Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,887 --> 00:00:03,113
[ Buzzer, clicking ]
2
00:00:03,113 --> 00:00:05,838
TESSA: Serving time in
Chatswin Penitentiary,
3
00:00:05,838 --> 00:00:08,540
one can almost forget that at some point
4
00:00:08,540 --> 00:00:10,009
your sentence is going to end.
5
00:00:10,009 --> 00:00:11,477
[ Thud ]
6
00:00:11,477 --> 00:00:14,013
Meeting with college admissions officers
7
00:00:14,013 --> 00:00:16,682
almost felt like getting in
front of a parole board.
8
00:00:16,682 --> 00:00:20,586
I stayed clean. I kept to myself, mostly.
9
00:00:20,586 --> 00:00:24,757
I stayed out of trouble,
and I learned a lot
10
00:00:24,757 --> 00:00:28,560
from the experience that I think
will help me on the outside.
11
00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:32,531
I mean... at your fine university.
12
00:00:32,531 --> 00:00:34,500
[ Chuckles ] Okay, Tessa, just relax.
13
00:00:34,500 --> 00:00:37,469
Why don't you tell me,
um, a little bit about
14
00:00:37,469 --> 00:00:39,972
your extracurricular activities?
15
00:00:39,972 --> 00:00:41,006
Right.
16
00:00:41,006 --> 00:00:43,509
Well, I-I held a part-time job
17
00:00:43,509 --> 00:00:46,011
at one of the top crystal
retailers on the East Coast,
18
00:00:46,011 --> 00:00:49,548
leading their sales division
to record earnings.
19
00:00:49,548 --> 00:00:52,851
I performed in a multicultural
world-music band.
20
00:00:52,851 --> 00:00:55,654
I played lead rain stick. Oh.
21
00:00:55,654 --> 00:00:57,589
And when my best friend's family
22
00:00:57,589 --> 00:00:59,525
decided to foster a Cambodian child,
23
00:00:59,525 --> 00:01:01,894
I started an initiative
to help assimilate him
24
00:01:01,894 --> 00:01:05,664
into Chatswin by sometimes
walking him to school.
25
00:01:05,664 --> 00:01:07,833
Very impressive.
26
00:01:07,833 --> 00:01:09,134
I hoped so.
27
00:01:09,134 --> 00:01:10,803
I was doing my best to come off that way
28
00:01:10,803 --> 00:01:13,038
since I knew the competition
would be stiff.
29
00:01:13,038 --> 00:01:16,041
I don't have any curricular activities.
30
00:01:14,941 --> 00:01:17,941
No, your extracurricular activities.
31
00:01:20,546 --> 00:01:21,680
What I'm asking is,
32
00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:24,650
what do you do besides
just going to school?
33
00:01:24,650 --> 00:01:26,819
Oh. Lots.
34
00:01:26,819 --> 00:01:30,656
I'm super into tanning,
nail care, red carpets,
35
00:01:30,656 --> 00:01:34,493
my housekeeper Carmen,
blind items, Brody Jenner,
36
00:01:34,493 --> 00:01:35,994
Bentleys, apps --
37
00:01:35,994 --> 00:01:38,831
Both foodstuffs and the kind on my phone.
38
00:01:38,831 --> 00:01:41,567
- I'm really into Molly.
- Molly?
39
00:01:41,567 --> 00:01:45,170
My friend Molly Benzworth.
We met on a teen tour.
40
00:01:45,170 --> 00:01:47,840
She's hella chill, but she drinks too much.
41
00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:51,176
- Anything else?
- I'd like to be a writer someday.
42
00:01:51,176 --> 00:01:54,847
I love Poe, Carver, Chuck Palahniuk,
43
00:01:54,847 --> 00:01:56,648
A.M. Homes, Kingsolver.
44
00:01:56,648 --> 00:01:58,484
This all sounds wonderful, Tessa.
45
00:01:58,484 --> 00:02:00,586
Is there anything else you want me to know
46
00:02:00,586 --> 00:02:02,054
before we wrap up our little chat?
47
00:02:02,054 --> 00:02:04,890
I like snapchatting,
Skype-chatting, chit-chatting,
48
00:02:04,890 --> 00:02:08,727
and I love, love accessorizing...
49
00:02:08,727 --> 00:02:11,630
- Like so, so much.
- Accessorizing.
50
00:02:11,630 --> 00:02:12,798
I just tend to put a lot of thought
51
00:02:12,798 --> 00:02:15,134
into thinking about ways to
make an outfit really pop.
52
00:02:15,134 --> 00:02:16,468
I wonder if you put
53
00:02:16,468 --> 00:02:18,704
a fraction of that thought
into your grades.
54
00:02:18,704 --> 00:02:20,205
Oh, I didn't.
55
00:02:20,205 --> 00:02:22,641
I really try not to focus on my grades
56
00:02:22,641 --> 00:02:24,810
because I don't believe they define me --
57
00:02:24,810 --> 00:02:27,513
- Not the way a good belt can.
- I'm sorry.
58
00:02:27,513 --> 00:02:30,983
Don't be. A lot of people
make the same mistake.
