Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,542 --> 00:00:03,704
I'm so tired.
2
00:00:03,819 --> 00:00:06,411
I stayed up until 3 AM
web ending.
3
00:00:06,510 --> 00:00:07,859
That suspicious lump
on my arm,
4
00:00:07,971 --> 00:00:09,573
turned out to just
be a new muscle.
5
00:00:09,681 --> 00:00:11,511
I'm exhausted too.
6
00:00:11,633 --> 00:00:13,867
I stayed up all night
cleaning up my make-up drawer.
7
00:00:14,020 --> 00:00:17,561
I had to make some serious
*** choices about some lip liners.
8
00:00:17,663 --> 00:00:19,100
I'm tired too.
9
00:00:19,103 --> 00:00:21,002
See, after work last night,
I went home and made tacos
10
00:00:21,004 --> 00:00:23,105
for the the kids and then did
about six loads of laundry.
11
00:00:23,107 --> 00:00:25,006
Finally got to bed at 2:00
and then at 3:00,
12
00:00:25,008 --> 00:00:27,542
we all woke up with
food poisoning from the tacos.
13
00:00:27,544 --> 00:00:29,377
Did I win this game?
14
00:00:29,379 --> 00:00:31,213
Mimi, you seem
really overwhelmed.
15
00:00:31,215 --> 00:00:33,081
Are you gonna be able to come
to my charity thing tomorrow?
16
00:00:33,083 --> 00:00:34,316
Oh, I wouldn't miss it.
17
00:00:34,318 --> 00:00:35,817
I know how
important it is to you.
18
00:00:35,819 --> 00:00:38,153
I hope you all
can come tomorrow.
19
00:00:38,155 --> 00:00:41,456
My charity rebuilds homes
for displaced families.
20
00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:44,359
It's called
Raise Your Roof.
21
00:00:44,361 --> 00:00:47,229
- And at Raise Your Roof--
- Stop doing that hand thing.
22
00:00:47,231 --> 00:00:49,831
I can't. I'm the spokesperson.
It's in my contract.
23
00:00:49,833 --> 00:00:54,569
Okay, who's gonna help me
Raise Your Roof?
24
00:00:54,571 --> 00:00:56,037
Come on,
get them up.
25
00:00:56,039 --> 00:00:58,473
Up!
Okay, we need coffee.
26
00:00:58,475 --> 00:00:59,674
Yeah, well,
Paulo the assistant
27
00:00:59,676 --> 00:01:01,176
got in
a skateboarding accident.
28
00:01:01,178 --> 00:01:04,112
Oh, my God.
Then who's gonna get us coffee?
29
00:01:04,114 --> 00:01:05,614
All: Not it!
30
00:01:05,616 --> 00:01:08,583
Oh, yeah, sure.
Now you guys raise your hands.
31
00:01:08,585 --> 00:01:10,085
Well, someone's got to
get us coffee,
32
00:01:10,087 --> 00:01:12,854
and there's only one way
to figure it out.
33
00:01:12,856 --> 00:01:13,889
Belly Jenga.
34
00:01:13,891 --> 00:01:17,792
[playful music]
35
00:01:17,794 --> 00:01:19,828
Okay, losing team
buys coffee for everyone.
36
00:01:19,830 --> 00:01:21,263
And you guys
are going down.
37
00:01:21,265 --> 00:01:23,832
I sew all day
so my dexterity is off the hook.
38
00:01:23,834 --> 00:01:25,767
- [snores]
- [all gasping]
39
00:01:25,769 --> 00:01:27,235
30 seconds
until the next sleep burp.
40
00:01:27,237 --> 00:01:28,236
Make your move.
41
00:01:28,238 --> 00:01:31,706
42
00:01:31,708 --> 00:01:33,775
[relieved sighing]
43
00:01:33,777 --> 00:01:35,644
- Okay, all right.
- Okay, Ana,
44
00:01:35,646 --> 00:01:37,646
no one's expecting us
to win this game.
45
00:01:37,648 --> 00:01:39,047
- But?
- No, that was it.
46
00:01:39,049 --> 00:01:40,382
We always lose.
47
00:01:40,384 --> 00:01:41,716
That's why they put us
on the same team.
48
00:01:41,718 --> 00:01:43,151
'Cause they know
they're gonna win.
49
00:01:43,153 --> 00:01:44,386
All right.
We're gonna prove them wrong.
50
00:01:44,388 --> 00:01:45,453
Mm, that one's
load-bearing.
51
00:01:45,455 --> 00:01:47,055
Oh, my God.
52
00:01:47,057 --> 00:01:48,223
You played an architect
in one Tylenol commercial,
53
00:01:48,225 --> 00:01:49,591
and you think
you know everything.
54
00:01:49,593 --> 00:01:50,959
- Hey, let me do it.
- No, not that one.
55
00:01:50,961 --> 00:01:52,327
It's this one right--
56
00:01:52,329 --> 00:01:54,963
- [cheering]
- Jenga!
57
00:01:54,965 --> 00:01:56,231
Jenga.
58
00:01:56,233 --> 00:01:59,167
[flamenco music]
59
00:01:59,169 --> 00:02:02,323
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
60
00:02:07,544 --> 00:02:09,444
All right.
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
61
00:02:09,446 --> 00:02:11,479
Which one's mine?
62
00:02:11,481 --> 00:02:15,417
Caf? con leche.
Caf? con leche, caf? con leche.
63
00:02:15,419 --> 00:02:17,419
Okay, did everybody order
caf? con leche?
