All language subtitles for Grace and Frankie - 3x08 - The Alert.DSR.DEFLATE.en

Synced and corrected by
Dragoniod for - www.addic7ed.com -

♪ Well, I don't know
Why I came here tonight ♪

♪ Got the feelin' That
somethin' ain't right ♪

♪ I'm so scared In case I fall off my chair ♪

♪ And I'm wondering How
I'll get down the stairs ♪

♪ And there's clowns to the
left of me Jokers to the right ♪

♪ Here I am Stuck in the middle with you ♪

♪ Yes, I'm stuck in the middle with you ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

Grace, Grace, we're in Flapper!

Look at... We're the top
story on their website!

Look at the headline!

"They've Fallen But
They Can Still Get Off."

Oh, God. Why did you have to tell
her we were on the floor all day?

Because I took my back pill and
it makes me delightful and chatty.

- You know this, Grace.
- Ooh! Scroll down!

"After a few test-drives
with their new vibrator"

designed for those of
us of a certain age,

"I'm happy to report I
cannot wait to get older."

This is incredible! We have
to build on this momentum.

Look at our website.

If this is so good for our business,
why do we have only 18 visitors?

- And I'm 12 of them.
- Just be patient.

The article was just posted. We
know what a tough sell this is.

I know all about tough sells.

That's why my car kite never took off.

Is that a kite you fly out of your car?

Patent pending. Don't try to steal it.

I've been wanting to do
that since we remodeled.

Thank you.

Thank you.

There's that "happy
to satisfy and I'll be

"on my way" thing that I love.

Can we do the thing that I love?

Sure.

You're free to go.

Yeah, I think you're a little short.

I'm so sorry, there was a kid who was

selling candy bars
for his basketball team

and I wadded up a 20
and threw it at him.

- Do you want a giant Kit Kat?
- Yes.

And the $20.

Okay.

There's an ATM machine downstairs.
I will come down with you.

You can get me next time.

How's Wednesday?

I can't Wednesday. I have
a standing appointment.

Oh.

Cool.

And so do you put us all in
your phone under code names?

Am I "Blondie"?

No.

You're "Brianna Three."

See ya.

Robert, I'm going!

Can you pick up a rotisserie
chicken on the way home?

That's... quite a look.

It's dance rehearsal day.

They told us we need to
get used to the shoes.

So do I.

♪ You see We piddle, twiddle and resolve ♪

♪ Not one damn thing do we solve ♪

♪ Piddle, twiddle and resolve ♪

♪ Nothing's ever solved ♪

♪ In foul, fetid, fuming, foggy, filthy ♪

♪ Philadelphia ♪

Hey! That looked sort of right!

Thank you. Thank you very much.

This is a rehearsal I
wish I didn't have to miss.

You wouldn't have to if
you weren't so hell-bent

on working the rest of your life.

Only three days a week...
for the rest of my life.

Well, I'm just saying,

you too could be wearing buckle
shoes on a Tuesday morning.

May I remind you I didn't get cast.

And Bud needs our help.

We can't dump the whole firm in his lap

then leave him stranded so we can
both go off and "piddle and twiddle."

I'm not just "piddling and twiddling,"

I am also fighting for the 13 colonies

to declare independence, but no biggie.

Well, I'm trying to hold off a
civil war between the Clarksons.

Mine is more important.

Robert, yours involves
singing and dancing.

Obviously, it's more important.

Thank you.

Hello there, Moms.

Hey! What are you doing here?

I saw the article.

Grace, we've got a hit!
It's just Bud, but it counts.

- You read it?
- Yeah, I read it.

Coyote read it. Brianna
and Mallory read it, too.

Pretty impressive, huh?

Wasn't that a fun way to have
our company drop into the world?

Yeah, it's fun. Fun, fun, fun.

Uh, it made a big impression
on all of us. Uh...

In fact, we got you both a gift.

Oh, you shouldn't have.

Say hello to your new best friends.

Panic Alerts.

I have enough best friends.

This seems like a joke,
but I don't get it.

You were stuck on the
floor for an entire day.

Honestly, I didn't have such a bad time.

You couldn't even reach a
phone. We're all very concerned.

Bud, you know how much I love gifts,

but keep the drama for
your adult Quidditch league.

No one in this house is
wearing a Panic Alert.

It's not even aesthetically pleasing.

Although, to be honest, I do
have an outfit it could go with.

Hey, this isn't your
mother's Panic Alert.

These babies have GPS.

I mean, you can collapse anywhere!

It doesn't have to be the kitchen
anymore. You could be in the woods,

getting attacked by a bear, and
the EMTs would be right there.

Thank you, Bud.

It's completely unnecessary
and I hate it, but thank you.

How does this even work?

- Wait, wait, don't hit that!
- Ms. Bergstein?

- Is someone living in here?
- Is everything all right there?

It most certainly is
not, unwelcome stranger.

Uh, new client. False
alarm. Thanks for checking.

Not a problem. Have a good day.

You gave her something with a button?

You've been in an elevator with her,

you know she has no impulse control.

Fair point. But, Mom...

Agh. Nope. No sale.

Imagine if you'd been alone, and
you ended up on the floor all day

with no one to help you...
and something dire happens.

I would never be able
to forgive myself, ever.

Oh, Bud...

I mean, if you don't want to do it
for you, then, please, do it for me.

This house is made of stairs.

You've got to go down 30 stairs
just to get to the front door.

What are you looking at me
for? She does them in heels.

- Hey, keep my heels out of this.
- Why do you keep wearing them?

They're my trademark.

That's like asking Frankie not to dress

like she's going on a
granola run for her cult.

You're putting yourself at more risk.

Really?

Mm-hmm.

Fine. Fine. Maybe you're both right.

Maybe this is the time to start
compromising for safety's sake.

You know, vanity be damned.

But I just... I don't
know what to do with them.

Oh, here's something.

I think she's warming up to it.

Good morning, Joan-Margaret.

Morning, string bean.

There.

Um... I think this is your
personal mail from home.

Oh, for the love of Pete.
I'm sorry, wrong pile.

Not that I'm conducting personal
business on company time.

Oh! "Sol Days" in the office are
my favorite because of the laughs.

And the work.

Work? Work, work. Now I
know where Bud gets it from.

I think I had to make a few less
notes and corrections this week.

That's a good sign.

Is he doing okay otherwise?

Sol, let me tell you something.

If you had told me all
those many years ago

that the little boy who
stuffed my Tic Tacs up his nose

was gonna become my boss someday...

I would have believed you.

So... So, good?

So good.

Okay. Bye. Thank you.

Hey, Dad.

Whoa.

Sorry, probably shouldn't kiss the boss.

Or your 32-year-old man-son.

Can I get a copy of this,
please? When you get a chance.

- Coming right up.
- Thank you.

As soon as I freshen my Sanka.

Sanka? Sanka?

Sanka?

- I'll have a... I'll have a splash.
- We're good.

She cracks me up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yep.

Too bad I have to let her go.

Oh, there you are.

I, um... I need to talk to you.

Oh, I cannot believe
you're wearing that thing.

Yeah, I know, but maybe Bud's right.

We wouldn't have had to do
all that crawling to the phone

if I had one of these.

He's also right about the bears.

When do you ever go into the woods?

Bears are everywhere
now. There's a drought.

They're coming for our
water and picnic baskets.

This wonderful article
comes out, and instead of

"Hey, congratulations,
let's pop out the champagne,"

they give us Panic Alerts.

They meant well.

But when everybody sees
these around our necks,

they're going to look at us and say,

"Oh, poor old lady, she lives all alone.

She has medical conditions."

Nobody's gonna say that.

Nobody thinks of us
as "poor old ladies."

Oh, yeah? What about your friends?

What are you talking about?

Judy and Peter.

They called me "Poor
Grace" at your art show.

Maybe they said "pour Grace,"
like "Pour Grace another martini."

Or "Whore Grace."

I realize that's not a compliment,

but it's a lot better than "Poor Grace."

I know what they meant.

I don't want people
to look at me that way.

I want them to look at me and say,

"There's the lady that
created a business in her 70s."

But we're doing that.

Yeah, but it's not happening.

Frankie, we have a great product,
but there's a lot we don't have.

We don't have capital,
infrastructure, distributors...

The snacks, the mascot,
the theme song...

I thought you were
writing the theme song.

It's gonna be late.

I have an idea.

You're not gonna like it.

Oh.

Okay.

Out of respect for our friendship,

would you let me tender my
resignation instead of just firing me?

Frankie, you're an equal
partner. You can't be fired.

Really?

Because I was under the
impression I could fire you.

Just... hear me out.

I got an e-mail this morning from
an old colleague, Mimi Becker.

