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1
00:00:02,225 --> 00:00:05,500
You sat through "Lincoln,"
"Lincoln Lawyer,"
2
00:00:05,535 --> 00:00:07,335
"Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter."
3
00:00:07,370 --> 00:00:11,440
In return, I offer you "Magic Mike."
4
00:00:11,474 --> 00:00:13,708
Nice. My very own Channing Tatum.
5
00:00:13,742 --> 00:00:16,378
How long has it been
since we've been able to
6
00:00:16,412 --> 00:00:18,346
just sit and watch a movie?
7
00:00:18,381 --> 00:00:20,681
[sighs]
When you broke your leg.
8
00:00:20,715 --> 00:00:22,649
- Oh, yeah, that was the be.
- Yeah.
9
00:00:22,684 --> 00:00:24,351
[up-tempo music plays]
10
00:00:24,386 --> 00:00:28,289
- You guys are watching "Magic Mike"?!
- We're trying to.
11
00:00:28,323 --> 00:00:31,158
- Well, have fun, you gross perverts.
- Good night.
12
00:00:31,193 --> 00:00:32,826
Okeydoke... [doorbell rings]
13
00:00:32,860 --> 00:00:34,228
[sighs] Shoot.
14
00:00:34,562 --> 00:00:37,797
- Peter.
- Diane, every time you say my name,
15
00:00:37,831 --> 00:00:39,999
I feel like I did something wrong.
Did I do something wrong?
16
00:00:40,033 --> 00:00:41,468
- Warren?
- Come on in.
17
00:00:41,502 --> 00:00:42,635
Warren? [door closes]
18
00:00:42,669 --> 00:00:46,573
- Oh, Mom's here! Yes!
- Warren.
19
00:00:46,607 --> 00:00:48,475
- Hello, Katherine.
- Hello.
20
00:00:48,509 --> 00:00:51,643
- I brought you a lot more study
guides for your PPSATs. - Oh, fun.
21
00:00:51,677 --> 00:00:53,979
And how are the vocabulary
flash cards coming?
22
00:00:54,013 --> 00:00:56,715
Awesome!
Or should I say "abominably"?
23
00:00:56,749 --> 00:01:00,852
- Okay. And, uh, how's the math coming?
- Oh, e-elusive.
24
00:01:00,886 --> 00:01:05,690
Okay, Warren, if you do great on
this test, the sky is the limit.
25
00:01:05,725 --> 00:01:09,027
But if you don't, you
could end up becoming a CPA
26
00:01:09,061 --> 00:01:11,496
or, god forbid, a dermatologist.
27
00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:14,531
- I don't know what I want to do.
- Oh, don't worry about it, Warren.
28
00:01:14,643 --> 00:01:16,434
I didn't know what I wanted to
do when I was your age, either.
29
00:01:16,468 --> 00:01:17,602
[scoffs] Thank you, Kate.
30
00:01:17,637 --> 00:01:20,839
[mumbling] This is why
we need to study, okay?
31
00:01:20,873 --> 00:01:23,674
[smooches]
All right. See you later.
32
00:01:23,708 --> 00:01:25,509
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
33
00:01:25,543 --> 00:01:28,345
- Drop by anytime.
- You look tired. Get some rest.
34
00:01:28,379 --> 00:01:29,513
Okay.
35
00:01:29,547 --> 00:01:31,181
[groans]
36
00:01:31,215 --> 00:01:33,350
[singsong voice] You used
to kiss that. [door closes]
37
00:01:33,384 --> 00:01:36,120
Let's just go back
to the stripper movie.
38
00:01:36,154 --> 00:01:38,055
[crunches]
[door opens, slams closed]
39
00:01:38,089 --> 00:01:41,090
- Kate, get the big bottle of tequila.
- Oh, come on.
40
00:01:41,125 --> 00:01:42,191
- My life is over.
- What?
41
00:01:42,225 --> 00:01:44,460
Tevin and I got in
a huge fight and broke up.
42
00:01:44,494 --> 00:01:46,029
- I can stay here tonight, right?
- Of course.
43
00:01:46,063 --> 00:01:48,865
- Oh, my god. What happened?
- I hate men. I hate them.
44
00:01:48,899 --> 00:01:52,068
- Oh, I know. They're the worst.
- The next man I see,
45
00:01:52,102 --> 00:01:53,369
I swear I'm gonna punch him in the face.
46
00:01:53,403 --> 00:01:55,104
You know what? I'm gonna
give you guys some space.
47
00:01:55,139 --> 00:01:57,473
- Oh, honey, leave the wine.
- The wine.
48
00:01:57,507 --> 00:02:00,742
- And the popcorn.
- And the popcorn.
49
00:02:00,777 --> 00:02:01,910
Thanks.
50
00:02:01,944 --> 00:02:04,913
1x04 - The Breakup
51
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:08,074
Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
52
00:02:10,461 --> 00:02:13,491
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ addic7ed.com ~
53
00:02:16,047 --> 00:02:17,542
Kate: Milk.
54
00:02:19,636 --> 00:02:21,712
I just can't believe
it's over with Tevin.
55
00:02:21,747 --> 00:02:24,816
- We've been through so much together.
- It's been two weeks, right?
56
00:02:24,850 --> 00:02:26,318
Yeah, but I could have
seen myself with him
57
00:02:26,352 --> 00:02:29,519
- for, like, almost three months.
- That's when you know it's real.
58
00:02:29,554 --> 00:02:32,156
Vodka.
59
00:02:32,190 --> 00:02:35,159
Other Vodka.
Water.
60
00:02:35,193 --> 00:02:36,193
Just kidding.
