,321 --> 00:15:52,900 You were at the shawarma cart like, 428 00:15:52,910 --> 00:15:55,539 Chicken, lamb, or beef? 429 00:15:55,540 --> 00:15:57,620 [groans] I'm such a jerk. 430 00:15:57,630 --> 00:16:00,159 Wait, what's wrong? 431 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:01,999 Maggie got dropped by the gallery. 432 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:03,249 And I wasn't there for her. 433 00:16:03,250 --> 00:16:05,799 I was out annoying a hot meat vendor. 434 00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:08,249 Liza, she's just your roommate. 435 00:16:08,250 --> 00:16:10,469 I mean, it's awful that she got dropped from the gallery, 436 00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,720 but don't be so hard on yourself. 437 00:16:12,730 --> 00:16:14,260 Liza. 438 00:16:16,430 --> 00:16:17,590 Shut the door. 439 00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:21,849 Is everything okay? 440 00:16:21,850 --> 00:16:23,349 I'd say so. 441 00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:24,739 The rumors are true. 442 00:16:24,740 --> 00:16:26,019 Charles is getting divorced. 443 00:16:26,020 --> 00:16:27,400 How do you know that? 444 00:16:27,410 --> 00:16:29,359 His doorman is friends with my dog walker. 445 00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:31,829 That's why it's important to stay down with the people. 446 00:16:31,830 --> 00:16:33,359 Wow, divorce. That's rough. 447 00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:35,199 So is dating in your 40s and inheriting 448 00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:36,529 your grandmother's Welsh calves. 449 00:16:36,530 --> 00:16:39,949 Yeah, but a divorce and going through it alone. 450 00:16:39,950 --> 00:16:41,669 - I can't imagine. - Exactly. 451 00:16:41,670 --> 00:16:43,700 He's gonna need someone to be there for him. 452 00:16:43,710 --> 00:16:45,089 Yeah, he definitely will. 453 00:16:45,090 --> 00:16:46,709 Someone to deal with how crazy he acts 454 00:16:46,710 --> 00:16:47,959 and how selfish he becomes. 455 00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:49,540 Someone to be the adult when he's being 456 00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:50,959 totally irresponsible. 457 00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:53,799 I'm hoping we can be irresponsible together. 458 00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:55,049 What he probably needs 459 00:16:55,050 --> 00:16:56,930 is someone supportive and grounded. 460 00:16:56,940 --> 00:16:58,519 Or open and rebounding. 461 00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:00,050 It's a tricky time. 462 00:17:02,220 --> 00:17:05,559 Schedule me a wax appointment with Dorota. 463 00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:07,890 Uptown and downtown. 464 00:17:09,650 --> 00:17:11,619 Do you know what I mean when I say "downtown"? 465 00:17:11,620 --> 00:17:13,070 You do. Okay. Okay. 466 00:17:15,900 --> 00:17:17,319 (Liza) Maggie's my friend. 467 00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:19,289 I mean, technically, she's my roommate, yes. 468 00:17:19,290 --> 00:17:20,789 But she's also my friend. 469 00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:23,740 She's been there for me when no one else has. 470 00:17:23,750 --> 00:17:25,049 Well, if she's your girl, 471 00:17:25,050 --> 00:17:26,579 then you got to figure out a way to help her. 472 00:17:26,580 --> 00:17:28,419 I'd love to find someone to beat up Phil, 473 00:17:28,420 --> 00:17:29,919 the gallery owner. 474 00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:31,669 I think I could do it, but I don't want to get caught. 475 00:17:31,670 --> 00:17:33,919 We'll come up with something a little less gangster. 476 00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:35,219 Oh, you don't have to get involved. 477 00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:36,559 Of course I do... If you're close 478 00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:38,759 with Craigslist Maggie, then so am I. 479 00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:41,090 It's girl code. 480 00:17:41,100 --> 00:17:42,599 Well, she has all this great work 481 00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:44,260 and nowhere to show it. 482 00:17:44,270 --> 00:17:46,269 Maybe I could find her a new gallery. 483 00:17:46,270 --> 00:17:48,239 I might actually have something. 484 00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:49,739 Could you get her downtown after work? 485 00:17:49,740 --> 00:17:51,859 Downtown? I can't even get her to answer her phone. 486 00:17:51,860 --> 00:17:53,820 I don't know how I'm gonna get her downtown. 