64
00:02:17,421 --> 00:02:18,753
Yea-- No.
65
00:02:18,755 --> 00:02:21,690
I lost the sheet
with all the orders on it.
66
00:02:21,692 --> 00:02:23,358
By the way,
I don't know why
67
00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:25,093
I had to help pay for these
when you're the one
68
00:02:25,095 --> 00:02:26,127
that lost the Belly Jenga.
69
00:02:26,129 --> 00:02:27,829
Uh, we were a team.
70
00:02:27,831 --> 00:02:29,731
Okay, a bad team,
but that's not a surprise.
71
00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:31,933
We can't even high-five
the right way.
72
00:02:31,935 --> 00:02:33,068
That's ridiculous.
73
00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:35,770
- Come here.
- Oh, God.
74
00:02:35,772 --> 00:02:38,640
[gasps]
Kate and Diego.
75
00:02:38,642 --> 00:02:40,141
What are they
doing here?
76
00:02:40,143 --> 00:02:41,977
I can't stand them
in their stupid show
77
00:02:41,979 --> 00:02:43,845
"Cientificos Sexy."
78
00:02:43,847 --> 00:02:46,081
Sexy scientists,
what is that even about?
79
00:02:46,083 --> 00:02:48,783
- Sexy scientists.
- Like those are even real.
80
00:02:48,785 --> 00:02:51,753
God, I hate Kate.
She is so fake.
81
00:02:51,755 --> 00:02:54,489
- Kate!
both: - Muah!
82
00:02:54,491 --> 00:02:57,092
- Ana.
- Diego.
83
00:02:57,094 --> 00:02:59,227
- Javi.
- You look amazing.
84
00:02:59,229 --> 00:03:02,831
You look-- you.
85
00:03:02,833 --> 00:03:04,399
You know,
we just came by to see Gloria
86
00:03:04,401 --> 00:03:05,800
our old make-up lady.
87
00:03:05,802 --> 00:03:07,469
She left our show
because she said that
88
00:03:07,471 --> 00:03:09,304
we were too easy
to make look good.
89
00:03:09,306 --> 00:03:10,472
Yeah, she came
to work here
90
00:03:10,474 --> 00:03:12,073
because she loves
a big challenge.
91
00:03:12,075 --> 00:03:14,509
Hmm, you know,
we haven't seen you two
92
00:03:14,511 --> 00:03:17,379
since your marriage
so publicly crumbled.
93
00:03:17,381 --> 00:03:21,983
Crumbled?
No, we had an amazing divorce.
94
00:03:21,985 --> 00:03:23,618
- The best.
- Wish we could do it again.
95
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:26,087
- Yeah.
- Diego, can you imagine if...
96
00:03:26,089 --> 00:03:29,591
- we got divorced?
- No, I can't even imagine.
97
00:03:29,593 --> 00:03:31,660
[gasps]
Oh, I just imagined it.
98
00:03:31,662 --> 00:03:35,096
But that'll never happen
because I love you so much.
99
00:03:35,098 --> 00:03:38,566
No, no,
I love you so much, mi amor.
100
00:03:38,568 --> 00:03:44,539
Oh, okay.
Oh, Javi, do something.
101
00:03:44,541 --> 00:03:46,808
Not that.
102
00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:48,143
Not that.
103
00:03:48,145 --> 00:03:49,678
I am so late.
104
00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:51,746
Did you get pulled over
for being too beautiful?
105
00:03:51,748 --> 00:03:53,348
I hate when that happens.
106
00:03:53,350 --> 00:03:56,284
That's why
I make this face when I drive.
107
00:03:56,286 --> 00:03:57,752
Actually,
I was at the gym
108
00:03:57,754 --> 00:04:00,422
looking for this super cute guy
I met the other day.
109
00:04:00,424 --> 00:04:02,190
We had
the most amazing connection.
110
00:04:02,192 --> 00:04:06,861
- Hey.
- Hey.
111
00:04:06,863 --> 00:04:09,597
- Soul mates.
- We have so much in common.
112
00:04:09,599 --> 00:04:11,199
We both played soccer
in college,
113
00:04:11,201 --> 00:04:13,435
both our fathers
made us play soccer in college.
114
00:04:13,437 --> 00:04:15,170
That's great.
What does he do?
115
00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:16,671
I don't know.
Before we could talk about it,
116
00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:17,839
we were torn apart.
117
00:04:17,841 --> 00:04:19,541
Oh, my God.
What happened?
118
00:04:19,543 --> 00:04:20,775
Oh, his spin class
was starting.
119
00:04:20,777 --> 00:04:22,277
Oh.
120
00:04:22,279 --> 00:04:25,747
[dramatic music]
121
00:04:25,749 --> 00:04:27,615
Ooh, "Cientificos Sexy."
122
00:04:27,617 --> 00:04:29,818
I love that show.
123
00:04:29,820 --> 00:04:33,054
I did it! I did it!
I found a cure for cancer!
124
00:04:33,056 --> 00:04:36,091
- [flamenco music]
- [moaning]
125
00:04:37,794 --> 00:04:39,661
I can't get over
how dumb that name is.
126
00:04:39,663 --> 00:04:42,130
It's-- it doesn't mean anything.
127
00:04:42,132 --> 00:04:45,033
What does
"Las Leyes de Pasi?n" mean?
128
00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:47,135
Seriously?
Laws of passion.
129
00:04:47,137 --> 00:04:48,903
I'm Passion.
I'm a lawyer.
