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1
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( theme music playing )
2
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MAN:
Yo! Cab!
3
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Taxi!
4
00:01:30,162 --> 00:01:33,095
Where to?
5
00:01:34,590 --> 00:01:36,523
51st street, please.
6
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Oh, right.
7
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Do you mind the dog
being in the cab, do you?
8
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No. He doesn't mind me
being in it, does he?
9
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Don't worry about him.
10
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He's very well trained.
11
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He just got out
of obedience school.
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I take him everywhere with me.
13
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I just won him in a poker game
a few weeks back.
14
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It's a beautiful dog, isn't he?
15
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Yeah, he sure is beautiful.
16
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Name is Hamlet.
17
00:02:00,793 --> 00:02:03,359
You can probably guess
why I call him Hamlet.
18
00:02:03,389 --> 00:02:06,489
Grew up in a small town?
19
00:02:06,519 --> 00:02:09,352
No. Because he's
a Great Dane.
20
00:02:09,383 --> 00:02:13,117
You know, Hamlet,
the Dane in the play.
21
00:02:13,145 --> 00:02:15,112
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Very intelligent dog, too.
23
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Watch, I'll show you.
24
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Speak, Hamlet. Speak.
25
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Come on, Hamlet, speak.
26
00:02:26,164 --> 00:02:28,164
Come on, Hamlet, speak.
27
00:02:28,227 --> 00:02:33,460
"O, what a rogue
and peasant slave am I!"
28
00:02:33,488 --> 00:02:37,422
Come on, Hamlet, speak,
you stupid dog.
29
00:02:37,451 --> 00:02:38,785
Come on, speak!
30
00:02:38,816 --> 00:02:40,649
That's okay. If he thinks
of something to say later on
31
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he can call me.
32
00:02:45,841 --> 00:02:48,075
Uh, it's a buck 65.
33
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There you go.
34
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Ah, that's all right.
35
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Thank you.
36
00:02:52,433 --> 00:02:54,633
You know, he really is
a very smart dog.
37
00:02:54,664 --> 00:02:56,397
I don't know
what's wrong with him today.
38
00:02:56,428 --> 00:02:58,161
Hold out your hand,
he'll give you his paw.
39
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Uh, no, I don't
think I better.
40
00:02:59,824 --> 00:03:01,190
No, no, no.
Come on, hold out your hand,
41
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he'll give you his paw.
42
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Give him your paw, Ham.
43
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I said paw, not floor.
44
00:03:06,650 --> 00:03:07,616
Ah, that's okay.
45
00:03:07,649 --> 00:03:08,749
No, it isn't okay.
46
00:03:08,781 --> 00:03:10,914
Get up from there,
you stupid dog.
47
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Come on,
get up from there! Hey, that's o...
48
00:03:12,477 --> 00:03:13,610
Hey, mister, what
are you doing?
49
00:03:13,642 --> 00:03:15,475
Get up from there.
Well, he's got to learn. Hey, what are...
50
00:03:15,507 --> 00:03:16,540
Get up from there.
51
00:03:16,572 --> 00:03:17,739
( dog whimpers )
Hey, don't hit the dog.
52
00:03:17,770 --> 00:03:19,803
You-- It's my dog.
I'll hit him if I want to.
53
00:03:19,835 --> 00:03:21,601
Get up from there
you stupid dog. Come on, it's my cab.
54
00:03:21,633 --> 00:03:23,432
Don't hit the dog
in my cab. I said, get up from there!
55
00:03:23,464 --> 00:03:24,964
Hey, mister, you hear
what I said? When I tell you to get up
56
00:03:24,997 --> 00:03:26,363
Will you cut it out?
get up from there.
57
00:03:26,394 --> 00:03:27,728
Hey, mister, will you
cut that out? Get up from there,
58
00:03:27,759 --> 00:03:29,359
you stupid dog.
Hey, give me that. Give me that.
59
00:03:29,390 --> 00:03:30,790
What...?
Get out of my cab.
60
00:03:30,823 --> 00:03:31,789
Go on. Get out of here.
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All right.
Come on, Hamlet.
62
00:03:33,919 --> 00:03:35,652
Hamlet, come out here!
63
00:03:35,683 --> 00:03:37,149
Come...!
64
00:03:37,181 --> 00:03:40,247
Hey, you got
my dog in there! ( barking )
65
00:03:40,277 --> 00:03:42,577
( tires screeching )
66
00:03:47,903 --> 00:03:49,502
( brakes screeching )
67
00:03:57,757 --> 00:04:00,591
Hi. It's Bobby Wheeler.
68
00:04:00,621 --> 00:04:01,921
Any messages?
69
00:04:01,954 --> 00:04:04,753
Well, a-are you sure?
70
00:04:04,784 --> 00:04:10,678
Yeah, okay, well,
just check again, all right?
71
00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:12,809
O-okay. Now, listen.
I'm down at the garage.
72
00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:15,206
If anybody calls,
you give them the number.
73
00:04:15,238 --> 00:04:16,238
All right.
74
00:04:22,896 --> 00:04:24,529
Hey, what are you doing, man?
75
00:04:24,561 --> 00:04:25,894
Let me go, Tony.
I got to hit something.
76
00:04:25,927 --> 00:04:26,893
Hey, what are you crazy?
77
00:04:26,925 --> 00:04:28,925
I can see you're upset,
but, uh, don't hit that.
78
00:04:28,955 --> 00:04:30,087
You could really hurt yourself.
79
00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:31,086
Yeah, well,
I don't care, man,
80
00:04:31,119 --> 00:04:32,185
'cause I got to hit something.
81
00:04:32,218 --> 00:04:33,385
All right,
all right. Here.
82
00:04:33,416 --> 00:04:35,783
Hit me. Here,
in the stomach. Go ahead.
