All language subtitles for VeAz.Hi.Hegiaa.AKA.And.Then.She.Arrived.2017.DVDRip.x264-HANDJOB

I always thought
that by the time I was 30

I'd know what I want to be
when I grow up,

but I'm almost there
and I still have no idea.

I don't even do
my favorite thing, music,

anymore.

I once had a band
that did pretty well

but now I only take my guitar
out of the attic once a year,

at the beginning of the season.

You don't understand

You're just a little girl

What do they want from you?
Everyone calls your name

Don't be naive

In a red dress with two braids...

I'm a fan of Hapoel Haifa,

a pathetic team that hasn't won
a single title in 70 years.

Only magic can help the team
and that's exactly what I do,

year after year.

Why chicken soup?

Mom, it's 85 degrees out.

You have no right to complain.
You want noodles?

I want to die.

Did you go over tomorrow's case?

Go over it thoroughly
and don't forget the addenda.

Let's discuss it
after the game, okay?

What am I supposed to say?
- I told you,

ask the sister about the pasta.

Pasta.
- Mom, is there anything to eat

besides this tribute to Poland?

Why doesn't Miss Lazybones

cook her own food?

Tzila, they're just kidding.
They love your soup.

Kiss-ass.

Remember,

Carmel Gardens is saving me
three great dates in July

but we have to close ASAP.

Mom, stop trying to run our lives.

I thought you gave me
the green light.

Booboo, we did
give her the green light.

I don't discuss green lights
before a Reds game.

Dad. -What?

Uh-oh, first game of the season.
There'll be traffic.

You haven't eaten.

Okay, okay. Here.

Avrum, don't start with me.

Why didn't you say that
40 years ago?

Bye.

Let's go. -Mom.

Go Hapoel.

We're out of here.
We're on the field.

Dad...
- Give me the scarf.

Cut me some slack.

Haifa, Israel!

Go Hapoel!

Giovanni! Giovanni!

Giovanni!

Giovanni!

What's up?
- Ido.

Avrum. Did you bring
a sewing kit?

'Cause Rishon is gonna
tear us a new asshole.

Hey-ho!
- Hey-ho!

Shabbat Shalom, Schultzie.
- I'll get some snacks.

What's up?
- Hello.

What's it gonna be?
- Did you do the ritual?

It's gonna be a sensation.
We win, 3-0.

At least.

3-0, my word.

Schultzie knows what he's saying.

You know what?
If we win 3-0,

each of us does
whatever's hardest for him.

I won't touch a girl
for a whole week.

How about you?

I'll start playing guitar again.

Schultz?
- No hotdogs.

Giovanni!

Let's go, you guys.

This is the game.

This is it, buddy.

Go Hapoel, go Hapoel!

Go Reds!

Wow, the ritual worked.

I have to keep my vow.

I start playing tomorrow morning.

I hate driving to Jerusalem.

At least the hummus is good.

What's with you?
- What?

Sunday morning blues.

Are you worried about Judge Rosen?

Should I be?

You'll be fine.

Don't forget,
you're a Freilich.

Dad, let's put things
into perspective,

it's just some crummy case
you gave me for the experience,

I'm not...

climbing Mt. Everest.

With all due respect,
I can't see you climbing Mt. Everest.

You couldn't see me
as a musician, either.

Danny, music is a nice hobby
but it's no way to make a living.

You can't rely on it.

Look at John Lennon.
When I was a kid he was a superstar.

And now where is he?

Dead.

Exactly.

Dan, you're my son,
you're like me.

We aren't built for
extreme challenges.

Don't be so sure.

30 years with Mom's cooking...

Good point.

Help me with my tie.

That's your whole case?

My father ruined my life.
It all fits on three pages?

Don't worry,
these are just the summaries.

It's all in my son's head.

Your son?

This kid's about to...
- All rise!

Let's get down to business.

What's the next case that will change
the face of Israeli law?

Here, Kramer vs. Kramer.

You're kidding.

That's right, sir, and...

in this case, too,
she took the fridge and the dishwasher

and left my client
with the extension cord.

And you think that's funny?

In my courtroom
a bad joke is considered a crime.

What's the culprit's name?

Attorney Dan Freilich, sir.

Oh...

We have a dynasty of Haifans

who can't tie a necktie.

So you're here to lose
your virginity in my courtroom.

Something like that, sir.

Just don't expect me
to be gentle with you.

I'll try to live up to
Your Honor's standards.

Bon.

I call up the defendant
for cross-examination.

Freilich Junior,

she's all yours.

Ms. Naomi Kramer,

about a week before his death

your father changed his will and decided
to leave his house in Jerusalem

to you, not your brother.

Any idea why he made
such a dramatic change?

I've explained it a thousand times.

My father was very attached to me
in the past year.

Why, if I may ask,
was he so attached to you?

She explained that, too.

Ms. Kramer,

what was your father's
favorite dish?

I don't know. Schnitzel?

Wrong. Way off.

Your father was a pasta fiend.

Your Honor, I don't understand
the relevance of...

Shh...

Sit down, please,
Attorney Zilberstein.

Finally something interesting...

Ms. Kramer...

Silence!

Go, Freilich, go.

Ms. Kramer,

do you remember what kind of pasta
your father particularly liked?

Bolognese?

Pesto.

Oh, right.

I made it for him lots of times.

No, you didn't.

Because if you had,

he would've died.

Your father had a rare,
severe allergy to pine nuts.

Your Honor, I object...

Shh...

You surprise me,
young Freilich.

In fact, I could use some pasta.

I, by the way,
am not allergic to anything,

besides lawyers.

I knew you had the Freilich in you.

Shall we celebrate?

Something to eat?

Pasta?

You should've been a comedian, Dad.

Tell me about it.

We're doing pretty well.

Yesterday we beat Rishon,
today we won the case,

third time...

What is your problem?!

Sorry, sorry...
- Don't bother.

How embarrassing.
I'll get you another shirt.

It's all right.
- Wait a minute.

What nerve!

It happens. She's only human.

Here.

I'd die before I'd wear that shirt.

Hapoel fan?

Hapoel Haifa.

Never heard of it.
- Shall we?

Wait a minute.

Listen,

you can order anything you want,

on the house.

You won't regret it.

You really think we're staying?

Wait. What's your name?
- Dan.

Dan, I'm Meirav.
Nice to meet you.

Please don't go.

My boss is out to get me
as it is.

I'll get you another shirt.

A decent one. Red.

Okay, sweetie, we'll stay.

What? -What?

Really? Thank you so much.
I'm sorry...

what a mess.

So what are you doing
in Jerusalem?

We're lawyers.
We came for a hearing.

No way, you're a godsend!

I need a lawyer.

Listen,

my mom's in trouble
with the police.

Don't get me wrong,
she's an angel.

It's all our Indian neighbor's fault...

You have to help me.

Gladly, but...

Do you have any money?

Let's just say I'm a Barashi.

The contractors?
- Mm-hm.