130
00:04:48,905 --> 00:04:51,706
[gasps]
It works on so many levels.
131
00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:54,642
Yeah.
132
00:04:54,644 --> 00:04:56,144
God, I hate Diego.
133
00:04:56,146 --> 00:04:57,979
That dude does not even know
how to use a microscope.
134
00:04:57,981 --> 00:04:59,614
Oh, and you do?
135
00:04:59,616 --> 00:05:01,182
I played a scientist
in an orange juice commercial.
136
00:05:01,184 --> 00:05:03,385
I do a lot
of commercials.
137
00:05:03,387 --> 00:05:05,053
Javi, you just got to
let it go.
138
00:05:05,055 --> 00:05:06,821
Oh, you hate them
just as much as I do.
139
00:05:06,823 --> 00:05:08,323
You gonna tell me
it didn't drive you crazy
140
00:05:08,325 --> 00:05:09,924
the way the were rubbing
our divorce in our faces?
141
00:05:09,926 --> 00:05:11,760
Yes, but planning
this charity event
142
00:05:11,762 --> 00:05:13,428
has made me realize
there are bigger problems
143
00:05:13,430 --> 00:05:14,863
in the world
than those jerks.
144
00:05:14,865 --> 00:05:17,065
I'm in a really Zen place
right now.
145
00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:19,100
I even downloaded
a meditation app,
146
00:05:19,102 --> 00:05:21,336
and it has a gong that goes off
every time you need to meditate.
147
00:05:21,338 --> 00:05:22,937
[gong ringing]
148
00:05:22,939 --> 00:05:24,706
I just, uh, haven't figured out
how to shut it off,
149
00:05:24,708 --> 00:05:25,840
and it goes off a lot.
150
00:05:25,842 --> 00:05:27,075
Sometimes in
the middle of the night.
151
00:05:27,077 --> 00:05:28,343
Yeah, it actually gets
really stressful.
152
00:05:28,345 --> 00:05:30,211
But the point is,
you've got to let go
153
00:05:30,213 --> 00:05:31,513
of this Diego and Kate thing.
154
00:05:31,515 --> 00:05:33,715
- Everyone else has.
- Oh, really?
155
00:05:33,717 --> 00:05:36,050
Hey, Mimi.
Kate and Diego.
156
00:05:36,052 --> 00:05:38,520
Kate and Diego?
Ugh, they are human garbage.
157
00:05:38,522 --> 00:05:40,522
They come over to our house,
talk to our make-up lady?
158
00:05:40,524 --> 00:05:41,723
[scoffs]
Hell no.
159
00:05:41,725 --> 00:05:43,491
That's the fire
I was looking for.
160
00:05:43,493 --> 00:05:45,727
Uh, is anybody else concerned
I'm the level-headed one here?
161
00:05:45,729 --> 00:05:47,095
Well, frankly,
I don't think it's healthy
162
00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:48,730
to be level-headed
about Kate.
163
00:05:48,732 --> 00:05:50,432
She's always trying
to one-up you.
164
00:05:50,434 --> 00:05:52,934
- You get a part on the show--
- She gets her own show.
165
00:05:52,936 --> 00:05:54,302
You get
a shampoo commercial--
166
00:05:54,304 --> 00:05:55,603
She starts
her own shampoo line.
167
00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:56,938
You marry
your sexy co-star.
168
00:05:56,940 --> 00:05:58,807
She marries
her even sexier co-star.
169
00:05:58,809 --> 00:06:01,576
Oh, hey.
Diego's not sexier than me,
170
00:06:01,578 --> 00:06:03,178
and he's way older.
171
00:06:03,180 --> 00:06:05,647
Yeah, but he's
got that thing--that...
172
00:06:05,649 --> 00:06:07,849
Mm-hmm, it's like--
[smacking lips].
173
00:06:07,851 --> 00:06:10,618
Oh, that man is like
yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy.
174
00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:14,055
And I'm not
nyum, nyum, nyum, nyum?
175
00:06:14,057 --> 00:06:16,658
all: No.
176
00:06:16,660 --> 00:06:19,127
[laughter]
177
00:06:19,129 --> 00:06:21,296
Rodrigo,
you've got a little lip slip.
178
00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:25,433
I've got to fire
my new mustache guy.
179
00:06:25,435 --> 00:06:27,001
- Now, Armando Vega--
- Muwahahaha.
180
00:06:27,003 --> 00:06:28,837
Now that's a mustache.
181
00:06:28,839 --> 00:06:30,472
Well, why don't you just
grow one of your own?
182
00:06:30,474 --> 00:06:32,106
I've tried,
but it grows in weird.
183
00:06:32,108 --> 00:06:35,109
[menacing music]
184
00:06:35,111 --> 00:06:36,811
You should call
your mustache Ana
185
00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:38,980
because it can't hold on
to a man to save its life.
186
00:06:38,982 --> 00:06:42,116
[laughs softly]
Did she hear me?
187
00:06:42,118 --> 00:06:43,985
She left.
188
00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:46,488
Let's go find her
so I can say it again.
189
00:06:46,490 --> 00:06:53,428
[upbeat music]
190
00:06:53,430 --> 00:06:56,865
Oh, I'm so happy
everybody showed up.
191
00:06:56,867 --> 00:06:58,266
I can't wait
to get started.
192
00:06:58,268 --> 00:07:00,235
It's gonna be
a nice and relaxing day.
193
00:07:00,237 --> 00:07:01,569
Relaxing?
194
00:07:01,571 --> 00:07:03,271
You realize we're
building a house, right?
