Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,536 --> 00:00:05,904
This is the story of two sisters,
2
00:00:05,905 --> 00:00:07,906
Jessica Tate
3
00:00:07,907 --> 00:00:10,409
and Mary Campbell.
4
00:00:10,410 --> 00:00:13,879
These are the Tates,
5
00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:17,383
and these are the Campbells.
6
00:00:17,384 --> 00:00:20,886
And this is Soap.
7
00:00:49,749 --> 00:00:51,617
So when I was 8,
8
00:00:51,618 --> 00:00:54,053
we moved from Cheyenne
to Calabasas.
9
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:55,988
You ever been to Calabasas?
10
00:00:55,989 --> 00:00:58,457
I can't take much more of this.
11
00:00:58,458 --> 00:00:59,825
You don't have to.
12
00:00:59,826 --> 00:01:02,327
We're gonna die soon.
13
00:01:03,797 --> 00:01:04,797
What is that?
14
00:01:04,798 --> 00:01:06,265
Mice. It's mice.
15
00:01:06,266 --> 00:01:07,767
Mice? That's pretty big mice!
16
00:01:13,273 --> 00:01:15,275
Burt!
17
00:01:19,279 --> 00:01:21,280
Don't say a word.
18
00:01:21,281 --> 00:01:22,781
They're right outside.
19
00:01:22,782 --> 00:01:24,283
Burt, what are you doing here?
20
00:01:24,284 --> 00:01:25,751
What am I doing here?
21
00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:27,252
I'm the Roto-Rooter man.
22
00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:29,755
We're being rescued.
We're actually being rescued.
23
00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:30,756
You guys okay?
24
00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:32,257
We're okay now.
Have you seen Wendy?
25
00:01:32,258 --> 00:01:33,692
No, they're working on it.
26
00:01:33,693 --> 00:01:35,194
Let's cool down.
27
00:01:35,195 --> 00:01:37,663
Maggie, Jodie!
28
00:01:37,664 --> 00:01:38,664
Thank you!
29
00:01:38,665 --> 00:01:42,167
Excuse me, we haven't
been properly introduced.
30
00:01:42,168 --> 00:01:43,669
Right, hi there.
31
00:01:43,670 --> 00:01:45,170
There's a guard right outside...
32
00:01:45,171 --> 00:01:46,672
Hey! Jodie! Maggie!
33
00:01:46,673 --> 00:01:47,673
Shut up!
Quiet!
34
00:01:47,674 --> 00:01:48,674
How's it goin'?
35
00:01:48,675 --> 00:01:49,675
Dutch!
Will you...
36
00:01:49,676 --> 00:01:51,677
Jeez, they give you
a terrible room.
37
00:01:51,678 --> 00:01:53,178
Dutch, will you please
keep it down?
38
00:01:53,179 --> 00:01:54,179
Are you guys okay?
39
00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:55,180
Terrific.
Oh, great.
40
00:01:55,181 --> 00:01:56,181
Now, there's a guard...
41
00:01:56,182 --> 00:01:58,183
This place was hard to find!
42
00:01:58,184 --> 00:01:59,685
We believe it.
Now, listen.
43
00:01:59,686 --> 00:02:00,686
Hey, who's the old guy?
44
00:02:00,687 --> 00:02:01,687
He'll tell you later!
45
00:02:01,688 --> 00:02:02,688
Hi, old man.
Hi there.
46
00:02:02,689 --> 00:02:04,189
Dutch, will you stop!
47
00:02:04,190 --> 00:02:06,191
We have come!
48
00:02:06,192 --> 00:02:07,693
Or, as my esteemed
leader would say,
49
00:02:07,694 --> 00:02:08,694
"Enchiladas rancheros."
50
00:02:08,695 --> 00:02:09,695
Listen, there's a door...
51
00:02:09,696 --> 00:02:11,196
Hey, Jodie, you feeling okay?
52
00:02:11,197 --> 00:02:12,197
Fine.
53
00:02:12,198 --> 00:02:14,199
Hey, Billy, you remember
Maggie, don't ya?
54
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:16,702
I can't tell you what we went
through finding this place.
55
00:02:16,703 --> 00:02:17,703
I heard.
56
00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:19,204
Listen.
This is it!
57
00:02:19,205 --> 00:02:21,206
I never thought we'd find this place!
58
00:02:21,207 --> 00:02:23,709
You wouldn't believe
what we went through.
59
00:02:24,711 --> 00:02:25,711
Fine.
60
00:02:25,712 --> 00:02:27,212
Why is everybody coming in here?
61
00:02:27,213 --> 00:02:28,213
Why?
62
00:02:28,214 --> 00:02:30,182
Se?or Valdez,
we are very grateful.
63
00:02:30,183 --> 00:02:31,183
Oh, no problem.
64
00:02:31,184 --> 00:02:32,184
You know, as I always say,
65
00:02:32,185 --> 00:02:34,186
"When there is a maiden
in distress..."
66
00:02:34,187 --> 00:02:36,589
"El Puerco will get
into her dress."
67
00:02:38,591 --> 00:02:40,092
What?!
68
00:02:40,093 --> 00:02:42,594
I always wanted to say that.
