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1
00:00:02,764 --> 00:00:06,334
[groaning]
2
00:00:08,601 --> 00:00:11,059
[grunts] Come on!
3
00:00:11,079 --> 00:00:13,130
[groans] Okay.
4
00:00:13,132 --> 00:00:14,885
[groaning]
5
00:00:14,906 --> 00:00:18,040
Okay. [groaning]
6
00:00:18,042 --> 00:00:21,610
Get up my butt! Get up my butt!
7
00:00:21,612 --> 00:00:24,653
[groaning]
8
00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:26,246
What is going on?
9
00:00:26,248 --> 00:00:29,048
These are my fat jeans!
10
00:00:29,050 --> 00:00:32,051
[Broadway music]
11
00:00:32,053 --> 00:00:38,992
12
00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:42,994
I'm sorry, after you.
13
00:00:42,996 --> 00:00:45,228
I couldn't possibly.
You were here first.
14
00:00:45,230 --> 00:00:46,896
No, please. I insist.
15
00:00:46,898 --> 00:00:47,997
Move it!
16
00:00:47,999 --> 00:00:50,167
My favorite time of day... lunch!
17
00:00:50,169 --> 00:00:51,366
[upbeat Broadway music]
18
00:00:51,368 --> 00:00:54,170
Lunchtime is the best time
19
00:00:54,172 --> 00:00:56,872
Coming here is such a treat
20
00:00:56,874 --> 00:00:59,474
Lunchtime is the best time
21
00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:01,643
We only have one job and that's eat
22
00:01:01,645 --> 00:01:03,810
I agree.
I always wait in line
23
00:01:03,812 --> 00:01:05,513
I'd never brown bag it
24
00:01:05,515 --> 00:01:08,248
Food so good
it should be rated by Zagat
25
00:01:08,250 --> 00:01:10,850
The only time of the day
I'm not pissed off
26
00:01:10,852 --> 00:01:13,953
Is when I'm here eating
my beef stroganoff
27
00:01:13,955 --> 00:01:16,722
Food makes you smart
so fill up your plate
28
00:01:16,724 --> 00:01:19,691
All the great artists
needed to hydrate
29
00:01:19,693 --> 00:01:22,628
The ? la carte menu totally frees us
30
00:01:22,630 --> 00:01:24,361
We can thank one person for it
31
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That's Jesus
32
00:01:26,167 --> 00:01:27,932
33
00:01:27,934 --> 00:01:30,734
All:
Lunchtime is the best time
34
00:01:30,736 --> 00:01:33,537
Coming here is such a treat
35
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Lunchtime is the best time
36
00:01:35,973 --> 00:01:39,275
We only have one job and that's eat
37
00:01:39,277 --> 00:01:42,010
Hamburgers and french fries
and some sloppy joes, please
38
00:01:42,012 --> 00:01:44,914
Chicken patties, corndogs,
tacos, and grilled cheese
39
00:01:44,916 --> 00:01:47,783
Pepperoni pizza, nuggets, and pop
40
00:01:47,785 --> 00:01:50,685
Uncooked cookies
with soft serve on top
41
00:01:50,687 --> 00:01:52,453
Good thing I'm in sweatpants
from Old Navy
42
00:01:52,455 --> 00:01:56,423
Because mama needs more room
for all the gravy
43
00:01:56,425 --> 00:01:58,959
Gravy, gravy on all the food
44
00:01:58,961 --> 00:02:01,962
Gravy, gravy I'm in the mood
45
00:02:01,964 --> 00:02:04,496
Gravy on my chicken,
gravy on my fries
46
00:02:04,498 --> 00:02:07,633
Gravy on my burger,
hell, I put gravy on my pies
47
00:02:07,635 --> 00:02:09,001
All:
Gravy, gravy, gravy, gravy
48
00:02:09,003 --> 00:02:11,802
Lunchtime is the best time
49
00:02:11,804 --> 00:02:14,671
Coming here is such a treat
50
00:02:14,673 --> 00:02:16,942
Lunchtime is the best time
51
00:02:16,944 --> 00:02:19,742
We only have one job and that's eat
52
00:02:19,744 --> 00:02:22,012
Lunchtime is the worst time
53
00:02:22,014 --> 00:02:25,314
When trying to fit into jeans
54
00:02:25,316 --> 00:02:27,751
Lunchtime is the worst time
55
00:02:27,753 --> 00:02:30,552
When you want to look pre-teen
56
00:02:30,554 --> 00:02:33,621
This whole room is filled
with the Devil's fried scent
57
00:02:33,623 --> 00:02:36,324
Not being able to join
is pure torment
58
00:02:36,326 --> 00:02:39,092
Look at them line up
like fat pigs at the slop
59
00:02:39,094 --> 00:02:42,096
While I have to summon
all my will to stop
60
00:02:42,098 --> 00:02:47,199
Lunchtime is the worst time
61
00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:51,336
For me
62
00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:52,538
[gasps]
63
00:02:52,540 --> 00:02:56,241
Oh! Oh, what the...
64
00:02:56,243 --> 00:02:59,277
- Oh, God!
- Chelsea?
65
00:02:59,279 --> 00:03:01,023
Chelsea?
66
00:03:02,481 --> 00:03:03,514
Ms. Bennigan, hi.
67
00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:04,616
[whispering] Hot Dad.