487 00:17:53,830 --> 00:17:55,189 [phone beeps] 488 00:17:55,190 --> 00:17:56,360 Sorry. 489 00:18:02,420 --> 00:18:03,920 I have an idea. 490 00:18:08,370 --> 00:18:11,290 [horn honking] 491 00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:14,920 [honking continues] 492 00:18:14,930 --> 00:18:18,090 [opera music playing] 493 00:18:18,100 --> 00:18:21,710 494 00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:23,049 What the hell are you doing? 495 00:18:23,050 --> 00:18:24,930 Trying to win you back. 496 00:18:24,940 --> 00:18:27,250 Maggie, without you, I'd be back in Jersey, 497 00:18:27,260 --> 00:18:28,800 drinking Bridget Jones's Daiquiris 498 00:18:28,810 --> 00:18:30,559 with my book club. 499 00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:32,309 I owe you my life, 500 00:18:32,310 --> 00:18:34,690 my annoying, 26-year-old life. 501 00:18:34,700 --> 00:18:36,229 502 00:18:36,230 --> 00:18:38,229 I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you last night. 503 00:18:38,230 --> 00:18:40,780 I've been completely caught up in these new relationships... 504 00:18:40,790 --> 00:18:42,030 I know it. 505 00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:43,869 It's hard to make new friends. 506 00:18:43,870 --> 00:18:46,069 It's harder to lose old ones. 507 00:18:46,070 --> 00:18:49,409 Well, technically, you're old too. 508 00:18:49,410 --> 00:18:50,909 509 00:18:50,910 --> 00:18:52,290 And you're not losing me. 510 00:18:52,300 --> 00:18:54,460 511 00:18:54,470 --> 00:18:56,549 I can't believe you Pretty Woman-ed me. 512 00:18:56,550 --> 00:18:57,969 I can't believe I'm Richard Gere 513 00:18:57,970 --> 00:18:59,419 and you're Julia Roberts. 514 00:18:59,420 --> 00:19:01,419 I always thought it'd be the other way around. 515 00:19:01,420 --> 00:19:02,809 [laughs] 516 00:19:02,810 --> 00:19:04,170 Come down here. I have a surprise. 517 00:19:04,180 --> 00:19:06,389 All right. All right. Give me a minute. 518 00:19:06,390 --> 00:19:09,060 519 00:19:22,690 --> 00:19:23,909 What is this place? 520 00:19:23,910 --> 00:19:25,749 You'll see. 521 00:19:25,750 --> 00:19:28,279 Hey, guys. Come on in. 522 00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:30,279 Is Phil tied to a chair with a gag in his mouth? 523 00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:31,749 No, that's already been vetoed. 524 00:19:31,750 --> 00:19:33,120 Oh. 525 00:19:35,010 --> 00:19:37,870 [techno music playing] 526 00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:41,879 Lights, lights, smoke machine. 527 00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:43,099 Drag queen. 528 00:19:43,100 --> 00:19:44,929 Some cheap wine, little plastic cups, 529 00:19:44,930 --> 00:19:46,879 and voila. 530 00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:48,430 Welcome to your pop-up gallery. 531 00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:50,189 See, you don't need Phil's gallery. 532 00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:52,139 You just need a space where you can show your work. 533 00:19:52,140 --> 00:19:54,639 And our combined 7,000 Facebook friends. 534 00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:56,309 How did you find this place? 535 00:19:56,310 --> 00:19:58,140 Oh, I went to school with this dude, Teddy Wong. 536 00:19:58,150 --> 00:19:59,559 His parents own the building. 537 00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:01,729 Anyway, I bring him weed and he lets me use the space 538 00:20:01,730 --> 00:20:03,119 for parties or when I'm buying stuff 539 00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:04,819 from weird people off Craigslist. 540 00:20:04,820 --> 00:20:06,899 - No offense. - None taken. 541 00:20:06,900 --> 00:20:08,539 Maggie, I looked up your work on Artnet, 542 00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:11,239 and it deserves to be someplace really special. 543 00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:14,459 I love it. I can't believe you guys did this for me. 544 00:20:14,460 --> 00:20:16,379 Any friend of Liza's. Come on. 545 00:20:16,380 --> 00:20:18,049 Not just any friend. 546 00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:19,719 My oldest friend. 547 00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:20,969 Yes, your oldest friend. 548 00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:22,839 [laughs] 549 00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:24,419 - Yay! - Thanks, you guys. 550 00:20:24,420 --> 00:20:26,339 (Liza) Yay! 551 00:20:26,340 --> 00:20:28,340 ?Synced & Corrected by Seppuku17? ?www.addic7ed.com? 552 00:20:28,390 --> 00:20:32,940 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 38702

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