69
00:02:42,595 --> 00:02:44,596
And I'm glad it's finally
out of my system.
70
00:02:44,597 --> 00:02:46,598
You guys are supposed
to be outside.
71
00:02:46,599 --> 00:02:48,100
Will you get out there?
72
00:02:48,101 --> 00:02:49,101
Yech! What a dump!
73
00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:50,103
Ugh.
74
00:02:51,604 --> 00:02:53,105
I should have brought the dip.
75
00:02:53,106 --> 00:02:54,606
Listen, fellas...
76
00:02:54,607 --> 00:02:58,110
You wouldn't believe what we
went through to find this place.
77
00:02:58,111 --> 00:03:00,112
Hey, Juan, you remember
Maggie, don't ya?
78
00:03:00,113 --> 00:03:01,613
Ah, s?, buenos noches.
79
00:03:01,614 --> 00:03:04,116
We were very worried about you, Jodie.
80
00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:06,118
Hey, Chuck, you remember
Maggie, don't ya?
81
00:03:08,054 --> 00:03:10,055
Stop-o.
82
00:03:10,056 --> 00:03:11,056
Zip-o.
83
00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:15,460
Listen here, now.
84
00:03:15,461 --> 00:03:17,462
In a little while,
they're gonna be on to us...
85
00:03:18,965 --> 00:03:20,966
Now we're all gonna die.
86
00:03:20,967 --> 00:03:21,967
What happened?
87
00:03:21,968 --> 00:03:23,468
Major?
88
00:03:23,469 --> 00:03:25,337
Major, if this is
your idea of a joke?
89
00:03:25,338 --> 00:03:27,839
Nice try, sheriff.
90
00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:29,808
That's not the Major.
91
00:03:29,809 --> 00:03:32,244
So, you have failed again,
Mr. Dallas.
92
00:03:32,245 --> 00:03:35,214
You have failed to retrieve
your daughter,
93
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,649
and now you have failed
to escape.
94
00:03:37,650 --> 00:03:40,586
You must realize
you cannot defeat
95
00:03:40,587 --> 00:03:42,554
a Minja Sama.
96
00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:44,890
Now you shall...
Oh! Ho.
97
00:03:47,327 --> 00:03:49,329
The keys.
Get the keys.
98
00:03:52,332 --> 00:03:53,332
Don't shout!
99
00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:55,834
Oh, Wendy.
Oh!
100
00:03:55,835 --> 00:03:57,836
All right.
101
00:03:57,837 --> 00:03:59,838
If you don't mind my saying so,
102
00:03:59,839 --> 00:04:01,340
we've worn out our welcome here.
103
00:04:01,341 --> 00:04:04,343
So let us get the hell out.
104
00:04:08,348 --> 00:04:09,848
Saunders,
105
00:04:09,849 --> 00:04:10,849
how can we thank you?
106
00:04:10,850 --> 00:04:13,319
Something from Tiffany's
would be nice.
107
00:04:14,821 --> 00:04:16,655
Oh, listen,
hey, old-paly,
108
00:04:16,656 --> 00:04:19,091
if you wanna come along,
there's room in the camper.
109
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:21,026
Oh, you're...
You're too kind.
110
00:04:21,027 --> 00:04:25,464
You know, it's been
25 years since I've seen the light of day.
111
00:04:26,466 --> 00:04:28,968
Your skin looks wonderful.
112
00:04:30,970 --> 00:04:35,474
Say, tell me, how's President
Eisenhower doing these days?
113
00:04:35,475 --> 00:04:38,477
Gee, I'm sorry to tell you,
but Ike's passed on.
114
00:04:38,478 --> 00:04:40,312
Oh, my God.
115
00:04:40,313 --> 00:04:42,815
That means that Nixon
is president.
116
00:04:56,195 --> 00:04:58,196
Okay, now, you're sure
you're not feeling faint?
117
00:04:58,197 --> 00:04:59,197
No, I'm fine.
118
00:04:59,198 --> 00:05:00,699
Oh, good. Okay.
119
00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:02,201
Oh!
120
00:05:03,202 --> 00:05:06,638
She just fainted
five minutes ago.
121
00:05:06,639 --> 00:05:08,140
She's a fainter.
122
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:09,641
She's always been a fainter.
123
00:05:09,642 --> 00:05:11,143
You should have seen her.
124
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:12,644
Her eyes rolled back
in her head.
125
00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:15,147
She looked like Orphan Annie.
126
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:17,549
Put your head
between your knees.
127
00:05:17,550 --> 00:05:18,550
You're talking to me?
128
00:05:18,551 --> 00:05:19,552
No.
129
00:05:20,553 --> 00:05:23,488
I didn't know the eyes
rolled back.
130
00:05:23,489 --> 00:05:24,890
That part surprised me.
131
00:05:24,891 --> 00:05:27,893
She has fainted all her life.
132
00:05:27,894 --> 00:05:31,897
If we added it up, she's been
two, three years out cold.
133
00:05:31,898 --> 00:05:35,600
She's going to be okay,
thank you.
134
00:05:35,601 --> 00:05:38,103
Mary, I cannot believe
135
00:05:38,104 --> 00:05:40,605
you haven't outgrown
this fainting business.
