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1
00:02:58,900 --> 00:03:00,610
You derelicts know what time it is?
2
00:03:00,860 --> 00:03:01,804
What?
3
00:03:01,904 --> 00:03:04,531
It is bug-betting time! All right?!
4
00:03:04,906 --> 00:03:07,742
First bug to get fried wins $2.
I got the green one.
5
00:03:07,909 --> 00:03:09,244
$2 on the June bug.
6
00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:18,253
You must actually let go of the
money in order for it to be a bet.
7
00:03:18,420 --> 00:03:21,881
Round and round she goes,
where she stops... Number 2!
8
00:03:32,058 --> 00:03:34,519
Any of you shitheads ever get bored?
9
00:03:35,604 --> 00:03:37,063
You ever get bored?
10
00:03:38,607 --> 00:03:40,400
'Cause I got a riddle.
11
00:03:42,110 --> 00:03:45,238
Takes about 2 ounces of
brains to figure it out.
12
00:03:45,614 --> 00:03:48,575
Anybody think they got a
brain with 2 ounces of brain?
13
00:03:48,742 --> 00:03:50,785
There's a rumor Earl does.
14
00:03:52,078 --> 00:03:56,082
For chrissakes, boys, come on, a little
self-confidence from the gallery.
15
00:03:56,249 --> 00:03:57,918
This ain't long division.
16
00:03:58,084 --> 00:04:00,629
- How much we got to lose?
- Want to liven things up?
17
00:04:00,795 --> 00:04:02,589
That's a hell of an idea!
18
00:04:03,465 --> 00:04:06,927
Everyone puts in 20 bucks.
Pot goes to whoever solves the riddle.
19
00:04:07,093 --> 00:04:08,637
You'll get the riddle.
20
00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:12,935
I'm the one asking the riddle.
21
00:04:13,102 --> 00:04:15,897
I already know the answer.
I don't get a guess.
22
00:04:17,065 --> 00:04:20,109
Although we could say if I get
to 500 bounces on the wedge...
23
00:04:20,777 --> 00:04:23,446
...and no one gets the
riddle, I get the pot.
24
00:04:24,113 --> 00:04:26,908
Now, I know you're thinking
it's an impossible riddle.
25
00:04:27,075 --> 00:04:28,618
It's not. It's easy.
26
00:04:28,785 --> 00:04:31,454
And if somehow, by the
grace of fluke luck...
27
00:04:31,621 --> 00:04:35,750
...I win and y'all don't agree that
it was an easy riddle, then...
28
00:04:36,417 --> 00:04:37,960
...I'll refund your money.
29
00:04:41,297 --> 00:04:42,282
I'm in!
30
00:04:42,382 --> 00:04:43,591
Money in the bank.
31
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:44,765
I'll hold it.
32
00:04:44,865 --> 00:04:45,739
Give it.
33
00:04:45,839 --> 00:04:48,763
A man's driving down
the road with his son.
34
00:04:48,930 --> 00:04:50,139
He gets in a crash.
35
00:04:50,431 --> 00:04:51,474
Two ambulances come...
36
00:04:51,641 --> 00:04:54,477
...and they take the man and
his son to different hospitals.
37
00:04:55,436 --> 00:04:56,813
Different hospitals.
38
00:04:57,271 --> 00:05:00,316
Son goes into the operating
room, all right?
39
00:05:00,650 --> 00:05:02,819
Doctor looks at him, says:
40
00:05:03,486 --> 00:05:05,613
"I can't operate on this boy.
41
00:05:05,947 --> 00:05:07,156
He's my son."
42
00:05:07,323 --> 00:05:09,659
Now, how is that possible?
43
00:05:10,284 --> 00:05:12,286
How is that possible?
44
00:05:23,464 --> 00:05:24,841
Clock's ticking.
45
00:05:25,007 --> 00:05:26,509
Father's at the other hospital?
46
00:05:26,676 --> 00:05:28,010
He didn't sneak over?
47
00:05:28,177 --> 00:05:29,679
No one beamed him aboard.
48
00:05:29,971 --> 00:05:34,183
All right, what if the father
married the son's daughter?
49
00:05:34,350 --> 00:05:35,685
This is a family riddle.
50
00:05:36,185 --> 00:05:37,353
Think clean thoughts.
51
00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:38,855
Give us a hint.
52
00:05:39,022 --> 00:05:40,481
You want a hint?
53
00:05:41,315 --> 00:05:43,026
The doctor's a woman.
54
00:05:45,486 --> 00:05:47,321
The doctor's a woman.
55
00:05:49,198 --> 00:05:51,492
The doctor's the son's mother.
56
00:05:51,826 --> 00:05:55,830
Feminists pose the riddle to
reveal sexual stereotypes.
57
00:05:55,997 --> 00:05:58,332
I take it you're a feminist.
58
00:06:00,334 --> 00:06:04,005
I've been called many things,
but never been saddled with that.
59
00:06:04,172 --> 00:06:05,840
You might try being saddled.
60
00:06:06,049 --> 00:06:08,009
Smell of leather, a whip's sting.
61
00:06:09,010 --> 00:06:11,721
I'm just a humble golf pro.
Could I help you?
62
00:06:11,888 --> 00:06:13,389
You're Roy McAvoy?
63
00:06:15,350 --> 00:06:17,810
I pictured something different.
64
00:06:18,519 --> 00:06:19,896
I have a 7:00 lesson.
65
00:06:20,229 --> 00:06:21,689
I thought I had a Dr. Griswold.
66
00:06:25,193 --> 00:06:26,527
That's me.
67
00:06:36,746 --> 00:06:40,208
First thing you must learn is
this game ain't about hitting...
68
00:06:40,375 --> 00:06:41,709
...a ball in a hole.
69
00:06:41,876 --> 00:06:45,713
It's about inner demons,
self-doubt, human frailty...
70
00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:47,423
...and overcoming that crap.
71
00:06:47,590 --> 00:06:50,259
What kind of doctor
did you say you were?
72
00:06:50,426 --> 00:06:51,427
Psychologist.
73
00:06:51,928 --> 00:06:56,224
I'm a neo-Jungian, post-modern
Freudian, holistic secularist.
74
00:06:58,226 --> 00:06:59,226
Okay.
75
00:07:00,061 --> 00:07:02,438
Inner demons and human
frailty is my life's work.
76
00:07:02,605 --> 00:07:05,441
I used to practice in El Paso,
but I moved here now.
77
00:07:05,775 --> 00:07:07,735
What is all this stuff?
78
00:07:07,902 --> 00:07:09,612
I got it from the Golf Channel.
79
00:07:09,779 --> 00:07:12,407
Well, it's a waste of money.
80
00:07:12,782 --> 00:07:17,078
I'm sure there are some
excesses and repetitions here,
81
00:07:17,245 --> 00:07:19,580
but I believe in gathering knowledge.
82
00:07:19,747 --> 00:07:22,750
There must be some truth to the
golf swing illustrated here...
83
00:07:22,917 --> 00:07:26,087
I thought you would kind of
help me sort through it.
84
00:07:26,254 --> 00:07:28,464
I have dozens of golf videotapes.
85
00:07:28,631 --> 00:07:29,966
I bet she has a golf watch.
86
00:07:30,299 --> 00:07:31,426
Got a golf watch?
87
00:07:31,968 --> 00:07:33,928
I think I got a good one.
88
00:07:34,262 --> 00:07:35,430
Right there.
89
00:07:35,805 --> 00:07:37,265
Take it off.
90
00:07:37,473 --> 00:07:38,357
Off?
91
00:07:38,457 --> 00:07:40,643
All of it, right now. All of it.
92
00:07:40,810 --> 00:07:43,146
You're a smart woman, for chrissakes.
93
00:07:44,814 --> 00:07:47,275
Don't you know the work of
hustlers when you see it?
94
00:07:47,483 --> 00:07:48,776
Well, no.
95
00:07:50,111 --> 00:07:51,320
I mean...
96
00:07:52,155 --> 00:07:54,949
...I can always tell when
someone's lying to himself.
97
00:07:55,116 --> 00:07:58,286
But I'm susceptible and frequently
wrong when a person lies to me.
98
00:07:58,453 --> 00:08:00,913
This stuff cost me over $200.
99
00:08:01,122 --> 00:08:03,291
It's $200 of shit.
100
00:08:04,500 --> 00:08:06,627
Well, that's just great.
101
00:08:06,794 --> 00:08:09,672
Let's do this the old-fashioned way.
Just swing.
102
00:08:10,465 --> 00:08:11,632
All right.
103
00:08:20,183 --> 00:08:21,184
Come up.
104
00:08:24,145 --> 00:08:25,355
Excuse me.
105
00:08:30,193 --> 00:08:31,193
Fuck.
106
00:08:33,654 --> 00:08:35,490
You talk like a golfer.
107
00:08:35,656 --> 00:08:38,201
That's a pretty girl to
have such an ugly swing.
108
00:08:39,827 --> 00:08:40,995
Oh, God!
109
00:08:41,162 --> 00:08:42,663
Oh, that hurt.
110
00:08:42,830 --> 00:08:43,830
Shit!
111
00:08:45,708 --> 00:08:47,168
"Fuck." "Shit."
112
00:08:47,335 --> 00:08:49,170
These are technical golf terms.
113
00:08:49,337 --> 00:08:51,339
You're using them on your first lesson.
114
00:08:51,881 --> 00:08:53,341
This is promising.
115
00:08:53,508 --> 00:08:54,508
Great.
116
00:08:54,717 --> 00:08:57,553
Wise-ass. Show me. Just go ahead.
117
00:09:11,734 --> 00:09:13,194
Something like that.
118
00:09:14,070 --> 00:09:15,571
That's impressive.
119
00:09:15,863 --> 00:09:18,199
I tend to process things verbally...
120
00:09:18,366 --> 00:09:21,202
...so can you break down
into words how you did that?
121
00:09:26,749 --> 00:09:29,711
"What Is The Golf Swing,"
by Roy McAvoy?
122
00:09:31,546 --> 00:09:33,923
I think of the golf swing as a poem.
123
00:09:34,090 --> 00:09:36,217
He's doing that poetry thing again.
124
00:09:36,384 --> 00:09:39,595
The opening phrase of this
poem will always be the grip.
125
00:09:39,887 --> 00:09:43,766
The hands unite to form a single
unit by the simple overlap of the...
126
00:09:44,934 --> 00:09:46,060
...little finger.
127
00:09:46,227 --> 00:09:47,212
Right.
128
00:09:47,312 --> 00:09:49,397
Lowly and slowly...
129
00:09:49,564 --> 00:09:53,234
...the club head is led back, pulled
into position not by the hands,
130
00:09:53,401 --> 00:09:55,570
...but the body, which turns
away from the target,
131
00:09:55,737 --> 00:09:58,614
...shifting weight to the right side
without shifting balance.
132
00:09:58,781 --> 00:10:03,077
Tempo is all, perfection unattainable,
as at the top of the swing...
133
00:10:03,244 --> 00:10:06,122
...there's a hesitation,
a little nod to the gods.
134
00:10:06,956 --> 00:10:09,083
A nod to the gods?
135
00:10:09,584 --> 00:10:12,295
To the gods that he is fallible.
136
00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:14,797
That perfection is unattainable.
137
00:10:14,964 --> 00:10:18,926
Weight shifts to the left pulled
by the powers in the earth...
138
00:10:19,093 --> 00:10:21,262
...it's alive, this swing,
and a sculpture...
139
00:10:21,429 --> 00:10:23,765
...and down through contact...
140
00:10:23,931 --> 00:10:26,100
...striking the ball crisply...
141
00:10:26,309 --> 00:10:27,602
...with character.
142
00:10:27,769 --> 00:10:31,606
A tuning fork goes off in
your heart, your balls...
143
00:10:32,482 --> 00:10:35,610
...such a pure feeling is
the well-struck golf shot.
144
00:10:36,486 --> 00:10:38,488
Then the follow-through to finish...
145
00:10:38,654 --> 00:10:40,114
...always on line.
146
00:10:40,281 --> 00:10:42,992
The reverse-C of the Golden Bear...
147
00:10:43,618 --> 00:10:46,496
...the steelworkers' power and
the brawn of Carl Sandburg's...
148
00:10:46,829 --> 00:10:48,623
...Arnold Palmer!
149
00:10:49,624 --> 00:10:51,459
He's doing the
"Arnold Palmer" thing.
150
00:10:52,293 --> 00:10:54,170
And the unfinished symphony of...
151
00:10:54,504 --> 00:10:56,297
...Roy McAvoy.
152
00:10:58,132 --> 00:10:59,842
What's unfinished?
153
00:11:00,968 --> 00:11:04,806
I have a short follow-through.
It has an unfinished look.
154
00:11:05,515 --> 00:11:06,515
Why?
155
00:11:07,975 --> 00:11:12,146
Some say it's the easiest way to
play in the winds of west Texas...
156
00:11:12,313 --> 00:11:16,359
...some say it's because I never
finished anything in my life.
157
00:11:17,151 --> 00:11:19,612
You can decide. But the point is...
158
00:11:19,862 --> 00:11:22,156
...every finishing position is unique.
159
00:11:24,659 --> 00:11:26,536
That's what the golf swing's about.
160
00:11:27,870 --> 00:11:30,832
It's about gaining control
of your life and...
161
00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:33,167
...letting go at the same time.
162
00:11:35,545 --> 00:11:36,838
Jeez Louise.
163
00:11:37,004 --> 00:11:40,007
There's only one other acceptable
theory about how to hit the ball.
164
00:11:40,174 --> 00:11:42,719
Oh, boy, well, I'm afraid to ask.
165
00:11:42,885 --> 00:11:44,887
What's the other theory?
166
00:11:45,054 --> 00:11:47,056
Grip it and rip it.
167
00:11:49,726 --> 00:11:51,728
Well, you know...
168
00:11:52,395 --> 00:11:55,732
...while I do appreciate your
poetic sensibility, Mr. McAvoy...
169
00:11:55,898 --> 00:11:57,734
Call me Roy, Molly.
170
00:11:57,900 --> 00:12:02,572
Call me Dr. Griswold, Roy. I think I'm
more of the grip it and rip it school.
171
00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:05,158
Then let's tee it up.
172
00:12:05,533 --> 00:12:06,909
All right, waggle.
173
00:12:08,244 --> 00:12:09,370
Waggle.
174
00:12:10,872 --> 00:12:11,872
No, look.
175
00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:13,583
He's got her waggling now.
176
00:12:14,042 --> 00:12:15,418
Waggle the...
177
00:12:15,585 --> 00:12:17,378
...club head, okay?
178
00:12:18,379 --> 00:12:20,715
It's a relaxing ritual we do.
179
00:12:21,549 --> 00:12:22,925
Just waggle it.
180
00:12:25,386 --> 00:12:27,597
Waggle it and let the big dog eat.
181
00:12:29,891 --> 00:12:30,933
What big dog?
182
00:12:31,225 --> 00:12:32,935
The driver, the #1-wood.
183
00:12:33,102 --> 00:12:34,896
- This is metal.
- All woods are.
184
00:12:35,063 --> 00:12:36,939
The driver's known as the big dog.
185
00:12:37,106 --> 00:12:40,109
I'm just saying let him
loose, let it rip...
186
00:12:40,276 --> 00:12:42,070
...let the big dog eat.
187
00:12:54,707 --> 00:12:57,451
You know, this is without a doubt
the stupidest, silliest...
188
00:12:57,551 --> 00:13:00,922
...most idiotic, grotesquely
masquerading game ever invented.
189
00:13:01,089 --> 00:13:03,424
Yes, that's why I love it.
190
00:13:03,591 --> 00:13:05,927
If you hit one good shot...
191
00:13:06,094 --> 00:13:08,805
...and that tuning fork
rings in your loins...
192
00:13:10,306 --> 00:13:11,766
...and you can't wait...
193
00:13:11,933 --> 00:13:12,933
...to get back.
194
00:13:13,267 --> 00:13:14,644
Try it again.
195
00:13:26,823 --> 00:13:28,991
The big dog just ate something.
196
00:13:30,785 --> 00:13:33,663
Did that tuning fork ring in your loins?
197
00:13:33,996 --> 00:13:36,332
Well, I wouldn't go that far.
198
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:40,336
I always say quit on a good shot.
199
00:13:40,503 --> 00:13:42,505
We'll call that lesson #1?
200
00:13:43,297 --> 00:13:44,297
Okay.
201
00:13:45,007 --> 00:13:46,175
And...
202
00:13:47,135 --> 00:13:48,803
...if you wouldn't mind...
203
00:13:48,970 --> 00:13:50,680
...paying me in cash?
204
00:13:51,014 --> 00:13:54,976
There's a little situation
I'm dealing with the IRS.
205
00:13:55,143 --> 00:13:59,522
I got to bob and weave around the
facts of life, if you know what I mean.
206
00:14:00,523 --> 00:14:02,316
Can I ask you a question?
207
00:14:02,984 --> 00:14:06,362
If you're such a legendary
golfer, as everyone says...
208
00:14:06,529 --> 00:14:09,490
...then why are you, at your age,
out here in the sticks...
209
00:14:09,657 --> 00:14:12,660
...operating a barely-solvent
business, ducking the IRS...
210
00:14:12,827 --> 00:14:17,040
...collecting a few dollars for beer
when you're capable of much more?
211
00:14:21,502 --> 00:14:23,880
Perhaps I'm chock-full of inner demons.
212
00:14:25,381 --> 00:14:26,381
No.
213
00:14:26,841 --> 00:14:28,718
You're chock-full of bullshit.
214
00:14:29,677 --> 00:14:30,845
Anyway...
215
00:14:31,012 --> 00:14:32,555
...same time next week?
216
00:14:38,061 --> 00:14:41,230
What'd you mean I should
try being saddled sometime?
217
00:14:43,191 --> 00:14:46,361
Were you being literal or
was that some Freudian deal?
218
00:14:47,070 --> 00:14:48,237
Molly?
219
00:14:48,404 --> 00:14:49,379
Doctor?
220
00:14:49,479 --> 00:14:51,240
What kind of saddle?
221
00:15:17,100 --> 00:15:20,561
David Simms. What the
hell are you doing here?
222
00:15:20,770 --> 00:15:22,355
Hey, there, Romeo.
223
00:15:22,980 --> 00:15:24,148
Been a while.
224
00:15:25,608 --> 00:15:27,068
Tin Cup around?
225
00:15:27,443 --> 00:15:30,571
No, he's in Houston on business.
226
00:15:30,780 --> 00:15:31,780
You know.
227
00:15:32,281 --> 00:15:35,243
I thought you were supposed to
be out on the pro golf tour.
228
00:15:37,954 --> 00:15:42,667
You tell Tin Cup that I'm in town for
my big charity Best Ball Tournament.
229
00:15:43,626 --> 00:15:45,378
I got a spot for him.
230
00:15:45,503 --> 00:15:47,588
If he ever gets back from...
231
00:15:48,464 --> 00:15:50,064
Houston.
232
00:15:50,299 --> 00:15:51,926
Yeah, wherever.
233
00:15:52,385 --> 00:15:53,594
I thought you hated him.
234
00:15:53,803 --> 00:15:56,597
Hell, I haven't even thought
about him in a dozen years.
235
00:15:59,308 --> 00:16:02,270
Not since the good old days at
the University of Houston...
236
00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:05,023
...where we won all
them titles together.
237
00:16:05,982 --> 00:16:07,400
God almighty.
238
00:16:07,692 --> 00:16:10,945
He says he carried you on
his back all them years.
239
00:16:11,154 --> 00:16:14,532
I didn't have much craft
back then, just a little...
240
00:16:14,699 --> 00:16:16,409
...native ability.
241
00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:18,953
Now, old Roy...
