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1
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Ungrateful spawn!
2
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I'll banish you to the darkest pits of Hades!
3
00:00:23,560 --> 00:00:26,520
Yeah? Well, bring it on!
4
00:00:26,520 --> 00:00:29,040
You'll never see the light of day again.
5
00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:32,000
I won't anyway, I'm a vampire now.
6
00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:46,880
Ingrid, remember what happened to the last daughter who challenged me?
7
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I'm your only daughter.
8
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You are now.
9
00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:54,400
What is it this time, Zoltan?
10
00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:58,160
Mistress Ingrid wants to go on a date with her boyfriend.
11
00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:01,680
- And your father doesn't approve.
- Vampires and Breathers do not date.
12
00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:03,840
Well, they do now.
13
00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:10,360
You set one fang outside of this castle
14
00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:12,720
and your death won't be worth living.
15
00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:16,200
- Woah, woah. Can't you talk about this sensibly?
- Don't tell me!
16
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He's the one overreacting.
17
00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:21,840
You think that's overreacting?
18
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I'll give you overreacting.
19
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HE ROARS
20
00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:31,120
Oh, stop it, the pair of you!
21
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Before we have the police banging on the door.
22
00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:36,520
KNOCK AT DOOR
23
00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:55,560
Sorry about that. We're getting it fixed.
24
00:01:55,560 --> 00:01:58,440
PC Brown. Stokely Police.
25
00:01:58,440 --> 00:02:00,400
- Your mum or dad in?
- Yeah.
26
00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:04,560
No, no, no. He was but he's gone out.
27
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Know when he'll be back?
28
00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:10,160
Tonight? Late tonight? GLASS SMASHES
29
00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:12,280
- Is everything all right in there?
- Yeah.
30
00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:14,880
Renfield, turn down that TV!
31
00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:17,400
I'll come back tomorrow then. One o'clock OK?
32
00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:19,600
Yeah, yeah.
33
00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:22,360
One more thing.
34
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Have you seen this man?
35
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No.
36
00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:31,960
- Why?
- He's missing.
37
00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:35,160
Well, look, if you do happen to...
38
00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:46,480
And don't come up until I tell you!
39
00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:55,920
- That was a policeman.
- And what did this policeman want?
40
00:02:55,920 --> 00:02:59,200
To speak with you. Something about a missing person.
41
00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:03,040
Oh, that's the, uh...
42
00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:12,000
- Nothing to do with me.
- That's not what the police think.
43
00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,840
- He's coming back tomorrow.
- So?
44
00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:16,520
A simple man of the law is no match
45
00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:20,600
- for the might of Count Dracula!
- That's what I'm worried about.
46
00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:24,280
Five minutes with you and it won't just be a missing persons enquiry.
47
00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:28,320
- It'll be a full on vampire hunt!
- Hmm.
48
00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:30,080
Perhaps you're right.
49
00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:34,080
- What do you suggest?
- For starters, this place needs a serious makeover.
50
00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:36,160
- A make what?
- A makeover.
51
00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:45,440
I'm terribly sorry I couldn't be of any further assistance, officer.
52
00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:47,880
Perhaps I could offer you a cup of blood...
53
00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:51,120
Tea! Tea! A cup of tea.
54
00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:55,000
Brilliant. Why don't we just put a big neon sign above the front door
55
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- saying "vampires live here"?
- Shhh.
56
00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,800
Silence!
57
00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:18,120
And where do you think you're going?
58
00:04:22,280 --> 00:04:23,800
Aaaaaaaargh!
59
00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:27,560
Oi! Bring that back.
60
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,920
Total eclipse, tomorrow.
61
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Will, it's me.
62
00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:44,200
Yeah, sorry I couldn't get out. My dad's being a right pain.
63
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:46,400
Listen, I've got to be quick.
64
00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:49,240
Can you meet me at the cinema tomorrow?
65
00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:51,560
One o'clock.
66
00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:53,680
Don't be late.
67
00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:04,520
I play golf.
68
00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:09,120
I enjoy cooking and holidays in the Lake District. And...
69
00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:12,440
Oh, come on, we've been doing this all night.
70
00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:15,280
No, I know this one...
71
00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:18,320
I think teenagers should be banned from wearing hoodies
72
00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:20,320
in shopping centres.
73
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:23,720
- Perfect.
- Then strung up and drained of every succulent
74
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drop of blood in their bodies.
75
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:30,280
This is hopeless. And that skull is not helping.
76
00:05:30,280 --> 00:05:33,520
- Or the bottle of blood.
- Or the talking wolf.
77
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I'll be in my basket.
78
00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:43,840
There's still a few hours before the police get here.
79
00:05:43,840 --> 00:05:46,080
I think this place needs...
80
00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:48,880
brightening up. Just keep practicing.
81
00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:51,120
Relax, Vladdy.
82
00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:52,960
This is my lucky tie.
83
00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:05,280
One, please.
84
00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:07,800
ID.
85
00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:15,240
Date of birth, 1990.
86
00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:18,400
Yep, that all seems to check out.
87
00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:25,640
This is a train ticket. With a child's fare. Next!
88
00:06:26,680 --> 00:06:29,400
Graham! The sink's blocked again!
89
00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:32,760
Thanks for coming over, Mina.
90
00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:37,520
No, thank you. I like living in Stokely, but there's not an awful lot to do socially.
91
00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:41,280
Not that that bothers Eric. He's a complete workaholic these days.
92
00:06:41,280 --> 00:06:44,400
Can you believe he's over at the school now marking papers?
93
00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:47,040
- On a Saturday? Well, that's dedication.
- Exactly.
94
00:06:56,920 --> 00:07:00,000
Ha! In your face, vampire scum!
95
00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:14,720
Jonathan! I thought we'd agreed, this place is out of bounds!
96
00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:16,480
I'm sorry, I just wanted to...
97
00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:19,600
Wait a minute. What are you doing here, then?
98
00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:22,040
I was, er...
99
00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:24,280
tidying the weapons away.
100
00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:29,440
Look, I know how difficult this must be for you, Jonno.
101
00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:32,720
But if I can give up slaying, then you can too.
102
00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:35,920
I only wanted a disguise.
103
00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:38,920
A disguise? Well, why didn't you say so?!
104
00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:42,000
Let me see.
105
00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:48,600
I'd say you're about a size eight?
106
00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:52,040
Oh, yes.
107
00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:56,320
- Are you sure you want all this?
- Oh, yeah.
108
00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:59,840
This is great. That policeman won't suspect a thing.
109
00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:02,640
Must be pretty serious if the police are involved?
110
00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:05,920
I'm sure he's innocent. Dad's only ever brought back rabbits.
111
00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:08,440
Maybe a sheep if it's a special occasion.
112
00:08:08,440 --> 00:08:10,440
- Is that a crime?
- Come on, you lot.
113
00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:12,760
Let's get this stuff shifted.
114
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:18,760
See you, Chloe.
115
00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:25,040
We'll have this place looking lovely in no time.
116
00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:50,600
Look at the size of these CDs!
117
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Agadoo.
118
00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:56,600
Line Dancing Legends.
119
00:08:56,600 --> 00:09:00,080
You don't think it's too much, do you?
120
00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:03,040
You might be arrested for crimes against cool.
121
00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:06,720
Robin, this is serious. We could get chased out of town again.
122
00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:09,600
If anyone found out Dad was a...
123
00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:14,760
- Your dad's what?
- He's a... You know... He's a...
124
00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:18,200
Come on, Vlad. If your father's in trouble you can tell me.
125
00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:21,880
I can't keep this a secret any longer.
126
00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:23,560
The truth is, Dad's...
127
00:09:23,560 --> 00:09:25,760
Hunting?
128
00:09:25,760 --> 00:09:29,440
- That's why he's in trouble with the police.
- You could say that.
129
00:09:29,440 --> 00:09:31,280
Line dancing?
130
00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:33,040
That's not bad.
131
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:36,160
Tell that to the people who chased them out of their last village.
132
00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:40,440
Usual thing, I suppose? Illegal traps.
133
00:09:40,440 --> 00:09:45,520
- No licence?
- Er yeah, it's horrible.
134
00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:51,600
Foxes, rabbits, pigeons. He'll eat anything.
135
00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:55,480
Goodness! Well, we're a lot more open-minded here.
136
00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:58,520
I've always fancied trying it out myself.
137
00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:02,160
Maybe we could set up a group, arrange some classes?
138
00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:05,160
Great! Dad'll be thrilled.
139
00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:11,840
I'm not sure.
140
00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:15,400
- Try the peach one again.