136
00:05:40,606 --> 00:05:43,108
Oh, Jess, you're talking to me.
137
00:05:43,109 --> 00:05:44,109
Head down.
138
00:05:44,110 --> 00:05:49,047
You fainted over everything,
everywhere we went.
139
00:05:49,048 --> 00:05:51,049
To the dentist,
the movies, the zoo.
140
00:05:51,050 --> 00:05:53,552
I have spent half my life
picking you up off the floor.
141
00:05:56,756 --> 00:05:59,758
Jess, I need you so.
142
00:05:59,759 --> 00:06:02,728
I'm in trouble.
My life is a mess.
143
00:06:02,729 --> 00:06:05,230
I don't know what to do.
144
00:06:05,231 --> 00:06:08,233
The baby might be an alien.
Burt barely speaks to me.
145
00:06:08,234 --> 00:06:10,636
And I've started drinking.
146
00:06:13,639 --> 00:06:17,342
Mary, are you just saying this
to get back on my good side?
147
00:06:18,811 --> 00:06:21,813
Oh, Jessie, I've missed you so.
148
00:06:21,814 --> 00:06:25,617
Well, Mary, I've missed you too.
149
00:06:26,119 --> 00:06:28,553
You have?
150
00:06:28,554 --> 00:06:30,555
Yes.
151
00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:34,059
Yes, I have.
Oh! Oh, Mary.
152
00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:37,062
Oh, Mary, when we broke up,
I just didn't know what to do,
153
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:39,030
because I couldn't
go to my best friend
154
00:06:39,031 --> 00:06:40,031
and tell her about my sister,
155
00:06:40,032 --> 00:06:41,533
and I couldn't go to my sister
156
00:06:41,534 --> 00:06:43,034
and tell her
about my best friend,
157
00:06:43,035 --> 00:06:45,036
because you were both,
and I didn't have anybody
158
00:06:45,037 --> 00:06:46,037
to talk to.
159
00:06:46,038 --> 00:06:47,539
Me neither.
160
00:06:47,540 --> 00:06:51,543
Jess, you do understand about
Chester, don't you?
161
00:06:51,544 --> 00:06:53,044
I mean, there didn't seem
any point,
162
00:06:53,045 --> 00:06:55,547
except possibly to hurt...
163
00:06:55,548 --> 00:06:57,048
I didn't want to do that.
164
00:06:57,049 --> 00:06:59,551
I know, Mary.
165
00:06:59,552 --> 00:07:01,052
Well, it was just
one of those times
166
00:07:01,053 --> 00:07:03,054
when there was no
terrific thing to do.
167
00:07:03,055 --> 00:07:05,056
I mean, to tell me
or not to tell me,
168
00:07:05,057 --> 00:07:07,058
both of them were terrible.
169
00:07:07,059 --> 00:07:10,328
It's okay, Mary.
I understand now.
170
00:07:10,329 --> 00:07:11,296
Jess.
171
00:07:11,297 --> 00:07:12,798
Mwah!
172
00:07:12,799 --> 00:07:15,801
So... what's all this
about your life?
173
00:07:15,802 --> 00:07:19,304
I drink a lot, Jess.
174
00:07:19,305 --> 00:07:23,775
Well, Mary, you should.
The body needs fluids.
175
00:07:23,776 --> 00:07:26,778
See, you can go for weeks
without eating,
176
00:07:26,779 --> 00:07:28,580
but only a couple of days
without drinking.
177
00:07:28,581 --> 00:07:31,883
Then your tongue turns black
and falls out of your head.
178
00:07:31,884 --> 00:07:36,321
No, Jess, alcohol.
I think I'm an alcoholic.
179
00:07:36,322 --> 00:07:38,323
You are not an alcoholic.
180
00:07:38,324 --> 00:07:41,293
Now, what's this about
the baby being an alien?
181
00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:43,261
He does odd things, Jess.
182
00:07:43,262 --> 00:07:47,132
Mary, drunks see things.
183
00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:50,569
Jessica, I am not seeing things.
184
00:07:50,570 --> 00:07:52,437
They're real.
185
00:07:52,438 --> 00:07:56,408
Mary, are you asking me to trust
an alcoholic about this?
186
00:07:57,343 --> 00:07:59,845
Believe me, it is not the baby.
187
00:07:59,846 --> 00:08:01,346
It's the bourbon.
188
00:08:01,347 --> 00:08:03,348
The baby is just fine.
189
00:08:03,349 --> 00:08:04,349
Now, what about Burt?
190
00:08:04,350 --> 00:08:06,351
What's the matter
with you and Burt?
191
00:08:06,352 --> 00:08:07,786
I'm afraid I'm losing him.
192
00:08:07,787 --> 00:08:10,322
Well, Mary, if you keep drinking
and seeing things,
193
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:12,290
can you blame him?
194
00:08:12,291 --> 00:08:15,293
They're real, Jess. Really.
195
00:08:15,294 --> 00:08:17,295
I mean, it started
before the drinking.
196
00:08:17,296 --> 00:08:20,298
Burt and the baby,
it started before.
197
00:08:20,299 --> 00:08:21,233
It did?
198
00:08:21,234 --> 00:08:22,634
Yes.
199
00:08:22,635 --> 00:08:25,570
Come on, Mary, let's go.
200
00:08:25,571 --> 00:08:27,072
We've got a lot to talk about.
201
00:08:27,073 --> 00:08:29,074
We can't talk about it here.
Let's have lunch.
202
00:08:29,075 --> 00:08:30,576
We'll talk about it
over a drink.
203
00:08:44,690 --> 00:08:47,025
So, what do you think?
204
00:08:47,026 --> 00:08:48,927
I think I'm in shock.
205
00:08:48,928 --> 00:08:50,428
What's so shocking?
206
00:08:50,429 --> 00:08:52,364
You asked me to marry you.
207
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:53,865
Now I'm asking you to marry me.
208
00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:55,867
Maggie, I asked you to marry me
209
00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:57,369
when I thought
we were gonna die.
210
00:08:59,338 --> 00:09:00,972
I meant it at the time.
211
00:09:00,973 --> 00:09:02,541
I mean, it's not like I thought,
212
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:04,376
"What the hell,
we're gonna die anyway."
213
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:07,346
Well, you haven't asked me since
we made love in the dungeon.
214
00:09:09,782 --> 00:09:13,151
So I thought I would ask you.
215
00:09:13,152 --> 00:09:16,155
Will you marry me?
216
00:09:19,992 --> 00:09:22,093
Maggie, it's not that
I don't want to.
217
00:09:22,094 --> 00:09:23,662
It's just that,
I don't think you understand
218
00:09:23,663 --> 00:09:25,664
everything that's involved here.
219
00:09:25,665 --> 00:09:29,167
So you're saying that
you do want to...
220
00:09:29,168 --> 00:09:33,138
Maggie, don't you understand?
I don't know what I am.
221
00:09:33,139 --> 00:09:35,641
What if, in two years,
I fall in love with another man?
222
00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:39,644
What if, in two years,
223
00:09:39,645 --> 00:09:40,645
I fall in love with another man?
224
00:09:40,646 --> 00:09:42,080
That's normal.
225
00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:43,081
But that's not normal for me.
226
00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:44,583
I don't fall in love with men.
227
00:09:47,453 --> 00:09:49,955
I love you.
I want to marry you.
228
00:09:49,956 --> 00:09:51,957
Maggie, I'm afraid.
229
00:09:51,958 --> 00:09:53,960
Jodie, you are not a fruit cup.
230
00:09:55,962 --> 00:09:58,430
How do you know?
How do you...
231
00:09:58,431 --> 00:09:59,899
I don't even know that!
232
00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:02,767
So this is it?
233
00:10:02,768 --> 00:10:04,736
This is goodbye?
234
00:10:04,737 --> 00:10:07,672
Maggie, what about therapy?
235
00:10:07,673 --> 00:10:09,608
I don't need it.
236
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:13,778
For me. For me
to be sure... about me.
237
00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:17,282
Jodie, you don't just
go to a shrink
238
00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:19,284
and get straightened out
in a day.
239
00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:22,654
Maggie, I want you to wait.
240
00:10:22,655 --> 00:10:25,757
But I don't feel
that I can ask you to wait.
241
00:10:25,758 --> 00:10:27,259
Will you wait?
242
00:10:30,162 --> 00:10:31,663
Jodie, I love you.
243
00:10:31,664 --> 00:10:34,032
Maggie, I love you.
244
00:10:34,033 --> 00:10:37,636
I just wanna be sure
that I always will.
245
00:10:44,210 --> 00:10:45,210
Hiya, Jodie.
246
00:10:45,211 --> 00:10:46,211
Uh, hey, Phillip.
247
00:10:46,212 --> 00:10:48,713
Haven't seen you,
uh, around lately.
248
00:10:48,714 --> 00:10:51,216
Yeah, I have been
kind of here and there.
249
00:10:52,218 --> 00:10:54,219
This is, uh, interesting.
250
00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:57,222
Uh, Maggie, this is Phillip.
251
00:10:57,223 --> 00:10:59,691
Phillip, this is Maggie,
my fianc?e.
252
00:10:59,692 --> 00:11:02,494
Hi, Phil.
253
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,863
This is a joke, right?
254
00:11:04,864 --> 00:11:06,331
I beg your pardon?
255
00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:08,333
Listen, Phil, it was
really nice seeing you again.
256
00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:10,335
Oh, yeah, right, sure.
257
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:12,337
Uh, Jodie...
258
00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:16,842
Of course it's a real
woman, you idiot.
259
00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:33,425
Sheriff! Sheriff! Sheriff!
260
00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:34,927
All right, knock it off.
261
00:11:35,928 --> 00:11:37,429
Now, I told you,
262
00:11:37,430 --> 00:11:39,831
nobody gets called on
if they stand up.
263
00:11:39,832 --> 00:11:40,833
You must sit down.
264
00:11:42,268 --> 00:11:43,268
And raise your hand.
265
00:11:43,269 --> 00:11:45,770
Man in the leisure suit.
266
00:11:45,771 --> 00:11:48,773
Sheriff, when you had dinner
at the White House,
267
00:11:48,774 --> 00:11:49,774
what did you talk about?
268
00:11:49,775 --> 00:11:52,744
Crime and veal.
269
00:11:52,745 --> 00:11:54,212
Would you elaborate on that?
270
00:11:54,213 --> 00:11:57,115
Well, we voted the veal
is better in the east.
271
00:11:57,116 --> 00:11:58,450
It's more tender.
272
00:11:58,451 --> 00:12:00,885
And that, uh, crime is very bad.
273
00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:02,387
All right, this guy over here
274
00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:03,388
with all the gold chains.
275
00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:05,390
Sheriff,
I'm from People Magazine,
276
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:08,894
we'd, uh, like to know, uh,
what you sleep in.
277
00:12:10,863 --> 00:12:12,864
A bed.
278
00:12:12,865 --> 00:12:13,865
A bed!
279
00:12:13,866 --> 00:12:16,868
Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen,
280
00:12:16,869 --> 00:12:18,369
but this press conference
is over.
281
00:12:19,872 --> 00:12:22,373
Sheriff Campbell has business
to take care of.
282
00:12:22,374 --> 00:12:23,875
There'll be another one
again soon.
283
00:12:23,876 --> 00:12:25,376
Come on.
284
00:12:25,377 --> 00:12:27,378
All right, let's go, let's go.
285
00:12:27,379 --> 00:12:29,881
Next time, wear ties.
286
00:12:29,882 --> 00:12:34,385
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
287
00:12:34,386 --> 00:12:35,887
Okay. There ya go.
288
00:12:39,391 --> 00:12:42,393
Danny, I'm so glad to see you.
289
00:12:42,394 --> 00:12:43,394
Where you been?
290
00:12:43,395 --> 00:12:44,896
It's been a couple of days.
291
00:12:44,897 --> 00:12:46,397
Look, all right.
292
00:12:46,398 --> 00:12:47,899
I'm sorry for what I said.
293
00:12:47,900 --> 00:12:49,901
I-I-I take it
all back.
294
00:12:49,902 --> 00:12:52,403
You and Gwen,
it's fine. It's...
295
00:12:52,404 --> 00:12:54,405
So what'd you do, you eloped?
296
00:12:54,406 --> 00:12:55,907
We didn't elope, Burt.
297
00:12:55,908 --> 00:12:58,409
Good, thank God, because that
was a terrible idea.
298
00:12:58,410 --> 00:13:00,912
How'd you do it?
299
00:13:00,913 --> 00:13:02,347
What'd you say?
300
00:13:02,348 --> 00:13:05,350
Well, they asked me about my dinner
at the White House. I told them.
301
00:13:05,351 --> 00:13:08,853
Nah, come on, don't play games.
What'd you say?
302
00:13:08,854 --> 00:13:10,355
Well, that it was lovely.
303
00:13:10,356 --> 00:13:12,223
That we had veal parmesan
and broccoli.
304
00:13:12,224 --> 00:13:13,591
To Gwen.
305
00:13:13,592 --> 00:13:15,493
What did you say to Gwen?
306
00:13:15,494 --> 00:13:18,930
What? Wait a minute, I didn't...
I haven't... I didn't...
307
00:13:18,931 --> 00:13:20,431
You told her something, Burt.
308
00:13:20,432 --> 00:13:22,433
You told her something
to make her go away.
309
00:13:22,434 --> 00:13:24,435
Now, I wanna know
what it was and where she is!
310
00:13:24,436 --> 00:13:26,938
Danny, I'm telling...
Listen, I'm swearing to you.
311
00:13:26,939 --> 00:13:28,439
I don't know
what you're talking about.
312
00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:30,375
I didn't see her, I didn't
talk to... What's up?
313
00:13:30,376 --> 00:13:32,277
She's gone.
314
00:13:32,278 --> 00:13:35,246
I went out to rent a car,
and when I came back, she was gone.
315
00:13:35,247 --> 00:13:38,650
She was gonna marry me, Burt.
And then you tell me
316
00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,653
you think it's a bad idea,
and then she disappears.
317
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:43,655
Now, what the hell
did you say to her?
318
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:46,658
Did you tell her to leave
for me, huh? For my career?
319
00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:48,159
What the hell did you say, Burt?
320
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,161
Danny listen to me.
Now, listen. I swear,
321
00:13:50,162 --> 00:13:52,597
I swear that I said
nothing to her.
322
00:13:52,598 --> 00:13:54,098
I haven't seen her, Danny.
323
00:13:54,099 --> 00:13:57,535
That was a terrific news
conference, sheriff.
324
00:13:57,536 --> 00:13:59,037
Yeah fine, Perkins...
325
00:13:59,038 --> 00:14:00,038
Boy, those answers were great.
326
00:14:00,039 --> 00:14:03,541
Bed! I love that!
You sleep in a bed.
327
00:14:03,542 --> 00:14:05,043
Ha-ha. Great answers!
328
00:14:05,044 --> 00:14:07,045
Did you come in here
329
00:14:07,046 --> 00:14:09,047
just to kinda
shoot the breeze or what?
330
00:14:09,048 --> 00:14:10,548
Oh, no, I brought the mail, sir.
331
00:14:10,549 --> 00:14:12,050
Uh, there's some fan letters,
332
00:14:12,051 --> 00:14:14,052
uh, your subscription
to Guns and Ammo has started.
333
00:14:14,053 --> 00:14:16,054
Thank you, Perkins,
you can leave now.
334
00:14:16,055 --> 00:14:18,056
One from Bill Buckley.
I'd read it right away.
335
00:14:18,057 --> 00:14:20,058
And a letter
from your girlfriend.
336
00:14:20,059 --> 00:14:21,559
Perkins.
337
00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:22,560
Yes, sir?
338
00:14:22,561 --> 00:14:24,062
Could you go?
339
00:14:24,063 --> 00:14:26,064
Sure.
340
00:14:26,065 --> 00:14:27,066
Now?
341
00:14:31,570 --> 00:14:33,572
I'm sor...
342
00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:50,588
"Dear Danny, I can't marry you.
I don't love you.
343
00:14:50,589 --> 00:14:53,091
"I never have.
You're just a good friend.
344
00:14:53,092 --> 00:14:59,030
That's all. Gwen."
345
00:14:59,031 --> 00:15:02,934
Danny, I'm sorry. I had
nothing to do with this.
346
00:15:02,935 --> 00:15:05,436
I would never hurt you
like this.
347
00:15:05,437 --> 00:15:07,439
Danny, I am...
I'm sorry.
348
00:15:10,442 --> 00:15:12,944
Guess I owe you an apology.
349
00:15:12,945 --> 00:15:14,946
No, just forget about that.
350
00:15:14,947 --> 00:15:16,948
What is it, Burt?
351
00:15:16,949 --> 00:15:19,450
What the hell happens?
352
00:15:19,451 --> 00:15:24,923
Elaine gets murdered,
Polly leaves me, and now Gwen.
353
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:28,826
Every time I fall in love,
something happens.
354
00:15:28,827 --> 00:15:33,197
Is this the way it's gonna be
for the rest of my life?
355
00:15:33,198 --> 00:15:35,099
Am I gonna be alone forever?
356
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:37,101
Come on, Danny.
What are you talking...
357
00:15:38,103 --> 00:15:40,605
Wait a minute.
358
00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:42,608
Hi-ho, Bat Campbell here.
359
00:15:44,109 --> 00:15:47,545
Whoopsie-do, governor.
How are ya?
360
00:15:47,546 --> 00:15:49,580
Hoo-hoo!
361
00:15:49,581 --> 00:15:52,583
No, busy. Am I?
Of course I'm not busy.
362
00:15:52,584 --> 00:15:54,085
Whatever you... Go ahead.
363
00:15:54,086 --> 00:15:56,921
Golf?
364
00:15:56,922 --> 00:15:58,423
Oh! When?
365
00:15:58,424 --> 00:16:02,427
Sunday, you got it!
Golf, I love golf.
366
00:16:02,428 --> 00:16:03,929
I love the shirts.
367
00:16:11,270 --> 00:16:12,770
Have a seat, Mr. Dallas.
368
00:16:12,771 --> 00:16:14,772
Dr. Rudolph will be with you
in just a minute.
369
00:16:14,773 --> 00:16:16,274
Thank you.
370
00:16:18,777 --> 00:16:20,278
Ooh!
371
00:16:20,279 --> 00:16:21,779
Hello.
372
00:16:21,780 --> 00:16:23,781
Dr. Rudolph?
373
00:16:23,782 --> 00:16:24,782
Hello.
374
00:16:24,783 --> 00:16:26,784
I'm Jodie Dallas...
I'm sorry,
375
00:16:26,785 --> 00:16:28,786
my palms are a little
sweaty. I'm nervous.
376
00:16:28,787 --> 00:16:30,722
I take it this is
your first therapy season.
377
00:16:30,723 --> 00:16:32,223
You could tell.
378
00:16:32,224 --> 00:16:35,693
It's perfectly normal to be
a little nervous the first time.
379
00:16:35,694 --> 00:16:36,694
Oh, good.
380
00:16:36,695 --> 00:16:38,196
Therapy can be
pretty terrifying,
381
00:16:38,197 --> 00:16:39,697
or it can be really...
382
00:16:39,698 --> 00:16:41,199
Everybody down!
383
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:42,700
What is it?
384
00:16:42,701 --> 00:16:44,168
Bees.
385
00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:45,203
What?
386
00:16:45,204 --> 00:16:46,704
Bees.
387
00:16:46,705 --> 00:16:47,705
Where?
388
00:16:47,706 --> 00:16:49,207
All around us!
389
00:16:49,208 --> 00:16:51,710
Get back!
390
00:16:53,212 --> 00:16:54,713
Get back!
391
00:16:56,215 --> 00:16:59,184
I take it you're not the doctor.
392
00:17:00,719 --> 00:17:02,220
They're gone.
393
00:17:02,221 --> 00:17:04,655
But they'll be back.
394
00:17:04,656 --> 00:17:07,659
They always come back.
Bees are animals.
395
00:17:09,495 --> 00:17:13,998
They're back.
Get away from me.
396
00:17:13,999 --> 00:17:17,502
Ooh! Get them off!
397
00:17:17,503 --> 00:17:22,006
It's pretty unusual for this
time of the year, isn't it?
398
00:17:22,007 --> 00:17:23,441
Ow!
399
00:17:23,442 --> 00:17:24,776
What?
400
00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:27,278
I'm stung...
401
00:17:27,279 --> 00:17:28,780
right on the beeper!
402
00:17:28,781 --> 00:17:30,782
Do something.
403
00:17:30,783 --> 00:17:32,784
Help me! Help me!
404
00:17:32,785 --> 00:17:36,287
Uh, how about a little
calamine lotion?
405
00:17:36,288 --> 00:17:37,755
What?
406
00:17:37,756 --> 00:17:41,759
Look, uh, a little
calamine lotion.
407
00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:44,662
Are you crazy?
408
00:17:44,663 --> 00:17:48,400
That bottle is completely empty.
409
00:17:50,235 --> 00:17:52,237
I'm getting out of here.
410
00:17:58,010 --> 00:17:59,510
Okay, that's it.
411
00:17:59,511 --> 00:18:01,512
Mr. Dallas.
412
00:18:01,513 --> 00:18:03,514
H-h-hi. Hi.
413
00:18:03,515 --> 00:18:06,017
I'm feeling much better now.
Thank you.
414
00:18:06,018 --> 00:18:10,021
I know. Everyone's a little
nervous the first time.
415
00:18:10,022 --> 00:18:11,522
Dr. Rudolph?
416
00:18:11,523 --> 00:18:12,523
Yes.
417
00:18:12,524 --> 00:18:14,025
Hi.
418
00:18:14,026 --> 00:18:17,028
Uh, can I ask you something?
419
00:18:17,029 --> 00:18:18,529
That guy who just left here...
420
00:18:18,530 --> 00:18:21,533
Bigelow. Nice fella.
Hates bees.
421
00:18:23,035 --> 00:18:25,036
What seems to be troubling you?
422
00:18:25,037 --> 00:18:26,537
Nothing.
423
00:18:26,538 --> 00:18:28,940
This is gonna be
a short session.
424
00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:33,945
Well. Have a seat.
425
00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:37,949
See, I don't, uh...
426
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:40,451
I don't see bees
flying around or anything.
427
00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:42,120
I'm a pretty normal guy.
428
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:45,389
I see. But there must be
some reason why you're here.
429
00:18:45,390 --> 00:18:47,325
Yes.
430
00:18:50,562 --> 00:18:52,396
I wanna get married.
431
00:18:52,397 --> 00:18:54,232
To me?
432
00:18:54,233 --> 00:18:57,602
No, you see, I'm gay.
Or I used to be gay.
433
00:18:57,603 --> 00:19:00,104
I don't know, but I know
I'm in love with a woman,
434
00:19:00,105 --> 00:19:01,572
and I wanna marry her.
435
00:19:01,573 --> 00:19:02,940
Why don't ya?
436
00:19:02,941 --> 00:19:04,842
Because it wouldn't
be fair to her.
437
00:19:04,843 --> 00:19:06,844
Say we had a child,
and in two years,
438
00:19:06,845 --> 00:19:08,279
I fall in love with another man.
439
00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:10,181
Do you want children?
440
00:19:10,182 --> 00:19:12,683
Oh yeah, that's why I have one.
441
00:19:12,684 --> 00:19:13,684
You have a child?
442
00:19:13,685 --> 00:19:16,587
Mm-hm. But not by her,
by another woman.
443
00:19:16,588 --> 00:19:19,357
Let me get his straight.
444
00:19:19,358 --> 00:19:21,726
You have a child by one woman,
445
00:19:21,727 --> 00:19:23,094
but you want to marry
another woman
446
00:19:23,095 --> 00:19:25,062
and someday
have children with her,
447
00:19:25,063 --> 00:19:27,832
and you're worried
about being gay.
448
00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:32,136
The other woman doesn't count,
because it wasn't love.
449
00:19:32,137 --> 00:19:33,137
That's a whole other story.
450
00:19:33,138 --> 00:19:34,505
Story?
451
00:19:34,506 --> 00:19:36,908
Sounds like a miniseries.
452
00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:38,409
So I thought I would come
to a shrink...
453
00:19:38,410 --> 00:19:40,311
I beg your pardon.
454
00:19:40,312 --> 00:19:42,280
Oh, that's perfectly all right.
455
00:19:42,281 --> 00:19:43,781
I don't mind being called
a shrink.
456
00:19:43,782 --> 00:19:46,050
I call my shrink a shrink.
457
00:19:46,051 --> 00:19:47,552
You've have a shrink?
458
00:19:47,553 --> 00:19:49,353
Shrinks can't have shrinks?
459
00:19:49,354 --> 00:19:52,256
Yeah, sure,
I... I guess that's normal.
460
00:19:52,257 --> 00:19:53,658
I mean, you spend all day
461
00:19:53,659 --> 00:19:55,660
listening
to everybody's problems,
462
00:19:55,661 --> 00:19:57,161
I imagine you'd go
a little bananas.
463
00:19:57,162 --> 00:19:59,597
We don't like
to use the term "bananas."
464
00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:04,368
"Bananas" and "crackers."
465
00:20:04,369 --> 00:20:05,803
Sorry.
466
00:20:05,804 --> 00:20:07,572
It's all right.
It's perfectly true.
467
00:20:07,573 --> 00:20:11,309
If I didn't have a shrink,
I probably would go bananas.
468
00:20:11,310 --> 00:20:12,277
So you'll help me?
469
00:20:12,278 --> 00:20:15,746
Well, we can work on this,
and in time,
470
00:20:15,747 --> 00:20:19,484
I think we can come
to some conclusions.
471
00:20:20,986 --> 00:20:21,986
How long?
472
00:20:21,987 --> 00:20:23,454
Depends.
473
00:20:23,455 --> 00:20:25,923
May take a matter of months
or a matter of years.
474
00:20:25,924 --> 00:20:27,892
Most likely the latter.
475
00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:30,328
I can't ask Maggie
to wait years for me.
476
00:20:30,329 --> 00:20:32,763
Mr. Dallas,
there are no shortcuts.
477
00:20:32,764 --> 00:20:34,165
What about hypnosis?
478
00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:36,200
You know, I read that
some woman some place
479
00:20:36,201 --> 00:20:38,169
was brought back to another life
or something,
480
00:20:38,170 --> 00:20:40,137
and in a matter of moments,
it became clear
481
00:20:40,138 --> 00:20:42,573
as to why she cried
every time she wore a hat.
482
00:20:42,574 --> 00:20:44,542
Hypnotherapy is a tool,
483
00:20:44,543 --> 00:20:47,445
but it's not always effective,
Mr. Dallas. There are dangers.
484
00:20:47,446 --> 00:20:48,446
Like what?
485
00:20:48,447 --> 00:20:50,948
Well, it is conceivable
that I couldn't bring you back.
486
00:20:50,949 --> 00:20:54,819
You could actually get locked
into a different time period.
487
00:20:54,820 --> 00:20:57,321
And I'd get sued up the gi-gi.
488
00:20:57,322 --> 00:21:00,291
I'd sign a waver releasing you
of all liabilities.
489
00:21:00,292 --> 00:21:04,228
Then again, hypnotherapy can
prove to be extremely valuable.
490
00:21:04,229 --> 00:21:06,731
Would you be interested
in some other forms
491
00:21:06,732 --> 00:21:07,732
of psychiatric shortcuts?
492
00:21:07,733 --> 00:21:08,733
Like what?
493
00:21:08,734 --> 00:21:12,236
Oh, the, uh, sensory
deprivation tank.
494
00:21:12,237 --> 00:21:13,237
What's this?
495
00:21:13,238 --> 00:21:14,238
Trust me, you'll love it.
496
00:21:14,239 --> 00:21:16,240
Sign right there.
497
00:21:16,241 --> 00:21:20,077
Then there's LSD 25.
498
00:21:20,078 --> 00:21:22,346
A very fine alternative.
499
00:21:22,347 --> 00:21:23,881
No, no acid.
500
00:21:23,882 --> 00:21:25,283
I draw the line
at hallucinogenics.
501
00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:27,786
Great, just testing.
It's illegal anyway.
502
00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:32,790
Well, uh, when can
I begin treatment?
503
00:21:32,791 --> 00:21:34,292
Now, that's the hard part.
504
00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:36,761
Let me see when I can
possibly get to you.
505
00:21:36,762 --> 00:21:37,762
Oh, tomorrow would be great.
506
00:21:37,763 --> 00:21:40,264
What luck! I just happen
to have free time tomorrow.
507
00:21:40,265 --> 00:21:41,766
That's terrific.
508
00:21:41,767 --> 00:21:42,767
Same time tomorrow?
509
00:21:42,768 --> 00:21:45,770
Great, see you then.
510
00:21:45,771 --> 00:21:46,771
Uh, doctor...
511
00:21:46,772 --> 00:21:49,174
Sorry, we don't validate.
512
00:21:53,645 --> 00:21:55,646
Cancel my appointment
for tomorrow at this time.
513
00:21:55,647 --> 00:22:00,618
Have we got a hot one.
This guy actually signs wavers!
514
00:22:09,161 --> 00:22:11,729
Since the psychiatrist convinced Jodie
515
00:22:11,730 --> 00:22:13,731
that hypnosis might help himfind himself,
516
00:22:13,732 --> 00:22:15,733
will Jodie findanything he likes?
517
00:22:15,734 --> 00:22:18,235
And if not, will he stillpay his doctor's bill?
518
00:22:18,236 --> 00:22:20,738
Now that Jessica and Marystarted speaking again,
519
00:22:20,739 --> 00:22:22,239
will Mary stop drinking?
520
00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:24,642
Or will she continue to findsolace in a bottle?
521
00:22:24,643 --> 00:22:27,645
Will Burt's newfound fame causehis ego to grow?
522
00:22:27,646 --> 00:22:30,147
And if so, will he have to finda bigger office?
523
00:22:30,148 --> 00:22:32,149
These questions and many others
524
00:22:32,150 --> 00:22:35,553
will be answeredin the next episode of Soap.
525
00:22:35,603 --> 00:22:40,153
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
36199
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof