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This is the story of two sisters,
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Jessica Tate
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and Mary Campbell.
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These are the Tates,
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and these are the Campbells.
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And this is Soap.
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Yeah, but...
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Yeah, but...
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But... But...
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Yeah, but...
What?
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But...
What?
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What?
What?
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What?
What?
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What?!... But...
What?
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All right.
Yeah, no. Yeah, well.
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No, thanks.
Thanks anyway.
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00:01:05,999 --> 00:01:06,999
What did he say?
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It's not terrific.
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Burt, tell me.
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Well, it's a little sketchy,
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but it's not hopeless.
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Burt, would you just tell me?
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Carol can take the baby...
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and there isn't
a thing on this earth
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you can do about it.
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That's not hopeless?
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Jodie, when a parent takes her
own child out of state,
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doesn't ask for ransom,
its not kidnapping.
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What if she's still
in the state?
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Could you do something then?
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Jodie, please.
I hardly think a person
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would snatch their kid
and take in a matinee.
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Burt, are you going to help me?
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Damn it!
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You're mad, right?
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No, no, I'm not mad.
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I'm going to kill her, Burt!
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I'm going to kill her!
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You kill... You can't kill...
No kill!
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You said you
weren't going to do anything.
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That is not true, I did not say
I wasn't going to do anything.
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Now, sit down.
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I just said
I couldn't do anything.
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Jodie, come on.
The law's the law.
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Tell me what
the D.A. said.
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To hell
with the D.A.
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What if it was
the D.A.'s kid, huh?
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It's the same
difference here. No, it's not.
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All right, big news.
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We are talking big.
What?
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I just got this kidnap note
back from the lab.
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Yeah, well, what did they say?
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That's not important,
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its what they said
that's important.
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Like?
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Like the note was analyzed
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and discovered
to be written on paper
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with a pen of some kind.
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But...
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there were no fingerprints,
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no hairs, no...
No makeup traces,
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no identifying marks
of any kind.
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So?
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So...
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if Carol hadn't signed it,
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we wouldn't have known
it was her.
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I can't believe this,
I got to go.
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Jodie, there's nothing
legally I can do.
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Well, there is something
that I can do.
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What?
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Find her, that's what.
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Find her. Of course!
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Danny, please. This...
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00:03:02,882 --> 00:03:04,883
Burt, I'll find Carol
and I'll kill her,
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00:03:04,884 --> 00:03:07,386
and then I'm going to find Tibbs
and I'm going to kill him,
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00:03:07,387 --> 00:03:09,889
and then you can find me
and kill me.
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Why would I kill you?
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00:03:13,393 --> 00:03:16,895
Well, I don't know, it's just
in the planning stages.
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00:03:16,896 --> 00:03:18,897
Who's this Tibbs
you're talking about?
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00:03:18,898 --> 00:03:20,899
No, no. It's nobody.
It's nothing.
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A cat.
Mrs. Schlockmeis' cat.
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Tearing up the azaleas.
Makes Danny crazy.
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Get out of here.
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Burt?
It's nothing.
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It's a little routine blackmail.
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Happens to sheriffs
all the time.
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Don't worry about it.
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Let's just concentrate
on getting Wendy back.
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00:03:33,913 --> 00:03:36,415
First things first.
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00:03:36,416 --> 00:03:38,417
Let's all calm down.
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00:03:38,418 --> 00:03:40,919
Not going to solve anything
flying off walls.
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You're right, Burt.
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00:03:41,921 --> 00:03:43,922
It's just,
I don't know what to do.
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00:03:43,923 --> 00:03:45,924
Don't lose faith.
That's one thing we can't do.
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Don't lose faith.
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00:03:47,427 --> 00:03:48,927
We'll find a way, I promise you.
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00:03:48,928 --> 00:03:50,929
That's my own granddaughter
we're talking about.
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You're right, Burt.
I'm sorry.
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We'll think of something.
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00:03:55,435 --> 00:03:58,437
I got it!
Oh! Heh...
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It's so simple,
I'm surprised I thought of it.
102
00:04:04,444 --> 00:04:05,444
What?
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00:04:05,445 --> 00:04:07,446
We find Carol.
104
00:04:07,447 --> 00:04:08,947
We call her up,
105
00:04:08,948 --> 00:04:11,450
and we tell her that she
nabbed the wrong baby
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and when she comes back
107
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to make the switch...
Whammo!
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I got to go, I just got to go.
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Jodie, come on.
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No, listen.
Fellas, listen.
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I understand that there is
nothing legal that you can do,
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and I don't blame you, okay?
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Believe me, I don't blame you.
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I just have to do this
my own way.
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What are you going to do, Jodie?
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Jodie, be careful.
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Poor guy.
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Oh, I feel terrible,
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but there's nothing I can do.
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I couldn't cross the state line
121
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and bring her back
for kidnapping
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even if it was kidnapping.
123
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Oh, what a mess.
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Leslie is trying to kill Billy,
Tibbs is blackmailing us,
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00:04:55,461 --> 00:04:58,463
Jodie wants to kill Carol.
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00:04:58,464 --> 00:04:59,965
Why is it all the crimes
in this town
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seem to be in my own family?
128
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:08,974
Ta-da!
129
00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:10,475
Here we are!
130
00:05:10,476 --> 00:05:12,477
Oh, oh!
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00:05:12,478 --> 00:05:13,979
Oh, it's lovely to be home.
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Hello, Saunders.
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Hello, Mrs. Tate.
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Welcome home.
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Oh! That's lovely,
thank you.
136
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No.
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No?
No.
138
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:24,990
Oh.
139
00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:26,491
Oh, Mother, it's just so good
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00:05:26,492 --> 00:05:28,493
to have you home again.
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Thank you, Eunice.
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00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:30,996
It's nice to be here too.
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00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:32,497
And so much has happened.
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I have to catch up on it all.
145
00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:35,500
Well, Leslie has been...
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00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:37,502
Billy,
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I don't think we should mention
the murder attempts,
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we don't want to upset Mother.
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00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:43,508
I'll handle it.
You can trust me.
150
00:05:43,509 --> 00:05:46,511
So, Billy, what's new with you?
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00:05:46,512 --> 00:05:48,513
Nothing is new.
What could be new? Not a thing.
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Everything's old,
you didn't miss a thing,
153
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I have nothing new to report.
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00:05:52,518 --> 00:05:54,019
Billy, I think
you made your point.
155
00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:55,020
Right, Dad.
156
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:57,022
Daddy, what's new with you?
157
00:05:57,023 --> 00:06:00,025
I met a girl in France.
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She promised to fly
to America and be my bride
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00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:04,997
when the war is over.
160
00:06:06,432 --> 00:06:10,936
Major, the war has been over
for 35 years.
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00:06:10,937 --> 00:06:12,938
Really?
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00:06:12,939 --> 00:06:14,373
Mm-hm.
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00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:18,410
I'd better get to the airport.
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00:06:18,411 --> 00:06:20,412
Hope she ate on the plane.
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00:06:20,413 --> 00:06:22,914
Mother?
Hm?
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00:06:22,915 --> 00:06:24,916
Dutch and I
have something to tell you.
167
00:06:24,917 --> 00:06:26,918
Really?
We saved the biggest for last.
168
00:06:26,919 --> 00:06:28,420
Oh, what is it Eunice?
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We're getting married.
Oh!
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Eunice, that's wonderful.
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00:06:32,425 --> 00:06:34,426
Chester, isn't that wonderful?
172
00:06:34,427 --> 00:06:38,930
Oh, my goodness. A wedding
in this house. How brilliant!
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Chester!
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00:06:39,932 --> 00:06:43,435
Dad, what are you doing?
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00:06:45,938 --> 00:06:47,940
Sorry, I lost my head.
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Princess, did you say "marry"?
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Right in this house, Daddy.
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00:06:56,282 --> 00:06:58,784
Oh, Chester, isn't it wonderful?
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00:06:58,785 --> 00:07:02,287
A wedding in this house.
You know, Eunice,
180
00:07:02,288 --> 00:07:03,789
Grandma and Grandpa
were married here,
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00:07:03,790 --> 00:07:06,792
Aunt Mary and her first husband
were married here,
182
00:07:06,793 --> 00:07:08,794
my first husband and I
were married here...
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00:07:08,795 --> 00:07:09,795
Which of course is Chester,
184
00:07:09,796 --> 00:07:12,798
and, actually, he still is
my first husband.
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00:07:12,799 --> 00:07:14,299
For now, anyway.
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00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:15,801
And now you and Dutch
are marrying here.
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00:07:15,802 --> 00:07:17,302
Oh, it's going to be wonderful.
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00:07:17,303 --> 00:07:20,305
I won't allow it!
I will not allow it.
189
00:07:20,306 --> 00:07:21,807
But, big guy, gee whiz!
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00:07:21,808 --> 00:07:23,308
What do you mean?
191
00:07:23,309 --> 00:07:27,312
First of all, he is
an unemployed ex-convict
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00:07:27,313 --> 00:07:29,815
who was incarcerated for murder.
193
00:07:29,816 --> 00:07:32,317
Secondly, he eats
with his hands.
194
00:07:32,318 --> 00:07:36,321
Now, Chester,
you're a murderer too.
195
00:07:36,322 --> 00:07:41,326
Yes, but my manners
are impeccable.
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00:07:41,327 --> 00:07:43,328
That is not fair.
197
00:07:43,329 --> 00:07:44,830
We're in love,
198
00:07:44,831 --> 00:07:45,831
and we're going to get married
199
00:07:45,832 --> 00:07:47,332
with or without your blessing.
200
00:07:47,333 --> 00:07:50,836
Oh, ho! Blessing?
I was working on a hex.
201
00:07:50,837 --> 00:07:51,837
Chester, stop it.
202
00:07:51,838 --> 00:07:53,338
Hold it, everybody.
203
00:07:53,339 --> 00:07:55,340
I understand how the big guy
feels, and he's right.
204
00:07:55,341 --> 00:07:57,843
Everything he says
about me is right.
205
00:07:57,844 --> 00:07:59,845
The only thing I can say is...
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00:07:59,846 --> 00:08:02,848
I love your little girl,
big guy,
207
00:08:02,849 --> 00:08:04,850
and I'll take good care of her.
208
00:08:04,851 --> 00:08:07,854
I really love her.
And I love you too.
209
00:08:08,855 --> 00:08:11,356
And I'd be honored
if you'd be my best man.
210
00:08:11,357 --> 00:08:13,358
I can't be your best man.
211
00:08:13,359 --> 00:08:16,361
I'm the bride's father.
I have to give Eunice away...
212
00:08:16,362 --> 00:08:17,362
Oh.
213
00:08:17,363 --> 00:08:18,363
To you.
214
00:08:22,368 --> 00:08:24,870
My little girl.
215
00:08:26,372 --> 00:08:28,373
Mother,
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00:08:28,374 --> 00:08:30,375
aren't you happy for me?
217
00:08:30,376 --> 00:08:32,377
Oh, Eunice,
218
00:08:32,378 --> 00:08:34,379
I'm... relieved.
219
00:08:34,380 --> 00:08:36,381
I mean, I realize
it's none of my business,
220
00:08:36,382 --> 00:08:38,884
but I did feel
a little uncomfortable
221
00:08:38,885 --> 00:08:40,886
when you were fooling around.
222
00:08:40,887 --> 00:08:42,888
But now that I know
you're getting married,
223
00:08:42,889 --> 00:08:45,891
I guess the fooling around
wasn't really fooling around,
224
00:08:45,892 --> 00:08:48,894
it was just sort of practice.
225
00:08:48,895 --> 00:08:51,396
Yeah, we fooled around a lot.
226
00:08:51,397 --> 00:08:53,398
Dutch!
227
00:08:53,399 --> 00:08:54,900
Oh, big guy,
228
00:08:54,901 --> 00:08:55,901
there's only one more thing
229
00:08:55,902 --> 00:08:57,402
that I would like
to have happen.
230
00:08:57,403 --> 00:08:58,403
And if it happened,
231
00:08:58,404 --> 00:09:00,906
I'd be the happiest guy
in the whole U.S.A.
232
00:09:00,907 --> 00:09:04,876
Me too, only it would have to
look like an accident.
233
00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:09,882
If I could just call you Dad,
you could call me son.
234
00:09:11,817 --> 00:09:15,320
Dad, come on.
Get ahold of yourself.
235
00:09:17,823 --> 00:09:19,824
Ahem. Sorry.
236
00:09:19,825 --> 00:09:22,827
I'm behaving like a fool.
237
00:09:22,828 --> 00:09:25,330
Of course I'm delighted.
238
00:09:25,331 --> 00:09:27,832
When's the happy day?
239
00:09:27,833 --> 00:09:28,833
Next week, Daddy.
240
00:09:31,337 --> 00:09:32,837
Chester!
241
00:09:32,838 --> 00:09:33,838
Oh!
242
00:09:33,839 --> 00:09:36,341
Oh! Sorry.
243
00:09:36,342 --> 00:09:40,345
I'm all right. I'm fine.
I'm just overwhelmed.
244
00:09:40,346 --> 00:09:45,350
I always wanted my princess
to have a proper wedding.
245
00:09:45,351 --> 00:09:47,352
News coverage,
246
00:09:47,353 --> 00:09:53,858
dignitaries, surrounded
by senators and congressmen.
247
00:09:53,859 --> 00:09:56,361
Next week, my little girl
will be married
248
00:09:56,362 --> 00:10:02,367
and I'll be surrounded by people
named Blackie and Cheech.
249
00:10:02,368 --> 00:10:06,372
Okay, this time
I'm really going to do it.
250
00:10:07,773 --> 00:10:11,176
Oh, God. Not again!
251
00:10:11,177 --> 00:10:14,145
This is like living on
the Lebanese border.
252
00:10:14,146 --> 00:10:17,148
Leslie, when are you going to
knock this off?
253
00:10:17,149 --> 00:10:18,650
Billy, don't make trouble, okay?
254
00:10:18,651 --> 00:10:20,652
Leslie, how are you dear?
255
00:10:20,653 --> 00:10:23,655
Oh, hi, Mrs. Tate.
256
00:10:23,656 --> 00:10:25,156
Oh, you look wonderful.
257
00:10:25,157 --> 00:10:27,158
Oh, thank you.
258
00:10:27,159 --> 00:10:29,160
Oh, I was so worried.
259
00:10:29,161 --> 00:10:30,662
I was going to send you a card,
260
00:10:30,663 --> 00:10:33,164
but I was afraid they might
try and trace it.
261
00:10:33,165 --> 00:10:35,667
Well, it's a lovely
thought, dear.
262
00:10:35,668 --> 00:10:38,670
Oh, well, I'm so glad
you're home. Welcome back.
263
00:10:38,671 --> 00:10:40,672
I'm going to have to
blow you up now.
264
00:10:40,673 --> 00:10:43,675
All right, dear.
265
00:10:43,676 --> 00:10:46,678
Leslie, this is insane.
266
00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:49,180
What did you say,
you gutless twit?
267
00:10:49,181 --> 00:10:51,683
Nothing, nothing.
Not a thing.
268
00:10:51,684 --> 00:10:53,184
Gutless twit?
269
00:10:53,185 --> 00:10:54,185
Funny.
270
00:10:58,190 --> 00:11:01,192
Well, say your prayers, people,
271
00:11:01,193 --> 00:11:03,695
'cause we're all
going up together.
272
00:11:16,609 --> 00:11:19,110
Dutch.
273
00:11:19,111 --> 00:11:21,112
My God.
274
00:11:21,113 --> 00:11:23,115
Oh, no!
275
00:11:25,117 --> 00:11:27,118
Goodbye, dear.
276
00:11:27,119 --> 00:11:29,120
Dutch, that was amazing.
277
00:11:29,121 --> 00:11:30,622
I guess it was a dud.
278
00:11:30,623 --> 00:11:34,125
Dutch, I hardly know
what to say, except...
279
00:11:34,126 --> 00:11:36,127
that was the bravest,
most selfless thing
280
00:11:36,128 --> 00:11:37,062
I've ever seen.
281
00:11:37,063 --> 00:11:39,564
Hey, it was a dud.
282
00:11:39,565 --> 00:11:42,000
Yes, but you didn't know that.
283
00:11:42,001 --> 00:11:45,236
I've been very wrong
about you, Dutch, I'm sorry.
284
00:11:45,237 --> 00:11:46,705
As for marrying my little girl,
285
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:51,710
I'd be honored to have you
join our family, son.
286
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,179
Big guy.
287
00:11:54,680 --> 00:11:57,682
Dad!
288
00:11:57,683 --> 00:12:00,185
You're crushing my pencils.
289
00:12:00,186 --> 00:12:01,686
Oh!
290
00:12:01,687 --> 00:12:03,688
Uh...
291
00:12:03,689 --> 00:12:04,689
Saunders.
292
00:12:04,690 --> 00:12:05,624
Yes.
293
00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:07,559
Would you dispose
of this thing, please?
294
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,061
Not a chance.
295
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,063
Back away, men.
296
00:12:12,064 --> 00:12:16,067
I've had experience
with these babies.
297
00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:18,570
I shall deactivate her.
298
00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:22,073
Billy, how long
has this been going on?
299
00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:23,575
Going on?
What, Ma?
300
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:26,077
How long has Leslie
been trying to blow you up?
301
00:12:26,078 --> 00:12:28,079
It's the first time.
I can't understand it.
302
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:30,582
Damndest thing.
It may be a phase.
303
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:31,583
Billy.
304
00:12:44,396 --> 00:12:46,397
Daddy?
305
00:12:46,398 --> 00:12:48,400
Well, it's deactivated.
306
00:12:50,402 --> 00:12:51,903
Mrs. Tate,
I shall now
307
00:12:51,904 --> 00:12:53,905
be taking your father
to the hospital.
308
00:12:53,906 --> 00:12:57,375
Whenever you're ready,
dinner is on the stove.
309
00:12:57,376 --> 00:13:00,879
The stove, however,
is in the pool.
310
00:13:13,893 --> 00:13:14,893
Jess.
311
00:13:14,894 --> 00:13:17,896
Hi, Mary.
How are you?
312
00:13:17,897 --> 00:13:18,897
Jess.
313
00:13:18,898 --> 00:13:21,399
You are already said that, Mary.
314
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:22,400
Is something wrong?
315
00:13:22,401 --> 00:13:24,402
Oh, Jess.
Something's wrong.
316
00:13:24,403 --> 00:13:26,905
Oh, Jessie, Jessie.
317
00:13:26,906 --> 00:13:28,907
Oh, Mary, Mary.
318
00:13:28,908 --> 00:13:30,408
Here, sit down.
319
00:13:30,409 --> 00:13:31,409
Now, don't say a word.
320
00:13:31,410 --> 00:13:32,911
Just sit, collect yourself,
321
00:13:32,912 --> 00:13:33,912
take a deep breath.
322
00:13:36,415 --> 00:13:37,415
Now, tell me.
323
00:13:37,416 --> 00:13:38,416
Oh, Jess!
324
00:13:38,417 --> 00:13:40,418
This is not going well.
325
00:13:40,419 --> 00:13:42,420
I can't...
I can't stand it.
326
00:13:42,421 --> 00:13:44,422
After all I've been through,
how could he?
327
00:13:44,423 --> 00:13:45,924
How could he?
328
00:13:45,925 --> 00:13:47,926
I can't really say, Mary.
329
00:13:47,927 --> 00:13:49,427
After all he's put me through.
330
00:13:49,428 --> 00:13:52,430
Impotence, infidelity,
invisibility.
331
00:13:52,431 --> 00:13:55,433
The three I's.
332
00:13:55,434 --> 00:13:57,435
And now this.
What?
333
00:13:57,436 --> 00:13:58,436
This.
334
00:13:58,437 --> 00:14:00,438
Oh, Jess!
335
00:14:00,439 --> 00:14:02,941
If only you knew
what was in here.
336
00:14:02,942 --> 00:14:07,445
It would make it easier
to have this conversation.
337
00:14:07,446 --> 00:14:09,447
This is something, Jess.
This is really something.
338
00:14:09,448 --> 00:14:10,949
Oh, tell me, Mary!
339
00:14:10,950 --> 00:14:11,950
I can't.
340
00:14:11,951 --> 00:14:14,452
If I tell you something,
will you tell me something?
341
00:14:14,453 --> 00:14:16,921
But you don't have anything
like this something.
342
00:14:16,922 --> 00:14:19,424
Well, I don't know anything
about your something,
343
00:14:19,425 --> 00:14:21,292
but I've got something.
344
00:14:21,293 --> 00:14:22,760
What?
345
00:14:22,761 --> 00:14:25,263
Chester and I are going
to be divorced.
346
00:14:25,264 --> 00:14:26,264
No.
347
00:14:26,265 --> 00:14:27,265
Yes.
348
00:14:27,266 --> 00:14:29,267
Oh, Jessica. Divorce!
349
00:14:29,268 --> 00:14:31,269
Well, that's something.
350
00:14:31,270 --> 00:14:32,270
I told you.
351
00:14:32,271 --> 00:14:33,771
But it's nothing
compared to this.
352
00:14:33,772 --> 00:14:36,775
Hm.
Get ready.
353
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:54,626
My, oh, my, oh, my.
354
00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:55,960
It's pornography.
355
00:14:55,961 --> 00:15:00,932
Not only that, Mary,
no one has any clothes on.
356
00:15:00,933 --> 00:15:05,904
Well, Burt is very, uh...
357
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:08,307
handsome.
358
00:15:15,781 --> 00:15:17,715
How could he do this, Jess?
359
00:15:17,716 --> 00:15:21,219
I don't know, I never could.
360
00:15:24,623 --> 00:15:26,124
Well, I couldn't, could you?
361
00:15:26,125 --> 00:15:28,626
Could I what?
362
00:15:28,627 --> 00:15:31,129
Well, you know,
in a group of people...
363
00:15:31,130 --> 00:15:33,131
I mean, I'd be too embarrassed.
364
00:15:33,132 --> 00:15:35,633
I have trouble getting up
to play charades.
365
00:15:35,634 --> 00:15:38,136
Do you ever get embarrassed?
366
00:15:38,137 --> 00:15:39,637
Oh, well, no.
Not embarrassed.
367
00:15:39,638 --> 00:15:43,141
I worry sometimes
that I look a little silly.
368
00:15:43,142 --> 00:15:46,144
I know, like when you lean over
and your face falls.
369
00:15:46,145 --> 00:15:48,579
Falls?
370
00:15:48,580 --> 00:15:49,580
Oh, sure!
371
00:15:49,581 --> 00:15:51,582
That's why I make sure
I am never in a position
372
00:15:51,583 --> 00:15:55,086
where I am leaning over someone,
if you know what I mean.
373
00:15:55,087 --> 00:15:57,055
Your face falls?
374
00:15:57,056 --> 00:16:01,060
Sure, look.
Look at this.
375
00:16:03,062 --> 00:16:05,063
Oh, God, Jess!
376
00:16:05,064 --> 00:16:08,066
You look awful.
377
00:16:08,067 --> 00:16:09,567
Is that how I look?
378
00:16:09,568 --> 00:16:11,069
Well, you wouldn't
have the red hair,
379
00:16:11,070 --> 00:16:13,004
but you'd look awful.
380
00:16:13,005 --> 00:16:14,505
I had no idea.
381
00:16:14,506 --> 00:16:17,508
You see, then if you
lean back this way,
382
00:16:17,509 --> 00:16:20,511
everything falls nicely back.
383
00:16:20,512 --> 00:16:23,514
You look 10 years younger.
384
00:16:23,515 --> 00:16:25,516
I see.
385
00:16:25,517 --> 00:16:27,018
I just wish that
they had come up
386
00:16:27,019 --> 00:16:31,522
with a more dignified way
to do the entire thing.
387
00:16:31,523 --> 00:16:35,026
I could never be in a group,
I'm too competitive.
388
00:16:38,030 --> 00:16:41,532
Look at that woman,
she's gorgeous. Mm.
389
00:16:41,533 --> 00:16:44,035
I mean, I am sorry
she lives on this planet.
390
00:16:44,036 --> 00:16:46,537
Ha, ha, ha.
She is beautiful.
391
00:16:46,538 --> 00:16:49,474
Of course,
I don't think they're real.
392
00:16:49,475 --> 00:16:52,410
They're not?
393
00:16:52,411 --> 00:16:55,913
In that position?
Please.
394
00:16:55,914 --> 00:16:58,416
Nothing stands up like that,
except the Himalayas.
395
00:16:58,417 --> 00:17:02,420
But, Mary, if they're not real,
what are they?
396
00:17:02,421 --> 00:17:03,921
Silicone.
397
00:17:03,922 --> 00:17:06,924
Silicone?
398
00:17:06,925 --> 00:17:09,927
Isn't that what my frying pans
are made of?
399
00:17:09,928 --> 00:17:12,830
That's Teflon.
400
00:17:12,831 --> 00:17:14,332
Oh!
401
00:17:14,333 --> 00:17:17,835
Oh, Jess, what am I going to do?
402
00:17:17,836 --> 00:17:19,837
Talk to him, Mary.
403
00:17:19,838 --> 00:17:23,341
I'm sure that there's
some explanation for this.
404
00:17:23,342 --> 00:17:25,843
What possible explanation
could there be?
405
00:17:25,844 --> 00:17:29,847
Maybe Burt was trying
to separate them.
406
00:17:29,848 --> 00:17:32,350
Jessica, where are his clothes?
407
00:17:32,351 --> 00:17:34,352
Maybe it was a nudist colony.
408
00:17:34,353 --> 00:17:38,356
Perhaps Burt had to break up
a fight in a nudist colony.
409
00:17:38,357 --> 00:17:40,358
Jessica, he's smiling.
410
00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:42,360
Of course he is, Mary.
411
00:17:42,361 --> 00:17:45,863
He's having his picture taken.
412
00:17:45,864 --> 00:17:47,698
I'm going to kill him.
413
00:17:47,699 --> 00:17:49,200
Oh, Mary!
414
00:17:49,201 --> 00:17:50,701
I'm going to leave him.
415
00:17:50,702 --> 00:17:52,703
I'm going to divorce him,
and I'm going to kill him.
416
00:17:52,704 --> 00:17:54,705
Mary, talk to him.
417
00:17:54,706 --> 00:17:57,208
I'm sure there must be
some reason for this.
418
00:17:57,209 --> 00:17:58,709
You just talk to him,
419
00:17:58,710 --> 00:18:00,211
then if you don't
like his answers,
420
00:18:00,212 --> 00:18:01,712
then you can kill him.
421
00:18:27,606 --> 00:18:30,541
Oh! Chester,
this is my bedroom.
422
00:18:30,542 --> 00:18:33,511
Yes, and it hasn't been the same
without you, Jess.
423
00:18:33,512 --> 00:18:34,512
Hm.
424
00:18:34,513 --> 00:18:35,513
Oh...
425
00:18:35,514 --> 00:18:38,015
So good to have you
back home again.
426
00:18:38,016 --> 00:18:39,517
Thank you very much, Chester.
427
00:18:39,518 --> 00:18:42,019
Now, will you kindly
put your shoes back on?
428
00:18:42,020 --> 00:18:43,488
They'll get the sheets dirty,
Jess.
429
00:18:43,489 --> 00:18:47,492
You are not going
to sleep in those sheets.
430
00:18:47,493 --> 00:18:49,494
I threw you out, remember?
431
00:18:49,495 --> 00:18:50,495
Oh, Jess!
432
00:18:50,496 --> 00:18:51,996
You didn't mean that, did you?
433
00:18:51,997 --> 00:18:52,997
I did.
434
00:18:52,998 --> 00:18:55,000
Jess, you can't throw me out.
435
00:18:56,502 --> 00:18:58,503
Oh, no?
436
00:18:58,504 --> 00:19:00,505
Wait a minute.
437
00:19:00,506 --> 00:19:02,006
Let me understand this.
438
00:19:02,007 --> 00:19:05,009
What you're saying is,
we're finished.
439
00:19:05,010 --> 00:19:07,011
That's right, Chester.
440
00:19:07,012 --> 00:19:12,016
Oh, no!
441
00:19:12,017 --> 00:19:14,519
Chester.
442
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:16,521
I'm fine.
I'm strong.
443
00:19:16,522 --> 00:19:20,024
I can take this.
444
00:19:20,025 --> 00:19:22,026
So let me get this straight.
445
00:19:22,027 --> 00:19:24,862
What you are in essence saying
446
00:19:24,863 --> 00:19:27,798
is that it's over, is that it?
447
00:19:27,799 --> 00:19:28,799
That's it, Chester.
448
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:33,804
What am I gonna do?
Where am I gonna go?
449
00:19:33,805 --> 00:19:37,808
Where? Where?
Oh, God, where?
450
00:19:37,809 --> 00:19:39,810
Chester, Chester.
451
00:19:39,811 --> 00:19:43,815
I'm fine. I'm okay.
I'm an ox.
452
00:19:45,784 --> 00:19:47,285
I'm fine.
453
00:19:47,286 --> 00:19:50,788
Don't worry. I'm leaving.
I'll be okay.
454
00:19:50,789 --> 00:19:52,790
Oh, help me, help me!
455
00:19:52,791 --> 00:19:57,295
God, please don't leave me.
456
00:19:57,296 --> 00:19:59,797
Now, just calm yourself down,
Chester.
457
00:19:59,798 --> 00:20:02,800
Calm. Calm.
Yes, I'm calm.
458
00:20:02,801 --> 00:20:05,803
Look. A calm person.
459
00:20:05,804 --> 00:20:08,306
Now, Chester, I have
thought about this
460
00:20:08,307 --> 00:20:13,311
and I want to make this
as easy on you as possible.
461
00:20:13,312 --> 00:20:15,313
Therefore, until you have gotten
462
00:20:15,314 --> 00:20:17,815
entirely on your feet,
463
00:20:17,816 --> 00:20:19,817
I have decided
to let you stay...
464
00:20:19,818 --> 00:20:22,820
Thank you! Thank you!
Thank you! Thank you!
465
00:20:22,821 --> 00:20:25,323
Chester.
466
00:20:25,324 --> 00:20:27,191
Yes.
467
00:20:27,192 --> 00:20:31,462
Chester, I'm prepared to let you
stay in the pool house.
468
00:20:31,463 --> 00:20:32,964
The pool...?
469
00:20:32,965 --> 00:20:34,966
The pool house?
470
00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:36,968
The pool house.
471
00:20:36,969 --> 00:20:38,970
Jess, the pool house
has a concrete floor.
472
00:20:38,971 --> 00:20:40,972
Well, it needs
a little fixing up,
473
00:20:40,973 --> 00:20:42,473
but it could be quite cozy.
474
00:20:42,474 --> 00:20:46,911
Jess, that's where guests change
to use the pool.
475
00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:48,913
Well, we don't have
all that many guests,
476
00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:52,416
and when we do,
that might be fun for you.
477
00:20:52,417 --> 00:20:53,918
Oh, psh.
478
00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:56,420
Anyway, Chester,
I know how proud you are,
479
00:20:56,421 --> 00:20:58,923
and I know that you would
never accept charity,
480
00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:00,926
so I've decided
to let you pay rent.
481
00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:05,930
Rent?
482
00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:08,432
Well, of course, if you don't
want to pay rent,
483
00:21:08,433 --> 00:21:10,868
or if you can't pay rent,
484
00:21:10,869 --> 00:21:13,838
you can work it off
by cleaning the pool
485
00:21:13,839 --> 00:21:15,339
or doing a little gardening.
486
00:21:15,340 --> 00:21:17,842
Gardening?
487
00:21:17,843 --> 00:21:19,343
Uh-huh.
488
00:21:19,344 --> 00:21:23,814
You mean digging?
In dirt?
489
00:21:23,815 --> 00:21:25,316
Dirt digging?
490
00:21:25,317 --> 00:21:28,819
That's it.
491
00:21:28,820 --> 00:21:30,755
You really mean this,
don't you, Jess?
492
00:21:30,756 --> 00:21:33,524
Yes, Chester.
493
00:21:33,525 --> 00:21:36,027
Very well, Jess.
494
00:21:41,533 --> 00:21:43,534
I hate sleeping alone.
495
00:21:43,535 --> 00:21:47,538
I'm scared to sleep alone.
496
00:21:47,539 --> 00:21:50,041
I don't wanna be alone.
497
00:21:50,042 --> 00:21:51,542
Chester.
498
00:21:51,543 --> 00:21:53,544
Right, right.
499
00:21:53,545 --> 00:21:55,046
I'm fine.
500
00:21:55,047 --> 00:21:57,048
I'm fine.
501
00:21:57,049 --> 00:21:59,550
I'll get my things tomorrow.
502
00:21:59,551 --> 00:22:01,052
I'm fine.
503
00:22:03,555 --> 00:22:06,024
Things will never
be the same, will they?
504
00:22:07,526 --> 00:22:09,894
No...
505
00:22:09,895 --> 00:22:12,163
dear Chester, they won't.
506
00:22:14,199 --> 00:22:16,200
Want to sleep over?
507
00:22:16,201 --> 00:22:17,201
Chester.
508
00:22:17,202 --> 00:22:18,202
Sure?
509
00:22:18,203 --> 00:22:19,204
Chester.
510
00:22:21,707 --> 00:22:24,709
Goodnight.
511
00:22:31,750 --> 00:22:34,752
Since Jessica has
exiled Chester to the pool house,
512
00:22:34,753 --> 00:22:36,253
will he go crazy with grief,
513
00:22:36,254 --> 00:22:37,755
or buy a nice pairof swim trunks?
514
00:22:37,756 --> 00:22:39,757
Will Leslietry to kill Billy again,
515
00:22:39,758 --> 00:22:42,259
or will Saunders stop herby killing her first?
516
00:22:42,260 --> 00:22:44,762
Now that Mary has receivedthe porno pictures of Burt
517
00:22:44,763 --> 00:22:47,164
with six naked ladies,what will she do?
518
00:22:47,165 --> 00:22:48,165
Frame them?
519
00:22:48,166 --> 00:22:49,166
And what will Jodie do
520
00:22:49,167 --> 00:22:51,168
now that he knowsthe law can't help him
521
00:22:51,169 --> 00:22:52,636
find his kidnapped baby?
522
00:22:52,637 --> 00:22:54,572
These questions and many otherswill be answered
523
00:22:54,573 --> 00:22:58,910
in the next episode of Soap.
524
00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:03,510
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