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1
00:00:07,140 --> 00:00:08,140
What's that?
2
00:00:08,208 --> 00:00:10,075
Dead guy.
3
00:00:10,143 --> 00:00:12,378
Nancy, this is
an eating establishment.
4
00:00:12,445 --> 00:00:13,579
Are you crazy?
5
00:00:13,646 --> 00:00:16,248
You can't tie up
a whole table for four.
6
00:00:17,617 --> 00:00:18,984
He doesn't look
very realistic.
7
00:00:19,052 --> 00:00:23,555
Next year
i'm springing for a real dead guy.
8
00:00:23,623 --> 00:00:26,892
Well, he looks
pretty good to me, Roseanne.
9
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:29,261
He looks like
he died in his sleep.
10
00:00:29,329 --> 00:00:30,763
Give me that knife.
11
00:00:41,207 --> 00:00:42,775
Yes, here at
the lunch box,
12
00:00:42,842 --> 00:00:46,111
The customer
is always right.
13
00:00:46,179 --> 00:00:48,714
Hey, wait.
You're not Leon.
14
00:00:50,784 --> 00:00:51,884
Well...
15
00:00:51,951 --> 00:00:55,320
Spiders,
blood, corpses.
16
00:00:55,388 --> 00:00:58,490
You know, charmed
as I am by all your accoutrement,
17
00:00:58,558 --> 00:01:03,162
I still feel
the need to remove the fake vomit.
18
00:01:03,229 --> 00:01:05,197
Oh, it's wet.
19
00:01:05,265 --> 00:01:07,800
Well, that plastic stuff
never fools anybody.
20
00:01:07,867 --> 00:01:09,234
You mean this is--
21
00:01:09,302 --> 00:01:12,638
No. We just
doctored up some of the loose meat.
22
00:01:12,706 --> 00:01:15,507
What did you do
to it to make it look like that?
23
00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:16,442
Surprisingly little.
24
00:01:18,345 --> 00:01:21,680
Have you decided
what you're wearing to dan's lodge party?
25
00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:24,016
Well, we were thinkin'
that you and me and Dan and Roseanne
26
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,751
Would go as
the cleaver family.
27
00:01:25,819 --> 00:01:27,019
Oh, yeah, look at this.
28
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:28,821
I'm beaver cleaver.
29
00:01:30,056 --> 00:01:32,291
And Dan gets to be
June cleaver,
30
00:01:32,359 --> 00:01:34,126
And you can be ward,
and I get to be wally.
31
00:01:34,194 --> 00:01:35,227
I don't know, you guys.
32
00:01:35,295 --> 00:01:36,995
I kinda already had
something else in mind.
33
00:01:37,063 --> 00:01:39,098
Oh, my god, you're not
going to shave your head
34
00:01:39,165 --> 00:01:42,801
And go as that
stop-the-insanity woman again, are you?
35
00:01:42,869 --> 00:01:45,004
No, but I don't think
I should
36
00:01:45,071 --> 00:01:46,438
Spend the whole evening
with you guys.
37
00:01:46,506 --> 00:01:48,741
I don't think Dan
would have a good time.
38
00:01:48,808 --> 00:01:49,908
What are you
talking about?
39
00:01:49,976 --> 00:01:54,113
I don't think Dan
likes me very much.
40
00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:56,448
Well, of course
he does.
41
00:01:56,516 --> 00:01:58,851
Look, i'm very sensitive
to these things.
42
00:02:10,597 --> 00:02:14,133
When I tell Dan
that you said that,
43
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:15,200
He is going to
come over here
44
00:02:15,268 --> 00:02:16,735
And set
everything straight.
45
00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:18,103
He's going to
hug you so hard
46
00:02:18,171 --> 00:02:21,473
That you're going
to be leaking silicone for days.
47
00:02:23,076 --> 00:02:24,977
Then you think
he really does like me?
48
00:02:25,045 --> 00:02:27,813
Yes, already.
Everybody likes you.
49
00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:30,149
God,
you're so annoying.
50
00:02:30,216 --> 00:02:32,418
[telephone rings]
51
00:02:35,388 --> 00:02:36,822
Lunch box.
52
00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:38,657
Oh. Hi, Darlene.
53
00:02:38,725 --> 00:02:42,661
Hey, if this is about
you not coming home for Halloween,
54
00:02:42,729 --> 00:02:44,697
You better have
a damn good excuse.
55
00:02:44,764 --> 00:02:46,298
Well, I was
in a horrible accident,
56
00:02:46,366 --> 00:02:47,833
And i'm just a head.
57
00:02:52,739 --> 00:02:55,341
And?
58
00:02:55,408 --> 00:02:56,508
Something came up.
59
00:02:56,576 --> 00:02:59,411
There's this
Halloween party here,
60
00:02:59,479 --> 00:03:02,881
And the thing is
this guy asked me to go with him,
61
00:03:02,949 --> 00:03:04,550
And i'm thinking
about going.
