Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
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[phone chimes]
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[phone chimes]
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[phone chimes]
4
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Okay, there's a strong possibility
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00:00:43,950 --> 00:00:45,950
I could end up naked with
Josh in the very near future.
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00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:48,540
I need you to look at my
body and be brutally honest.
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Ooh, I like the landing strip.
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Nice choice.
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It's like the little
black dress of pubic hair.
10
00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:56,670
But what about the skin above my knees?
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And I think I'm getting a cleavage wrinkle.
12
00:00:58,550 --> 00:01:00,170
- What are you talking about?
- Right here.
13
00:01:00,250 --> 00:01:01,590
It's from sleeping on
my side all these years.
14
00:01:01,670 --> 00:01:02,840
You know that you're an insane person?
15
00:01:02,970 --> 00:01:04,760
A cleavage wrinkle?
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00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:06,340
With everything that women
have to be paranoid about,
17
00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:07,510
we don't need to be making up new stuff.
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You look amazing.
19
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Don't look at me with best friend eyes.
20
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I need your artist eye.
21
00:01:12,100 --> 00:01:13,520
Josh is an artist. Oh, my God.
22
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He's a tattoo artist.
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All he does is look at skin all day.
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Taut, young skin!
25
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Whoa, whoa, whoa, what is going on with you?
26
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I don't know! I just... I don't...
27
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I don't know if I can have sex with someone
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who's barely old enough to rent a car.
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Liza, if you don't want to sleep with him...
30
00:01:25,610 --> 00:01:26,950
Oh, no, no, I want to have sex with him.
31
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It's just, I don't know if...
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I can't say this out loud, but...
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I haven't had sex in two years.
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Oh.
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Okay, well, uh, it's not like you forgot how.
36
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You just need to relax.
37
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- Right.
- Yeah.
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How do I do that?
39
00:01:42,050 --> 00:01:43,010
Take one of my Xanax.
40
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Isn't it illegal to take
41
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someone else's prescription medicine?
42
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You're so cute. Maybe just take half.
43
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[upbeat pop music]
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☯Synced & Corrected by Seppuku17☯
❃www.addic7ed.com❃
45
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♪ ♪
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You've got mail.
47
00:02:02,070 --> 00:02:03,780
Oh, I love that movie.
48
00:02:03,900 --> 00:02:05,730
I mean, I love watching
49
00:02:05,820 --> 00:02:07,790
old movies on my iPad.
50
00:02:07,910 --> 00:02:08,790
Streaming them.
51
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I'm a huge... I'm a big streamer.
52
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I'm gonna go back to work now.
53
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No, stay.
54
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This is going to be a real treat for you.
55
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- It's for me?
- God, no, it's for me.
56
00:02:16,830 --> 00:02:18,160
But you get to be the first to see it.
57
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It's Judith Leiber, made to order.
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Just cobra and stingray
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with antiqued gold hardware.
60
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Hematite, Austrian crystal,
61
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and onyx stone inlay.
62
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It's gorgeous, Diana.
63
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I just wish men appreciated bags
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00:02:36,930 --> 00:02:38,270
as much as women.
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Men are visual.
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They respond to the whole picture,
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even if they don't know why.
68
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I'm telling you, men are
gonna love that purse
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without even realizing they saw it.
70
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Let me ask you a question.
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Do you think I should change
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00:02:52,620 --> 00:02:53,830
my profile photo?
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Maybe do one with the Leiber?
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00:02:55,950 --> 00:02:57,420
Uh, absolutely.
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Would you mind...
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00:02:59,920 --> 00:03:01,340
taking a few photos?
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Sure.
78
00:03:03,540 --> 00:03:05,840
Oh, no, not with that.
79
00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:07,800
Use this.
80
00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:10,430
And run it though one of
those fancy Instagram filters.
81
00:03:14,640 --> 00:03:15,300
Guess who has a reading
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00:03:15,390 --> 00:03:16,140
tomorrow night
83
00:03:16,270 --> 00:03:17,470
at the Swedish consulate?
84
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Bjornberg? [gasps]
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I finished the translation you gave me.
86
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You're right; he's incredible.
87
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His agent wants him
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to sign with Knopf.
89
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But I'm gonna get him
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to change his mind.
91
00:03:25,530 --> 00:03:26,480
And how are you going to do that?
92
00:03:26,620 --> 00:03:27,620
I don't know.
93
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But I'm not above yodeling.
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That's Swiss.
95
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Swedes are more into free childcare,
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herring, and depression.
