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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,684 --> 00:00:06,968 Angie, come on down. It's time to go to church, this is God. 2 00:00:08,628 --> 00:00:11,118 - Mitch, Trace, you guys already up? - Already up? 3 00:00:11,118 --> 00:00:13,052 Russell, we've already had two meals today. 4 00:00:13,053 --> 00:00:14,863 Did arts and crafts, went to feed the ducks. 5 00:00:14,863 --> 00:00:17,162 Yeah, got there so early, we had to wake up the ducks. 6 00:00:17,163 --> 00:00:19,612 I haven't had a full night's sleep since my water broke. 7 00:00:19,613 --> 00:00:22,036 - Hey, guys. You already... - Don't ask. The bottom line is 8 00:00:22,199 --> 00:00:24,618 they resent our childless but leisurely lives. 9 00:00:24,996 --> 00:00:27,029 Aww, you two know you were done 10 00:00:27,031 --> 00:00:29,064 with the interesting part of your lives anyway. 11 00:00:29,066 --> 00:00:31,567 - We had a good run. - We really did. 12 00:00:31,569 --> 00:00:33,736 Come on, woman, I don't want to be late for church. 13 00:00:33,738 --> 00:00:36,623 I do not want to sweat out my suit on the walk over from the overflow parking lot. 14 00:00:36,936 --> 00:00:44,140 - What's church? - Okay, great question. 15 00:00:44,142 --> 00:00:46,042 - I'll tell you what church is. - Allow me. 16 00:00:46,044 --> 00:00:50,747 Church is a really fun place with music and fancy clothes 17 00:00:50,749 --> 00:00:52,396 and a man in a robe telling stories. 18 00:00:52,397 --> 00:00:57,987 - Oh, and our band just went electric... - It's also the place where we go to pray 19 00:00:57,989 --> 00:01:00,490 - and to be closer to God. - And that. 20 00:01:01,492 --> 00:01:03,059 What's God? 21 00:01:03,061 --> 00:01:04,660 [sighs] 22 00:01:04,662 --> 00:01:06,529 Don't look now 23 00:01:06,531 --> 00:01:09,098 I said don't look now 24 00:01:09,100 --> 00:01:12,357 'Cause here we are Living the best days of our lives 25 00:01:12,358 --> 00:01:16,054 Synced and Corrected by Nsiko www.Addic7ed.com 26 00:01:16,307 --> 00:01:17,907 So, your daughter knows 27 00:01:17,909 --> 00:01:20,309 all the names for the lady flaps and folds, 28 00:01:20,311 --> 00:01:22,111 but you haven't found a way to broach God? 29 00:01:22,113 --> 00:01:23,980 She's too young. 30 00:01:23,982 --> 00:01:26,749 Yeah, it's the same reason she hasn't had her ears pierced yet. 31 00:01:26,751 --> 00:01:29,052 I want her to be old enough to make a conscious choice, 32 00:01:29,054 --> 00:01:31,187 to... to weigh the pros and cons of God. 33 00:01:31,189 --> 00:01:32,588 Remind me of the cons again? 34 00:01:32,590 --> 00:01:34,324 Mitch has no faith in faith. 35 00:01:34,326 --> 00:01:35,625 Oh, hold on. 36 00:01:35,627 --> 00:01:37,860 Don't act like you're the good Catholic girl. 37 00:01:37,862 --> 00:01:40,963 You had tons of sex before marriage, some of which was with me. 38 00:01:40,965 --> 00:01:43,933 Hey, I used to go to church every Sunday. 39 00:01:43,935 --> 00:01:46,536 Really? 'Cause there's a car headed there now, 40 00:01:46,538 --> 00:01:48,604 but yet, here you stand in flip-flops and shorts 41 00:01:48,606 --> 00:01:50,940 that make me need to go to confession. 42 00:01:50,942 --> 00:01:53,142 I painted the chickens from school. 43 00:01:53,144 --> 00:01:55,545 Aww, you have chickens at your preschool? 44 00:01:55,547 --> 00:01:57,380 Yeah, they had bunnies last year, 45 00:01:57,382 --> 00:01:59,549 but they wrestled too much for a preschool. 46 00:02:01,018 --> 00:02:02,919 I named one of the chickens Russell. 47 00:02:02,921 --> 00:02:04,120 Guess which one. 48 00:02:04,122 --> 00:02:06,489 I don't want to guess. 49 00:02:06,491 --> 00:02:07,991 I'd bet you'd get it right. 50 00:02:07,993 --> 00:02:09,826 It's this one. 51 00:02:09,828 --> 00:02:12,128 You want to know why I named him Russell? 52 00:02:12,130 --> 00:02:16,432 Oh, sweetie, you know, just because certain things about the chicken 53 00:02:16,434 --> 00:02:18,968 - may resemble... - 'Cause he's the coolest chicken! 54 00:02:18,970 --> 00:02:21,304 [laughs] I am. 55 00:02:21,306 --> 00:02:23,439 I am the coolest chicken. 56 00:02:23,441 --> 00:02:25,675 - Thank God. - That's what we're about to do. 57 00:02:25,677 --> 00:02:27,043 Give Him our best. 58 00:02:27,045 --> 00:02:30,947 Oh, believe me, I will be mentioning you. 59 00:02:30,949 --> 00:02:32,882 Coolest chicken out. 60 00:02:32,884 --> 00:02:34,150 [laughs] 61 00:02:34,152 --> 00:02:36,052 Oh, Sam. 62 00:02:36,054 --> 00:02:38,254 Just a heads-up... Mom's getting braces. 63 00:02:38,256 --> 00:02:39,522 So, for, like, the next two years, 64 00:02:39,524 --> 00:02:41,457 she's gonna be undermining us with a lisp. 65 00:02:41,459 --> 00:02:43,860 [lisping] That skirt's kind of short. 66 00:02:43,862 --> 00:02:45,862 [both chuckle] 67 00:02:45,864 --> 00:02:47,730 What are you doing up so early on a Sunday? 68 00:02:47,732 --> 00:02:49,907 Oh, I'm not up early... Still up from last night. 69 00:02:49,908 --> 00:02:52,568 Tracy let me in. She's so hot. 70 00:02:52,570 --> 00:02:53,803 I still don't understand how you took her down. 71 00:02:53,805 --> 00:02:56,873 Well, what we have is loving and mutual. 72 00:02:56,875 --> 00:02:57,974 Gross. 73 00:02:57,976 --> 00:03:00,843 Listen, you know how I owe you $400? 74 00:03:00,845 --> 00:03:02,578 - I'm here to pay you back. - Great. 75 00:03:02,580 --> 00:03:04,981 Well, I don't have the money just yet. 76 00:03:04,983 --> 00:03:08,284 But I do have a ton of stuff in my storage unit that I'm gonna sell on Craigslist. 77 00:03:08,286 --> 00:03:09,585 Okay. 78 00:03:09,587 --> 00:03:12,755 I just need to borrow 50 bucks for back rent on the storage unit. 79 00:03:12,757 --> 00:03:16,859 So, just to be clear, I'm paying you $50 to get my $400 back. 80 00:03:16,861 --> 00:03:19,629 - Actually, $450. - Well done, mathlete. 81 00:03:19,631 --> 00:03:22,732 It's worth paying you $50 just to end this conversation. 82 00:03:22,734 --> 00:03:24,567 Pleasure doing business with you. 83 00:03:24,569 --> 00:03:25,868 Mm-hmm. 84 00:03:25,870 --> 00:03:27,103 Honestly, is this a princess shoe 85 00:03:27,105 --> 00:03:28,438 or a stripper shoe? 86 00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:30,673 A stripper's just a princess with a job. 87 00:03:30,675 --> 00:03:31,774 I don't know. 88 00:03:31,776 --> 00:03:33,810 Nobody princesses their way through college. 89 00:03:33,812 --> 00:03:37,260 - Did you tell him your news? - No, changed my mind on that. 90 00:03:37,262 --> 00:03:39,162 He can get so judge-y. 91 00:03:39,164 --> 00:03:40,997 As you say that, I'm literally getting money 92 00:03:40,999 --> 00:03:42,765 from my wallet for you. 93 00:03:42,767 --> 00:03:44,167 Fine. 94 00:03:44,169 --> 00:03:46,502 If you must know, I've been getting professional help, 95 00:03:46,504 --> 00:03:51,207 you know, with life decisions, et cetera. 96 00:03:51,209 --> 00:03:52,542 Good for you, Sam. 97 00:03:52,544 --> 00:03:54,077 But here's the thing. 98 00:03:54,079 --> 00:03:56,512 I'm starting to develop romantic feelings for him. 99 00:03:56,514 --> 00:03:59,615 Not judging, just pointing out that that is very common. 100 00:03:59,617 --> 00:04:00,817 It's called transference. 101 00:04:00,819 --> 00:04:02,251 But if this guy's a professional, 102 00:04:02,253 --> 00:04:04,020 he will not violate that boundary. 103 00:04:04,022 --> 00:04:07,557 Too late. I've already slept with him. 104 00:04:07,559 --> 00:04:09,392 You're sleeping with your therapist? 105 00:04:09,394 --> 00:04:11,260 Oh, no, I wish I was sleeping with my therapist. 106 00:04:11,262 --> 00:04:13,329 That guy's hot as [bleep]. 107 00:04:13,331 --> 00:04:15,431 No, I'm sleeping with my psychic. 108 00:04:15,433 --> 00:04:17,734 - Josh is a psychic? - Yes. 109 00:04:17,736 --> 00:04:19,802 And he kills it in the sack. 110 00:04:19,804 --> 00:04:21,738 It's like he can totally sense what I want. 111 00:04:21,740 --> 00:04:23,673 And I'm out. 112 00:04:25,809 --> 00:04:27,343 Was that Sam? 113 00:04:27,345 --> 00:04:29,612 Yep, and my 50 bucks. 114 00:04:29,614 --> 00:04:30,646 Oh, we missed it? 115 00:04:30,648 --> 00:04:32,181 I love watching you when she's here. 116 00:04:32,183 --> 00:04:33,889 She pushes your buttons more than people who bring 117 00:04:33,992 --> 00:04:38,521 - fake service dogs into restaurants. - There is no service a pug can provide. 118 00:04:38,523 --> 00:04:41,491 - Okay, what's the latest button? - She's dating a psychic. 119 00:04:41,492 --> 00:04:44,724 Fantastic! You know, I hear psychics are real. 120 00:04:44,726 --> 00:04:48,027 They're emotional vampires that suck the money out of innocent people. 121 00:04:48,029 --> 00:04:49,662 They're perfect for each other. 122 00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:50,863 All right, it's one dinner, Mitch. 123 00:04:50,865 --> 00:04:52,599 So just smile and keep your opinions to yourself. 124 00:04:52,601 --> 00:04:53,866 Yeah, 'cause that's what he's known for. 125 00:04:53,868 --> 00:04:58,338 We need a invite to that dinner that I predict is going to be epic. 126 00:04:58,340 --> 00:05:00,039 - Done. - Yeah, I'm with Mitch. 127 00:05:00,041 --> 00:05:02,408 It's a little too much voodoo-hoodoo for me. 128 00:05:02,410 --> 00:05:04,577 But I do wonder what happened to my curling iron, 129 00:05:04,579 --> 00:05:06,512 and I wouldn't want to bother the Lord about that. 130 00:05:06,514 --> 00:05:08,715 Psychics are all about the show... 131 00:05:08,717 --> 00:05:09,849 Kind of like church. 132 00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:11,684 - Excuse me? - Excuse me. 133 00:05:11,686 --> 00:05:13,586 I was the one waiting on you this morning, Angela. 134 00:05:13,588 --> 00:05:15,488 And next Sunday, can we coordinate outfits? 135 00:05:15,490 --> 00:05:19,425 Because this dress is not working with all of a-this. 136 00:05:20,984 --> 00:05:23,130 I brought Russell the chicken some organic chicken fee. 137 00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:25,431 Hi, Gloria. 138 00:05:25,433 --> 00:05:27,634 I... Miss Gloria. 139 00:05:27,636 --> 00:05:28,968 Sadie, I think your dad forgot 140 00:05:28,970 --> 00:05:32,005 that you're an independent person who can carry her own lunch box. 141 00:05:32,007 --> 00:05:34,674 How do you know it's not mine? 142 00:05:34,676 --> 00:05:38,144 It could be yours, Mitch. Boys can have pink. 143 00:05:40,948 --> 00:05:43,783 That is one cold Popsicle, Jack. 144 00:05:43,785 --> 00:05:45,469 She's garbage. 145 00:05:45,921 --> 00:05:47,659 Hey, where did Russell go? 146 00:05:47,659 --> 00:05:50,346 Hmm? I'm not even allowed to have a lunch box. 147 00:05:51,148 --> 00:05:52,295 Ask to Miss Gloria. 148 00:05:52,598 --> 00:05:55,832 Miss Gloria, where did Russell go? 149 00:05:58,603 --> 00:06:00,003 He's dead. 150 00:06:01,172 --> 00:06:05,843 - Maybe he'll be back tomorrow. - No, he's dead. 151 00:06:05,845 --> 00:06:09,146 And when you die, you don't come back. 152 00:06:12,817 --> 00:06:15,886 For my little chicken homey. 153 00:06:18,089 --> 00:06:21,258 [whispering] Cock-a-doodle-Doo. 154 00:06:22,664 --> 00:06:24,798 First, Russell and Angie bring up God, 155 00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:27,167 and now Sadie's teacher's talking about death? 156 00:06:27,169 --> 00:06:28,836 Everyone is screwing us this week. 157 00:06:28,838 --> 00:06:30,070 I had a plan. 158 00:06:30,072 --> 00:06:32,473 Sadie would learn about death after she learned about religion, 159 00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:34,441 which she'd do after she got her ears pierced. 160 00:06:34,443 --> 00:06:35,542 There's a timeline, people. 161 00:06:35,544 --> 00:06:36,877 Respect the timeline. 162 00:06:36,879 --> 00:06:38,479 Babe, you're clenching the wheel kind of tight there. 163 00:06:38,481 --> 00:06:40,114 Frickin' Gloria. 164 00:06:40,116 --> 00:06:41,582 Sadie shouldn't know what death is. 165 00:06:41,584 --> 00:06:43,016 She barely knows what tomorrow is. 166 00:06:43,018 --> 00:06:45,452 Mitch, when we get in there, can you not be confrontational? 167 00:06:45,454 --> 00:06:46,487 [sighs] 168 00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:48,455 If you yell, you're gonna seem crazy. 169 00:06:48,457 --> 00:06:51,225 How dare you destroy our children's innocence? 170 00:06:51,227 --> 00:06:52,526 You call this a school? 171 00:06:52,528 --> 00:06:53,894 You're coming in hot, honey. 172 00:06:53,896 --> 00:06:56,363 What I've found in the past 173 00:06:56,365 --> 00:06:58,732 is that parents who are the most vocal 174 00:06:58,734 --> 00:07:00,267 are often the ones 175 00:07:00,269 --> 00:07:03,036 struggling with their own unresolved issues. 176 00:07:03,038 --> 00:07:04,805 What works best for the child 177 00:07:04,807 --> 00:07:06,240 is the matter-of-fact approach, 178 00:07:06,242 --> 00:07:08,976 which is why we're encouraging all the parents to buy this book 179 00:07:08,978 --> 00:07:11,411 to help them, you know, talk to their kids about death. 180 00:07:11,413 --> 00:07:12,913 "Where Did My Goldfish Go?" 181 00:07:12,915 --> 00:07:14,715 "Written by Gloria Nieber." 182 00:07:14,717 --> 00:07:16,650 Wait. You wrote this? 183 00:07:16,652 --> 00:07:20,020 So you killed a chicken just to move a few books. 184 00:07:20,022 --> 00:07:21,922 It's not that what she's saying is so awful. 185 00:07:21,924 --> 00:07:24,825 It's that she as a person is so awful. 186 00:07:24,827 --> 00:07:27,227 She's total garbage. 187 00:07:27,229 --> 00:07:29,463 What bothered me so much is that Gloria was right. 188 00:07:29,465 --> 00:07:30,831 Totally. Wait. What? 189 00:07:30,833 --> 00:07:32,032 How was she right? 190 00:07:32,034 --> 00:07:33,534 Maybe there is some unresolved stuff 191 00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:34,768 going on with me. 192 00:07:34,770 --> 00:07:37,271 This whole death thing has got me thinking about Lolo. 193 00:07:37,273 --> 00:07:38,405 Really? 194 00:07:38,407 --> 00:07:40,974 But your grandpa died when you were eight. 195 00:07:40,976 --> 00:07:42,075 Exactly. 196 00:07:42,077 --> 00:07:43,710 It was the first time I lost someone. 197 00:07:43,712 --> 00:07:46,180 You know, Sadie's gonna have a ton of questions like I did... 198 00:07:46,182 --> 00:07:47,881 Questions I never fully resolved, 199 00:07:47,883 --> 00:07:49,917 questions we don't even know how to answer. 200 00:07:49,919 --> 00:07:51,952 Well, I tell you what we're not gonna do. 201 00:07:51,954 --> 00:07:53,353 Use Gloria's book. 202 00:07:53,355 --> 00:07:55,556 Can you believe she's charging $35 for that thing? 203 00:07:55,558 --> 00:07:58,358 - She's total garbage. - Totally. 204 00:07:58,360 --> 00:08:01,261 Oh, remind me to bring that check tomorrow. 205 00:08:02,797 --> 00:08:04,298 Tracy, Mitch, thank you so much 206 00:08:04,300 --> 00:08:05,365 for inviting me to dinner. 207 00:08:05,367 --> 00:08:06,667 Well, technically, I didn't... 208 00:08:06,669 --> 00:08:07,701 Let's eat. 209 00:08:07,703 --> 00:08:10,704 Angie, these green beans look delicious. 210 00:08:10,706 --> 00:08:11,772 Thanks, Josh. 211 00:08:11,774 --> 00:08:12,940 Wait a minute. 212 00:08:12,942 --> 00:08:14,141 How did Josh know 213 00:08:14,143 --> 00:08:15,809 that Angie made these green beans? 214 00:08:15,811 --> 00:08:18,645 Because, Russell, he saw the Tupperware. 215 00:08:18,647 --> 00:08:21,782 Yes, I saw the Tupperware. 216 00:08:21,784 --> 00:08:24,585 Okay, obviously you all discussed 217 00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:26,053 my abilities beforehand, 218 00:08:26,055 --> 00:08:28,655 so maybe I should just clear the air a little bit. 219 00:08:28,657 --> 00:08:31,358 Um, what I do is really not that extraordinary. 220 00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:33,060 Yet he charges for it anyway. 221 00:08:33,995 --> 00:08:35,262 Fantastic. 222 00:08:35,264 --> 00:08:37,164 Russell told me about what happened at school. 223 00:08:37,166 --> 00:08:39,366 Previously on "Mitch and Tracy"... 224 00:08:39,368 --> 00:08:40,901 a chicken died at Sadie's school, 225 00:08:40,903 --> 00:08:42,136 and surprise, surprise, 226 00:08:42,138 --> 00:08:43,837 my brother's handling it poorly. 227 00:08:43,839 --> 00:08:45,539 They say natural causes, 228 00:08:45,541 --> 00:08:47,040 but I still want to hear the real story 229 00:08:47,042 --> 00:08:49,910 behind Russell the chicken's sudden yet suspicious death. 230 00:08:49,912 --> 00:08:51,912 Black chicken dies, nobody investigates. 231 00:08:51,914 --> 00:08:53,313 Somebody saw something. 232 00:08:53,315 --> 00:08:56,784 Okay, what he means to say is, "How's Sadie doing?" 233 00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:59,153 She's okay. 234 00:08:59,155 --> 00:09:02,656 No major questions about death or chickens, 235 00:09:02,658 --> 00:09:04,491 but she's putting it together, Mitch. 236 00:09:04,493 --> 00:09:06,693 As she sleeps, her little half-Asian brain 237 00:09:06,695 --> 00:09:07,995 is putting it together. 238 00:09:07,997 --> 00:09:09,663 What are we gonna tell her? 239 00:09:09,665 --> 00:09:11,498 Here's what I would say. 240 00:09:11,500 --> 00:09:13,801 "We are all energy." 241 00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:15,803 Interesting. Interesting. 242 00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:17,437 Mitch? 243 00:09:17,439 --> 00:09:19,072 You know what? 244 00:09:19,074 --> 00:09:21,241 Let's... let's not talk about Sadie right now. 245 00:09:21,243 --> 00:09:22,576 Sorry, Josh. 246 00:09:22,578 --> 00:09:24,445 It's... it's an emotional time for us. 247 00:09:24,447 --> 00:09:27,414 Yes, of course. You lost your grandfather. 248 00:09:27,416 --> 00:09:29,316 It's been on your mind. 249 00:09:29,318 --> 00:09:31,885 - Could you pass the, uh, rolls? - Mm-hmm. 250 00:09:31,887 --> 00:09:33,754 You're right. I did. How did you... 251 00:09:33,756 --> 00:09:36,056 Do you know where my curling iron is? 252 00:09:36,058 --> 00:09:39,460 Guys, Sam clearly told Josh all about that. 253 00:09:39,462 --> 00:09:40,594 [scoffs] 254 00:09:40,596 --> 00:09:41,929 I never told Sam. 255 00:09:41,931 --> 00:09:43,964 Oh, this is legit weird. 256 00:09:43,966 --> 00:09:45,132 Okay, okay. 257 00:09:45,134 --> 00:09:48,035 But who doesn't have a dead grandfather at your age? 258 00:09:48,037 --> 00:09:50,137 I mean... I-I mean our age. 259 00:09:50,139 --> 00:09:52,106 How great does Tracy look? 260 00:09:52,108 --> 00:09:53,440 You don't have to be a psychic 261 00:09:53,442 --> 00:09:55,476 to kw that he's not getting any tonight, okay? 262 00:09:57,812 --> 00:10:00,280 Hey, you should do a session with Tracy. 263 00:10:00,282 --> 00:10:02,583 That way, you can say whatever you want to Lolo. 264 00:10:02,585 --> 00:10:03,851 Love it. 265 00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:06,987 You need to understand that a medium and a psychic 266 00:10:06,989 --> 00:10:09,056 are two different things. 267 00:10:09,058 --> 00:10:11,792 But it turns out that, yes, I am both of those things. 268 00:10:11,794 --> 00:10:13,093 Oh! 269 00:10:13,095 --> 00:10:15,329 Okay, let's switch back to Sadie, shall we? 270 00:10:15,331 --> 00:10:17,998 Look, I know it's not your thing, 271 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:19,433 but I was thinking 272 00:10:19,435 --> 00:10:21,969 maybe we could teach Sadie about Heaven. 273 00:10:23,037 --> 00:10:24,304 How would you feel about that? 274 00:10:24,306 --> 00:10:29,109 Well, I-I definitely don't want to deprive our daughter of comfort, but Heaven... 275 00:10:29,111 --> 00:10:33,981 Is just a metaphor to help us deal with the overwhelming-ness of death. 276 00:10:33,983 --> 00:10:35,983 I kind of agree with you. 277 00:10:35,985 --> 00:10:37,851 - That's no fun. - I'm sorry. 278 00:10:37,853 --> 00:10:41,188 Did nobody have an issue with Heaven being a metaphor? 279 00:10:42,123 --> 00:10:43,424 No? 280 00:10:43,426 --> 00:10:45,097 Just me? Okay. 281 00:10:45,097 --> 00:10:48,262 Babe, I think what they mean is that there are many paths to the truth... 282 00:10:48,264 --> 00:10:51,832 Uh, Eastern mysticism, astrology, the Bible. 283 00:10:51,834 --> 00:10:54,435 Are you lumping the Bible in with astrology? 284 00:10:54,437 --> 00:10:56,703 No. 285 00:10:56,705 --> 00:10:58,272 Yes. 286 00:10:58,274 --> 00:10:59,817 The Bible is great. What? 287 00:10:59,818 --> 00:11:02,609 Look, I'd love to give Sadie religion. 288 00:11:02,611 --> 00:11:05,312 - It's just we're a mixed-faith couple. - Apparently, we are too. 289 00:11:05,314 --> 00:11:07,314 Babe, come on, I go to church every Sunday. 290 00:11:07,316 --> 00:11:09,216 I tithe. I help move the airs. 291 00:11:09,218 --> 00:11:11,022 Hey, psychic Josh, is my husband going to hell? 292 00:11:11,023 --> 00:11:12,319 What's hell? 293 00:11:12,321 --> 00:11:14,888 People, you're killing me. 294 00:11:14,890 --> 00:11:17,791 I miss Russell. Where did he go? 295 00:11:19,294 --> 00:11:22,529 - Um, babe? - Hmm? 296 00:11:28,946 --> 00:11:30,246 All right, what are we gonna say? 297 00:11:30,248 --> 00:11:31,714 We have about as much time 298 00:11:31,716 --> 00:11:33,382 as it would reasonably take me to fill this sippy cup. 299 00:11:33,384 --> 00:11:35,017 Oh, I never give her bathroom water, 300 00:11:35,019 --> 00:11:36,419 so we have an extra 30 seconds. 301 00:11:36,421 --> 00:11:38,220 Okay. We have to say something reassuring to Sadie, 302 00:11:38,222 --> 00:11:40,389 something she can understand. 303 00:11:40,391 --> 00:11:41,824 We can go with your thing. 304 00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:43,259 What is your thing again? 305 00:11:43,261 --> 00:11:45,828 I guess if you're forcing me to say what I believe, 306 00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:47,496 I like science and proof. 307 00:11:47,498 --> 00:11:49,632 I mean, Carl Sagan said that extraordinary claims 308 00:11:49,634 --> 00:11:51,300 require extraordinary evidence. 309 00:11:51,302 --> 00:11:52,635 She's five. 310 00:11:52,637 --> 00:11:54,804 Okay, okay, what the heck? Let's just go with Heaven. 311 00:11:54,806 --> 00:11:57,106 - I'm starting to see the utility. - Good. Great. 312 00:11:57,108 --> 00:11:59,566 - We'll tell her about Heaven and God. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 313 00:11:59,567 --> 00:12:01,350 How can there be Heaven without God? It's where He lives. 314 00:12:01,351 --> 00:12:05,182 It's like talking about Disneyland and and pretending there's no Mickey 315 00:12:06,007 --> 00:12:07,022 Okay, fine. There's a God. 316 00:12:07,023 --> 00:12:07,935 - And Jesus. - Oh, God! 317 00:12:07,935 --> 00:12:09,665 What? My God comes with Jesus. 318 00:12:09,665 --> 00:12:12,371 I gave you Heaven. I gave you God. Work with me! 319 00:12:12,627 --> 00:12:15,443 - Mommy! - You heard her. She picked you. Ha ha. 320 00:12:18,677 --> 00:12:20,616 Are they a pre-wash family? 321 00:12:23,982 --> 00:12:27,985 Mitch either definitely is or definitely isn't, you know? 322 00:12:29,921 --> 00:12:31,188 I'm gonna go with pre-wash. 323 00:12:31,190 --> 00:12:32,823 I'm gonna just... I'm going pre-wa... 324 00:12:34,626 --> 00:12:36,760 They were supposed to be the show, Russell... 325 00:12:36,762 --> 00:12:38,562 The slacker sister and the freak boyfriend. 326 00:12:38,564 --> 00:12:39,697 I made one comment. 327 00:12:39,699 --> 00:12:41,632 He heard your one comment. 328 00:12:41,634 --> 00:12:42,933 And if He's anything like me, 329 00:12:42,935 --> 00:12:45,169 He thinks you need to take your faith more seriously. 330 00:12:45,171 --> 00:12:47,604 - I don't care about Him. - [gasps] 331 00:12:47,606 --> 00:12:50,007 I mean... 332 00:12:50,009 --> 00:12:52,009 what I really care about is you. 333 00:12:52,011 --> 00:12:55,112 I'm listening. 334 00:12:57,048 --> 00:12:59,349 Don't mind me. Don't mind me. 335 00:12:59,351 --> 00:13:01,018 - God's with us all the time. - Oh, even last night when... 336 00:13:01,020 --> 00:13:02,186 Don't mind me. Don't mind me. 337 00:13:02,188 --> 00:13:04,388 Hey, Mitch, are you a pre-washer? 338 00:13:04,390 --> 00:13:05,622 I don't care. 339 00:13:05,624 --> 00:13:06,924 I have bigger fish to fry. 340 00:13:06,926 --> 00:13:09,593 But, yes. Forks up, knives down. 341 00:13:09,595 --> 00:13:10,694 Don't let the spoons spoon. 342 00:13:10,696 --> 00:13:12,896 Don't mind me. Don't mind me. 343 00:13:12,898 --> 00:13:14,965 Actually... 344 00:13:14,967 --> 00:13:17,234 [gasps] Hey! 345 00:13:17,236 --> 00:13:20,337 Mitch, save the parenting for upstairs. 346 00:13:21,473 --> 00:13:23,073 Okay, here's what you missed. 347 00:13:23,075 --> 00:13:25,743 Sadie's never gonna eat chicken again. I want to kill Gloria. 348 00:13:25,745 --> 00:13:27,077 And I made Heaven sound so great, 349 00:13:27,079 --> 00:13:29,913 - Sadie wants to go there for her birthday. - Great. 350 00:13:29,915 --> 00:13:32,015 Our daughter is now a suicidal vegetarian. 351 00:13:32,017 --> 00:13:34,651 I had to say something while you went downstairs to... 352 00:13:34,653 --> 00:13:36,053 To get an empty cup of water? 353 00:13:36,055 --> 00:13:38,956 What are we gonna do? 354 00:13:38,958 --> 00:13:42,059 Well, there is... 355 00:13:42,061 --> 00:13:44,595 No, no way. Not in a million years. 356 00:13:44,597 --> 00:13:45,796 - Mommy! - Give me the book. 357 00:13:45,798 --> 00:13:48,232 Give me the stupid book. 358 00:13:51,603 --> 00:13:52,936 One second, sweetie. 359 00:13:52,938 --> 00:13:55,572 Mommy just lost a contact. 360 00:13:55,574 --> 00:13:57,107 I don't wear contacts. 361 00:13:57,109 --> 00:13:58,809 You do now. What is happening? 362 00:13:58,811 --> 00:14:00,444 You're crying over a dead goldfish? 363 00:14:00,446 --> 00:14:02,046 You had to see that ending coming. 364 00:14:02,048 --> 00:14:04,348 It's just the words. 365 00:14:04,350 --> 00:14:07,684 "As we flushed Finny good-bye, 366 00:14:07,686 --> 00:14:09,987 "we knew we would be reminded of him, 367 00:14:09,989 --> 00:14:12,056 "whether we were at the aquarium 368 00:14:12,058 --> 00:14:15,459 "or seeing his empty fishbowl 369 00:14:15,461 --> 00:14:20,097 or just flushing the toilet for another reason." 370 00:14:20,099 --> 00:14:22,766 It can't be the words. 371 00:14:22,768 --> 00:14:24,101 Ang, come on. 372 00:14:24,103 --> 00:14:26,036 You know I'm a church-loving man. 373 00:14:26,038 --> 00:14:27,604 I know you love the clothes and the food 374 00:14:27,606 --> 00:14:29,273 and the wine and the socializing. 375 00:14:29,275 --> 00:14:31,542 They do love my announcements. 376 00:14:31,544 --> 00:14:34,278 Yeah, but I want to know what you believe, 377 00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:36,647 because when we got married, we were equally yoked. 378 00:14:36,649 --> 00:14:39,116 What changed? 379 00:14:39,118 --> 00:14:41,652 Can I pray on it right quick? 380 00:14:43,355 --> 00:14:46,156 Okay, okay, here's the thing. 381 00:14:46,158 --> 00:14:49,727 Before I met you, I felt like I was crushing it in church. 382 00:14:49,729 --> 00:14:53,263 But since we got married, it's just you feel it so much. 383 00:14:53,265 --> 00:14:55,132 I mean, I believe, 384 00:14:55,134 --> 00:14:57,267 but, babe, you, like, believe believe. 385 00:14:57,269 --> 00:15:00,738 So my faith has caused you to question your faith? 386 00:15:00,740 --> 00:15:03,874 Look... 387 00:15:03,876 --> 00:15:06,677 a chicken has died. 388 00:15:06,679 --> 00:15:09,880 Can we somehow find a way to let this bring us together? 389 00:15:12,217 --> 00:15:14,785 I just... I keep thinking about Lolo. 390 00:15:14,787 --> 00:15:16,620 Every morning he would drive me to figure skating 391 00:15:16,622 --> 00:15:18,122 in that crappy blue station wagon. 392 00:15:18,124 --> 00:15:19,323 Oh, that's right. 393 00:15:19,325 --> 00:15:20,658 Didn't he get his license at 70? 394 00:15:20,660 --> 00:15:22,326 Just so he can drive me. 395 00:15:22,328 --> 00:15:24,428 Scariest seven minutes of my day. 396 00:15:24,430 --> 00:15:25,863 So sweet. 397 00:15:25,865 --> 00:15:27,064 I want to talk to him. 398 00:15:27,066 --> 00:15:30,034 - To who? - Lolo. 399 00:15:30,036 --> 00:15:31,635 I'm gonna do it. 400 00:15:31,637 --> 00:15:33,037 I'm gonna ask Josh to do a session. 401 00:15:33,039 --> 00:15:34,838 What? Tracy, that's crazy. 402 00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:36,173 - Why would you dignify... - Daddy? 403 00:15:36,175 --> 00:15:38,308 - Yeah, babe? - I want to pray. 404 00:15:40,011 --> 00:15:42,246 Frickin' Gloria. 405 00:15:44,063 --> 00:15:45,340 Oh, okay. 406 00:15:45,688 --> 00:15:48,222 - You want to pray, huh? - Yeah, like in church. 407 00:15:48,224 --> 00:15:49,690 At least someone wants to do it. 408 00:15:49,692 --> 00:15:51,359 - Babe. - What a night. 409 00:15:51,361 --> 00:15:52,627 First, Daddy gave you bathroom water. 410 00:15:52,629 --> 00:15:54,161 Now we're gonna pray. Okay. 411 00:15:54,163 --> 00:15:56,564 Hey, A-Ang? 412 00:15:56,566 --> 00:15:58,766 Ang, your fingerprints are all over this. 413 00:15:58,768 --> 00:16:00,034 Little help, please? 414 00:16:00,036 --> 00:16:01,736 Well, start filling the tub, 415 00:16:01,738 --> 00:16:03,704 'cause we're taking Sadie to the water. 416 00:16:03,706 --> 00:16:06,374 Okay, can we dial that back by almost all of it? 417 00:16:08,310 --> 00:16:09,677 Should we put our hands together like this... 418 00:16:09,679 --> 00:16:14,226 - Let's hold hands. - Oh, we're... Okay. 419 00:16:14,284 --> 00:16:16,917 Baruch atah Adonai... 420 00:16:16,919 --> 00:16:20,421 - Daddy, you're scaring me. - [clears throat] 421 00:16:20,423 --> 00:16:23,791 Okay, Aunt Angie's tagging in. 422 00:16:23,793 --> 00:16:28,329 Lord, we ask that you bring peace and comfort to Sadie 423 00:16:28,331 --> 00:16:30,731 and help her and those around her 424 00:16:30,733 --> 00:16:33,401 to see Your truth in their moment of need. 425 00:16:33,403 --> 00:16:35,236 - Am... - And to let those 426 00:16:35,238 --> 00:16:37,004 who are seeking You, find You. 427 00:16:37,006 --> 00:16:39,840 Let those who are caught up in the trappings of the world, 428 00:16:39,842 --> 00:16:41,509 like over-dressing, 429 00:16:41,511 --> 00:16:44,278 glory-seeking, wife-misleading... 430 00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:45,947 [clears throat] 431 00:16:45,949 --> 00:16:48,582 Find their way to You. 432 00:16:48,584 --> 00:16:50,885 We pray in Jesus... 433 00:16:50,887 --> 00:16:52,219 [clears throat] 434 00:16:52,221 --> 00:16:55,756 Most of us pray in Jesus' name. 435 00:16:55,758 --> 00:16:57,058 All: Amen. 436 00:16:57,060 --> 00:16:58,793 Carl Sagan. You good? 437 00:16:58,795 --> 00:17:03,000 - My turn. - Her turn. 438 00:17:04,801 --> 00:17:07,301 I miss Russell the chicken. 439 00:17:07,303 --> 00:17:09,870 God, may You please bring him back. 440 00:17:09,872 --> 00:17:11,172 Amen. 441 00:17:11,174 --> 00:17:13,307 - Oh, sweetie... - Amen! 442 00:17:13,309 --> 00:17:16,677 Now, everybody out because I have to go to sleep. 443 00:17:16,679 --> 00:17:18,012 You heard the boss. 444 00:17:21,883 --> 00:17:23,784 Nice job. You still want to go on Sunday? 445 00:17:23,786 --> 00:17:25,753 I'm kidding. I'm kidding. 446 00:17:25,755 --> 00:17:28,322 Got to do my announcements. 447 00:17:31,393 --> 00:17:32,927 What are you doing? 448 00:17:32,929 --> 00:17:34,795 Mouth sundae. 449 00:17:34,797 --> 00:17:35,997 Where are they? 450 00:17:35,999 --> 00:17:38,199 Dining room. Don't bother them. 451 00:17:38,201 --> 00:17:41,369 Uh, did a little research on your Bae. 452 00:17:41,371 --> 00:17:43,504 He was arrested for check fraud. 453 00:17:43,506 --> 00:17:44,572 Yeah, I know. 454 00:17:44,574 --> 00:17:46,173 I'm a 26-year-old single woman. 455 00:17:46,175 --> 00:17:48,609 You don't think I know how to cyberstalk a guy? 456 00:17:48,611 --> 00:17:50,378 Sam, if you know, why are you dating him? 457 00:17:50,380 --> 00:17:52,847 'Cause I'm just dating him. No one's getting married. 458 00:17:54,683 --> 00:17:57,518 Does it help you to just think of it as casual sex? 459 00:17:57,520 --> 00:17:59,320 It does not. 460 00:17:59,322 --> 00:18:01,889 Would it totally destroy everything you believe in 461 00:18:01,891 --> 00:18:03,457 if Josh can actually do this? 462 00:18:03,459 --> 00:18:04,659 Yes. 463 00:18:04,661 --> 00:18:06,627 Okay, but... 464 00:18:06,629 --> 00:18:08,396 why won't you let your wife have this? 465 00:18:08,398 --> 00:18:10,431 You let your daughter pray. 466 00:18:10,433 --> 00:18:12,533 You're willing to let one woman in your life feel better 467 00:18:12,535 --> 00:18:13,935 but not the other? 468 00:18:17,139 --> 00:18:20,274 News flash... bowls exist. 469 00:18:22,210 --> 00:18:23,844 My favorite part of the day 470 00:18:23,846 --> 00:18:25,546 was that drive to figure skating. 471 00:18:25,548 --> 00:18:28,583 Anyway, when he got sick, 472 00:18:28,585 --> 00:18:30,217 I had to quit figure skating. 473 00:18:30,219 --> 00:18:33,354 I was mad. 474 00:18:33,356 --> 00:18:35,056 Didn't even visit him in the hospital. 475 00:18:35,058 --> 00:18:39,060 My mom took me, and I stayed in the hall. 476 00:18:40,929 --> 00:18:44,865 I wish I'd gone in to say good-bye. 477 00:18:44,867 --> 00:18:47,268 I wish I'd thanked him. 478 00:18:49,571 --> 00:18:52,240 Can you thank him for me? 479 00:18:52,242 --> 00:18:55,643 [inhales deeply] 480 00:18:58,180 --> 00:19:01,749 You just did. He hears you. 481 00:19:01,751 --> 00:19:05,520 You know how on Saturday morning 482 00:19:05,522 --> 00:19:07,455 you drive Sadie to ballet? 483 00:19:07,457 --> 00:19:09,290 Yeah. 484 00:19:09,292 --> 00:19:12,927 He says that every time you drive her that... 485 00:19:12,929 --> 00:19:14,729 that that is you thanking him. 486 00:19:16,598 --> 00:19:18,833 That's his love, still in the world. 487 00:19:27,876 --> 00:19:29,944 - Mmm. - Mm-hmm. 488 00:19:29,946 --> 00:19:31,979 It's good. 489 00:19:31,981 --> 00:19:34,715 How'd it go? 490 00:19:34,717 --> 00:19:36,284 Pretty great. 491 00:19:36,286 --> 00:19:38,819 Yeah. 492 00:19:38,821 --> 00:19:40,655 You probably think it's stupid. 493 00:19:40,657 --> 00:19:41,822 I don't. 494 00:19:41,824 --> 00:19:44,358 So you think it's real? 495 00:19:46,228 --> 00:19:48,496 Something real definitely happened in there. 496 00:19:57,105 --> 00:19:58,472 You're welcome. 497 00:20:01,777 --> 00:20:04,145 There is the matter of the bill. 498 00:20:04,147 --> 00:20:06,914 Of course. 499 00:20:06,916 --> 00:20:08,082 Let me write you a check. 500 00:20:08,084 --> 00:20:09,851 - Probably not a check. - Right, cash it is. 501 00:20:12,521 --> 00:20:16,958 [children laughing, shouting playfully] 502 00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:19,327 Russell's back! He came back! 503 00:20:19,329 --> 00:20:22,763 Yes, he did, just like Jesus! 504 00:20:24,299 --> 00:20:25,867 - What was that for? - You think I don't know 505 00:20:25,869 --> 00:20:28,136 who put that chicken in there? 506 00:20:28,138 --> 00:20:30,872 - Wait. You did this? - Sadie asked God for something. 507 00:20:30,874 --> 00:20:32,540 I couldn't let her little prayers go unanswered. 508 00:20:32,542 --> 00:20:34,609 What is happening here? 509 00:20:34,611 --> 00:20:36,477 The coolest chicken always comes back, Gloria. 510 00:20:36,479 --> 00:20:39,113 Wrap your head around that. 511 00:20:39,115 --> 00:20:40,648 It may not have been the best plan, 512 00:20:40,650 --> 00:20:42,316 but it shows you have a good heart. 513 00:20:42,318 --> 00:20:45,186 I have faith in you, Russell. 514 00:20:45,188 --> 00:20:46,387 [chickens clucking] 515 00:20:46,389 --> 00:20:47,655 Wow, new Russell is really 516 00:20:47,657 --> 00:20:49,156 having trouble making friends. 517 00:20:49,158 --> 00:20:51,793 - Where'd you get this chicken? - Someplace in East LA. 518 00:20:51,795 --> 00:20:54,462 Russell, did you get a cockfighting rooster? 519 00:20:54,464 --> 00:20:56,731 Apparently prize-winning! 520 00:20:56,733 --> 00:20:59,801 - Ooh, start praying! - Way ahead of you, baby. 521 00:20:59,803 --> 00:21:01,029 Look, kids! There's candy! 522 00:21:01,650 --> 00:21:03,911 Look away, children! Look away! 523 00:21:04,294 --> 00:21:05,572 - Candy! - Look away! 524 00:21:05,753 --> 00:21:06,824 [chickens clucking] 525 00:21:06,874 --> 00:21:11,424 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 38627

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