- I've told you, Dad, I'm not wearing a dress!
141
00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:17,640
I just want to look older.
142
00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:20,080
You've got to have something here.
143
00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:27,680
I don't want to know.
144
00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:29,280
Escapology, Jonno.
145
00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:38,000
In our line of work, it's inevitable that we'll be captured and tied up.
146
00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:49,400
Here, check those.
147
00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:55,960
That was cool.
148
00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:59,480
You think that was good? Hand me that straitjacket!
149
00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:11,000
Ooh. You'll never guess what dark secret our Mr Count is hiding.
150
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:12,520
Chloe told me.
151
00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:16,360
I've always thought there was something unwholesome about him.
152
00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:21,040
- Graham, don't be such a kill-joy. I think it sounds like fun.
- Fun!
153
00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:24,240
In fact, I think I'll give Mina a call.
154
00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:27,800
I'm sure she'd be up for trying something new, even if you're not.
155
00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:36,240
Is that five minutes yet?
156
00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:39,680
20. Dad, I'm gonna be late.
157
00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:45,480
The dress, Jonno! Take the dress!
158
00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:48,440
- It never fails.
- Whatever.
159
00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:55,000
Yes, yes! Yes!
160
00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:05,520
Vlad!
161
00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:07,840
Sorry, I'm just a bit nervous.
162
00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:12,200
Relax. Your dad's going to do his innocent breather routine,
163
00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:14,840
and Ingrid's safely tucked up in her coffin.
164
00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:16,640
What can go wrong?
165
00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:20,400
- Later, losers.
- See ya.
166
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:23,480
Yeah, you're right. I'm worrying about nothing.
167
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:32,640
Five, four, three, two, one.
168
00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:44,040
Ingrid!
169
00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:47,160
It's only one o'clock! What's going on?
170
00:12:47,160 --> 00:12:48,960
It's the total eclipse, innit.
171
00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:50,520
Didn't you see it on the news?
172
00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:55,200
Probably should've mentioned that.
173
00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:59,920
- Yeah.
- Afternoon. - Oh, hello! Just watching the eclipse.
174
00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:04,040
Right nuisance. Brings out all the weirdos.
175
00:13:04,040 --> 00:13:06,520
Have we met before?
176
00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:27,840
I'll just get my dad. Er, make yourself comfortable.
177
00:13:37,880 --> 00:13:39,440
It'll be fine.
178
00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:43,080
Dad'll deal with the police. I'll find Ingrid and...
179
00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:49,880
- Dad? Dad!
- He's got to be here somewhere.
180
00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:52,440
Unless...
181
00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:57,760
The eclipse!
182
00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:05,160
- DOORBELL RINGS
- Come in! The door's open!
183
00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:07,240
Ow! Ow! Ahhhhhh.
184
00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:11,680
What a nice surprise, Mr Count. We were just coming to see you.
185
00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:13,320
Really?
186
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:15,800
- Woo-hoo!
- Through here, Mina!
187
00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:21,560
Now, there's no need to be embarrassed.
188
00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:24,840
Vlad told me all about your dark secret!
189
00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:27,440
Oh, he did, did he? So what are you going to do?
190
00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:30,080
Spread it around town? Sharpen your pitchforks?
191
00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:34,360
- No, we'd like to join you.
- We were just saying only this morning
192
00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:37,880
how difficult it is to find exciting things to do in Stokely.
193
00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:40,600
And I've got plenty of other friends I could rope in
194
00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:42,600
if we need any new blood!
195
00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:44,240
Blood?
196
00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:48,040
- Well, um...yes.
- How about today?
197
00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:51,480
Could we use the castle, Mr Count? There's not much room here.
198
00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:54,200
Yes. Fine.
199
00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:58,280
This really IS my lucky tie!
200
00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:02,800
Very nice.
201
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:12,200
One ticket for Vampire Vixen 3, please.
202
00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:16,400
- Ow!
- Next!
203
00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:22,200
- Two tickets to Vampire Vixen 3, please?
- Stop stressing, Vlad.
204
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:25,360
Stop stressing?! There's a policeman upstairs
205
00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:28,520
and two fully-grown vampires running loose in Stokely.
206
00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:32,720
You don't know that. Your dad might have been fried to a crisp by now.
207
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,200
Sorry.
208
00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:38,280
At least it can't get any worse.
209
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:46,600
- Where did you get that hat, Renfield?
- It was a reward for good service.
210
00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:48,480
Renfield!
211
00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:52,440
Master told me to burn it, but I quite like it.
212
00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:55,560
Oh, no, he's really gone and done it now!
213
00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:59,280
Right, I'm gonna find Dad. Robin, stall the policeman.
214
00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:02,760
Renfield, get rid of that hat and have the day off!
215
00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:08,520
Day off? Day off.
216
00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:11,600
One, please.
217
00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:15,000
- Certainly, miss. That's �5.30.
- What?
218
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,680
�5.30.
219
00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:22,680
Yep, thank you. Enjoy the film.
220
00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:24,560
Thank you.
221
00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:27,600
Magazine, Madam?
222
00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:37,720
Vampire Vixen 3?!
223
00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:40,520
You've got to be kidding.
224
00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:42,640
We can go if you want.
225
00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:51,920
- Hi, Ingrid!
- Great!
226
00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:54,240
Don't mind if we sit here, do you?
227
00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:10,360
Don't fancy yours much.
228
00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:20,120
He won't be long. Trying to find his glasses.
229
00:17:20,120 --> 00:17:22,840
Are you sure we haven't met?
230
00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:30,560
April 2005. You reported seeing a UFO landing in Stokely Wood.
231
00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:32,280
Oh, yeah. That.
232
00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:35,000
Had all the emergency services out at three AM.
233
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:39,240
- Well, I definitely saw something.
- Not a single shred of evidence.
234
00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:40,840
Exactly!
235
00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:43,600
No evidence that there wasn't a UFO.
236
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:57,320
RINGING
237
00:17:57,320 --> 00:18:00,640
- Hello.
- Mina, Mina! Listen, it's me. I'm in a spot of bother.
238
00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:03,280
Eric, I can't talk now, I'm on my way up to the castle
239
00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:07,120
- with Elizabeth and Mr Count.
- No, no, no! Wait! Don't go to the castle.
240
00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:08,800
What d'you mean?
241
00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:11,960
Look, we've been through this before. I'll see you later.
242
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:16,560
No Mina! Wait! Mina! Mina, you're in danger!
243
00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:18,560
Arrghhhhh!
244
00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:42,080
CREAKING
245
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:45,560
Hello? Hello? Is anybody home?
246
00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:50,160
- SPOOKY FEMALE VOICE:
- Yes, can I help you?
247
00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:54,280
My car's broken down in the storm. I need to call for help.
248
00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:57,080
Yes, come inside.
249
00:18:57,080 --> 00:19:01,960
You're just...in time.
250
00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:04,520
- In time for what?
- For dinner!
251
00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:10,640
Why don't they just bite him and get it over with? They're so pathetic!
252
00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:13,840
I dunno. I think they're pretty hot!
253
00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:15,680
Sorry, but I do.
254
00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:17,920
I'd love to go out with a vampire.
255
00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:21,120
Attractive and deadly.
256
00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:24,200
- What a great combination!
- Shhhhh!
257
00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:34,040
Off we go, then!
258
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:37,840
Mr Count, can I have a word?
259
00:19:44,360 --> 00:19:46,520
I'm on to you!
260
00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:49,800
There are rules and laws in this country that must be abided by.
261
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:54,000
Just exactly what are you insinuating?
262
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:57,520
You can't just go around hunting and killing as you please.
263
00:19:57,520 --> 00:19:59,680
Ready, Mr Count?
264
00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:02,560
Yes, of course.
265
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,120
We'll see about that.
266
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:23,160
- More tea?
- No. But you can tell me where the toilet is.
267
00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:25,160
Could you hold it just a bit longer?
268
00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:27,120
I'm sure they won't be...
269
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:33,080
Right.
270
00:20:38,360 --> 00:20:40,960
Mr Branagh. Have you seen my dad?
271
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:44,640
You've just missed him. He took off.
272
00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:47,600
- Feeling guilty, I suppose.
- What?
273
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:49,440
It's barbaric, that's what it is.
274
00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:52,560
Bloodsports like that might be acceptable in Transylvania,
275
00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:54,840
- but not here.
- Look, you don't understand!
276
00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:58,640
So we come from Transylvania and live in a spooky old castle.
277
00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:00,840
But that doesn't mean we're vampires!
278
00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:06,800
Mr Branagh?
279
00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:32,000
I just thought he was hunting without a licence.
280
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:36,360
- Ah.
- Good grief! Elizabeth!
281
00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:40,400
- I've got to save her!
- Wait!
282
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:43,240
Come back!
283
00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:54,640
It's in here.
284
00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:59,240
There's a light in here somewhere, you've just got to...
285
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:02,000
Ah.
286
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:06,160
Sierra Oscar from 280 requesting immediate back-up.
287
00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:07,800
I repeat, immediate back-up.
288
00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:11,360
CRACKLY VOICE ON RADIO
289
00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:22,040
Will?
290
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:24,560
Did you mean what you said?
291
00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:27,160
About going out with a vampire?
292
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:29,840
Yeah, of course. Why?
293
00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:34,480
- There's something you should know about me.
- Mmmm?
294
00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:37,880
- I'm a vampire.
- Oh, OK.
295
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:41,240
No. Really. I am a vampire.
296
00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:45,400
I believe you.
297
00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:52,040
CRASHES
298
00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:54,960
- Aaargh!
- Aaargh! - Aaargh!
299
00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:59,200
- Where are you going?
- As far away from you as I can get!
300
00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:01,000
Ay ay. Looks like trouble!
301
00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:08,480
They fight. Then they kiss. What's that about?
302
00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:12,400
Women. Come on.
303
00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:22,280
Stop her! She's biting him, she's a vampire!
304
00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:24,600
Of course she is, it's a vampire film!
305
00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:26,200
No, her!
306
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:34,280
Come on you, out!
307
00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:52,560
They're vampires! D'you hear me?!
308
00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:55,920
Vampires! I'm coming, Elizabeth!
309
00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:58,760
Wait for me!
310
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:02,280
I'm a professional!
311
00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:12,520
LINE-DANCING MUSIC
312
00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:33,640
Officer! Arrest that...that vampire!
313
00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:36,040
Graham! Your making a spectacle of yourself.
314
00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:40,800
Oh, no. I've seen that look before. Where is he?
315
00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:43,160
Get away from him, Mina!
316
00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:46,120
Run! He's a vampire!
317
00:24:46,120 --> 00:24:48,040
You'll never change.
318
00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:51,520
I don't know why I believed you ever would.
319
00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:57,080
Who are you people?
320
00:24:57,080 --> 00:24:59,320
That's my dad.
321
00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:03,920
Ah. Makes sense. UFOs. Vampires.
322
00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:05,640
I can see where you get it.
323
00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:09,320
For your information, this man has single-handedly caught
324
00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:12,520
one of the most dangerous criminals in Britain.
325
00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:15,440
A man we've been after for years.
326
00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:18,760
You should be proud. Thanks to your dad,
327
00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:23,640
we can all sleep safely in our beds tonight. He's a hero.
328
00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:25,240
Hero?
329
00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:34,320
- I'm telling you, Dad, she was biting him right there!
- On the neck?
330
00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:37,400
- No, in the cinema!
- The vampire arrogance of it!
331
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:40,240
No question about it Jonno, they're getting out of control.
332
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:43,600
- We've got to do something.
- I intend to. Attacking a slayer is one thing.
333
00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:46,880
But preying on the blood of innocents is a different matter.
334
00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:49,680
- So it's war.
- And I know whose side I'd rather be on.
335
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:55,880
Jonno, load the guns.
336
00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:03,960
Good shot.
337
00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:13,720
You've disobeyed me, Ingrid.
338
00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:17,560
I am very...very angry.
339
00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:20,840
- What's that on your collar?
- Nothing.
340
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:24,360
Blood! Human blood.
341
00:26:24,360 --> 00:26:27,840
So? I've bitten a breather.
342
00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:31,720
I guess that makes me the only real vampire in this castle after all.
343
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:39,760
Never underestimate the Prince of Darkness.
344
00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:03,800
Mr Count! What a pleasant surprise.
345
00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:05,440
Yours, I believe?
346
00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:07,360
Of course. Thank you.
347
00:27:07,360 --> 00:27:10,560
Sorry for leaving in such a rush.
348
00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:13,400
Can I offer you a cup of tea?
349
00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:15,320
A bite to eat?
350
00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:18,400
Well...if you insist.
351
00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:20,200
Come on in.
352
00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:37,000
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
353
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:40,720
E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk
354
00:27:40,770 --> 00:27:45,320
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