242
00:16:19,328 --> 00:16:21,456
...he's a hell of a ball-striker.
243
00:16:21,706 --> 00:16:22,790
What do you want?
244
00:16:24,709 --> 00:16:27,545
- I want to win my own tournament.
- I bet you do.
245
00:16:28,004 --> 00:16:32,133
He can help me if we can behave
like grown-ups together.
246
00:16:33,343 --> 00:16:34,927
You never know.
247
00:16:37,805 --> 00:16:39,223
You tell him that.
248
00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:41,059
I'll be sure to tell him.
249
00:16:42,018 --> 00:16:43,811
What's the catch?
250
00:16:46,939 --> 00:16:48,358
Hello, Cup.
251
00:16:49,359 --> 00:16:51,152
There is no catch.
252
00:16:51,569 --> 00:16:53,237
I put together a tournament...
253
00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:55,948
...with an elite field of players...
254
00:16:56,074 --> 00:16:58,159
...and a half-million dollar purse.
255
00:16:58,576 --> 00:17:01,746
And, by God, I'm tired of seeing
the money head out of town.
256
00:17:01,954 --> 00:17:03,373
Make more birdies.
257
00:17:08,961 --> 00:17:10,880
That's where you come in.
258
00:17:11,089 --> 00:17:12,757
I need you on my team.
259
00:17:13,091 --> 00:17:15,677
Well, I repeat: What's the catch?
260
00:17:15,885 --> 00:17:19,180
We're playing Cottonwood,
where you once shot a 59.
261
00:17:19,389 --> 00:17:22,517
Where you can still
shoot a 65 in your sleep.
262
00:17:22,725 --> 00:17:27,271
You know every bump on the fairway
and every subtle break on every green.
263
00:17:27,772 --> 00:17:29,232
Hot tub, Roy?
264
00:17:31,401 --> 00:17:32,694
It's a spa.
265
00:17:35,071 --> 00:17:37,281
You and me at Cottonwood?
266
00:17:37,782 --> 00:17:39,492
Kind of like old times.
267
00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:44,471
Yeah.
268
00:17:44,571 --> 00:17:46,999
Well, put her there, partner!
269
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:50,920
These two homeboys will show the
world what golf in Texas is about!
270
00:17:51,796 --> 00:17:54,048
I'll be a birdie-making machine!
271
00:17:55,007 --> 00:17:57,719
Whoa, whoa, wait a minute there, Roy.
272
00:17:57,927 --> 00:18:01,723
I didn't mean I wanted you to play
with me. I want you to caddy.
273
00:18:01,931 --> 00:18:05,226
You know, read the greens,
club me, that kind of stuff.
274
00:18:13,026 --> 00:18:14,068
Caddy?
275
00:18:14,652 --> 00:18:16,237
Come on, Roy.
276
00:18:16,446 --> 00:18:19,532
I can't bring a guy in off the
street to play in my tournament.
277
00:18:21,659 --> 00:18:25,747
For chrissakes, guys, this
has become a big-time event.
278
00:18:26,122 --> 00:18:29,417
Hell, I got corporate sponsors
and 30 bucks a ticket.
279
00:18:29,625 --> 00:18:33,421
This guy off the street can
kick your ass at golf anytime.
280
00:18:33,629 --> 00:18:35,048
Like he did in Junior Golf.
281
00:18:35,173 --> 00:18:37,133
Like he did in... No, fuck it.
282
00:18:40,553 --> 00:18:42,055
I'll give you $100.
283
00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:44,766
And 5% of any earnings.
284
00:18:45,683 --> 00:18:47,435
Get out of here!
285
00:18:47,685 --> 00:18:51,356
Take your pinche color coordinated
sponsored chingada and...
286
00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:54,609
...and take a flying fuck on the...
No, I got it.
287
00:18:58,154 --> 00:18:59,781
I was just offering work.
288
00:18:59,989 --> 00:19:01,115
Thank you very much.
289
00:19:06,371 --> 00:19:07,872
I'll take the job.
290
00:19:08,831 --> 00:19:11,084
Yeah, we'll take the job.
291
00:19:41,823 --> 00:19:44,492
It might be more than
you got in your bag.
292
00:19:44,659 --> 00:19:46,119
I could make that.
293
00:19:49,497 --> 00:19:50,497
Shit.
294
00:19:53,668 --> 00:19:54,711
Is he on?
295
00:19:55,378 --> 00:19:56,546
He's on.
296
00:19:56,838 --> 00:19:58,840
Pretty good shape too.
297
00:19:59,590 --> 00:20:02,844
Tin Cup can do it. I seen
him do it lots of times.
298
00:20:03,553 --> 00:20:06,055
You have extra-large huevos.
299
00:20:22,905 --> 00:20:24,073
Son-of-a-bitch.
300
00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:25,908
I told you.
301
00:20:26,075 --> 00:20:30,371
I had to. Your caddy said he'd
get on the green from here.
302
00:20:32,415 --> 00:20:33,708
I could.
303
00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:41,090
I got to hand it to you, Roy.
304
00:20:41,424 --> 00:20:45,386
For 15 holes, you seemed
to grasp the concept here.
305
00:20:45,553 --> 00:20:49,223
I'm trying to win this tournament
and your job is to help me.
306
00:20:52,393 --> 00:20:53,393
7-iron.
307
00:20:53,561 --> 00:20:54,896
I'm going to lay up.
308
00:20:58,566 --> 00:21:00,943
You can make that shot. Hell, I can.
309
00:21:01,110 --> 00:21:02,110
Easy.
310
00:21:03,571 --> 00:21:08,076
I know I can make this damn shot,
but the smart play is to lay up.
311
00:21:09,243 --> 00:21:13,581
These people didn't pay 30 bucks to see
a tour star lay up on a short par 5.
312
00:21:13,790 --> 00:21:16,584
I'm sitting on a 2-shot
lead with 3 to go.
313
00:21:16,793 --> 00:21:19,253
Thanks to you, my
partner's in his pocket.
314
00:21:19,462 --> 00:21:20,838
Suddenly, par's a hell
of a number to me.
315
00:21:21,381 --> 00:21:23,800
13 years on the tour,
you're still a pussy.
316
00:21:23,966 --> 00:21:28,221
Goddamn it, David, just hit
the fucking 3! Hit it!
317
00:21:28,805 --> 00:21:31,015
13 years in the driving range.
318
00:21:31,224 --> 00:21:34,519
You still think this game is
about your testosterone count.
319
00:21:35,019 --> 00:21:36,229
Back up.
320
00:21:39,732 --> 00:21:42,026
230 to carry, and the tour stars...
321
00:21:42,235 --> 00:21:43,528
...lay it up.
322
00:21:54,747 --> 00:21:56,457
Simms, from the rough.
323
00:21:56,666 --> 00:21:58,042
That's a smart play.
324
00:22:05,675 --> 00:22:07,468
You in a hurry, or what?
325
00:22:07,677 --> 00:22:08,571
Why?
326
00:22:08,671 --> 00:22:11,639
I bet Mickelson and McCord your
caddy can knock it on from here.
327
00:22:13,391 --> 00:22:16,394
Come on, guys, we're trying
to win a tournament here.
328
00:22:16,561 --> 00:22:19,522
We are. But I got 5-1.
I think they're good odds.
329
00:22:19,689 --> 00:22:20,773
He can do it.
330
00:22:21,024 --> 00:22:23,317
Let him hit it, it's only an exhibition.
331
00:22:23,526 --> 00:22:24,526
Come on.
332
00:22:24,777 --> 00:22:26,404
You can do it. I got a ball.
333
00:22:26,696 --> 00:22:27,696
Right here.
334
00:22:28,031 --> 00:22:29,073
Come on.
335
00:22:29,282 --> 00:22:31,409
Balls versus brains.
336
00:22:32,201 --> 00:22:34,078
You hit that shot, keep walking.
337
00:22:34,287 --> 00:22:35,997
'Cause your ass is fired.
338
00:22:44,088 --> 00:22:46,549
How'll you do that in front of everyone?
339
00:22:47,091 --> 00:22:49,302
Especially when I knock it on the green.
340
00:22:49,427 --> 00:22:52,096
It looks like the caddy
wants to hit the shot.
341
00:22:52,805 --> 00:22:54,349
What's going on down there?
342
00:22:54,724 --> 00:22:55,850
Boys...
343
00:22:56,059 --> 00:22:58,311
...things have officially changed here.
344
00:22:58,436 --> 00:23:01,189
Forget the 2-shot lead.
Forget the 3 holes to go.
345
00:23:01,397 --> 00:23:03,191
You need a glove.
346
00:23:03,900 --> 00:23:05,026
It'll help.
347
00:23:05,234 --> 00:23:06,861
Some side action.
348
00:23:07,070 --> 00:23:11,449
And the $250,000 purse has
just gotten a little bigger.
349
00:23:12,408 --> 00:23:15,119
You don't think this guy
can pull this shot off?
350
00:23:15,328 --> 00:23:18,122
I'll tell you, I don't
think there's any chance.
351
00:23:18,331 --> 00:23:21,042
This impending disaster's
a driving range pro.
352
00:23:21,250 --> 00:23:24,379
His name is Roy McAvoy
and he's called Tin Cup.
353
00:23:24,587 --> 00:23:28,383
I'm told he was a pretty good college
player, then went on mini-tours.
354
00:23:28,841 --> 00:23:31,552
He'll have to have been a great
college player to pull this off.
355
00:23:31,761 --> 00:23:34,847
He's got 240 yards, he's a
got a television audience.
356
00:23:34,972 --> 00:23:37,350
And he hasn't hit a golf ball yet.
357
00:23:37,475 --> 00:23:39,435
We don't see this everyday.
358
00:23:39,602 --> 00:23:42,230
National television, no warm-up.
359
00:23:42,438 --> 00:23:44,065
I don't know who this guy is.
360
00:23:44,273 --> 00:23:48,736
If he gets it out of there, I'd be
surprised. A pro I'd give 10-1.
361
00:23:48,945 --> 00:23:50,405
Dollar bills.
362
00:23:54,158 --> 00:23:55,743
He's not that good!
363
00:23:57,161 --> 00:23:59,372
Do you believe this?
364
00:24:02,875 --> 00:24:04,502
What a caddy!
365
00:24:04,669 --> 00:24:07,004
- Great shot.
- Thanks for the glove.
366
00:24:09,382 --> 00:24:10,245
You.
367
00:24:10,345 --> 00:24:12,427
Yeah, you, come here. Come here.
368
00:24:13,636 --> 00:24:14,636
Can you carry that?
369
00:24:15,304 --> 00:24:16,389
Pick it up.
370
00:24:20,393 --> 00:24:21,519
Nice shot.
371
00:24:21,686 --> 00:24:23,521
Come here a second.
372
00:24:24,397 --> 00:24:26,691
Take a hike. The loop's over.
373
00:24:26,899 --> 00:24:27,899
What?
374
00:24:28,317 --> 00:24:29,944
You can't fire me.
375
00:24:32,155 --> 00:24:33,406
How can you?
376
00:24:33,531 --> 00:24:36,284
Hey, I just knocked it stiff from 250.
377
00:24:36,826 --> 00:24:38,453
He's always been a jerk.
378
00:24:38,828 --> 00:24:40,121
What about my money?
379
00:24:40,329 --> 00:24:42,957
You hit the shot that took
you out of the money.
380
00:24:43,166 --> 00:24:45,043
Welcome to life on the tour.
381
00:24:47,003 --> 00:24:49,797
The Sports Machine brings
you a bizarre incident...
382
00:24:50,006 --> 00:24:53,134
...at the charity golf event
with tour star David Simms.
383
00:24:53,426 --> 00:24:54,969
Let's go to west Texas...
384
00:24:55,178 --> 00:24:57,722
...where driving range
pro "Tin Cup" McAvoy...
385
00:24:57,930 --> 00:25:01,059
...serving as a caddy to
David Simms at the celebrity event...
386
00:25:01,225 --> 00:25:03,978
...grabbed the 3-wood
out of his own bag...
387
00:25:04,187 --> 00:25:08,149
...and drilled a 240-yard shot
over water to the 16th green...
388
00:25:08,441 --> 00:25:10,234
If I had to do it over...
389
00:25:11,235 --> 00:25:13,071
...I'd still hit that shot.
390
00:25:13,529 --> 00:25:14,822
I know.
391
00:25:15,740 --> 00:25:19,035
You'd bury yourself alive to
prove you could handle a shovel.
392
00:25:19,243 --> 00:25:21,496
You know why?
393
00:25:23,081 --> 00:25:25,541
It's the only way you
could beat Dave Simms.
394
00:25:25,708 --> 00:25:26,708
No.
395
00:25:27,085 --> 00:25:29,253
'Cause you get that look on your face.
396
00:25:29,462 --> 00:25:31,964
Because that shot was a defining moment.
397
00:25:32,090 --> 00:25:35,760
When a defining moment comes along,
you define the moment...
398
00:25:35,968 --> 00:25:37,970
...or the moment defines you.
399
00:25:38,471 --> 00:25:41,391
I did not shrink from the
challenge, I rose to it.
400
00:25:41,557 --> 00:25:45,687
1981, Fort Washington Golf Club,
Fresno, California, ring a bell?
401
00:25:46,270 --> 00:25:48,606
The final tour-qualifying round?
402
00:25:48,773 --> 00:25:50,775
I was playing to win.
403
00:25:51,609 --> 00:25:55,279
Tried to hit the same impossible
cut 3-wood into the wind.
404
00:25:55,613 --> 00:25:58,700
- I was playing to win.
- 5 in a row, out of bounds.
405
00:25:58,908 --> 00:26:00,535
You finally pulled it off...
406
00:26:00,743 --> 00:26:03,538
...and tapped it in for a
crowd-pleasing 13.
407
00:26:03,996 --> 00:26:06,207
A 12 would have got you on the tour.
408
00:26:06,416 --> 00:26:07,542
Now that...
409
00:26:07,750 --> 00:26:09,377
...was a defining moment.
410
00:26:09,627 --> 00:26:12,088
And the definition was "shit".
411
00:26:12,755 --> 00:26:15,299
Greatness courts failure, Romeo.
412
00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:18,136
You may be right, but you know what?
413
00:26:18,928 --> 00:26:21,389
Sometimes power is good enough to win.
414
00:26:29,564 --> 00:26:31,065
We owe her $12,000.
415
00:26:31,274 --> 00:26:33,151
No, I owe her $12,000.
416
00:26:33,317 --> 00:26:36,154
Fine, you owe her $12,000.
Like it makes a difference.
417
00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:37,530
It does.
418
00:26:37,655 --> 00:26:39,323
I only got one rule:
419
00:26:39,532 --> 00:26:42,452
Never bet money you don't
have on a dog race...
420
00:26:42,618 --> 00:26:45,955
...with an ex-girlfriend who is also
a stripper. You broke that rule.
421
00:26:46,122 --> 00:26:49,625
You need tell her something
nice to start off with.
422
00:26:49,834 --> 00:26:51,836
An ice-breaker. That's not hard.
423
00:26:52,045 --> 00:26:55,340
I'll say something. If it don't
come out right, you say it better.
424
00:26:55,548 --> 00:26:57,258
Doreen's looking for you.
425
00:26:57,467 --> 00:26:58,593
I'll bet.
426
00:27:05,183 --> 00:27:06,267
Tin Cup.
427
00:27:06,476 --> 00:27:08,603
Haven't seen you in 3 days.
428
00:27:08,811 --> 00:27:09,811
Been busy.
429
00:27:11,189 --> 00:27:12,190
Hi, sweetie.
430
00:27:12,357 --> 00:27:13,358
Hi, honey.
431
00:27:20,198 --> 00:27:22,158
That better be you, Roy.
432
00:27:22,325 --> 00:27:24,118
Just be nice.
433
00:27:29,332 --> 00:27:30,458
Doreen...
434
00:27:31,584 --> 00:27:34,796
...you're looking
particularly lovely tonight.
435
00:27:35,088 --> 00:27:37,382
It's nicer than the leopard suit.
436
00:27:37,590 --> 00:27:38,800
Cut the shit.
437
00:27:39,217 --> 00:27:41,094
You owe me $12,000.
438
00:27:41,219 --> 00:27:43,596
We're going to pay it, don't worry.
439
00:27:43,721 --> 00:27:45,306
I know you'll pay me.
440
00:27:45,515 --> 00:27:48,142
12 smackeroos. Where is it?
441
00:27:50,395 --> 00:27:52,480
- There.
- What is this?
442
00:27:53,231 --> 00:27:55,483
With equity and inventory it's worth...
443
00:27:56,109 --> 00:27:58,152
...12 grand, more or less.
444
00:27:58,361 --> 00:28:01,239
This is how you think you'll settle up?
445
00:28:01,406 --> 00:28:03,616
By giving me the driving range?
446
00:28:03,741 --> 00:28:08,246
Only on condition you don't sell
right away, and we keep our jobs.
447
00:28:08,413 --> 00:28:12,166
What in the world would I want
with your stupid driving range?
448
00:28:12,417 --> 00:28:13,626
Equity.
449
00:28:13,751 --> 00:28:14,752
Inventory.
450
00:28:14,919 --> 00:28:15,920
Cash flow.
451
00:28:16,129 --> 00:28:18,840
Plus an enhanced stature
in the community...
452
00:28:19,048 --> 00:28:23,136
...and a pre-paid membership
in Salome Chamber of Commerce.
453
00:28:23,928 --> 00:28:25,430
What are your labor costs?
454
00:28:26,222 --> 00:28:28,141
Everybody gets what they get.
455
00:28:31,269 --> 00:28:33,271
The tractor kid gets four.
456
00:28:34,063 --> 00:28:36,274
The tractor kid gets 5 bucks an hour.
457
00:28:37,442 --> 00:28:39,527
Give me, like, 6.
458
00:28:40,945 --> 00:28:43,156
And Romeo gets 10. Cash.
459
00:28:43,281 --> 00:28:44,741
What do you get?
460
00:28:46,284 --> 00:28:47,284
Me?
461
00:28:47,660 --> 00:28:50,288
To stand around and hit golf balls...
462
00:28:50,455 --> 00:28:53,541
...when you're not breaking for
beers or to gather the guys up...
463
00:28:53,750 --> 00:28:56,044
...to bet on which
crow'll fly off first.
464
00:28:57,170 --> 00:28:59,172
You mean my managerial salary?
465
00:28:59,297 --> 00:29:03,760
I'm referring to every nickel you take
from the till, every bag of nuts.
466
00:29:03,926 --> 00:29:06,179
That is what I'm referring to.
467
00:29:06,304 --> 00:29:08,306
He'll take the deal.
468
00:29:09,766 --> 00:29:11,184
What is the deal?
469
00:29:11,684 --> 00:29:15,396
Let's just say the driving
range is worth $10,000.
470
00:29:15,605 --> 00:29:17,565
You still owe me 2.
471
00:29:53,643 --> 00:29:55,269
She's been here a while.
472
00:29:56,979 --> 00:29:57,979
Am I early?
473
00:29:58,439 --> 00:30:03,152
Mr. McAvoy, I can appreciate that you
have a fairly laid-back lifestyle...
474
00:30:03,319 --> 00:30:04,946
...but I have hours to keep.
475
00:30:05,113 --> 00:30:08,825
All right. A former paramour
once ascribed my...
476
00:30:08,991 --> 00:30:12,995
...fluid sense of time to being
born under the sign of Pisces.
477
00:30:13,162 --> 00:30:16,332
Something about floating
through the universe.
478
00:30:16,499 --> 00:30:18,668
Oh, you amuse me, Roy.
479
00:30:19,001 --> 00:30:23,631
But I'm the only woman born after World
War II who thinks astrology's bullshit.
480
00:30:23,798 --> 00:30:25,842
Let's see if the big dog'll eat.
481
00:30:26,175 --> 00:30:27,301
Waggle.
482
00:30:28,636 --> 00:30:29,590
I'm waggling.
483
00:30:29,690 --> 00:30:30,847
Set up to the ball.
484
00:30:31,639 --> 00:30:32,639
I am.
485
00:30:36,436 --> 00:30:38,938
You're trying to wring the club's neck.
486
00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:40,857
Show a little warmth.
487
00:30:41,149 --> 00:30:42,859
A little compassion.
488
00:30:43,526 --> 00:30:45,653
Remember this game's about trust...
489
00:30:45,820 --> 00:30:46,863
...and touch...
490
00:30:47,655 --> 00:30:49,115
...and letting go.
491
00:30:49,323 --> 00:30:52,535
So while I subtly enhance
your technical prospects...
492
00:30:54,162 --> 00:30:57,206
...why don't you tell me
about your personal life.
493
00:30:57,373 --> 00:30:59,042
That's none of your business.
494
00:31:00,668 --> 00:31:02,378
Your boyfriend's a golfer.
495
00:31:02,545 --> 00:31:03,546
That's my bet.
496
00:31:03,713 --> 00:31:06,007
He's the reason you're learning.
497
00:31:06,507 --> 00:31:08,167
Hell, I probably even know him.
498
00:31:08,267 --> 00:31:09,802
Get your hands off her.
499
00:31:13,056 --> 00:31:14,223
Hi, honey.
500
00:31:15,016 --> 00:31:16,267
Hi, darling.
501
00:31:16,726 --> 00:31:19,937
He's taking her to Miami
for the fucking Doral!
502
00:31:20,313 --> 00:31:22,231
I can't compete with that!
503
00:31:22,398 --> 00:31:24,359
You are having a bad week.
504
00:31:24,567 --> 00:31:26,611
She must think I'm a nothing.
505
00:31:26,819 --> 00:31:31,366
Such a loser, a lousy driving
range pro, living in a Winnebago.
506
00:31:31,574 --> 00:31:33,326
She doesn't know you live here.
507
00:31:33,451 --> 00:31:36,079
She knows I'm not taking
her to no Doral...
508
00:31:36,245 --> 00:31:39,207
...for massages and mimosas all weekend.
509
00:31:40,958 --> 00:31:43,961
- I didn't leave it out.
- Well, I didn't.
510
00:31:46,130 --> 00:31:48,132
I must do something with my life.
511
00:31:48,341 --> 00:31:50,259
You just threw that in the spa.
512
00:31:50,426 --> 00:31:53,471
Must rise to a level worthy of
the women who think I'm a joke.
513
00:31:53,638 --> 00:31:56,599
You could go out and win the
U.S. Open. That'd impress her.
514
00:31:56,974 --> 00:31:57,974
What?
515
00:31:58,267 --> 00:31:59,267
Win the Open.
516
00:31:59,769 --> 00:32:02,063
She'll think, "You're wonderful, Roy."
517
00:32:03,981 --> 00:32:06,150
Romeo, that idea has promise.
518
00:32:06,359 --> 00:32:10,488
The U.S. Open? The biggest
golf tournament in the world?
519
00:32:10,655 --> 00:32:12,615
Not just the biggest...
520
00:32:12,949 --> 00:32:15,910
...the most democratic golf
tournament in the world.
521
00:32:16,119 --> 00:32:17,995
- What do you mean?
- It's open.
522
00:32:18,371 --> 00:32:19,371
So?
523
00:32:19,664 --> 00:32:22,625
Anyone with a 2 handicap or
better's got a shot at it.
524
00:32:22,792 --> 00:32:25,920
You just must get through a local
and sectional qualifier, then like...
525
00:32:26,129 --> 00:32:29,424
...Doral or Colonial or
AT&T, they can't keep you out.
526
00:32:29,882 --> 00:32:33,594
They can't ask you if you're
a garbage man or a...
527
00:32:33,803 --> 00:32:36,514
...driving range pro whose
checks are signed by a stripper.
528
00:32:37,015 --> 00:32:38,975
You qualify, you're in.
529
00:32:39,142 --> 00:32:40,435
You don't got the game.
530
00:32:40,643 --> 00:32:42,270
I got every shot in the book.
531
00:32:42,478 --> 00:32:44,272
I'm talking about the game.
532
00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:47,191
The mental game. La
cabeza, you don't got it.
533
00:32:47,650 --> 00:32:51,529
Since you're the authority,
teach me what I ain't...
534
00:32:51,904 --> 00:32:53,406
...and never will be.
535
00:32:53,531 --> 00:32:56,034
What for? You never listen to me.
536
00:32:56,701 --> 00:32:58,536
This time'll be different.
537
00:32:58,703 --> 00:32:59,954
- Right.
- I promise.
538
00:33:00,163 --> 00:33:04,292
You don't have the money to get
your golf clubs out of hock.
539
00:33:04,667 --> 00:33:05,793
That don't fit.
540
00:33:06,419 --> 00:33:08,212
Don't force it if it don't...
541
00:33:09,839 --> 00:33:12,050
Is that what those things were?
542
00:33:12,216 --> 00:33:13,426
Flowers.
543
00:33:14,510 --> 00:33:18,639
You're going to play me
for $400 with those?
544
00:33:19,015 --> 00:33:21,809
And I'll give you two strokes a side.
545
00:33:22,226 --> 00:33:24,312
You ain't got no 400 bucks.
546
00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:26,064
My car title's collateral.
547
00:33:27,065 --> 00:33:29,942
I ain't interested in
that piece of shit.
548
00:33:31,027 --> 00:33:33,946
That's 'cause you think
of it as transportation.
549
00:33:34,072 --> 00:33:35,948
Think of it as bragging rights.
550
00:33:36,199 --> 00:33:40,745
Think of sitting around the bar crowing
about the Cadillac you won from me.
551
00:33:42,038 --> 00:33:45,083
They'll forget all about the
Winnebago you lost to me.
552
00:33:49,003 --> 00:33:51,214
I'll call the INS on you, you midget.
553
00:33:51,381 --> 00:33:54,217
I'll be playing a pink lady today.
554
00:33:54,509 --> 00:33:57,345
That little pink fag ball
supposed to intimidate me?
555
00:33:58,179 --> 00:34:00,640
Not unless I knock it by you.
556
00:34:01,015 --> 00:34:02,558
Louisville Slugger, please.
557
00:34:11,359 --> 00:34:12,359
I believe you're away.
558
00:34:12,527 --> 00:34:14,237
Don't worry about it.
559
00:34:14,487 --> 00:34:16,989
I thought I caught it on the toe.
560
00:34:21,077 --> 00:34:24,080
You drive for show and you
putt for dough, big mouth.
561
00:34:24,247 --> 00:34:27,083
Did you hear that?
Boone was being profound.
562
00:34:27,250 --> 00:34:29,752
Stay out of the rough. I recommend...
563
00:34:30,086 --> 00:34:31,379
...the shovel.
564
00:34:31,546 --> 00:34:32,880
That's what I think.
565
00:34:39,429 --> 00:34:41,264
I want a legitimate swing.
566
00:34:41,431 --> 00:34:42,765
No scooping.
567
00:34:48,396 --> 00:34:49,772
I'll finish.
568
00:34:54,736 --> 00:34:56,612
Get the hell off my course.
569
00:34:56,946 --> 00:34:58,573
Need a receipt?
570
00:35:00,575 --> 00:35:03,411
You know what I think? She's
got you by the huevos.
571
00:35:03,578 --> 00:35:08,291
Your job is to teach me patience and
humility. Don't advise me on love-life.
572
00:35:08,458 --> 00:35:10,585
Not all my thinking
occurs below the belt.
573
00:35:10,835 --> 00:35:14,297
I stand for a few things besides
my next romantic interlude.
574
00:35:14,464 --> 00:35:18,968
You'll have no trouble telling her you
can't teach her until after the Open.
575
00:35:19,135 --> 00:35:22,472
That'd make an issue out of
something that's not an issue.
576
00:35:22,805 --> 00:35:24,098
Besides, I'm focused.
577
00:35:24,265 --> 00:35:25,265
I am!
578
00:35:25,433 --> 00:35:26,809
This is my quest!
579
00:35:26,976 --> 00:35:30,104
This is my stand for the
guys who've had their...
580
00:35:30,271 --> 00:35:33,232
...fill of soulless
robots like David Simms.
581
00:35:33,816 --> 00:35:35,818
He may be a soulless robot...
582
00:35:35,985 --> 00:35:40,490
...but he's a rich, happy soulless robot
with a beautiful doctor-lady girlfriend.
583
00:35:40,656 --> 00:35:43,993
How'll getting into the Open
change her opinion of you?
584
00:35:44,660 --> 00:35:47,497
It'll show her I'm not
who she thinks I am.
585
00:35:47,663 --> 00:35:50,124
You are who she thinks you are, man!
586
00:35:50,291 --> 00:35:54,128
No, I will not give you time
off to go win the Open.
587
00:35:54,295 --> 00:35:55,963
I don't care if it's your quest.
588
00:35:56,130 --> 00:35:57,674
How about my destiny?
589
00:35:57,840 --> 00:36:01,511
Or your destiny. Or any other term
you remember from Cliff Notes.
590
00:36:01,678 --> 00:36:03,638
That looks stupid.
591
00:36:03,805 --> 00:36:05,348
You get mean, then petty.
592
00:36:05,515 --> 00:36:09,477
If you had been just a little nicer
to me when we were an item...
593
00:36:09,644 --> 00:36:12,355
...then maybe I wouldn't
be such a nasty boss.
594
00:36:12,522 --> 00:36:15,149
I have a business to run.
Bye-bye.
595
00:36:15,316 --> 00:36:18,194
Becky, come here, sweetheart.
Right now, hurry up.
596
00:36:18,361 --> 00:36:22,490
Your natural thing is really sweet,
but we don't do natural here.
597
00:36:22,657 --> 00:36:26,035
We do big and bold, colorful
hair, lots of it. Look at me.
598
00:36:26,202 --> 00:36:27,829
That's what we do.
599
00:36:31,332 --> 00:36:34,669
If you're going to take that
tone then we'll talk later.
600
00:36:34,836 --> 00:36:39,549
I'm sorry, I have things to do.
I don't need to be treated like that.
601
00:36:39,716 --> 00:36:41,551
So, good-bye.
602
00:36:43,386 --> 00:36:47,015
It wouldn't kill you just once
to tell her she's beautiful...
603
00:36:47,181 --> 00:36:49,058
...or that she can dance...
604
00:36:49,225 --> 00:36:50,393
...or she's sexy.
605
00:36:50,560 --> 00:36:54,063
Here I am, ready to charge forth
in pursuit of my destiny...
606
00:36:54,230 --> 00:36:56,733
...and I can't get time
off work to do it.
607
00:36:57,859 --> 00:37:01,070
I'm no expert here, but
it seems to me that...
608
00:37:01,237 --> 00:37:03,740
...the pursuit of destiny
isn't something...
609
00:37:03,906 --> 00:37:06,701
...you need to get off
a $7 per hour job to do.
610
00:37:06,868 --> 00:37:08,911
I'm stuck, man. I'm buried.
611
00:37:09,078 --> 00:37:10,371
I need help.
612
00:37:10,538 --> 00:37:13,207
I need advice. I need counseling.
613
00:37:14,584 --> 00:37:15,752
I need a shrink.
614
00:37:16,044 --> 00:37:17,754
You don't know no shrinks.
615
00:37:18,546 --> 00:37:19,881
I know one.
616
00:37:21,549 --> 00:37:23,926
No, no, no, not the doctor-lady.
617
00:37:24,218 --> 00:37:25,386
Why not?
618
00:37:25,511 --> 00:37:29,515
You can't ask her advice about
the woman you're trying to hose.
619
00:37:30,058 --> 00:37:31,267
Why not?
620
00:38:49,804 --> 00:38:51,180
I didn't say shit!
621
00:38:54,517 --> 00:38:56,853
Get in the other room, please.
622
00:38:58,813 --> 00:39:01,524
Sue Ann, honey, it's okay. Okay.
623
00:39:01,691 --> 00:39:04,360
You're going to be fine.
Take a deep breath.
624
00:39:06,654 --> 00:39:08,614
She was crying when she came out.
625
00:39:08,823 --> 00:39:10,491
So maybe it's something you said...
626
00:39:10,658 --> 00:39:12,618
That's the patient exit room.
627
00:39:12,827 --> 00:39:17,040
I knew it was some kind of room.
There were no magazines.
628
00:39:17,206 --> 00:39:19,208
Why are you here?
629
00:39:20,710 --> 00:39:22,211
Therapy.
630
00:39:23,671 --> 00:39:26,049
You've come for therapy? Okay, look.
631
00:39:26,215 --> 00:39:30,511
You need to make an appointment
because I have a client in half an hour.
632
00:39:30,678 --> 00:39:32,847
That's fine, I'm not that fucked up.
633
00:39:33,348 --> 00:39:36,559
Why don't you just have
a seat right there.
634
00:39:36,726 --> 00:39:38,227
Right over there.
635
00:39:56,204 --> 00:39:58,081
So how do I do it?
636
00:39:59,082 --> 00:40:02,710
Therapy, I mean.
How do I start doing it?
637
00:40:04,754 --> 00:40:08,591
In your parlance, "Kick back
and let the big dog eat."
638
00:40:14,722 --> 00:40:18,768
Suppose there's a guy and he's
standing on the shore of a river...
639
00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:24,440
...and river's full of piranhas,
alligators, eddies, shit like that.
640
00:40:24,607 --> 00:40:27,568
And nobody'll even go
down there to dip a toe.
641
00:40:27,735 --> 00:40:32,615
And on the other side of the river's
a million bucks, on this side a boat.
642
00:40:34,951 --> 00:40:36,786
I guess my question is...
643
00:40:36,953 --> 00:40:40,581
...what would possess
a guy to swim for it?
644
00:40:40,748 --> 00:40:42,083
He's an idiot.
645
00:40:42,250 --> 00:40:44,293
No, see, he's a hell of a swimmer.
646
00:40:44,460 --> 00:40:48,589
His problem is more like why
does he always have to...
647
00:40:48,756 --> 00:40:50,299
...rise to the challenge?
648
00:40:50,466 --> 00:40:52,126
He's a juvenile idiot.
649
00:40:52,226 --> 00:40:54,137
You don't understand.
650
00:40:54,846 --> 00:40:57,974
We're talking about you
and your inner demons.
651
00:40:58,599 --> 00:41:00,885
That human frailty you blather about.
652
00:41:00,985 --> 00:41:03,938
Not some mytho-poetic
metaphor you come up with...
653
00:41:04,313 --> 00:41:07,108
...in a feeble and transparent
effort to do yourself credit.
654
00:41:07,650 --> 00:41:09,777
You're going to make me feel lousy?
655
00:41:10,236 --> 00:41:12,780
I want to feel better. What
kind of therapy is this?
656
00:41:13,156 --> 00:41:17,035
You don't have any inner demons.
You have inner crapola.
657
00:41:17,702 --> 00:41:19,195
Inner debris, garbage...
658
00:41:19,295 --> 00:41:21,781
...horseshit in staggering amounts.
659
00:41:21,881 --> 00:41:24,792
I'm not some just jerk
driving range pro...
660
00:41:24,959 --> 00:41:28,796
...who drinks too much booze,
eats too few vegetables, okay?
661
00:41:29,213 --> 00:41:30,423
Sit down.
662
00:41:30,548 --> 00:41:35,219
You're getting defensive, and I want
you to just tell me why you're here.
663
00:41:37,221 --> 00:41:38,431
A woman.
664
00:41:39,223 --> 00:41:40,433
A woman.
665
00:41:41,225 --> 00:41:42,977
Have you asked her out?
666
00:41:43,436 --> 00:41:45,646
Nah, she's seeing a guy.
667
00:41:45,855 --> 00:41:48,787
But he's a real horse's
ass, if you ask me.
668
00:41:48,887 --> 00:41:51,944
Maybe if you shared your heart
with this woman at dinner...
669
00:41:52,070 --> 00:41:54,447
...these issues would be in the open.
670
00:41:55,740 --> 00:41:57,075
I'm afraid she'll say no.
671
00:41:57,241 --> 00:42:01,996
So, your speeches about swimming
across shark-infested waters...
672
00:42:02,205 --> 00:42:05,083
...are about your golf game and
not about your personal life?
673
00:42:07,085 --> 00:42:08,060
Good, then...
674
00:42:08,160 --> 00:42:10,505
I didn't know we'd get
into my personal life.
675
00:42:10,713 --> 00:42:12,256
This is therapy, Roy.
676
00:42:12,465 --> 00:42:13,508
I know, but...
677
00:42:13,716 --> 00:42:15,677
...I didn't know it was that kind.
678
00:42:15,885 --> 00:42:19,347
Let's make this simple.
Please, sit down right here.
679
00:42:19,972 --> 00:42:24,852
Those risks you love to take on the golf
course you talk so poetically about.
680
00:42:25,395 --> 00:42:29,774
You need to apply those risks to
your personal life as passionately.
681
00:42:30,066 --> 00:42:32,026
I should just ask her out?
682
00:42:32,276 --> 00:42:35,738
And risk coming right over the
top, hooking it out of bounds?
683
00:42:35,905 --> 00:42:37,198
Absolutely, Roy.
684
00:42:37,407 --> 00:42:39,534
- That's good.
- No, I'm sorry.
685
00:42:39,742 --> 00:42:40,785
Look...
686
00:42:40,993 --> 00:42:45,540
...all you must do is walk up to
this woman, look her in the eye...
687
00:42:45,748 --> 00:42:46,748
Look at me.
688
00:42:47,291 --> 00:42:50,294
Look her in the eyes, that's right.
Let down your guard...
689
00:42:50,503 --> 00:42:54,716
...and don't try to be cool,
just be honest and take a risk.
690
00:42:54,924 --> 00:42:57,635
And then, whatever happens,
if you act from the heart...
691
00:42:57,802 --> 00:42:59,554
...you can't make a mistake.
692
00:43:16,821 --> 00:43:18,031
Dr. Griswold...
693
00:43:18,448 --> 00:43:19,448
Yes?
694
00:43:20,116 --> 00:43:22,035
I think I'm in love with you.
695
00:43:22,952 --> 00:43:24,487
From the moment I first saw you...
696
00:43:24,587 --> 00:43:28,416
...I knew I was through with
bar girls and strippers and...
697
00:43:28,624 --> 00:43:31,836
...when you first started talking
I was smitten with you...
698
00:43:32,045 --> 00:43:35,340
...and I'm smitten with you more
every day I think of you and...
699
00:43:35,548 --> 00:43:39,844
...the fact you know I'm full of crapola
makes you more attractive to me.
700
00:43:40,053 --> 00:43:42,597
Usually I can bullshit
people, but not you.
701
00:43:42,805 --> 00:43:45,683
And in addition, you
got great legs and...
702
00:43:46,142 --> 00:43:49,771
...most women I'm thinking about
how to get into their pants, with you...
703
00:43:51,689 --> 00:43:53,066
I'm just...
704
00:43:53,316 --> 00:43:55,568
...thinking about
getting into your heart.
705
00:43:57,570 --> 00:43:58,613
Stunned?
706
00:44:00,323 --> 00:44:01,267
So...
707
00:44:01,367 --> 00:44:04,735
...so what about dinner and
we can talk about us...
708
00:44:04,835 --> 00:44:05,816
...and if we have a future...
709
00:44:05,916 --> 00:44:08,122
...and how to drop that
horse's ass boyfriend of yours.
710
00:44:09,332 --> 00:44:10,625
Slow down.
711
00:44:10,833 --> 00:44:12,627
I'm staring eagle in the face.