62
00:03:04,617 --> 00:03:07,186
This isn't like a date
or nothin' is it?
63
00:03:07,253 --> 00:03:08,520
No, it's
no big deal.
64
00:03:08,588 --> 00:03:10,289
Just please
don't tell David.
65
00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:12,358
Well, gee, I don't know.
66
00:03:12,425 --> 00:03:15,861
Come on. It'll be like
our little secret, ok?
67
00:03:15,929 --> 00:03:18,464
Ok, fine,
i'll do this for you,
68
00:03:18,531 --> 00:03:20,366
But you remember us
when i'm about 80
69
00:03:20,433 --> 00:03:23,202
And I need help getting
your dad into his truss.
70
00:03:24,437 --> 00:03:26,939
Hey, mom, thanks
for being there.
71
00:03:27,007 --> 00:03:29,208
Yeah, well,
it was my shift.
72
00:03:29,275 --> 00:03:31,110
Ok, bye.
73
00:03:31,177 --> 00:03:32,945
Bye.
74
00:03:34,114 --> 00:03:35,881
I cannot believe
what Darlene just told me.
75
00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:37,883
She's cheating
on David.
76
00:03:37,951 --> 00:03:39,118
I never thought
this would happen.
77
00:03:39,185 --> 00:03:43,055
We're like girlfriends.
78
00:03:43,123 --> 00:03:46,058
Well, at least
the waiting is over,
79
00:03:46,126 --> 00:03:49,094
And I survived
my annual Roseanne prank.
80
00:03:49,162 --> 00:03:51,196
Can you imagine
the shock
81
00:03:51,264 --> 00:03:53,899
When I sat down at my desk,
only to discover--
82
00:03:53,967 --> 00:03:57,236
Ooh, oogie, boogie,
woogie, boogie, boogie.
83
00:03:58,371 --> 00:03:59,738
[scoffs]
frankly, Roseanne,
84
00:03:59,806 --> 00:04:01,073
I'm disappointed.
85
00:04:58,298 --> 00:04:59,832
What's that?
86
00:04:59,899 --> 00:05:02,301
Ah, that's my pranks,
dirty tricks,
87
00:05:02,369 --> 00:05:03,902
And flat-out mean stuff
88
00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:07,439
I plan to do
to my loved ones list.
89
00:05:07,507 --> 00:05:11,543
Let's see--David,
David, David. Aha.
90
00:05:11,611 --> 00:05:14,646
Well, you may want
to wear a helmet to bed.
91
00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:18,183
Have you figured out
what your costume's gonna be
92
00:05:18,251 --> 00:05:19,651
For the lodge party?
93
00:05:19,719 --> 00:05:20,819
I'm not going.
94
00:05:20,887 --> 00:05:22,321
I mean, if Darlene
were gonna be here,
95
00:05:22,389 --> 00:05:23,655
I'd give it a try
96
00:05:23,723 --> 00:05:25,057
But she called and
said that she has to
97
00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:26,925
Study for a test
on Halloween night.
98
00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:30,095
Well, yeah. Well, you know,
that's school for you.
99
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:33,165
It's either a test
or something else.
100
00:05:34,968 --> 00:05:36,268
So i'm not
gonna do anything.
101
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,903
Oh, but, David,
102
00:05:37,971 --> 00:05:40,506
You can't
not do anything. This is Halloween.
103
00:05:40,573 --> 00:05:41,674
It's the
one night a year
104
00:05:41,741 --> 00:05:43,375
Where you're supposed
to break all the rules.
105
00:05:43,443 --> 00:05:45,010
And you're a conner now.
106
00:05:45,078 --> 00:05:46,912
I just cannot allow you
to sit here at home
107
00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:49,181
And be good and nice
and well-behaved.
108
00:05:49,249 --> 00:05:51,216
People will
begin to talk.
109
00:05:51,284 --> 00:05:52,351
[door slams]
110
00:05:52,419 --> 00:05:53,852
Hi, honey.
I'm home.
111
00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:55,754
Grr.
112
00:05:55,822 --> 00:05:57,523
Ow!
113
00:05:57,590 --> 00:05:59,558
I told you to get
salted crackers.
114
00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:01,193
David:
i'll be outside.
115
00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:04,063
Ow!
116
00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:07,800
Well, what have
we here, my pet,
117
00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:09,468
Your little
prank list?
118
00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:11,337
Yes, but you
shall never see it.
119
00:06:11,404 --> 00:06:13,639
I'm putting it
in the vault.
120
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,207
I'm coming in
after it.
121
00:06:17,844 --> 00:06:19,044
Ha ha ho.
122
00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:20,546
Gimme, gimme!
123
00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:25,150
Dan?
124
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:27,052
Yes?
125
00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:29,621
You should have been
at the diner today.
126
00:06:29,689 --> 00:06:31,090
The weirdest thing
happened.
127
00:06:31,157 --> 00:06:32,524
Like, right out
of the blue,
128
00:06:32,592 --> 00:06:34,093
Nancy comes up with
this thing where
129
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:35,928
She thinks that
you don't like her.
130
00:06:43,636 --> 00:06:45,337
You do so!
131
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:46,505
I'm sorry, Roseanne.
132
00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:47,539
She's the most
superficial person
133
00:06:47,607 --> 00:06:48,807
I've ever met.
134
00:06:48,875 --> 00:06:50,843
But that's
just her facade.
135
00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:52,678
She's rude and selfish.
136
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:56,715
I know, but inside
she's just a scared little girl.
137
00:06:56,783 --> 00:06:58,884
And I know
who's scaring her--
138
00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:01,253
A raging bitch
on the outside.
139
00:07:02,722 --> 00:07:04,590
That is no fair,
Dan.
140
00:07:04,657 --> 00:07:07,593
You know all your dumb,
stupid, idiot friends that I hate?
141
00:07:07,660 --> 00:07:08,927
I like them.
142
00:07:10,296 --> 00:07:12,765
Hey, Roseanne,
I pretend to like Nancy.
143
00:07:12,832 --> 00:07:13,766
Well, then
you suck at it,
144
00:07:13,833 --> 00:07:15,167
'cause she's
onto you.
145
00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:18,270
Nancy's aware
of other people?
146
00:07:18,338 --> 00:07:20,272
You're gonna go
in there tomorrow, Dan,
147
00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:22,241
And you're gonna
tell her that you like her,
148
00:07:22,308 --> 00:07:24,943
And then you're
gonna give her a great big old hug.
149
00:07:25,011 --> 00:07:26,045
Well, then,
150
00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:27,046
I'd just have
to come home
151
00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:28,781
And peel off
all my skin.
152
00:07:30,684 --> 00:07:32,451
I'm serious, Dan.
You've got to do it.
153
00:07:32,519 --> 00:07:34,186
Or else it's gonna be
two hugs
154
00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:36,121
And a nice little poem.
155
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:37,723
Roseanne,
i'm not gonna tell her I like her
156
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:39,091
Because
I don't like her.
157
00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:40,392
Well, I know,
158
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:41,927
But that's why
you have to go down there
159
00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:43,462
And tell her
that you like her.
160
00:07:43,530 --> 00:07:45,464
You never tell people
that you like that you like them.
161
00:07:45,532 --> 00:07:46,965
The only people
that you ever tell that you like
162
00:07:47,033 --> 00:07:49,134
Are the people
you actually don't like.
163
00:07:52,372 --> 00:07:53,872
Ok, i'll do it.
164
00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:56,008
Really?
165
00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:57,976
Course not.
166
00:07:58,044 --> 00:07:59,511
The only things
you have to say you're gonna do
167
00:07:59,579 --> 00:08:01,480
Are things you
have no intention of doing.
168
00:08:10,890 --> 00:08:14,793
So, uh, Dan said that
all Nancy ever talks about
169
00:08:14,861 --> 00:08:16,161
Is herself.
170
00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:17,863
Well, Roseanne,
it is kind of true.
171
00:08:17,931 --> 00:08:18,997
No, it isn't.
172
00:08:19,065 --> 00:08:20,332
What else
does she talk about?
173
00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:22,334
I don't know.
I never listen to her.
174
00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:27,773
I just saw
the saddest thing.
175
00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:29,108
Oh, what is it,
Nance?
176
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:30,709
See that old lady
over there?
177
00:08:30,777 --> 00:08:33,345
The bent gray one?
178
00:08:33,413 --> 00:08:34,346
I see her.
179
00:08:34,414 --> 00:08:37,716
I have that same dress.
180
00:08:40,420 --> 00:08:42,688
What was I thinking?
181
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:46,425
I hate it
when dan's right.
182
00:08:47,927 --> 00:08:49,495
So what did Dan think
about all of us
183
00:08:49,562 --> 00:08:51,163
Going as the cleaver
family?
184
00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:53,032
Oh, he thought
it was really cool.
185
00:08:53,099 --> 00:08:55,000
And he thought of a way
to make it funnier, too.
186
00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:58,737
It seems as though June,
ok, is so mangled
187
00:08:58,805 --> 00:09:01,306
That it's take ward,
wally, and the beaver
188
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:04,076
To carry what's
left of her around in a mason jar.
189
00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:07,546
Wait a minute.
If Dan is going as June,
190
00:09:07,614 --> 00:09:09,381
That means he's not
part of the group.
191
00:09:09,449 --> 00:09:11,383
I was right.
He hates me.
192
00:09:12,485 --> 00:09:14,286
No, that's
not true, Nance.
193
00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:15,988
No, he likes you,
Nancy.
194
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,489
It's just,
you know,
195
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:20,492
He's not that
comfortable in high heels.
196
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,928
Look, if the two of you
can't be honest with me about it,
197
00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:25,798
Maybe you don't
like me, either.
198
00:09:25,865 --> 00:09:29,001
No, we like you,
Nancy.
199
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:30,069
I mean, maybe
not right now,
200
00:09:30,136 --> 00:09:31,603
But, you know,
other times.
201
00:09:31,671 --> 00:09:32,705
Well, if you hate me
so much,
202
00:09:32,772 --> 00:09:34,573
Maybe I shouldn't
work here anymore.
203
00:09:34,641 --> 00:09:35,941
Leon's been wanting
to buy my share.
204
00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:37,276
Maybe I should just sell.
205
00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:43,248
Gotcha.
206
00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:45,417
Ah...Ha ha ha.
207
00:09:45,485 --> 00:09:48,754
The whole thing's
a prank me and sis here worked up
208
00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:52,257
To make you think
that us and Dan don't like you.
209
00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:53,525
Ha ha ha ha.
210
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:56,862
Boo!
211
00:09:59,699 --> 00:10:01,033
So Dan does like me,
212
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:02,668
And he's going to
come here and hug me?
213
00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:05,571
Oh, well...I mean
he--he wants to,
214
00:10:05,638 --> 00:10:07,940
But i'm just too
jealous to let him, you know.
215
00:10:08,008 --> 00:10:09,608
So, instead he's
going to pull,
216
00:10:09,676 --> 00:10:11,977
Like, this great
all-time prank on you.
217
00:10:12,045 --> 00:10:13,846
On me, really?
Oh, oh, yeah.
218
00:10:13,913 --> 00:10:15,114
Huge. It'll be huge.
219
00:10:15,181 --> 00:10:16,815
Really embarrassing,
too. Feel better?
220
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:21,286
I am so touched,
I could cry.
221
00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:22,454
Back in a sec.
222
00:10:22,522 --> 00:10:25,457
I love to watch
myself cry.
223
00:10:26,526 --> 00:10:28,460
Is Dan playing
a trick on Nancy?
224
00:10:28,528 --> 00:10:30,662
He is now.
225
00:10:30,730 --> 00:10:33,298
Hi, Mrs. Conner.
Hi, Jackie.
226
00:10:33,366 --> 00:10:34,600
Hi, guys.
227
00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:38,303
Who's the skirt
with David?
228
00:10:38,371 --> 00:10:40,139
Huh, nice rack.
229
00:10:44,210 --> 00:10:45,978
Hello, David.
230
00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:47,713
Hello, david's
little friend.
231
00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:48,981
This is sally knopp.
232
00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:50,482
She's on the Halloween
dance committee,
233
00:10:50,550 --> 00:10:52,818
And she asked me
to draw some posters.
234
00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:54,486
So we came here...
235
00:10:54,554 --> 00:10:56,488
Where you are...To work.
236
00:10:56,556 --> 00:10:57,656
'cause, uh...
237
00:10:57,724 --> 00:10:59,324
'cause that's
what we're doing...
238
00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:00,359
Workin'.
239
00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:04,329
I knew you'd be here.
240
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:08,334
Can we get
some pop, please?
241
00:11:12,972 --> 00:11:15,007
Well, he says
that they're working.
242
00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:16,675
Oh, yeah. Right.
243
00:11:16,743 --> 00:11:18,677
Well, you've gotta
feel really guilty.
244
00:11:18,745 --> 00:11:19,678
You're the one
that told David
245
00:11:19,746 --> 00:11:21,080
To do something
for Halloween.
246
00:11:21,147 --> 00:11:22,448
I didn't know he was
going to do her.
247
00:11:24,417 --> 00:11:25,951
Well, what did
you think he was gonna do?
248
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:27,086
I don't know.
249
00:11:27,153 --> 00:11:28,253
I just didn't think
it was fair, you know,
250
00:11:28,321 --> 00:11:29,521
Him sittin' there
all alone.
251
00:11:29,589 --> 00:11:30,856
I want him
to have some fun.
252
00:11:30,924 --> 00:11:32,524
Darlene's goin' out
with some other guy.
253
00:11:32,592 --> 00:11:33,926
How the hell
was I supposed to know
254
00:11:33,993 --> 00:11:37,329
He could get a date
with a normal girl?
255
00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:39,698
You should have
seen me.
256
00:11:39,766 --> 00:11:41,867
I looked so sad.
257
00:11:43,269 --> 00:11:45,204
I'm so excited
about Dan's prank.
258
00:11:45,271 --> 00:11:48,240
I can't wait to see
how I look surprised.
259
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:51,877
[telephone rings]
260
00:11:51,945 --> 00:11:53,879
David, here's your drink.
261
00:11:53,947 --> 00:11:55,514
Here, sally.
262
00:11:55,582 --> 00:11:56,548
[ring]
263
00:11:56,616 --> 00:11:57,883
Oh, sorry.
264
00:11:59,119 --> 00:12:00,219
Lunch box.
265
00:12:00,286 --> 00:12:01,387
Hey, mom.
266
00:12:01,521 --> 00:12:04,056
Oh, hi...Uh, caller.
267
00:12:08,128 --> 00:12:09,061
It's Darlene.
268
00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:10,729
Oh.
269
00:12:10,797 --> 00:12:12,564
Uh, listen, I just
made a decision about something.
270
00:12:12,632 --> 00:12:15,234
And I wanted
to talk to somebody who'd understand.
271
00:12:15,301 --> 00:12:16,869
When I thought
about goin' out
272
00:12:16,936 --> 00:12:18,470
With that other guy
it made me realize
273
00:12:18,538 --> 00:12:20,005
How much I love David.
274
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:23,342
I would just feel
too guilty dating anybody else.
275
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:26,745
Yeah, yeah, that guilt'll
really eat you up.
276
00:12:28,214 --> 00:12:29,548
You know, mom,
I think it's really cool
277
00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:31,517
The way we can talk
to each other now.
278
00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:33,252
Well, yeah, good.
279
00:12:33,319 --> 00:12:34,420
I hope you remember this,
280
00:12:34,487 --> 00:12:35,587
For, you know,
in case you ever
281
00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:38,657
Get, like, in a big
fight or anything.
282
00:12:38,725 --> 00:12:39,758
Do me a favor.
283
00:12:39,826 --> 00:12:42,027
Keep an eye on David.
284
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,462
Make sure he's happy.
285
00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:45,264
Yeah, happy.
286
00:12:45,331 --> 00:12:47,533
Ok, sure.
287
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,101
Will do.
288
00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:50,936
All right.
Talk to you later.
289
00:12:52,505 --> 00:12:53,472
Well?
290
00:12:53,540 --> 00:12:54,973
Well, Darlene says
291
00:12:55,041 --> 00:12:57,476
She's not gonna go out
with this other guy after all
292
00:12:57,544 --> 00:12:59,978
Because she just realized
how much she loved David.
293
00:13:00,046 --> 00:13:01,914
Oh, and now david's
with another girl.
294
00:13:01,981 --> 00:13:03,816
And you're the one
that pushed him into it.
295
00:13:03,883 --> 00:13:06,452
Man, i'd hate to be
in your shoes right now.
296
00:13:12,025 --> 00:13:13,559
You know,
I hope your baby
297
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:15,160
Doesn't grow
really long fingernails,
298
00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:17,329
'cause sometimes
they like to hang on on their way out.
299
00:13:27,707 --> 00:13:30,142
Well, you know, Dan,
i've been thinking,
300
00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:33,145
And I got way
too mad last night,
301
00:13:33,213 --> 00:13:35,647
And I was
really a pain.
302
00:13:35,715 --> 00:13:36,815
And i'm sorry,
303
00:13:36,883 --> 00:13:39,785
And blah,
blah, blah-- love, Roseanne.
304
00:13:39,853 --> 00:13:42,721
No way. Whatever you want,
I ain't doing it.
305
00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:45,791
Why, Dan, your suspicion
truly hurts me.
306
00:13:45,859 --> 00:13:48,594
After I was
so nice to you, too.
307
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:49,995
Gee, I wonder
what you can do
308
00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:51,163
To make it up to me.
309
00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:52,831
I know!
310
00:13:52,899 --> 00:13:55,467
You can play
a prank on Nancy.
311
00:13:55,535 --> 00:13:59,204
God beat me to it.
312
00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:01,507
Dan, if you don't
play a prank on Nancy
313
00:14:01,574 --> 00:14:03,142
To show her that
we all like her,
314
00:14:03,209 --> 00:14:05,744
She might sell her shares
of the restaurant to Leon,
315
00:14:05,812 --> 00:14:07,713
And then he would
be my boss again.
316
00:14:07,781 --> 00:14:10,349
And this affects me how?
317
00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:11,917
Maybe you forgot
what i'm like
318
00:14:11,985 --> 00:14:13,585
When I work for Leon.
319
00:14:14,721 --> 00:14:15,854
[whistles]
320
00:14:15,922 --> 00:14:18,190
Don't care for that.
321
00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:19,491
[giggling]
322
00:14:19,559 --> 00:14:21,694
What the hell
is that?
323
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:27,366
Hey!
324
00:14:27,434 --> 00:14:29,201
You think you would
at least ask
325
00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:31,203
Before you go
gettin' into my cheese puffs.
326
00:14:31,271 --> 00:14:32,871
Maybe they were
for dinner.
327
00:14:34,774 --> 00:14:36,542
Sorry. Do you
want me to go out and get some more?
328
00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:37,876
No. Don't bother.
329
00:14:37,944 --> 00:14:40,713
I'll just have
to make chicken now or something.
330
00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:42,748
You done
with your posters?
331
00:14:42,816 --> 00:14:44,883
Well, yeah,
but now we're working on costumes.
332
00:14:44,951 --> 00:14:46,885
See, we're going to
the Halloween dance together
333
00:14:46,953 --> 00:14:48,887
As Romeo and Juliet.
334
00:14:48,955 --> 00:14:50,689
Six months after
the suicide.
335
00:14:52,792 --> 00:14:53,892
Do you want
to stay for dinner?
336
00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:55,027
We're not
having dinner.
337
00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:58,197
I think i'm just
gonna go.
338
00:14:58,264 --> 00:14:59,331
Aww...
339
00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:01,700
Call me later?
340
00:15:01,835 --> 00:15:03,002
Yeah. Promise.
341
00:15:07,707 --> 00:15:09,241
Gee, do you like her?
342
00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:12,044
Gee, do you have to
cheat on my daughter
343
00:15:12,112 --> 00:15:16,382
Using my couch
and my cheese puffs as your wooing tools?
344
00:15:16,449 --> 00:15:18,417
I'm not cheating
on Darlene.
345
00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:19,752
Sally's a friend.
346
00:15:19,819 --> 00:15:20,753
You're the one
who's making me
347
00:15:20,820 --> 00:15:22,087
Go out on Halloween.
348
00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:23,122
Yeah, but I didn't
know you were
349
00:15:23,189 --> 00:15:24,923
Gonna go out
as a horny teenager.
350
00:15:24,991 --> 00:15:25,958
I'm telling Darlene.
351
00:15:26,026 --> 00:15:27,326
You can't.
352
00:15:27,394 --> 00:15:29,328
Yeah, hey, mothers
report back
353
00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:31,096
About cheating
boyfriends, David.
354
00:15:31,164 --> 00:15:32,431
It's in the bible.
355
00:15:32,499 --> 00:15:34,233
Try reading it.
356
00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:36,935
Come on, i'm just going
to the Halloween dance with her.
357
00:15:37,003 --> 00:15:38,871
Besides,
Darlene bailed on me.
358
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:42,675
Well,
she had that test.
359
00:15:42,742 --> 00:15:44,276
All right,
Mrs. Conner, fine.
360
00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:45,444
Go ahead and tell her.
361
00:15:45,512 --> 00:15:47,279
But if you do,
i'll know that you lied
362
00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:48,781
About me being
a part of the family
363
00:15:48,848 --> 00:15:50,916
'cause you'd never
screw over one of your own kids.
364
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:54,620
D.J., come here!
365
00:15:56,990 --> 00:15:57,923
Excuse me.
366
00:16:00,694 --> 00:16:03,429
D.J., you know
that girl in your class
367
00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:05,197
That you hate
and that you call the warthog?
368
00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:07,633
What did I
ask her to do?
369
00:16:07,701 --> 00:16:10,169
To kiss me.
370
00:16:10,236 --> 00:16:12,171
And did she kiss you?
371
00:16:12,238 --> 00:16:13,672
Yes.
372
00:16:13,740 --> 00:16:17,676
And did I have
any reason at all for doing so?
373
00:16:17,744 --> 00:16:19,144
No.
374
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:22,448
You can go play.
375
00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:25,951
So, you were saying?
376
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:34,493
[banging]
377
00:16:35,829 --> 00:16:38,230
Does this bother you?
378
00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:39,832
Yeah.
379
00:16:39,899 --> 00:16:43,268
Good! How's this?
380
00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:45,170
It's ok,
but it's not...
381
00:16:45,238 --> 00:16:47,339
Nearly as good
as the sound I can make
382
00:16:47,407 --> 00:16:50,142
With this pan
and a kid's head.
383
00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:51,377
Aah!
384
00:16:51,444 --> 00:16:53,145
Aah! Aah!
385
00:16:55,081 --> 00:16:57,583
Hey, hey, did you
do that for Halloween,
386
00:16:57,650 --> 00:16:59,351
'cause it looks
pretty good.
387
00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:02,187
Do what?
388
00:17:04,424 --> 00:17:06,692
Wear them glasses.
389
00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:08,260
Cut the crap, lady.
390
00:17:10,096 --> 00:17:12,865
All right, everybody
do as I say and you won't get hurt.
391
00:17:12,932 --> 00:17:15,167
Put your hands
on your head.
392
00:17:15,235 --> 00:17:18,037
Ohh. The great big robber
gonna scare me
393
00:17:18,104 --> 00:17:20,706
With his itty-bitty gun.
394
00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:24,510
I said put your hands
on your head, lady.
395
00:17:24,577 --> 00:17:27,379
I know, but you didn't
say "baldy says" first.
396
00:17:28,848 --> 00:17:30,349
I'm serious!
397
00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:32,351
And stop looking
at my face.
398
00:17:32,419 --> 00:17:33,719
i'm looking,
i'm looking
399
00:17:33,787 --> 00:17:36,321
i'm memorizing
everything
400
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:38,424
Roseanne!
What are you doing?
401
00:17:38,491 --> 00:17:39,591
Isn't it obvious?
402
00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:41,060
I'm getting a prank
pulled on me.
403
00:17:41,127 --> 00:17:44,363
I'm being robbed
by daddy warbucks.
404
00:17:44,431 --> 00:17:47,066
Shut up! Everyone,
give me your money and jewelry,
405
00:17:47,133 --> 00:17:49,034
And you,
open the register.
406
00:17:49,102 --> 00:17:50,803
Ok, but there's not
a lot of money in there,
407
00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:52,204
So I guess i'll
have to give you
408
00:17:52,272 --> 00:17:53,872
The keys to my house, too.
409
00:17:53,940 --> 00:17:56,575
You know,
it's 714 Delaware Street.
410
00:17:56,643 --> 00:17:58,177
Lady, this guy's serious.
411
00:17:58,244 --> 00:18:00,713
Oh, well, then
i'd better give him my wedding ring, too.
412
00:18:06,820 --> 00:18:09,955
Roseanne, that really
wasn't a prank!
413
00:18:10,023 --> 00:18:12,658
Oh, please.
It reeks of Dan.
414
00:18:12,726 --> 00:18:13,759
Wrong!
415
00:18:13,827 --> 00:18:16,428
That's dan's prank.
Show her, sam.
416
00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:18,263
Is there really
any point in doing this now?
417
00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:19,264
I mean...
418
00:18:22,669 --> 00:18:23,936
I'm a little upset.
419
00:18:24,004 --> 00:18:25,337
Show her!
420
00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:27,606
Oh, no, my god...
421
00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:31,043
There's something wrong
with this meat.
422
00:18:31,111 --> 00:18:32,378
I'm gonna be sick.
423
00:18:36,349 --> 00:18:37,616
Ohh...
424
00:18:37,684 --> 00:18:38,617
Aah!
425
00:18:38,685 --> 00:18:40,119
Aah!
426
00:18:40,186 --> 00:18:41,587
Ah ha ha.
427
00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:44,256
Are you serious?
Why didn't you tell me?
428
00:18:44,324 --> 00:18:45,657
I did!
429
00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:48,627
I gave him
my wedding ring.
430
00:18:48,695 --> 00:18:49,628
Would you please
call the police,
431
00:18:49,696 --> 00:18:51,797
And i'll try to see
where he went.
432
00:18:51,865 --> 00:18:54,533
Ah ha ha ha!
433
00:18:54,601 --> 00:18:59,338
Ah ha ha ha.
434
00:18:59,406 --> 00:19:02,808
I knew it.
I told you I knew it.
435
00:19:02,876 --> 00:19:03,876
All along I knew it.
436
00:19:03,943 --> 00:19:05,477
Stupe-nagle.
437
00:19:05,545 --> 00:19:07,246
Not bad.
438
00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:09,014
Not bad?
It was great.
439
00:19:09,082 --> 00:19:11,517
Yawn.
440
00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:12,651
See you at work, Dan.
441
00:19:12,719 --> 00:19:15,120
I got a delivery to make.
Good one, Dan.
442
00:19:15,188 --> 00:19:17,423
Ha ha ha ha.
443
00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:19,158
Ha ha ha!
444
00:19:19,225 --> 00:19:20,325
Stupe-nagle?
445
00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:23,929
So...
446
00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:27,900
I hope you have
Nancy's prank all ready.
447
00:19:27,967 --> 00:19:29,168
Yeah, I do.
Yeah?
448
00:19:29,235 --> 00:19:30,436
And i'm keeping it
right here.
449
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:31,437
[whistles]
450
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:32,504
Heh heh heh heh!
451
00:19:32,572 --> 00:19:33,806
That ain't no prank.
452
00:19:33,873 --> 00:19:34,807
Well, it fooled you,
453
00:19:34,874 --> 00:19:37,176
So it's bound
to mystify her.
454
00:19:40,246 --> 00:19:42,514
That's all she's getting,
Roseanne.
455
00:19:42,582 --> 00:19:44,516
I ain't gonna waste
no killer prank on Nancy.
456
00:19:44,584 --> 00:19:46,352
She's not worth it.
I don't like her.
457
00:19:48,722 --> 00:19:50,522
Oh, man.
458
00:19:50,590 --> 00:19:53,192
Hey, Nancy, wait.
You don't understand.
459
00:19:53,259 --> 00:19:55,027
You know, Dan--
460
00:19:55,095 --> 00:19:57,796
Oh, my god!
461
00:19:57,864 --> 00:19:59,698
Ohh...
462
00:20:01,835 --> 00:20:04,703
Oh, I get it.
It's my prank.
463
00:20:07,273 --> 00:20:08,640
You should go
look at your face
464
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,042
And see how
surprised it looks.
465
00:20:10,110 --> 00:20:11,076
Go, go.
466
00:20:11,144 --> 00:20:12,711
Look, he's still going.
467
00:20:12,779 --> 00:20:14,880
You really do like me,
and I like you--
468
00:20:14,948 --> 00:20:16,615
Aah!
469
00:20:19,152 --> 00:20:22,654
Eww! I hope this
fake stuff washes off.
470
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:23,689
[whimpering]
471
00:20:23,757 --> 00:20:26,058
Ha. You're funny, Dan.
472
00:20:26,126 --> 00:20:27,559
Ha ha ha.
473
00:20:27,627 --> 00:20:29,561
Come on, i'll take you
to the emergency room.
474
00:20:36,136 --> 00:20:38,704
Man, i'm never going
to the hospital on Halloween again.
475
00:20:38,772 --> 00:20:40,339
Oh, come on, Dan,
476
00:20:40,407 --> 00:20:43,876
When else can you
get your nose set by a ninja turtle?
477
00:20:43,943 --> 00:20:46,845
You went too far
this time, Roseanne.
478
00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:47,946
You really embarrassed me.
479
00:20:48,014 --> 00:20:49,848
What's this?
480
00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:50,916
[gasps]
481
00:20:50,984 --> 00:20:54,086
David brought
that girl over here again?
482
00:20:54,154 --> 00:20:55,421
They're not
in the living room.
483
00:20:55,488 --> 00:20:56,922
They better not be
down in his room.
484
00:20:56,990 --> 00:20:58,090
Wait a minute--
oh, man.
485
00:20:58,158 --> 00:20:59,858
Don't go down there
all crazy and everything.
486
00:20:59,926 --> 00:21:01,427
Surprise!
487
00:21:01,494 --> 00:21:03,095
Darlene, you're home!
488
00:21:03,163 --> 00:21:04,963
Darlene, we didn't know
you were coming home.
489
00:21:05,031 --> 00:21:06,665
Why are you guys
acting so weird?
490
00:21:06,733 --> 00:21:09,802
Did I interrupt
some sort of creepy sex thing?
491
00:21:09,869 --> 00:21:13,005
Uh, yes.
Come back tomorrow.
492
00:21:13,073 --> 00:21:15,441
Well, I just
came to see David.
493
00:21:15,508 --> 00:21:16,542
Is he downstairs?
494
00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:18,444
Ohh! This is David.
495
00:21:18,511 --> 00:21:20,112
He's going
as your dad.
496
00:21:20,180 --> 00:21:22,448
He's just trying
to get the nose right.
497
00:21:24,384 --> 00:21:27,219
David's with
that Sally girl.
498
00:21:27,287 --> 00:21:28,454
What Sally girl?
499
00:21:28,521 --> 00:21:29,722
Uh, sally girl,
you know,
500
00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:31,790
That's one of those
a new kids' expression
501
00:21:31,858 --> 00:21:32,791
For a guy's friend.
502
00:21:32,859 --> 00:21:34,626
You know,
like homeboy.
503
00:21:34,694 --> 00:21:36,795
Yeah. Right now,
David's downstairs
504
00:21:36,863 --> 00:21:39,965
Hangin' with his
Sally girl Mike.
505
00:21:42,635 --> 00:21:44,269
No, he's not.
506
00:21:44,337 --> 00:21:45,938
Sally's his new girlfriend.
507
00:21:46,006 --> 00:21:48,207
They were kissing
on the couch for, like, a million hours,
508
00:21:48,274 --> 00:21:50,376
And then they went
downstairs.
509
00:21:50,443 --> 00:21:52,778
Don't move.
510
00:21:55,015 --> 00:21:56,648
All right, young man.
511
00:21:56,716 --> 00:21:59,685
Who taught you
to tell the truth?
512
00:21:59,753 --> 00:22:02,621
Sally: aah!
513
00:22:02,689 --> 00:22:04,356
Stop it!
You're hurting her!
514
00:22:04,424 --> 00:22:06,158
You whore!
Darlene!
515
00:22:06,226 --> 00:22:08,827
You tramp! You slut!
516
00:22:08,895 --> 00:22:13,465
Aah!
Aah! Aah!
517
00:22:13,533 --> 00:22:16,635
Happy Halloween.
518
00:22:16,703 --> 00:22:18,771
Sucker!
Sucker! Sucker!
519
00:22:21,408 --> 00:22:22,841
[everyone laughing]
520
00:22:22,909 --> 00:22:24,677
Shut up, all of you!
521
00:22:24,744 --> 00:22:25,744
You scared the hell
out of me.
522
00:22:25,812 --> 00:22:28,147
Pranks are supposed
to be funny.
523
00:22:28,214 --> 00:22:30,349
I'm sorry, Mrs. Conner.
It was my idea.
524
00:22:30,417 --> 00:22:32,351
I just wanted to be
part of the family.
525
00:22:34,754 --> 00:22:38,490
Oh, well,
then I guess i'm proud of you.
526
00:22:38,558 --> 00:22:39,758
Now, give me that head.
527
00:22:39,826 --> 00:22:41,860
Come on, we'll go
over to jackie's.
528
00:22:48,935 --> 00:22:51,537
[demonic laughter]
529
00:22:59,045 --> 00:23:00,713
oh, yeah
530
00:23:06,286 --> 00:23:08,887
[demonic laughter]
531
00:23:11,925 --> 00:23:13,392
oh, yeah
532
00:23:24,637 --> 00:23:29,174
[demonic laughter]
533
00:23:29,224 --> 00:23:33,774
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