83
00:04:35,814 --> 00:04:36,881
I can't do that.
84
00:04:36,913 --> 00:04:39,412
Come on, don't worry about it.
I'm hard as a rock.
85
00:04:39,442 --> 00:04:40,743
I do 200 sit-ups a day.
86
00:04:40,775 --> 00:04:42,775
I go to the gym, guys
hit me all the time.
87
00:04:42,806 --> 00:04:44,640
It's part of my training.
Go ahead. Go ahead.
88
00:04:44,670 --> 00:04:45,970
You're sure now, right?
89
00:04:46,003 --> 00:04:47,335
Go ahead. Hard as
you can. Go ahead.
90
00:04:48,366 --> 00:04:50,199
Oh, Tony!
I'm sorry.
91
00:04:50,230 --> 00:04:52,631
Are you okay?
92
00:04:52,661 --> 00:04:54,060
I'm fine. I'm fine.
93
00:04:54,093 --> 00:04:57,560
Hey, listen, if it makes you
feel any better,
94
00:04:57,589 --> 00:04:58,623
I feel great.
95
00:04:58,654 --> 00:05:00,988
Great.
Anytime I can help.
96
00:05:01,017 --> 00:05:03,384
I'm really sorry.
I'm really sorry, Tony.
97
00:05:03,415 --> 00:05:04,482
Hey, hey, John?
98
00:05:04,514 --> 00:05:05,847
John, don't use
that phone, okay?
99
00:05:07,177 --> 00:05:09,511
John, I said
don't use that phone!
100
00:05:15,869 --> 00:05:17,468
LOUIE:
Hey, Bob.
101
00:05:17,499 --> 00:05:20,899
Is it all right if
John uses the toilet?
102
00:05:20,929 --> 00:05:22,762
Just lay off, Louie, okay?
103
00:05:22,794 --> 00:05:25,260
I got a lot of things
on my mind.
104
00:05:25,290 --> 00:05:26,624
Hi, boys.
105
00:05:26,656 --> 00:05:27,923
Hi, Alex.
106
00:05:27,954 --> 00:05:29,053
Hi.
107
00:05:29,085 --> 00:05:30,586
Hey, listen, um, could
you do me a favor?
108
00:05:30,618 --> 00:05:32,651
Yeah?
I'm expecting a call any minute, you know.
109
00:05:32,683 --> 00:05:34,115
And could you wait with me?
110
00:05:34,146 --> 00:05:35,813
'Cause I don't want to
be alone when I get it.
111
00:05:35,846 --> 00:05:37,479
Yeah, sure.
What kind of phone call?
112
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Well, you see...
113
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LATKA:
Alex. Yo.
114
00:05:40,005 --> 00:05:42,806
I find...
I find in your cab.
115
00:05:42,838 --> 00:05:44,037
Yeah, I know.
116
00:05:44,068 --> 00:05:46,469
Oh, my gosh.
Look at him.
117
00:05:46,499 --> 00:05:48,098
Wow. Where'd you find him?
118
00:05:48,130 --> 00:05:49,464
I took him away from
some guy in my cab.
119
00:05:49,496 --> 00:05:50,962
He was whipping him
with his leash.
120
00:05:50,993 --> 00:05:53,327
Hey, you shouldn't do that, boy.
You could hurt somebody.
121
00:05:53,357 --> 00:05:54,658
ALEX:
Not him.
122
00:05:54,690 --> 00:05:56,490
Hey, Alex...
123
00:05:56,520 --> 00:05:57,487
He's so gorgeous.
124
00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:58,754
What's his name?
125
00:05:58,785 --> 00:05:59,752
Alex, you see,
this phone call...
126
00:05:59,784 --> 00:06:01,050
His name is Hamlet.
127
00:06:01,081 --> 00:06:02,382
Are you going to him?
128
00:06:02,414 --> 00:06:03,381
Well, I guess so.
129
00:06:03,413 --> 00:06:04,914
Till I can find
a better home for him.
130
00:06:04,944 --> 00:06:08,311
Hey, Latka, will you do me a
favor and get Hamlet some water?
131
00:06:08,340 --> 00:06:11,140
Come on.
Oh, I'm sorry, Bobby.
132
00:06:11,171 --> 00:06:13,571
Uh, you were telling me
about this phone call.
133
00:06:13,601 --> 00:06:14,568
Yeah, it...
Hey, so what's doing here?
134
00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:15,901
Are we getting
breakfast or what?
135
00:06:15,931 --> 00:06:17,432
Hey, what's this phone call
you're waiting for?
136
00:06:17,463 --> 00:06:19,929
It's about an acting job.
137
00:06:19,959 --> 00:06:20,727
Oh...
138
00:06:20,759 --> 00:06:21,925
Yeah, I'm up for the lead
139
00:06:21,958 --> 00:06:23,225
in an off-broadway play.
140
00:06:23,257 --> 00:06:24,590
That's something.
All right!
141
00:06:24,622 --> 00:06:25,954
Yeah, but the thing is
142
00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:27,753
it's down between me
and two other guys
143
00:06:27,786 --> 00:06:30,218
and they said they'd let me know
this morning. So...
144
00:06:30,249 --> 00:06:31,749
Stuff like that's
always happening to you.
145
00:06:31,781 --> 00:06:33,113
This is special?
146
00:06:33,145 --> 00:06:36,145
Yeah. See, that's why I wanted
to talk to you, Alex.
147
00:06:36,175 --> 00:06:38,941
I've got this whole
thing like, I...
148
00:06:40,902 --> 00:06:42,469
All right, all right.
Everybody sit down.
149
00:06:42,501 --> 00:06:43,501
I'll tell you
150
00:06:47,095 --> 00:06:49,396
See, when I first came
to New York...