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[groans]
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[phone chimes]
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Check this out.
100
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It's a tattoo Josh did.
101
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Wow.
102
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It says, "You have to see it IRL."
103
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What's IRL?
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In real life.
105
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When you were in India,
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were you living under
107
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an actual rock?
108
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No, but I did spend one monsoon season
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in a cave IRL.
110
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Bam. Used it right there.
111
00:03:57,850 --> 00:03:59,560
Last time I was in New Jersey,
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it was illegal to pump your own gas.
113
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- It still is.
- Still?
114
00:04:02,900 --> 00:04:04,070
So same-sex marriage is legal,
115
00:04:04,190 --> 00:04:05,820
but pumping your own gas isn't?
116
00:04:05,910 --> 00:04:07,770
- Yup.
- I like New Jersey.
117
00:04:07,860 --> 00:04:08,990
[phone chimes]
118
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Will you check that for me?
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Ooh, hotty hotpants alert.
120
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It's from Josh.
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Oh, nice.
122
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What should I text back?
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How about "the escrow
124
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"on my suburban New Jersey home is closed,
125
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and I'm on my way to tag
everything for the movers."
126
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Why not throw in the fact that I'm 40
127
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and a baby's head came out of my Frida?
128
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[laughs] You call it your Frida?
129
00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:31,850
Yeah, what do you call it?
130
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The entertainment center.
131
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I wish I had your confidence.
132
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Good, 'cause I'm sending some of it to Josh.
133
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I request final text approval.
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Ah, that's good.
135
00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:48,060
No! That is not approved.
136
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Too late. I hit "send."
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[steady rock music]
138
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I thought we were just here to tag stuff.
139
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Why is there a moving van here?
140
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The more important question is,
141
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why is my soon-to-be-ex-husband here?
142
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David!
143
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,750
Liza, what are you... I
didn't know you'd be here.
144
00:05:06,830 --> 00:05:08,050
Wow, you look great.
145
00:05:08,140 --> 00:05:09,750
Did you do something different with your...
146
00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:12,170
She just dropped 180 pounds of dead weight.
147
00:05:12,260 --> 00:05:13,470
Great to see you, Maggie...
148
00:05:13,590 --> 00:05:14,810
As always. Still single?
149
00:05:14,930 --> 00:05:16,390
Still stripping the blackjack dealer?
150
00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:17,480
David, what's going on?
151
00:05:17,590 --> 00:05:18,810
Uh, listen, I got a great
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last-minute deal on these movers,
153
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so I figured I'd have
everything put into storage.
154
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And that way, you could
just go get your stuff
155
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whenever it's convenient for you.
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00:05:26,100 --> 00:05:27,770
I'm having a consignment guy come tomorrow.
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I wanted him to see the
furniture in the house.
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Fine.
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I'm an ass.
160
00:05:34,530 --> 00:05:36,190
- Take it all.
- What?
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00:05:36,280 --> 00:05:38,160
Yeah, I screwed this up. Take everything.
162
00:05:38,280 --> 00:05:39,450
- No.
- Take it, Liza.
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00:05:39,580 --> 00:05:41,870
Yeah, and maybe someday
you'll look back on this
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00:05:41,950 --> 00:05:45,120
and say, "Hey, you know, David wasn't so bad.
165
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Sure, he made a mistake,
but he was a good person."
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See you around.
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Maybe I'm too hard on him.
168
00:05:57,800 --> 00:05:59,300
Who's paying for this?
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00:06:05,877 --> 00:06:10,090
[upbeat rock music]
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00:06:10,170 --> 00:06:12,640
♪ ♪
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00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:14,170
Wow.
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You look... wow.
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[laughs]
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I'm going straight to
Bjornberg's reading after work.
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- Come with me.
- I can't.
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00:06:21,570 --> 00:06:22,820
I'm seeing Josh tonight.
177
00:06:22,900 --> 00:06:24,930
Oh, my God, I checked out his Instagram.
178
00:06:25,020 --> 00:06:27,570
He is, like, disturbingly hot.
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00:06:27,690 --> 00:06:29,820
Are you two still busy
braiding friendship bracelets,
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00:06:29,910 --> 00:06:31,270
or are you ready to come back to work?
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00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:32,330
Uh...
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We were actually just discussing what...
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00:06:33,610 --> 00:06:36,000
Shh. Did you hear that?
184
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Hear what?
185
00:06:39,370 --> 00:06:41,530
[musical flourish]
186
00:06:41,670 --> 00:06:43,540
Excuse me.