61
00:02:36,227 --> 00:02:38,028
- Third Vodka.
- What are you guys making?
62
00:02:38,063 --> 00:02:42,199
Meg-nog. It's the official
drink of Meg's break-ups.
63
00:02:42,233 --> 00:02:44,667
And then you salt the
rim with ibuprofen?
64
00:02:44,701 --> 00:02:47,403
- No, but that's a great idea.
- Ice?
65
00:02:47,438 --> 00:02:49,038
[thud]
66
00:02:49,073 --> 00:02:52,775
Oh. There you go, babe.
Let it out.
67
00:02:53,910 --> 00:02:56,912
Um, can you guys just
try and keep it down?
68
00:02:56,947 --> 00:02:59,915
If I don't get an "A" on this,
it'll affect my overall GPA,
69
00:02:59,950 --> 00:03:02,884
which means I'll end
up at a state school.
70
00:03:03,719 --> 00:03:06,554
- Do you get beat up a lot?
- Do you get dumped a lot?
71
00:03:06,589 --> 00:03:08,756
Okay, Meg-nog coming up.
72
00:03:08,791 --> 00:03:10,725
[blender whirring]
73
00:03:10,759 --> 00:03:14,762
Maybe you guys should go out
so we don't disturb your drinking
74
00:03:14,797 --> 00:03:17,264
- with our studying.
- Good idea, Three-Pete.
75
00:03:17,299 --> 00:03:18,765
Yeah, because you've
been married three times.
76
00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:21,402
Yeah, I know why she said it, Warren.
77
00:03:21,436 --> 00:03:24,538
Hey, Bert, I got a surprise for you!
78
00:03:24,572 --> 00:03:27,708
- Is it my birthday again?!
- No, but Grandpa thinks it is.
79
00:03:27,742 --> 00:03:29,210
Why does he think it's my birthday?
80
00:03:29,244 --> 00:03:32,952
Oh, boy. Okay.
Well, when you grow older,
81
00:03:32,987 --> 00:03:35,848
your brain stops functioning
the way that it should,
82
00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:38,118
yeah, and dementia can start to set in,
83
00:03:38,152 --> 00:03:39,185
- and that's ...
- Oh, my goodness!
84
00:03:39,220 --> 00:03:42,288
- But it's part of life, you know?
- It's the LEGO Millennium Falcon!
85
00:03:42,323 --> 00:03:46,192
- I've always wanted this!
- It's from me and Grandpa!
86
00:03:46,227 --> 00:03:49,528
- Can you help me open it?!
- [chuckling] Yes! Let's see here.
87
00:03:49,562 --> 00:03:51,663
All right. Here we go.
88
00:03:56,736 --> 00:04:00,805
1,254 pieces?
What was Grandpa thinking?
89
00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:03,275
And you. And me a little,
but mostly Grandpa.
90
00:04:03,309 --> 00:04:05,560
Okay. You know what?
91
00:04:05,561 --> 00:04:07,811
- Time for bed!
- I'm awake!
92
00:04:07,846 --> 00:04:10,448
- My bedtime's not until 8:30.
- Night-night.
93
00:04:10,482 --> 00:04:14,118
Good morning!
[clears throat]
94
00:04:14,153 --> 00:04:15,619
You and Meg have fun last night?
95
00:04:15,654 --> 00:04:17,555
Uh... aah.
96
00:04:19,491 --> 00:04:21,824
That means there's probably
salt in my belly button.
97
00:04:21,859 --> 00:04:25,328
Okay, uh, this is not a good look.
The kids are gonna be up any minute,
98
00:04:25,363 --> 00:04:27,564
so you and Gary Busey
have to get it together.
99
00:04:27,598 --> 00:04:30,787
Aah! My project.
100
00:04:30,822 --> 00:04:33,503
- Too late.
- My project is ruined!
101
00:04:33,538 --> 00:04:34,571
Ohh.
102
00:04:34,605 --> 00:04:36,305
Shh. Hillary, lower your voice.
103
00:04:36,339 --> 00:04:39,362
And close the blinds
and get me a bucket.
104
00:04:40,110 --> 00:04:44,012
Do you understand?
Someone ate my solar system!
105
00:04:44,047 --> 00:04:46,014
Okay, can someone put
a bagel in that girl's mouth?
106
00:04:46,049 --> 00:04:48,517
Uh, you have a gummy bear in your hair.
107
00:04:48,552 --> 00:04:50,319
- What?
- I really need that bucket.
108
00:04:50,353 --> 00:04:54,289
[gasps] It was you.
You ate my project.
109
00:04:54,323 --> 00:04:57,758
- There's even chocolate on your shirt.
- Whoa. What are you implying?
110
00:04:57,793 --> 00:04:59,627
That you ate my homework, dummy!
111
00:04:59,661 --> 00:05:02,797
Um, hey, guys. Somebody
puked in my slippers.
112
00:05:02,831 --> 00:05:05,166
- Ah.
- And she even ate the foam.
113
00:05:06,168 --> 00:05:09,769
Okay, this is... starting to
feel like a real witch hunt.
114
00:05:10,705 --> 00:05:14,241
You ate the styrofoam, Meg?
115
00:05:21,552 --> 00:05:23,787
- Here, bud.
- Thank you.
116
00:05:23,821 --> 00:05:25,521
Oh, that's a spoon. I need a ...
117
00:05:25,555 --> 00:05:28,157
- Yep, and a fork.
- Fork. Yep. There you go.
118
00:05:28,891 --> 00:05:33,396
That vagrant ate my homework.
Dad, it's due in three weeks.
119
00:05:33,430 --> 00:05:36,232
- Pete: So you still have time.