59
00:02:30,983 --> 00:02:33,585
But I'm sure there's a waistline hiding
60
00:02:33,585 --> 00:02:36,255
under that big, bulky
sweater of yours somewhere.
61
00:02:37,055 --> 00:02:40,255
In fact, I know there is.
62
00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:43,629
Anyway, you've been great.
63
00:02:44,629 --> 00:02:47,099
Thanks for having me on.
64
00:02:49,935 --> 00:02:52,704
[ Door opens ]
65
00:02:54,540 --> 00:02:58,540
ALIH JEY: Last night I
had a pleasant nightmare
66
00:02:59,878 --> 00:03:01,613
Da-Da-Da-Da
Sync & corrections by Alice www.addic7ed.com
67
00:03:01,613 --> 00:03:02,781
[ Dog barks ]
Sync & corrections by Alice www.addic7ed.com
68
00:03:02,781 --> 00:03:04,616
Da, da, da, da
69
00:03:04,616 --> 00:03:05,784
DALIA: Okay.
70
00:03:07,284 --> 00:03:09,153
[ Indistinct conversations ]
71
00:03:11,255 --> 00:03:15,292
This is where you're gonna be
spending most of your time.
72
00:03:15,292 --> 00:03:17,796
Seeing Dalia on the campus
tour for Havenbrook
73
00:03:17,796 --> 00:03:20,666
instantly reduced it to a safety school.
74
00:03:20,666 --> 00:03:22,634
So, you really think it went well?
75
00:03:22,634 --> 00:03:24,636
I pretty much killed it, Mommy.
76
00:03:24,636 --> 00:03:25,938
I really think that lady loved
77
00:03:25,938 --> 00:03:27,973
all the super-dope stuff I'm into.
78
00:03:27,973 --> 00:03:30,142
[ Gasps ] Like what super-dope stuff?
79
00:03:30,142 --> 00:03:31,476
I don't know. Ask her.
80
00:03:31,476 --> 00:03:33,145
She's the one who was, like,
81
00:03:33,145 --> 00:03:34,646
jumping up and down about everything.
82
00:03:34,646 --> 00:03:36,815
Oh! Dalia, this is so exciting.
83
00:03:36,815 --> 00:03:39,484
I wonder if this place of
learning will be your new home
84
00:03:39,484 --> 00:03:41,486
or if it'll be some other college campus.
85
00:03:41,486 --> 00:03:43,822
This is the only school
I applied to, Mommy.
86
00:03:43,822 --> 00:03:46,491
Wait. What? But why?
87
00:03:46,491 --> 00:03:49,027
Because it's close enough that
I can still live in my room.
88
00:03:49,027 --> 00:03:51,763
I spent a lot of time designing my room,
89
00:03:51,763 --> 00:03:53,599
and I'm gonna sleep in it forever.
90
00:03:53,599 --> 00:03:54,733
One day, my husband and children
91
00:03:54,733 --> 00:03:56,134
are gonna sleep in there with me.
92
00:03:56,134 --> 00:03:58,503
But, Dalia, what if you
don't get into this school?
93
00:03:58,503 --> 00:04:01,039
I will. It'll be a cinch.
94
00:04:05,110 --> 00:04:07,479
It's a 45-minute wait for a table.
95
00:04:07,479 --> 00:04:10,616
Sorry. We're slammed with
all the college-tour kids.
96
00:04:10,616 --> 00:04:12,651
You want to sit at the bar?
97
00:04:12,651 --> 00:04:14,686
Fine by me.
98
00:04:14,686 --> 00:04:18,023
[ Indistinct conversations ]
99
00:04:18,023 --> 00:04:20,926
All right.
100
00:04:20,926 --> 00:04:22,961
[ Indistinct conversation ]
101
00:04:25,596 --> 00:04:27,132
You must be from Tennessee
102
00:04:27,132 --> 00:04:29,234
because you're the only 10 I see.
103
00:04:29,234 --> 00:04:31,570
And you must be from New Jersey.
104
00:04:31,570 --> 00:04:34,039
No, Missouri. The "Show Me" state.
105
00:04:34,039 --> 00:04:35,607
[ Chuckles ] What?
106
00:04:35,607 --> 00:04:37,609
This place is such a meat market.
107
00:04:37,609 --> 00:04:40,779
Do you want wings? The bar
is basically just wings.
108
00:04:40,779 --> 00:04:43,248
More importantly, why isn't
anyone trying to pick us up?
109
00:04:43,248 --> 00:04:45,851
I'm meat. I'm in the market.
110
00:04:45,851 --> 00:04:47,019
Oh, I -- Oh, I'm sorry. Oh.
111
00:04:47,019 --> 00:04:48,053
No problem. Excuse me.
112
00:04:48,053 --> 00:04:49,888
No, this place is crazy right now.
113
00:04:49,888 --> 00:04:51,690
- Standing room only.
- Yeah.
114
00:04:51,690 --> 00:04:54,092
It's nuts. [ chuckles ]
115
00:04:54,092 --> 00:04:55,727
Look at me.
116
00:04:55,727 --> 00:04:57,562
Just chit-chatting with a
beautiful girl over here.
117
00:04:57,562 --> 00:04:59,231
[ Clears throat ] Mom. Our table.