187
00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:51,260
Is everything okay?
188
00:06:51,380 --> 00:06:52,300
I got a hit. Look.
189
00:06:52,380 --> 00:06:53,350
[gasps]
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00:06:54,930 --> 00:06:56,800
Ooh, he's handsome.
191
00:06:56,890 --> 00:07:00,600
And he's a tenured professor
at Columbia Medical School.
192
00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:02,770
He likes rock climbing; his
Australian shepherd, Ben;
193
00:07:02,890 --> 00:07:03,970
and Sundays at The Frick.
194
00:07:04,060 --> 00:07:05,530
- You love The Frick.
- I love The Frick.
195
00:07:05,610 --> 00:07:06,890
He writes, "I see from your profile
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00:07:07,030 --> 00:07:08,140
"that you are a member
197
00:07:08,230 --> 00:07:09,730
"of the East Side Chamber Music Society.
198
00:07:09,860 --> 00:07:11,810
"I am a member of the West
Side Chamber Music Society.
199
00:07:11,900 --> 00:07:13,530
Could we ever bridge this bitter rivalry?"
200
00:07:13,620 --> 00:07:14,570
Adorable.
201
00:07:14,650 --> 00:07:15,740
Stop cheerleading and help me.
202
00:07:15,820 --> 00:07:16,900
What should I write back?
203
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How about, "Some rivalries are fated.
204
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"Two households, both alike in dignity,
205
00:07:24,250 --> 00:07:25,330
in fair Verona."
206
00:07:25,410 --> 00:07:26,630
Shakespeare?
207
00:07:26,750 --> 00:07:28,250
Won't that make me sound a tad musty?
208
00:07:28,330 --> 00:07:29,920
Well, he's into museums and chamber music.
209
00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:31,550
I think Shakespeare's a safe bet.
210
00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:33,140
Okay, press "send."
211
00:07:35,590 --> 00:07:37,590
You always hope there's
someone like this out there.
212
00:07:37,730 --> 00:07:39,060
I know what you mean.
213
00:07:39,140 --> 00:07:40,840
No, you don't. You're 26 years old.
214
00:07:40,930 --> 00:07:42,430
You have no idea what it's like out there
215
00:07:42,510 --> 00:07:43,760
for a woman my age.
216
00:07:43,900 --> 00:07:44,850
It's a tundra.
217
00:07:46,430 --> 00:07:47,730
Oh!
218
00:07:47,820 --> 00:07:49,650
"Quoting the bard. How intriguing.
219
00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:51,940
Normally, this website is so fatiguing."
220
00:07:52,020 --> 00:07:53,440
He's rhyming. Rhyme back.
221
00:07:53,530 --> 00:07:54,820
Oh, okay. Uh...
222
00:07:54,940 --> 00:07:57,910
"The bard isn't hard to quote by memory.
223
00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:01,450
How did you enjoy your
college years at Emory?"
224
00:08:01,530 --> 00:08:03,030
Finally, something you're good at.
225
00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:04,330
I'll take that as a "thank you."
226
00:08:04,450 --> 00:08:05,750
[gasps] Oh.
227
00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:07,500
"Those times were fun. There's much to tell.
228
00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:09,210
Let's continue this chat IRL."
229
00:08:09,290 --> 00:08:10,460
Where's IRL?
230
00:08:10,590 --> 00:08:11,790
Is that Long Island City? Queens?
231
00:08:11,930 --> 00:08:13,260
It stands for "in real life."
232
00:08:13,340 --> 00:08:14,430
Ah. Yes, yes, yes!
233
00:08:14,510 --> 00:08:15,760
Type "yes." Yes. Yes!
234
00:08:18,300 --> 00:08:19,800
(woman) He's won countless awards,
235
00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:24,550
including this year's Swedish
Literary Society's Grand Prize.
236
00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:27,770
He's quite simply a national treasure.
237
00:08:27,860 --> 00:08:32,560
Please welcome the
incomparable Anton Bjornberg.
238
00:08:32,650 --> 00:08:34,650
[applause]
239
00:08:34,730 --> 00:08:36,370
Thank you.
240
00:08:39,370 --> 00:08:42,320
[speaking Swedish]
241
00:08:46,330 --> 00:08:48,240
(Kelsey) The reading's in Swedish?
242
00:08:48,330 --> 00:08:49,750
(man) Shh!
