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"Grand High Vampire staked by Boris Dracula,
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"whose takeover attempt failed when he wore the Crown of Power
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"and mysteriously turned to dust."
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Cousin Boris is all over the paper, Zoltan.
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Except The Sun Block.
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Look, the Lice Girls are getting back together!
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I thought I saw something.
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Yes, it's lightning.
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'Vladimir Dracula.'
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That's thunder.
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You are the Chosen One!
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You must take your rightful place on the throne.
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I'm sorry, your Grandness, I really think there's been a mistake.
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- I have trouble doing my homework.
- The time is almost here.
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- You'll know you are the Chosen One when...
- What?
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Come on, we haven't got all night!
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The heads of the vampire clans are downstairs.
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The ceremony is beginning.
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What's wrong, Master Vlad? You look like you've seen a ghost.
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Er, I don't think our plan to rescue Mum is gonna work.
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The place is swarming with vampires!
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There's the Count, Ingrid and Will. (Three is not a swarm.)
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I'm telling you, it's wall-to-wall fang down there.
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Jonno, now is not the time for a visit from Mr Cowardy Custard!
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LAUGHTER
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D'you want some humble pie with that custard?
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Tonight we unveil a new leader from our majestic throng of night feeders.
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Blood brothers and sisters, I present to you the Crown of Power.
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Carved from the bones of victims from the dawn of time.
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Come, come, come, come.
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- Did you see that?
- Yeah, Renfield is such a show-off.
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THEY LAUGH
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To reveal the identity of our new Grand High Vampire,
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I shall require a drop of blood.
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You.
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HE GROWLS
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Please don't say my name...
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As if.
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Chieftain MacDonald.
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THEY SIGH
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BAGPIPES PLAY
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Do you solemnly swear to be evil,
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bloodthirsty and cruel now and for ever more?
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Och aye, I do.
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What?
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THEY GASP
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- Was it something I said?
- It's the prophecy.
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- What prophecy?
- Some vampire voodoo, apparently.
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When the bloodline drops like flies,
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it's a sign a special vampire's coming.
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- The Chosen One.
- There is no proof of it.
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Well, let's hope the bloodline finds someone less combustible this time.
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THEY LAUGH
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Jiang Shi.
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Keen. I like it.
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Do you solemnly swear...
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HE MUMBLES
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THEY GASP
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That vampire voodoo might be true after all.
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So, who's going to find themselves third time lucky?
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Ha-ha-ha! Count Dracula!
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MURMUR OF VOICES
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Well, it's been a long night.
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We're all tired. Why don't we get some rest and food.
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I'll be crowned tomorrow night? Great! That's decided then.
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I can't believe Dad chickened out!
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Well, you can't blame him. That crown is deadly.
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Exactly. I'll be devastated at our loss of course,
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but as the new head of the Dracula family, I'm sure I'll get over it.
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- You'll inherit the castle?!
- And everything else!
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You are so bad.
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I know. Dad's gonna wear that crown if it's the last thing he does.
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- Ready for action, Jonno!
- Let's go!
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No, wait! Let's make a pact.
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- Promise me you'll slay me if I get bitten.
- I promise.
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And you'll slay me if I get bitten?
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I promise.
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What if we both get bitten at once?
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These pacts are trickier than you think.
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This is our chance to save your mother!
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It's you and me against two dozen vampires.
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- BOTH:
- We're gonna need more weapons.
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Why do I have to be the Chosen One? Why can't it be like PE,
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where I'm always last to be picked?
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You can't have seen the Grand High Vampire.
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I would have sensed his presence
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with my finely tuned animal instincts.
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It's bad enough turning into a vampire,
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never mind a special one. I won't wear that crown!
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Then your father is doomed.
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Not if I stop the coronation.
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You're a tomato. And you two can be the grapes.
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I wanted to be the carrot.
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Chloe's the carrot.
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And you're the banana? It's not fair!
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The theme for the Scout Cabaret was my idea.
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There's no way I'm wearing this in public.
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You are. We need five pieces of fruit and veg,
99
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- we're the "five-a-day family".
- You're coming and that's it.
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Over my dead pineapple.
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I have come up with a foolproof plan to save you!
102
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I have made an exact replica of the Crown of Power!
103
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That is an utterly stu...stupendous idea!
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With a fake crown I can be Grand High Vampire without taking risks!
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You're not such a mindless slobbering idiot after all!
106
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Thank you, Master! Ta daaa!
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We shouldn't be here. We were kicked out of the Slayer's Guild!
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- 'Please speak name.'
- Eat garlic and die!
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I was only...
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BUZZER RINGS
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'Voice recognised. Access granted.'
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Grab as many weapons as you can!
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Reach for the skies, ladies.
114
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Now turn around.
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Agent Kurt Muller. Slayers Guild, Tactical Division.
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Number of kills, 989.
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Eric Van Helsing. Slayers Guild, Field Operative.
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Kills, zero. Discharged for ineffective conduct.
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Nice work with the pass, you snuck by the tech boys.
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- We came for our weapons.
- They're antiques!
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Stakes and crossbows? No wonder you didn't bag any fang-jobs.
122
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Now this is a weapon. UV grenade-launcher.
123
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It's like having the sun in the palm of your hand.
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Kurt fired and the intruders wet their pants.
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- Artistic licence, I'm writing my memoirs.
- Yeah, well.
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I'll stick with what I know, thanks.
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Your funeral.
128
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Are you going to slay the Count?
129
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The Count's old news, I'm here to take down...
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The Chosen One.
131
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Come on, Robin, stop sulking.
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Your dad's gone to a lot of trouble for this.
133
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Urgh! Sorry!
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Oh.
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Naughty, naughty.
136
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How dare you keep me here like this!
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I think it's rather cosy.
138
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- You're a monster!
- (Me?)
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Vlad?
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Ssh. It's me. Quick, over here.
141
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- Is this everyone?
- Some went to sleep in the crypt.
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Show some respect for your new Grand High Vampire!
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- Or should I say last respects?
- Ha-ha-ha!
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Your dad's gonna be the Grand High Vampire?!
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Not if I can help it.
146
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Master, someone's stolen the crown!
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- Really?
- No, really.
148
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Oh, oh dear... Never mind!
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I mean... Find it, find it now!
150
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I don't know what to do, Robin.
151
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Do you think I'm the Chosen One?
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No. You're a rubbish vampire. There's no way it's you.
153
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- Thanks.
- Maybe I'm the Chosen One.
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Robin...don't!
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Aaargh!
156
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- You should see the look on your face!
- Not funny.
157
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- Oh, come on, it was a bit funny.
- What if the prophecy's true?
158
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There's only one way to find out.
159
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I think the map was wrong. This isn't the dungeon.
160
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It's the crypt. If your mother's in here, we're already too late.
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- Dad, I've got a bad feeling about this.
- Me too.
162
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You shouldn't say that! You should say,
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"It's fine, we're in no danger".
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What was that?
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Sounded like a coffin opening,
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but don't worry, we're in no danger.
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- Aargh!
- Arrgh!
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THEY LAUGH
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CREAKING
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THEY SNARL
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Run!
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RUMBLING
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OK, maybe that wasn't such a great idea.
174
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Playtime's over. Dad wants his crown back.
175
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Don't give it to him, he'll die!
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It's tragic. Don't forget to bring a dustpan and brush.
177
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Stay here, it's too dangerous.
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And I mean it this time!
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Careful getting in, we don't want any slip-ups!
180
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Graham, I don't think your jokes appeal to them.
181
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- Enough fruit jokes.
- They're rotten.
182
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Dad, there's a problem!
183
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Wow, Robin really needs to start shaving.
184
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Stay here, I'm going to the castle!
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You've no time, you'll be late.
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I won't let them get their teeth into my son!
187
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Not this vampire nonsense again!
188
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Er, actually...Dad's right.
189
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Right, that's it. I've had enough!
190
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Everybody into the van, we're going to sort this out!
191
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Kurt waited, like a spider waiting for a fly.
192
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If you put on the crown we'll be sweeping you up like the rest.
193
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Rubbish! They were weak!
194
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It won't destroy Dad, he's strong,
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destined to be the greatest leader ever known!
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Silence! I've made my decision.
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Proceed with the ceremony.
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Stop! Can't you see?
199
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This is what she wants! You're gonna die.