118
00:04:59,231 --> 00:05:01,800
Oh, um, y-You're welcome
119
00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:03,602
to crowd in with us if you'd like.
120
00:05:03,602 --> 00:05:05,937
Yes, please.
121
00:05:05,937 --> 00:05:07,639
Yes.
122
00:05:08,139 --> 00:05:10,108
Uh, yeah... Sure.
123
00:05:10,108 --> 00:05:11,643
I'm Tessa.
124
00:05:11,643 --> 00:05:12,978
I'm Kenny.
125
00:05:12,978 --> 00:05:14,613
- George.
- Uh, Karen.
126
00:05:14,613 --> 00:05:17,783
Okay.
127
00:05:17,783 --> 00:05:22,087
Blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah-blah
128
00:05:22,087 --> 00:05:24,189
[ Trunk closes ]
129
00:05:24,189 --> 00:05:26,558
[ Horn blares ]
130
00:05:26,558 --> 00:05:27,859
Remember me?
131
00:05:27,859 --> 00:05:30,862
Oh! Oh! I-I'm so sorry.
132
00:05:30,862 --> 00:05:32,698
That is so Dalia.
133
00:05:32,698 --> 00:05:35,600
Hate her or love her, you have to love her.
134
00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:37,469
You do, anyway. Oh!
135
00:05:37,469 --> 00:05:38,804
Well, you will, too.
136
00:05:38,804 --> 00:05:41,640
Next year, she'll just
matriculate all over.
137
00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:44,076
- Miss Royce, let me be perfectly blunt.
- Yes.
138
00:05:44,076 --> 00:05:47,079
With Dalia's grades and her test scores
139
00:05:47,079 --> 00:05:48,613
- and her general demeanor...
- Yes.
140
00:05:48,613 --> 00:05:50,082
She's probably better qualified
141
00:05:50,082 --> 00:05:53,485
for junior college... or the bling ring.
142
00:05:53,485 --> 00:05:56,154
- Are you saying --
- She's not getting in.
143
00:06:10,597 --> 00:06:12,099
I don't know. I have a good feeling.
144
00:06:12,099 --> 00:06:14,401
About Havenbrook? Not me.
145
00:06:14,401 --> 00:06:17,137
Havenbrook? No, I'm talking
about Karen and Kenny.
146
00:06:17,137 --> 00:06:20,140
Oh... Them.
147
00:06:20,140 --> 00:06:22,343
Them? Come on.
148
00:06:22,343 --> 00:06:24,011
They were okay.
149
00:06:24,011 --> 00:06:26,146
Okay?
150
00:06:26,146 --> 00:06:27,615
Th-They're Ivy League.
151
00:06:27,615 --> 00:06:29,483
- In terms of...?
- In terms of looks.
152
00:06:29,483 --> 00:06:31,552
In terms of physical attributes.
153
00:06:31,552 --> 00:06:33,120
They were smart and funny and hot.
154
00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:35,522
They're like the Gilmore Girls.
[ chuckles ]
155
00:06:35,522 --> 00:06:38,726
- Except one's a dude.
- You said it.
156
00:06:38,726 --> 00:06:41,629
I feel like you think Kenny
is more attractive than I do.
157
00:06:41,629 --> 00:06:44,365
Kenny is a babe, okay? [ chuckles ]
158
00:06:44,365 --> 00:06:46,533
I wish I looked like Kenny
when I was 17 years old.
159
00:06:46,533 --> 00:06:48,502
There wasn't a single
freshman on that campus
160
00:06:48,502 --> 00:06:50,170
that was more attractive than Kenny.
161
00:06:50,170 --> 00:06:52,139
Kenny is magnificent!
162
00:06:52,639 --> 00:06:54,141
Also, his mom said
163
00:06:54,141 --> 00:06:55,609
"The four of us should get
together again sometime."
164
00:06:55,609 --> 00:06:57,578
So for the time being,
we're a package deal.
165
00:07:00,447 --> 00:07:02,683
She's not getting into college!
166
00:07:02,683 --> 00:07:04,518
- Our girl!
- Nope.
167
00:07:04,518 --> 00:07:06,287
Well, you don't seem surprised.
168
00:07:06,287 --> 00:07:09,757
- I'm surprised you're surprised.
- Carmen, how could you?!
169
00:07:09,757 --> 00:07:12,259
What's gonna become of our Dalia?
170
00:07:12,259 --> 00:07:14,428
She's gonna have to get a
job like the rest of us.
171
00:07:14,428 --> 00:07:16,597
Carmen, be serious.
172
00:07:16,597 --> 00:07:19,133
- She could join the military.
- Carmen!
173
00:07:19,133 --> 00:07:20,734
You know damn well Dalia has trouble
174
00:07:20,734 --> 00:07:23,070
with following orders and waking up early
175
00:07:23,070 --> 00:07:25,606
and pull-ups and humvees
and short haircuts.
176
00:07:25,606 --> 00:07:27,441
You can't take care of her forever.
177
00:07:27,441 --> 00:07:29,276
She has to find her calling.
178
00:07:29,276 --> 00:07:31,745
I don't like calling. I'm text only.