243
00:08:49,830 --> 00:08:52,800
[Anton speaking in Swedish]
244
00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:01,760
[upbeat music]
245
00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:03,840
♪ ♪
246
00:09:03,930 --> 00:09:05,810
Well, to first times.
247
00:09:05,900 --> 00:09:07,430
Okay.
248
00:09:08,900 --> 00:09:10,770
Sorry, I'm just a little nervous.
249
00:09:10,850 --> 00:09:12,100
I love that about you.
250
00:09:12,190 --> 00:09:13,600
What, my nervousness?
251
00:09:13,690 --> 00:09:15,770
No, no, your... Your honesty.
252
00:09:15,860 --> 00:09:18,160
And also the way your right eyebrow's
253
00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:21,530
always just a little bit
higher than your left one.
254
00:09:21,610 --> 00:09:23,410
Makes you always seem a little amused.
255
00:09:23,530 --> 00:09:24,700
Well, you're amusing.
256
00:09:24,780 --> 00:09:28,370
Well, what exactly makes me so amusing?
257
00:09:28,450 --> 00:09:30,290
You know, you're this...
258
00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:33,870
cool, sexy tattoo artist guy.
259
00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:37,930
And you're this cool,
sexy book publishing girl.
260
00:09:38,050 --> 00:09:39,300
You pay attention.
261
00:09:39,380 --> 00:09:40,850
I do pay attention.
262
00:09:42,270 --> 00:09:45,520
And for certain people,
I lavish my attention.
263
00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:47,220
Lavish?
264
00:09:47,310 --> 00:09:49,110
Yeah, lavish.
265
00:09:49,220 --> 00:09:51,270
(woman) Josh.
266
00:09:51,390 --> 00:09:52,980
Hey. How are you?
267
00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:54,190
(woman) I'm good.
268
00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:55,860
Look how great the new tattoo healed.
269
00:09:55,950 --> 00:09:57,610
Oh, sick.
270
00:09:57,730 --> 00:09:59,370
Yeah, that line turned out great.
271
00:09:59,450 --> 00:10:02,200
Liza, this is Dacia.
272
00:10:02,290 --> 00:10:03,540
Hi. It's nice to meet you.
273
00:10:03,620 --> 00:10:05,120
It's a great... line.
274
00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:06,160
Thanks.
275
00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:07,160
Dacia, is this Josh?
276
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:08,210
Oh, yeah.
277
00:10:08,290 --> 00:10:09,740
You have to do me too.
278
00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:11,660
I was thinking of a Smith & Wesson revolver,
279
00:10:11,750 --> 00:10:13,550
like, right here.
280
00:10:13,630 --> 00:10:15,080
Yeah, yeah, that's hot.
281
00:10:15,220 --> 00:10:16,300
(woman) I know, right?
282
00:10:16,420 --> 00:10:17,920
(Dacia) We should go to your studio
283
00:10:18,050 --> 00:10:19,890
and do it right now.
284
00:10:19,970 --> 00:10:21,250
Yes.
285
00:10:21,340 --> 00:10:24,220
Uh, I... I should probably get going anyways.
286
00:10:24,310 --> 00:10:25,980
What? Why?
287
00:10:26,090 --> 00:10:27,980
Well, you've got work to do.
288
00:10:28,100 --> 00:10:29,900
Hey, hey.
289
00:10:29,980 --> 00:10:33,020
I want to be here with you, all right?
290
00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:34,480
And when we get home,
291
00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:37,490
the only thing that I want to work on
292
00:10:37,610 --> 00:10:39,940
is your hot little...
293
00:10:50,190 --> 00:10:53,150
[conversing in Swedish]
294
00:11:17,050 --> 00:11:18,210
Excuse me.
295
00:11:18,350 --> 00:11:19,800
Some people from the Finnish consulate
296
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:21,300
are getting pretty rowdy at the bar.
297
00:11:21,380 --> 00:11:22,680
The Finns are here?
298
00:11:22,770 --> 00:11:23,680
Mm.
299
00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:25,180
Pardon me.
300
00:11:25,270 --> 00:11:27,390
Are there really Finns at the bar?
301
00:11:27,470 --> 00:11:30,560
No. I just got creative.
302
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,310
Well, that certainly worked.
303
00:11:32,390 --> 00:11:33,560
Kelsey Peters.
304
00:11:33,650 --> 00:11:34,890
I'm an editor at Empirical.
305
00:11:34,980 --> 00:11:36,400
Hey, Anton. [speaking Swedish]
306
00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:39,030
Sorry, I don't speak Swedish.