- Meg is really sorry.
120
00:05:36,566 --> 00:05:38,801
No. No, I'm not.
I didn't do anything.
121
00:05:38,835 --> 00:05:40,135
I'll take a DNA test.
122
00:05:40,170 --> 00:05:41,836
You want me to pee in
another cup? I'll do it.
123
00:05:41,870 --> 00:05:43,905
Another cup?
There was a first cup?
124
00:05:43,939 --> 00:05:45,340
Dad, I'm going to be in the car.
125
00:05:45,374 --> 00:05:48,576
- Okay, honey, I'll be right there.
- Meg.
126
00:05:48,611 --> 00:05:50,712
- Did she just put a sandwich
in a briefcase? - Yep.
127
00:05:50,746 --> 00:05:52,580
[door slams]
Why do you guys look so bad?
128
00:05:52,615 --> 00:05:53,682
Uh, they're sick, honey.
129
00:05:53,716 --> 00:05:57,751
- Oh! Is it diarrhea?
- No. God, I hope not.
130
00:05:57,786 --> 00:06:00,654
No, it's not diarrhea.
We're hung over.
131
00:06:00,689 --> 00:06:03,990
Oh! Well, do you guys want
my eggs? They're super-runny.
132
00:06:04,025 --> 00:06:06,527
[retches] That's okay.
Why don't we get something,
133
00:06:06,528 --> 00:06:08,995
- uh, on the way to school?
- Babe, I'm so sorry.
134
00:06:09,030 --> 00:06:10,497
You know,
last time Meg had a break-up,
135
00:06:10,532 --> 00:06:12,765
I didn't have to get up
at 6:00 in the morning.
136
00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:14,334
No, no, no.
I'm not mad at you.
137
00:06:14,368 --> 00:06:16,402
Hey, Meg, do you want some
smoothie? [blender whirring]
138
00:06:16,437 --> 00:06:18,671
Aah! No!
139
00:06:18,706 --> 00:06:21,607
- Just want it to be really smooth.
- Come on!
140
00:06:21,642 --> 00:06:24,076
I'm glad you're enjoying
my first mom hangover.
141
00:06:24,110 --> 00:06:25,144
[sighs]
142
00:06:25,178 --> 00:06:27,647
Okay, I'm gonna take the kids to school.
143
00:06:27,681 --> 00:06:30,148
Wow.
Uh, I'll take the kids to school.
144
00:06:30,182 --> 00:06:33,117
You hydrate and take as
much time as you need.
145
00:06:33,152 --> 00:06:35,453
Just get her out.
146
00:06:35,487 --> 00:06:37,120
- You got it.
- Geez.
147
00:06:37,155 --> 00:06:39,957
- Okay, you ready, bud?
- Yep.
148
00:06:39,991 --> 00:06:40,958
Hydrate.
149
00:06:40,992 --> 00:06:43,033
- Bye, Warren.
- Bye.
150
00:06:43,068 --> 00:06:45,396
[door closes] Oh, finally.
151
00:06:45,430 --> 00:06:47,398
Just the two of us.
I thought they'd never leave.
152
00:06:47,432 --> 00:06:48,733
Hey, you know what would be cool?
153
00:06:48,767 --> 00:06:51,133
We should take naps in everyone's beds.
154
00:06:51,168 --> 00:06:53,135
No, Meg. I don't have
time to take a nap.
155
00:06:53,170 --> 00:06:56,373
I have so many things to do.
Don't you have something to do today?
156
00:06:56,407 --> 00:06:58,307
No, I don't have anything
till tomorrow at midnight.
157
00:06:58,342 --> 00:07:01,077
Hey, does that little Chinese
kid have a racecar bed?
158
00:07:01,111 --> 00:07:05,248
- No, and his name is Bert.
- Did he come with that name? [scoffs]
159
00:07:08,117 --> 00:07:09,385
Are we done yet?!
160
00:07:09,419 --> 00:07:13,955
Almost! I think I got all
the grays for the wing.
161
00:07:13,990 --> 00:07:17,259
The wing is light gray, not dark gray.
162
00:07:17,293 --> 00:07:21,830
What kind of maniac makes two grays?!
Why is this so hard?
163
00:07:21,865 --> 00:07:25,466
- It says ages 9 to 14.
I'm 8 and you're ... - 26.
164
00:07:25,501 --> 00:07:27,301
Maybe we should put
this away till next year.
165
00:07:27,335 --> 00:07:31,739
Hey, sir, we are not giving up.
What do I always tell you?
166
00:07:31,774 --> 00:07:37,278
Both: You can do anything you
put your mind to, even fly.
167
00:07:37,312 --> 00:07:39,946
Maybe what we need is just
a little bit of brain food,
168
00:07:39,980 --> 00:07:41,748
huh, and we know what that means, right?
169
00:07:41,783 --> 00:07:44,384
- Salmon!
- Popcorn!
170
00:07:46,687 --> 00:07:48,655
[cellphone vibrating]
171
00:07:48,689 --> 00:07:49,689
[cellphone beeps]
172
00:07:49,724 --> 00:07:52,292
- Go for Warren.
- Hi, Warren. It's Jackie.
173
00:07:52,326 --> 00:07:54,993
Hi. Are you on a long drive
and need someone to talk to?
174
00:07:55,028 --> 00:07:56,261
No, not this time.
175
00:07:56,296 --> 00:07:58,997
- Hey, you like Legos, right?
- Yes, I love them.
176
00:07:59,032 --> 00:08:00,566
Why don't you come on over here
177
00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:03,001
and help us put together
this, uh... Millennium Falcon.
178
00:08:03,036 --> 00:08:05,704
'Cause just Bert's really freaking out.
179
00:08:05,739 --> 00:08:08,669
Well, I'm supposed to be
studying for the PPSATs.
180
00:08:08,704 --> 00:08:09,809
Wait. The ppsa... what?
181
00:08:09,843 --> 00:08:11,976
It's the Practice for
the Practice S.A.T.
182
00:08:12,010 --> 00:08:15,847
Are you telling me that there is a test
that prepares you for a test
183
00:08:15,881 --> 00:08:18,883
so that you can get into college
so you can, what, take more tests
184
00:08:18,918 --> 00:08:21,786
so you can go to grad
school, take more tests?
185
00:08:21,821 --> 00:08:24,288
God! I mean, I didn't go
to college, and look at me.
186
00:08:24,323 --> 00:08:26,791
I got eight businesses.
I got a healthy alimony.
187
00:08:26,826 --> 00:08:29,126
Hey, I teach seniors
how to do acupuncture
188
00:08:29,161 --> 00:08:32,863
- right on my own front lawn.
- I guess when you put it that way...
189
00:08:32,897 --> 00:08:35,754
Yeah, I mean, not bad, right?
Not bad.
190
00:08:35,789 --> 00:08:37,468
So why don't you get
your butt on over here
191
00:08:37,502 --> 00:08:39,870
and, uh, help us do this Lego thing
192
00:08:39,904 --> 00:08:43,506
- 'cause Bert's making salmon and popcorn?
- All right, I'll be there soon.
193
00:08:44,540 --> 00:08:46,676
- Hey.
- Hey.
194
00:08:46,710 --> 00:08:48,911
Oh. Hey. Look what I got.
195
00:08:48,946 --> 00:08:50,680
Ta-da!
196
00:08:50,714 --> 00:08:52,748
Do you know that Warren's
been wearing women's slippers?
197
00:08:52,783 --> 00:08:54,817
Yeah, he says it's softer on his feet.
198
00:08:54,852 --> 00:08:56,519
Wow, kid's really
comfortable in his own skin.
199
00:08:56,553 --> 00:08:59,588
[doorbell rings]
200
00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:03,586
- Hi!
- Hi, Helene. Oh, my gosh.
201
00:09:03,621 --> 00:09:06,079
Did we leave the trash cans
out on the street again?
202
00:09:06,114 --> 00:09:08,881
- No.
- Oh, did the sprinklers come on too early?
203
00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:10,668
- No.
- So...?
204
00:09:10,703 --> 00:09:14,536
No big deal, but Gavin and his
friend were on the swing set,
205
00:09:14,570 --> 00:09:17,271
- and they saw a topless
woman in your pool. - Oh!
206
00:09:17,306 --> 00:09:19,374
- So... yeah.
- Oh, I'll take care of that.
207
00:09:19,408 --> 00:09:20,541
- Thank you.
- Thanks!
208
00:09:20,575 --> 00:09:23,677
- Thank you. You look great.
- Aw, thanks.
209
00:09:23,712 --> 00:09:27,048
S-o-o-o-o?
How's Hele-e-e-ne?
210
00:09:27,082 --> 00:09:31,155
Were you, by any chance,
swimming topless in the pool?
211
00:09:31,190 --> 00:09:34,555
- No... Oh. I bet it was Meg.
- You think?
212
00:09:34,589 --> 00:09:39,894
Remember when it was just you, me,
my three kids, my two ex-wives?
213
00:09:39,928 --> 00:09:42,563
Don't you want to go
back to that simpler time?
214
00:09:42,597 --> 00:09:44,364
[chuckles] What's up?
215
00:09:44,399 --> 00:09:46,366
- Aah! Meg!
- Whoa!
216
00:09:46,401 --> 00:09:47,800
- Uh, uh...
- Whoa!
217
00:09:47,835 --> 00:09:50,217
- Uh...
- Take a picture. I'll last longer.
218
00:09:50,252 --> 00:09:51,804
Um... this is ...
this is our home.
219
00:09:51,839 --> 00:09:55,542
Children live here?
Our neighbor was just at the door.
220
00:09:55,576 --> 00:09:58,878
She's freaking out
because her son saw you...
221
00:09:58,913 --> 00:10:02,214
- swimming topless in the pool.
- Yeah, I saw him, too.
222
00:10:02,249 --> 00:10:03,882
What's a 14-year-old still
doing playing on a swing set.
223
00:10:03,917 --> 00:10:05,383
[scoffs] Loser.
224
00:10:05,418 --> 00:10:07,719
Okay, Meg, here's the thing.
225
00:10:07,754 --> 00:10:10,388
Yeah, okay.
Here's the thing.
226
00:10:10,423 --> 00:10:13,324
- Although we love having you
here, of course... - Love it.
227
00:10:13,359 --> 00:10:15,827
- ...and we'd love for you to stay another night.
- That would be great.
228
00:10:15,862 --> 00:10:20,497
Uh, but Hillary is having her
whole model U.N. club here.
229
00:10:20,532 --> 00:10:22,994
- So you can't walk around topless.
- And so when they come here,
230
00:10:23,029 --> 00:10:24,698
- They're gonna ask you to be, like ...
- Clothed.
231
00:10:24,733 --> 00:10:27,582
Like, somebody ... like,
you know, from Mexico.
232
00:10:27,617 --> 00:10:30,707
[trills tongue]
And they're all united as nations.
233
00:10:30,742 --> 00:10:32,209
- Oh. Pass.
- Yeah.
234
00:10:32,243 --> 00:10:34,344
Do you want me to drive you to
your mother's or your brother's?
235
00:10:34,379 --> 00:10:37,713
- No. I know where I'm not wanted.
- Do you? Do you know?
236
00:10:38,448 --> 00:10:42,118
Now, I don't mean to brag,
but I've only been here for an hour
237
00:10:42,153 --> 00:10:45,621
and I think we're ready
to begin the fist step.
238
00:10:45,656 --> 00:10:47,724
Warren, you're a genius!
239
00:10:47,758 --> 00:10:50,226
I should be. I mean, I did
the second grade two times.
240
00:10:50,260 --> 00:10:52,961
[cellphone vibrates]
Oh.
241
00:10:52,996 --> 00:10:54,296
[cellphone beeps]
Go for Warren.
242
00:10:54,330 --> 00:10:55,731
- Diane: Hey, sweetie.
- Oh, hey, Mom.
243
00:10:55,765 --> 00:10:58,734
- How's the studying going?
- Oh, great.
244
00:10:58,768 --> 00:11:01,070
Or should I say "super-fluous"?
245
00:11:01,104 --> 00:11:03,371
I think this looks pretty good.
We should just leave it.
246
00:11:03,406 --> 00:11:06,208
Um, Warren, can you put your Dad on?
247
00:11:06,242 --> 00:11:10,244
Uh...
yeah, yeah, sure. One second.
248
00:11:11,780 --> 00:11:14,415
[deep voice] Go for Peter.
249
00:11:14,449 --> 00:11:17,585
Warren, I'm in your room.
250
00:11:17,619 --> 00:11:18,753
[sighs]
251
00:11:18,787 --> 00:11:22,423
Diane, this isn't a good time.
We just reached a verdict.
252
00:11:22,457 --> 00:11:24,390
Warren! [cellphone beeps]
253
00:11:24,425 --> 00:11:29,062
Oh, crap.
Tevin's motorcycle's here.
254
00:11:29,097 --> 00:11:31,898
Does his license plate
really say "Tevin4ever"?
255
00:11:31,933 --> 00:11:35,235
No, it says "Tevinfever."
Can you come in with me?
256
00:11:35,269 --> 00:11:36,837
I'm scared that I'm gonna,
like, sleep with him.
257
00:11:36,871 --> 00:11:38,438
Yeah, you know, I wish I could,
258
00:11:38,472 --> 00:11:40,940
but I really got to get back
to that model U.N. thing.
259
00:11:40,974 --> 00:11:43,275
- You'll be fine.
- Maybe I'll just go back to your house.
260
00:11:43,309 --> 00:11:44,276
I'll come in.
261
00:11:44,310 --> 00:11:45,444
...man
262
00:11:45,478 --> 00:11:48,480
[notes play]
263
00:11:48,514 --> 00:11:50,983
- Are you here to apologize?
- No.
264
00:11:51,017 --> 00:11:53,986
Did she tell you?
She threw out my mustard.
265
00:11:54,020 --> 00:11:57,255
Okay.
So what's this really about?
266
00:11:57,289 --> 00:11:59,590
I'm just upset that we've been
living together for a while now.
267
00:11:59,625 --> 00:12:02,093
- Two weeks.
- Things have been going really well.
268
00:12:02,128 --> 00:12:04,295
- We were getting closer.
- Eh...
269
00:12:04,329 --> 00:12:06,931
And then she goes and throws
away a perfectly good mustard!
270
00:12:06,966 --> 00:12:10,434
So, wait, this is literally
about a jar of mustard?
271
00:12:10,469 --> 00:12:12,269
I didn't touch your stupid mustard!
272
00:12:12,303 --> 00:12:15,272
- Kate, vouch for me.
- Oh, really? It's stupid?
273
00:12:15,306 --> 00:12:17,975
It wasn't so stupid when you
were putting it on your sandwich!
274
00:12:18,009 --> 00:12:22,345
- And pretzel!
- This is literally about a jar of mustard?
275
00:12:22,380 --> 00:12:24,447
- Yeah.
- Just go buy new mustard!
276
00:12:24,482 --> 00:12:26,817
Oh, yeah, I'll just go
to the freaking store
277
00:12:26,851 --> 00:12:28,885
and get a new curry-infused
mustard from my cousin!
278
00:12:28,919 --> 00:12:30,686
What are you doing?!
You're being ridiculous!
279
00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:33,856
- He's being ridiculous, right?
- You're both being ridiculous.
280
00:12:33,891 --> 00:12:35,858
It's mustard!
It's a condiment!
281
00:12:35,893 --> 00:12:39,195
And not even the best one!
282
00:12:39,229 --> 00:12:43,166
Hey! What the hell, man?
You were supposed to back me up.
283
00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:46,501
I don't have time to babysit
your crazy relationships, okay?
284
00:12:46,535 --> 00:12:49,671
- I have stuff to do.
- Oh, what, like model U.N.?
285
00:12:49,705 --> 00:12:52,073
'Cause fake government
meetings are so important?
286
00:12:52,108 --> 00:12:55,119
You want to know the truth?
There is no model U.N., okay?
287
00:12:55,154 --> 00:12:56,678
It was a fake-fake government meeting.
288
00:12:56,712 --> 00:12:59,647
- You lied to me?
- Yes, I lied to you. I had to.
289
00:12:59,682 --> 00:13:02,850
You came into my home,
and you ate Hillary's solar system,
290
00:13:02,884 --> 00:13:04,384
then you puked in Warren's slippers,
291
00:13:04,419 --> 00:13:06,053
and then you traumatized
the neighbor's kid
292
00:13:06,087 --> 00:13:10,490
- by showing him your boobs.
- He loved it. It was fun.
293
00:13:10,525 --> 00:13:12,159
Remember that?
You used to like fun.
294
00:13:12,194 --> 00:13:15,495
Well, I still do like fun,
okay, but now I have responsibilities.
295
00:13:15,530 --> 00:13:18,031
I can't be out till 2:00 A.M.
in the morning drinking Meg-nog.
296
00:13:18,065 --> 00:13:19,532
Well, I don't want to hang around
297
00:13:19,566 --> 00:13:21,868
and watch you fold
laundry and make snacks.
298
00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:25,705
Fine, then maybe we
should just take a break.
299
00:13:25,739 --> 00:13:28,041
- Maybe we should.
- Uh... yeah.
300
00:13:28,075 --> 00:13:30,376
Hey, don't forget to
put on your seatbelt
301
00:13:30,410 --> 00:13:31,844
and use your turn signals, mom!
302
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:35,447
[engine turns over]
303
00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:39,996
Hey, I found the mustard.
So we're good, right?
304
00:13:41,310 --> 00:13:42,999
[sighs]
305
00:13:48,148 --> 00:13:50,054
I think I've been
pretty clear about this.
306
00:13:50,129 --> 00:13:53,212
My client's claim is
that the fish were dead
307
00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:57,110
before he disposed of the
tetra-cyanide in the lake.
308
00:13:57,144 --> 00:13:59,445
I got to go. I hate my job.
[cellphone beeps]
309
00:13:59,479 --> 00:14:01,581
Meg and I just got
into the hugest fight.
310
00:14:01,615 --> 00:14:03,348
We're done.
Friendship is over.
311
00:14:03,382 --> 00:14:05,884
Is this a bad time to ask
about an E.T.A. on dinner?
312
00:14:06,753 --> 00:14:08,921
Is this a bad time for a joke?
Okay. What happened?
313
00:14:08,955 --> 00:14:11,223
Did she expose herself to more children?
314
00:14:11,257 --> 00:14:13,959
No, worse. She told me
that I wasn't fun anymore.
315
00:14:13,993 --> 00:14:18,130
Me. I'm super-fun!
Like, I bring the fun, you know?
316
00:14:18,164 --> 00:14:19,764
I can make anything fun!
317
00:14:19,798 --> 00:14:22,066
- Like, like, this pen!
- This is fun.
318
00:14:22,101 --> 00:14:25,069
Well, not that ... oh, noodles!
319
00:14:25,104 --> 00:14:27,972
Look! Whoo! Party!
320
00:14:28,006 --> 00:14:29,640
[sighs]
321
00:14:29,674 --> 00:14:34,545
- It's fun.
- What if we're growing apart, Pete?
322
00:14:34,579 --> 00:14:36,246
Well, it happens. People do.
323
00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:38,148
No, but Meg's been my best
friend since 8th grade.
324
00:14:38,182 --> 00:14:40,316
Pick up the phone, call Meg, apologize.
325
00:14:40,351 --> 00:14:43,486
- No. - It doesn't matter
who apologizes to who.
326
00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:45,288
Nobody's gonna remember the next day.
327
00:14:46,624 --> 00:14:48,024
Wait, do you apologize to me for things
328
00:14:48,059 --> 00:14:51,260
- that you're not really sorry for?
- I'm sorry.
329
00:14:51,294 --> 00:14:53,262
[groans]
330
00:14:53,296 --> 00:14:56,298
I probably shouldn't have said that.
331
00:14:56,332 --> 00:15:01,336
So, what's your mom like when she's mad?
332
00:15:01,371 --> 00:15:04,173
You know, she's, um ...
she's a little bit happier
333
00:15:04,207 --> 00:15:08,243
than she is when she's not mad
because, um, she loves being mad.
334
00:15:08,277 --> 00:15:11,880
Oh, boy.
[knocking on door]
335
00:15:13,649 --> 00:15:15,750
Diane! Hi!
336
00:15:15,785 --> 00:15:18,452
- Do you want to see my room?
- I do!
337
00:15:18,487 --> 00:15:20,822
But first I want to say hello
to your mother and brother.
338
00:15:20,856 --> 00:15:23,490
Okay.
Do you want a butterscotch?
339
00:15:23,524 --> 00:15:25,325
We keep them in this bowl by the door.
340
00:15:25,359 --> 00:15:29,263
Oh. I do!
Thank you, little guy.
341
00:15:29,297 --> 00:15:31,265
I can't believe that
you're playing with toys
342
00:15:31,299 --> 00:15:34,301
instead of studying for your test!
343
00:15:34,335 --> 00:15:36,203
Well, I-I mean, Jackie
said that it was stupid
344
00:15:36,237 --> 00:15:38,871
to take a test just to
prepare for another test.
345
00:15:38,906 --> 00:15:40,206
[crunches] Uh...
346
00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:41,674
Can I ... can I talk
to you for a minute?
347
00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:45,678
So, uh, well, uh ... um...
348
00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:46,879
I think Warren's very sensitive,
349
00:15:46,914 --> 00:15:50,883
and I think he's having,
like, a hard time living up
350
00:15:50,918 --> 00:15:52,051
to your expectations and ...
351
00:15:52,085 --> 00:15:53,219
- Excuse me.
- Yeah.
352
00:15:53,253 --> 00:15:57,388
- Did you just pull me aside?
- Um, did ... uh, I'm ... hmm. Did I?
353
00:15:57,423 --> 00:16:00,725
Okay, 'cause first of
all, no one pulls me aside.
354
00:16:00,759 --> 00:16:02,727
- Oh.
- I pull people aside.
355
00:16:02,761 --> 00:16:04,562
Oh, I can ... yeah ... see that.
356
00:16:04,596 --> 00:16:08,066
Second of all, if Warren
is bothered by something,
357
00:16:08,100 --> 00:16:10,168
I'm sure he'll talk to me about it.
358
00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:17,041
Oh, but, see, he's not telling you
because, um, you're... terrifying.
359
00:16:17,075 --> 00:16:19,543
[chuckles, scoffs]
360
00:16:19,577 --> 00:16:21,879
Come on, Warren. Let's go.
361
00:16:21,913 --> 00:16:23,013
[sighs]
362
00:16:24,182 --> 00:16:27,650
Warren, no, you can't go.
I can't do this without you.
363
00:16:27,684 --> 00:16:31,654
Yes, you can, Bert.
You can do a half-step offset,
364
00:16:31,688 --> 00:16:33,813
which I couldn't do until I was like 10.
365
00:16:33,848 --> 00:16:36,623
And I'm the best damn
Lego builder I've ever met.
366
00:16:38,362 --> 00:16:40,063
You've got this.
367
00:16:40,097 --> 00:16:42,498
[dog barking in distance]
368
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:46,168
- Why are you here?
- Can I...?
369
00:16:49,739 --> 00:16:52,207
I'm here because I am in
love with your best friend,
370
00:16:52,242 --> 00:16:55,277
and it is killing her to think
that she might be losing you.
371
00:16:55,311 --> 00:16:57,812
Really?
Because she basically abandoned me
372
00:16:57,847 --> 00:16:59,213
the second that you guys got married.
373
00:16:59,248 --> 00:17:02,049
Seriously, like, the
day after your wedding,
374
00:17:02,084 --> 00:17:05,586
- she just vanished for like a week.
- You're talking about our honeymoon?
375
00:17:05,620 --> 00:17:08,389
If she cared about me so much,
why didn't she come here herself?
376
00:17:08,423 --> 00:17:09,723
Well, you ... uh...
you know Kate.
377
00:17:09,758 --> 00:17:12,894
She's irrational.
She's emotional.
378
00:17:12,928 --> 00:17:15,896
She's a loose cannon.
Uh, she needs you.
379
00:17:15,930 --> 00:17:20,533
- You ... you ground her.
- Yeah. I do.
380
00:17:20,567 --> 00:17:22,035
- Did she say that?
- Yeah.
381
00:17:23,004 --> 00:17:25,805
I mean, I'm ... I'm
paraphrasing a little bit,
382
00:17:25,839 --> 00:17:28,408
but s-she thinks
about you all the time.
383
00:17:28,442 --> 00:17:30,076
So you're saying I'm still the most
384
00:17:30,111 --> 00:17:32,778
- important person in her life?
- Sure.
385
00:17:32,812 --> 00:17:36,715
I packed up all my stuff,
except my free weights.
386
00:17:36,749 --> 00:17:38,384
They're... too heavy to lift.
387
00:17:38,418 --> 00:17:39,718
This your new guy?
388
00:17:39,752 --> 00:17:41,921
- No.
- No, no, no, no, no.
389
00:17:41,955 --> 00:17:43,088
No, I'm, uh ... I'm Pete Harrison.
390
00:17:43,123 --> 00:17:44,723
- You must be Kevin.
- It's Kevin with a "T."
391
00:17:44,757 --> 00:17:46,158
You mean Tevin with a "T."
392
00:17:46,192 --> 00:17:49,327
No, man, that wouldn't make any
sense. Tevin already has a "T."
393
00:17:49,361 --> 00:17:51,796
You're right. Your way
makes much more sense.
394
00:17:51,830 --> 00:17:53,998
Okay, Tevin, this is Kate's husband.
395
00:17:54,033 --> 00:17:55,934
- Oh, she's hot!
- Well, thank you.
396
00:17:55,968 --> 00:17:58,336
- Man, you must be loaded.
- I get by.
397
00:17:58,370 --> 00:17:59,804
Bam-oh! [laughs]
398
00:17:59,838 --> 00:18:01,239
- How much you make a year?
- Let's talk numbers.
399
00:18:01,273 --> 00:18:03,106
Okay, you know, I should
probably get going.
400
00:18:03,141 --> 00:18:05,108
It was great to meet you, Tevin.
401
00:18:05,143 --> 00:18:07,010
You guys are great together.
402
00:18:07,045 --> 00:18:09,446
Diane: I know you think
I'm hard on you Warren,
403
00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:11,848
but I just want you to
have it better than I did.
404
00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:13,984
I-I want you to be
prepared for the future.
405
00:18:14,018 --> 00:18:16,853
I hate the future.
I just didn't realize
406
00:18:16,887 --> 00:18:18,621
that you had to have it
all figured out by now.
407
00:18:18,656 --> 00:18:20,622
You don't. You're only 15.
408
00:18:20,657 --> 00:18:22,624
And did you know what you
wanted to be when you grew up?
409
00:18:22,659 --> 00:18:25,694
Not even close. I had no idea.
410
00:18:25,728 --> 00:18:27,696
I only knew that I
wanted to be a surgeon
411
00:18:27,730 --> 00:18:30,532
and study under Dr.
Simprucci at Stanford,
412
00:18:30,567 --> 00:18:33,102
but no clue what I
wanted to specialize in.
413
00:18:33,136 --> 00:18:34,770
That makes me feel better.
414
00:18:34,804 --> 00:18:36,771
I just want you to do
your best and focus.
415
00:18:36,805 --> 00:18:38,340
And what if I'm not good at anything?
416
00:18:38,374 --> 00:18:40,508
You're good at lots of
things. I mean, come on.
417
00:18:40,542 --> 00:18:42,344
What you were doing today ...
418
00:18:42,378 --> 00:18:45,180
it required, um, infrastructure.
419
00:18:45,214 --> 00:18:46,714
So you could be an engineer, right?
420
00:18:46,748 --> 00:18:48,716
- Yeah.
- Okay.
421
00:18:48,750 --> 00:18:50,985
It required following
a complex blueprint.
422
00:18:51,019 --> 00:18:54,021
- So you could be an architect.
- Yeah.
423
00:18:54,055 --> 00:18:57,191
And it required
communicating with Jackie.
424
00:18:57,225 --> 00:18:59,860
Hello.
You could be an animal trainer.
425
00:18:59,894 --> 00:19:00,861
[chuckles]
426
00:19:00,895 --> 00:19:02,529
- I'm the best.
- Yes, you are.
427
00:19:02,563 --> 00:19:04,465
- Thanks, Mom.
- Yeah.
428
00:19:04,499 --> 00:19:05,632
You're awesome ...
oh, wait, wait.
429
00:19:05,666 --> 00:19:08,634
Or should I say...
"exonerated"?
430
00:19:08,668 --> 00:19:12,238
[laughing] Okay.
Okay, let's get you a tutor.
431
00:19:12,272 --> 00:19:14,040
[knock on door]
432
00:19:18,845 --> 00:19:20,846
- Hey.
- Oh. Hey.
433
00:19:20,881 --> 00:19:24,383
- Hey, Hillary!
- Tevin: Hey.
434
00:19:24,417 --> 00:19:27,185
- Hey, it's the Pete man!
- Kevin with a "T."
435
00:19:27,220 --> 00:19:29,587
I thought this place would be bigger.
436
00:19:29,622 --> 00:19:33,358
Oh, hi, Meg!
My homework's almost finished.
437
00:19:33,393 --> 00:19:34,826
Would you like for me
to heat it up for you?
438
00:19:34,860 --> 00:19:38,744
Uh, look, while we'll never
know what actually happened
439
00:19:38,779 --> 00:19:43,034
to your project, I felt bad,
so I thought I'd hook you up.
440
00:19:43,068 --> 00:19:45,202
Thanks, but I'm already high on life.
441
00:19:45,237 --> 00:19:46,637
Oh. Don't say that.
442
00:19:47,472 --> 00:19:50,374
I made you... this.
443
00:19:51,809 --> 00:19:54,778
- Wow.
- You're welcome.
444
00:19:54,812 --> 00:19:58,381
- Thanks.
- Kate: Meg, this is amazing.
445
00:19:58,416 --> 00:20:01,017
I mean, this must have
taken you like an hour.
446
00:20:01,052 --> 00:20:03,086
I know. I really came through.
447
00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:07,257
Um, guys, I think this
is missing some planets.
448
00:20:07,291 --> 00:20:09,926
Uh, well, little girl,
scientists don't agree
449
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:11,594
on how many planets there are.
450
00:20:11,628 --> 00:20:13,930
Well, yeah, but they all
agree there's more than five.
451
00:20:13,964 --> 00:20:16,599
Don't worry, honey. I'll help you
make a new one that has an Earth.
452
00:20:16,633 --> 00:20:17,600
Okay.
453
00:20:17,634 --> 00:20:22,872
- I'm sorry I lied to you.
- I'm sorry I said your life was crappy...
454
00:20:22,906 --> 00:20:25,240
and for what I called you on facebook.
455
00:20:25,275 --> 00:20:28,810
- [gasps] I'll take it down.
- I can't believe you.
456
00:20:28,844 --> 00:20:31,947
Bam-oh! Reconciled!
457
00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:32,981
- Bring it in, big guy.
- No.
458
00:20:34,116 --> 00:20:38,226
- It felt like the right moment.
- Not yet. Maybe never.
459
00:20:43,059 --> 00:20:44,944
[music in TV]
460
00:20:44,945 --> 00:20:47,947
...just keep those hands back
no, you don't grab that
461
00:20:47,981 --> 00:20:49,849
Channing Tatum's not only bearing his body.
# go on and lean back #
462
00:20:49,884 --> 00:20:50,850
he's bearing his soul.
# give me more cash #
463
00:20:50,884 --> 00:20:53,668
- Stop talking.
- It's a character piece ...
464
00:20:53,703 --> 00:20:55,837
the story of a young
man whose journey ...
465
00:20:55,871 --> 00:20:58,006
Pete, stop.
I didn't talk during "Lincoln."
466
00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:01,342
Hey, where did that guy's pants go?
467
00:21:01,376 --> 00:21:03,277
Where's the remote?!
Where's the remote?!
468
00:21:03,312 --> 00:21:04,878
Um, Bert, um...
469
00:21:04,937 --> 00:21:07,348
that guy is a liar, so
his pants are on fire.
470
00:21:07,382 --> 00:21:10,718
- Is that why the fireman's there?
- Yes. Exactly.
471
00:21:10,752 --> 00:21:14,255
Oh, here it is. Wrong remote.
472
00:21:14,289 --> 00:21:17,257
Hey, Kate, look. I'm shaking
my butt like that cowboy.
473
00:21:17,291 --> 00:21:21,628
- Hey, cowboy! Time for bed!
- Oh, Pete, I found it.
474
00:21:21,662 --> 00:21:23,662
[music continues]
475
00:21:30,803 --> 00:21:32,738
give me more cash
476
00:21:32,905 --> 00:21:35,928
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ addic7ed.com ~
477
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:39,139
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478
00:21:39,189 --> 00:21:43,739
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