All language subtitles for Telenovela s01e11 The Stalker.eng

Oh, I'm late!

Ohh.

Oh, come on.

Come on. Get out.
Get out. Get out.

- Achoo!
- Oh!

Ahh, oh.

This day could not get
any worse.

Oh, hey, Ana, you know how
I opened up your fan mail

and signed autographs for you?

Oh, yes.

Look, can you please stop
signing it "smell ya later"?

Doesn't really sound like me.

Sure.

Anyway,
this one has no postage,

and it's got, like,
creepy photos

and what appears to be
a mask of your face.

Both: Whoa.

Is that what I look like?

Ana,
you know what this means?

That I have a stalker?

Whoa.

I have a stalker!

- I know! Congrats.
- Oh, finally.

[flamenco music]

- sync and corrections by Zac-
- www.addic7ed.com -

Ugh. Ohh.

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_

_

_

_

_

Uh.

Oh, we're... Luis.

Cut.

Stay in places
until we fix it.

[clears throat]

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Well, this is awkward, huh?

I don't know.
Feels kind of nice.

Kind of like old times.

[chuckles]

Eh, you're right,
a little awkward.

Just things have been weird
between us

ever since you and Kelly
broke up,

and she said
that ridiculous thing.

What, that I'm too breathy?

No, there's still something
between you and me.

[laughs]

- Well, what if she's right?
- What?

Oh, um...

Are you two ready to do
the whole thing again?

I don't know, Luis.
This is moving a little fast.

You know, there's so much
baggage between us.

I'm not sure if I'm ready
to just jump back into it.

I'm talking about the shot.

Oh, the shot.

Yes, yes,
we're ready for the shot.

I know it sounds crazy,

and I'm not asking you to just
jump back into

a relationship with me,
but I...

I think there's still something
between us.

Maybe we should talk about it.

You-you mean, right...
right now?

Uh, okay.

How about we meet for coffee
tomorrow before work at 8:00.

If you show up, we talk.

If you don't, then no big deal.

We stay friends.
It won't be weird.

Okay,
that's a lot to think about.

But let's say I do come.

Can we make it 8:15?
I have something at 8:00.

Actually, if you do come,
can you make it 8:45?

That will give me time to shower
after I work out.

You weren't gonna shower
after you worked out?

You don't even know
if you're coming.

But if you are,
can you make it 9:00?

Yeah.

And... action.

[muffled upbeat music]

Is Isaac possessed?

No, he's working on
a new show idea.

He knows what it is,
but he won't tell us.

New show?
What's wrong with this one?

Roxie,
this is how telenovelas work.

You do a bunch of episodes,

and then you jump on
to the next show.

Oh.

I want to be on Isaac's
new show.

Ooh, maybe he's writing one
about a lawyer

who owns a vineyard.

Roxie, that's this show.

Oh, yeah.

That's why it was in my head.

If we want good parts,
then we have to make it happen.

Let's band together on this.

Come with me.

But be behind me.

[muffled upbeat music]

What?
What did I do?

I thought that was
a community toothbrush.

Well, we know you're working
on a new show.

We just want to remind you
of our many talents.

I can speak with
a British accent.

I can tap-dance.

Hey.

I know karate.

Yah!

Oh, yeah?
Look what I can do.

[grunting]

I can't believe Javi admitted
he still has feelings for you.

I know.

We were stuck in a parachute,

and I had the mother
of all wedgies.

Oh, but it was so romantic.

I don't like it.

Mark my words,
if Javi hurts you again

he will rue the day.

He will rue it.

Gael,
I've never seen you like this.

Drink it in.

Wow, if Gael's this upset,

I'm sure you're dying to tell me
what a horrible idea this is.

Actually, I can't believe
I'm gonna say this,

but maybe you should just
go for it.

Javi's not that kid you married.
He's really grown up now.

But what about James?

I thought that was still
a possibility someday.

So did I,
but he went to go find himself,

and I never heard
from him again.

That's so weird.

It's like he fell off
the face of the Earth.

Okay, your opinions
mean the world to me,

so tell me what
you're honestly thinking.