She runs Purple Orchid.

- Purple what?
- Oh, it's a big company

that specializes in adult
romance and intimacy products.

They have all the resources
in place that we need.

So she would be just
like our... partner?

If she's interested, yes.

I did like it being just you and me.

Yeah, I know.

I do, too.

But this is the only way I
can think to make it work.

Okay.

Thanks.

But only if you promise to
love me more than you love her.

Tell me you love me. I love you.

Tell me you love me.

Tell me you love...

You're fired.

You cannot fire Joan-Margaret!

Not fire. Ease out.

She's an institution here. You
can't just put her out to pasture.

Dad, she's been in the pasture
for years. She's past the pasture!

I cannot believe my own
son is being so ageist.

Dad, look at the cup of Sanka
Joan-Margaret just brought me.

That's how she makes it.

It's water.

But she's been here since the beginning.

Of time! The other day,
she brought me a document

with those tissues she
keeps under her sleeve

stapled to the first page.

Those are her "Joan-Margarets."

Robert and I had fun with
all of her little slips.

How about this?

I asked her to go down to the coffee
shop and order me a BLT for lunch.

- And?
- Look.

That's my BLT!

You always have to order two, Bud.

Really, Dad? I have to accommodate her?

I need to let her go.

- I can't agree with that.
- You know I'm right.

I can't agree with that, either.

Dad, this is my law firm now.

Don't I have the right to hire
the people that I want to hire?

Who do their jobs the
way I need them to?

Who actually help me out?

Bud, do you need anything?
I'm gonna go out to lunch now.

I'm good.

Okay.

Oh, Mimi.

Grace. Oh.

Thank you so much for meeting with us.

Are you kidding me? I
am so happy to see you.

God, you look fabulous.

Oh, thank you. So do you.

Oh, this is my dear friend
and partner in Vybrant.

- Frankie Bergstein.
- Yes.

Oh, I loved that piece on
Flapper. You are a hoot.

I know. I really am.

- Well, won't you sit down?
- Thank you.

Oh...

I'll swing it this way.

Grace... Now I gotta
say that I always knew

that you would be back
in the game someday.

Well, here I am.

Did she ever tell you about
that conference in Denver?

You mean the time we played hooky
and spent the day in the swim-up bar?

I started bartending.

No. Drinking straight from
a bottle of Sour Pucker

is not bartending, Grace.

We drove here together.

What was that thing you
said to me in the car?

Sit facing forward?

Oh, that's so us.

Well, I have a confession to make.

When I read about your
vibrator I thought,

"Why the hell didn't I think of that?"

Especially because we're trying
to get into the older market.

They're so underserved.

- Oh...
- Oh, we are in complete agreement there.

This feels like it was meant to be.

Purple Orchid, purple
dress, purple vibrator.

We're purple people.

Okay, I love your product.
I mean, I love your product.

Yeah, everybody who tries it does.

I think it could be really right for us.

But, you are targeting mature women,

so the only challenge
will be the marketing.

Honestly, that has been
our biggest stumbling block.

Okay, my team has been working on this

and I think that they might
really be onto something.

So if you have time, I would
love to bring them in here

- and let them pitch their ideas to you?
- Absolutely.

Okay.

Pitch to us.

As in, we don't have to do anything?

Yes.

That's my favorite
amount of things to do.

So glad we made these
sister dates a thing,

just me and you and your phone.

Sorry, um,

I'm letting Coyote park his tiny
house in front of ours for a while

in exchange for watching the
kids sometimes. As in tonight.

Are you insane?

He says everything's fine.

And he loves baby food.

Especially the pears.

How many times you think Frankie
dropped him on his head as a baby?

Like, ballpark.

Okay, say what you will,

I think he might be better
with the kids than Mitch.

Yeah. Because he's on their level.

They seem him as a peer.

Hey... is that your hooker?

Oh, Jesus.

I'm sorry, is it weird seeing
your prostitute out in public?

No.

Yes.

I mean, he's not my prostitute.

Not just mine, obviously.

Should we go say "hi"?

- I feel like we should go over...
- Stop.

- Whatever this is. Stop.
- Do you want to leave?

No. Then he might see me. I'm
just gonna get out of his eyeline.

You know we don't have
to do these sister dates.

Fine.

Vybrant is going to get our "prime push"

because of the unique and
exciting features of your vibrator.

You know, everyone wants
the hot new toy, right?

Well, I know we do.

It's going to be a major

national roll-out in stores
and then worldwide online.

Major roll-out? Worldwide?

Oh, my God, I am so excited.

Ms. Bergstein, are you okay?

You wore that thing?

It's cool. Nobody heard.

Ms. Bergstein. Do you
need help? Ms. Bergstein?

I'm sorry, I'm wearing this phone thing

around my neck and
it goes off sometimes.

It's Japanese. You've never heard of it.

Everything's fine, Myoko.

So, Mimi, you were saying?

Well, you know, actually I
was just about to turn it over

to our marketing gurus,

Evan and Katie.

Since it's such a unique product,
we want to put a human face on it

to make that personal connection.

In fact, we want to put you two
front and center in the campaign.

- Fantastic.
- Oh, my heart is soaring.

So, we went ahead and borrowed
some photos from your website,

and we made some mock-ups
just to give the flavor

of the kind of campaign
we're talking about.

Of course we'll do a proper photo
shoot with you when the time comes.

This should give you a good
idea of what we're going for.

I think they may have
touched you up a bit, Grace.

Are you kidding? Eh...

We look 12 years old in those pictures!

We've got others, too.

Oh, my God.

Amazing, right? I mean,
it really says, "Vybrant."

I thought you said you were
interested in the older market.

Well, we are.

It's just that we want to
reach out to women like us.

Like us now.

Yeah, but that's not how you sell it.

Look, the research is overwhelming.

Nobody wants to see older
women on a vibrator box.

And nobody wants to see older
women with anything sexy.

Not even older women!

You and I both know this, Grace.

You know, sex is... young.

But we're... older.

Not anymore we're not.

Let me just explain to
you how this could work.

- Okay.
- But Grace...

Yeah, no. Let them finish, Frankie.

Yeah, the most important thing
is we can get this out quickly.

Now we can help you realize every
dream you have for this product.

We want to make the two of you the
Ben & Jerry of vaginal stimulation.

Now how does that sound, huh?

Well...

Ms. Bergstein,

if you can still hear me, the
ambulance should be arriving soon.

Do not try to move.

Oh, God.

Thank you, Myoko.

- Right away, ma'am.
- Thank you.

Did you lose your date?

She's, uh... in the restroom.

Oh, with my sister.

So, how much more of
a fee is it for dinner?

Because I might spring for that, too.

She's not paying.

Oh, does she have a coupon?

No. She's my wife.

Come on.

I know it probably seems weird
to you, but she knows what I do.

She's okay with it.

She's not so thrilled with the idea

of actually meeting one of
my clients, however, so...

So, you do what you do with other women

and then you go home and
watch Scandal with her?

We love Scandal.

We're really looking
forward to next season.

Look... I enjoy you.

But this is my job.

I need something more in my
life. Something that's real.

Don't you?

- Perfect timing.
- Your car, sir?

What happened?

Things got weird.

She had a hell of a run, Sol.

Sometimes it's time to say goodbye.

I know, I know...

And, you know, retiring isn't just
about the person who's retiring.

It's about giving way
to the natural order.

Giving other, younger
people their chance.

I know your agenda,
Mr. Adams. Real subtle.

She's just doing her
little "Joan-Margarets."

Forgetting things...

maybe a bit more than usual.

Yeah, but once the memory goes...

And you know, Sol, this
is not the first time

that you and I have talked about it

being time for Joan-Margaret to retire.

When did we talk about it?

When we were on our way to Butterfly
Day at the Botanical Gardens.

Oh, yeah, you're right. That
was, like, two years ago.

Six years ago.

No, it wasn't.

Yes, it was.

I remember after the butterflies,
I had a hot dog and a Fresca,

which I ate while sitting on a
green bench near the lilac bushes.

Okay, stop showing off.

I feel terrible about this.

Sol...

"terrible" would be Bud not
getting the kind of support

and skilled help he
deserves at his firm.

- You know what, you're right.
- Mm-hmm.

And I should be the one
to let her go, not Bud.

She was our secretary first.

That's true.

You want me to come with you?

Though I'd rather not
because I'd probably cry.

No one deserves to be fired by
someone in tiny buckle shoes.

Mmm.

♪ Oh, baby, oh, baby ♪

♪ B-b-b-b-baby ♪

♪ Oh, baby I want you all up in my life ♪

♪ I want to make you mine... ♪

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Hey.
- Hi.

How did you do that?

I can never get them all to
sleep at the same time. Never.

- I played them some of my love songs.
- Ah.

Those songs I wrote that I hoped
would incite passion in women

all over the world? Put them right out.

I'd let you in to see them, but
if we were all in there together,

we might run out of oxygen.

It was mortifying!

The EMTs rushed in like
it was an emergency.

I can't have them doing that every
time I don't answer the Panic Alert.

Mom, that's what they do.

Well, I really don't like it.
And it may be my imagination,

but the dispatcher strikes
me as a bit of a smart-ass.

It's supposed to bring
you peace of mind.

It's actually done that for me.

Well, I guess your mind was so at ease

that you didn't bother to call me

since you gave me this thing.

Maybe these just provide a nice excuse

for kids to not check in
with their parents as much.

That is not what's happening here.

I think you gave me this
contraption to keep you calm.

You don't have to wear it
if you don't want to, Mom.

I'll call you more.

- I'll call you every day.
- Every day? Ugh.

I don't want to be tied to my phone.

Look, love ya.

Ultimately, there comes
a point when it's time

to hand it over to the
leaders of tomorrow.

Sol, this must be so hard for you.

It is.

I get it. I do.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

So when are you leaving?

Probably around 5:00.

No, I mean when are you retiring?

I...

I...

I'm not retiring. Bud still needs me.

Sol, can I show you something?

These are Bud's notes on your notes.

What?

He goes back and has to
correct your corrections.

He says you're changing
the way he wants it done

and he feels like you double
his workload and slow him down.

Bugger off, Dad.

He said that?

Well, that last bit I may
have heard only in my head.

I just wanted to make
sure he was successful.

Well, he's the one who has
to make sure he's successful.

And truthfully, he's not the only
one waiting for you to retire.

I've just been holding on for you, too.

Jesus, Sol, I've got to get out of here.

You've been staying for me?

Well, and I might have a
lien or two against my house.

But what are you waiting for?

Robert wants you to retire,
I want you to retire,

and Bud needs you to.

How many times have I
heard you tell a client,

"When it's time, it's time"?

I said that a lot.

In fact, I think I just said
that to you a minute ago.

Sol...

it's time.

How'd it go?

I'm Joan-Margaret.

What are you talking about?

It's time for me, too.

I did it.

I'm retired.

Oh.

I cannot believe you're
actually considering this.

What? You heard Mimi, this
is a deal-breaker for her.

And from a business
standpoint, she's right.

This is how you sell things.

And this is a way for us to be bigger
than we ever could have imagined.

Who cares how big we are?

I do. I need a success!

What kind of success do you want?

Do you want people to say
"Grace Hanson died rich"?

Or "Grace Hanson did
something for people like us"?

"Grace Hanson died rich."

Don't make me come
over there, young lady.

I know.

I know, the second one sounds better.

We cannot forget who
we started this for.

But I look so good.

- Oh, you look better now.
- Yeah, liar.

Back in the day this would be
an easy "yes" for me, hands down.

But now, big decisions are
becoming more about, I don't know...

"Will I regret it at the end?"

I like where you're going with this.

We can't play a part in erasing
the very women we made this for.

Bingo, baby.

Goodbye, Purple Orchid.

Yes!

Yes, yes, yes.

We'll be as successful as we can be.

Just you and me and our
little old lady business.

Grace, we've got 5,219
pre-orders on our website.

That is more than $200,000!

Oh, my God.

This means...

This means we can die rich.

Meet me up top.

♪ There's a brighter tomorrow ♪

♪ Just around the bend ♪

♪ Some will fall along the way ♪

♪ While others will win ♪

- ♪ But if you have the faith ♪
- ♪ If you have the faith ♪

- ♪ Mmm, and the will to keep trying ♪
- ♪ Keep trying ♪

♪ Life can be so rich ♪

♪ Mmm, and very rewarding ♪

- ♪ There's a brighter tomorrow ♪
- ♪ There's a brighter tomorrow ♪

- ♪ Yeah, show appreciation ♪
- ♪ There's a brighter tomorrow ♪

- ♪ A brighter tomorrow ♪
- ♪ There's a brighter tomorrow ♪

- ♪ Have some inspiration ♪
- ♪ There's a brighter tomorrow ♪

- ♪ Yeah, a brighter tomorrow ♪
- ♪ There's a brighter tomorrow ♪

Okay, good night.

Synced and corrected by
Dragoniod for - www.addic7ed.com -