307
00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:41,820
- You don't?
- No.
308
00:11:41,900 --> 00:11:43,990
Then why are you at a Swedish reading?
309
00:11:44,070 --> 00:11:46,960
Well, I read a translation
of your book, In Galleries.
310
00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:48,490
I'm a huge fan.
311
00:11:48,580 --> 00:11:49,910
I think you're a genius.
312
00:11:49,990 --> 00:11:51,740
I want to sign you.
313
00:11:51,830 --> 00:11:53,750
Oh. That's quite forward.
314
00:11:53,830 --> 00:11:56,880
I just need five minutes of your time.
315
00:11:56,970 --> 00:11:59,590
You know what, Kelsey Peters?
316
00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:01,890
Let's get out of here.
317
00:12:01,970 --> 00:12:03,420
Let's go and have a drink
318
00:12:03,560 --> 00:12:06,340
somewhere with fewer rowdy Finns.
319
00:12:06,430 --> 00:12:07,930
Great.
320
00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:10,180
(band) ♪ You got me all worked up ♪
321
00:12:10,270 --> 00:12:12,400
♪ I'm digging all your stuff ♪
322
00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:14,520
♪ You got that thing I want ♪
323
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:16,690
♪ Give it to me now ♪
324
00:12:16,770 --> 00:12:19,110
♪ You got me on my knees ♪
325
00:12:19,190 --> 00:12:21,490
[laughs]
326
00:12:21,610 --> 00:12:22,610
What's so funny?
327
00:12:22,740 --> 00:12:24,440
Nothing. It's just...
328
00:12:24,530 --> 00:12:25,780
[giggles]
329
00:12:25,910 --> 00:12:27,830
Wait. I'm sorry. I'm just a little ticklish.
330
00:12:27,950 --> 00:12:30,170
You just need to relax a little bit.
331
00:12:30,290 --> 00:12:31,620
Yes, you're right.
332
00:12:31,750 --> 00:12:34,250
I do. I do. I need to relax.
333
00:12:34,340 --> 00:12:35,870
Can I use your bathroom?
334
00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:37,120
Unrelated to relaxing.
335
00:12:37,210 --> 00:12:39,130
I plan to relax elsewhere
other than the bathroom.
336
00:12:39,210 --> 00:12:40,130
First door on your right.
337
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:41,130
Thank you.
338
00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:42,460
♪ You got me all worked up ♪
339
00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:44,630
♪ I'm digging all your stuff ♪
340
00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:46,630
♪ You got that thing I want ♪
341
00:12:46,770 --> 00:12:48,130
♪ Give it to me now ♪
342
00:12:48,270 --> 00:12:49,640
Okay.
343
00:12:51,390 --> 00:12:53,360
Just relax.
344
00:12:56,190 --> 00:12:58,110
[exhales]
345
00:13:02,730 --> 00:13:05,650
[swanky jazz music]
346
00:13:05,740 --> 00:13:13,660
♪ ♪
347
00:13:25,010 --> 00:13:27,010
Oh, my lord.
348
00:13:27,090 --> 00:13:31,010
Is that a Zahara stingray
and cobra Judith Leiber bag?
349
00:13:31,100 --> 00:13:32,350
Yes, it is.
350
00:13:32,430 --> 00:13:34,680
I thought so. Look at the onyx stone inlay.
351
00:13:34,770 --> 00:13:35,820
It's extraordinary.
352
00:13:35,900 --> 00:13:38,320
You know a lot about purses.
353
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:39,940
Oh, I'm a huge Leiber fan.
354
00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:41,150
I have a YouTube channel.
355
00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:42,610
So far, I've reviewed 38 bags,
356
00:13:42,690 --> 00:13:45,320
but I've never seen a
Zahara stingray and cobra.
357
00:13:45,410 --> 00:13:46,990
If I were you, I'd keep it in a museum case.
358
00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:49,410
No, no, fashion is for enjoyment.
359
00:13:49,530 --> 00:13:51,000
I plan on taking it everywhere with me,
360
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:53,920
to galleries and restaurants and...
361
00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:54,920
The Frick.
362
00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:56,170
[laughs]
363
00:13:56,250 --> 00:13:57,590
How do you know I go to...
364
00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:00,710
Oh, shit.
365
00:14:00,790 --> 00:14:03,130
You're the Columbia professor?
366
00:14:03,210 --> 00:14:05,010
I'm sorry, okay?
367
00:14:05,100 --> 00:14:07,130
I just really wanted to see the bag.
368
00:14:07,220 --> 00:14:09,270
Someone like you would
never agree to meet me.
369
00:14:09,380 --> 00:14:10,880
What do you mean, someone like me?
370
00:14:10,970 --> 00:14:12,850
Well, you're this high-powered executive,
371
00:14:12,940 --> 00:14:14,520
and you've got such fierce style,
372
00:14:14,610 --> 00:14:16,020
and you're so cultured,
373
00:14:16,110 --> 00:14:17,390
and you have this amazing life.
374
00:14:17,530 --> 00:14:18,890
That's what you think of me?
375
00:14:18,980 --> 00:14:22,400
It's not what I think; it's
just the straight-up truth.
376
00:14:24,230 --> 00:14:25,980
Well, it's not so great. Believe me.
377
00:14:26,070 --> 00:14:27,900
Well, I bet you don't get beat up at school.
378
00:14:27,990 --> 00:14:30,200
And people don't call you
"Little Miss Bag Fag."
379
00:14:33,290 --> 00:14:34,870
Sit down. What are you drinking?
380
00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:37,080
Grey Goose martini, two olives.
381
00:14:38,410 --> 00:14:40,160
Club soda with a splash of grenadine.
382
00:14:40,250 --> 00:14:41,500
Excellent choice.
383
00:14:41,580 --> 00:14:43,580
Now, if you are very, very gentle...
384
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:47,170
You may hold it.
385
00:14:49,170 --> 00:14:50,970
Would you like me to take
a picture of you with it?
386
00:14:51,090 --> 00:14:52,560
God, yes.
387
00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:56,100
Smile pretty.
388
00:14:57,180 --> 00:14:58,310
Well, that's the one.
389
00:15:00,940 --> 00:15:03,100
I know I don't have as much experience
390
00:15:03,190 --> 00:15:04,600
as an older editor
391
00:15:04,740 --> 00:15:06,440
and I don't have a roster
full of heavyweights,
392
00:15:06,570 --> 00:15:07,990
but that's also my strength.
393
00:15:08,110 --> 00:15:10,740
I have the time. I have the energy.
394
00:15:10,830 --> 00:15:13,360
I am wild about your book.
395
00:15:13,450 --> 00:15:15,620
So what do you think the book is about?
396
00:15:15,700 --> 00:15:17,620
I've thought about that a lot.
397
00:15:17,700 --> 00:15:18,920
Mm-hmm.
398
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:21,090
I think the book is about indignity.
399
00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:24,210
We start life getting our ass wiped.
400
00:15:24,290 --> 00:15:26,260
We end life getting our ass wiped.
401
00:15:26,340 --> 00:15:28,090
And in between, we're just chasing money.
402
00:15:28,180 --> 00:15:30,350
And here I thought I was writing a book
403
00:15:30,470 --> 00:15:31,680
about my miserable childhood.
404
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:34,100
But I like the way you see it.
405
00:15:34,190 --> 00:15:35,350
Really.
406
00:15:35,470 --> 00:15:38,970
So will you come in Monday
morning for a meeting
407
00:15:39,060 --> 00:15:41,020
and meet the rest of the team?
408
00:15:41,140 --> 00:15:43,530
Oh, that's very American.
409
00:15:43,650 --> 00:15:45,140
Already closing the deal.
410
00:15:45,230 --> 00:15:47,110
[laughs]
411
00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:48,860
I'm sorry. I don't mean to be pushy.
412
00:15:48,980 --> 00:15:50,570
I'm just... I'm excited.
413
00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:52,950
I'm excited too.
414
00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:54,700
Good.
415
00:15:54,820 --> 00:15:57,160
[phone chimes]
416
00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:00,160
[phone ringing]
417
00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:01,910
It's my boyfriend.
418
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,460
It's my wife.
419
00:16:04,550 --> 00:16:07,720
Hey.
420
00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:12,510
(Squeeze) ♪ Tempted by
the fruit of another ♪
421
00:16:12,590 --> 00:16:15,010
♪ Tempted, but the truth is discovered ♪
422
00:16:15,090 --> 00:16:17,090
I love this song.
423
00:16:17,180 --> 00:16:19,180
What year was this?
424
00:16:19,260 --> 00:16:20,680
1981, I think?
425
00:16:20,770 --> 00:16:24,350
Oh, wow, 1981.
426
00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:26,270
When I wasn't even born.
427
00:16:26,350 --> 00:16:27,900
What?
428
00:16:28,020 --> 00:16:28,900
What?