151
00:06:49,427 --> 00:06:50,926
Where did you
come from, Bobby?
152
00:06:50,958 --> 00:06:52,258
The Bronx.
153
00:06:55,086 --> 00:06:58,754
I made this deal with myself.
154
00:06:58,783 --> 00:07:00,850
I mean, I knew how
there were thousands
155
00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:02,480
of starving actors here
156
00:07:02,512 --> 00:07:05,045
and how it's a rotten life
and how very few make it
157
00:07:05,075 --> 00:07:07,542
and how you can get old trying,
you know?
158
00:07:07,573 --> 00:07:09,639
So I gave myself
a strict time limit.
159
00:07:09,670 --> 00:07:11,269
Three years.
160
00:07:11,302 --> 00:07:12,901
Three years to get started
as an actor.
161
00:07:12,932 --> 00:07:15,165
Now, I promised myself,
if in that amount of time
162
00:07:15,197 --> 00:07:16,963
if I didn't get
a paid acting job
163
00:07:16,994 --> 00:07:19,829
I'd give it up,
get a regular full-time job
164
00:07:19,858 --> 00:07:21,459
and never think
about acting again.
165
00:07:21,489 --> 00:07:23,389
I mean a guy
can't go on
166
00:07:23,420 --> 00:07:24,554
like I've been doing forever.
167
00:07:24,586 --> 00:07:26,586
You know, beating my brains out
here six nights a week.
168
00:07:26,617 --> 00:07:29,050
Spending my days trying out for
something that might not happen.
169
00:07:29,081 --> 00:07:30,815
I mean, there's got
to be a limit.
170
00:07:30,845 --> 00:07:32,546
I figured three years.
171
00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:35,210
I mean, how could I not get a
job in three years, you know?
172
00:07:39,102 --> 00:07:41,669
Three years are up today.
173
00:07:41,700 --> 00:07:44,199
I mean, my life is riding
on this job, you know?
174
00:07:44,230 --> 00:07:46,497
I got to get this part, Alex.
175
00:07:46,528 --> 00:07:48,494
You see, that's-that's why
I wanted you to be with me.
176
00:07:48,526 --> 00:07:49,693
Yeah, I know.
Well, listen...
177
00:07:49,724 --> 00:07:52,324
'Cause you know how
much I want to act.
178
00:07:52,354 --> 00:07:56,587
It's the only thing
in the world that...
179
00:07:56,616 --> 00:07:58,815
that really matters to me.
180
00:07:58,846 --> 00:07:59,846
Yeah, I know...
181
00:07:59,878 --> 00:08:00,911
I mean, if they call
up and they tell me
182
00:08:00,944 --> 00:08:02,512
that they're gonna pick
one of those other guys,
183
00:08:02,543 --> 00:08:04,209
Alex, I don't know
what I'm going to do.
184
00:08:04,241 --> 00:08:05,408
W-What are you going to do?
185
00:08:05,439 --> 00:08:07,272
So, they pick another guy. I
mean, It's not the world, is it?
186
00:08:07,304 --> 00:08:09,903
MAN:
All right, I want my dog.
187
00:08:09,933 --> 00:08:10,933
Where's my dog?
188
00:08:10,965 --> 00:08:12,265
I'll right back to you,
Bobby.
189
00:08:12,298 --> 00:08:13,431
I got to deal
with this guy first.
190
00:08:13,463 --> 00:08:15,664
Come on, where is he?
Hamlet?!
191
00:08:15,695 --> 00:08:16,695
Hamlet?!
192
00:08:16,726 --> 00:08:17,925
Oh, there he is.
193
00:08:17,957 --> 00:08:19,591
Would you give me
that dog, please?
194
00:08:19,623 --> 00:08:20,757
What dog?
195
00:08:20,787 --> 00:08:21,755
Well, that dog.
196
00:08:21,786 --> 00:08:22,919
That's my dog.
197
00:08:22,952 --> 00:08:25,352
I don't see any dog.
What dog are you talking about?
198
00:08:25,384 --> 00:08:26,651
ELAINE:
Yeah, I don't see any dog either.
199
00:08:26,681 --> 00:08:27,947
Dog? What dog?
200
00:08:27,979 --> 00:08:30,613
Hey, Fred, do you see a dog?
What dog?
201
00:08:30,644 --> 00:08:32,010
There isn't
any dog here.
202
00:08:32,042 --> 00:08:33,075
Oh, I get it.
203
00:08:33,107 --> 00:08:34,240
You guys are looking
for trouble, huh?
204
00:08:34,272 --> 00:08:35,438
LOUIE:
Hey!
205
00:08:35,472 --> 00:08:36,804
What's going on out here?
206
00:08:36,836 --> 00:08:38,737
Are you in charge here?
207
00:08:40,298 --> 00:08:42,632
Do old ladies get mugged?
208
00:08:44,461 --> 00:08:49,394
Well, that dog is my dog,
and I want him now.
209
00:08:49,421 --> 00:08:52,054
Hey, Louie, we don't know
what this guy's talking about.
210
00:08:52,085 --> 00:08:54,452
You don't see
no dog here, do ya?
211
00:08:54,483 --> 00:08:58,250
Uh... yeah...
I got something in my eyes.
212
00:08:58,278 --> 00:08:59,545
I can't see anything.
213
00:08:59,577 --> 00:09:01,876
I can't see if there's
a dog here or not.
214
00:09:01,907 --> 00:09:02,974
Anybody got a dollar bill
215
00:09:03,005 --> 00:09:05,938
I could wipe the sweat
out of my eyes?
216
00:09:05,970 --> 00:09:08,036
ALEX:
Here, Louie.
217
00:09:08,067 --> 00:09:12,200
There's no dog here, mister.