And they're always looking for
a good lawyer.

Know any?

Okay, okay.

Sounds interesting, actually,

the police, an Indian neighbor...

Weren't you looking for
excitement, Tarzan?

In the sky

Gray clouds

The chambers of my heart close...

I can't hear you!

Like a neighbor
without a neighborhood

Like a fool...

Did you talk to Tamar?

About what?

Oh, your startup. I forgot.

Today.

I'll talk to her after the show.

So humiliated

Like a neighbor...

Thank you, I'm Nurit Schwartz,
good night.

What was that about?

Good night?
You have another half-hour.

Sorry, the audience isn't on
my wavelength.

Then adjust your antenna.

Sarcasm is the last refuge
of the insensitive.

And fat people.

That wasn't very nice.

Dude, you have to get up and sing.

Are you crazy?

No, dude.

Music Night is going
down the drain.

Sorry, Schultzie, I can't.

Why not?

Go on.
- Sorry, Schultzie.

Just one song.
- Maybe you'll enjoy it.

No way. Are you nuts?

Friends,

I want to call up
Haifa's pride and joy.

He took Aba Hushi House by storm,

he was Dado Beach's biggest attraction,

and now, after a two-year hiatus,

he's finally reuniting with himself.

Let's hear it
for Dan Freilich!

Freilich!

Just sing a song
and get it over with.

Come on.
- No way!

I don't want to.

Okay, fine.

You're the man.

Go for it.

Hi.

Well...

I apologize in advance,

this was unexpected,

embarrassing, even.

Since I'm young
I really go to town

Since I'm a beginner
I'm learning to be a winner

Since I'm hungry
I'm hungry for love

Since I can
I have to burn everything, man

Don't get mad at me

I know I should

I want to hold back
but everything tastes so good

Don't try me

I'm a selfish fart

Be good to me

I'll break your heart

Don't get mad at me

I know I should...

Wow, he's awesome.

Sorry for saying this,
but he's really sexy on stage.

Yeah, I totally forgot.

I mean, I didn't forget, but...

he's awesome.

Don't get mad at me

Don't get mad at me...

Thank you.

You're an amazing audience.

Thank you.

You're so talented
I could eat you up.

Didn't I tell you you'd miss it?

What's the big deal?
You're all drunk.

Idiot.

When will you realize
you ought to be a singer?

When will you realize
you ought to be a lawyer?

A lawyer?

I'm in a stupid play tomorrow.

Noga, so you're an actress now.

I always said you had
an actress's face.

It's a puppet show, Ido.

I bet you have
the prettiest puppet.

Hey, my sister is off limits.

I'm getting a drink.

Noga is family.
Just practicing.

You're gross. Do you hit on
anything that moves?

Who says they have move?

Hold on, we said if we win 4-0
you'd give it up.

Oh, yeah? How many hours
have you played this week?

I'll tell you something.
- What?

If we win this Saturday, too,

it's a sign from God.

Let's renew our vows. Okay?

But seriously this time.
I'm dieting until the wedding.

Me like.

I'll go on a romantic date
that doesn't end in bed.

Me like.
- And you, Joselito?

If we win,

I won't go to work
on Sundays,

I'll just work on my music.
- Nice.

I can't believe how much
I missed it.

That's great.

Giovanni!

Me, join Ido's startup?

That half-assed Don Juan?

Dream on.

Remember we're going to
Carmel Gardens on Sunday?

For Pete's sake,
don't give me that face.

I can't handle
all your mom's trips either,

but we said we'd get it over with
this summer

so let's just do it.

Besides, we already have
a wedding singer and he's hot.

So it turned you on
to see me on stage.

Totally. Brought back memories.

''Want to be my muse?
The position's available.''

No, you.

''Can I have your autograph...
everywhere?"

You never signed.

You know what that means?

No.

I owe you an autograph.

No way!

Stop it!

No, Dan!

No, that tickles!
- To the lovely Tamar...

Cut it out!

You are the queen of Haifa.

Bialik.

Freilich.

Dad.

I don't think I'll come in tomorrow.

No problem.
You're in Jerusalem tomorrow.

Jerusalem?

Remember the waitress
with the ice cream?

Then we'll postpone
the meeting.

I can't make it tomorrow.

The police are questioning her mother
on Monday. We have to prepare her.

I need you in the office

but we have to show the Barashis
we're serious, right?

When this case is over I do
nothing but music on Sundays.

Hey!

That was lucky.

I'm out of Beitar jerseys.

Right...

Riki Gal, huh?

I'm crazy about her.

I know all her songs.

Oh, yeah?

''With little grief
and painless anguish...''

''Because next to the dead
time buries sadness.''

Very good.

What did you expect?

A Zohar Argov fan?

I actually admire Zohar Argov.

I'm sure he'd admire you
for admiring him.

Alright...

What now?
Sit down and talk?

Shit, I forgot to tell you,
my whole schedule is upside-down

and I'm in the middle...

Would it be out of line
to ask you to come back later?

Why didn't you call?

I'm so sorry,

You're right, I just...

They'll kill me if I take
a break now.

But you're about to kill me too.

Darn...

Oh, all right.

But at 3:00 on the dot.

You're sweet. Thanks.

Hi.

Time flies when you're
having fun, huh?

Change of plans.

Not another cancellation.

It's too busy here.

Let's talk at my house,

my mom can tell you
the whole story.

And if you're nice

you might get something to eat.

I'm parked right over here.

Are you crazy?

With all the Jerusalem traffic?

Come on.

Hi.

Hi, honey.
- What's up?

So glad you could make it.

Nice to meet you, I'm Edna.

Hello, I'm Dan.

Dan. God bless you.

What'll you have?

I have dumplings, meatballs,
beans, or everything.

No, no...
- You're so skinny.

No, no thanks.

Ms. Levi, I'm not hungry, and...

I'm running late.

Oh, stop it.

Get to the point, Mom.

Tell him what happened.

One morning I go to
the parking lot

and my Fiat's covered with
this gross red paint

that won't wash off.

I knew it was my Indian neighbor,

that Itchikidana,
she uses that kind of paint

for her witchcraft.

Witchcraft?

Yeah, everybody knows she's a witch.

Anyway, I hid behind the car
and waited for her...

Sit down, it won't cost you.

Careful.

Anyway, I hid behind the car

and the second she showed up
I attacked her.

You attacked her?

Verbally, not physically.

Wait. You threatened her?

Of course not.

I told her:

I hope you die,

go back to India,

I hope they turn you into
chicken tikka.

Mom...

???

Here. It's hot.
Eat up, honey.

Enjoy. -Thanks.

And then what happened?

Wow. This is delicious.

Enjoy.

I told you so.
And that's just for starters.

So what happened then?

She came up to me
with a huge plank,

I pushed her away,

she fell and bruised
her leg a little,

finito.

Why would the police
believe her?

Because the duty officer
is her nephew.

He's Indian, too. Disgusting.

Mom, cut it out.