195
00:07:03,273 --> 00:07:06,040
Yeah, this is a vacation
in comparison to my normal life.
196
00:07:06,042 --> 00:07:07,709
I never have
time to myself,
197
00:07:07,711 --> 00:07:09,744
but today I'm not
gonna take care of anybody.
198
00:07:09,746 --> 00:07:15,383
- This is my Mimi-me day.
- Hmm.
199
00:07:15,385 --> 00:07:17,252
All white?
Risky.
200
00:07:17,254 --> 00:07:19,821
Well, you know I can wear
all white and never get dirty.
201
00:07:19,823 --> 00:07:21,623
White power!
202
00:07:21,625 --> 00:07:23,725
I've told you before, Ana,
you can not say that.
203
00:07:23,727 --> 00:07:24,926
It's like
when you had the party
204
00:07:24,928 --> 00:07:27,729
and the invitation said,
"Whites only."
205
00:07:27,731 --> 00:07:30,465
No, it was
a white party.
206
00:07:30,467 --> 00:07:32,667
Oh, you think
that's why Diddy didn't show up?
207
00:07:32,669 --> 00:07:35,737
- Oh.
- Ana, look.
208
00:07:35,739 --> 00:07:39,173
uh, uh, watch that thing
209
00:07:39,175 --> 00:07:41,276
- Kate.
- Diego.
210
00:07:41,278 --> 00:07:43,578
And the entire
"Cientificos Sexy" cast.
211
00:07:43,580 --> 00:07:46,080
uh, uh, uh uh
212
00:07:46,082 --> 00:07:47,649
Damn, those are
some sexy scientists.
213
00:07:47,651 --> 00:07:50,018
[all mutter in agreement]
214
00:07:53,443 --> 00:07:56,111
[acoustic Latin music]
215
00:07:56,113 --> 00:07:59,648
216
00:07:59,650 --> 00:08:03,352
It's you...
from the gym.
217
00:08:03,354 --> 00:08:11,293
218
00:08:14,031 --> 00:08:17,132
It's like looking
in a mirror.
219
00:08:17,134 --> 00:08:20,169
220
00:08:20,171 --> 00:08:23,672
- Kate.
- Ana.
221
00:08:23,674 --> 00:08:26,675
[playful music]
222
00:08:26,677 --> 00:08:29,711
[overlapping chatter]
223
00:08:34,084 --> 00:08:35,584
Kate, what are you
doing here?
224
00:08:35,586 --> 00:08:37,553
I read about
this little charity of yours,
225
00:08:37,555 --> 00:08:39,121
and I assumed
you needed some help.
226
00:08:39,123 --> 00:08:40,689
- Well, we're good.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
227
00:08:40,691 --> 00:08:42,391
Did you not want extra help
228
00:08:42,393 --> 00:08:44,793
to build this house
for a needy family?
229
00:08:44,795 --> 00:08:45,994
'Cause we can leave.
230
00:08:45,996 --> 00:08:48,730
[laughs softly]
Don't be silly.
231
00:08:48,732 --> 00:08:52,401
Grab a hard hat.
Or don't.
232
00:08:54,572 --> 00:08:57,973
Armando Vega--
from one TV villain to another,
233
00:08:57,975 --> 00:09:00,175
- I just want to--
- You play a villain?
234
00:09:00,177 --> 00:09:03,545
- Yeah.
- I don't see any mustache.
235
00:09:03,547 --> 00:09:05,347
Well, I, um--
I use a fake.
236
00:09:05,349 --> 00:09:09,685
A lip wig?
[laughter]
237
00:09:09,687 --> 00:09:12,421
[intense Latin music]
238
00:09:12,423 --> 00:09:14,723
All right, come on you guys.
Bring it in.
239
00:09:14,725 --> 00:09:17,059
Look, those sexy sons of bitches
are going down.
240
00:09:17,061 --> 00:09:18,193
all: Yeah.
241
00:09:18,195 --> 00:09:20,696
Yes, yes, okay.
All right.
242
00:09:20,698 --> 00:09:22,331
Today we're gonna build
a beautiful home
243
00:09:22,333 --> 00:09:23,332
for the Torres family.
244
00:09:23,334 --> 00:09:24,967
- Yeah.
- Hi.
245
00:09:24,969 --> 00:09:25,968
- Arriba, arriba.
- Hi.
246
00:09:25,970 --> 00:09:27,469
[speaking Spanish]
247
00:09:27,471 --> 00:09:28,604
And in the process,
we are going to show up
248
00:09:28,606 --> 00:09:30,072
those charity crashers.
249
00:09:30,074 --> 00:09:31,506
Okay, we're gonna be
better painters,
250
00:09:31,508 --> 00:09:33,742
- better builders--
- Better mustachers.
251
00:09:33,744 --> 00:09:34,977
Sure, sure,
252
00:09:34,979 --> 00:09:36,378
Just better teammates,
all right?
253
00:09:36,380 --> 00:09:37,646
On three,
here we go.
254
00:09:37,648 --> 00:09:38,680
One, two, three--
255
00:09:38,682 --> 00:09:40,849
[incohesive cheering]
256
00:09:40,851 --> 00:09:43,051
We are gonna
work on that later.
257
00:09:43,053 --> 00:09:45,053
Hey, so--so what can I do
to destroy Kate and Diego?
258
00:09:45,055 --> 00:09:46,288
Calm down.
259
00:09:46,290 --> 00:09:47,623
This is supposed to be
your Mimi-me day.