Because on the one hand,

Javi really hurt me
when we were married.

- He also...
- On the other hand,

we've both grown and matured
as people,

while on the third hand, how
much can people really change?

On the fourth hand,
the world could end tomorrow,

and I might end up
regretting it.

But on the fifth hand,
I could regret regretting it.

While on the sixth hand,
that guitar,

on the seventh hand,
the man jewelry,

on the eighth hand, those eyes,

while on the ninth hand,
I still have feelings for him.

Oh, my God.
You guys are right.

I have to go to this coffee.

Oh, what would I do
without you?

I love her,
but she's a lunatic.

[upbeat music]

Excuse me.

Do you mind switching tables?

It's just, I'm gonna meet
my ex-husband,

and we might rekindle
our romance,

and I don't want to do it
next to the trash can.

Thank you.

Oh, all right,
I just give this a wipe down.

Don't you worry.

Sure, okay.

I'll watch your laptop,
but don't be too long.

My ex-husband's gonna be here
in a few minutes.

Mimi,
he's obviously not coming.

I can't believe I fell
for his crap again.

I'm sorry, Ana.
Why don't you just leave?

I can't; I told some guy
I'd watch his laptop.

He's been in the bathroom
for so long.

Oh, someone stole it.
I'm out of here.

Ooh, I'm gonna kill Javi.

I'm gonna rip
those luscious lips

of that chiseled,
perfectly stubbled,

godlike face.

Yep, I said it.

I can't believe he would
ditch me like that.

I've got to figure out
what happened.

- Where is he?
- I don't know.

He didn't show up for work.

Really?

Oh, my God.
That explains everything.

Javi's sick.

That's why he didn't meet me
for coffee,

not 'cause he doesn't want to
get back together with me.

I knew there had to be a reason.

Maybe Javi has the flu.

I don't know, Ana.
He seemed okay yesterday,

but he was wearing
a super-deep V-neck,

so he could have got a cold.

Sweetie,
this may be hard to admit,

but maybe he changed his mind.

No, it can't be that.
There has to be another reason.

Because if it's just that
the man who deep down

I've been in love with
for the past three years

decided I wasn't worth it,

it would break my heart
into a million pieces.

Maybe my stalker took him.

Totally.

Yep, your stalker
kidnapped him.

Oh, this makes so much sense.

I think we all know
what the obvious next step is.

You said you had
a life-or-death emergency.

Yes, yes.

My ex-husband asked me
to coffee

to talk about our relationship,
which is a very big deal,

because we just moved on
from our divorce,

and he didn't even show up.

Write that down.

Good luck with your love life,
ma'am.

Wh... hey.

Wait.

I can't believe he didn't
take me seriously.

I may just play a cop on TV,

but this case
has some holes in it.

Ana, sweetie, maybe it was a
little too fast to jump to stalker.

Or maybe Javi
is bound and gagged

and being tortured somewhere.

Okay, look,
we've got to figure out

who my stalker is
in case they have Javi.

You guys in?

I've never believed
in anything more in my life.

All right.

Are we protecting her
or enabling her?

A little of both.

Okay, you guys.

We are, like,
99% sure Javi was kidnapped.

[all gasp]

Mm-hmm.

Now, he was last seen wearing...
actually, I'm not sure,

so I'm just gonna take
a wild guess and say jeans

that are way too tight
and a lot of hair product.

Oh, and the sparkly blouse.

- Mm, that was yesterday.
- Oh, yeah.

We need to get this
on milk cartons ASAP.

Okay?

I know, it's the most
respectable photo I found.

We've got to figure out
who my stalker is

by CSI'ing
all the clues we have.

Here's everything
my stalker sent me.

Well, I haven't figured out
the identity of your stalker,

but they made a collage
of your Target receipts.

How many throw pillows
do you need?

You only have one couch.

Hey, Roxie,
this looks really elaborate.

What have you found out?

Found out?
Not much.

But how cool is this?

I made a flower.

Ana, this is a lot of stuff.

Can you think of anyone who
would hold a grudge against you?