What am I supposed to do?

They want me to come in
for questioning tomorrow.

Can you find the plank
so they can take fingerprints?

I'll go see if it's still there.

Good. Any witnesses?

Yeah. There's Frieda the redhead

who's always staring out the window.
- The Persian.

Sari the Persian
who does surveillance every morning.

I'll talk to them.
- Great.

See?

We're already making progress.

Some dumplings might help me
come up with more ideas.

Eat all you like.
Bless your soul.

I'll get you some.
- Don't wolf it down.

Wow.

Wow. That was amazing.

Where's the...

The bathroom?

The door on the right, dear.

Thanks.
- No problem.

He's sweet.

He's a geek.

Geeks are the best.

Women who are fire
need men who are water.

But water and oil don't mix.

Once the oil realizes
what she's worth

everyone will want
to mix with her.

You could've texted me.

I didn't know what to tell
the Carmel Gardens lady.

And I was worried.

Sorry.

I left my phone in the car

and those two nutcases
blabbered on for hours.

What a lousy case.

But do we have to run around
to tastings

just because my mom's uptight?

It's not just your mom,

if you do something, do it right.

We decided to get married,

so for Pete's sake,
stop acting

like it's army duty.

Where did that come from?

Remember how you proposed?

''Want to get it over with?''

Remember how you answered?

''Cool.''

Well, I need more than ''cool.''

Cool.

Come on, grumpy,
it'll be awesome.

I rescheduled for next week.

Be there, okay?

Cool.

Goal! -Goal!

What a game...

You think they can

keep up this amazing roll?

Depends on our vows.

I think I need a different vow.

A different vow?

Remember your performance?
The crowd loved you.

Listen,

if I do music, I do it all the way.

God gives steak to the toothless, huh?

How can you eat steak
with no teeth?

You can't.

Start with Sundays. Why not?

It's been ages since I saw you

as happy as you were on stage.

Dad.

Dad, I've decided to work on
my music

so I'm not coming in to work
on Sundays any more.

Fine, don't come in.
You're going to Jerusalem.

Jerusalem again?

The cops didn't buy
your Kurdish friend's story,

she has a face-off
with the neighbor

and you have to prepare her.
- Fine.

But not tomorrow.

You think this is
the Request Hour?

That the police will wait
until Attorney Freilich

is finished playing his guitar?

Get the case over with.

And set me up a meeting
with Barashi.

Okay.

There are other days in the week.

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

I'm sorry.

My mom always goes overboard
when she sees her family.

Ever heard of

being on time?

We take things easy.
You should try it.

We'll just stay a little while.

Come on.

Hey, Kobi.

Hey, Meirav, what's up?

Hello, beautiful. How are you?

Don't slip!

Oh, hello.

What's up?

How's it going?

Hi, babe.

How's it going, sweetheart?

All good.

Let me introduce you.
This is Ami's Cheli.

Hi.
- This is Mayor's Cheli.

I'm Dan.
- This is Edna's Cheli,

this is Ami's Kobi,

this is Itzik's Kobi,

this is Edna's Kobi,

and this is Itzik's Cheli.

You're joking, right?

Why are you all named
either Kobi or Cheli?

Our grandpa's named Yaakov
and our grandma's named Rachel.

So?
- What do you mean, so?

It's in their honor.

Except for her mother,
who's too high and mighty.

I heard that.

Why, am I a primitive
like your mother?

I decided to give my daughter
a nice modern name.

She and her daughter are our token
Ashkenazis. You'll feel at home.

Why Ashkenazis?
- Look how this princess dresses,

she has to make her own clothes.

You forgot that the princess
hemmed your skirt.

Come on, let's go.

Wait, you made that dress yourself?

No, Cheli helped me.

Kobi's Cheli or Itzik's Cheli?

Idiot. I did it myself.

Dan, my mom is going to
serve you moussaka,

spicy as hell,

and the whole neighborhood
is coming to watch you eat it.

Haven't you ever seen
an Ashkenazi here before?

The closest we've had

is a poster of Bibi
before the elections.

You don't have to take part
in this circus.

Let's have some moussaka.

Why'd you have to do that?

It's not the spicy food.

I have spastic bronchitis.

Even his diseases have
Ashkenazi names.

Keep it to yourself,
Miss Ashkenaz.

What a sweetie.

Why can't you catch
a sweetie like him?

Mom,

this sweetie is a lawyer who has to
prepare you for a face-off.

She's right.

Look, Edna,

the Indian will try
to throw you off guard,

to piss you off.

She doesn't stand a chance.

I'll put on my poker face.

We both know it's not hard
to piss you off.

Don't make me mad!

A simulation?

Yes. Good.

Ready, Edna?
- Yes.

Ms. Levi, you're a liar
just like the rest of your family.

What are you doing?

Just trying to make it authentic.

God help me...

From the top.
- Okay.

Ready? -Yes.
- Okay.

Ms. Levi, you're a liar
just like your mother.

You're trying to rile me up

but it won't work.

You know why not?

Because I'm smarter than you,

I didn't grow up in the treetops.
- No, no,

no insults. But keep
the tone of voice, the smile.

I was acting in self-defense.

I just wanted to stop you
from hitting me with a stick.

I'm innocent.

I'm an innocent victim
of the system.

Good.
- Very good.

Here, Dan.
- Very good.

Okay.

Want a little punch
to warm you up?

No, I have to drive
back to Haifa.

I'll pack you some milk for the road.

Come on, have a little fun.

Is your girlfriend
worried about you? -Whoa,

I really am late.

Damn.
- She keeps you on a short leash, huh?

Meirava!

Hey.

Wait inside,
I'll be right there, okay?

Aren't you going to introduce me to
the hardest-working lawyer in Israel?

Nice to meet you. Dan.

You're right,

it is late.

My name's Angel
and you're helping my baby here.

We're both angels.

Wait for me inside, okay?
- Okay.

Your boyfriend?

More or less. It's unclear.

I hope it clears up.

So...

have a nice life.

You got a lesson in
anthropology today, huh?

Do the Indian accent again.

No...
- Come on, last time.

No way...
- Please.

I really have to go.

Hilarious.

You know what?

From now on

you're Itchikidan.

Good night, Itchikidan.

Hello?

Hi, Mom.

What now?

Yeah, he's just leaving.

Not only didn't he show up,
he isn't even picking up.

That's men for you.

You know what you have to do now.

What?

An ultimatum.

Either we pick a place and date
right now,

or we take a break.

Three months.

It's the only way.

It worked with his father.

Avrum came back on all fours.

An ultimatum?
Isn't that a little extreme?

After all, times have changed.

Nothing's changed since primitive man
scratched his balls outside a cave

while his wife cooked mammoth
for the whole tribe.

Men can't decide for themselves.
That's why they need us.

Don't you see that if you don't
shake him up, it'll never happen?

What is this?

What's in here?

Everything you need
for three months.

This was my mom's idea, right?
- Of course not.

Give me a little credit.

Men can't decide for themselves.

Since when do you understand men?
- It's about time I did.

Can you lay off the pressure?

You want me to move back in
with my parents at 30?

I want you to come see
the place with me,

if you hadn't stood me up twice
you'd know how gorgeous it is.

Let's just pick a date
and get it over with.

Listen,

I refuse to decide
with you holding a gun to my head.

There once was
a spoiled prince

who had a backache.

You know why, kids?

I don't want to get married.

So the princess said to him:

For Pete's sake,
you don't want to get married?

Then go back to
your parents' palace,

to King Avrum and Queen Tzila.

I'm glad you find it funny.

You know,

it's a good thing.

Finally somebody's
shaking your tree.

I wish it'd happen
with your music, too.

I started playing again.

Oh, please...

I chose to be a lawyer
and that's that.

You're just like me
but the other way around.

You love law and you're great at it.

You should be a lawyer.

I'm happy where I am.

Yeah, sure.
You hate doing kiddie shows.

I actually like the shows.
It's the kids I can't stand.

But I couldn't stand
taking exams now.

Then sit.

How's the dating scene?

Dry as a desert.

How about you?

Are you allowed to go out
with other girls?

I don't know.

It's only been a month,
we haven't even discussed it.

Maybe we should ask
the genius who thought it up.

Mom, is Dan allowed to fuck other girls
before he crawls back to Tamar?

Go wash your mouth out
with soap.

And do the dishes
while you're at it.

And you take out the garbage.

We went over this,

you knew she'd try to piss you off

so you throttle her
right in front of the officer?

She put a spell on me.

Not that crap again.

Tell me once and for all,

what do you mean,
she's a witch?

What does she do?

She hangs up chickens' heads
and talks mumbo-jumbo.

Does it work?

It works on the chickens.

And everyone's afraid of her.

And mainly
of that red water of hers.

The water she poured on your car?
- Yeah.

Hold on,

did you have any run-ins before?

She swore at her,
and she hates being threatened.

Just a minute.

What?

What's that?

You know how to use this?

No, I'm an imbecile.

You press here, okay?

Take this and keep taking pictures.
- What for?

Come with me.

I don't get it.
- Where are you going?

Where to?

Where does the Indian woman live?

Right upstairs.

But tell me what you're doing.

Are you crazy?
- Start shooting when I give the signal.

She'll give you the Evil Eye!

Are you crazy?

He doesn't get it!

You'll never get pregnant!
- Edna!

She's out of her mind!

I'm not coming!

Hello, ma'am.
I'm Attorney Dan Freilich

and I'm here to tell you

that if you don't stop cutting off
chicken heads

I'll have to report you
to the authorities...

That will never come off. Never.

And we have it on our camera.

You're going to jail, ma'am.

Unless...

you drop the false charges
against Edna.

Exactly.
- And stay away from her. Forever.

Alright.

Who do you think you are...

Thanks.

Meir Ariel, Shalom Hanoch,

Mati Caspi.

I'm impressed.

Again?

Who do you admire now?
Haim Moshe?

Take your shirt off.

I just don't want you
messing up my room.

You know the drill,

a Beitar jersey.

I'd say you're a medium in Golf

but a large in Topper.

Perfect fit.
How did you...?

Men are easy.
Height and chest.

You're 5'9'', 36'' in the chest.

Okay, okay,

height is easy and you made up
the chest measurement.

Oh, yeah?

I can tell you your
shoulder measurement, too.

Turn around.

Turn around.

17 inches.

Nothing special.

Start doing pushups.

How do you know...?

I've been sewing all my life.

What? What?
- Hello.

So this is where you make
all your gorgeous dresses.

Wow.

Where did you study?

The school of life.

And Burda.

It really is amazing.

What's the big deal?

Doesn't your girlfriend dress up?

Sure she does.

And she steals my army t-shirts.

My condolences.

Did you ever think of
going professional?

Selling your dresses?

I sell to my neighbors,
my cousins.

No, I mean to franchises.

Chain stores.

Chain stores?
What are you thinking?

I tried, okay?

They threw me out on my ass,

they wouldn't talk to anyone
who didn't study fashion design.

So study fashion design.
- ''So study fashion design.''

I have to help my mom
make a living.

You think I like waitressing
at that dump?

If you really want something
you can get it.

Where are you from?

''The Fisherman and his Wife''?

I'm just saying you're super talented.

And...

you have a beautiful smile.

Flatterer.

I'm crazy about this song.

Me too.

I always thought if I made
a romantic movie

this would be playing

when the heroes kiss.

Sorry, I...

That guy you saw, Angel,
it's still up in the air.

Right. You're right.

You're absolutely right. I...

Sorry.

Well, I'll...

I'll be going.

Bye.

Your shirt.

Why are you doing that?

So I can do this.

What's the matter?

My boyfriend acts like a big man
but hides behind the door.

You want everyone to see?

Yes!

I get it.

Why the bad ''mode''?

It's ''bad mood,'' Angel.
Learn Hebrew already.

I know. It rhymes.

Unload your bad mode.

Like...

''All the girls
want diamonds and pearls.''

Moron.
- Watch out, Eyal Golan.

What's the matter?

Who pissed you off, mi amor,
the lawyer?

What's the lawyer got to do with it?

Too bad you're being this way.

Actually...

I was going to tell you something.

Something good.

Here, read this.

''The State of Israel,
Ministry of Welfare.''

What is this?

I thought it was a reservation
for a suite at the Hilton. -Hold on...

Listen.

''The child's emotional state

''has improved drastically.

''The tantrums have almost
ceased completely.''

Liamie?

''Thanks to his devoted father
who found a way to his heart.''

Angelico,

this is amazing!

My sweet sensitive man.

I yelled at you and you were
waiting to show me this?

I'm so happy for you.

You should be happy
for yourself, too.

Remember we said that you and me...

So now that Liamie's okay...
- Si.

You and me, querida, forever.

Hamsa, hamsa, hamsa.

What does ''hamsa'' mean, anyway?

This is a hamsa.

A hand.

Then what's the other hand called?

Bless your soul...

Schultzie, you're a genius.

A genius.

The sound system sounds fantastic.

Let's launch it at
your comeback concert.

No comeback concerts.
- Why not?

Chill, all of you.

But I have started playing again.

Someone here takes his vow seriously.

Excuse me? I've lost 15 lbs.

I'm a babe now.

What?

I haven't gotten laid in two weeks!

I even started auditioning
for true love.

I met a girl yesterday.

And...?

She...

isn't the right one,

but I'll meet someone.

I met a girl too.

Are you serious?

A client.

I represented her on a case and...

as it happens...

we kissed.

Get out.
- You're kidding.

Spill the beans.
Age, address, bust size?

Her name is Meirav.
She's from Jerusalem.

Could be worse.

She's Kurdish.

Whoa...
- What?

Nothing.
- What?

No, what?
- Watch out.

What do you mean?
- Kurdish girls are the hottest in bed.