200
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You're not the Chosen One, I am!
201
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THEY LAUGH
202
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We're sorry for intruding, but there's been a misunderstanding.
203
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Oh, really? Pray tell.
204
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Well, somebody, and I won't mention any names,
205
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thinks you're all...
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vampires!
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MR COUNT LAUGHS
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Vampires?
209
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I know. It's ridiculous!
210
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Please don't do this.
211
00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:06,560
So because we wear capes, we're vampires?
212
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He has an overactive imagination!
213
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Because we have a penchant for black, we're vampires?
214
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Just because we have fangs...
215
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HE LAUGHS DEMONICALLY
216
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..and drink blood. We. Are. Vampires.
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VAMPIRES HISS AND SNARL
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- Oh, my.
- Somehow, "I told you so," isn't quite enough.
219
00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:42,680
Now...who would like some freshly squeezed juice?
220
00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:45,200
Not for me, coffin-breath,
221
00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:49,960
I like my tomatoes like I like my vampires...sun-dried.
222
00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:51,760
Go! Go! Go!
223
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Kurt's date with destiny had arrived.
224
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He knew this was a fight to death.
225
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I hear with my little ear something beginning with - awesome!
226
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- THEY SCREAM
- The other way!
227
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:30,320
- Eric! Jonno!
- Mum!
228
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:34,480
- Are you OK? Did he bite you?
- No.
229
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Eric, I'm so sorry I didn't believe you.
230
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It's not important. Let's go.
231
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GROWLING
232
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Rrrraargh!
233
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Ready, aim, fire!
234
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:04,280
Eat this, slayer!
235
00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:10,960
May I remind you I'm stuffed with sawdust.
236
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If I get hit, I'll probably burst into flames.
237
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The man's an imbecile!
238
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Kurt was outnumbered, just as he liked it.
239
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What are you doing here?!
240
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You're the One, you must do something!
241
00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:41,600
Everything's gonna be fine. It's not as bad as it looks.
242
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- Will!
- Arrgh!
243
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Agh! Oh?!
244
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Dad! You slayed a vampire!
245
00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:17,840
Well, he gave me a hand.
246
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SHE SCREAMS
247
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HE HISSES
248
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CLANG
249
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HE LAUGHS
250
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Well, we enjoyed your little fireworks display,
251
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but all good things must come to an end.
252
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Including you.
253
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Kurt had a last trick up his sleeve.
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BEEPING
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I'll save you, Master!
256
00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:12,000
Get off me! You imbecile!
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You are so dead.
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THEY GASP
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Nice shooting, slayer.
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THEY SCREAM
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Let's finish this.
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Wait! We can work something out!
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- Time for talking's over, kid!
- But we don't...we...
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You will know you are the Chosen One when you
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sacrifice the life you love, to save the family you love.
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Robin! The crown! Now!
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00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:33,040
RUMBLING
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00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:34,520
SCREAMING
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Arrgh!
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VLAD SCREAMS
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That's my Vladdy.
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Vampires be gone!
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Mortals, approach me.
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00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:19,840
Why must we destroy each other?
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Can we not live together in harmony?
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You will leave this place and remember nothing of vampires.
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We do not exist.
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ELECTRICAL CRACKLING
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Now go!
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What a lovely family!
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We are so lucky to have them as neighbours!
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- I'll see you for coffee tomorrow, Elizabeth.
- Lovely. - Night, night.
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Graham, we better hurry or we'll be late!
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- Twister!
- Mind if I hitch a ride?
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- Course not. Hop in.
- Stop!
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00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:24,720
- I told you, I'm not wearing this!
- Spoil-sport!
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00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:30,920
Kurt got in the van with the strange family.
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He had no idea why he was talking to his wrist, but
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he kept on doing it anyway.
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Is he... Is he dead?
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00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:03,320
I don't know and I don't care.
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He's your brother! You must help him!
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I'll decide what I MUST do.
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Because I'm in charge now.
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HE ROARS
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Traitor! You will pay for this betrayal, Ingrid!
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Silence!
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From now on, you will call me Countess Dracula.
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Watch me as I avenge Will's death
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and make the streets of Stokely run red with blood!
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SHE CACKLES DEMONICALLY
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Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
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E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk
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Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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