260
00:09:47,625 --> 00:09:48,957
- All right.
- I'm not gonna let
261
00:09:48,959 --> 00:09:51,059
the "Cientificos Sexy" cast
ruin that for you.
262
00:09:51,061 --> 00:09:52,828
Why don't you download
the meditation app?
263
00:09:52,830 --> 00:09:54,229
You just take
a couple breaths and relax.
264
00:09:54,231 --> 00:09:55,731
- All right.
- Hey!
265
00:09:55,733 --> 00:09:57,199
And if you figure out
how to turn off that gong noise,
266
00:09:57,201 --> 00:09:58,667
let me know.
267
00:09:58,669 --> 00:10:01,570
Uh, hi, everybody.
Can I get your attention?
268
00:10:01,572 --> 00:10:03,438
[laughs softly]
Thank you all
269
00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:05,007
for coming out today.
270
00:10:05,009 --> 00:10:07,576
Uh, just one quick announcement
before we get started.
271
00:10:07,578 --> 00:10:10,412
Today's gonna be
very hot, so--
272
00:10:15,286 --> 00:10:17,853
Okay, I was gonna say
"Stay hydrated,"
273
00:10:17,855 --> 00:10:19,755
but that works too.
274
00:10:19,757 --> 00:10:22,591
- [both smacking lips]
- Diego.
275
00:10:22,593 --> 00:10:25,394
[both purring]
Seriously? I-I'm right here.
276
00:10:26,563 --> 00:10:28,497
both: Mmm.
277
00:10:28,499 --> 00:10:31,667
Julio,
what are you doing here?
278
00:10:31,669 --> 00:10:33,702
I just started
on "Cientificos Sexy."
279
00:10:33,704 --> 00:10:36,805
I'm the handsome new janitor
with a shocking secret.
280
00:10:36,807 --> 00:10:38,140
Did they tell you
what it is?
281
00:10:38,142 --> 00:10:41,443
- No.
- They never do.
282
00:10:41,445 --> 00:10:42,911
Look, I can't be seen
with you.
283
00:10:42,913 --> 00:10:45,280
Try to forget
I exist.
284
00:10:45,282 --> 00:10:48,684
- What the hell?
- What am I gonna do?
285
00:10:48,686 --> 00:10:50,819
We're on rival shows.
We can't be together.
286
00:10:50,821 --> 00:10:52,220
You're star-crossed lovers.
287
00:10:52,222 --> 00:10:53,989
The Capulets
and the Montagues--
288
00:10:53,991 --> 00:10:58,026
Romeo and--
huh, also Romeo.
289
00:11:01,865 --> 00:11:03,999
[drill whirs]
290
00:11:04,001 --> 00:11:05,000
We did it!
291
00:11:05,002 --> 00:11:07,502
[cheering]
292
00:11:07,504 --> 00:11:09,504
Now that we finally figured out
how to turn on the tools,
293
00:11:09,506 --> 00:11:11,073
let's do this.
294
00:11:11,075 --> 00:11:14,042
[upbeat music]
295
00:11:14,044 --> 00:11:15,877
- That's not how you do it.
- All right, you be the boss.
296
00:11:15,879 --> 00:11:17,879
You go in and out,
in and out.
297
00:11:17,881 --> 00:11:20,248
It's backwards and forwards
first of all, all right?
298
00:11:20,250 --> 00:11:22,584
- How'd these two ever have sex?
- [scoffs]
299
00:11:22,586 --> 00:11:24,119
Stop it.
Stop it.
300
00:11:24,121 --> 00:11:28,256
rolling my sleeves
up to here
301
00:11:28,258 --> 00:11:32,227
to make you smile
ear to ear
302
00:11:32,229 --> 00:11:33,662
girl I've been
hitting that
303
00:11:33,664 --> 00:11:35,564
hitting that
graveyard shift
304
00:11:35,566 --> 00:11:37,799
you won't find another one
built for this
305
00:11:37,801 --> 00:11:40,035
-
dirty work
-
ooh
306
00:11:40,037 --> 00:11:44,139
dirty work
307
00:11:44,141 --> 00:11:45,707
I don't know why
he's so cocky.
308
00:11:45,709 --> 00:11:48,210
Everything above his lip
and below his nose if fake.
309
00:11:48,212 --> 00:11:49,544
How do you know?
310
00:11:49,546 --> 00:11:50,846
I've been in this business
a long time.
311
00:11:50,848 --> 00:11:53,815
I can spot a fake body part
a mile away.
312
00:11:53,817 --> 00:11:56,485
- Like his mustache?
- And your nose.
313
00:11:56,487 --> 00:11:59,187
- I had a deviated septum.
- We all did, sweetheart.
314
00:11:59,189 --> 00:12:00,789
Come on,
let's take him down.
315
00:12:00,791 --> 00:12:01,923
You'll help me?
316
00:12:01,925 --> 00:12:03,992
I only have one rule.
317
00:12:03,994 --> 00:12:06,495
Don't fall in love
with me.
318
00:12:06,497 --> 00:12:08,930
dirty work
319
00:12:08,932 --> 00:12:12,734
Yee, we did it.
We put up a wall.
320
00:12:12,736 --> 00:12:15,237
[gong ringing]
321
00:12:15,239 --> 00:12:19,274
Is that my phone?
322
00:12:19,276 --> 00:12:20,909
I'll get a new phone.
323
00:12:20,911 --> 00:12:24,179
Look, the point is,
we banded together as a team,
324
00:12:24,181 --> 00:12:26,982
and we built something
really beautiful.
325
00:12:26,984 --> 00:12:30,085
I'm proud of us.
326
00:12:31,822 --> 00:12:32,888
What's going on?
327
00:12:32,890 --> 00:12:35,924
[overlapping chatter]
328
00:12:39,897 --> 00:12:42,798
Ana, you're just in time.
329
00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:44,499
We're about to show
the Torres family
330
00:12:44,501 --> 00:12:45,867
the new kitchen
we built for them.
331
00:12:45,869 --> 00:12:48,203
How?
It's been four hours.
332
00:12:48,205 --> 00:12:51,473
I know, I know.
I wish we could have done more.
333
00:12:51,475 --> 00:12:53,842
Look at that backsplash.
334
00:12:53,844 --> 00:12:55,410
It's not that impressive.
335
00:12:55,412 --> 00:12:58,246
Mrs. Torres,
I'm honored to present to you
336
00:12:58,248 --> 00:13:02,384
your new kitchen.
337
00:13:02,386 --> 00:13:05,754
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
338
00:13:05,756 --> 00:13:08,890
And what a new kitchen
without a new man?
339
00:13:08,892 --> 00:13:11,159
Coming out,
Mr. Torres
340
00:13:11,161 --> 00:13:14,229
[excited yelling]
341
00:13:17,301 --> 00:13:19,568
Okay, well, let's take
a family picture
342
00:13:19,570 --> 00:13:23,805
in front of your
brand new wall.
343
00:13:23,807 --> 00:13:26,875
[cheering]
344
00:13:28,946 --> 00:13:32,347
- It is a nice backsplash.
- Beautiful.
345
00:13:38,809 --> 00:13:41,677
Well, Kate and Diego
officially win.
346
00:13:41,679 --> 00:13:43,012
What were we thinking?
347
00:13:43,014 --> 00:13:45,414
Every time we team up,
we fail horribly.
348
00:13:45,416 --> 00:13:46,949
I guess we just
have to face it.
349
00:13:46,951 --> 00:13:49,151
They're better together
than we ever were.
350
00:13:49,153 --> 00:13:50,753
You're right.
351
00:13:50,755 --> 00:13:52,121
God, I can't believe
at the end of the day,
352
00:13:52,123 --> 00:13:53,422
all we have to show
for ourselves
353
00:13:53,424 --> 00:13:56,692
is one stupid wall.
354
00:13:56,694 --> 00:13:59,228
[gong ringing]
355
00:13:59,230 --> 00:14:00,496
Give me this.
356
00:14:00,498 --> 00:14:03,566
[grunting]
357
00:14:10,708 --> 00:14:12,708
Well, this has been
a disaster--
358
00:14:12,710 --> 00:14:15,978
- losing to those hacks.
- Yeah, I know.
359
00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:17,346
Look at him.
360
00:14:17,348 --> 00:14:20,049
He's not giving that mustache
any respect.
361
00:14:20,051 --> 00:14:23,886
He doesn't deserve
to wear it.
362
00:14:23,888 --> 00:14:25,588
You're right.
363
00:14:25,590 --> 00:14:30,392
[playful music]
364
00:14:30,394 --> 00:14:32,127
Got a little schmutz.
365
00:14:32,129 --> 00:14:34,497
- May I?
- Of course.
366
00:14:34,499 --> 00:14:36,899
I know you women
can't resist touching it.
367
00:14:36,901 --> 00:14:41,837
- Go ahead.
- [Laughs softly]
368
00:14:41,839 --> 00:14:43,806
Wh-- I think--
369
00:14:43,808 --> 00:14:47,209
Why won't this
come off?
370
00:14:47,211 --> 00:14:50,045
I know it's fake.
371
00:14:50,047 --> 00:14:51,881
You are both insane!
372
00:14:51,883 --> 00:14:53,682
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
373
00:14:53,684 --> 00:14:55,117
[screams]
374
00:14:59,557 --> 00:15:03,659
- There you are.
- Huh, if it isn't Mr. Perfect.
375
00:15:03,661 --> 00:15:05,294
Shouldn't you
and Mrs. Perfect be off
376
00:15:05,296 --> 00:15:06,695
baking cookies with the Pope?
377
00:15:06,697 --> 00:15:10,566
Aw, you saw
our Christmas special?
378
00:15:10,568 --> 00:15:12,801
Anyway, I'm-- I'm sorry
about earlier.
379
00:15:12,803 --> 00:15:15,104
I know sometimes
we get a little carried away.
380
00:15:15,106 --> 00:15:17,406
- Yeah, especially Kate.
- I know.
381
00:15:17,408 --> 00:15:20,976
She just-- she sees
how happy and beautiful you are.
382
00:15:20,978 --> 00:15:24,079
- She just gets so jealous.
- Jealous? Of me?
383
00:15:24,081 --> 00:15:25,748
You know,
she's not the only one
384
00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:27,950
- that thinks you're beautiful.
- Oh, yeah, I know.
385
00:15:27,952 --> 00:15:29,752
I saw Grandpa Torres
giving me the eye.
386
00:15:31,956 --> 00:15:33,422
[squeals]
387
00:15:33,424 --> 00:15:35,591
- What the hell?
- I couldn't help myself.
388
00:15:35,593 --> 00:15:39,228
What? Wait.
You are married to my enemy.
389
00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:40,462
And I know
a really good way
390
00:15:40,464 --> 00:15:41,463
for you
to get back at her.
391
00:15:41,465 --> 00:15:43,365
No,
I want no part of it.
392
00:15:43,367 --> 00:15:46,402
- I meant sex.
- Yeah, I know what you meant.
393
00:15:47,905 --> 00:15:50,906
[playful music]
394
00:15:50,908 --> 00:15:52,541
395
00:15:52,543 --> 00:15:56,512
Julio-- Julio!
Where are you Julio?
396
00:15:56,514 --> 00:15:59,748
I am right here.
Did anyone see you?
397
00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:01,317
No, I told them
I had to take a break
398
00:16:01,319 --> 00:16:03,118
for my afternoon crunches.
399
00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:06,755
Actually,
it's about that time.
400
00:16:06,757 --> 00:16:08,243
Me too.
401
00:16:11,495 --> 00:16:13,095
What are we gonna do?
402
00:16:13,097 --> 00:16:14,363
As long as we're
on rival shows,
403
00:16:14,365 --> 00:16:17,132
we can never
be together.
404
00:16:17,134 --> 00:16:18,734
Huh, I could quit
and just be a doctor
405
00:16:18,736 --> 00:16:20,102
like the rest of my family.
406
00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:21,837
Hey, don't say that.
407
00:16:21,839 --> 00:16:23,572
We should just
tell them how we feel
408
00:16:23,574 --> 00:16:25,841
and whatever happens happens.
409
00:16:25,843 --> 00:16:27,910
Can I tell you a secret
I have never told anyone?
410
00:16:27,912 --> 00:16:30,212
Yes.
411
00:16:30,214 --> 00:16:31,981
If you
put your shoulders back,
412
00:16:31,983 --> 00:16:34,350
you can isolate
two muscle groups.
413
00:16:37,788 --> 00:16:39,755
You are in a warm cocoon.
414
00:16:39,757 --> 00:16:41,624
Block out all distractions.
415
00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:42,725
[heavy footsteps]
416
00:16:42,727 --> 00:16:44,026
- Relax.
- Mimi, Mimi.
417
00:16:44,028 --> 00:16:45,394
- Crisis, I need you.
- No, no, no.
418
00:16:45,396 --> 00:16:46,895
You said I could have
my Mimi-me day,
419
00:16:46,897 --> 00:16:48,130
and I'm not gonna let
anything in the--
420
00:16:48,132 --> 00:16:50,366
- Diego kissed me.
- I'm in.
421
00:16:50,368 --> 00:16:51,734
Can you believe it?
422
00:16:51,736 --> 00:16:53,902
I thought he and Kate
were the perfect couple.
423
00:16:53,904 --> 00:16:58,307
- I feel so bad for her.
- Ana, you're smiling.
424
00:16:58,309 --> 00:17:00,609
I am?
Oh, uh.
425
00:17:00,611 --> 00:17:02,211
No, I really do feel bad.
426
00:17:02,213 --> 00:17:04,913
When Javi cheated on me,
I was the last to find out.
427
00:17:04,915 --> 00:17:07,282
And I don't like Kate,
but she needs to know.
428
00:17:07,284 --> 00:17:10,219
I have to tell her
her marriage is a lie.
429
00:17:10,221 --> 00:17:13,656
- Still smiling.
- I can't stop.
430
00:17:17,380 --> 00:17:19,381
- Kate.
- Ana.
431
00:17:19,383 --> 00:17:21,116
- How's your wall?
- Drop it, Kate.
432
00:17:21,118 --> 00:17:23,953
This is serious.
Diego kissed me.
433
00:17:23,955 --> 00:17:25,955
Now I know
how upset you must be.
434
00:17:25,957 --> 00:17:27,790
I will give you
the name of my divorce lawyer,
435
00:17:27,792 --> 00:17:29,225
and I will be
your friend through this.
436
00:17:29,227 --> 00:17:30,993
I mean,
not your best friend,
437
00:17:30,995 --> 00:17:33,562
but, like, we could
get coffee once or twice.
438
00:17:33,564 --> 00:17:34,797
Once.
439
00:17:34,799 --> 00:17:36,732
You think
you're so special.
440
00:17:36,734 --> 00:17:39,068
Diego cheats on me
all the time.
441
00:17:39,070 --> 00:17:40,836
But I thought you two
were so happy.
442
00:17:40,838 --> 00:17:42,471
It doesn't matter
if we're happy.
443
00:17:42,473 --> 00:17:44,840
It matters if people think
we're happy.
444
00:17:44,842 --> 00:17:47,142
Our marriage
is a sham,
445
00:17:47,144 --> 00:17:48,844
but it's great
for publicity.
446
00:17:48,846 --> 00:17:50,980
I'm sure it was the same
for you and Javi.
447
00:17:50,982 --> 00:17:53,315
No, I married Javi
because I loved him.
448
00:17:53,317 --> 00:17:56,819
Really?
Weird.
449
00:17:56,821 --> 00:17:59,922
Wow,
I'm so sorry, Kate.
450
00:17:59,924 --> 00:18:02,391
[upbeat Latin music]
451
00:18:02,393 --> 00:18:06,061
Sorry?
452
00:18:06,063 --> 00:18:08,864
Sorry?
Excuse me, my life is perfecta.
453
00:18:08,866 --> 00:18:12,368
- Don't walk away from me.
- Or what?
454
00:18:12,370 --> 00:18:17,406
Or-- or say goodbye
to your little white outfit.
455
00:18:23,748 --> 00:18:26,181
No!
456
00:18:26,183 --> 00:18:29,184
[dramatic Latin music]
457
00:18:29,186 --> 00:18:32,254
458
00:18:32,256 --> 00:18:33,689
Ah!
459
00:18:33,691 --> 00:18:37,526
460
00:18:37,528 --> 00:18:39,962
Oh-- oh, Javi!
461
00:18:39,964 --> 00:18:42,197
You saved me.
462
00:18:42,199 --> 00:18:45,701
- It was nothing, babe.
- Seriously, Diego?
463
00:18:45,703 --> 00:18:47,136
You saved yourself?
464
00:18:47,138 --> 00:18:49,905
Why can't we
be more like them, huh?
465
00:18:51,442 --> 00:18:54,977
Everybody stop fighting.
466
00:18:54,979 --> 00:18:57,046
Yeah, it kind of just
fizzled out on its own.
467
00:18:57,048 --> 00:18:59,949
Well, then,
stay stopped fighting.
468
00:18:59,951 --> 00:19:03,786
Your petty feud is getting
in the way of true love.
469
00:19:03,788 --> 00:19:05,721
Tell them, Gael.
470
00:19:05,723 --> 00:19:08,324
Julio and I know
being together is forbidden,
471
00:19:08,326 --> 00:19:09,592
but we don't care.
472
00:19:09,594 --> 00:19:12,127
You guys together?
Ah, que lindos.
473
00:19:12,129 --> 00:19:13,462
[all swooning]
474
00:19:13,464 --> 00:19:15,431
I mean, holiday parties
might be awkward,
475
00:19:15,433 --> 00:19:17,566
but you guys are happy,
we're happy.
476
00:19:17,568 --> 00:19:19,768
They make
a cute couple.
477
00:19:19,770 --> 00:19:24,440
So, it's not forbidden?
478
00:19:24,442 --> 00:19:26,742
Oh, it doesn't make it
any less hot.
479
00:19:26,744 --> 00:19:29,345
- Right?
- Sure.
480
00:19:29,347 --> 00:19:33,315
Yay!
Together forever.
481
00:19:33,317 --> 00:19:37,252
I'll be home soon, boys.
I love you too.
482
00:19:37,254 --> 00:19:38,621
You know,
whenever I'm at work
483
00:19:38,623 --> 00:19:40,689
I realize how much I love
being your--
484
00:19:40,691 --> 00:19:41,824
Diego, quit hitting
your brother.
485
00:19:41,826 --> 00:19:43,525
I swear to God
when I get home.
486
00:19:43,527 --> 00:19:45,461
I'm never gonna be as cool
a villain as Armando.
487
00:19:45,463 --> 00:19:48,430
Listen to me 'cause
I'm only gonna say this once.
488
00:19:48,432 --> 00:19:49,865
You don't need a mustache.
489
00:19:49,867 --> 00:19:53,002
Your mustache
is right in there.
490
00:19:53,004 --> 00:19:55,938
You act a million times better
than Armando ever could.
491
00:19:55,940 --> 00:19:58,607
coming over,
coming over
492
00:19:58,609 --> 00:20:01,210
Ugh, they always
fall in love.
493
00:20:01,212 --> 00:20:03,946
isn't it strange
that every time
494
00:20:03,948 --> 00:20:05,781
Thanks for having
my back in there.
495
00:20:05,783 --> 00:20:07,516
You're a pretty good person
to have on my team.
496
00:20:07,518 --> 00:20:09,018
And I'm sorry I said
Kate and Diego
497
00:20:09,020 --> 00:20:11,453
were better than us.
We were so jealous of them.
498
00:20:11,455 --> 00:20:12,888
We could have done
the same thing they did--
499
00:20:12,890 --> 00:20:15,024
had a sham marriage
just for publicity.
500
00:20:15,026 --> 00:20:18,027
No way.
I'm happy as what we are.
501
00:20:18,029 --> 00:20:20,295
- Exes?
- Friends.
502
00:20:20,297 --> 00:20:22,798
all I need is you
and a bit of music
503
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,868
- Ho-ho!
- You're right.
504
00:20:25,870 --> 00:20:27,236
We are friends.
505
00:20:27,238 --> 00:20:29,538
Besides, you took
a paint glob for me.
506
00:20:29,540 --> 00:20:32,708
Thanks to you,
I stayed clean as always.
507
00:20:32,710 --> 00:20:35,711
coming over,
coming over
508
00:20:35,713 --> 00:20:37,246
What are we gonna do
about this mess?
509
00:20:37,248 --> 00:20:39,081
We'll write
a big check.
510
00:20:39,083 --> 00:20:40,516
511
00:20:40,518 --> 00:20:42,317
We kind of moved
a little fast today.
512
00:20:42,319 --> 00:20:44,520
Maybe we should start
with an actual date.
513
00:20:44,522 --> 00:20:47,356
When are you free?
My cheat day is Saturday, so--
514
00:20:47,358 --> 00:20:50,492
Ugh, I'm Tuesdays.
515
00:20:50,494 --> 00:20:52,494
[acoustic Latin music]
516
00:20:52,496 --> 00:20:53,996
Let's say our diets
on three.
517
00:20:53,998 --> 00:20:55,064
One, two--
518
00:20:55,066 --> 00:20:58,333
- Vegan.
- Paleo.
519
00:20:58,335 --> 00:21:01,870
- So, I'll text you.
- I'll find you on Facebook.
520
00:21:01,872 --> 00:21:07,481
521
00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:10,308
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
522
00:21:10,358 --> 00:21:14,908
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
37542
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof