All language subtitles for Crazy Ex-Girlfriend S04E13 720p HDTV x264-SVA

♪ Meet Rebecca ♪

♪ She's the coolest girl
in the world, wait ♪

♪ Wrong Rebecca ♪

♪ It's this one over here ♪

♪ She's spunky, she's sweet,
a generous friend ♪

♪ Oh, but there
she looks kind of mean ♪

- Hmm.
- ♪ Okay, she's snarky ♪

♪ Sarcastic and a...
What? ♪

♪ You know, we're not really
seeing a common theme ♪

♪ Meet Rebecca ♪

♪ She's too hard to summarize ♪

♪ So let's go back
to Other Rebecca. ♪

I own 15 ferrets!

*CRAZY Ex-GIRLFRIEND*
Season 04 Episode 13

Episode Title :
"I Have to Get Out"

Synchronized by srjanapala

Okay, when was the last time
you snaked this drain?

Never. I only owned this
place for five minutes.

By the way, why
are you doing this?

Tell Rebecca to
get a plumber.

No, dude, I'm just helping out.

I owe Rebecca.
She gave me a place to stay.

You know how much
I pay in rent?

80 bucks a month.

Also, her best friend

just had a heart attack

and she just went
on antidepressants.

I don't know, man,

sounds like you
love her.

What? No.

No, she... Dude, shut up.

Okay, nothing's going on
with us whatsoever.

I mean, sure she's
completely adorable 24/7,

and, yes, we did have
a massage moment

the other night that
almost got out of hand.

But she's seeing someone,

and that someone
is Greg Serrano.

Hey, tell yourself
what you need to hear,

but you got hard
feefs for her.

I don't have feefs,
hard or soft.

Rebecca is simply

my friend,
who needs a hand

in her time of heart attacks
and antidepressants.

Right.

Thank you so much
for squeezing me in.

I'm only free when Paula's
visiting hours are over.

It's important
to check in

when you start a
new medication.

So, how have
the antidepressants

made you feel so far?

Uh, well, it's only
been a week,

so I know it takes a while
for them to kick in.

But, honestly, very tired.

Hmm.
I keep having these episodes

where all I want to do is nap.

- Mm-hmm.
- Like I'm looking

at this couch right now...

and it's kind of begging
to be napped upon.

It's like, mm,

how you doing,
sexy nap couch?

And otherwise?

Mostly fine.

I haven't talked to
Greg yet.

And he doesn't know
about all the stuff

that happened
the other night.

I mean, he knows we fought
and that I was in a bad place,

but he doesn't know that
I went to Nathaniel's

and tried to...
you know, and that,

then I went home to Josh
and tried to... you know.

So have you
and Greg broken up?

Not exactly.
We keep meaning to connect.

We just haven't had time.

You know,
I'm busy with Paula

and I need to be there
for her.

I need to try to stay awake,
and I need to sort out

how I feel about being on meds
in the first place.

And what do you mean
by that?

Well, look, I've always
been afraid

of going on antidepressants,
but also it kind of feels

like a cop-out to me.

- Uhm.
- You know, like

I should've been able
to tough it out on my own.

I just... I feel
a little ashamed.

I understand why
you feel that way.

But I would ask you
to interrogate that feeling.

Mm-hmm. Okay.
What do you mean?

I mean, baby, lots of people
are on those pills.

Like, everyone.

Everyone, really?

Yes! That's what
I've been trying to tell you.

You're not alone in this.

Walk with me.

Okay.

♪ Fluoxetine, fluoxetine ♪

♪ Paroxetine, paroxetine ♪

♪ Citalopram,
citalopram ♪

- ♪ Take once a day ♪
- ♪ Take once a day ♪

- ♪ Fluoxetine, fluoxetine ♪
- ♪ Fluoxetine, fluoxetine ♪

- ♪ Paroxetine, paroxetine ♪
- ♪ Paroxetine, paroxetine ♪

- ♪ Citalopram, citalopram ♪
- ♪ Citalopram, citalopram ♪

- ♪ May cause dry mouth ♪
- ♪ May cause dry mouth ♪

♪ From the moment that
we learn to walk and speak ♪

♪ Our parents tell us
everyone's unique ♪

♪ Now, I'm not saying
that advice is bad ♪

♪ But, honey, you're
not special 'cause you're sad ♪

- ♪ Not special, no, you're not ♪
- ♪ Not special, no, you're not ♪

♪ The butcher, the baker,
the grocery clerk ♪

♪ They're all
on 20 milligrams or so ♪

- ♪ The movers ♪
- ♪ The shakers ♪

♪ The happy homemaker ♪

♪ You'd be surprised
how many of them know ♪

♪ Antidepressants
are so not a big deal ♪

♪ Big whoop, you're
on an antidepressant ♪

♪ Sweet cheeks,
here's the deal ♪

♪ Welcome to the club
with open admission ♪

♪ You're cast in the play
that has no audition ♪

♪ Yes, everyone is special,
that's usually the sitch ♪

♪ But when it comes to meds,
you're such a basic bitch ♪

♪ I lost my job and
for six months ♪

♪ I couldn't leave
my bed, yeah ♪

♪ When my husband died,
I stopped bathing ♪

♪ And watched Christian
TV instead, ooh ♪

♪ Now we're on pills ♪

♪ And it's less of a slog ♪

♪ Just ask
any abused rescue dog ♪

♪ The origins of life
are messy and imprecise ♪

♪ We're all the result
of natural selection ♪

True.
♪ So why should I feel crappy ♪

♪ About something
that makes me happy? ♪

♪ Though it may be hard
to maintain an erection ♪

- ♪ Maybe you should adjust your dosage ♪
- ♪ Maybe you should adjust your dosage ♪

I already tried that,
didn't work.

Have you tried
another medication?

Yep, but that one
made me gain weight.

Oh, that totally happened to me.

It got better
within a few months.

Thanks. Cool.

♪ Antidepressants
are so not a big deal ♪

♪ Big whoop, you're on
an antidepressant ♪

♪ Take two,
with or without a meal ♪

♪ Fluoxetine, fluoxetine,
paroxetine, paroxetine ♪

♪ Our lawyers won't let us
say brand names ♪

♪ Antidepressants
are so-so-so not a big deal ♪

♪ Big whoop, you're
on an antidepressant ♪

Conor, heel.

♪ Some cry that in the past
we didn't medicate everyone ♪

♪ Cool, witch trials
and the Crusades ♪

♪ Sounded like so much fun ♪

♪ Antidepressants
are so common ♪

♪ That taking them
is all we have in common! ♪

Where are you guys...?
Oh, I see,

we have nothing else
in common,

so you're just going back
to your lives.

Okay, cool, I'll just pose.

AJ, thank you so much
for covering for me

while I've been
in the hospital with Paula.

And I'm sorry if
I'm yawning a lot.

I'm still getting used
to my new antidepressants.

Oh, yeah,
that happened to me

when I started
my antidepressants.

Hang in there.

And, of course,
I'm happy to help.

I know how much
this place means to you.

I love being the chosen
custodian of your dream.

Hmm?

Your dream.
This place?

What, what makes you
think Rebetzel's is my dream?

Uh, because of those shirts.

"Rebetzel's.
Take a bite outta my dream."

Oh, okay. Well, that's... no,
that's to make people think

that it's my dream, so
they buy more stuff, right?

Like how Kate Hudson
pretends to love leggings.

Huh. Well, if this isn't it,
what is your dream?

My dream? I don't...
I don't know.

Well, if you've got
another dream,

you might want to get on it.

Life is short.
And you're not young.

Ow.

You know what?
It's fine.

Honestly, AJ, I'm just
really happy to be alive

and semi-healthy
and finally on meds, so...

So what if I don't have a dream?

Maybe I'll find one.
Maybe I won't.

But I have a lot of life
ahead of me.

Are you supposed to be studying?

Aren't you supposed
to be resting?

The bar exam is tomorrow, guys.

Tomorrow.

Yeah, I was thinking,

are you sure
you want to take

the bar exam
right now?

You can do it
next time.

Yeah. You just got
your heart sliced up

like a melon a week ago.

I have to think of it
as a fruit, so I don't throw up.

I mean,

Rebecca, what do you think?

That's, uh, that's melon,

yeah, no, melon,
throw up, yep.

Sweetie, you are so tired.

I know. Listen, guys,
they only give the bar exam

twice a year.

And if I have learned anything

from this horrible
heart attack experience,

it's that I could literally die
at any second.

So I have no time to waste.
The doctor's coming in

to tell me when
I can get out,

and I... you know,
where is my doctor, anyway?

God, it's so weird
how that doctor is the twin

of the doctor
who treated my UTI,

only that Dr. Roth

is an aspiring stand-up
comedian, and this Dr. Roth,

he's not funny at all.

Good morning, Dr. Roth.

It is before noon.

See? No sense of humor.

Oh, if you want comedy,

you should talk
to my idiot brother.

But if you want a stent,

then you should still
not talk to me,

because I gave you a stent already.

Come on, man.

Doc, I am doing so well.

I passed all my physical tests.

I walked up a flight of stairs.

So I was hoping
that I could go home today.

Yeah, please, she has
something really important

she needs to do.
It has to do with her dream.

'Cause she's one of those people
who has a dream, you know?

Uh, Mrs. Proctor, you look great

and you've had a
very quick recovery.

But we should stick to you
leaving as scheduled.

Okay? I'll be back first
thing tomorrow morning

to sign you out.

Okay. First thing
in the morning. Right.

Just, please, please
don't be late.

I mean, please, please
don't keep me waiting.

I'm here to see Paula Proctor.

Sorry, buddy. Your friend's
room is maximum capacity.

You're gonna
have to wait.

And have your I.D. ready.

Okay.

You also got
bopped on the nose

by the maximum
visitor rule, I see.

Yeah. Cool lady.

Got to love a nurse
with the aggression

and hostility of
a nightclub bouncer.

Who are you
waiting for?

Oh, my best friend Paula
just had heart surgery.

Oh. She's my best
friend, but I'm not hers.

It's hard to explain.

Oh, no. I get it.

I can't get the nod
from my friend Natalie.

She says I'm "one of
her best friends."

Oh, my gosh, really?

I mean, what is that?
Yeah, right?

Who are you waiting for?

My aunt is having
her appendix out.

Oh. She's gonna be fine, though.

Hmm.

Hope my bean dip's
not bothering you.

Some people don't care
for the earthy smell.

Wait, you-you brought
bean dip to a hospital?

Oh, are you one
of those, um,

"time and a place
for bean dip" people?

I guess I am.

And it's every time
and every place.

- Oh, wow!
- I mean...

Look at that.
I know.

That's crazy.

Hi, I'm April.

- Hi. Darryl.
- Hi.

Wow, it's so nice
to meet you.

So nice to meet you,
too.

Hey, you know, I was thinking
about going down

to the cafeteria
to grab a coffee

if you want to...

Yeah, let's do it.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- Oh... well, okay.
- I mean,

I-if we can talk dip.

Hi. Uh,
I'm here to see someone

who is here to see
Paula Proctor.

Why would I care about that?

I mean, you probably wouldn't,

but I really need
to talk to her.

We were seeing each other.

We were actually
in the "babe" stage,

and it was great,
but then we had

this really, really bad day
at Raging Waters, and...

Sir, don't bring your
drama onto my floor.

Now take a seat
behind the rope.

Okay. Yeah, I'll just, uh...
Oh, there is an actual rope.

Ah.

Hey, man.

Hey, Greg.

You here to visit Paula?

Yeah. Yeah, flowers.
Sure.

You?

Uh, Rebecca and I,

we were actually supposed
to talk at some point.

And she's kind of
stuck here, so I thought

I'd come by and...
and-and, and, yeah.

Ah. Got it.

Oh, good, it's Josh.

Hey, Greg.
Hey, Josh.

Josh, haven't seen you since...
Uh, so, Nathaniel, hey.

Oh, you guys already
know each other.

- I talked to Greg, yeah, already.
- Yeah, we already said hi.

You got tall.
Did I?

You're here to see Paula?

Yeah, flowers, so...

My sister recently
had a baby,

so I knew where to
get the good ones.

You didn't bring flowers?

No, I was here
to talk to Rebecca.

And flowers are already dying
by the time you buy them,

so you're basically handing
a loved one a bag of remains.

- Cool.
- Cool.

Well, uh, now that
that's all settled,

I think it's a good moment for
us to all go our separate ways,

moving in separate directions,
maybe quickly.

Ah. Yeah.

I'm a cough boy!
I'm a little cough boy!

Oh... hey, hey, buddy. Are you
supposed to be running around?

No, I'm not! I'm a cough boy!

Oh.

- Oh.
- Uh...

Whoa. Uh, excuse me,

did this young man cough
within five feet of all of you?

The little cough boy?
Yes, yes, he did, just now.

Oh, that's unfortunate.

You've all been exposed
to a very rare

and super-contagious strain
of squirrel flu.

What?

Who run the world? Squirrels!

You three know each other?

Oh, uh...
Uh, uh, a little bit.

- Yeah, kind of.
- Uh, yeah.

Great. Well,
you're about to spend

some quality time together.

In quarantine.

Let's go, gentlemen.

Uh...

Where is the doctor?
I knew this would happen.

He should've been here
30 minutes ago.

All the other students
are sharpening pencils

and knocking back Adderall,
and I'm just sitting here.

I know, I know,

but don't worry.
He'll be here, okay?

We told the nurse to page him.

Okay.

Oh.

Just wanted to let you know
that Dr. Roth's

finishing up his surgery.

Finally.
And he'll be back

this afternoon
to sign your release.

- Wait, no... this afternoon?
- Mm-hmm.

Oh, that is way too late.

No, no, no. We need, we need
another doctor, stat.

Can you sign her out?
I mean, you're wearing scrubs.

You kind of look like a doctor.

You'd think. Nurses do
all the emotional work,

and we are the backbone
of the hospital, but...

you need to be signed out
by your cardiologist.

That's the hospital policy.

What am I gonna do?

This is hell.

Guys, I can't sit in this
awkward silence anymore. Okay?

Is it just because we
dated the same girl?

She chose someone. Greg.

Right? She did
choose you, right?

Uh, yeah. Yeah, I mean, yes.

And, you know, there
might be bumpy stuff

in your relationship,
moments where she got an ATV

and went off-road, but
at the end of the day,

she fired up Waze and she
made her way back to you.

Right?

Yeah.

Well, then there's nothing
to be awkward about.

Right, Josh?

Uh, yup. Nope.

You know, in fact, I think we
could... and should... be friends.

After all, Greg, you and I were
gym buddies for two seconds.

And, Josh, you and I
killed game night.

Yeah. We realized we
have very similar father issues.

Dr. Man Akopian high-fived me
for making that connection.

And you guys were
buds from way back.

Look, I see a lot of potential
for a friend trio here.

Like, a real-life
Three Musketeers reunion?

Who wants to be d'Artagnan?
Me.

Sure, the three of us
could be a cool little crew.

And the funny thing is, Greg,
you and I could've been friends

- even earlier.
- Yeah?

Yeah. A few months ago,
when White Josh and I were

having a beer,
and he texted you

to come join us?

Wait, what?

A few months ago?

That doesn't
make any sense.

Greg hasn't been back
in, like, two years.

I think
he's gonna figure it out.

Hold on, hold on.

Anything could be
happening up there.

Greg, you came back to town
and didn't tell me?

You came back
to West Covina

from Atlanta and saw other
people when you were back?

Like White Josh... I mean,
did you see Hector, also?

Uh, yeah.

I'm sorry, man.

Hey, Dad?

- Hmm.
- Can we get Arby's on the way home?

- They have the meats.
- Sure, honey.

We also have to have a talk
about how Paula ended up

needing heart surgery,
at some point.

What are you looking for?

- Nothing.
- Nada.

Oh. Wow.

April, hi.
Hi.

Wow, it's good to see you.
How's your aunt?

Oh, uh, her appendix burst
and she went into septic shock.

Oh, no.

I'm kidding.
She's doing great.

I didn't see that coming.

See, that's funny...

Hello, Chloe.

Madison.

Wait,
you two know each other?

You could say that.