179
00:07:31,745 --> 00:07:35,449
Dalia, honey. [ sighs ]
180
00:07:35,449 --> 00:07:37,518
I've got some terrible news.
181
00:07:37,518 --> 00:07:40,621
News that is gonna shake you to the core.
182
00:07:40,621 --> 00:07:42,556
It is gonna make you shutter and cry.
183
00:07:42,556 --> 00:07:44,692
It's gonna make you stop, drop, and roll.
184
00:07:44,692 --> 00:07:46,760
[ Inhales sharply ]
185
00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:49,463
You're not getting into the
only school you applied to.
186
00:07:49,463 --> 00:07:51,765
'Kay.
187
00:07:51,765 --> 00:07:53,634
No, but it's not 'Kay.
188
00:07:53,634 --> 00:07:55,703
It's the opposite of 'Kay.
189
00:07:55,703 --> 00:07:59,239
But I promise that one day
soon it will be 'Kay,
190
00:07:59,239 --> 00:08:02,142
'cause with a little tenacity,
we are gonna figure out
191
00:08:02,142 --> 00:08:04,244
what it is you were born to do.
192
00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:10,480
Dalia, honey... Aren't
you gonna say anything?
193
00:08:11,018 --> 00:08:14,722
On the bright side, I can
still sleep in my room.
194
00:08:14,722 --> 00:08:17,424
[ Gasps ] That's true.
195
00:08:17,424 --> 00:08:20,627
And Carmen can still keep
her job cleaning it.
196
00:08:20,627 --> 00:08:24,031
So, I guess all of this worked
out really well for you, Carmen.
197
00:08:26,901 --> 00:08:29,737
Who is having a great time? I am.
198
00:08:29,737 --> 00:08:31,239
[ laughter ] Can you believe what
a great time we're all having?
199
00:08:31,739 --> 00:08:35,609
- Okay, Mommy, here we go.
- Okay.
200
00:08:35,609 --> 00:08:36,744
[ Beep ] Go.
201
00:08:36,744 --> 00:08:39,013
Yours has picture frames and vases on it.
202
00:08:39,013 --> 00:08:40,748
- Mantle! Mickey Mantle!
- Correct.
203
00:08:40,748 --> 00:08:42,149
Yes.
204
00:08:42,149 --> 00:08:44,518
- Okay, uh, we hate this person.
- Jessica Seinfeld.
205
00:08:44,518 --> 00:08:46,720
Yes, but for us, the male version is...
206
00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:48,122
- Nick Cannon!
- Correct!
207
00:08:48,122 --> 00:08:49,490
Oh, yes!
208
00:08:49,490 --> 00:08:51,759
Wow, looks like you and mommy
make a great team, huh?
209
00:08:51,759 --> 00:08:53,694
[ laughs ] Uh-Huh.
210
00:08:53,694 --> 00:08:55,596
Maybe we should, uh, you
know, switch sides.
211
00:08:55,596 --> 00:08:58,265
Or we could take a dessert break?
212
00:08:58,265 --> 00:09:00,234
Anyone want some pie?
213
00:09:00,234 --> 00:09:02,603
I baked a salted caramel apple pie.
214
00:09:02,603 --> 00:09:04,605
Ooh. You should take her
up on that, George.
215
00:09:04,605 --> 00:09:07,408
- My mom's pie is award-winning.
- Oh.
216
00:09:07,408 --> 00:09:08,709
I am in.
217
00:09:08,709 --> 00:09:10,244
What award?
218
00:09:10,244 --> 00:09:13,580
What? You said award-winning.
219
00:09:13,580 --> 00:09:15,382
What award did it win?
220
00:09:15,382 --> 00:09:17,751
Oh, it's just a figure of speech.
221
00:09:17,751 --> 00:09:20,587
"Award-winning" is not a figure of speech.
222
00:09:20,587 --> 00:09:22,756
It's a claim and...
223
00:09:22,756 --> 00:09:25,359
Sounds like in your case it's a false one.
224
00:09:25,359 --> 00:09:28,028
Okay. Go get some forks.
For the, uh -- the pie.
225
00:09:28,028 --> 00:09:30,764
[ Chuckles ] Uh...
226
00:09:30,764 --> 00:09:32,733
[ chuckles ]
227
00:09:32,733 --> 00:09:34,635
I don't think she likes me.
228
00:09:34,635 --> 00:09:37,037
Oh, of course she likes you.
229
00:09:37,037 --> 00:09:39,039
Yeah, we all like each other.
It's palpable.
230
00:09:39,039 --> 00:09:41,041
Yeah, you know, and remember, sweetie,
231
00:09:41,041 --> 00:09:44,044
some girls like to play hard to get.
232
00:09:44,044 --> 00:09:46,680
Speaking of, it's getting late.
233
00:09:46,680 --> 00:09:48,682
We should probably get going.
234
00:09:48,682 --> 00:09:50,517
Oh, but what about your pie?
235
00:09:50,517 --> 00:09:52,352
Oh, enjoy.
236
00:09:52,352 --> 00:09:56,356
I will get the plate next time.
237
00:09:56,356 --> 00:09:58,659
Next time. Right.