218
00:09:12,229 --> 00:09:14,895
You guys think
you're pretty cute, don't you?
219
00:09:14,925 --> 00:09:16,858
Well, you'd better
give me that dog
220
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:18,524
and you'd better
give him to me right now,
221
00:09:18,555 --> 00:09:19,788
because if you don't,
222
00:09:19,819 --> 00:09:22,019
I'm going straight from here
to the police.
223
00:09:22,051 --> 00:09:22,917
Oh...
224
00:09:22,950 --> 00:09:23,916
Now, does anybody want
225
00:09:23,948 --> 00:09:25,114
to talk to me about that or not?
226
00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:26,747
Sure, you want somebody
to talk to you?
227
00:09:26,778 --> 00:09:27,978
MAN:
Yeah. Latka.
228
00:09:31,872 --> 00:09:33,705
Hi.
229
00:09:33,736 --> 00:09:39,003
( speaking native language )
230
00:09:41,794 --> 00:09:43,261
Go, Latka!
231
00:09:43,293 --> 00:09:45,725
( phone ringing )
232
00:09:54,213 --> 00:09:55,513
Hi.
233
00:09:55,546 --> 00:09:56,845
Yeah, yeah.
234
00:09:56,877 --> 00:09:58,545
This is Bobby Wheeler.
235
00:10:01,539 --> 00:10:04,838
Uh, no, uh...
that's okay, you know.
236
00:10:04,867 --> 00:10:09,535
Right. I-I-I, uh...
I appreciate the call, really.
237
00:10:11,727 --> 00:10:13,727
( sighing )
238
00:10:24,711 --> 00:10:27,711
I didn't get the part, Hamlet.
239
00:10:38,196 --> 00:10:40,662
Here are my
bookings, Louie.
240
00:10:40,693 --> 00:10:42,160
( barking )
241
00:10:42,192 --> 00:10:43,658
( laughing )
242
00:10:43,689 --> 00:10:45,655
That's a good Hamlet.
243
00:10:45,688 --> 00:10:46,821
That's good, Hamlet.
244
00:10:46,853 --> 00:10:47,886
Hey, Louie... Louie...
245
00:10:47,918 --> 00:10:49,052
for God's sake, man,
it's my turn.
246
00:10:49,083 --> 00:10:50,117
Let me have him, huh?
247
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:52,484
All right, All right.
248
00:10:52,514 --> 00:10:54,514
I'll let you have him,
249
00:10:54,544 --> 00:10:57,077
but only 'cause your dreams
are crashing around you.
250
00:10:57,108 --> 00:10:58,408
Thanks.
251
00:10:58,439 --> 00:10:59,839
Good boy.
252
00:10:59,871 --> 00:11:01,371
Good boy. Yeah.
253
00:11:01,404 --> 00:11:05,003
( groans )
254
00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:07,566
Hey, Bobby, listen,
don't worry about it.
255
00:11:07,595 --> 00:11:09,895
Everything's going
to be okay.
256
00:11:09,926 --> 00:11:12,393
Will you stop talking
to him like that, Elaine?
257
00:11:12,423 --> 00:11:14,156
How is everything be okay?
258
00:11:14,188 --> 00:11:15,720
Look, I don't know
much about acting,
259
00:11:15,753 --> 00:11:17,653
but what I do know is,
if you want a good job
260
00:11:17,683 --> 00:11:20,150
you got to go
stand in line.
261
00:11:20,181 --> 00:11:23,114
If you want to find a good job
acting, find a line to stand in.
262
00:11:24,243 --> 00:11:25,643
Bobby, you're
not going to get anywhere
263
00:11:25,675 --> 00:11:27,176
sitting here
feeling sorry for yourself.
264
00:11:28,771 --> 00:11:31,238
BOBBY:
Damn it, Alex, you're right.
265
00:11:31,268 --> 00:11:33,334
There's still 14 hours to gobefore midnight.
266
00:11:33,366 --> 00:11:36,399
I'm gonna knock on every doorin New York if I have to.
267
00:11:36,430 --> 00:11:37,762
I don't care what it is--
268
00:11:37,794 --> 00:11:40,161
bit part, commercial, walk-on--
269
00:11:40,191 --> 00:11:42,158
but I'm going to get something.
270
00:11:46,351 --> 00:11:47,317
Hi, Tom.
271
00:11:47,350 --> 00:11:48,316
Hi, Bobby.
272
00:11:48,349 --> 00:11:49,482
Oh, gee, thanks a lot.
273
00:11:49,514 --> 00:11:51,380
I can't tell you how much
I appreciate it. Really.
274
00:11:51,412 --> 00:11:52,412
Oh, don't mention it.
275
00:11:52,445 --> 00:11:53,412
Now, it's just a lucky thing
276
00:11:53,444 --> 00:11:54,910
that you happened
to come by today. Yeah.
277
00:11:54,940 --> 00:11:56,907
Now, look, Bobby, you do
understand that the director
278
00:11:56,938 --> 00:11:58,838
is doing the casting
on the commercial.
279
00:11:58,870 --> 00:12:00,337
I can't influence him
for you.
280
00:12:00,368 --> 00:12:01,701
Yeah, of course,
but, you know,
281
00:12:01,732 --> 00:12:04,400
any tips on how I might
be able to catch his eye?
282
00:12:04,430 --> 00:12:07,096
Just, uh, be yourself.
283
00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:08,926
I better go rehearse a little.
Okay.
284
00:12:16,982 --> 00:12:18,582
MAN:
Tom?
285
00:12:27,803 --> 00:12:29,503
Tom, okay, I'm ready.
286
00:12:29,534 --> 00:12:31,369
Everybody, everybody,
287
00:12:31,399 --> 00:12:33,032
this is Peter Nicholson
our director.
288
00:12:33,064 --> 00:12:34,264
Thank you.
289
00:12:34,296 --> 00:12:35,396
Okay, now, I'm sure
you're all familiar
290
00:12:35,428 --> 00:12:36,728
with this commercial.
291
00:12:36,759 --> 00:12:38,892
I'd like Tom over here.
Yeah.
292
00:12:38,924 --> 00:12:41,657
And I'd like you all to form
a loose semicircle behind him
293
00:12:41,686 --> 00:12:43,519
with your backs
towards him, please.
294
00:12:43,552 --> 00:12:44,518
Okay?
295
00:12:44,550 --> 00:12:46,017
Now I will cue Tom
296
00:12:46,049 --> 00:12:49,515
and I want you
to react naturally for me, okay?
297
00:12:49,545 --> 00:12:51,545
And... Tom.
298
00:12:51,575 --> 00:12:56,042
"My broker is EF Hutton,
and EF Hutton says... "
299
00:12:59,367 --> 00:13:00,566
PETER:
Great!
300
00:13:00,598 --> 00:13:01,598
Okay, thank you.
301
00:13:01,631 --> 00:13:03,165
We'll be in touch.
302
00:13:07,690 --> 00:13:08,856
Thank you.
303
00:13:09,888 --> 00:13:12,854
Uh... Tom,
h-how did I do?
304
00:13:12,885 --> 00:13:15,584
You did fine, just fine,
Bobby, really.
305
00:13:15,614 --> 00:13:17,514
You, uh, think I got a shot?
306
00:13:17,545 --> 00:13:19,445
Yeah, you got a shot!
307
00:13:19,476 --> 00:13:21,210
Gees, thanks, Tom.
308
00:13:43,150 --> 00:13:44,549
( chimes tinkling )
309
00:13:44,581 --> 00:13:45,547
I'll be right there in a minute.
310
00:13:45,580 --> 00:13:47,014
I'll be right there,
right there.
311
00:13:47,045 --> 00:13:48,511
( chimes tinkling )
312
00:13:48,543 --> 00:13:50,344
All right, coming, coming.
313
00:13:50,375 --> 00:13:51,841
Hey, come on in.
314
00:13:51,873 --> 00:13:53,340
Hey, did you get the commercial?
315
00:13:53,372 --> 00:13:54,838
Hey, did you get
your commercial?
316
00:13:54,869 --> 00:13:56,336
Just wait
a minute.
317
00:13:56,368 --> 00:13:58,767
Are you going
to tell us or not?
318
00:13:58,798 --> 00:14:00,765
Well, wait till
everybody's inside.
319
00:14:00,795 --> 00:14:03,129
ELAINE:
Did you get it?
320
00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:04,361
I didn't get it!
321
00:14:04,392 --> 00:14:05,293
( all cheering )
322
00:14:05,324 --> 00:14:06,291
What?
323
00:14:06,323 --> 00:14:07,823
What?
324
00:14:07,854 --> 00:14:09,654
So what are we
celebrating, then?
325
00:14:09,685 --> 00:14:10,752
Oh. Well...
326
00:14:10,783 --> 00:14:12,251
My first acting job.
327
00:14:12,283 --> 00:14:13,983
Oh...
328
00:14:14,014 --> 00:14:15,780
You got your first
acting job?
329
00:14:15,812 --> 00:14:16,912
Not yet!
330
00:14:16,944 --> 00:14:18,477
Yay!
Yay! Yay!
331
00:14:18,508 --> 00:14:19,976
What?
332
00:14:20,007 --> 00:14:22,707
What is this, some kind
of a new party game here?
333
00:14:22,737 --> 00:14:25,137
Hey, it's okay
that I didn't get a job,
334
00:14:25,169 --> 00:14:27,035
because I'm going to get one.
335
00:14:27,066 --> 00:14:28,099
( cheering )
336
00:14:28,131 --> 00:14:29,198
Wait a minute.
Are you sure?
337
00:14:29,231 --> 00:14:30,563
Oh, positive.
338
00:14:30,596 --> 00:14:31,562
( soft cheering )
339
00:14:31,594 --> 00:14:34,493
And it's gonna be
before midnight tonight.
340
00:14:34,524 --> 00:14:35,824
Come on,
I'll tell you all about it.
341
00:14:35,856 --> 00:14:36,922
Let's everybody
have a drink.
342
00:14:36,954 --> 00:14:38,120
Yeah, let's have a drink.
343
00:14:38,154 --> 00:14:39,954
Hey, Latka, come on.
Let's go. Come on, come on.
344
00:14:39,984 --> 00:14:41,383
( mumbling )
345
00:14:41,415 --> 00:14:43,249
Okay, all right,
somebody make a toast
346
00:14:43,281 --> 00:14:44,714
and we're set.
Okay, um...
347
00:14:44,744 --> 00:14:46,111
Toast, toast.
348
00:14:46,144 --> 00:14:47,376
Eh...
349
00:14:47,408 --> 00:14:52,641
( speaking native language )
350
00:14:52,669 --> 00:14:54,203
No, no.
351
00:14:54,234 --> 00:14:56,767
Everybody must do toast.
352
00:14:58,096 --> 00:15:00,863
( all speaking native language )
353
00:15:00,893 --> 00:15:02,793
No, no, no, no.
354
00:15:02,825 --> 00:15:04,858
( speakingnative language )
355
00:15:04,888 --> 00:15:06,688
( all repeating )
356
00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:08,121
No, no, no.
357
00:15:08,152 --> 00:15:09,752
( changing words )
358
00:15:09,782 --> 00:15:12,949
Latka, if you don't mind,
I'll make the toast.
359
00:15:14,444 --> 00:15:15,711
To Bobby's new job.
360
00:15:15,743 --> 00:15:16,876
Hear, hear.
361
00:15:16,908 --> 00:15:18,808
Ni-nice toast.
362
00:15:20,237 --> 00:15:22,503
Okay, come on, come on.
Everybody, sit down.
363
00:15:22,535 --> 00:15:24,768
Yeah, come on.
Okay.
364
00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:27,066
ELAINE:
Well, Bobby, why don't you just tell us
365
00:15:27,097 --> 00:15:28,296
about the job
you're going to get.
366
00:15:28,327 --> 00:15:29,995
Oh, well...
367
00:15:30,027 --> 00:15:32,727
When I found out I didn't get
the commercial this morning
368
00:15:32,757 --> 00:15:33,991
I really started hustling.
369
00:15:34,022 --> 00:15:36,189
I went into every
casting office in this town.
370
00:15:36,220 --> 00:15:37,953
Some guys even
had me read for parts, you know?
371
00:15:37,985 --> 00:15:40,618
And that's pretty good when
you're going in cold, you know.
372
00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:41,848
Yeah, I'll say.
373
00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:42,880
Who am I kidding?
374
00:15:42,911 --> 00:15:44,477
That's great when
you're going in cold!
375
00:15:44,509 --> 00:15:46,675
And some of them even told me
that I was in the running.
376
00:15:46,708 --> 00:15:48,674
So one of them
should come through, right?
377
00:15:48,705 --> 00:15:50,239
Sure.
378
00:15:50,269 --> 00:15:52,503
I'm gonna get a call on my phone
before midnight tonight
379
00:15:52,534 --> 00:15:54,168
when the three years are up,
380
00:15:54,198 --> 00:15:56,031
and I'm not going to have
to give up acting.
381
00:15:56,064 --> 00:15:58,463
Oh, you know, it's just so great
382
00:15:58,494 --> 00:15:59,927
when you know it
in your heart, man.
383
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,325
You don't have
to sweat it anymore.
384
00:16:01,356 --> 00:16:02,890
( soft agreements )
385
00:16:02,921 --> 00:16:04,554
Well, maybe somebody
is going to call you, Bobby,
386
00:16:04,587 --> 00:16:06,453
but how do you know they're
gonna call before midnight?
387
00:16:06,485 --> 00:16:08,284
Well, that's simple logic.
388
00:16:08,315 --> 00:16:10,915
You see, when you're
good at something
389
00:16:10,947 --> 00:16:13,780
you end up doing it.
390
00:16:13,809 --> 00:16:15,143
Now, I'm not going
to end up acting
391
00:16:15,174 --> 00:16:17,674
unless I get a phone call
before midnight. So...
392
00:16:17,705 --> 00:16:19,371
I'm gonna get a call
before midnight.
393
00:16:22,766 --> 00:16:24,133
Isn't it wonderful?
394
00:16:24,164 --> 00:16:27,664
I mean, so what if he
doesn't get a call tonight?
395
00:16:27,693 --> 00:16:29,127
He's feeling really
great right now.
396
00:16:29,159 --> 00:16:31,459
Yeah. So what if you're
falling off the cliff?
397
00:16:31,489 --> 00:16:33,556
The view is wonderful
on the way down.
398
00:16:33,586 --> 00:16:34,886
What does that mean?
399
00:16:34,919 --> 00:16:36,218
Somebody better tell this guy
400
00:16:36,249 --> 00:16:38,383
that he's setting himself up
for too big a fall.
401
00:16:38,413 --> 00:16:39,580
Alex, don't.
402
00:16:39,612 --> 00:16:41,180
Sure. We all leave here
at 11:59
403
00:16:41,211 --> 00:16:42,445
with a song in our heart,
404
00:16:42,476 --> 00:16:44,077
and hope we don't
hear the thud.
405
00:16:44,109 --> 00:16:45,275
I just don't think
it's appropriate
406
00:16:45,306 --> 00:16:46,540
right now.
407
00:16:46,571 --> 00:16:48,871
Hey, uh, what are you guys
talking about?
408
00:16:48,902 --> 00:16:50,268
Nothing. Alex
is just getting a little nervous.
409
00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:52,034
Now come on, Elaine.
I got to tell him what I'm thinking.
410
00:16:52,066 --> 00:16:53,166
I'm his friend.
411
00:16:53,196 --> 00:16:54,164
Hey, don't worry, Alex.
412
00:16:54,229 --> 00:16:55,229
I just explained to you
413
00:16:55,261 --> 00:16:57,394
why I'm gonna get the call
before midnight, right?
414
00:16:57,426 --> 00:16:58,359
Yeah, yeah, I know--
415
00:16:58,391 --> 00:16:59,658
because you're
so good at acting.
416
00:16:59,690 --> 00:17:00,823
Exactly.
417
00:17:00,855 --> 00:17:02,388
Great actors get jobs.
418
00:17:02,420 --> 00:17:03,753
I'm a great actor.
419
00:17:03,786 --> 00:17:06,119
Bobby, we got
to be rational here.
420
00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:07,150
I am being rational.
421
00:17:07,180 --> 00:17:08,247
I'm good.
422
00:17:08,279 --> 00:17:10,613
Good people do what
they're good at and I'm good.
423
00:17:10,643 --> 00:17:11,209
Bobby...
424
00:17:11,242 --> 00:17:12,409
I got to act, Alex,
425
00:17:12,442 --> 00:17:13,509
because I'm good.
426
00:17:13,540 --> 00:17:14,640
Bobby, listen...
427
00:17:14,673 --> 00:17:15,806
I'm good!
428
00:17:15,838 --> 00:17:17,371
Look, just because
someone doesn't call you
429
00:17:17,403 --> 00:17:18,403
by midnight doesn't mean...
430
00:17:18,434 --> 00:17:20,267
The only way that
phone's not gonna ring
431
00:17:20,298 --> 00:17:21,365
before midnight, Alex,
432
00:17:21,398 --> 00:17:22,998
is if I'm not good enough.
433
00:17:23,030 --> 00:17:24,529
And you're not going to tell
me...
434
00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:25,994
Maybe you're not that good.
435
00:17:29,156 --> 00:17:30,223
Yet.
436
00:17:30,254 --> 00:17:31,388
Doesn't mean that
437
00:17:31,419 --> 00:17:33,020
with a little more experience,
you couldn't get there.
438
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,284
All right, Just stop it.
All right?
439
00:17:34,316 --> 00:17:35,449
Now you've said
what you had to say.
440
00:17:35,482 --> 00:17:36,515
Now let me talk, all right?
441
00:17:39,810 --> 00:17:41,710
Well...
442
00:17:41,742 --> 00:17:44,608
When I was six years old,
Alex...
443
00:17:44,638 --> 00:17:46,838
my father died,
444
00:17:46,869 --> 00:17:49,103
and I never had
any older brothers.
445
00:17:49,133 --> 00:17:53,767
Had a couple of older sisters,
but, uh...
446
00:17:53,794 --> 00:17:55,127
till I met you
447
00:17:55,159 --> 00:17:58,159
I don't think there was
ever a man in my life
448
00:17:58,188 --> 00:18:00,089
that I felt was on my side.
449
00:18:00,119 --> 00:18:03,152
I mean, I had lots
of friends and everything,
450
00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:04,450
but I always felt
451
00:18:04,482 --> 00:18:06,816
there was something special
between you and me.
452
00:18:06,846 --> 00:18:10,279
And you
knew that, Alex.
453
00:18:10,308 --> 00:18:13,175
You knew how I...
how I looked up to you
454
00:18:13,205 --> 00:18:16,639
and respected you,
and counted on you.
455
00:18:16,668 --> 00:18:18,168
Oh, come on, Bobby...
456
00:18:18,198 --> 00:18:20,365
Please, just...
let me finish all right?
457
00:18:20,396 --> 00:18:24,296
What you just said just now--
458
00:18:24,326 --> 00:18:28,359
I mean, it would have been okay
coming from a friend,
459
00:18:28,387 --> 00:18:31,087
but not from somebody
I felt about
460
00:18:31,117 --> 00:18:33,685
the way I feel about you.
461
00:18:35,580 --> 00:18:38,112
I don't know
how to tell you, I...
462
00:18:38,142 --> 00:18:40,309
you just hurt
me now, Alex...
463
00:18:40,341 --> 00:18:42,408
Except to say that...
464
00:18:42,437 --> 00:18:44,771
it feels like, uh...
465
00:18:44,802 --> 00:18:48,468
like my father just died again.
466
00:18:48,498 --> 00:18:49,932
Oh, come on, Bobby.
467
00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:52,095
No, it's a little
late for that, man.
468
00:18:52,126 --> 00:18:54,059
I needed you
and you let me down.
469
00:18:54,090 --> 00:18:55,524
I needed you, Alex.
470
00:18:55,557 --> 00:18:57,590
Bobby, Alex is only
trying to...
471
00:18:57,621 --> 00:18:58,988
You stay out of
this, Elaine!
472
00:18:59,020 --> 00:19:01,719
It's between
Alex and me.
473
00:19:01,750 --> 00:19:03,416
There's only one thing
474
00:19:03,447 --> 00:19:05,915
that I want
from you right now, Alex.
475
00:19:05,944 --> 00:19:09,243
And that's for you
to get out of here.
476
00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:12,908
( voice breaking ):
I don't want to see you again.
477
00:19:12,936 --> 00:19:15,003
I don't want to talk to you.
478
00:19:15,033 --> 00:19:17,267
I don't want to know you, man!
479
00:19:17,298 --> 00:19:19,031
Bobby...
480
00:19:19,061 --> 00:19:20,529
All right, come on,
all right?
481
00:19:20,561 --> 00:19:21,828
Just get out, all right?!
482
00:19:21,859 --> 00:19:23,392
Just get the hell
out of here!
483
00:19:29,184 --> 00:19:32,751
You still say I'm
not such a good actor?
484
00:19:46,897 --> 00:19:49,096
Hey, that
was something.
485
00:19:49,127 --> 00:19:50,962
( laughing )
486
00:19:52,958 --> 00:19:55,824
You bastard.
487
00:20:01,514 --> 00:20:03,980
Now, baby, ring.
488
00:20:04,010 --> 00:20:06,845
Come on, ring.
489
00:20:06,874 --> 00:20:09,340
Blap. Blap.
490
00:20:13,700 --> 00:20:16,033
It's two minutes to 12:00,
Bobby.
491
00:20:16,063 --> 00:20:17,897
Yeah, I know what time it is,
Elaine,
492
00:20:17,928 --> 00:20:20,561
but please stop telling me
what time it is.
493
00:20:20,591 --> 00:20:22,291
I mean, it's going to ring
before midnight
494
00:20:22,323 --> 00:20:23,657
and then that's that, you know?
495
00:20:23,688 --> 00:20:26,321
I haven't said this yet,
but it's going to ring.
496
00:20:26,351 --> 00:20:28,318
Okay, now hold it down
497
00:20:28,349 --> 00:20:31,416
because it's, like,
only 40 seconds left.
498
00:20:31,446 --> 00:20:33,679
It's going to ring.
I just know it.
499
00:20:33,710 --> 00:20:34,976
It's going to ring.
500
00:20:40,536 --> 00:20:42,803
Maybe your watch is off.
501
00:20:42,833 --> 00:20:44,166
No.
502
00:20:44,198 --> 00:20:48,532
It has to be by my watch.
503
00:20:48,559 --> 00:20:50,759
Ten, nine,
504
00:20:50,791 --> 00:20:54,524
eight, seven, six,
505
00:20:54,552 --> 00:20:56,852
five, four,
506
00:20:56,884 --> 00:20:58,350
three,
507
00:20:58,381 --> 00:20:59,681
two,
508
00:20:59,714 --> 00:21:01,180
one,
509
00:21:01,210 --> 00:21:02,411
zero.
510
00:21:02,444 --> 00:21:03,644
Zero.
511
00:21:03,675 --> 00:21:05,041
Zero.
512
00:21:09,435 --> 00:21:10,702
Zero.
513
00:21:24,451 --> 00:21:28,917
I-I promised myself
that I'd quit acting...
514
00:21:28,945 --> 00:21:32,479
and get a job in three years.
515
00:21:32,509 --> 00:21:35,509
Well, it's...
it's been three years.
516
00:21:37,502 --> 00:21:38,868
Aw, what the hell.
517
00:21:38,901 --> 00:21:41,469
I'll give myself
another three years.
518
00:21:53,217 --> 00:21:54,784
MAN:
There he is.
519
00:21:54,817 --> 00:21:56,616
That's my dog.
520
00:21:56,648 --> 00:21:58,581
( clearing throat )
521
00:21:58,611 --> 00:21:59,812
Excuse me.
522
00:21:59,844 --> 00:22:01,478
Hamlet, come over here.
523
00:22:01,508 --> 00:22:02,742
( Hamlet growls )
524
00:22:02,774 --> 00:22:04,174
I'll teach you
to growl at me.
525
00:22:04,205 --> 00:22:05,205
Wait till I get you home!
526
00:22:05,237 --> 00:22:06,837
Officer, where
is this insane man
527
00:22:06,868 --> 00:22:07,935
going with my dog?
528
00:22:07,966 --> 00:22:08,933
Your dog?
529
00:22:08,966 --> 00:22:10,900
See, he admits it.
530
00:22:10,931 --> 00:22:13,065
Officer, this is my dog
and I'm taking him.
531
00:22:13,095 --> 00:22:15,828
Officer, this is my dog
and he's not going anywhere.
532
00:22:15,858 --> 00:22:17,693
Why don't you just
stand them at a distance
533
00:22:17,724 --> 00:22:18,856
and let them call the dog?
534
00:22:18,888 --> 00:22:21,021
Whichever one he goes
to gets the dog, right?
535
00:22:21,053 --> 00:22:22,687
This guy ought to run
for borough president.
536
00:22:22,717 --> 00:22:24,816
All right, Officer,
where do I stand?
537
00:22:24,847 --> 00:22:26,415
You stand over there.
Fine.
538
00:22:26,447 --> 00:22:27,781
Where do I stand?
539
00:22:27,844 --> 00:22:29,811
And you stand over there.
540
00:22:35,336 --> 00:22:36,935
Sit, boy.
541
00:22:36,967 --> 00:22:39,200
Now, when I say so,
542
00:22:39,232 --> 00:22:41,098
I want you both
to call the dog's name.
543
00:22:41,129 --> 00:22:42,795
And whichever one he goes to,
that's the dog's owner,
544
00:22:42,827 --> 00:22:43,994
and that's that, okay?
545
00:22:44,026 --> 00:22:44,992
Okay.
546
00:22:45,025 --> 00:22:45,991
Okay.
547
00:22:46,024 --> 00:22:47,124
Okay.
548
00:22:47,155 --> 00:22:48,522
Oh, one second.
549
00:22:57,078 --> 00:22:58,579
Huh?
550
00:23:01,740 --> 00:23:03,573
What was that all about?
551
00:23:03,604 --> 00:23:07,037
I just want to make sure
no one's carrying any meat.
552
00:23:10,462 --> 00:23:12,695
Okay, call the dog.
553
00:23:12,727 --> 00:23:13,693
Hamlet.
554
00:23:13,726 --> 00:23:14,692
Hamlet.
555
00:23:14,724 --> 00:23:15,690
Hamlet.
Hamlet, come here.
556
00:23:15,724 --> 00:23:16,724
Come over here,
Hamlet. Come on, Hamlet.
557
00:23:16,755 --> 00:23:17,755
Hamlet.
Hamlet.
558
00:23:17,786 --> 00:23:19,187
Hamlet, come over here.
559
00:23:19,219 --> 00:23:20,286
Come over here!
560
00:23:20,317 --> 00:23:21,384
Hamlet, come over here!
561
00:23:21,416 --> 00:23:22,483
( muttering )
562
00:23:22,515 --> 00:23:23,582
Come over here!
563
00:23:23,614 --> 00:23:24,980
Wait till I get you.
564
00:23:25,012 --> 00:23:26,079
Come over here.
565
00:23:26,111 --> 00:23:27,678
You come over here!
566
00:23:27,709 --> 00:23:29,675
Come over here
when I tell you.
567
00:23:29,708 --> 00:23:30,840
Come over here.
568
00:23:30,872 --> 00:23:32,039
( all sighing )
569
00:23:32,071 --> 00:23:33,837
Well, I guess
that's that.
570
00:23:33,868 --> 00:23:35,369
Hey, man,
why would he do that?
571
00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:37,234
Go with the guy
that beats him?
572
00:23:45,801 --> 00:23:46,934
( growling )
573
00:23:46,935 --> 00:23:48,534
MAN:
It's his dog! It's his dog!
574
00:23:48,535 --> 00:23:50,035
It's his dog!
575
00:23:50,036 --> 00:23:52,769
( theme music playing )
576
00:24:16,267 --> 00:24:17,967
WOMAN:
Night, Mr. Walters.
577
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:19,167
( grunts )
578
00:24:19,217 --> 00:24:23,767
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