Can you ever
really know

someone who deliberately
scheduled a sleepover

the same night
as your cake-decorating party?

And can you ever know
someone

who knew the sleepover
was scheduled

and refused to move to
an earlier cake-decorating time?

Because cake-decorating
can happen earlier?

I knew this would happen.

Where is the damn doctor?

He is gonna make me miss
my bar exam.

Okay? You know what?

I'm leaving.
I'm just gonna walk out.

Wait, Paula, if you leave
without a signed release,

insurance could refuse to pay
for the entire procedure.

You know a lot about insurance.

Yeah, my husband the surfer
can't tell the difference

between a slippery rock
and a stingray,

and he loves stepping on both.

We're here a lot.
I love my husband.

Oh... I'm sorry. Whoa.

Sorr... oh...

So, okay, it's fine.

I'll just start my legal career
in six months

and keep working as a paralegal
and keep reading my book

on Felix Frankfurter.

One of the longest-serving
Supreme Court justices.

No!

Oh, my God, what happened
while I was asleep? No!

Uh-uh. Ladies.

Are we really just gonna
stand here while Paula

is forced to postpone
her dream,

so that some doctor
can save a life?

Nuh-uh, not
on my watch.

I mean, I think it's clear
what we need to do here.

We got a big old breakout
on our hands.

What? No. I've been
exfoliating diligently.

She meant break out
of the hospital.

Yeah. Great. Got it.

- Okay. You know I'm in, so...
- Mm-hmm.

Let's do it.

Mom, can I have a dollar
for the vending machine?

Oh.

Here you go, sweetie.

I guess our girls
don't get along.

Yeah, I, I got a hint of that.

So I guess they won't be
doing any playdates or...

taking any trips
to the mall.

Or going
to Disney on Ice together

and snuggling under a blanket,

wondering how all those
characters know each other.

Oh, you mean us.

You're talking about us.

Yeah, we can't hang out.

This is a bummer.

I just thought, you know,
for a minute, you and I...

It's so hard to meet someone,
and this feels...

easy.

But the kids are
the most important thing.

Absolutely.

I'll always remember
your bean dip.

Okay, bitches, listen up,
I have a plan.

So here's what we do.

We find some doctors' coats,
pretend to be doctors.

We also find a gurney,
we put Paula on the gurney,

pretend she's a dead body,

we push the gurney
out of the hospital...

No one notices a thing...

Then we sneak her back in
after she's taken the bar.

But first, I'm gonna nap.

Just, no-no longer than 45
minutes, 'cause I'm so tired.

- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- No, no, no.

Okay... no, no nap! No nap!
No nap, you're right.

You're right. No nap.
I love my friend.

Look, Greg, I know you and I
went through some drama

because Rebecca
was obsessed with me and then

she was with you and then
you got drunk at a wedding

and then I had sex with her
in a vintage car.

But we had
gotten past

all that, and then
you ghosted me for two years?

Look, you were with Rebecca,
and engaged to her,

and a little distance
seemed healthy.

I didn't call her

when I came back
to town, either.

No, I-I hear what
you're doing, okay?

Sounding all evolved and stuff.

Well, guess what. I'm in therapy
now, so I speak that lingo,

and I can tell you
that your actions

have made me feel judged,
which is quite unfair,

because I have never
judged you, ever.

- Josh...
- Okay, guys, let's stay positive here.

Like, when you once
got so drunk,

you had sex with a bush
in my front yard.

- Did I say anything?
- No.

I'm sorry, sex with a...
A bush. A bush.

He had sex with a bush.

In my defense,
it looked like a lady.

Bush looked like a lady.

Don't make jokes.
It's not funny.

I had to tell my mom an ostrich
escaped from the zoo

and buried its head
in her garden.

Okay, quick thinking, Josh,

and congrats on
your agility, Greg,

but let's-let's talk
about something else now,

anything else.

Oh, wow, auditions
for an Elliot Ellison revue.

Huh. I wonder if they're doing
the original arrangements

or the crappy ones
from the movies.

Eh, who am I kidding?
I'm front row either way.

Take this.

Gurney!

No, no, I don't want
to hear it again.

You called me out here
to tell me a joke?

Oh, no, the Doctors Roth.
I don't have time for this.

It's important, though.
I just came up with a whole new

comedy area,
airplane food.

It's gross, it's tiny.

Sometimes it's free but
sometimes it's expensive?

What?

I'm busy. You're gonna have
to try it on someone else.

No, no, please,
please, please, please.

You're the only person I trust
with this kind of comedy.

You have such a good
sense of humor.

Okay.
Okay, great!

Okay, have you noticed
that they're selling

all these chicken wraps,
but it's, like, what,

have you never heard
of a sandwich?

I mean, did your bread
get run over by a Kia?

Ks are a funny sound. Most
people love Ks. Is that... Okay.

Ha-Have you ever noticed that,
like, they're putting

the-these wraps
on these-these flatbreads?

But it's, like,
pa-no, panino...

panini-no. Uh-uh,
pa-no, thank you.

Panini, no, thank you.
Panina, not now-now.

Well, you're giving me
dead eyes, and I hate

when you give me dead eyes
'cause I love you,

but I just don't feel
like we're connecting.

I have to go.

What's this gurney
doing unattended?

This is not supposed to be here.

All right, well,
off to the morgue.

Uh, Dad.

- Hmm?
- Paula's getting out today.

We can just see her at home.
Why are we still here?

- No reason.
- You want to see April.

- No, no, no, I don't. Yes, you do.
- You do, you do.

Look, I know how you
feel about her daughter,

- and so it can't be.
- Dad.

- Okay.
- Is it?

Yes. I'm your
and Hebby's father first.

But if you want to spend time
with her, you should.

Chloe and I will
get over ourselves.

No, really,
it's okay.

The fact is, dating is hard
and you can get hurt.

I'm fine. April is just a nice
lady I met in a waiting room,

and that is all.

But maybe she's
your person,

and if you don't spend time
with her, you'll never know.

Madison, it's fine,
I promise.

She's been gone too long.

I called her, but it went
straight to voice mail.

Oh, I'll do find your iPhone.

You know her log-in?

I mean, you know the
answer to that question.

Okay, I got a dot.

Huh. She's in the basement
of the hospital.

- The basement?
- No.

This poor
guy died two days short

- of his 30th birthday.
- So young.

Probably thought he had
all the time in the world.

Yeah, you're right,
makes you want to live your life

to the fullest,
no regrets.

I hear you. Smoke break?

Yup, if we leave
now, we can smoke a couple.

What?

Hello?
No, no, no, no, no!

No! Ugh!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Hey!

I'm in here. Someone let me out.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Hey, Rebecca...

don't... wait...

too... late...

what... is... your... dream?

What weird places
for the voice mail to cut out.

Wait.

♪ Okay, I get
what's happening now ♪

♪ Now, now, now ♪

♪ I'm literally facing
the specter of death ♪

♪ Death, death, death ♪

♪ For the most part,
the universe is chaos ♪

♪ And that's just
how life goes ♪

♪ But occasionally things
line up where you're like ♪

♪ Ew, life,
that's so on the nose ♪

♪ Because sometimes life decides
to be annoyingly obvious ♪

♪ About when it wants you
to make a change ♪

♪ And you're just supposed to be
in awe like a putz and go ♪

♪ "Wow, life, sometimes
you're magical and strange!" ♪

♪ Oh, my God, this corpse
is named Rebecca ♪

♪ So is this corpse
and so is this one, too ♪

Okay, I get it!

♪ Oh, wait, this corpse
is named Steve ♪

♪ But three Rebeccas
is still super weird ♪

♪ Oh, whoa ♪

♪ So what's the point
of me being down here? ♪

♪ Who knows? ♪

♪ I wish an obvious clue
would appear. ♪

"Tuesday, 8:00 p.m.

"Please prepare 16 bars.

Be prepared to dance."

Oh, my God.
Are you okay?

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I'm-I'm okay.

Okay, come on, let's
get Paula out of here.

She can still make
the bar exam if we hurry.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. Okay,
let's go, let's go... come on.

Oh, God, let's
get out of here.

I... She... We
have no time to waste.

- Okay.
- Yeah, totally.

Oh, it stinks in here.