238
00:09:58,659 --> 00:10:00,194
[ Chuckles ]
239
00:10:00,194 --> 00:10:03,363
All right. Have a good night.
240
00:10:03,363 --> 00:10:05,199
Not to die on this hill,
241
00:10:05,199 --> 00:10:07,634
but Nick Cannon has brought
a lot of enjoyment
242
00:10:07,634 --> 00:10:11,238
to a lot of people and, unlike Karen's pie,
243
00:10:11,238 --> 00:10:14,241
has won actual awards, so...
244
00:10:14,241 --> 00:10:16,043
I'm just saying.
245
00:10:16,043 --> 00:10:18,212
With college no longer an option,
246
00:10:18,212 --> 00:10:21,548
Dalia set out to explore any
possible job opportunity
247
00:10:21,548 --> 00:10:23,083
that didn't require a degree.
248
00:10:24,083 --> 00:10:27,054
What are all those crazy robot heads?
249
00:10:27,054 --> 00:10:31,391
Microwaves. And that's your station.
250
00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:34,495
[ Sizzling ]
251
00:10:34,495 --> 00:10:37,498
[ Indistinct conversations in distance ]
252
00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:41,135
I want the office with the window.
253
00:10:41,135 --> 00:10:44,371
That's the drive-thru window, and no.
254
00:10:44,371 --> 00:10:45,539
I want a raise.
255
00:10:45,539 --> 00:10:47,508
I don't think this is gonna work out.
256
00:10:47,508 --> 00:10:49,510
Thank you for considering me.
257
00:10:49,510 --> 00:10:51,646
Food service clearly
wasn't Dalia's calling,
258
00:10:52,146 --> 00:10:56,650
so she decided to try Carmen's
advice about the military.
259
00:10:56,650 --> 00:10:58,519
Get it, girl.
260
00:10:58,519 --> 00:10:59,753
Al-Qaeda's coming!
261
00:11:02,723 --> 00:11:04,225
And time!
262
00:11:04,725 --> 00:11:06,727
Well, I guess master gunnery sergeant
263
00:11:06,727 --> 00:11:08,729
isn't in the cards, which is a shame
264
00:11:08,729 --> 00:11:10,497
'cause their emblem's so darn cute.
265
00:11:10,497 --> 00:11:13,000
Maybe something more blue collar.
266
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:16,603
Or a Mandarin collar. Or collar-less.
267
00:11:16,603 --> 00:11:20,407
Or maybe something more coveralls.
268
00:11:20,407 --> 00:11:21,408
[ Engine sputters ]
269
00:11:21,408 --> 00:11:22,709
Oh, crap. You hear that?
270
00:11:22,709 --> 00:11:25,612
It keeps making that rattle.
271
00:11:25,612 --> 00:11:27,614
Did you check the belt?
272
00:11:27,614 --> 00:11:30,417
90% of life's problems are belt-related.
273
00:11:31,752 --> 00:11:33,053
Car ready?
274
00:11:33,053 --> 00:11:35,289
Oh, hey. No, not yet, sir.
275
00:11:35,289 --> 00:11:36,990
We just need a couple
more minutes with her.
276
00:11:36,990 --> 00:11:39,660
Tell you what, why don't I
have Dalia wheel you outside
277
00:11:39,660 --> 00:11:41,228
so you don't have to smell our fumes...
278
00:11:41,228 --> 00:11:44,064
And so I don't have to smell his.
279
00:11:44,064 --> 00:11:45,399
'Kay.
280
00:11:49,735 --> 00:11:52,735
I like your wheelchair. It's tight.
281
00:11:54,641 --> 00:11:56,610
GEORGE: $50.
- No!
282
00:11:56,610 --> 00:11:58,712
$60.
283
00:11:58,712 --> 00:12:01,381
You do realize you are
trying to pay your daughter
284
00:12:01,381 --> 00:12:04,751
to go on a date with
someone she doesn't like.
285
00:12:04,751 --> 00:12:07,754
If I accepted, think about
what that would make me.
286
00:12:08,754 --> 00:12:10,023
A team player?
287
00:12:10,023 --> 00:12:12,593
You're a terrible parent.
Get out of my room.
288
00:12:12,593 --> 00:12:14,294
Okay, what if I could talk to Kenny?
289
00:12:14,294 --> 00:12:15,596
You know, change him.
290
00:12:15,596 --> 00:12:17,464
What -- What -- What is it
about him you don't like?
291
00:12:17,464 --> 00:12:18,599
Are you kidding, George?
292
00:12:18,599 --> 00:12:21,635
He's a total mama's boy. He's pathetic.
293
00:12:21,635 --> 00:12:25,472
Pathetic or completely justified
with an amazing mama like her?
294
00:12:25,472 --> 00:12:27,608
What is so amazing about her, George?
295
00:12:27,608 --> 00:12:30,043
Please, enlighten me.
296
00:12:30,043 --> 00:12:32,212
Okay. Okay.
297
00:12:32,212 --> 00:12:36,550
For starters, she smells fantastic.
298
00:12:36,550 --> 00:12:38,619
She has long, shiny hair.
299
00:12:39,619 --> 00:12:43,619
She told that hilarious
story about what great time
300
00:12:44,157 --> 00:12:45,626
they made on the way over to our place.