68
00:03:04,618 --> 00:03:08,185
Hidey-ho. What are you doing here?
69
00:03:08,187 --> 00:03:10,854
Well, I'm the parent volunteer
for lunch this week.
70
00:03:10,856 --> 00:03:12,222
Gonna be serving hot dogs.
71
00:03:12,224 --> 00:03:15,057
Yum. I'd love to eat your hot dog.
72
00:03:15,059 --> 00:03:17,393
[laughs]
73
00:03:17,395 --> 00:03:20,663
Listen, uh, I want to apologize
74
00:03:20,665 --> 00:03:21,830
for trying to kiss you
75
00:03:21,832 --> 00:03:23,664
when you came over to babysit Blake.
76
00:03:23,666 --> 00:03:25,500
When did we kiss?
77
00:03:25,502 --> 00:03:26,935
Well, we didn't. You fainted.
78
00:03:26,937 --> 00:03:29,469
I'm sorry. You're Blake's teacher
79
00:03:29,471 --> 00:03:30,538
and my behavior was inappropriate.
80
00:03:30,540 --> 00:03:31,871
It won't happen again.
81
00:03:31,873 --> 00:03:34,140
Yes, that's probably for the best.
82
00:03:34,142 --> 00:03:36,542
We should keep this
a professional relationship,
83
00:03:36,544 --> 00:03:38,478
because...
84
00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:39,979
[Broadway music]
85
00:03:39,981 --> 00:03:43,414
I am a teacher, you are a parent
86
00:03:43,416 --> 00:03:46,151
I don't even know your name
87
00:03:46,153 --> 00:03:49,554
I'm glad we agree
on what we should be
88
00:03:49,556 --> 00:03:52,889
It's nice to feel the same
89
00:03:52,891 --> 00:03:55,960
You are a teacher, I am a parent
90
00:03:55,962 --> 00:03:59,229
A couple that shouldn't be
91
00:03:59,231 --> 00:04:02,098
I won't interfere
with your great career
92
00:04:02,100 --> 00:04:05,634
It's too important, I see
93
00:04:05,636 --> 00:04:08,736
You are a parent, I am a teacher
94
00:04:08,738 --> 00:04:11,905
Without boundaries we'd be lost
95
00:04:11,907 --> 00:04:15,208
And as for your kiss, sir,
which I did miss, sir
96
00:04:15,210 --> 00:04:18,313
These lines can never be crossed
97
00:04:18,315 --> 00:04:21,647
You are a teacher and it's apparent
98
00:04:21,649 --> 00:04:24,885
It's late and I must fly
99
00:04:24,887 --> 00:04:28,453
I'm on lunch duty,
some gravy needs spooning
100
00:04:28,455 --> 00:04:30,623
So...
101
00:04:30,625 --> 00:04:32,691
Do...
102
00:04:32,693 --> 00:04:35,794
I
103
00:04:35,796 --> 00:04:37,130
[bell dings]
104
00:04:40,866 --> 00:04:42,700
- Morning, everyone.
- Morning.
105
00:04:42,702 --> 00:04:45,436
Ooh, Deb. Looks like
that chicken fried steak
106
00:04:45,438 --> 00:04:47,005
gave you a little pimple.
107
00:04:49,774 --> 00:04:53,142
[gasps] This is bullshit.
108
00:04:53,144 --> 00:04:55,510
Ugh. I took Accutane in high school
109
00:04:55,512 --> 00:04:58,145
and it was supposed to get rid
of my acne forever.
110
00:04:58,147 --> 00:05:00,515
The side effects from the stuff
makes you a depressed,
111
00:05:00,517 --> 00:05:02,683
negative, suicidal mess.
112
00:05:02,685 --> 00:05:04,684
Oh, so you're still taking it?
113
00:05:04,686 --> 00:05:06,955
What? No.
114
00:05:08,224 --> 00:05:11,193
Stop staring at me.
115
00:05:12,995 --> 00:05:15,929
Oh! Everyone, shut up.
116
00:05:15,931 --> 00:05:17,563
I have an announcement to make.
117
00:05:17,565 --> 00:05:19,498
As of today, there will be
a new meal plan
118
00:05:19,500 --> 00:05:21,299
here at Fillmore.
119
00:05:21,301 --> 00:05:22,867
Here are the menus.
120
00:05:23,637 --> 00:05:27,405
Lunch on Tuesday's kale
and a dollop of brown rice?
121
00:05:27,407 --> 00:05:29,907
Dude, this is worse than P.O.W. food.
122
00:05:29,909 --> 00:05:31,607
You can't tell us what to eat.
123
00:05:31,609 --> 00:05:33,308
Actually, she can.
124
00:05:33,310 --> 00:05:35,912
As a member of the LSC,
Miss Snap can recommend
125
00:05:35,914 --> 00:05:38,681
suspension for any teacher
who doesn't comply.
126
00:05:38,683 --> 00:05:40,681
Whoa. This sounds like the beginning
127
00:05:40,683 --> 00:05:42,984
of a dystopian novel.
128
00:05:42,986 --> 00:05:44,885
Get that snack cake out of my face!
129
00:05:44,887 --> 00:05:46,320
They're not on the menu.
130
00:05:46,322 --> 00:05:49,123
From now on, there will be
no more sugar, sodium,
131
00:05:49,125 --> 00:05:53,594
starch, carbs, fat, or dairy...
for students or teachers.
132
00:05:53,596 --> 00:05:55,462
The only food allowed on school grounds
133
00:05:55,464 --> 00:05:56,864
is what's on the new meal plan.
134
00:05:56,866 --> 00:05:59,000
[snaps fingers]
135
00:06:00,668 --> 00:06:02,200
Thanks, guys.
136
00:06:02,202 --> 00:06:04,337
Take that to the parking lot
and set it on fire.
137
00:06:06,539 --> 00:06:08,106
This is terrible.
138
00:06:08,108 --> 00:06:10,842
I think a less processed menu
is a great idea.
139
00:06:10,844 --> 00:06:12,544
[funk music]
140
00:06:12,546 --> 00:06:15,046
There's a solution to the revolution
141
00:06:15,048 --> 00:06:18,049
An evolution of what we eat
142
00:06:18,051 --> 00:06:21,049
Ms. Cannon, that's enough.
Peas and rice.
143
00:06:21,051 --> 00:06:24,154
No one cares
about your farm-to-table BS.
144
00:06:24,156 --> 00:06:27,056
I can't fit into my fat jeans!
145
00:06:27,058 --> 00:06:29,924
Is what these children will
wake up and say to themselves
146
00:06:29,926 --> 00:06:32,895
in the morning if we don't
get them on a healthy diet.
147
00:06:34,431 --> 00:06:36,063
[bluesy rock music]
148
00:06:36,065 --> 00:06:37,765
At four years old
149
00:06:37,767 --> 00:06:41,467
Mama put me on my first scale
150
00:06:41,469 --> 00:06:43,404
From that day on
151
00:06:43,406 --> 00:06:46,606
I lived in a food jail
152
00:06:46,608 --> 00:06:48,609
Every time I go to lunch
153
00:06:48,611 --> 00:06:51,443
I fail my diet regime
154
00:06:51,445 --> 00:06:53,746
And then I get a FUPA
155
00:06:53,748 --> 00:06:56,349
And lose my self-esteem
156
00:06:56,351 --> 00:06:59,984
There's a new lunch lady in town
157
00:06:59,986 --> 00:07:03,121
No snacks, no salt,
no carbs, no sweets
158
00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:07,123
159
00:07:07,125 --> 00:07:09,893
If you want to be a winner
160
00:07:09,895 --> 00:07:12,260
You've got to be thinner
161
00:07:12,262 --> 00:07:15,765
It's just too easy to cheat
162
00:07:15,767 --> 00:07:18,732
163
00:07:18,734 --> 00:07:20,102
Every magazine
164
00:07:20,104 --> 00:07:24,272
Every reality show
165
00:07:24,274 --> 00:07:29,443
Makes me feel like a dumpy-assed ho
166
00:07:29,445 --> 00:07:30,876
So I push myself
167
00:07:30,878 --> 00:07:33,945
Burn calories faster
168
00:07:33,947 --> 00:07:36,148
I don't sit nowhere
169
00:07:36,150 --> 00:07:39,219
Without my trusty ThighMaster
170
00:07:39,221 --> 00:07:42,388
There's a new lunch lady in town
171
00:07:42,390 --> 00:07:47,424
Gonna purge this school
and stand my ground
172
00:07:47,426 --> 00:07:49,325
Oh, baby.
173
00:07:49,327 --> 00:07:52,162
I've never felt such vim and vigor
174
00:07:52,164 --> 00:07:53,763
I'm getting smaller
175
00:07:53,765 --> 00:07:57,333
But my dream's getting bigger
176
00:07:57,335 --> 00:08:00,369
'Cause there's a new lunch lady
177
00:08:00,371 --> 00:08:04,875
In town
178
00:08:06,010 --> 00:08:07,144
Damn it, Rory!
179
00:08:09,866 --> 00:08:11,099
I haven't been this depressed
180
00:08:11,101 --> 00:08:13,102
since I watched "The Da Vinci Code."
181
00:08:13,104 --> 00:08:16,071
Yeah, this new lunch menu sucks.
182
00:08:16,073 --> 00:08:17,539
Oh, come on, guys, it's not that bad.
183
00:08:17,541 --> 00:08:19,276
There are some great things
about the new meal plan.
184
00:08:20,476 --> 00:08:23,643
[funk music]
185
00:08:23,645 --> 00:08:26,913
Don't you want
small farms to thrive?
186
00:08:26,915 --> 00:08:28,917
-
Plant...
- Not now, Cecelia.
187
00:08:32,486 --> 00:08:34,354
What are you so happy about?
188
00:08:34,356 --> 00:08:37,191
I snuck in a little something-something.
189
00:08:38,391 --> 00:08:40,058
How'd you get that in here?
190
00:08:40,060 --> 00:08:41,627
My pants.
191
00:08:41,629 --> 00:08:42,994
Ohh.
192
00:08:42,996 --> 00:08:45,263
That's why you're wearing JNCO jeans.
193
00:08:45,265 --> 00:08:46,797
You got any more?
194
00:08:46,799 --> 00:08:48,167
Share-sies.
195
00:08:51,669 --> 00:08:52,668
Oh, hey, Deb.
196
00:08:52,670 --> 00:08:53,870
Don't look at me!
197
00:08:53,872 --> 00:08:55,104
[bell rings]
198
00:08:55,106 --> 00:08:58,242
Okay, two days on the new meal plan.