No, people love me.

Uh, my evil twin sister,

when you proved that she was
out to get me.

Kate from "Scientifico Sexy"

when you beat her
at her own game.

My ex-husband
when you made sure

that we didn't get back
together.

Your ex-boyfriend/boss
whose heart you broke.

Plus, that guy that you cut
off on your way in this morning,

he said you were bitchy.

Wait, that was me.
Sorry.

Okay, okay, so I may have
stepped on a few toes,

but we've been at this
for hours,

and all we have to show for it
is that I should wear a bra

when I take out the trash.

Guys,
I guess I have to admit it.

Javi's not kidnapped.

He just probably decided
he didn't want to be with me.

I just wasn't ready to face it.

- Ana.
- No, no, it's okay.

I'm just gonna go home
and hang out with that bird

that won't leave my condo.

Hey, hey, hey, Isaac.

Since you've been working
on a new show idea,

it would be very irresponsible
of me

not to show you
my special skills.

Mime. Really?

Okay, that's not bad.

Wait.
[coughs]

I got more stuff.

I feel so bad for Ana.

She's probably facedown
in a chicken potpie by now.

Okay, where do you think Javi
really is?

Oh, okay,
I'm just gonna say it.

I think he might have gotten
back together with Kelly.

Are we saying that
out loud now?

'Cause I've been thinking it
all day.

I wish for Ana's sake
it wasn't true,

but, I mean, come on.

Kelly is amazing.

Right? Saving all those orphans
from that burning building.

And she's in incredible shape from
her award-winning samba dancing.

And she worked in a hospital
saving lives.

Hospital?

Samba dancing?

Orphans.

Do you know what this means?

Kelly's way too busy.
She needs to unplug.

No, Kelly has been copying

everything that Ana's
been doing in her shows.

But was Ana ever
a cross-dressing

cruise ship director?

[both gasp]

Does this mean
the stalker is...

Kelly,
what are you doing here?

I heard you were looking
for Javi.

Well, I found him.

[grunting]

Yes, bound and gagged.
I knew it.

I'm sorry.
Did you find him like that?

Or did you do that to him?

Oh, no, my bad.
Yeah, I totally did that to him.

Oh.

Oh.

So wait.
You're my stalker?

We prefer
unrequited best friend.

Why is this happening?
I don't even know you.

Yes, but I know you.

See, my parents worked
all the time.

Literally.
They owned a 24 Hour Fitness.

So I was raised by babysitters,

and they all watched
your telenovelas.

In a way, the one constant
in my life was you.

Aww.

Kelly, just let Ana go.

She doesn't have anything
to do with this.

Ana has everything
to do with this.

You're just a pawn, pretty boy.

Ooh, hoo-hoo.

I don't understand.
What do you want?

To be you, of course, which
is why I copied your shows.

I followed you everywhere.

I went through your trash.

P.S.,
you should really recycle more,

if not for us,
then for the children.

- They are our future.
- Why are you agreeing with her?

Because she has us tied up.
Plus, she has a point.

I did whatever I could
just to be you,

including date Javi,

but it was pretty clear that
he still had feelings for you,

that I would never be enough
for him.

And then I realized
that no matter what I did,

I could actually never
really be you.

So I might have gone
a little bit crazy.

But now I have a new plan.

To let us go? Great.
No harm, no foul.

- We keep this between us.
- No, if I can't be Ana,

I'm gonna be Ana's best friend.
Do you want to be best friends?

Yes.

Yes!

High five.

Low five.

So what do you want to do first,
bestie?

Okay.

Yeah, that was so fun,
and not terrifying at all.

Well, I guess that means
we're best friends now.

You know what?

I should probably call Mimi
and tell her

she's no longer my best friend.

Yes, she has a right to know.

Yeah, you're right.
I'll go get your phone.

Okay.

Just in case
I don't survive this,

I want to be buried
in my black jeans.

This might be
our last conversation,

and that's what you want
to talk about?

Besides, those jeans have
too many pockets.

Yeah,
but they're so flattering.

No, they're not.
They hit you weird on the hips.

- Really?
- Here you go.

Heh-heh, thanks, girlfriend.

All right, dialing Mimi.

[telephone rings]

Guys, guys, it's her.
It's her.

Ana. Oh, thank God.
We've been trying to call you.

We know who your stalker is.
It's...

Kelly!
I'm here at my condo with Kelly.

She's my best friend now.

I no longer want to be
your best friend, Mimi,

Because I'm with Kelly now.

So I hope you can take the hint.

Okay.

There, see?

We have to help her.
She's in danger.

She would never say she didn't
want to be my best friend.

Sometimes people
just grow apart.

Good luck with your girlfriend.

The police aren't gonna
help us?

Then we've got to do it
ourselves.

Is there anyone else
we can call for help?

There's no time.
She's in danger.

We have to go now.
Let's save Ana.

[together] Yeah.

I've got to use the bathroom.

- Oh, me too.
- Yep.

Okay,
everyone to the bathroom,

then we go save Ana.

[together] Yeah.

Now that Mimi's out
and you're in,

we should go out and celebrate
in public,

where a lot of people
can see us.

- Sure.
- Okay.

We should probably
kill Javi first, though,

and then we can skedaddle.

Both: What?

Well, he's the only thing
that could come between us.

Wait, how do you feel about
Sandy Bullock?

Oh,
she's a national treasure.

Oh, great.

Well, then, yeah,
he's definitely the only thing

that could come between us.

- Ahh!
- No.

[both grunting]

Oh, my God, it's like you're
the exact same strength as me.

I've been doing
your exercise video for years.

- Oh, the abs?
- Yeah.

It's totally working for you.

I know.

Argh.

Ahh!

Not the face, please.

No, no.

No, if you're gonna kill him,
you have to kill me first.

No, no, please, please,
please, please.

So what's the plan?

We go in there,
we take out the kidnappers,

we rescue Javi, and then we all
go out for ice cream.

- What about Ana?
- Sure, if we have time.

The strongest, baddest person
should go up there first.

[together] Mimi.

Me? Oh, you're right.
You all are wusses.

[both grunting]

Ana, Ana...

Come on, Ana.
You can take her.

No, don't... don't say that.

This is my weapon,
a wine backpack?

This is the only thing
I had in my trunk.

Have you ever used it?

All the time.

It's got a cheese port
and two wine glasses.

Oh, I love it.
That's incredible.

- Where did you buy it?
- Okay.

Ahh!

Wait. Wait.

Are you really gonna kill
your best friend?

Well, we've only been best
friends for, like, 20 minutes.

I'll get over it.

Argh!
Ahh!

[seagull squawking]

What is this?

Ahh!
[both gasp]

Let's go save Ana.

- Whoo!
- Oh!

Or that could happen.

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both: Told ya.

Hey, that was pretty scary
stuff back there, huh?

I didn't know how crazy
Kelly is.

You know what was crazy?

You were gonna let her kill you
to protect me.

Look, Javi,
I really need to know

so I can move on either way.

Were you gonna show up
to coffee?

Yes, I was.

The only thing that could have
kept me away from you

was a knife-wielding maniac.

Although I was running late,

because I was parallel parking,
and someone was watching,

but I was gonna be there.

I can't stop thinking about you,
Ana, about us.

Me too.

How do you have your guitar?

I always have it.
I actually wrote you a song.

I was gonna sing it for you
at the coffee shop.

I mean, I know how much
you hate my guitar,

so I don't have to;
I really don't have to.

Sing the damn song, Javi.

[light guitar music]

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_

I do.

James.

That's right, Ana.
I'm back from the dead.

You died?

I fell off a mountain.

I was buried in snow for days.
It took me weeks to recover.

Weren't you wondering why
you didn't hear from me?

The first thing I did
when I got back to Miami

was get me a snow cone.

Ana, the only thing
that kept me alive out there

was the thought
of getting back to you.

Ana, what does this mean?

I don't know.

[dramatic music]

- sync and corrections by Zac-
- www.addic7ed.com -

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