301
00:12:45,626 --> 00:12:48,328
She's a boring, beautiful woman.
302
00:12:48,328 --> 00:12:50,631
You just like her because she's hot.
303
00:12:50,631 --> 00:12:53,734
I, however, have slightly higher standards.
304
00:12:53,734 --> 00:12:56,336
So, what you're saying is
you'd love to be there
305
00:12:56,336 --> 00:12:58,705
but you've come down with
a bad case of rickets.
306
00:12:58,705 --> 00:13:00,707
- I get it.
- You're pathetic.
307
00:13:04,044 --> 00:13:05,712
Mommy?
308
00:13:05,712 --> 00:13:06,747
Mommy, where are you?
309
00:13:06,747 --> 00:13:09,416
Dalia? Is everything okay?
310
00:13:09,416 --> 00:13:11,585
Everything is better than okay.
311
00:13:11,585 --> 00:13:13,754
I found my future.
312
00:13:13,754 --> 00:13:15,188
It was at that smelly garage.
313
00:13:15,188 --> 00:13:17,190
[ Gasps ] Oh, my gosh, yes!
314
00:13:17,190 --> 00:13:20,527
The future is always in the last
place you think to look for it.
315
00:13:20,527 --> 00:13:22,429
You're a grease monkey! I knew it!
316
00:13:22,429 --> 00:13:24,631
No, Mommy, I'm not.
317
00:13:24,631 --> 00:13:26,600
No? Well, then what are you? Accountant?
318
00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:28,035
- No.
- Air traffic controller?
319
00:13:28,035 --> 00:13:29,202
- No.
- Tastemaker?
320
00:13:29,202 --> 00:13:30,637
- No.
- Humorist?
321
00:13:31,387 --> 00:13:33,757
Close your eyes and hold your nose.
322
00:13:34,457 --> 00:13:36,160
What?
323
00:13:38,645 --> 00:13:39,680
[ Sighs ]
324
00:13:46,286 --> 00:13:47,454
This is Harold.
325
00:13:47,454 --> 00:13:51,024
I'm his problem now. [ chuckles ]
326
00:13:51,024 --> 00:13:53,260
But we have to build a ramp to my room.
327
00:13:53,260 --> 00:13:54,561
That's Carmen's problem now.
328
00:13:54,561 --> 00:13:55,595
[ Gasps ]
329
00:14:08,071 --> 00:14:10,406
Dalia! You cannot do this.
330
00:14:10,406 --> 00:14:12,742
You cannot go out with
that decrepit old man.
331
00:14:12,742 --> 00:14:15,478
That decrepit old man is my everything.
332
00:14:15,478 --> 00:14:17,113
We're soul mates.
333
00:14:17,113 --> 00:14:18,281
Now, if you'll excuse me,
334
00:14:18,281 --> 00:14:19,982
I need to get him started on some fluids.
335
00:14:19,982 --> 00:14:21,451
Dalia, he is not your soul mate.
336
00:14:21,451 --> 00:14:23,419
He barely has a soul left.
337
00:14:23,419 --> 00:14:24,721
You can't have any kind of life
338
00:14:24,721 --> 00:14:27,757
with that dried-up, shriveled-up,
339
00:14:27,757 --> 00:14:31,757
absent-minded, brittle sack of nothing.
340
00:14:33,095 --> 00:14:36,599
Mother-in-laws never like me.
341
00:14:36,599 --> 00:14:39,435
- I won't let you do it.
- I'm an adult.
342
00:14:39,435 --> 00:14:41,270
I don't need you to let me.
343
00:14:41,270 --> 00:14:43,573
I can let myself. [ gasps ]
344
00:14:43,573 --> 00:14:46,743
Dalia's safety school was
an old man in a wheelchair,
345
00:14:46,743 --> 00:14:49,412
so Dallas realized she had to get her
346
00:14:49,412 --> 00:14:52,215
into her first choice
by any means necessary.
347
00:14:52,215 --> 00:14:53,649
Miss Royce, what can I do for you?
348
00:14:53,649 --> 00:14:56,519
You can let my baby into this school.
349
00:14:56,519 --> 00:14:59,222
- I can't do that.
- Oh, but I think you can.
350
00:14:59,222 --> 00:15:01,257
See, I'm prepared to write you a check
351
00:15:01,257 --> 00:15:04,761
that will make you look upon
my daughter very differently.
352
00:15:04,761 --> 00:15:06,996
So, what you need? New medical school?
353
00:15:06,996 --> 00:15:08,131
It's on me.
354
00:15:08,131 --> 00:15:09,665
Let's cure some things up in this bitch.
355
00:15:09,665 --> 00:15:11,167
Miss Royce, please.
356
00:15:11,167 --> 00:15:14,337
It's clear that you love your
daughter and I admire that.
357
00:15:14,337 --> 00:15:15,638
But her admittance can't be bought.
358
00:15:15,638 --> 00:15:18,040
It has to be earned. I'm sorry.
359
00:15:21,077 --> 00:15:23,012
[ Sighs ]
360
00:15:24,414 --> 00:15:26,115
I blew it.