Really?
- You know why?

To make up for their lousy reputation.

I know what I'm saying.

I don't know what to do.

The case is closed,
I have no reason to go back.

Why are you kissing
Kurds from Jerusalem?

Why don't you go back to Tamar?
Don't you love her?

Give him a break,
she threw him out.

What's with Tamar, anyway?
- I don't know.

We haven't talked in a month.

But you haven't broken up.

Give him a break,

he has two months left,

let the guy check things out

so he doesn't regret missing out
for the rest of his life.

Hey, cutie,

I hope you're well,

call me back when you can.

Hey Tamar, it's Ido,

I hope you aren't sitting around
slitting your wrists.

That would be a real waste,

and besides, I need you
for my startup.

Anyway, talk to me
and make us both rich.

Just a sec.

One second.

Hi.

Sorry for dropping by without notice.

Not at all,

drop away. Come in.

I heard your message

and I wanted to let you know
I didn't slit my wrists.

What about the rest of your body?

Just kidding. Come in,

I'm just watching

a fascinating show
on the Science Channel,

they've got good stuff.

Shall we discuss
your famous startup?

What's your hurry?
A little pleasure before business.

Come on in,

make yourself at home,
take off your coat,

don't be shy.

What'll the princess have?

I'll have instant coffee, silly.
- Instant.

A drop of coffee
and lots of milk?

How did you know?
- That's what you look like,

a sweet treat.

Wow...

what's that smell?
I love your cologne.

Dan never uses cologne.

That didn't stop the Kurdish chick.

What was that?

There's this client who's always
complimenting him on his smell,

that's all.

Ido, for Pete's sake,
what's going on?

I'm his friend,

I've said too much already.

Ido, what's going on?

He's having a fling,
I don't know all the details.

What a jerk. He couldn't wait.

Aren't you taking a break?

It's okay to play the field.

Never even occurred to me.

What did he say?

He said she's...

sexy as hell.

I told him she can't be sexier
than you.

That's sweet, but you don't
have to console me.

Who's consoling?

Whenever I see you
in those huge shirts

that accentuate
your amazing body...

Dan hates those shirts.

Dan is an idiot.

Can you believe it?
We beat Beitar Jerusalem!

You hear what I'm saying?

Go liberate the Western Wall!

Giovanni! Giovanni!

Mrs. Tuito,

you work in the nursing home
where Mr. Kramer lived, correct?

Yes. -Good.
Now please tell the court

what you heard Ms. Kramer
tell her father about her brother.

She kept saying Roni doesn't visit,
Roni doesn't love his father,

Roni says he's a bad father...

Roni, Roni, Roni.

Roni, you say...

A musical interlude.

Carry on, Freilich.
- Yes, Your Honor.

And what did your boss say to do
when Mr. Kramer, my client,

came to visit him?

He told me to tell Roni that his father
was asleep or didn't feel well

so he'd go home.

That's what she told him to do.

I think they were having an affair.

Objection, Your Honor.

That's hearsay.

The nursing home director testified here
and there was no mention of such a thing.

Your Honor, that's another matter.

That's not true.
- What is true, young Freilich,

is if you don't bring me
solid evidence

you can use this file
as toilet paper.

I'll just draw those cute puppies
on it first, Your Honor.

Oh, Freilich,

we've already established that you and
humor have a very shaky relationship.

Go find proof.

Go, Freilich, go.

You'll have to go to the nursing home
and find proof

that there were official instructions
not to let Roni Kramer in.

It's too late for today.

Go tomorrow morning.

Dad...

Dad, that's a great idea.

It's silly to go all the way
to Haifa and back,

I could get a room
here in Jerusalem

and go there first thing
in the morning.

And it's tax deductable.

Judge Rosen is having
a good influence on you.

I'll take a taxi home.
You take the car.

And do me a favor,

eat in a decent restaurant

so your mother doesn't say
you're too skinny.

She's worried about
your sister as it is.

Noga? Why?

She slips out at night,
she's acting strange.

God knows
what'll become of that girl.

Don't worry, Dad,
I'll put her back on track.

It'll be okay.

Hello. -Hey.

It's Dan.

Itchikidan.

Hi. -Hey.

How's...

how's the Indian doing?

Fine. Haven't heard from her
all week.

Maybe she switched to vipassana.

Uh... Listen,

I'm here in Jerusalem

and I was thinking...

we might get together.

I'm not sure that's a good idea.

No kissing, I promise.

I mean,
not that I didn't enjoy it...

I'm working this afternoon.

That's okay, I've become an expert
at wasting time in Jerusalem.

How's it going?

Hi.

Hi.

Does that...

keep you warm?

Wow.

Like an oven.

I made it.

I can ride with nothing on
underneath.

Kidding.

Oh, hello, young Freilich.

Still in the holy city?

Hello, Judge Rosen,

I'm... running errands.

Can you introduce me
to your errands?

Meirav Levi. Pleased to meet you.

Enchant?.

He's a good guy.

A little sleepy,
but you could wake him up.

Nice errands, Freilich.

Nice errands.

He's a district court judge.

So...

How's...

How's the Indian?

You already asked.
What's up?

I'm tired. I'm dying to get home.

Why did you drag me here?

It's a romantic spot.

I mean, not that I...

I wanted to talk to you.

About a certain situation
between two adults which...

became, at a certain point,
more...

intimate.

What language was that?
Lawyerish?

Just say ''we kissed."

Will you join me for dinner?

I'm busy.
- Okay.

I'm going to
the Jordan Valley tomorrow.

I'm working on a case.

Will you come with me?

The Jordan Valley?
What did you lose there?

It's beautiful there now.

All the...

diffodales are in bloom now.

What are we looking for
in this nursing home?

Official instructions
by the management

not to let my client
visit his father.

I think his sister bribed the director.

Fascinating.

Want a sandwich?

I've got egg,

cheese or salami.

My mom made them just for you.

Your mom?

Your mom is amazing.

I'll have egg.

Here... you... go.

Thank you.

Hold on...

Hello?

Hi, Mom.

Yes, he went for the egg,
you were right.

She's asking if you like it.

Edna...

Edna, it's delicious.

More hot sauce next time.

Bye, Mom.

Let me handle this.

Hello.

Can you help me, sweetie?

I'm making a memorial album
for my late uncle who lived here

and I'm looking for any memorabilia
or picture that might help.

Maybe something in your computer.

His name was Shlomo Kramer.

Honey,

your tits are superb
but I prefer your boyfriend.

Him?

He's not my boyfriend.
- Too bad.

Now buzz off.

We don't give out details
about our tenants.

Fire!

I saw some sheets catch on fire!

Over there!

Here.

It must be here.

Quiet!

Just a second.

What do you think you're doing?

Nothing personal.

I have two infiltrators,
a male and a female.

She's a bimbo, he's a geek.

Excuse me, excuse me...
- Excuse you!

Look, it's like The Avengers!

Here's a ladder.

Hurry!

You're crazy.