199
00:09:00,077 --> 00:09:01,844
I've gained a pound?
200
00:09:01,846 --> 00:09:03,867
How is that even possible?
201
00:09:05,015 --> 00:09:06,915
What would Gwyneth Paltrow do?
202
00:09:06,917 --> 00:09:09,017
[ominous music]
203
00:09:09,019 --> 00:09:12,018
Today, lunch is liquid.
204
00:09:12,020 --> 00:09:18,990
205
00:09:18,992 --> 00:09:20,692
[gasps]
206
00:09:20,694 --> 00:09:24,397
No!
207
00:09:24,399 --> 00:09:25,898
208
00:09:25,900 --> 00:09:29,633
It's like my senior yearbook
disaster all over again.
209
00:09:29,635 --> 00:09:32,303
210
00:09:32,305 --> 00:09:34,638
[dramatic music]
211
00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:36,907
[scoffs]
212
00:09:36,909 --> 00:09:38,908
I thought the days
213
00:09:38,910 --> 00:09:43,613
Of humiliation were behind me
214
00:09:43,615 --> 00:09:46,148
But now I've got this mountain
on my face
215
00:09:46,150 --> 00:09:48,683
To remind me
216
00:09:48,685 --> 00:09:51,952
Of high school shame and nasty games
217
00:09:51,954 --> 00:09:54,556
And vicious insults
218
00:09:54,558 --> 00:09:57,758
Is there anything worse than having
219
00:09:57,760 --> 00:10:04,763
Acne as an adult?
220
00:10:04,765 --> 00:10:06,465
Ah!
221
00:10:06,467 --> 00:10:11,336
So now I must hide
this hideous seeping welt
222
00:10:11,338 --> 00:10:14,172
So that no one can once again
223
00:10:14,174 --> 00:10:17,173
Make me feel the way I felt
224
00:10:17,175 --> 00:10:19,978
I'll slip through Fillmore
225
00:10:19,980 --> 00:10:22,747
Like a phantom, keeping mum
226
00:10:22,749 --> 00:10:27,250
I just wish this zit would
stop pounding
227
00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:33,791
Like a drum
228
00:10:35,526 --> 00:10:37,197
Mrs. Adler?
229
00:10:39,962 --> 00:10:41,296
Can we keep the lights on?
230
00:10:41,298 --> 00:10:43,628
We can't see our quizzes.
231
00:10:44,134 --> 00:10:45,766
Oh, yeah.
232
00:10:45,768 --> 00:10:47,468
Of course. Sorry.
233
00:10:47,470 --> 00:10:49,136
What's on your face?
234
00:10:49,138 --> 00:10:51,373
It's half of a Korean sheet mask.
235
00:10:53,207 --> 00:10:56,044
[dramatic music]
236
00:10:57,645 --> 00:11:00,278
Chelsea, I think I made a huge mistake.
237
00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:02,446
Shh. Do you smell that?
238
00:11:02,448 --> 00:11:03,614
[sniffs]
239
00:11:03,616 --> 00:11:05,050
That's not lemon, pepper, or cayenne.
240
00:11:05,052 --> 00:11:06,850
No. Hot Dad told me
241
00:11:06,852 --> 00:11:09,119
that he tried to kiss me
and I freaked out.
242
00:11:09,121 --> 00:11:10,755
[sniffs]
243
00:11:13,491 --> 00:11:14,691
[sniffs]
244
00:11:14,693 --> 00:11:16,625
There is chocolate
in the general vicinity.
245
00:11:16,627 --> 00:11:18,661
I told him that I wanted
to keep our relationship
246
00:11:18,663 --> 00:11:20,863
purely professional, because I thought
247
00:11:20,865 --> 00:11:22,764
that's what he wanted,
but it might not be
248
00:11:22,766 --> 00:11:24,398
what he wanted, because at one point
249
00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:25,801
he wanted to kiss me,
which is what I wanted.
250
00:11:25,803 --> 00:11:27,402
[sniffs] Mary Louise,
251
00:11:27,404 --> 00:11:28,536
I don't have time to teach you
252
00:11:28,538 --> 00:11:30,403
how to act like a normal human being.
253
00:11:30,405 --> 00:11:32,407
Just tell him how you really feel.
254
00:11:32,409 --> 00:11:33,608
[scoffs]
255
00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:35,175
[sniffing]
256
00:11:35,177 --> 00:11:37,911
[sniffs deeply]
257
00:11:37,913 --> 00:11:40,614
[dramatic music]
258
00:11:40,616 --> 00:11:41,947
Whoa! [gasps]
259
00:11:41,949 --> 00:11:43,516
I knew it!
260
00:11:43,518 --> 00:11:47,211
Someone is hiding food at this school.
261
00:11:47,855 --> 00:11:51,255
When I find out who did this,
I will hunt them down
262
00:11:51,257 --> 00:11:53,425
and decapitate them,
if I can get a knife
263
00:11:53,427 --> 00:11:56,194
through the fat layers
of their fat necks!
264
00:11:56,196 --> 00:11:57,327
265
00:11:57,329 --> 00:12:00,630
[chuckles] Oh, sorry,
266
00:12:00,632 --> 00:12:02,883
that was the cayenne talking.
267
00:12:03,501 --> 00:12:06,204
I mean, I'll recommend
to the LSC they get suspended.
268
00:12:07,172 --> 00:12:08,505
[dramatic sting]
269
00:12:10,774 --> 00:12:14,276
[loudly] Thanks for returning
my student's backpack.
270
00:12:14,278 --> 00:12:16,445
[quietly] This is full
of Cool Ranch chips, right?
271
00:12:16,447 --> 00:12:18,211
And there's more where that came from.
272
00:12:18,213 --> 00:12:20,681
[dramatic music]
273
00:12:20,683 --> 00:12:23,585
Feldman's gonna have her way today
274
00:12:23,587 --> 00:12:26,253
Setting up a junk food buffet
275
00:12:26,255 --> 00:12:29,322
Snap can't catch me
but she'll taste the backlash
276
00:12:29,324 --> 00:12:33,091
She'll never find
my main candy stash
277
00:12:33,093 --> 00:12:34,726
Today
278
00:12:34,728 --> 00:12:37,528
With my waist trainer
tightened today
279
00:12:37,530 --> 00:12:39,898
My senses are heightened
280
00:12:39,900 --> 00:12:43,268
I know there's junk food around
281
00:12:43,270 --> 00:12:47,170
Whoever did this is going down
282
00:12:47,172 --> 00:12:48,839
Today
283
00:12:48,841 --> 00:12:53,143
My fate I will soon seal
284
00:12:53,145 --> 00:12:55,344
Today I'll tell Hot Dad
285
00:12:55,346 --> 00:12:59,415
Just how I feel
286
00:12:59,417 --> 00:13:00,782
Gonna figure out the sitch
287
00:13:00,784 --> 00:13:02,216
Gonna trick that skinny bitch
288
00:13:02,218 --> 00:13:05,387
Maybe I'll get hitched
289
00:13:05,389 --> 00:13:08,623
All:
Today
290
00:13:08,625 --> 00:13:10,257
291
00:13:10,259 --> 00:13:12,692
[gasps] I found it!
292
00:13:12,694 --> 00:13:13,928
Oh.
293
00:13:15,563 --> 00:13:17,897
Ugh!
294
00:13:17,899 --> 00:13:19,798
Who eats this?
295
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:20,934
[sighs]
296
00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:23,937
Oh.
297
00:13:26,707 --> 00:13:29,040
Ohh.
298
00:13:29,042 --> 00:13:31,176
Mmm, mmm.
299
00:13:31,178 --> 00:13:33,479
[garbled] Oh, my God, this so good!
300
00:13:35,081 --> 00:13:37,216
Oh, yeah.
301
00:13:39,150 --> 00:13:42,686
Stop eating, you disgusting pig!
302
00:13:42,688 --> 00:13:45,289
How much do I weigh now, Mommy?
303
00:13:46,890 --> 00:13:48,657
Oh.
304
00:13:48,659 --> 00:13:51,459
[moaning]
305
00:13:51,461 --> 00:13:54,788
Oh, this poutine is so good.
306
00:13:55,531 --> 00:13:58,407
No. You can't do this!
307
00:13:58,667 --> 00:14:00,601
[panting]
308
00:14:02,737 --> 00:14:04,904
[grunts]
309
00:14:04,906 --> 00:14:08,609
Ha! Burn, you sweets of Satan, burn!
310
00:14:10,335 --> 00:14:13,401
[dramatic music]
311
00:14:13,403 --> 00:14:16,872
Attention, there will be no lunch today.
312
00:14:16,874 --> 00:14:20,243
I repeat, lunch is cancelled!
313
00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:22,776
That is all.
314
00:14:22,778 --> 00:14:24,043
What are you doing?
315
00:14:24,045 --> 00:14:25,312
Studies have shown
316
00:14:25,314 --> 00:14:27,446
that eating is an
inappropriate use of time.
317
00:14:27,448 --> 00:14:30,716
Snap's out of control.
You have to do something!
318
00:14:30,718 --> 00:14:34,585
Isn't it funny, after all
the trouble you've caused me,
319
00:14:34,587 --> 00:14:37,622
now you need my help. Hmm.
320
00:14:37,624 --> 00:14:40,624
And in the middle of my spring cleaning.
321
00:14:40,626 --> 00:14:44,628
Well, it doesn't come for free.
322
00:14:44,630 --> 00:14:47,330
[cabaret music]
323
00:14:47,332 --> 00:14:50,565
Ask any of the teachers
at this school
324
00:14:50,567 --> 00:14:53,869
They'll all tell you
I can be pretty cool
325
00:14:53,871 --> 00:14:57,006
But this is not a one-sided trade
326
00:14:57,008 --> 00:15:01,142
Because one day,
Papa might need your aid
327
00:15:01,144 --> 00:15:03,576
328
00:15:03,578 --> 00:15:07,147
You cause a lot of trouble
329
00:15:07,149 --> 00:15:10,017
And I've never laid you off
330
00:15:10,019 --> 00:15:13,420
But Papa needs your help too
331
00:15:13,422 --> 00:15:17,089
Sometimes I want to get off
332
00:15:17,091 --> 00:15:18,923
Excuse me?
333
00:15:18,925 --> 00:15:21,147
Early... from work.
334
00:15:22,462 --> 00:15:24,963
What? I work a lot of late nights.
335
00:15:24,965 --> 00:15:26,096
336
00:15:26,098 --> 00:15:29,133
If I do you a favor
337
00:15:29,135 --> 00:15:32,335
And help you with your plan
338
00:15:32,337 --> 00:15:35,638
I'll want a little reward
339
00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:38,809
To make me feel like a man
340
00:15:40,111 --> 00:15:42,711
Whoa. What are you suggesting?
341
00:15:42,713 --> 00:15:46,782
Just, like, a nice bottle
of Sutter Home white zin
342
00:15:46,784 --> 00:15:49,917
or a gift certificate to World Market.
343
00:15:49,919 --> 00:15:51,453
Something fun.
344
00:15:51,455 --> 00:15:54,888
This job can be real stressful
345
00:15:54,890 --> 00:15:57,758
And it's hard to pull through
346
00:15:57,760 --> 00:16:01,328
But when you're good to Papa
347
00:16:01,330 --> 00:16:06,165
Papa's good
348
00:16:06,167 --> 00:16:08,934
To you
349
00:16:08,936 --> 00:16:11,872
Okay, I'm pretty skeeved out,
so I'm gonna leave.
350
00:16:13,307 --> 00:16:15,541
Hm.
351
00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:26,148
Mmm. It's not real,
but at least it's sweet.
352
00:16:26,150 --> 00:16:28,017
[sobbing]
353
00:16:28,019 --> 00:16:29,752
[ominous music]
354
00:16:29,754 --> 00:16:31,688
Deb?
355
00:16:34,024 --> 00:16:35,556
Are you okay?
356
00:16:35,558 --> 00:16:38,493
Did you get the veggie smoothie
runs like Mr. Spinnoli?
357
00:16:38,495 --> 00:16:40,228
I can't show my face.
358
00:16:40,230 --> 00:16:42,362
Deb, is this about your zit?
359
00:16:42,364 --> 00:16:43,596
Look at how crazy Chelsea's gotten
360
00:16:43,598 --> 00:16:45,666
because she's worried about her looks.
361
00:16:45,668 --> 00:16:48,201
Don't tell me looks don't matter.
362
00:16:48,203 --> 00:16:50,436
My skin was so bad my senior year,
363
00:16:50,438 --> 00:16:53,238
everybody called me Edward James Olmos.
364
00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:55,240
[doo-wop music]
365
00:16:55,242 --> 00:16:56,842
Appearances don't matter
366
00:16:56,844 --> 00:16:59,643
Is what you say to ugly freaks
367
00:16:59,645 --> 00:17:01,880
- Men:
Ooh
-
Of course they matter
368
00:17:01,882 --> 00:17:04,515
But there're so many things
you can tweak
369
00:17:04,517 --> 00:17:06,750
-
So trust me, Debbie Do-Dah
- men:
Ooh oh
370
00:17:06,752 --> 00:17:09,353
-
I have a big bag of tricks
- men:
Ooh, ooh, wah
371
00:17:09,355 --> 00:17:11,787
For every unsightly problem
372
00:17:11,789 --> 00:17:15,156
- Men:
Ooh, wah
-
There's a simple fix
373
00:17:15,158 --> 00:17:19,027
For us women there are
so many tools at the ready
374
00:17:19,029 --> 00:17:21,663
- Men:
Ooh, wah, ah, ah
-
Lasers, BOTOX
375
00:17:21,665 --> 00:17:24,199
Or if it's really big, a machete
376
00:17:24,201 --> 00:17:26,633
- Men:
Ooh, wah, ah, oh
-
Extensions, exfoliants
377
00:17:26,635 --> 00:17:28,835
Tweezers, dye, wax, peels, and Spanx
378
00:17:28,837 --> 00:17:31,104
Men tell you what you need
379
00:17:31,106 --> 00:17:33,973
You don't even have to say thanks
380
00:17:33,975 --> 00:17:35,976
- Men:
Ooh, wah
-
I know right now
381
00:17:35,978 --> 00:17:37,777
That your skin is causing anxiety
382
00:17:37,779 --> 00:17:39,545
Men:
Ooh, wah, ah, ah
383
00:17:39,547 --> 00:17:43,415
For that we must thank
patriarchal society
384
00:17:43,417 --> 00:17:45,651
So come out Debbie Do-Dah
385
00:17:45,653 --> 00:17:48,286
You can still have all of your kicks
386
00:17:48,288 --> 00:17:52,123
For every unsightly problem
387
00:17:52,125 --> 00:17:54,624
There's a simple fix
388
00:17:54,626 --> 00:17:58,763
Men:
Woo
389
00:17:59,965 --> 00:18:02,230
I'm sure it's much better already.
390
00:18:02,232 --> 00:18:04,534
If not, I've got some zit cream.
391
00:18:04,536 --> 00:18:06,835
Let's take a look.
392
00:18:06,837 --> 00:18:08,905
It's okay.
393
00:18:10,441 --> 00:18:11,972
That's it.
394
00:18:11,974 --> 00:18:12,908
[ominous music]
395
00:18:12,910 --> 00:18:15,209
Back! Back to the shadows!
396
00:18:15,211 --> 00:18:17,680
397
00:18:21,017 --> 00:18:22,347
Hot Platonic Friend.
398
00:18:22,349 --> 00:18:24,717
Hello, there. [laughs]
399
00:18:24,719 --> 00:18:25,884
I haven't seen you all week,
400
00:18:25,886 --> 00:18:27,354
but apparently lunch is cancelled,
401
00:18:27,356 --> 00:18:28,621
so I'm gonna head home.
402
00:18:28,623 --> 00:18:31,123
Listen, there's...
403
00:18:31,125 --> 00:18:34,258
Something I want to tell you
but it's not easy to say
404
00:18:34,260 --> 00:18:37,126
I'm not a forward person,
I would rather run away
405
00:18:37,128 --> 00:18:40,230
When I share my feelings,
it makes me very antsy
406
00:18:40,232 --> 00:18:41,632
I sweat, I giggle, I freak out
407
00:18:41,634 --> 00:18:43,568
I want to poop my pantsy
408
00:18:45,094 --> 00:18:46,595
I don't know why I said that
409
00:18:46,597 --> 00:18:48,062
I have never pooped my pants
410
00:18:48,064 --> 00:18:49,397
Oh, God, I can't stop talking
411
00:18:49,399 --> 00:18:51,365
Do not think I've pooped my pants
412
00:18:51,367 --> 00:18:53,867
All I want to say is...
413
00:18:53,869 --> 00:18:55,636
ML? I need you.
414
00:18:55,638 --> 00:18:57,003
I have to cover my body in lotion
415
00:18:57,005 --> 00:18:59,105
and wrap it in plastic wrap
for 24 hours.
416
00:18:59,107 --> 00:19:01,808
I've read it can take
up to an inch off my waist.
417
00:19:01,810 --> 00:19:04,145
Not... now.
418
00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:07,546
Oh, my God. You two make Jane Austen
419
00:19:07,548 --> 00:19:09,749
look like a one-night stand.
420
00:19:09,751 --> 00:19:10,915
Okay.
421
00:19:10,917 --> 00:19:12,349
[both laugh sheepishly]
422
00:19:12,351 --> 00:19:14,451
So what was it that
you were gonna tell me?
423
00:19:14,453 --> 00:19:15,752
Right. [sighs]
424
00:19:15,754 --> 00:19:17,721
I was just about to get
to the important part.
425
00:19:17,723 --> 00:19:19,490
Well, there's...
426
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:22,959
Something I want to tell you
but it's not easy to say
427
00:19:22,961 --> 00:19:25,928
I'm not a forward person,
I would rather run away
428
00:19:25,930 --> 00:19:28,164
When I have to share feelings
it makes me very antsy...
429
00:19:28,166 --> 00:19:30,031
Mary Louise, if you see Deb,
can you tell her
430
00:19:30,033 --> 00:19:32,934
that she's still beautiful...
on the inside?
431
00:19:32,936 --> 00:19:34,836
- Thanks.
- What?
432
00:19:34,838 --> 00:19:36,637
Okay, Mary Louise,
what were you gonna tell me?
433
00:19:36,639 --> 00:19:37,739
Let me start from the beginning.
434
00:19:37,741 --> 00:19:38,772
Or you could just skip ahead.
435
00:19:38,774 --> 00:19:40,474
Okay. There's...
436
00:19:40,476 --> 00:19:43,475
Something I want to tell you
but it's not easy to say
437
00:19:43,477 --> 00:19:46,379
I'm not a forward person,
I would rather run away
438
00:19:46,381 --> 00:19:48,447
Bennigan, we've got to do something.
439
00:19:48,449 --> 00:19:50,116
I was down for healthier food choices,
440
00:19:50,118 --> 00:19:51,817
but now Chelsea's starving everyone.
441
00:19:51,819 --> 00:19:53,851
We have to start a rebellion.
442
00:19:53,853 --> 00:19:55,419
The children are "Les Mis?rables."
443
00:19:55,421 --> 00:19:59,191
We won't stand for this,
not one day more.
444
00:19:59,193 --> 00:20:00,591
I have to go.
445
00:20:00,593 --> 00:20:03,359
Uh, Mary Louise, wait!
What were you gonna tell me?
446
00:20:03,361 --> 00:20:06,629
[grandiose music]
447
00:20:06,631 --> 00:20:08,700
Do you hear our stomachs growl?
448
00:20:08,702 --> 00:20:10,834
Both:
They refuse to be quiet
449
00:20:10,836 --> 00:20:12,469
All:
They are full of angry sounds
450
00:20:12,471 --> 00:20:14,805
Caused by Chelsea's stupid diet
451
00:20:14,807 --> 00:20:16,772
We are sick of not being heard
452
00:20:16,774 --> 00:20:18,440
We are sick of Chelsea's plans
453
00:20:18,442 --> 00:20:22,578
We need to get our treats,
we need to lift the ban
454
00:20:22,580 --> 00:20:23,772
Eh.
455
00:20:26,349 --> 00:20:29,349
[sobbing]
456
00:20:29,351 --> 00:20:32,518
[sad music]
457
00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:35,923
Am I a bad person
458
00:20:35,925 --> 00:20:38,691
For wanting to look hot?
459
00:20:38,693 --> 00:20:42,293
Am I a bad person
460
00:20:42,295 --> 00:20:44,896
No. [scoffs] That's bullshit.
461
00:20:44,898 --> 00:20:46,196
[tense music]
462
00:20:46,198 --> 00:20:47,398
Stop it!
463
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:49,032
Why can't we all sacrifice our bodies
464
00:20:49,034 --> 00:20:50,902
for societal standards?
465
00:20:50,904 --> 00:20:53,102
-
I will never surrender
-
Snap, you're going down
466
00:20:53,104 --> 00:20:54,771
And all will join me in this feat
467
00:20:54,773 --> 00:20:56,106
-
I will never repent
- all:
Beyond this
468
00:20:56,108 --> 00:20:57,441
Hell juice cleanse
469
00:20:57,443 --> 00:20:59,443
There is more food we want to eat
470
00:20:59,445 --> 00:21:01,309
-
If I die, I'll die slender
- all:
This hunger
471
00:21:01,311 --> 00:21:03,579
-
Can't be quenched
- We'll destroy this awful wench
472
00:21:03,581 --> 00:21:07,648
-
For our...
-
When my last breath is...
473
00:21:07,650 --> 00:21:11,686
- All:
Sweets
-
Spent
474
00:21:11,688 --> 00:21:14,221
What is going on in here?
475
00:21:14,223 --> 00:21:17,924
Ms. Snap, we are getting
parent complaints.
476
00:21:17,926 --> 00:21:19,225
Children are starving,
477
00:21:19,227 --> 00:21:21,194
and apparently, so are the teachers.
478
00:21:21,196 --> 00:21:23,129
Starting now, lunch is back
479
00:21:23,131 --> 00:21:25,598
and the old lunch plan is reinstated!
480
00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:26,633
[all cheering] Burgers!
481
00:21:26,635 --> 00:21:28,500
- Oh, fries!
- Pizza!
482
00:21:28,502 --> 00:21:30,034
Victory is ours.
483
00:21:30,036 --> 00:21:32,738
No. You can't do this to me!
484
00:21:32,740 --> 00:21:36,406
Chelsea, there's
a four-year-old inside of you
485
00:21:36,408 --> 00:21:40,256
who's been starving
for the last 27 years.
486
00:21:41,313 --> 00:21:42,480
[soft music]
487
00:21:42,482 --> 00:21:45,417
[quavering breaths]
488
00:21:47,519 --> 00:21:49,385
[groans]
489
00:21:49,387 --> 00:21:50,386
Mmm.
490
00:21:50,388 --> 00:21:52,253
[sobs]
491
00:21:52,255 --> 00:21:53,688
[sniffs]
492
00:21:53,690 --> 00:21:55,257
This tastes like love.
493
00:21:55,259 --> 00:21:57,992
Yeah. It's a hamburger.
494
00:21:57,994 --> 00:21:59,594
All:
Gravy, Gravy, Gravy, Gravy
495
00:21:59,596 --> 00:22:01,162
Gravy, Gravy, Gravy, Gravy
496
00:22:01,164 --> 00:22:03,764
-
Lunchtime is the best time
-
Ah, ah, ah
497
00:22:03,766 --> 00:22:06,433
All:
Coming here is such a treat
498
00:22:06,435 --> 00:22:08,934
Lunchtime is once again
the best time
499
00:22:08,936 --> 00:22:11,104
We only have one job
500
00:22:11,106 --> 00:22:15,241
And that's eat
501
00:22:15,243 --> 00:22:19,245
Oh! Son of a nut sack! My good cheek!
502
00:22:22,199 --> 00:22:23,532
Hey.
503
00:22:23,534 --> 00:22:26,194
I'm done volunteering for the week.
504
00:22:26,936 --> 00:22:29,839
So headin' out.
505
00:22:33,074 --> 00:22:34,707
I wanted to be kissed.
506
00:22:34,709 --> 00:22:36,008
[soft music]
507
00:22:36,010 --> 00:22:39,177
That's what I was trying to say.
508
00:22:39,179 --> 00:22:42,850
What you did wasn't
inappropriate at all.
509
00:22:43,450 --> 00:22:46,466
I've always...
510
00:22:47,287 --> 00:22:48,619
liked you.
511
00:22:48,621 --> 00:22:49,620
512
00:22:49,622 --> 00:22:51,755
Hey! There you are.
513
00:22:51,757 --> 00:22:53,158
Sharon.
514
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:54,725
I've been waiting in the parking lot.
515
00:22:54,727 --> 00:22:56,792
You said you'd drive me
to the good casino in Joliet.
516
00:22:56,794 --> 00:22:58,396
Who is this?
517
00:22:58,398 --> 00:23:00,063
Oh. His wife.
518
00:23:00,065 --> 00:23:01,564
And you must be Ms. Brannigan.
519
00:23:01,566 --> 00:23:04,167
Blake has told me so much about you.
520
00:23:04,169 --> 00:23:06,129
It's Bennigan.
521
00:23:06,603 --> 00:23:07,936
Let's go.
522
00:23:07,938 --> 00:23:09,705
What's going on with that uniform?
523
00:23:09,707 --> 00:23:11,372
[purrs] You look like a Nazi.
524
00:23:11,374 --> 00:23:12,440
[laughs]
525
00:23:12,442 --> 00:23:14,610
Mary Louise, I figured out
526
00:23:14,612 --> 00:23:16,310
how I can still fit into a size four.
527
00:23:16,312 --> 00:23:18,478
[chuckles] Pajama Jeans.
528
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:19,513
[laughs]
529
00:23:19,515 --> 00:23:20,781
Look at 'em go.
530
00:23:20,783 --> 00:23:21,882
[laughs]
531
00:23:21,884 --> 00:23:23,516
These things are great.
532
00:23:23,518 --> 00:23:24,919
[sobs quietly]
533
00:23:24,969 --> 00:23:29,519
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