361
00:15:26,115 --> 00:15:28,584
I bought her so many actual gifts
362
00:15:28,584 --> 00:15:31,587
I forgot to nurture her natural gifts.
363
00:15:31,587 --> 00:15:33,456
That's not entirely true.
364
00:15:33,456 --> 00:15:37,456
As I recall, she offered me
some very keen fashion advice.
365
00:15:38,995 --> 00:15:41,364
She did? She suggested I "belt it."
366
00:15:41,364 --> 00:15:45,435
I tell you -- it's made
a world of difference.
367
00:15:45,435 --> 00:15:47,437
Even my wife noticed.
368
00:15:47,437 --> 00:15:51,541
So, when it comes to belts,
Dalia really knows her stuff.
369
00:15:51,541 --> 00:15:53,376
[ Gasps ] Oh, my gosh!
370
00:15:53,376 --> 00:15:55,077
Not about your sexuality.
371
00:15:55,077 --> 00:15:57,380
I totally called that one, but [gasps]
372
00:15:57,380 --> 00:15:59,615
Dalia does have a gift!
373
00:15:59,615 --> 00:16:00,750
It will be a cinch.
374
00:16:00,750 --> 00:16:02,218
Did you check the belt?
375
00:16:02,218 --> 00:16:03,519
Not the way a good belt can.
376
00:16:03,519 --> 00:16:05,388
Which singer should we vote for, Dalia?
377
00:16:05,388 --> 00:16:08,524
[ Distorted ] The one that can belt.
378
00:16:08,524 --> 00:16:11,694
That's it! That's her future! I've seen it!
379
00:16:11,694 --> 00:16:13,396
Belts.
380
00:16:13,896 --> 00:16:17,567
Thank you. You guys look great tonight.
381
00:16:17,567 --> 00:16:20,069
- Thank you.
- Thanks, George.
382
00:16:20,069 --> 00:16:22,004
So, you do anything exciting today?
383
00:16:22,004 --> 00:16:23,439
Are you asking me or my mom?
384
00:16:23,439 --> 00:16:24,607
Both of you, but, Karen,
385
00:16:24,607 --> 00:16:26,609
why don't you go ahead and take this one.
386
00:16:26,609 --> 00:16:29,612
Mm... Well, I made incredible time
387
00:16:29,612 --> 00:16:31,047
on the way to the restaurant.
388
00:16:31,047 --> 00:16:32,348
I think I hit every green light.
389
00:16:32,348 --> 00:16:34,183
W-What did I stop, like, twice, Kenny?
390
00:16:34,183 --> 00:16:37,520
I don't know. So, Tessa's really sick, huh?
391
00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:38,621
What did you say she had?
392
00:16:38,621 --> 00:16:41,023
Rickets. [ chuckles ] No, I
know what you're thinking.
393
00:16:41,023 --> 00:16:44,026
But th-they are back in a big way.
394
00:16:44,026 --> 00:16:46,662
She might die, so... She'll
be fine, though, someday.
395
00:16:46,662 --> 00:16:49,532
She just needs to get some sunlight...
396
00:16:49,532 --> 00:16:52,468
[ clears throat ] ...And, uh, milk?
397
00:16:52,468 --> 00:16:53,703
I think? I don't know.
398
00:16:53,703 --> 00:16:56,639
Anyway, so, Karen, GPS or free-balling?
399
00:16:56,639 --> 00:16:59,041
I think you're full of it. I
don't think Tessa's really sick.
400
00:16:59,041 --> 00:17:03,412
- Kenny. - No, she -- No,
she's absolutely sick.
401
00:17:03,412 --> 00:17:06,449
- Then I'm gonna go check on her.
- Great idea.
402
00:17:06,449 --> 00:17:09,051
And I suppose she'll be
really happy to see me.
403
00:17:09,051 --> 00:17:12,121
Yes. If she isn't, it's
o-on account of the...
404
00:17:12,121 --> 00:17:14,390
- Rickets.
- The rickets. Exactly.
405
00:17:17,260 --> 00:17:19,095
Oh.
406
00:17:19,095 --> 00:17:20,730
Ohh.
407
00:17:20,730 --> 00:17:23,299
Kenny just really likes your daughter.
408
00:17:23,299 --> 00:17:24,467
I know how he feels.
409
00:17:27,302 --> 00:17:30,306
[ Chuckles ] But I should
probably be honest, Karen.
410
00:17:30,306 --> 00:17:32,308
I don't think the feeling's mutual.
411
00:17:32,308 --> 00:17:35,378
Tessa doesn't have rickets. I wish she did.
412
00:17:35,378 --> 00:17:37,446
Well, I-I don't wish she did.
413
00:17:37,446 --> 00:17:40,283
I wish that was why she's not here.
414
00:17:40,283 --> 00:17:44,487
She's just not... Into Kenny, you know?
415
00:17:44,487 --> 00:17:45,988
Not the way I'm into you.
416
00:17:45,988 --> 00:17:49,258
Hmm. I know how she feels.
417
00:17:49,258 --> 00:17:53,095
- I thought you loved Kenny.
- I love Kenny!
418
00:17:53,095 --> 00:17:54,463
I'm talking about you.
419
00:17:54,463 --> 00:17:57,600
I only agreed to go out with you
420
00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:00,736
because Kenny was so smitten
with your daughter.
421
00:18:00,736 --> 00:18:04,607
But if that's not
happening, neither is this.
422
00:18:08,344 --> 00:18:11,514
Yeah, well, guess who's
getting stuck in rush hour.
423
00:18:11,514 --> 00:18:13,349
[ Chuckles ]
424
00:18:25,590 --> 00:18:28,927
[ Both grunting ]
425
00:18:28,927 --> 00:18:31,096
You need to stop eating carbs, Harold.
426
00:18:31,096 --> 00:18:34,566
I weigh 63 pounds, you weakling.
427
00:18:34,566 --> 00:18:36,267
Dalia Oprah! Drop that elderly!
428
00:18:36,267 --> 00:18:38,470
W-Whoa!
429
00:18:38,470 --> 00:18:42,474
Dalia, I sincerely apologize
if I have ill-prepared you
430
00:18:42,474 --> 00:18:43,641
for the world and/or made you feel
431
00:18:43,641 --> 00:18:45,477
like you didn't have a place, but you do!
432
00:18:45,477 --> 00:18:46,878
I glimpsed it.
433
00:18:46,878 --> 00:18:49,948
The answer has been right below
our waists this whole time.
434
00:18:49,948 --> 00:18:52,917
- Hooking?
- No, silly. Belts!
435
00:18:52,917 --> 00:18:55,553
Belts? What kind of belts?
436
00:18:55,553 --> 00:18:57,589
Leather belts, replacement
belts, buckle belts,
437
00:18:57,589 --> 00:18:59,958
title belts, braided belts,
sour belts, skinny belts,
438
00:18:59,958 --> 00:19:02,861
wide belts, snake belts,
chain belts, cummerbunds,
439
00:19:02,861 --> 00:19:05,697
big buckle belts, elastic belts, sash?
440
00:19:05,697 --> 00:19:07,632
That's what I'm trying to tell --
441
00:19:07,632 --> 00:19:08,967
Studded belts, beaded belts, printed belts,
442
00:19:08,967 --> 00:19:10,635
woven belts, cowboy belts,
443
00:19:10,635 --> 00:19:12,570
monogrammed, natural fiber, attached?
444
00:19:13,570 --> 00:19:14,972
You done?
445
00:19:15,740 --> 00:19:17,976
- I truly believe --
- Grosgrain self-tie.
446
00:19:17,976 --> 00:19:20,245
...We found your calling.
447
00:19:20,245 --> 00:19:22,580
I'm breaking up with you.
448
00:19:24,649 --> 00:19:26,784
[ laughter ]
449
00:19:31,823 --> 00:19:33,491
Kenny, I-I'm sorry I lied to you.
450
00:19:33,491 --> 00:19:36,528
Tessa does not have rickets as you can see.
451
00:19:36,528 --> 00:19:38,730
She just didn't want to hang out with you.
452
00:19:38,730 --> 00:19:41,599
Actually... Kenny's cool.
453
00:19:41,599 --> 00:19:42,700
He's a lot easier to like
454
00:19:42,700 --> 00:19:45,203
when I'm not being forced to like him.
455
00:19:45,203 --> 00:19:47,572
Yeah, we get along a lot better
456
00:19:47,572 --> 00:19:49,007
when our parents aren't around.
457
00:19:49,007 --> 00:19:51,843
Really?
458
00:19:51,843 --> 00:19:55,813
You don't think the same could be...
459
00:19:55,813 --> 00:19:58,850
Is it worth trying again
with your awesome mom?
460
00:19:58,850 --> 00:20:00,485
Sure. Go for it.
461
00:20:00,985 --> 00:20:03,187
Hey, nothing ventured.
462
00:20:07,024 --> 00:20:09,527
[ Door opens ] Not a chance in hell.
463
00:20:09,527 --> 00:20:13,198
[ Door closes ] I wasn't even in
college yet and I was already leaving
464
00:20:13,198 --> 00:20:15,133
poor George to fend for himself.
465
00:20:15,133 --> 00:20:18,636
But the fact was, the future was coming
466
00:20:18,636 --> 00:20:20,605
and all any of us could
do to prepare for it
467
00:20:20,605 --> 00:20:22,540
was... buckle up.
468
00:20:22,540 --> 00:20:24,008
Get 'em, girl.
469
00:20:24,008 --> 00:20:26,511
[ Indistinct conversations ]
470
00:20:26,511 --> 00:20:28,012
Can I help you?
471
00:20:28,012 --> 00:20:29,847
- These belts are awesome.
- I know.
472
00:20:29,847 --> 00:20:31,482
I'll take all of them.
473
00:20:31,482 --> 00:20:32,784
Cash or credit?
474
00:20:32,784 --> 00:20:34,586
Cash or credit, baby?
475
00:20:34,586 --> 00:20:35,887
Cash.
476
00:20:37,187 --> 00:20:40,287
He's heavier than he looks,
so lift with your knees.
477
00:20:43,512 --> 00:20:48,012
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
478
00:20:48,062 --> 00:20:52,612
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
35016
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.