712
00:44:12,835 --> 00:44:16,214
Just cut the golf talk, please.
Because this is a mistake.
713
00:44:16,381 --> 00:44:19,550
I'm acting from the heart,
how can that be a mistake?
714
00:44:19,717 --> 00:44:20,717
Right?
715
00:44:20,843 --> 00:44:22,220
Wrong, Roy.
716
00:44:22,387 --> 00:44:24,222
I mean, shit!
717
00:44:24,389 --> 00:44:26,391
I didn't know you meant me.
718
00:44:26,599 --> 00:44:28,393
Would your advice have been different?
719
00:44:36,693 --> 00:44:40,822
This session is over. I have
someone coming soon. Leave.
720
00:44:43,032 --> 00:44:44,992
I take it your answer is no.
721
00:44:45,368 --> 00:44:49,414
Our relationship is and will
remain strictly professional.
722
00:44:51,124 --> 00:44:52,250
That's it?
723
00:44:58,715 --> 00:45:02,760
I'm going to qualify for the U.S.
Open and kick your boyfriend's ass.
724
00:45:07,557 --> 00:45:11,019
Whatever you think of me, you
should know he hates old people...
725
00:45:11,227 --> 00:45:12,687
...children, dogs...
726
00:45:13,146 --> 00:45:16,524
...and that broad's crying
still in the exit room.
727
00:45:16,733 --> 00:45:18,526
You're still in the exit room.
728
00:45:29,162 --> 00:45:30,162
Hello?!
729
00:45:30,288 --> 00:45:32,040
Dr. Kasseldorf?
730
00:45:32,248 --> 00:45:33,374
You're there.
731
00:45:34,083 --> 00:45:38,254
You said to call if something
came up that confused me...
732
00:45:38,546 --> 00:45:42,342
...and shrinks need shrinks...
But, it happened. You said it would.
733
00:45:42,925 --> 00:45:46,387
A patient thinks he's
falling in love with me.
734
00:45:46,554 --> 00:45:49,515
He's not really a patient,
he's my golf pro, but...
735
00:45:49,766 --> 00:45:53,895
I know that under the circumstance I
should recommend another therapist.
736
00:45:54,103 --> 00:45:56,064
But there aren't any in Salome.
737
00:45:56,272 --> 00:46:00,234
He'd have to drive 100 miles
to Midland or Odessa.
738
00:46:00,443 --> 00:46:03,071
I'm not sure you could
count on help there.
739
00:46:03,279 --> 00:46:04,279
Me?
740
00:46:04,614 --> 00:46:07,200
No, my self-esteem is fine.
741
00:46:07,325 --> 00:46:08,826
My self-esteem is fine.
742
00:46:09,619 --> 00:46:11,746
He's a good-looking man.
743
00:46:12,121 --> 00:46:14,332
Green eyes. I don't know, I mean...
744
00:46:14,499 --> 00:46:16,209
That's not the point, is it?
745
00:46:16,334 --> 00:46:17,835
He's, you know...
746
00:46:18,002 --> 00:46:20,004
...he's kind of cute. He's cute.
747
00:46:21,714 --> 00:46:22,714
But...
748
00:47:49,719 --> 00:47:51,512
You got a beautiful swing.
749
00:47:52,430 --> 00:47:54,182
I'm a beautiful guy.
750
00:47:54,891 --> 00:47:57,518
Look, Roy, I came to apologize, okay?
751
00:47:57,727 --> 00:47:58,727
For what?
752
00:47:58,895 --> 00:48:00,605
You did what I said...
753
00:48:00,813 --> 00:48:03,941
...and I poured cold water
over your efforts. I didn't get it.
754
00:48:04,567 --> 00:48:06,944
I'm a terrible shrink, probably.
755
00:48:07,111 --> 00:48:09,364
Should've stayed in real estate.
756
00:48:09,572 --> 00:48:13,826
Actually, I should have never left
Ohio for that cowboy in Amarillo.
757
00:48:14,577 --> 00:48:16,371
Ever been to Amarillo?
758
00:48:16,621 --> 00:48:18,021
Cowboy?
759
00:48:18,331 --> 00:48:22,377
Yeah. It's not as romantic when
you're actually with one, trust me.
760
00:48:22,585 --> 00:48:25,380
So, the oil man in Dallas or Houston,
I don't know where he was from.
761
00:48:25,588 --> 00:48:27,340
Anyway, he looked great.
762
00:48:27,674 --> 00:48:31,928
After that, I went to the Gulf
and ended up in trailer sales.
763
00:48:32,470 --> 00:48:34,555
Then condos in Corpus Christi.
764
00:48:34,931 --> 00:48:39,644
The bottom, just, boom, fell right out
of the market so I needed a new gig.
765
00:48:39,977 --> 00:48:41,479
A new gig?
766
00:48:41,646 --> 00:48:43,231
Yeah, therapy.
767
00:48:43,439 --> 00:48:47,151
I took all the classes.
I'm legitimate. Legal.
768
00:48:47,360 --> 00:48:50,863
Certified. Fuck! I'm certifiable.
I'm really sorry.
769
00:48:50,988 --> 00:48:52,588
Oh, boy.
770
00:48:53,491 --> 00:48:55,243
Can I have a doughnut?
771
00:49:02,959 --> 00:49:03,959
Thanks.
772
00:49:06,629 --> 00:49:07,880
Okay, look...
773
00:49:08,006 --> 00:49:10,508
I am flattered you asked me out.
774
00:49:11,384 --> 00:49:13,761
I can't accept because
I'm involved with David.
775
00:49:13,970 --> 00:49:17,098
I haven't seen him treat old
people, children or dogs badly.
776
00:49:17,473 --> 00:49:18,891
I'm sorry.
777
00:49:19,017 --> 00:49:22,520
I got carried away with the
David thing. I should have...
778
00:49:22,812 --> 00:49:26,190
I just want to make a
proposal, all right?
779
00:49:27,316 --> 00:49:30,445
As long as you understand that
it's strictly professional...
780
00:49:30,653 --> 00:49:32,405
...we're not going out.
781
00:49:32,530 --> 00:49:33,531
Tee it up.
782
00:49:34,407 --> 00:49:37,618
I think I can help you with
the mental aspects of the game.
783
00:49:37,827 --> 00:49:41,456
Romeo is your swing doctor,
I'll be your head doctor.
784
00:49:41,706 --> 00:49:42,706
What?
785
00:49:43,166 --> 00:49:45,960
You just said yourself
you're a crumby shrink.
786
00:49:46,169 --> 00:49:47,962
I can improve, Roy.
787
00:49:48,171 --> 00:49:51,132
I don't have the money to
pay you! I'm broke!
788
00:49:51,341 --> 00:49:55,219
You don't need any money to pay me!
We'll trade services.
789
00:49:56,012 --> 00:49:59,932
I'll give you my services
for golf lessons and...
790
00:50:00,058 --> 00:50:02,643
...I can help you
through the qualifying.
791
00:50:03,853 --> 00:50:05,980
If you make it into the Open...
792
00:50:06,439 --> 00:50:09,150
I'm on my own, you'll be with David.
793
00:50:18,743 --> 00:50:20,078
I don't want this.
794
00:50:28,753 --> 00:50:32,840
Third in the group, playing out
of Salome, Texas: Roy McAvoy.
795
00:51:06,249 --> 00:51:08,376
Ben Hogan, now, who's he?
796
00:51:08,584 --> 00:51:12,797
I find him mildly attractive when he's
obnoxious and arrogant like this.
797
00:51:13,006 --> 00:51:14,132
Oh, good.
798
00:51:14,298 --> 00:51:15,883
That's his best side.
799
00:51:25,143 --> 00:51:26,519
They bugging you?
800
00:51:26,811 --> 00:51:30,898
Way I'm swinging today, nothing bugs
me except insufficient applause.
801
00:51:32,025 --> 00:51:33,568
Give me the lumber.
802
00:51:33,776 --> 00:51:36,070
I think you want to hit the 2-iron.
803
00:51:37,113 --> 00:51:38,906
I said I want the big dog.
804
00:51:39,532 --> 00:51:41,159
You got a tight par 5 here...
805
00:51:41,325 --> 00:51:44,579
...with out of bounds on the left.
The 2-iron seems best.
806
00:51:44,829 --> 00:51:47,749
I'm not going left or right
of those trees, okay?
807
00:51:47,957 --> 00:51:51,544
I'm going over those
trees, with a little draw.
808
00:51:53,046 --> 00:51:55,757
That way I get home in 2. That
way I'm putting for eagle.
809
00:51:56,799 --> 00:51:58,926
You don't need an eagle to qualify.
810
00:51:59,135 --> 00:52:00,845
Practice playing it safe.
811
00:52:01,054 --> 00:52:03,056
- No mistakes wins the Open.
- I want the course record.
812
00:52:03,181 --> 00:52:04,349
The lumber.
813
00:52:07,977 --> 00:52:09,854
You won't listen to me, will you?
814
00:52:10,688 --> 00:52:13,274
Even when I'm trying to help you, man.
815
00:52:14,484 --> 00:52:15,693
After all these years you
think I'm full of shit?
816
00:52:15,860 --> 00:52:17,945
I'll get penalized for slow play.
817
00:52:18,154 --> 00:52:19,572
Give me the driver.
818
00:52:19,697 --> 00:52:23,451
You're a head case. You always
have been, always will be.
819
00:52:23,659 --> 00:52:24,786
Let's ask her.
820
00:52:24,994 --> 00:52:26,204
Dr. Griswold.
821
00:52:29,499 --> 00:52:31,584
Should I hit the big dog or the 2?
822
00:52:32,001 --> 00:52:34,962
Soliciting shot selection
advice is a 2 stroke penalty.
823
00:52:36,089 --> 00:52:37,465
Trust your feelings.
824
00:52:37,674 --> 00:52:40,218
Now give me the driver and shut up.
825
00:52:43,680 --> 00:52:44,806
The driver?
826
00:52:45,014 --> 00:52:46,014
Fine.
827
00:52:46,599 --> 00:52:47,599
Here.
828
00:52:48,101 --> 00:52:50,103
Hit the driver, Tin Cup.
829
00:52:55,692 --> 00:52:58,236
I changed my mind. Give me the 3-wood.
830
00:52:59,112 --> 00:53:01,656
You can't throw that
dog leg with a 3-wood.
831
00:53:01,864 --> 00:53:03,116
You want to bet?
832
00:53:05,118 --> 00:53:06,995
Fine, take the 3-wood.
833
00:53:07,203 --> 00:53:10,248
Take it and show me
what a golf pro does.
834
00:53:16,212 --> 00:53:18,756
Guess I'm going with
the safe shot, boys.
835
00:53:21,050 --> 00:53:23,928
But, you know, sometimes I fan that 2.
836
00:53:26,139 --> 00:53:28,182
You better give me the 3.
837
00:53:28,516 --> 00:53:30,351
Is this normal behavior?
838
00:53:30,518 --> 00:53:34,022
The word normal and him don't
often collide in the same sentence.
839
00:53:36,441 --> 00:53:39,652
And sometimes I catch
that 3 a little thin too.
840
00:53:40,153 --> 00:53:42,280
- Don't do this.
- I've hit flies with the 4.
841
00:53:43,531 --> 00:53:45,158
Hit the damn ball.
842
00:53:45,283 --> 00:53:47,160
I've hooked my 5.
843
00:53:47,785 --> 00:53:49,287
I've shanked the 6.
844
00:53:49,454 --> 00:53:51,956
Sculled the 8. Fatted the 9.
845
00:53:52,165 --> 00:53:53,207
Chili-dipped the wedge.
846
00:53:54,083 --> 00:53:55,710
And I've bladed the sand.
847
00:53:56,753 --> 00:53:58,153
Putter?
848
00:53:58,921 --> 00:54:01,549
There is Mr. 3-Wiggle, isn't there?
849
00:54:06,471 --> 00:54:08,473
But then there's the 7-iron.
850
00:54:09,265 --> 00:54:11,684
I never miss with the 7-iron.
851
00:54:16,189 --> 00:54:18,816
It's the only truly safe club in my bag.
852
00:54:20,985 --> 00:54:23,571
The bag's lighter. You happy?
853
00:54:23,946 --> 00:54:25,698
No, I'm not happy, man.
854
00:54:26,282 --> 00:54:27,742
I'm tired!
855
00:54:29,118 --> 00:54:33,498
My life's too short to watch you blow
up all... I've done it too many times.
856
00:54:34,791 --> 00:54:35,791
Quitting?
857
00:54:36,959 --> 00:54:38,559
Goddamn!
858
00:54:39,504 --> 00:54:42,006
First sign of adversity, you quit.
859
00:54:42,340 --> 00:54:46,010
God! First time you can
qualify for the Open!
860
00:54:46,219 --> 00:54:47,845
What's wrong with you?
861
00:54:49,972 --> 00:54:52,600
Who wants to bet I can't
par with a 7-iron?
862
00:54:56,020 --> 00:54:57,271
Anybody?
863
00:55:01,984 --> 00:55:03,444
Take the bet.
864
00:55:03,611 --> 00:55:05,738
Shut up and hit the ball!
865
00:55:28,052 --> 00:55:29,762
You the man, Cup.
866
00:56:14,098 --> 00:56:15,600
Thank you, boys.
867
00:56:21,856 --> 00:56:25,360
What do you think my best shot was?
The 7-iron on 12?
868
00:56:25,568 --> 00:56:28,321
- That was a good one.
- Or was it 7-iron on 14?
869
00:56:28,446 --> 00:56:29,822
That was better.
870
00:56:29,947 --> 00:56:34,452
What about that bunker shot on 18
which to my recollection was a 7-iron.
871
00:56:34,619 --> 00:56:35,953
Yes, it was!
872
00:56:36,120 --> 00:56:37,121
All good.
873
00:56:37,330 --> 00:56:38,330
You're the man.
874
00:56:38,873 --> 00:56:39,873
Hey, Doc!
875
00:56:41,959 --> 00:56:43,211
How'd I do?
876
00:56:43,711 --> 00:56:45,713
You failed miserably.
877
00:56:45,880 --> 00:56:47,548
What're you talking about?
878
00:56:47,715 --> 00:56:49,467
I qualified for the sectionals.
879
00:56:49,634 --> 00:56:50,630
You did.
880
00:56:50,730 --> 00:56:51,726
I did.
881
00:56:51,886 --> 00:56:53,054
With a 7-iron.
882
00:56:53,429 --> 00:56:54,472
Yes, siree.
883
00:56:54,639 --> 00:56:58,559
Look, your job isn't just
to qualify for the Open.
884
00:56:58,726 --> 00:57:00,561
It's to prepare for the Open.
885
00:57:00,728 --> 00:57:03,147
My job is to help you prepare.
886
00:57:03,856 --> 00:57:06,567
Now, you said trust my feelings.
I did.
887
00:57:07,151 --> 00:57:10,363
I didn't know you felt like
breaking all your clubs...
888
00:57:10,488 --> 00:57:12,573
...and getting in a contest
with your caddy.
889
00:57:12,740 --> 00:57:13,866
Who quit.
890
00:57:13,991 --> 00:57:15,410
He always quits.
891
00:57:17,120 --> 00:57:18,120
He ought to be here.
892
00:57:18,371 --> 00:57:19,371
To the quitter.
893
00:57:20,999 --> 00:57:22,083
The little quitter.
894
00:57:22,750 --> 00:57:23,750
Nonetheless.
895
00:57:23,876 --> 00:57:25,169
Nonetheless...
896
00:57:25,878 --> 00:57:28,923
...from the mental aspect,
which is my domain...
897
00:57:29,173 --> 00:57:31,009
...you've regressed.
898
00:57:31,509 --> 00:57:34,178
And are fumbling between
delusion and denial.
899
00:57:34,387 --> 00:57:36,264
Regression, delusion, denial.
900
00:57:36,472 --> 00:57:39,267
Why must you use all the
psychological language?
901
00:57:40,685 --> 00:57:42,103
Having a bad day?
902
00:57:44,022 --> 00:57:45,022
No.
903
00:57:45,148 --> 00:57:46,274
Hi, honey.
904
00:57:49,402 --> 00:57:50,403
Shot a 65.
905
00:57:52,196 --> 00:57:54,407
Parred the backside with a 7-iron.
906
00:57:55,158 --> 00:57:56,129
Why?
907
00:57:56,229 --> 00:57:59,120
Yeah, that's exactly right.
That's the question, "Why?"
908
00:57:59,329 --> 00:58:01,414
Because he broke his other clubs.
909
00:58:02,206 --> 00:58:03,458
Snapped them in two.
910
00:58:04,334 --> 00:58:06,210
- Jesus.
- Not all of them.
911
00:58:06,419 --> 00:58:07,962
Romeo broke two.
912
00:58:10,423 --> 00:58:12,133
I'm on your side here.
913
00:58:12,342 --> 00:58:13,968
We go way back.
914
00:58:14,177 --> 00:58:17,305
I hope you qualify for the Open.
But if you do...
915
00:58:17,513 --> 00:58:19,724
...you better play with control...
916
00:58:19,974 --> 00:58:21,976
...or you'll get slaughtered.
917
00:58:22,143 --> 00:58:25,563
Good players shoot an 82 in the Open.
918
00:58:26,064 --> 00:58:27,565
You see...
919
00:58:27,732 --> 00:58:30,151
...it means you just can't go for it.
920
00:58:30,568 --> 00:58:34,489
I swear to God, this guy is
not who you think he is.
921
00:58:34,697 --> 00:58:36,240
It's a known fact...
922
00:58:36,449 --> 00:58:39,327
...if a camera's not on him he treats
old people and kids like dirt.
923
00:58:39,535 --> 00:58:40,535
And dogs.
924
00:58:40,828 --> 00:58:42,028
Jesus.
925
00:58:42,372 --> 00:58:44,332
Yeah, don't forget dogs.
926
00:58:44,957 --> 00:58:48,252
Okay, guys. You know what?
We better go. Come on.
927
00:58:48,461 --> 00:58:49,754
I guess so.
928
00:58:51,547 --> 00:58:53,758
You ever shoot par with a 7-iron?
929
00:58:56,594 --> 00:58:58,346
Hell, Roy...
930
00:58:58,554 --> 00:59:00,765
...it never occurred to me to try.
931
00:59:02,016 --> 00:59:05,520
I bet you $1,000 against my car
that I can beat you any game.
932
00:59:07,855 --> 00:59:09,023
Any game...
933
00:59:09,190 --> 00:59:10,358
...any golf club.
934
00:59:11,567 --> 00:59:13,986
Come on, Roy, this is ridiculous.
935
00:59:14,112 --> 00:59:15,363
Chicken?
936
00:59:21,577 --> 00:59:25,540
What, are you going to lay up
the way you did in the Masters?
937
00:59:35,008 --> 00:59:36,718
Any game, I name it?
938
00:59:37,218 --> 00:59:41,139
No, it's okay. I'm just going
to teach old Roy here a lesson.
939
00:59:41,514 --> 00:59:45,018
Why do men insist on
measuring their dicks?
940
00:59:49,605 --> 00:59:51,399
All right, let's measure.
941
00:59:52,775 --> 00:59:56,070
Roy! For God's sakes
I wasn't being literal!
942
00:59:56,529 --> 00:59:58,156
David, let's go.
943
00:59:58,322 --> 01:00:00,658
Wait. Molly, I got this one.
944
01:00:01,075 --> 01:00:05,163
We'll just call this Roy's mental
preparation for the U.S. Opening.
945
01:00:05,330 --> 01:00:09,334
Where the rough is deep, the greens
slick, and the nerves shattered.
946
01:00:09,834 --> 01:00:11,336
I'll take the bet.
947
01:00:16,674 --> 01:00:18,051
What's the game?
948
01:00:18,176 --> 01:00:20,178
Your 7-iron, Roy.
949
01:00:21,846 --> 01:00:23,431
One swing each.
950
01:00:23,806 --> 01:00:25,433
Whoever hits the longest.
951
01:00:26,809 --> 01:00:27,852
It's a lock.
952
01:00:28,061 --> 01:00:31,189
I hit the 7-iron like
John Daly hits the 3.
953
01:00:31,356 --> 01:00:33,066
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
954
01:00:38,488 --> 01:00:39,614
Here okay?
955
01:00:39,864 --> 01:00:40,864
Fine.
956
01:00:42,283 --> 01:00:44,786
You guys are really being childish.
957
01:00:44,952 --> 01:00:46,079
Leave it to me.
958
01:00:46,496 --> 01:00:48,122
I know what I'm doing.
959
01:00:48,665 --> 01:00:51,125
You know what? I'll
see you both in the bar.
960
01:00:51,292 --> 01:00:52,292
Bye.
961
01:00:56,881 --> 01:00:58,216
Dollar bills.
962
01:01:04,222 --> 01:01:07,308
Them signs are at
least 30 yards further.
963
01:01:07,475 --> 01:01:09,811
That ball must have gone 220.
964
01:01:09,977 --> 01:01:11,777
Nah, 227.
965
01:01:12,897 --> 01:01:14,607
I toed it, but it'll do!
966
01:01:14,732 --> 01:01:16,984
- That's 227.
- Take your time.
967
01:01:17,151 --> 01:01:19,320
Limber up, fine with me.
968
01:01:20,905 --> 01:01:22,323
That's all right.
969
01:01:22,490 --> 01:01:23,741
I don't need to.
970
01:01:24,909 --> 01:01:26,494
Take your jacket off.
971
01:01:27,412 --> 01:01:28,621
I'm fine.
972
01:01:28,746 --> 01:01:32,417
You'll have to muscle up to get
it out there, give it the old...
973
01:01:32,917 --> 01:01:34,502
...steroid jerk!
974
01:01:42,135 --> 01:01:43,928
What the hell is he doing?
975
01:02:05,658 --> 01:02:08,369
He hit it down the
fucking road, didn't he?
976
01:02:08,786 --> 01:02:10,455
It's still going.
977
01:02:20,923 --> 01:02:23,968
You the man, Roy. You the man.
978
01:02:25,053 --> 01:02:27,055
You are definitely the man.
979
01:02:28,806 --> 01:02:29,807
So long!
980
01:02:29,974 --> 01:02:32,477
And the man needs a ride home.
981
01:02:39,525 --> 01:02:41,361
I always liked that car.
982
01:02:59,379 --> 01:03:01,422
I wish Romeo were here.
983
01:03:01,589 --> 01:03:03,591
I'm not cut out for this shit.
984
01:03:03,800 --> 01:03:05,551
I'm an observer by nature.
985
01:03:05,885 --> 01:03:07,428
Earl, shut up.
986
01:03:07,595 --> 01:03:08,930
Give me the big dog.
987
01:03:09,430 --> 01:03:10,598
Big dog!
988
01:03:10,807 --> 01:03:13,059
I thought that was the big fucking dog.
989
01:03:44,841 --> 01:03:46,926
Here, let me carry that.
990
01:03:57,311 --> 01:03:59,272
- You all right?
- Aw, shit.
991
01:04:00,773 --> 01:04:02,275
Give me the bag.
992
01:04:02,442 --> 01:04:03,442
No.
993
01:04:04,027 --> 01:04:05,278
All right.
994
01:04:09,324 --> 01:04:10,616
Get him.
995
01:04:18,291 --> 01:04:21,127
Like a million others you
made in your life, Roy.
996
01:04:21,961 --> 01:04:23,838
Just see it going in.
997
01:04:25,048 --> 01:04:26,466
Just feel it.
998
01:04:27,467 --> 01:04:29,635
Right in the back of the jar.
999
01:04:55,328 --> 01:04:56,328
Lord
1000
01:04:58,456 --> 01:05:01,000
I can't afford to lose
1001
01:05:15,223 --> 01:05:17,183
Romes, you come back!
1002
01:05:18,685 --> 01:05:20,520
You should've been there.
1003
01:05:20,687 --> 01:05:23,356
I drained a 30-foot snake to qualify.
1004
01:05:23,523 --> 01:05:27,527
Earl gives me the straight read,
thing breaks half a dozen times.
1005
01:05:28,861 --> 01:05:31,531
I missed you, pods. I missed you.
1006
01:05:33,533 --> 01:05:36,035
Okay, don't talk. You're still my guy.
1007
01:05:38,913 --> 01:05:42,375
It's a little late to be pissed off.
We're in the Open.
1008
01:05:42,875 --> 01:05:44,252
You and me.
1009
01:05:46,754 --> 01:05:48,381
Fine, be like that.
1010
01:05:49,549 --> 01:05:50,883
Molly been around?
1011
01:05:51,592 --> 01:05:53,928
Neither her nor me or the god of golf...
1012
01:05:54,137 --> 01:05:56,931
...will keep you from
blowing up in the Open.
1013
01:05:57,140 --> 01:05:58,766
I made it this far.
1014
01:05:58,933 --> 01:06:03,396
Didn't I? Didn't I? All I must do is
hold it together for 72 more holes.
1015
01:06:03,771 --> 01:06:07,233
There's a lot of triple-bogies
waiting to grab your white ass.
1016
01:06:07,400 --> 01:06:10,111
You complaining again?
Is that what I hear?
1017
01:06:10,278 --> 01:06:11,612
Shut up.
1018
01:06:12,113 --> 01:06:15,366
You're back whining, pissing,
moaning. You're back.
1019
01:06:16,534 --> 01:06:17,577
You're my man.
1020
01:06:18,286 --> 01:06:21,039
What, you didn't fall in love
with Earl to be your caddy.
1021
01:06:22,040 --> 01:06:24,292
He's a heart attack waiting to happen.
1022
01:06:24,459 --> 01:06:26,711
Cost me 3 strokes a side.
1023
01:06:27,128 --> 01:06:29,881
Hell, I had to carry the
bag the last 4 holes.
1024
01:06:33,718 --> 01:06:34,719
Look...
1025
01:06:34,969 --> 01:06:37,055
...I love old Earl, but...
1026
01:06:37,221 --> 01:06:38,556
...I need you.
1027
01:06:39,974 --> 01:06:41,225
You don't love me?
1028
01:06:42,769 --> 01:06:46,481
Well, yeah, yeah, I love
you too, goddamn it.
1029
01:06:46,981 --> 01:06:48,608
As much as Earl?
1030
01:06:49,275 --> 01:06:50,777
I don't know!
1031
01:06:51,110 --> 01:06:53,780
When I was with Earl,
I was thinking of you.
1032
01:06:57,617 --> 01:06:59,619
Yes, as much as Earl.
1033
01:06:59,827 --> 01:07:01,287
More than Earl.
1034
01:07:02,789 --> 01:07:04,457
More than Earl.
1035
01:07:05,792 --> 01:07:07,001
Am I special?
1036
01:07:10,463 --> 01:07:12,632
If you remove the sexual overtones...
1037
01:07:12,799 --> 01:07:15,343
...and add a golf theme, then, Romeo...
1038
01:07:15,510 --> 01:07:17,345
...I am your Juliet.
1039
01:07:21,140 --> 01:07:22,475
In that case...
1040
01:07:22,850 --> 01:07:24,185
...Julieta...
1041
01:07:24,936 --> 01:07:26,604
...I am your caddy.
1042
01:07:35,822 --> 01:07:37,615
Nobody's heard from Molly?
1043
01:07:37,782 --> 01:07:39,283
You got it bad?
1044
01:07:39,701 --> 01:07:41,619
Something about that chick.
1045
01:07:47,208 --> 01:07:49,127
Little chili-dipper there.
1046
01:07:49,293 --> 01:07:52,130
Be sure to do that in the
Open, it'll impress them.
1047
01:08:01,806 --> 01:08:02,974
I'm watching.
1048
01:08:03,141 --> 01:08:04,183
That ain't a chili-dipper.
1049
01:08:04,392 --> 01:08:07,979
Looks like you got el hosel.
You know, the laterals.
1050
01:08:08,146 --> 01:08:09,397
The "S" word.
1051
01:08:09,564 --> 01:08:10,815
What's wrong?
1052
01:08:10,982 --> 01:08:13,735
I don't know. The shanks are
like a virus. They just show up.
1053
01:08:13,901 --> 01:08:15,570
Nobody can figure them out.
1054
01:08:25,496 --> 01:08:27,248
Something's terribly wrong!
1055
01:08:27,582 --> 01:08:29,417
Something's wrong.
1056
01:08:29,584 --> 01:08:31,002
It's okay.
1057
01:08:31,336 --> 01:08:32,336
Well?
1058
01:08:32,837 --> 01:08:34,255
What's your guess?
1059
01:08:34,422 --> 01:08:36,257
It must be the woman.
1060
01:08:36,424 --> 01:08:37,675
You said a virus.
1061
01:08:37,842 --> 01:08:40,178
A woman can have the same effect.
1062
01:08:41,512 --> 01:08:43,348
What do I do?
1063
01:08:46,434 --> 01:08:48,269
Just keep swinging.
1064
01:08:48,436 --> 01:08:50,021
You'll be fine.
1065
01:08:58,863 --> 01:09:00,782
Don't say a fucking word.
1066
01:09:07,872 --> 01:09:09,707
I'll be inside if you need me.
1067
01:09:21,135 --> 01:09:22,804
Just work it out.
1068
01:09:57,005 --> 01:09:58,205
Hello?
1069
01:09:58,840 --> 01:10:00,425
Is anybody home?
1070
01:10:07,682 --> 01:10:08,682
My God!
1071
01:10:13,855 --> 01:10:16,024
Therapist laughs at the patient?
1072
01:10:16,858 --> 01:10:18,276
Is that how it works?
1073
01:10:18,776 --> 01:10:19,819
Is it?
1074
01:10:20,611 --> 01:10:24,032
A man's laid bare before God,
he's the butt of the cosmic joke.
1075
01:10:24,198 --> 01:10:25,325
I'm sorry.
1076
01:10:25,533 --> 01:10:26,529
Really.
1077
01:10:26,629 --> 01:10:29,620
Some of this shit might
actually work, you know.
1078
01:10:30,204 --> 01:10:32,165
There's something to this hat.
1079
01:10:32,540 --> 01:10:34,792
The golf ball pendulum thing.
1080
01:10:35,793 --> 01:10:37,045
May be onto something.
1081
01:10:37,211 --> 01:10:39,172
Oh, Jesus, Roy.
1082
01:10:39,547 --> 01:10:44,302
Quoting yourself, "It is a paraphernalia
for lost and desperate souls."
1083
01:10:45,803 --> 01:10:49,307
A lost and desperate
soul stands before you.
1084
01:10:50,141 --> 01:10:54,645
I assume I have the confidentiality
of the doctor/client...
1085
01:10:55,063 --> 01:10:56,981
...privilege in regard to this outfit?
1086
01:10:57,148 --> 01:10:58,191
Of course.
1087
01:10:58,483 --> 01:10:59,817
What happened?
1088
01:11:02,820 --> 01:11:04,364
I got the shanks.
1089
01:11:04,572 --> 01:11:05,990
Are you taking penicillin?
1090
01:11:06,157 --> 01:11:08,326
There's a glitch in my swing.
1091
01:11:08,493 --> 01:11:10,328
That's Romeo's department.
1092
01:11:10,495 --> 01:11:12,497
He thinks it's your department.
1093
01:11:12,997 --> 01:11:14,332
Says it's a head thing.
1094
01:11:16,084 --> 01:11:20,046
I just came over to congratulate
you on the sectionals and...
1095
01:11:20,254 --> 01:11:22,215
...to return your car.
1096
01:11:22,423 --> 01:11:24,175
David just wanted to make a point.
1097
01:11:25,176 --> 01:11:26,719
You know what?
1098
01:11:26,928 --> 01:11:31,849
I suppose we could have a therapy
session right here and now.
1099
01:11:33,351 --> 01:11:35,103
I don't want therapy.
1100
01:11:36,938 --> 01:11:38,523
I want you.
1101
01:11:43,277 --> 01:11:44,737
I want you.
1102
01:11:45,947 --> 01:11:47,865
I must get some air.
1103
01:11:50,618 --> 01:11:51,744
Molly, wait.
1104
01:11:53,371 --> 01:11:54,622
Look at me.
1105
01:11:58,209 --> 01:12:01,212
Well, not at the moment,
but just listen to me.
1106
01:12:05,550 --> 01:12:07,301
You're with the wrong guy.
1107
01:12:08,052 --> 01:12:09,595
I'm the right guy.
1108
01:12:12,306 --> 01:12:15,268
Everyone says my face is
screwed up tight as a drum.
1109
01:12:15,476 --> 01:12:19,230
I know it's because I've
been crazy about you...
1110
01:12:19,397 --> 01:12:22,233
...from the moment you came
here wearing this stupid shit.
1111
01:12:23,234 --> 01:12:27,739
The whole thing's inspired me to get
here and caused me to get the shanks...
1112
01:12:27,905 --> 01:12:31,909
...which would humiliate me in front
of a billion people in a game...
1113
01:12:32,243 --> 01:12:34,245
...I used to play pretty good.
1114
01:12:35,663 --> 01:12:37,415
Such is life.
1115
01:12:40,668 --> 01:12:44,922
So dump that phony bastard you're with
and come to the Open in my corner.
1116
01:12:46,007 --> 01:12:47,007
Tell me...
1117
01:12:47,592 --> 01:12:49,844
...you're not just at least...
1118
01:12:50,428 --> 01:12:52,263
...moderately attracted to me.
1119
01:12:53,348 --> 01:12:55,475
You have moments, Roy.
1120
01:12:55,683 --> 01:12:59,771
You tell me which ones are my
moments and I'll duplicate them.
1121
01:13:00,188 --> 01:13:01,606
This is a moment.
1122
01:13:01,773 --> 01:13:02,773
Now?
1123
01:13:03,358 --> 01:13:06,986
I mean, just utterly exposed,
completely vulnerable...
1124
01:13:07,445 --> 01:13:09,197
...inner child trying to get out.
1125
01:13:09,364 --> 01:13:11,824
Yeah? My inner child needs a spanking?
1126
01:13:21,042 --> 01:13:22,960
I don't have a car.
1127
01:13:23,378 --> 01:13:24,796
Need a ride.
1128
01:13:41,354 --> 01:13:45,358
I know a little spot along the
river that's great to watch sunsets.
1129
01:13:45,566 --> 01:13:46,901
- I do.
- Watch the road.
1130
01:13:47,068 --> 01:13:50,738
- I know a spot that's great for sunsets.
- I bet you do.
1131
01:13:51,072 --> 01:13:52,657
Not tonight.
1132
01:13:54,158 --> 01:13:56,411
That means maybe some other night.
1133
01:13:56,577 --> 01:13:58,162
I didn't mean it like that.
1134
01:13:58,329 --> 01:14:01,666
Maybe consciously you didn't mean
it that way, but unconsciously...
1135
01:14:02,500 --> 01:14:05,003
Did you mean it unconsciously?
1136
01:14:06,004 --> 01:14:09,757
Unconsciously, I don't have a
clue what I'm talking about.
1137
01:14:10,591 --> 01:14:12,677
I feel we're making progress.
1138
01:14:12,844 --> 01:14:14,012
I do too.
1139
01:14:14,345 --> 01:14:18,016
I have no idea what it's
progress towards, though.
1140
01:14:18,349 --> 01:14:20,852
Consciously or unconsciously?
1141
01:14:39,037 --> 01:14:42,373
It may not be much of a
river to you, but to me...
1142
01:14:43,291 --> 01:14:45,752
...the Mississippi, the Rio Grande...
1143
01:14:46,377 --> 01:14:48,129
...the Danube...
1144
01:14:48,379 --> 01:14:49,714
...the Amazon.
1145
01:14:49,881 --> 01:14:52,550
I don't know about the Amazon, Roy.
1146
01:14:55,720 --> 01:14:58,723
Isn't it obvious to you
that you and me are...
1147
01:14:58,890 --> 01:15:00,808
...as comfortable together as...
1148
01:15:00,975 --> 01:15:02,226
...a couple of old shoes?
1149
01:15:03,561 --> 01:15:05,104
Old shoes?
1150
01:15:09,901 --> 01:15:12,737
Look, David's a really good person.
1151
01:15:15,823 --> 01:15:19,160
Whenever anybody says they're
with a really good person...
1152
01:15:19,494 --> 01:15:22,080
...it means they're about to leave them.
1153
01:15:22,413 --> 01:15:24,582
You're awfully judgmental.
1154
01:15:29,671 --> 01:15:32,131
It's one of my few redeeming virtues.
1155
01:15:34,175 --> 01:15:36,594
David's involved in a
lot of charity work.
1156
01:15:36,761 --> 01:15:40,014
- Gets his name in the papers.
- Let me just finish.
1157
01:15:40,181 --> 01:15:42,600
Many people don't see he's sensitive.
1158
01:15:42,767 --> 01:15:44,769
Well, so am I. I mean, hell...
1159
01:15:44,936 --> 01:15:48,773
Shit, I'm twice as sensitive
as he is. I mean, I...
1160
01:15:49,440 --> 01:15:51,776
I brought you to the river.
That's a...
1161
01:15:51,943 --> 01:15:53,444
...nature kind of thing.
1162
01:15:54,946 --> 01:15:59,492
It is a nature kind of thing.
It's a very nice river. Thank you.
1163
01:16:00,451 --> 01:16:03,955
But that's not the point. The point
is David is there for me.
1164
01:16:04,122 --> 01:16:05,289
Oh, God.
1165
01:16:05,456 --> 01:16:06,874
Not the...
1166
01:16:07,041 --> 01:16:10,378
..."He's a very good person
and he's there for me" thing.
1167
01:16:10,628 --> 01:16:12,046
Let me be your shrink.
1168
01:16:12,213 --> 01:16:13,881
That's not a good idea.
1169
01:16:14,048 --> 01:16:16,634
You sound like a woman
looking for a way out.
1170
01:16:20,221 --> 01:16:21,221
Warm?
1171
01:16:23,558 --> 01:16:25,143
That's enough, Roy.
1172
01:16:28,730 --> 01:16:29,856
I'm sorry.
1173
01:16:44,996 --> 01:16:46,539
We could kiss.
1174
01:16:47,165 --> 01:16:50,001
No, look, no harm, no foul just a...
1175
01:16:50,418 --> 01:16:52,879
...little, small, innocent kind of...
1176
01:16:53,087 --> 01:16:54,213
...kind of...
1177
01:16:55,089 --> 01:16:56,549
...semi...
1178
01:16:57,258 --> 01:16:58,593
...platonic...
1179
01:17:02,847 --> 01:17:05,391
Roy, there's no such thing as...
1180
01:17:05,600 --> 01:17:07,727
...semi-platonic, Roy.
1181
01:17:09,604 --> 01:17:11,022
There ought to be.
1182
01:17:15,026 --> 01:17:17,028
You should take me home.
1183
01:17:44,806 --> 01:17:45,806
Well...
1184
01:17:46,724 --> 01:17:48,643
Good luck in the Open.
1185
01:19:46,177 --> 01:19:47,845
It's got your name on it.
1186
01:19:49,347 --> 01:19:51,766
It's Lee Janzen and Billy Mayfair.
1187
01:19:53,601 --> 01:19:55,520
They look just like they do on TV.
1188
01:19:55,687 --> 01:19:56,687
Look.
1189
01:19:59,691 --> 01:20:01,192
Look at these balls.
1190
01:20:01,609 --> 01:20:03,027
Brand-new Titleist.
1191
01:20:03,611 --> 01:20:04,696
Look at them.
1192
01:20:04,862 --> 01:20:07,115
Every one of them, brand-new Titleist.
1193
01:20:08,700 --> 01:20:10,743
Sneak a few in the bag.
1194
01:20:11,202 --> 01:20:15,123
We swipe enough free shit,
we may pay for this fiasco.
1195
01:20:15,957 --> 01:20:19,293
Would it be inappropriate if I asked
Lee Janzen for his autograph?
1196
01:20:19,460 --> 01:20:24,382
I think that's a dead giveaway, but if I
got the shanks, we'll be found out soon.
1197
01:20:26,217 --> 01:20:28,636
Hit the 7.
You always hit that good.
1198
01:20:29,053 --> 01:20:30,049
Good thinking.
1199
01:20:30,149 --> 01:20:31,472
Come on, man.
1200
01:20:33,891 --> 01:20:35,435
Keep your head down.
1201
01:20:35,727 --> 01:20:37,562
You're making me nervous.
1202
01:20:43,651 --> 01:20:45,320
- Who hit that shot?!
- Yeah, who hit it?
1203
01:20:45,486 --> 01:20:46,571
Anyone see?
1204
01:20:46,738 --> 01:20:48,072
You're supposed to be pros!
1205
01:20:49,240 --> 01:20:51,492
- A little thin.
- A little fucking thin.
1206
01:20:51,659 --> 01:20:53,119
I still got the shanks.
1207
01:20:53,328 --> 01:20:55,163
- Don't worry.
- Everyone's watching.
1208
01:20:55,330 --> 01:20:56,581
Nobody's watching.
1209
01:20:56,748 --> 01:20:59,500
Just hit them up. Just stand
up there. You can do it.
1210
01:21:14,015 --> 01:21:16,642
The guys down the line
are a little concerned.
1211
01:21:17,101 --> 01:21:18,102
You're Tin Cup?
1212
01:21:18,269 --> 01:21:21,439
Right, McAvoy from West Texas.
We're from West Texas.
1213
01:21:21,606 --> 01:21:22,649
Try aiming left.
1214
01:21:22,857 --> 01:21:25,610
Try backing up and giving
me just a little room.
1215
01:21:29,614 --> 01:21:30,865
That's Johnny Miller.
1216
01:21:31,032 --> 01:21:32,533
I don't give a fuck.
1217
01:21:32,867 --> 01:21:34,369
Jesus, Cup.
1218
01:21:34,702 --> 01:21:37,163
- Can I have your autograph.
- No problem. To who?
1219
01:21:38,206 --> 01:21:39,874
To Romeo, my best friend,
1220
01:21:41,000 --> 01:21:42,210
Good luck to you guys.
1221
01:21:42,543 --> 01:21:45,880
You might want to make plane
reservations soon, the way you're hitting.
1222
01:21:46,047 --> 01:21:48,341
Great Open in '73.
1223
01:21:48,508 --> 01:21:50,418
- What a nice guy.
- Did you get his autograph?
1224
01:21:50,518 --> 01:21:53,471
- Yeah, look... my best friend.
- See who's over there?
1225
01:21:53,846 --> 01:21:54,847
Jesus Christ.
1226
01:21:55,014 --> 01:21:57,016
It's only an autograph, man.
1227
01:21:57,350 --> 01:21:59,060
Simms is here.
1228
01:22:02,105 --> 01:22:03,105
Shit.
1229
01:22:03,856 --> 01:22:05,892
Hit your putter, you can't shank.
1230
01:22:05,992 --> 01:22:09,362
You're the Mexican Mac O'Grady.
Figure out why I'm shanking.
1231
01:22:09,737 --> 01:22:11,698
- Now what?
- Shoot.
1232
01:22:11,864 --> 01:22:13,866
I'm catching it on the hosel?
1233
01:22:14,450 --> 01:22:15,952
Moving my head?
1234
01:22:16,244 --> 01:22:18,246
- I'm laying it off?
- That, too.
1235
01:22:18,454 --> 01:22:19,539
I'm pronating.
1236
01:22:19,706 --> 01:22:23,376
- When you're not supinating.
- I'm clearing too early, too late.
1237
01:22:23,543 --> 01:22:25,878
My swing feels like an unfolding chair!
1238
01:22:29,382 --> 01:22:31,384
Put your change in your left pocket.
1239
01:22:32,135 --> 01:22:33,636
Go on, do it.
1240
01:22:37,974 --> 01:22:41,060
Now, tie your left
shoe in a double knot.
1241
01:22:41,227 --> 01:22:43,730
- Tie my left shoe?
- Right now, do it!
1242
01:22:50,737 --> 01:22:52,155
Turn the hat backwards.
1243
01:22:52,447 --> 01:22:54,782
Turn your hat around.
Do it, Roy!
1244
01:22:59,162 --> 01:23:00,413
Take this tee...
1245
01:23:00,580 --> 01:23:01,914
...and stick it...
1246
01:23:02,498 --> 01:23:03,791
...behind your left ear.
1247
01:23:06,294 --> 01:23:07,920
I look like a fool!
1248
01:23:08,087 --> 01:23:12,091
What do you think you look like
shooting chili peppers up Janzen's ass?
1249
01:23:14,010 --> 01:23:16,304
Do it now or I'm going to quit.
1250
01:23:16,512 --> 01:23:18,514
I swear to God I'll quit.
1251
01:23:19,932 --> 01:23:20,932
Good.
1252
01:23:21,267 --> 01:23:22,268
Take this ball...
1253
01:23:22,435 --> 01:23:24,437
...and hit it up the fairway.
1254
01:23:24,604 --> 01:23:25,772
You're ready.
1255
01:23:40,453 --> 01:23:41,704
How'd I do that?
1256
01:23:41,829 --> 01:23:45,792
Because you're not thinking
about shanking or Molly.
1257
01:23:45,958 --> 01:23:47,210
You're not thinking.
1258
01:23:47,335 --> 01:23:50,338
You're looking like a fool,
hitting the ball pure and simple...
1259
01:23:50,546 --> 01:23:51,500
Fuck you.
1260
01:23:51,600 --> 01:23:54,133
Fuck me, huh? Well, you're cured.
1261
01:23:56,344 --> 01:23:57,637
That's it?
1262
01:23:58,346 --> 01:23:59,639
That's it.
1263
01:23:59,806 --> 01:24:01,974
Your brain was getting in the way.
1264
01:24:03,559 --> 01:24:05,728
That's hardly ever been the case.
1265
01:24:05,853 --> 01:24:07,230
No shit, Sherlock.
1266
01:24:07,355 --> 01:24:08,648
What next?
1267
01:24:10,733 --> 01:24:13,236
You should work on
your short game but...
1268
01:24:13,987 --> 01:24:15,238
...get drunk.
1269
01:24:15,363 --> 01:24:16,823
Get drunk?
1270
01:24:17,490 --> 01:24:19,075
You play better.
1271
01:24:21,244 --> 01:24:22,829
Remember Brownsville?
1272
01:24:24,998 --> 01:24:25,942
Come on.
1273
01:24:26,042 --> 01:24:27,083
When do I tee off?
1274
01:24:27,250 --> 01:24:29,752
At 7:08. We're the first guys going.
1275
01:24:29,877 --> 01:24:32,171
Come on, one more, just do it.
1276
01:24:32,338 --> 01:24:33,313
Come on.
1277
01:24:33,413 --> 01:24:35,258
- Get it down.
- That's in 4 hours.
1278
01:24:35,383 --> 01:24:36,383
Right.
1279
01:24:39,846 --> 01:24:43,766
Here's to the finely-tuned
athlete on the verge of greatness.
1280
01:25:00,992 --> 01:25:02,493
Should have set an alarm.
1281
01:25:04,787 --> 01:25:06,414
The 7:08 pairing...
1282
01:25:06,622 --> 01:25:09,709
...from Salami, Texas, Mr. Roy McAvoy.
1283
01:25:10,918 --> 01:25:12,795
Any time for a quick bucket?
1284
01:25:12,920 --> 01:25:13,921
Tee it up.
1285
01:25:16,132 --> 01:25:19,218
We almost missed the starting
time getting you off the floor.
1286
01:25:19,385 --> 01:25:22,305
You don't handle hooch like you used to.
1287
01:25:23,431 --> 01:25:27,310
I've seen this hole on TV.
Hit the big dog up the chute.
1288
01:25:27,435 --> 01:25:31,314
I've learned my lesson.
I'll play it safe, smart...
1289
01:25:31,898 --> 01:25:33,316
...conservative.
1290
01:25:34,150 --> 01:25:36,569
Fairways and greens. Hand me a 2-iron.
1291
01:25:36,944 --> 01:25:37,944
You sure?
1292
01:25:42,659 --> 01:25:44,077
Here we go.
1293
01:25:51,250 --> 01:25:52,919
Not a good day.
1294
01:25:53,753 --> 01:25:55,171
Be humble.
1295
01:26:02,178 --> 01:26:03,429
Be humble.
1296
01:26:03,596 --> 01:26:04,596
83.
1297
01:26:04,931 --> 01:26:06,599
You're humble now, homes.
1298
01:26:06,974 --> 01:26:08,685
I was hungover.
1299
01:26:09,894 --> 01:26:11,854
Maybe that was a coaching mistake.
1300
01:26:11,980 --> 01:26:14,857
Yeah, maybe it was.
Thanks, amigo.
1301
01:26:15,441 --> 01:26:16,859
David Simms...
1302
01:26:16,985 --> 01:26:21,489
...is the first-round leader at the
U.S. Open after a brilliant 67.
1303
01:26:22,198 --> 01:26:24,367
Well, Jim, I must tell you...
1304
01:26:24,492 --> 01:26:28,871
...I didn't expect to go out
there right out and shoot a 67.
1305
01:26:31,624 --> 01:26:35,211
I've marveled at how you've been
able to balance superb play...
1306
01:26:35,378 --> 01:26:37,296
...with the energy you give...
1307
01:26:37,463 --> 01:26:40,133
...to so many charities
and all of your fans.
1308
01:26:40,299 --> 01:26:43,636
Well, you know I...
This game is about...
1309
01:26:43,803 --> 01:26:46,305
...tradition and integrity and honor.
1310
01:26:46,514 --> 01:26:49,475
You know, the U.S. Open is it for us.
1311
01:26:49,642 --> 01:26:53,396
So I'm going to go out tomorrow
and try to make some good swings.
1312
01:26:53,521 --> 01:26:54,814
Lord willing...
1313
01:26:55,148 --> 01:26:56,524
...I'll do well and...
1314
01:26:56,733 --> 01:26:59,152
The Anti-Christ shoots 67.
1315
01:26:59,736 --> 01:27:00,903
Believe that?
1316
01:27:01,029 --> 01:27:04,407
Yeah, the old Antichrist
had a hot putter today.
1317
01:27:04,991 --> 01:27:06,326
Good seeing you.
1318
01:27:08,161 --> 01:27:10,913
Be well, buddy. I'll see
you out in the trenches.
1319
01:27:11,914 --> 01:27:13,666
I must run right now...
1320
01:27:13,833 --> 01:27:15,501
...but I'll see you later.
1321
01:27:16,044 --> 01:27:18,421
Christ Almighty Jesus.
1322
01:27:19,547 --> 01:27:21,341
The cover or nothing.
1323
01:27:21,507 --> 01:27:24,844
They want you for USA Weekend.
We're saying it's the cover or no go.
1324
01:27:27,055 --> 01:27:28,765
Excuse me, Mr. Simms.
1325
01:27:28,931 --> 01:27:31,434
Would you give our
grandson an autograph?
1326
01:27:31,559 --> 01:27:32,935
Please, Mr. Simms?
1327
01:27:33,061 --> 01:27:36,064
Can you people not see that
I'm busy? I'm working.
1328
01:27:36,356 --> 01:27:37,774
This is my office.
1329
01:27:37,940 --> 01:27:40,568
Do I come to your office
and ask for an autograph?
1330
01:27:40,777 --> 01:27:42,070
I don't think so.
1331
01:27:42,278 --> 01:27:43,478
Jesus.
1332
01:27:43,696 --> 01:27:45,073
What an ugly dog.
1333
01:27:46,074 --> 01:27:47,950
It's okay, Joe.
1334
01:28:01,589 --> 01:28:03,299
- Nice playing.
- Hell of a round.
1335
01:28:03,549 --> 01:28:04,717
Great start.
1336
01:28:04,884 --> 01:28:06,719
I got lucky out there.
1337
01:28:09,555 --> 01:28:10,807
Hello, Cup.
1338
01:28:12,475 --> 01:28:16,062
I heard you put a monster
number up there.
1339
01:28:16,229 --> 01:28:18,231
It could have been worse.
1340
01:28:19,065 --> 01:28:23,403
I played in the Pro-Am with some
asshole movie star here once.
1341
01:28:24,737 --> 01:28:26,489
Shot an 82.
1342
01:28:27,240 --> 01:28:29,242
Now, how in the world...
1343
01:28:29,409 --> 01:28:32,328
...can a great ball-striker like you...
1344
01:28:32,620 --> 01:28:33,830
...a legend...
1345
01:28:35,498 --> 01:28:37,750
...manage to put up an 83?
1346
01:28:38,334 --> 01:28:41,129
Well, I missed a 4-foot putt on 18...
1347
01:28:41,337 --> 01:28:42,755
...for an 82.
1348
01:28:43,339 --> 01:28:44,632
That's how.
1349
01:28:45,091 --> 01:28:49,262
Ain't like playing some muni-track
in Brownsville, is it?
1350
01:28:50,138 --> 01:28:53,016
Does "integrity, tradition and honor"...
1351
01:28:53,433 --> 01:28:55,643
...include kicking a man when he's down?
1352
01:28:58,771 --> 01:29:00,773
This is just guy stuff.
1353
01:29:01,774 --> 01:29:03,151
It's just bar talk.
1354
01:29:03,359 --> 01:29:04,359
No offense?
1355
01:29:04,610 --> 01:29:07,447
This man still has a lot of
great golf shots in his system.
1356
01:29:07,613 --> 01:29:09,115
It's okay. Go away.
1357
01:29:09,282 --> 01:29:12,285
Just... I don't need any
attention right now.
1358
01:29:12,535 --> 01:29:16,039
I'll bet you $100 that
Roy can hit a ball...
1359
01:29:16,164 --> 01:29:18,875
...through the door, over
the patio into the river.
1360
01:29:19,042 --> 01:29:21,961
And, Harold, give me a
vodka tonic with a twist.
1361
01:29:23,629 --> 01:29:25,798
Really, this isn't dignified.
1362
01:29:26,883 --> 01:29:28,968
Oh, I am so sorry.
1363
01:29:30,303 --> 01:29:31,888
I just want to go home.
1364
01:29:32,805 --> 01:29:34,307
What about the river?
1365
01:29:34,891 --> 01:29:38,061
The piranha, the immortality,
all that bullshit?
1366
01:29:38,644 --> 01:29:41,397
You going to drag your
ass home with an 83?
1367
01:29:44,484 --> 01:29:45,484
$200.
1368
01:29:46,486 --> 01:29:47,570
For $200...
1369
01:29:48,321 --> 01:29:53,159
...Roy can hit the ball through the bar,
out the patio, into the river...
1370
01:29:53,326 --> 01:29:56,704
...and make that pelican
right there fly off its post.
1371
01:29:57,080 --> 01:29:58,581
From right here.
1372
01:30:02,418 --> 01:30:03,503
God Almighty.
1373
01:30:03,670 --> 01:30:05,338
This is ridiculous.
1374
01:30:09,217 --> 01:30:11,427
You got the shot, pods.
1375
01:30:11,928 --> 01:30:13,680
Romeo, shut up.
1376
01:30:14,097 --> 01:30:17,684
Just turn it over and start it
off low and go it right to left...
1377
01:30:17,850 --> 01:30:18,935
He can do it.
1378
01:30:19,102 --> 01:30:23,731
You can do it. And I'm not leaving till
one of you men act in a manly fashion.
1379
01:30:23,940 --> 01:30:25,858
Can we get this over with?
1380
01:30:33,449 --> 01:30:34,701
One ball...
1381
01:30:34,867 --> 01:30:36,452
...one swing...
1382
01:30:38,246 --> 01:30:39,246
...one...
1383
01:30:40,039 --> 01:30:41,249
...pelican.
1384
01:30:42,125 --> 01:30:43,126
From there.
1385
01:30:44,127 --> 01:30:45,253
You can do it.
1386
01:30:45,461 --> 01:30:47,755
You're the man. Shut him up.
1387
01:30:57,974 --> 01:30:59,392
One swing?
1388
01:30:59,559 --> 01:31:00,893
One swing.
1389
01:31:01,060 --> 01:31:02,056
4 to 1.
1390
01:31:02,156 --> 01:31:03,646
Give him 10-1.
1391
01:31:06,399 --> 01:31:07,984
I'll need a fairway.
1392
01:31:08,151 --> 01:31:09,652
Here's what he's got.
1393
01:31:09,777 --> 01:31:14,490
30 yards of bar and grill, then must go
through the doors, over umbrellas...
1394
01:31:14,657 --> 01:31:16,492
...then carry 30 yards of river.
1395
01:31:16,659 --> 01:31:18,911
He must pop that pelican off its perch.
1396
01:31:19,078 --> 01:31:20,913
Kind of a thin line.
1397
01:31:21,080 --> 01:31:24,167
Beats that deep shit
rough you were in all day.
1398
01:31:25,376 --> 01:31:26,711
Pelican's on the other side.
1399
01:31:27,170 --> 01:31:29,172
What a tough shot.
1400
01:31:29,422 --> 01:31:34,010
He's just got to be thinking of that
brutal, ego-sapping, manhood-robbing...
1401
01:31:34,177 --> 01:31:36,679
...83 he buried himself under today.
1402
01:31:36,804 --> 01:31:38,431
That's an avalanche of strokes.
1403
01:31:39,265 --> 01:31:40,808
Get control of that guy.
1404
01:31:41,017 --> 01:31:43,102
Will you shut up? Get down.
1405
01:31:56,616 --> 01:31:58,284
Did you see that shot?!
1406
01:31:58,534 --> 01:32:00,203
Oh, my God!
1407
01:32:05,458 --> 01:32:06,959
That should cover it.
1408
01:32:08,795 --> 01:32:09,795
You know...
1409
01:32:10,963 --> 01:32:12,965
...you're all fucking nuts.
1410
01:32:22,850 --> 01:32:26,354
You really look good.
1411
01:32:28,815 --> 01:32:29,899
Oh, God.
1412
01:32:59,679 --> 01:33:01,097
Oh, my God.
1413
01:33:01,514 --> 01:33:03,516
I kind of shanked that.
1414
01:33:05,852 --> 01:33:06,852
Come on!
1415
01:33:07,020 --> 01:33:08,020
Shit.
1416
01:33:08,896 --> 01:33:09,896
God.
1417
01:33:10,898 --> 01:33:12,898
Shit, man.
1418
01:33:13,276 --> 01:33:15,028
Tempo's everything.
1419
01:33:18,114 --> 01:33:19,282
Perfection is...
1420
01:33:19,407 --> 01:33:20,908
...unattainable.
1421
01:33:23,286 --> 01:33:25,288
You know, someone said...
1422
01:33:25,413 --> 01:33:29,709
...golf and sex are the only things
you don't have to be good at to enjoy.
1423
01:33:32,920 --> 01:33:34,297
Can I have a Mulligan?
1424
01:33:34,422 --> 01:33:36,299
- A what?
- Mulligan.
1425
01:33:36,424 --> 01:33:37,884
What's a Mulligan?
1426
01:33:39,719 --> 01:33:41,387
Just hold still...
1427
01:33:41,554 --> 01:33:42,805
...don't move...
1428
01:33:42,930 --> 01:33:44,432
...and I'll show you.
1429
01:33:44,807 --> 01:33:47,935
In fact, wait a minute,
get on top. I'll show you.
1430
01:33:48,144 --> 01:33:49,395
I'll tee it up.
1431
01:33:50,813 --> 01:33:52,815
Come on, Roy.
1432
01:34:13,169 --> 01:34:15,672
Welcome everyone,
Jim Nantz with Ken Venturi.
1433
01:34:15,838 --> 01:34:17,674
The sun's struggling to appear.
1434
01:34:17,840 --> 01:34:20,510
The course is drying up.
In case you're just joining us...
1435
01:34:20,677 --> 01:34:25,098
...David Simms is tied for the lead
at 5 under par with Peter Jacobsen.
1436
01:34:25,264 --> 01:34:29,352
But the real story today
involves a driving range pro...
1437
01:34:29,602 --> 01:34:32,772
...who shot an opening
round 83 yesterday...
1438
01:34:33,106 --> 01:34:35,775
...but is now making U.S. Open history.
1439
01:34:35,942 --> 01:34:39,750
The single round record in Open history
is in jeopardy because of McAvoy.
1440
01:34:39,850 --> 01:34:43,741
Another driving range pro,
it's all we needed.
1441
01:34:43,866 --> 01:34:47,704
It's heroes that I need.
Not obscure driving range pros.
1442
01:34:47,870 --> 01:34:49,872
Okay, Ben, back at 16.
1443
01:34:51,207 --> 01:34:55,628
This putt he's studied from every
angle and I'm sure he knows...
1444
01:34:55,795 --> 01:34:58,881
...it's got to be firm on the
left-hand edge with this putt.
1445
01:34:59,007 --> 01:35:02,635
Get thumbnails on these guys.
I don't know where he's from...
1446
01:35:02,802 --> 01:35:06,222
...but here he is, going
ten under, if he makes it.
1447
01:35:09,308 --> 01:35:11,519
Look at that. Smooth as silk.
1448
01:35:11,728 --> 01:35:13,229
He's made it!
1449
01:35:13,646 --> 01:35:16,399
10 under par for McAvoy!
1450
01:35:16,733 --> 01:35:18,401
Man alive!
1451
01:35:18,526 --> 01:35:22,030
This is the stuff
of legend, I would say.
1452
01:35:25,241 --> 01:35:26,659
Who is McAvoy?
1453
01:35:27,827 --> 01:35:30,038
You ever hear of this McAvoy guy?
1454
01:35:30,496 --> 01:35:34,667
Roy McAvoy, after a par at 17.
An eagle to shoot 60...
1455
01:35:35,168 --> 01:35:38,504
...although no one has knocked it
onto the green in 2 here today.
1456
01:35:38,671 --> 01:35:40,665
It's not a shot you want
to be aggressive with.
1457
01:35:40,765 --> 01:35:42,750
You gotta be conservative,
you gotta think to shot out.
1458
01:35:42,850 --> 01:35:43,850
He's in great position.
1459
01:35:44,177 --> 01:35:46,179
It's a 3 shot par 5.
1460
01:35:46,346 --> 01:35:49,057
Especially today, a
little wind in the face.
1461
01:35:49,265 --> 01:35:52,560
John Daly ended up in the water
going for this green in two.
1462
01:35:52,769 --> 01:35:55,271
237, man, to carry that water.
1463
01:36:00,026 --> 01:36:01,527
237, man.
1464
01:36:09,369 --> 01:36:10,578
3-wood.
1465
01:36:18,211 --> 01:36:19,186
Hit hard.
1466
01:36:19,286 --> 01:36:23,383
Jimmy, if he lays up, he
takes the bogey out of play.
1467
01:36:23,549 --> 01:36:26,719
He goes for the green,
he brings 6 in, he brings 7 in.
1468
01:36:26,886 --> 01:36:28,971
He must remember he's in contention.
1469
01:36:29,263 --> 01:36:31,849
He has a chance to win.
He must play smart.
1470
01:36:43,736 --> 01:36:45,571
He didn't have enough club.
1471
01:36:46,990 --> 01:36:48,491
Well, what the hell?
1472
01:36:48,616 --> 01:36:50,743
You ride her until she bucks you...
1473
01:36:51,077 --> 01:36:52,578
...or don't ride at all.
1474
01:36:52,745 --> 01:36:55,623
If he can still knock a
wedge close and make par...
1475
01:36:55,999 --> 01:37:00,253
...it'd be one of the most
remarkable turn-arounds in history.
1476
01:37:00,420 --> 01:37:04,424
He's got 85 yards from here and the
drop zone is short of the water.
1477
01:37:04,590 --> 01:37:08,761
He'll need to get it on the upper
level of the multi-terraced green.
1478
01:37:13,433 --> 01:37:18,354
That's a good solid shot leaving
him about 12 feet away for par.
1479
01:37:18,521 --> 01:37:20,356
A par and 62...
1480
01:37:20,606 --> 01:37:23,526
...the all-time Open round record.
1481
01:37:35,371 --> 01:37:36,367
Good stroke.
1482
01:37:36,467 --> 01:37:37,463
He's got it.
1483
01:37:37,874 --> 01:37:38,875
Unbelievable.
1484
01:37:39,042 --> 01:37:41,044
McAvoy has done it.
1485
01:37:41,294 --> 01:37:45,298
You just saw the greatest round
in U.S. Open history.
1486
01:37:45,465 --> 01:37:46,465
62.
1487
01:37:47,884 --> 01:37:52,472
The all-time lowest round in a major
doesn't belong to a Jack Nicklaus...
1488
01:37:52,680 --> 01:37:54,557
...or an Arnold Palmer...
1489
01:37:54,682 --> 01:37:56,309
...Hogan or Sneed.
1490
01:37:56,476 --> 01:37:59,145
It's been shot by the
most improbable artist.
1491
01:37:59,312 --> 01:38:01,564
Roy McAvoy has his signature...
1492
01:38:01,689 --> 01:38:04,442
...on golf's all-time
masterpiece round.
1493
01:38:12,158 --> 01:38:16,913
I've got money from the bet.
Let's go somewhere fancy and celebrate.
1494
01:38:17,205 --> 01:38:20,917
There's nothing to celebrate.
Besides, these are my people.
1495
01:38:21,709 --> 01:38:25,338
I'm a Waffle House guy.
Got to stay in touch with that.
1496
01:38:25,588 --> 01:38:27,507
Plus, he needs his carbohydrates.
1497
01:38:27,674 --> 01:38:31,427
Plus, if the boys in Salome
were in town, they'd come here.
1498
01:38:33,179 --> 01:38:34,222
The legend!
1499
01:38:34,514 --> 01:38:36,849
We've been on a bus 2 days.
1500
01:38:40,353 --> 01:38:41,562
It's so good to see you.
1501
01:38:42,188 --> 01:38:43,940
Sweet 62!
1502
01:38:44,440 --> 01:38:46,359
Put the tables together.
1503
01:38:49,612 --> 01:38:51,239
Does this feel like home?
1504
01:38:51,531 --> 01:38:54,534
We just want you to know we
are with you all the way.
1505
01:38:54,701 --> 01:38:56,953
Doreen, meet Dr. Griswold.
1506
01:38:57,745 --> 01:38:58,955
This is Molly.
1507
01:39:00,123 --> 01:39:01,123
She's my shrink.
1508
01:39:01,457 --> 01:39:03,209
Well, ex-shrink.
1509
01:39:03,376 --> 01:39:05,878
We're sleeping together, so I can't be.
1510
01:39:06,462 --> 01:39:07,880
Knew it. Thanks.
1511
01:39:08,047 --> 01:39:09,215
Knew what?
1512
01:39:09,382 --> 01:39:10,466
Nothing.
1513
01:39:10,633 --> 01:39:11,634
Good luck.
1514
01:39:12,385 --> 01:39:15,555
You know what? I've got
a little extra cash...
1515
01:39:15,722 --> 01:39:19,142
...why don't we go somewhere
a little fancy and celebrate?
1516
01:39:19,267 --> 01:39:20,267
Why?
1517
01:39:20,768 --> 01:39:22,061
In honor of...
1518
01:39:22,228 --> 01:39:23,213
It's the Waffle House.
1519
01:39:23,313 --> 01:39:24,564
I know.
1520
01:39:24,731 --> 01:39:28,151
I've been dreaming about
waffles for 1,800 miles.
1521
01:39:28,276 --> 01:39:29,652
Me too.
1522
01:39:29,777 --> 01:39:32,780
There's a Waffle House like
this in Odessa, Texas.
1523
01:39:33,781 --> 01:39:34,756
No, Midlands.
1524
01:39:34,856 --> 01:39:36,075
It's in Odessa.
1525
01:39:36,242 --> 01:39:39,579
It's in Odessa. I'm from Odessa.
I was born there.
1526
01:39:39,746 --> 01:39:41,164
That's where it is.
1527
01:39:41,289 --> 01:39:42,498
The man.
1528
01:39:42,665 --> 01:39:43,750
To the Cup!
1529
01:39:43,916 --> 01:39:44,891
Cup Man!
1530
01:39:44,991 --> 01:39:46,294
You didn't have to do that.
1531
01:39:47,587 --> 01:39:49,505
You look lovely tonight.
1532
01:39:50,089 --> 01:39:51,424
Thank you.
1533
01:39:53,092 --> 01:39:56,095
I don't know if anyone told you,
but you're a great dancer.
1534
01:39:57,180 --> 01:39:58,306
Really?
1535
01:39:58,931 --> 01:40:02,268
But they had one there.
That's all I'm saying.
1536
01:40:02,435 --> 01:40:04,020
It was Odessa.
1537
01:40:04,187 --> 01:40:07,023
That's not what I was talking about,
you know where we stopped.
1538
01:40:07,190 --> 01:40:09,317
There's an easy way to figure this out.
1539
01:40:09,525 --> 01:40:11,027
You ever tango?
1540
01:40:12,695 --> 01:40:13,695
No.
1541
01:40:14,947 --> 01:40:16,115
Do you?
1542
01:40:19,535 --> 01:40:21,537
Romeo, you dance?
1543
01:40:22,330 --> 01:40:24,123
It doesn't matter!
1544
01:40:25,208 --> 01:40:27,335
It doesn't get much better than this.
1545
01:40:31,839 --> 01:40:36,719
This extraordinary Roy McAvoy,
he just won't go away.
1546
01:40:36,886 --> 01:40:41,140
This humble pro from Salome,
wherever that is.
1547
01:40:41,307 --> 01:40:43,851
- Little town, west Texas.
- It hasn't been discovered yet.
1548
01:40:44,060 --> 01:40:46,062
Over to 18, guys, quickly.
1549
01:40:46,229 --> 01:40:48,147
John Cook at the par 518th.
1550
01:40:48,314 --> 01:40:52,485
No stranger to championship play.
And he's going to lay up.
1551
01:40:53,820 --> 01:40:56,322
Meanwhile, here's Roy McAvoy.
1552
01:40:56,489 --> 01:40:59,242
He has the same shot he knocked
in the water yesterday.
1553
01:40:59,367 --> 01:41:02,245
The thing to do is tune out the
gallery saying "go for it".
1554
01:41:02,370 --> 01:41:05,832
He's back in contention, but he
must continue to play smart.
1555
01:41:06,082 --> 01:41:07,500
Give me a 3-wood.
1556
01:41:12,505 --> 01:41:16,759
He's pulled the 3-wood and he continues
to play without an ounce of fear.
1557
01:41:16,884 --> 01:41:18,970
That is just inexperience,
just pure and simple.
1558
01:41:19,387 --> 01:41:22,765
This is for Venturi up in the
booth thinking I should lay up.
1559
01:41:23,266 --> 01:41:27,270
What does he know? He only won this
tournament before you were born.
1560
01:41:32,900 --> 01:41:37,864
Caught it a little bit high, a breeze
in his face. That's got to go.
1561
01:41:38,489 --> 01:41:41,242
- He's done it again.
- No, not again.
1562
01:41:41,534 --> 01:41:44,620
He has found the water for
the third straight day.
1563
01:41:44,787 --> 01:41:46,539
What was he thinking about?
1564
01:41:46,706 --> 01:41:48,124
Give me another ball.
1565
01:41:50,418 --> 01:41:51,383
What?
1566
01:41:51,483 --> 01:41:52,712
It's a water hazard.
1567
01:41:53,046 --> 01:41:57,050
You go up there and take a drop.
Try to save par, like yesterday.
1568
01:41:57,884 --> 01:41:59,052
You're right.
1569
01:41:59,802 --> 01:42:01,554
What the hell was I thinking?
1570
01:42:02,388 --> 01:42:03,723
He's tied for the lead...
1571
01:42:03,890 --> 01:42:06,643
...this Roy McAvoy, this "Tin Cup"
this empty cup...
1572
01:42:06,809 --> 01:42:08,811
...this air-brain out of nowhere.
1573
01:42:08,936 --> 01:42:10,229
West Texas.
1574
01:42:10,396 --> 01:42:12,398
Thank you for West Texas.
1575
01:42:12,565 --> 01:42:17,070
You went for the green on 18 today.
Do you think that cost you?
1576
01:42:17,236 --> 01:42:19,072
I saved par, didn't I?
1577
01:42:19,947 --> 01:42:20,982
Didn't I?
1578
01:42:21,082 --> 01:42:25,424
You had the same shot yesterday
on 18 without a headwind.
1579
01:42:25,524 --> 01:42:27,113
You don't think I can?
1580
01:42:27,213 --> 01:42:28,213
It's unlikely.
1581
01:42:29,374 --> 01:42:31,867
So am I. Look at me, all right?
1582
01:42:31,967 --> 01:42:35,788
Look what I'm wearing. I'm playing
for Rio Grande Short-Haul Trucking.
1583
01:42:35,888 --> 01:42:37,799
Brink's and Brown's Sanitation.
1584
01:42:39,258 --> 01:42:43,304
First State Bank of Salome.
Woody's Smokehouse.
1585
01:42:44,430 --> 01:42:48,142
You think a guy like me bothers
to worry about the percentages?
1586
01:43:09,914 --> 01:43:12,834
Are you nervous about tomorrow, Roy?
1587
01:43:19,924 --> 01:43:22,343
It won't always be like this, you know.
1588
01:43:22,635 --> 01:43:23,635
What?
1589
01:43:25,013 --> 01:43:27,849
With me, surrounded by
all these guys snoring.
1590
01:43:28,016 --> 01:43:31,269
Stripper ex-girlfriend
laying across from us.
1591
01:43:33,271 --> 01:43:35,773
My caddie sleeping next to her.
1592
01:43:37,191 --> 01:43:39,527
It won't always be like this.
1593
01:43:39,944 --> 01:43:41,946
Yes, it will, Roy.
1594
01:43:42,655 --> 01:43:44,032
It will.
1595
01:44:09,307 --> 01:44:10,725
Dollar bills.
1596
01:44:18,399 --> 01:44:19,776
Dollar bills.
1597
01:44:27,450 --> 01:44:28,993
Dollar bills.
1598
01:44:41,673 --> 01:44:45,426
First up in the final pairing,
from Salome, Texas...
1599
01:44:45,593 --> 01:44:47,762
...Roy McAvoy.
1600
01:44:48,346 --> 01:44:51,140
Fairways and greens, and
don't forget to wave...
1601
01:44:51,349 --> 01:44:52,433
...as I blow by.
1602
01:44:52,767 --> 01:44:55,853
You mean blow up, don't you,
sport? You always do.
1603
01:45:27,927 --> 01:45:31,848
Playing out of Houston, Texas...
...David Simms.
1604
01:45:36,644 --> 01:45:40,481
It's okay, exactly where you are.
You're in great shape.
1605
01:45:58,291 --> 01:45:59,625
How's the lie?
1606
01:45:59,792 --> 01:46:01,794
Shit, it's buried.
1607
01:46:03,796 --> 01:46:05,173
Don't touch it.
1608
01:46:05,381 --> 01:46:06,716
I know the rules.
1609
01:46:11,179 --> 01:46:12,513
What'll you do?
1610
01:46:12,680 --> 01:46:14,057
Go right through there.
1611
01:46:14,349 --> 01:46:15,349
Go for it.
1612
01:46:19,562 --> 01:46:21,522
- Oh, God!
- Don't worry about it.
1613
01:46:21,648 --> 01:46:25,109
It was my fault. I gave you
the wrong club. You'll be fine.
1614
01:46:25,318 --> 01:46:28,196
Don't worry. You did fine.
Give me the club.
1615
01:46:28,613 --> 01:46:32,617
We've just heard Roy McAvoy has
taken a disastrous double-bogey...
1616
01:46:32,784 --> 01:46:34,786
...to open his final round here.
1617
01:46:34,952 --> 01:46:36,454
Trouble back there.
1618
01:46:37,538 --> 01:46:39,248
Just keep making pars.
1619
01:46:39,457 --> 01:46:41,876
I'll take 18 of them, all day.
1620
01:46:42,043 --> 01:46:43,961
Do it, and I'll own you.
1621
01:47:12,281 --> 01:47:13,281
Fore!
1622
01:47:18,287 --> 01:47:20,415
Roy McAvoy's second shot...
1623
01:47:20,581 --> 01:47:24,127
...at the second hole has
gone deep into the woods.
1624
01:47:24,293 --> 01:47:27,255
For a report on his plight,
let's go to Gary McCord...
1625
01:47:27,839 --> 01:47:32,010
...who has spent most of his life
in the woods and in darkness.
1626
01:47:32,135 --> 01:47:34,012
He's in jail here.
1627
01:47:34,137 --> 01:47:35,430
No chance for parole.
1628
01:47:35,596 --> 01:47:40,226
He's got to hit the ball back in the
fairway, pitch the ball on the green...
1629
01:47:40,435 --> 01:47:41,769
...and get up and down for par.
1630
01:47:41,936 --> 01:47:43,771
No chance to hit it on the green.
1631
01:47:45,148 --> 01:47:47,150
$50 says I knock it on with a 7-iron.
1632
01:47:47,608 --> 01:47:48,776
On the green?
1633
01:47:48,943 --> 01:47:49,939
Right.
1634
01:47:50,039 --> 01:47:51,070
You got it.
1635
01:47:51,779 --> 01:47:54,699
Move these people back right here.
I'm going right there.
1636
01:47:58,286 --> 01:47:59,620
What's he got?
1637
01:47:59,871 --> 01:48:00,872
What's he doing?
1638
01:48:02,332 --> 01:48:06,169
He's going to try to ricochet off
the toilet with a hooded 7-iron.
1639
01:48:06,544 --> 01:48:08,254
He's hitting off the shitter.
1640
01:48:08,463 --> 01:48:10,715
I can't believe he's doing this.
1641
01:48:10,882 --> 01:48:12,467
DVT 1, record.
1642
01:48:12,633 --> 01:48:13,760
Record this.
1643
01:48:23,978 --> 01:48:28,650
Roy McAvoy has banked his third
shot at the second hole...
1644
01:48:28,816 --> 01:48:33,738
...between the trees, off a water closet,
or loo, as you might call it...
1645
01:48:33,905 --> 01:48:36,658
...and got it on the green,
somehow, in three.
1646
01:48:36,908 --> 01:48:40,328
May be the shot that gets
him back on track here.
1647
01:48:40,495 --> 01:48:42,497
It could erase that double-bogey.
1648
01:48:42,664 --> 01:48:44,582
Best thing that ever happened to him.
1649
01:49:14,487 --> 01:49:16,489
Oh, that was great.
1650
01:49:16,698 --> 01:49:20,493
I didn't know there was a mirror
in here. Isn't that cute?
1651
01:49:32,171 --> 01:49:34,173
Let me just look at my...
1652
01:50:18,968 --> 01:50:22,055
Looks level. Roll it in like
you know what you're doing.
1653
01:50:24,974 --> 01:50:26,643
Hit it close, sport.
1654
01:51:03,262 --> 01:51:05,473
How did he get the name Tin Cup?
1655
01:51:05,723 --> 01:51:08,810
He was the catcher on the
high school baseball team.
1656
01:51:08,977 --> 01:51:10,979
Star pitcher had a curve.
1657
01:51:11,145 --> 01:51:13,356
Not all his pitches hit Roy in the mitt.
1658
01:51:14,482 --> 01:51:18,361
Team thought "Tin Cup" was a
whole lot better than "Clank".
1659
01:51:26,327 --> 01:51:27,327
Fuck.
1660
01:51:29,747 --> 01:51:30,832
Too bad.
1661
01:51:47,849 --> 01:51:50,184
Can I ask you a question?
1662
01:51:51,269 --> 01:51:53,479
Have you ever had a Latin lover?
1663
01:51:53,855 --> 01:51:57,400
Where does he get his name
from is what I want to know.
1664
01:51:59,777 --> 01:52:03,948
Why did you wait so long to
leave that Simms character?
1665
01:52:04,115 --> 01:52:09,037
It takes time to realize Prince Charming
might be wearing a beer-stained shirt...
1666
01:52:09,203 --> 01:52:10,788
...eating sausage...
1667
01:52:10,955 --> 01:52:14,709
...making $7 an hour
in some driving range.
1668
01:52:14,876 --> 01:52:19,797
You don't try to fix men, I hope.
Men cannot be fixed, especially him.
1669
01:52:20,048 --> 01:52:22,967
I've been pathetically
slow learning that lesson.
1670
01:52:23,593 --> 01:52:25,136
- How are you?
- How are you?
1671
01:52:25,303 --> 01:52:26,278
Good.
1672
01:52:26,378 --> 01:52:27,597
I could use help.
1673
01:52:27,805 --> 01:52:31,601
I've seen what you've done with McAvoy.
It could come in handy.
1674
01:52:31,809 --> 01:52:33,895
Let me give you my card.
1675
01:52:34,062 --> 01:52:35,146
Great.
1676
01:52:35,355 --> 01:52:39,484
If you have more of these, a bunch of
the other guys could use your help.
1677
01:52:39,692 --> 01:52:41,027
Take them all.
1678
01:52:41,194 --> 01:52:43,279
- This is Doreen.
- Hi, how are you?
1679
01:52:43,404 --> 01:52:45,698
My number's there, call any time.
1680
01:52:45,907 --> 01:52:48,493
I counsel couples, so bring
your caddie if you want.
1681
01:52:48,701 --> 01:52:50,495
I'll think about it,
and I'll give you a call.
1682
01:52:50,703 --> 01:52:51,647
Thanks.
1683
01:52:51,747 --> 01:52:53,373
Bye, nice meeting you.
1684
01:52:53,956 --> 01:52:54,921
Cheers.
1685
01:52:55,021 --> 01:52:55,986
Cheers.
1686
01:53:20,984 --> 01:53:23,987
That puts Jacobsen
into a tie at 7, guys.
1687
01:53:24,153 --> 01:53:28,074
That Tin Cup guy is one shot back.
Let's keep abreast of that.
1688
01:53:28,616 --> 01:53:31,536
That birdie by Peter
Jacobsen forged a tie...
1689
01:53:31,786 --> 01:53:33,955
...at 7 under with David Simms.
1690
01:53:34,122 --> 01:53:36,958
And Roy McAvoy
just won't go away.
1691
01:53:37,125 --> 01:53:39,877
He's only one shot back at 6 under par.
1692
01:53:56,394 --> 01:54:00,523
He's throwing darts. If we don't make
birdies, we're playing for second.
1693
01:54:00,815 --> 01:54:03,067
Can you believe McAvoy's still here?
1694
01:54:03,234 --> 01:54:06,321
I can't believe "Tin Cup" might
appear with my name on a trophy.
1695
01:54:06,487 --> 01:54:09,991
It's come down to the 72nd
hole of this championship...
1696
01:54:10,158 --> 01:54:14,078
...and 3 men all battling to be
crowned the Open champion.
1697
01:54:14,245 --> 01:54:16,080
Jacobsen's on the fairway...
1698
01:54:16,247 --> 01:54:17,665
...at 8 under par...
1699
01:54:17,832 --> 01:54:21,336
...tied for the lead with Roy
McAvoy, who's on the 18th tee.
1700
01:54:21,502 --> 01:54:24,630
And David Simms is back
there trailing by one.
1701
01:54:41,272 --> 01:54:43,358
- Jacobsen's laying up.
- Took out an iron.
1702
01:54:43,483 --> 01:54:47,862
Jacobsen's going to lay up.
He's tied for the lead.
1703
01:54:48,029 --> 01:54:50,031
Assures himself of a par...
1704
01:54:50,198 --> 01:54:51,282
...and with his short game...
1705
01:54:51,449 --> 01:54:52,742
...he could make birdie.
1706
01:54:53,951 --> 01:54:55,953
You ain't going to have that luxury.
1707
01:54:58,122 --> 01:54:59,874
Not if you play to win.
1708
01:55:26,150 --> 01:55:28,236
We've seen this position before.
1709
01:55:28,403 --> 01:55:31,489
McAvoy with another
perfect drive at the 18th.
1710
01:55:31,614 --> 01:55:35,702
The last thing he needs right now
is an excuse to go for the green.
1711
01:55:35,994 --> 01:55:37,245
I didn't catch it all.
1712
01:55:37,412 --> 01:55:40,498
Well, that's okay.
You'll have to lay up then.
1713
01:56:16,034 --> 01:56:17,577
This is for par.
1714
01:56:20,788 --> 01:56:22,540
So, birdie wins it.
1715
01:56:23,458 --> 01:56:24,834
That's par.
1716
01:56:26,210 --> 01:56:27,545
He's in the lead.
1717
01:56:29,047 --> 01:56:30,673
They all must catch him.
1718
01:56:30,840 --> 01:56:32,133
You or me, Dave?
1719
01:56:44,646 --> 01:56:46,064
He's laying up.
1720
01:56:47,065 --> 01:56:48,483
He's laying up.
1721
01:56:50,068 --> 01:56:54,572
Birdie to tie, eagle to win.
Gutless wonder's laying up.
1722
01:56:54,697 --> 01:56:58,493
It's birdie to win and par
to tie for you. Lay up.
1723
01:56:59,661 --> 01:57:02,372
You can still make a birdie laying up.
1724
01:57:03,081 --> 01:57:04,582
You know what?
1725
01:57:04,707 --> 01:57:07,418
If I make an eagle that puts me 10 under.
1726
01:57:07,585 --> 01:57:10,713
No one's ever finished an Open
10 under, not even Nicklaus.
1727
01:57:11,339 --> 01:57:15,593
You don't need an eagle to win.
Birdie wins, par ties.
1728
01:57:15,718 --> 01:57:16,886
Lay it up.
1729
01:57:19,681 --> 01:57:23,810
Birdie wins, parties. Hole out
a wedge for a goddamn eagle?!
1730
01:57:26,020 --> 01:57:27,522
This is everything.
1731
01:57:27,855 --> 01:57:31,609
This is the choice it comes down
to, this is our immortality.
1732
01:57:31,734 --> 01:57:35,822
Don't think about immortality,
think "hit the 7-iron".
1733
01:57:39,784 --> 01:57:44,622
No, no, no. This is what always
happens. He's going for it.
1734
01:57:44,789 --> 01:57:45,790
Go for it!
1735
01:57:49,210 --> 01:57:50,795
Molly, get a grip.
1736
01:57:51,295 --> 01:57:54,799
He only needs par to tie.
Tell him to lay up.
1737
01:57:54,966 --> 01:57:57,468
Go for it, Roy! Just knock it on!
1738
01:57:58,386 --> 01:58:02,140
This is why we broke up.
He always went for it.
1739
01:58:02,307 --> 01:58:06,477
My problem is, I've never been
with a man who went for it.
1740
01:58:06,644 --> 01:58:08,980
Honey, he's your guy.
1741
01:58:11,232 --> 01:58:12,900
One swing, Roy.
1742
01:58:13,484 --> 01:58:15,570
One good swing.
1743
01:58:18,239 --> 01:58:20,908
John Daly couldn't do it.
What's he doing?
1744
01:58:21,075 --> 01:58:23,911
Unbelievable he's going
for it 4 days in a row.
1745
01:58:24,078 --> 01:58:26,080
No, 3 days he's put it in the water.
1746
01:58:26,247 --> 01:58:28,750
It'll be 4 days if he hits his 3-wood.
1747
01:58:31,085 --> 01:58:32,670
Come on, baby.
1748
01:58:32,920 --> 01:58:34,255
We're home.
1749
01:58:35,423 --> 01:58:36,924
This has a chance.
1750
01:58:37,091 --> 01:58:38,259
It's got to go.
1751
01:58:38,426 --> 01:58:40,845
This has a chance.
I think he's done it.
1752
01:58:43,765 --> 01:58:44,932
Little gust there.
1753
01:58:56,361 --> 01:58:57,445
Stay up!
1754
01:58:57,695 --> 01:58:58,863
Stay up!
1755
01:58:59,864 --> 01:59:01,032
Stay up!
1756
01:59:18,049 --> 01:59:20,218
You can still make par from there.
1757
01:59:20,385 --> 01:59:21,385
Right.
1758
01:59:21,636 --> 01:59:24,055
Take a drop, we'll make par, we'll tie.
1759
01:59:24,222 --> 01:59:27,475
I nutted that thing.
I mean, I nutted it.
1760
01:59:27,809 --> 01:59:30,228
I know. You put a hell of a move on it.
1761
01:59:30,395 --> 01:59:32,647
Little gust from the gods cost me.
1762
01:59:32,814 --> 01:59:34,732
We'll take our drop, tie...
1763
01:59:34,899 --> 01:59:36,150
...and win the playoff.
1764
01:59:36,317 --> 01:59:38,403
- I can make that shot!
- I know!
1765
01:59:38,569 --> 01:59:40,071
- But not now!
- Now!
1766
01:59:40,822 --> 01:59:43,408
I'm playing it from right here, now.
1767
01:59:44,909 --> 01:59:46,244
Make your par.
1768
01:59:47,078 --> 01:59:48,078
Now.
1769
01:59:48,246 --> 01:59:49,497
Take your drop.
1770
01:59:49,998 --> 01:59:51,082
Give me a ball.
1771
01:59:51,249 --> 01:59:52,917
Unbelievable.
1772
01:59:55,420 --> 01:59:57,422
I can't watch this.
1773
02:00:04,012 --> 02:00:05,096
Fourth shot.
1774
02:00:05,847 --> 02:00:10,268
I don't believe this. He could go
up, use the drop zone, make par...
1775
02:00:10,435 --> 02:00:13,688
...force a playoff with
Jacobsen and get out of here.
1776
02:00:13,855 --> 02:00:17,191
Easy, guys. He can still make 5.
He can still make 5.
1777
02:00:17,358 --> 02:00:19,444
We could still have a playoff.
1778
02:00:41,049 --> 02:00:42,133
Give me a ball.
1779
02:00:42,800 --> 02:00:43,801
Take a drop.
1780
02:00:44,802 --> 02:00:46,220
Give me a ball!
1781
02:00:47,055 --> 02:00:48,389
Just take your drop.
1782
02:00:55,480 --> 02:00:57,732
Dropping 5, hitting 6.
1783
02:00:57,899 --> 02:01:02,153
What's he doing? All he'd have to
do is walk up there and take a drop.
1784
02:01:02,320 --> 02:01:04,739
Make a 5, for crying out loud.
That's insane.
1785
02:01:05,239 --> 02:01:06,991
Somebody tackle him.
1786
02:01:09,410 --> 02:01:10,662
Give me a ball.
1787
02:01:23,007 --> 02:01:24,175
Dropping 7...
1788
02:01:24,342 --> 02:01:26,260
...hitting his 8th shot.
1789
02:01:32,016 --> 02:01:34,686
It's a miracle he lasted this long.
1790
02:01:42,610 --> 02:01:44,779
We ought to have
a camera on Simms.
1791
02:01:44,946 --> 02:01:46,531
He can't watch.
1792
02:01:46,698 --> 02:01:49,534
Someone tell him he doesn't
have to hit it from there.
1793
02:01:51,452 --> 02:01:54,038
He's dropping 9. He's hitting 10.
1794
02:02:07,135 --> 02:02:09,304
God, I'm going to faint.
1795
02:02:10,888 --> 02:02:12,056
Oh, Jesus.
1796
02:02:19,230 --> 02:02:23,401
This is the last ball in the bag.
This gets wet, we're disqualified.
1797
02:02:23,651 --> 02:02:25,403
I can make it across.
1798
02:02:25,570 --> 02:02:26,654
Then do it.
1799
02:02:26,821 --> 02:02:28,406
Quit fucking around.
1800
02:02:38,833 --> 02:02:40,084
He's crazy.
1801
02:02:41,502 --> 02:02:43,504
Oh, God. He's right.
1802
02:02:43,671 --> 02:02:46,841
You're right, Roy!
Just knock it on! Let her rip!
1803
02:02:47,008 --> 02:02:49,510
- You're losing it.
- I have lost it.
1804
02:02:50,178 --> 02:02:51,262
But so has he.
1805
02:02:54,432 --> 02:02:56,351
- He's crazy.
- So are you.
1806
02:02:56,601 --> 02:02:58,019
This is a 12.
1807
02:02:58,186 --> 02:03:01,939
He must start worrying about
qualifying for next year's Open.
1808
02:03:02,106 --> 02:03:03,358
He lost this one.
1809
02:03:03,524 --> 02:03:05,109
He'll end up selling...
1810
02:03:05,276 --> 02:03:08,780
...ties and renting golf
carts the rest of his life.
1811
02:03:08,946 --> 02:03:13,201
I don't know what I'm feeling. This is
the most painful thing I've ever seen.
1812
02:03:13,534 --> 02:03:17,455
He doesn't finish the
hole with this ball...
1813
02:03:17,622 --> 02:03:19,207
...he's disqualified.
1814
02:03:19,374 --> 02:03:22,377
Oh, my God. Dear Lord, please.
Dear Lord.
1815
02:03:46,317 --> 02:03:47,317
Get over.
1816
02:03:53,574 --> 02:03:54,574
He's over.
1817
02:04:22,437 --> 02:04:24,230
I can't believe it!
1818
02:04:26,816 --> 02:04:28,484
I love you!
1819
02:04:30,611 --> 02:04:32,011
My God!
1820
02:04:47,337 --> 02:04:49,505
- Unbelievable!
- Jesus Christ!
1821
02:04:49,672 --> 02:04:51,424
Did you see this?
1822
02:04:52,800 --> 02:04:55,345
That was a 12. That was a 12.
1823
02:04:55,637 --> 02:04:57,972
He was on the green
and in and out in 12.
1824
02:06:02,120 --> 02:06:04,205
Boss, you blew that one.
1825
02:06:04,372 --> 02:06:08,126
- I didn't come here to play for second.
- Simms'll always be second.
1826
02:06:12,964 --> 02:06:16,884
I'll meet you at the Winnebago!
I'll fire up the blender!
1827
02:06:20,471 --> 02:06:22,557
I just gave away the U.S. Open.
1828
02:06:28,313 --> 02:06:32,317
That was incredible! That was
the shot of the tournament!
1829
02:06:32,900 --> 02:06:35,236
I just gave away the U.S. Open.
1830
02:06:35,403 --> 02:06:36,738
It doesn't matter.
1831
02:06:37,572 --> 02:06:41,492
One time in my life I know the
safe play to hit and I still...
1832
02:06:41,659 --> 02:06:43,661
Shit, I still can't make myself do it.
1833
02:06:43,828 --> 02:06:44,824
It doesn't matter.
1834
02:06:44,924 --> 02:06:47,915
My whole career, my whole
life on the line...
1835
02:06:48,082 --> 02:06:50,585
I just made a 12 on the
last hole of the Open!
1836
02:06:50,752 --> 02:06:54,088
You sure did. It was the
greatest 12 of all time.
1837
02:06:54,255 --> 02:06:57,675
No one's going to remember the
Open 5 years from now, who won...
1838
02:06:57,842 --> 02:06:59,677
...but they'll remember your 12!
1839
02:06:59,844 --> 02:07:03,264
My, God, Roy, it was...
Well, it's immortal!
1840
02:07:03,431 --> 02:07:05,433
I am so proud of you!
1841
02:07:09,771 --> 02:07:11,773
I gotta hand it to you.
1842
02:07:11,939 --> 02:07:15,026
When you go down,
you go down in flames.
1843
02:07:16,361 --> 02:07:17,695
Never mind.
1844
02:07:18,279 --> 02:07:19,364
Kiss me.
1845
02:07:20,698 --> 02:07:23,201
- David, you got a minute?
- Not right now.
1846
02:07:24,702 --> 02:07:26,287
Can I have your autograph?
1847
02:07:26,454 --> 02:07:29,374
Sure, I always got time
for my fans, darling.
1848
02:07:29,540 --> 02:07:32,043
Don't you look cute. Come on under.
1849
02:07:39,217 --> 02:07:41,052
Nice par, David.
1850
02:08:27,532 --> 02:08:32,370
By finishing in the top 15 at the Open
you qualified to be in it next year.
1851
02:08:33,204 --> 02:08:34,288
Really?
1852
02:08:35,957 --> 02:08:37,875
I didn't know that.
1853
02:08:38,042 --> 02:08:42,630
With your game you could go back to the
qualifying school and go out on tour.
1854
02:08:45,049 --> 02:08:46,467
Then I wouldn't see you.
1855
02:08:47,385 --> 02:08:51,722
Actually, I picked up a whole
bunch of new clients at the Open.
1856
02:08:51,889 --> 02:08:55,810
Guys said if I could do that for you,
imagine what I could do for them.
1857
02:08:57,729 --> 02:09:00,231
There's a lot of head cases out there.
1858
02:09:01,566 --> 02:09:03,818
A man goes through what I have...
1859
02:09:03,985 --> 02:09:05,486
...he's supposed to learn something.
1860
02:09:05,653 --> 02:09:07,739
I'm trying to figure out what I learned.
1861
02:09:10,158 --> 02:09:12,076
You think I learned anything?
1862
02:09:12,994 --> 02:09:16,080
You learned a little discipline,
some self-control.
1863
02:09:16,247 --> 02:09:17,832
I learned...
1864
02:09:17,999 --> 02:09:22,003
...you can't just listen to your
heart, but also to your brain.
1865
02:09:22,170 --> 02:09:24,922
I'm learning how to listen
to that tuning fork...
1866
02:09:25,089 --> 02:09:27,258
...throw caution to the wind and...
1867
02:09:27,425 --> 02:09:30,762
...take crazy risks I never
thought were possible.
1868
02:09:31,095 --> 02:09:34,265
Come on, Molly, when did
you ever take a crazy risk?
1869
02:09:35,349 --> 02:09:37,268
I'm with you, Roy.
1870
02:09:40,438 --> 02:09:42,106
I'm with you.
1871
02:09:46,360 --> 02:09:47,695
You know...
1872
02:09:48,529 --> 02:09:50,531
...we could kiss...
1873
02:09:51,866 --> 02:09:54,702
You mean like a no harm, no foul kiss?
1874
02:09:54,869 --> 02:09:57,705
Yeah, kind of a semi-platonic little...
1875
02:09:58,539 --> 02:09:59,540
...sweet...
1876
02:09:59,707 --> 02:10:00,958
...innocent...
1877
02:10:01,125 --> 02:10:02,627
Good idea!
136376
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