Why?
- You have a girlfriend.

We're taking a break.

So what am I, a time-out?

Don't be silly.

You're a... pleasant surprise.

You have a boyfriend, too.

Will you go back to her
after the break?

You set this all up

just so you could fuck me.

You're crazy.

I just wanted
to get to know you better.

Take me home.

Take me home now.

Well, thanks for
the fascinating outing.

Meirav.

What?

Meirav...

I...

I need to use the bathroom

and I have a long drive
to Haifa, so...

So go against the tree.

Right...

Wow.

Shut up.

Any progress with the dresses?
- None of your business.

Why are you still here?

I'm going, I'm going.

Too bad you don't
fight for your dreams.

Tell me, big hero,

is it your dream to be a lawyer?

Pretty much.

As a boy you dreamt of
threatening witches?

Even your suit
looks like a costume.

So what would be
your dream-come-true?

Who says every dream
has to come true? -You did,

when you said you were leaving.

What's your greatest love,

Dan Freilich?

Come on, wake up already.

Music.

What?

Writing, playing, singing.

I even had a pretty successful
band once.

Why did you stop?

College, internship, bar exams.

I had to choose.

Are you...

Are you good at it?

At writing songs?

I don't know.

I'll tell you.

Sing something.
- What?

Sing something.
- No way.

Why not? Sing something.

No, no way.

I don't even have a guitar here.

But you have plenty of excuses.

Back to being Dan, Itchikidan?

Sing something.
- No way.

Please.

You already pissed me off today.

Sing me something.

Like a storm at the end of summer

You fell from the heavens

Leaving a thick trail

of broken hearts

One little smile, I forgot

That love is dangerous

You can warm yourself
or burn yourself at a small flame

Everything I thought I knew

Every story I told myself

Everything I thought I loved

Vanished

And I was reborn...

That's beautiful.

That's more or less it.

When did you write it?

What does it matter?
- It matters.

When?

About a week ago.

About me?

Artists don't reveal
their source of inspiration.

I wrote it about Itzik's Cheli.

I mean Nachum's.

About you.

Of course it's about you.

Where were you all morning?

I asked where you were.

I was with Meirav.
- Meirav? The Kurd?

Yes, Dad, the Kurd.
- God help us.

Instead of going back to Tamar
you're fooling around with waitresses?

I'm not fooling around.

I like her.

Her or her hooters?

Let me tell you something.

When I was in the army I had a...

little affair with a Yemenite girl.

And I recognize and appreciate their...

qualities.

But I went back to your mother
with my tail between my legs.

Why?

Because I think with this,
not this.

Is that so?

Well, between this and this

there's this.

For God's sake, Dan,

can you imagine living
with a girl like her?

What's ''a girl like her''?

You don't even know her,
and you have Tamar,

a wonderful girl
you've been with for years.

She seduced you.
- What?

She seduced you.

She thinks you'll set her up in life.

Now you've gone too far.

You think you can change the rules?

And stop being who you are?

Meet some Cinderella
and turn into a prince?

I'm not sure Cinderella
was Kurdish, Dad.

There are rules in life.

A soccer game is 90 minutes long

and in the end Germany wins.

Or Maccabi. -But this year
Hapoel will take the title.

So miracles do happen.

Don't worry, there'll be no title.

Our balls will tremble
at the moment of truth.

And I hope yours will too.

The ultimatum ends in two days

and Dan's gone too far
with that hussy of his.

Now his dad's thinking about
all these Yemenites from his past.

We have to put an end to this.

But Tzila, I can't force him.

I don't want to, either.
- You can and you want to.

Listen,

between you and me
it's no big deal.

He had a little fun
and I hope you did too...

a little.

But that's over now.
Back to real life.

Maybe the break
really was for the best.

Not maybe. For sure.

Now go for it,

reap the fruits.

Listen,

Schultzman's wedding
is in two days.

Dress to the nines,

let him come close
but don't let him touch

so he realizes he's the one
who's going to lose out.

Get it?

Schultzie's getting married,
go Hapoel!

I'll give it a miss this time.

Okay, okay,

I'm coming.

Hello.

Your bride will be here soon, fatso.

Does she look nice?

Beauty is in the eyes
of the beholder.

That's for sure.
Turn around

and don't turn back until
she approaches you, got it?

What kind of crap is that?

It's good luck for their marriage.
And for the team.

My husband didn't look at me
before our wedding, either.

There you go.

But he didn't look at me
after, either,

that's why he ended up with
Michal Galili, that bitch.

Whoa.

Ronen, why are you facing me?

Sorry... -I told you to wait
for the musical cue.

That's enough blush.

Go back and come out again.
- No.

Does she look stunning
or did I have too much beer?

No, she looks the same as usual.

Hello there.
- Hello to you, too.

Ronen,

we went over this last night.
- I apologize.

What's that?

You got a tattoo?
- Yeah.

It's my dolphin.
It's the Feng Shui symbol for freedom.

Wow.

Anywhere else?

Group photos, everyone.

Bride and groom
on the first step,

next bride and groom
next to them. -We aren't...

Don't fool yourself, honey.

Give me a call.

Here. Okay.

Smile as if it's

the most wonderful day of your life.

It really is the most
wonderful day of our life.

Oh, yeah?

I thought so, too.

Under the canopy the bastard said:

''May my right hand lose its cunning"

but his left hand was cunning enough

to fondle Michal Galili, that bitch.

I should've listened to my father,

he said: You're from different worlds.

We're from Kiryat Ata,

they're from Kiryat Yam.

We don't have yams.

Excuse me...
What's your name?

Chastity.
- Chastity,

can we get moving?

Listen here, lover-boy,

if you're making the mistake
of getting married,

make sure you know the girl
real good.

Everyone say cheese.

Cheese. -Cheese.

Good. Chin down.

Not that one, the other one.

Good.

You look... incredible.

Your hair is different.

A lot of things are different.

Like what?

I woke up, Dan.

I want to taste everything
the world has to offer.

You want to or...

have you been tasting?

Just licking, so far.
- Wow.

You've really changed.

It's been three months.

Minus two hours.
- Two hours?

Is that it?

We need to talk.
- Yeah.

But not in front of everyone.

Kiss my dolphin.

That's it. Pull my hair.

Like this?
- Harder.

Now do other stuff.

Like what?

Teach me tricks from Kurdistan.
- What?

How did you know?
- Who cares? It turns me on.

Enjoy the wedding, Booboo?

I sure did.

Especially when Schultzie barfed up
all the appetizers on the rabbi.

What an unnecessary ceremony.

Unnecessary?

Yeah.

You exiled me for three months
because of it.

Yes, and it was the stupidest,
most selfish thing I ever did.

Come here.

Shh.

What are you afraid of?

Smile, Itchikidan, we made it through,
now we're together.

Together?
We spent one night together.

You know it's much more than that.

Do I?

See how I thrill you?

You've never felt such a thrill.

Neither have I.

How I missed lying in your arms.

It's like a part of my body
was missing.

If I stay in this position too long...

my arm's gonna fall asleep.

Then shake it around a little.

Come rest your head on me,
sweetie.

You're home now.

Don't fall asleep again.

If you fall asleep now
I won't be here to wake you up.

Tamar.

Tamar.
- What's the matter?

What are we doing
about the wedding?

What?

The wedding,
what are we doing about it?

I don't know. Who cares?

I hate the wedding.
It came between us.

Really?

Then what'll we do?

Go with the flow.

No deadlines.

Want to flow under the sheets
with me?

Why the long face?

Didn't he call?

Leave me alone, Mom.

Call him.

He needs a little push.
All men do.

Right.

A little push off a cliff.

Meirav, I know you hate it
when I butt in,

but Dan is a sweet,

well-off guy

and you need a better life
than mine.

What are you saying?

That I should call him

because he has money?
- Yes, honey,

use what God gave you.

I have to go.

Call Dan.
Pull yourself together.

It's gorgeous.

Gorgeous. Where did you study?
- Me?

At... Burda College.

It's in the north.

Never heard of it.

Never mind, you've got the touch.

Wow, this one is stunning.
- It really is.

Here.

Shall we talk money?

I'm just saying

that Carmel Gardens
has one date left.

Tzila, we discussed this already.

A winter wedding is lovely, too.

Why don't you get married
instead of them?

How sad. Only 27
and you're already so bitter.

Sometimes I think
nothing could make you happy.

Actually, I'm very happy.

I was accepted to
law school at Haifa U.

Funny. Nogie,

you always know how to
liven up the conversation.

I'm not joking.
I've been studying all these months

and I aced the exam.

Congratulations, Nogie.

Congratulations.

I always said you were a winner.

So, Dad, is there room for me
at the office?

You can have mine.

We'll keep it on the back burner...

Cool.

Five-minute break?

That was good.

What's up?

Are you back together?

I don't know.
We're going with the flow.

Is your stuff there?

You miss the Kurd.

That's why you're this way.

How could you give up such a pearl?

Pearl?
You don't even know her, moron.

Actually, she's on my mind a lot.

She's something special.

But give up Tamar?

Upgrade Tamar

for someone I hardly know?

Listen here,

there's a reason
that Kurd suddenly appeared,

and during a championship season, yet.

Listen to me,

There's an old saying:

When God gives you a Kinder Egg

you have to put the toy together.

No more questions.

Mr. Kramer,
thank you for your testimony.

Aren't you supposed to ask me
if I have anything to add?

No, no, no, Dan.

No, no, no.

Certainly. Mr. Kramer,
do you have anything to add?

My father was a cheap bastard
who fucked up my life.

No, no, no.
- And she's just as bad.

That's why he left her everything.

Roni... -Good thing they didn't
let me visit him,

I would've throttled him.
- Mr. Kramer,

please stop now.
- Believe me,

your parents determine
your path in life

and there's nothing you can do
to change it!

You see, Freilich?

Now, that's funny.

That's what happens when your mind
is on girls and guitars

instead of my signals.

That had nothing to do with it.
- You aren't serious.

If you don't turn around
180 degrees

you're fired, you hear me?

No more philosophy.

Make your decision
and let me know. Soon.

Young, gloomy Freilich.

First defeat, huh?

No, it's not that at all.

I suspected you don't take
your profession seriously.

So what is it?

Trouble with the...

errands?

Your Honor,

with all due respect,
I'm not sure it's your business.

You're right.

Why not talk it over with Daddy?

He looks very open to a discussion.

Right.

Yes...

Well, Your Honor...
- Yes.

Never mind.
- I'm with you.

All right.

Sir,

how can you tell
if you really love someone

or you're just attracted to her?

That is the ultimate question.

Even Adam asked himself that
when Eve came up to him with all her...

Bon.

Luckily for you,
you're speaking to a man

who has judged family matters
for 20 years.

This enabled me to develop...

the Rosen Test.

The Rosen Test?

What do you find

most repulsive in a woman?

Me? -Yes.

Shaving their legs.
It grosses me out.

Shaving their legs?

Sukkot vacation, 6th grade.

I came home,
got in the bath...

my mom had been there first.

The room was full of little black hairs...

Red hairs, too.

You think I was interested
in law?

But let's focus.
You go to your ''errands,"

who, by the way,
is a good catch,

and watch her leg-shaving ritual.

If you survive the entire process,

you're in love.

Now go. I need some
alone-time with Danny Neumann.

Danny, Danny, Danny...

Meirav.

Go away.
- Let me explain.

Didn't you hear me?
I said go away.

What are you doing?

What you told me to do.

My God, he doesn't even try.

You told me to go.
- Of course, because I'm mad.

Then what am I supposed to...

Listen, Meirav,

I know I disappeared
and acted like an idiot, but...

I can't stop thinking of you

and I know
we come from different worlds,

I get an attack of spastic bronchitis
whenever I eat moussaka

and you don't know
who Hapoel Haifa is.

But I love that.

I love the fact that you're real
and you don't care

and I love that little wrinkle you get
whenever you're mad at me

and your beauty mark,

and the fact that you talk to your mom
a thousand times a day.

And Meirav, I...

I can't lose you.

What B-movie did you
steal that from?

I mean it.

I'm in a very complicated situation

and I have a lot of things
to work out

but I want to do
the right thing for once.

Lawyerish again?
- It's not Lawyerish. Listen, Meirav.

I can't get you out of my mind.

Your mind or your dick?

My heart.

Okay?

The deepest place in my heart.

What was that for?
- Never disappear again, you hear me?

Why do you even want me?
I drive you crazy.

You're different.

You make me...

What are you doing?

I can't stop touching you.

Wait till morning.
Okay, babe?

I'm wiped.

What's your problem?

I...

I love your little leg-hairs.

What?

What hairs? Are you nuts?

I don't have any hair.
You think I have hair?

I have to pee.

Meirava.

You came all this way
to give me the finger?

Wrong finger.

I know which finger.

Morad, give us a minute.

I gave her back the ring.

I know you aren't with me
and that's okay,

but I couldn't lie to myself anymore.

Did you tell her everything?

Everything.

How did she react?

She kicked me out.
I'm sleeping on a mattress in my office.

Alone.

How did Zohar put it?

No future, no hope, no dream.

Angel, you're Srgentinean,
not Mediterranean.

I'm Latin. It's the same thing.

He'll never be as good to you
as I am, Meirava.

He'll never know
what makes you laugh.

You can go to your stupid lawyer,

sit on the couch and watch TV,

but when you get bored

Angel may not be waiting.

I missed hanging out your laundry...

and not only your army shirts.

Tamar...

Listen, Tamar, it's important.

You're such a male clich?.

I say one sensitive thing
and you change the subject?

For Pete's sake.

Do you even know Pete?

Then why do you swear by him?

What if Pete's a pedophile?
Or a suicide bomber?

Okay...

What's with you, silly-billy?

I'm trying to tell you that...

That...?

I think we should break up.

What?

Why?

I think I love Meirav.

The Kurd?

Did you sleep with her?

A little. -A little?

Put my bra down, jerky!

It's ''jerk." You don't have to add
a cutesy ending to everything.

I'm sorry my syntax bothers you!

I was so stupid to think
everything was okay again!

Tamar, you aren't stupid.

I thought so too,
but I was wrong.

We don't love each other
anymore.

We'd end up boring ourselves
to death.

Oh, so you're doing me a favor?

What does she have
that I don't?

She's different.

You could use that, too.

Someone different.

What if I told you
I found someone like that?

I'd be happy for you.

Even if he's your best friend
and the best lay I've ever had?

Yes.

A Kinder Egg that you
have to put together?

I'll pull off your Kinder Egg1

You were taking a break!

You know the rule,
no messing with friends' exes!

It was either the law or the vow!

What vow?!

You want the title or not?

What's that got to do with it?
- I vowed

I'd find true love.

Can I help being in love with Tamar?

What?

I can't handle this crap.
- It isn't crap. I love her.

And I love you, too.

Not sexually.

But if you still feel something for her
I'll step aside.

I don't feel anything.

My heart's been captured.

Now it's being occupied by Meirav.

I thought you were just into her.
- I'm into her,

not ''just."

I don't get it,
he and Tamar broke up and you...

Shut up.
- Okay.

I thought you'd be happy.

It makes me nervous.

You were together for so long.
- It's over between us. Long over.

And that's good.

Now we can be together,

really together.

Will you move in with me?

What?

Where'd that come from?

We'll rent a place on Mt. Carmel,

look how beautiful it is.

What are you talking about?

I can't leave my mother.

Your mother will be thrilled.

She's crazy about me.

My mom will die
when I tell her.

Don't exaggerate.
You're a big girl now.

You both know
you'll leave home eventually.

You don't know
who you're dealing with.

Why all the drama?

It's not like you're moving to America.

Well,

I don't know if it'll work.

If what'll work?
- Us.

I don't get it,

we disagree on one little thing

and now it won't work?
What's the story, Meirav?

I told you.

What are you afraid of?
- I'm not afraid.

You're afraid.

You're afraid because
you finally have something real.

What do you know
about what's real?

Nothing.

I just know that being with
a married man

isn't real.

He left his wife.

So that's why you're being this way.

And I'm here trying to persuade you.

You're a liar.
- I'm a liar?

You screwed me
while you were engaged.

Our whole affair is a lie,

you got bored with your Polish chick
and you wanted some action.

You just feel inferior.

Me? Inferior?

What are you, a psychologist?

Be a man first.
- Me?

Angel goes like this
and you come crawling.

Oh, yeah? Maybe because
he knows how to touch and have fun,

unlike you, all rational
and afraid of your own shadow.

You're a home-wrecker. Bravo.

I'm a fool.

Why did I have to open my heart?

Dan is a fine young bloke

who was born when a condom broke.

Just kidding, Avrum,

you're the last person
that would happen to.

Anyway, you all remember
Dan Freilich as a promising singer

who, by the age of 20,
had thousands of fans

from up in Denya
down to Kiryat Eliezer.

Except for my Heftzi.
- Schultzie, have my baby!

I will... one.

But seriously,

he's one of my best friends

and I'm so proud that he finally
grew big enough balls

to stand on this prestigious stage
and kick some ass.

You may not be ready for this,

but ladies and gentlemen,

welcome Dan and the Freilichs!

Okay.

Hello, everyone.

I'm Dan, and here we are again,

The Frielichs.

Like a storm at the end of summer

You fell from the heavens

Leaving a thick trail
of broken hearts

One little smile, I forgot

That love is dangerous

You can warm yourself

or burn yourself at a small flame

Everything I thought I knew

Every story I told myself

Everything I thought I loved

Vanished

And I was reborn

We'll keep it on the back burner

And you left just as you came

Everything is pointless and empty

I keep looking toward the sky

And there's no sign of clouds

Look, I'm standing under the moon

Yowling like a cat
but there's no answer

I don't forget a single word,
a single breath

Again I caress love's scars

Everything I thought I knew

Every story I told myself

Everything I thought I loved

Vanished

And I was reborn

We'll keep it on the back burner

What a set of pipes.
- So glad you came.

I'm attracted to you.
- But not sexually. -No way.

He's amazing.
- Championship!

My sweet, sweet Dan.

You're the first Freilich
on Mt. Everest.

I never had the guts.

I was the artist of our group.

I think you got it from me.

From you? I sang at
the final ceremony at the outpost.

''If I were a pirate
and you were a princess...''

Okay, okay.

You sang like that back then, too.
It's from you.

Listen...

your sister is very tenacious
but it was worth it.

I'm glad I came all the way
to Haifa to hear you, Dan.

Where've you been hiding?

My favorite was the song
about the horse...

Excuse me for a second...

I'm his father...

It's been almost a year
since my last ritual.

This Saturday,

unless disaster strikes,
we'll win the title and make history,

and the other day
I went back on stage like a winner.

On the other hand, I have no job,
no home and no girl.

I'd do anything to get Meirav back

but I don't stand a chance.

Hold on,

that was Dan's line,

not Itchikidan's.

I don't believe it1

Meirav!

Come outside!

What's going on here?

Meirav,

I know I said things
I shouldn't have

and I'm so sorry,

but we can't avoid
each other forever.

You know why?

Because you're my life,

khaytana1

It's ''khayrana.''

You don't want to be
the butt of a Kurdish joke.

I don't care,

because since I met you
I'm not afraid of anything.

Bless your soul1

Dan, this is sweet, but it doesn't
change what I told you.

Meirav, I love you

and I know you love me too.

I'm sorry.

Really I am.

One song.
Sing her one song.

A good one.

Come to your window

I'm the man who sings to you

I wrote my songs for you

The day you come out

You'll capture my heart

I'll save a warm place
in my heart for you...

Sing something more gentle.

More subtle.

Try something else.

In the highest window
the light has gone out

The last curtain has been lowered...

Dude,

use the doomsday device,

no choice.

Go for it.

True, there is no endless love

But this end seems cursed to me

I walk among the people
on the street

And shout: oh oh oh oh

Tell her...

You want to get killed?

I don't care.

Life without you is like death.

How dramatic.
Have you turned Mediterranean?

You're an idiot.

But I love you.

Two minutes left

until the official ending
of this game,

and here's Giovanni Rosso.

They can't take the title
from Hapoel Haifa.

it's going to happen here and now,

and the crowd is rushing the field.
- Please, fans,

wait for the gates to open.

The final whistle is by the Hapoel fans,
not the referee.

Mazel Tov,

Mazel Tov to Hapoel Haifa.

The celebration
has officially begun

and the players are being crushed
by their fans.

Israel's champions
for the '98-'99 season.

They did it big-time. brilliantly,

and they did it red.