429
00:16:29,020 --> 00:16:31,070
[laughs] Wait.
430
00:16:31,190 --> 00:16:33,530
I love that you listen to old record albums.
431
00:16:33,610 --> 00:16:35,440
Yeah.
432
00:16:37,370 --> 00:16:39,030
I love vinyl. It's the best.
433
00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:41,870
Do you love it love it, or
do you love it ironically?
434
00:16:41,950 --> 00:16:45,370
For real. I love it.
435
00:16:45,460 --> 00:16:47,670
I love all types of old stuff.
436
00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:50,880
[laughs]
437
00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:56,050
[laughs]
438
00:16:56,130 --> 00:16:57,100
I'm gonna try again.
439
00:16:57,220 --> 00:16:59,300
You are a little bit drunk.
440
00:16:59,390 --> 00:17:00,390
No.
441
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:01,800
It's okay.
442
00:17:01,890 --> 00:17:03,140
I'm gonna go make you some coffee.
443
00:17:03,220 --> 00:17:04,440
I'm not drunk.
444
00:17:04,560 --> 00:17:06,230
No, I'm not drunk. I'm not.
445
00:17:06,360 --> 00:17:07,860
I'm just chillaxin'.
446
00:17:07,950 --> 00:17:09,900
(Squeeze) ♪ What's been going on ♪
447
00:17:09,980 --> 00:17:11,610
♪ Now that you have gone ♪
448
00:17:11,730 --> 00:17:13,400
[snoring]
449
00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:17,950
♪ Tempted by the fruit of another ♪
450
00:17:18,070 --> 00:17:21,960
♪ Tempted, but the truth is discovered ♪
451
00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:23,130
♪ ♪
452
00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:27,910
♪ Tempted by the fruit of another ♪
453
00:17:28,050 --> 00:17:29,880
♪ Tempted, but the truth is discovered ♪
454
00:17:38,310 --> 00:17:39,970
It was so embarrassing.
455
00:17:40,090 --> 00:17:41,840
I completely passed out.
456
00:17:41,930 --> 00:17:44,680
Then I snuck out this
morning before he woke up.
457
00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:46,600
You realize you roofied yourself.
458
00:17:46,730 --> 00:17:48,820
Maggie, I don't think I can
actually get back on the horse
459
00:17:48,940 --> 00:17:50,070
with such a young guy.
460
00:17:50,150 --> 00:17:52,240
Of course you can.
461
00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:53,820
Listen to me.
462
00:17:53,940 --> 00:17:55,440
Your vagina just needs a pep talk.
463
00:17:55,580 --> 00:17:56,770
Excuse me?
464
00:17:56,860 --> 00:17:58,660
Frida, now, I know you've only been
465
00:17:58,780 --> 00:18:00,080
with one penis in the past 20 years.
466
00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:01,450
22 years.
467
00:18:01,530 --> 00:18:03,030
I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to Frida.
468
00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:04,370
- That was Frida.
- That was Frida?
469
00:18:04,450 --> 00:18:05,950
Come on. She needs, like,
an accent or something.
470
00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:08,120
- Iz thiz bedder?
- If she's a Persian dude.
471
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:09,450
Anyway, the point is,
472
00:18:09,590 --> 00:18:12,540
there is this unbelievably exciting
473
00:18:12,630 --> 00:18:15,460
sexual world out there that
you've been missing out on.
474
00:18:15,550 --> 00:18:17,050
It's time to come out, girl, okay?
475
00:18:17,130 --> 00:18:18,180
Uh...
476
00:18:18,300 --> 00:18:20,210
Uh, I can come back.
477
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:21,550
- Oh, no.
- No, no, no, it's okay.
478
00:18:21,630 --> 00:18:23,350
- Come on in, Trent.
- Okay.
479
00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:25,850
So I took a look in the truck.
480
00:18:25,970 --> 00:18:28,020
I can give you $2,500 for all of it.
481
00:18:28,140 --> 00:18:29,360
$2,500?
482
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:30,610
Uh, maybe you didn't see it all.
483
00:18:30,690 --> 00:18:32,060
Here. No, show him.
484
00:18:32,150 --> 00:18:34,230
(Liza) I have photos here from
when the house was staged.
485
00:18:34,310 --> 00:18:35,650
Everything is in great condition.
486
00:18:35,730 --> 00:18:36,950
We only had one girl,
487
00:18:37,030 --> 00:18:38,700
so we were actually able to have nice things,
488
00:18:38,820 --> 00:18:40,150
unlike the boy families.
489
00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:41,240
See this chair? It's a Stickley.
490
00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:43,120
And the dinette, this was my mom's,
491
00:18:43,210 --> 00:18:44,210
and it's genuine cherry.
492
00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:45,910
Look, lady, I get it.
493
00:18:45,990 --> 00:18:47,210
I saw it.
494
00:18:47,330 --> 00:18:48,460
It's worth a couple grand.
495
00:18:48,550 --> 00:18:49,990
I know the market here.
496
00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:52,330
But it took me forever
to collect these things.
497
00:18:52,420 --> 00:18:53,880
I mean, I know some of it's sentimental,
498
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,420
but it's got to be worth more than that,
499
00:18:55,500 --> 00:18:56,630
even as firewood.
500
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:58,890
Okay, 3 grand. Final offer.
501
00:18:59,010 --> 00:19:00,510
You're not gonna do better.
502
00:19:00,590 --> 00:19:02,060
Wow.
503
00:19:02,180 --> 00:19:03,890
You know what? Let's go.
504
00:19:04,010 --> 00:19:05,680
- Where?
- Brooklyn.
505
00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:07,260
- Brooklyn?
- Yeah, Brooklyn.
506
00:19:07,350 --> 00:19:09,060
Everybody's moving to Brooklyn.
507
00:19:09,180 --> 00:19:12,070
[upbeat rock music]
508
00:19:12,190 --> 00:19:14,520
♪ ♪
509
00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:15,690
It's so normcore.
510
00:19:15,770 --> 00:19:17,860
So normcore, totally suburban.
511
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:19,020
It's perfect.
512
00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:20,910
Enjoy it!
513
00:19:21,030 --> 00:19:22,030
We're cleaning up.
514
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:23,490
See, this stuff's not worthless.
515
00:19:23,580 --> 00:19:24,530
Brooklyn loves you.
516
00:19:24,660 --> 00:19:25,750
[phone chimes]
517
00:19:27,120 --> 00:19:28,370
Oh, my God, look at this.
518
00:19:30,590 --> 00:19:32,200
Ooh, this guy's really into you.
519
00:19:32,340 --> 00:19:33,700
I know.
520
00:19:33,790 --> 00:19:35,510
That's why I got to tell him the truth.
521
00:19:35,590 --> 00:19:36,670
It's only a number.
522
00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:37,710
But it's a big one.
523
00:19:37,790 --> 00:19:39,510
You'll be fine. Go.
524
00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:40,880
Frida deserves this.
525
00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:46,630
See ya.
526
00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:49,020
(Scissor Sisters) ♪ I don't
mind if you're running around ♪
527
00:19:49,110 --> 00:19:51,190
Josh, I know that you think
that we're the same age,
528
00:19:51,270 --> 00:19:54,030
but, actually, I'm four... teen.
529
00:19:54,110 --> 00:19:56,690
That's right; I'm a minor,
and you're under arrest.
530
00:19:56,780 --> 00:19:59,560
♪ I'm laying in bed with
a whole lot of wonder ♪
531
00:19:59,700 --> 00:20:01,650
Did you know Cameron Diaz is 40?
532
00:20:01,730 --> 00:20:03,120
She's not gross, right?
533
00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:04,400
♪ Midnight strikes ♪
534
00:20:04,540 --> 00:20:06,950
♪ I don't know where you've been ♪
535
00:20:07,070 --> 00:20:09,570
♪ But I still want to make love tonight ♪
536
00:20:09,710 --> 00:20:11,490
♪ When you come stumbling in ♪
537
00:20:11,580 --> 00:20:14,550
♪ Baby, come home to me ♪
538
00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:18,380
♪ Baby, come home to me ♪
539
00:20:18,470 --> 00:20:20,550
- Hi.
- Hi.
540
00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:22,750
I am so sorry I passed out last night.
541
00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:25,920
I was just really nervous, 'cause...
542
00:20:26,060 --> 00:20:28,430
There's something that I need to tell you.
543
00:20:28,510 --> 00:20:30,310
♪ Baby, come home to me ♪
544
00:20:30,430 --> 00:20:32,980
♪ Baby, come home to me ♪
545
00:20:33,100 --> 00:20:36,100
♪ It's a half past quarter to three ♪
546
00:20:36,190 --> 00:20:37,940
Never mind.
547
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:40,769
♪ Baby, come home ♪
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00:20:40,770 --> 00:20:42,770
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