Okay, this way, this way,
this way.

You know what? I don't care
we're not friends anymore.

Actually, that's great news

because now I can tell you
how I really feel.

You don't deserve Rebecca.

- I'm sorry, what?
- You heard me.

Look, I've had my issues
with Rebecca over the years,

but I was always nice to her.
You were a dick to her.

You're not good enough for her,
and you never will be.

Oh, you were always
nice to her? Oh, okay.

Well, so sweet of you to leave
her at the altar. Really nice

of you to join the priesthood
and not even let her know.

Honestly, I am shocked

she even talks to you after
the way you treated her.

Ah!

- Oh, my God.
- Ow.

Look what you made me do!

- Okay...
- I promised my sensei

I would never use
my karate on someone

who is not my physical equal.

Are you calling me weak?
I'm not weak!

I've been hitting the gym.
Ask Nathaniel.

I've been going
to Cardio Boxing

three times a week at 9:00 a.m.

Catalina says I'm almost
ready for the big gloves.

I love the noon class,
personally.

Are we doing this?
Oh, we're doing this?

- Guys, let's take a breath.
- Nope.

- For a second here, huh?
- Way too late to be cool.

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Real-life fighting
is awkward... ♪

- I got him! I got him!
- Aw, this is getting bad.

♪ It's not like movie fighting ♪

♪ Testosterone is rising ♪

♪ But you're really just
grappling and writhing ♪

♪ Oh, real-life fighting
is awkward ♪

♪ There are no cool
sound effects ♪

♪ Punching doesn't sound
like anything... ♪ Ow!

Oh... oh, my.

♪ You often hurt yourself ♪

♪ More than you hurt
the other guy ♪ Ow, ow.

♪ Real-life fighting
is awkward, yeah ♪

♪ Even if you know karate ♪

♪ You have to both agree
to use karate... ♪

- Kiai! Kiai!
- Oh, wow.

♪ It can't just be one guy
using karate ♪

♪ You got to have
some ground rules... ♪

What?

Oh, that tickles.

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

- Ow!
- Oh.

That was cheap.

I don't know what to do now.
I don't know what to do.

♪ It's not like
theater fighting ♪

♪ It's not graceful ♪

♪ There's not a lot of leaping ♪

♪ You don't have the presence
of mind to leap ♪

♪ And there's no choreographer ♪

♪ Keeping things
from looking awkward... ♪

- Yeah. I'm confused.
- Yeah.

You for... here you go.
- You... forgot the chassé. - Thank you.

- Aha. Three, four,
- So, and one, cross, two, three, four,

- chassé, five, and six,
- Five, and six,

- jump, seven, eight.
- Gather everything.

- A-one, look, two. One, snap.
- That's fun.

- You got it? You got this.
- Contraction.

- You got this, you got this.
- Have a good show.

- Thank you.
- Oh, my God, you're doing great.

- Ready? You're gonna have a good show.
- Are you sure?

'Cause I'm really just
a singer who moves, but...

- No, but that's really good.
- Thank you. It's a dream role.

- Again.
- ♪ Real-life fighting is awkward ♪

♪ It's not like
sci-fi fighting ♪

♪ You can't stop time
momentarily ♪

♪ There are no
futuristic weapons ♪

♪ And even if you had
a real weapon ♪

♪ You'd be freaked out
by the weapon ♪

♪ A weapon makes
everything too real... ♪

Whoa.

Uh, I'm sorry. I... this is...

Take it easy.

Okay.

- Wow. I don't even know...
- Okay.

- Well, I don't know.
- I don't know.

♪ Back to that clumsy,
awkward fighting! ♪

So, Shwammy, tell us
how the squirrel flu began.

The squirrel
flu began in the jungle,

spread to domesticated cows,
then back to squirrels again.

You'll have to ask your parents

how the cows gave it
to the squirrels.

Oh, my God. Whoa,

is this part
of the show?

No, it's not!

No, it's not.

Oh, hey, kids.
Um, these two grown-ups

are being very silly,

fighting over a girl.
I'm gonna get 'em to stop.

The Little Cough Boy
wants a fight!

Fight for the Little Cough Boy!

Guys, guys...

Come here.
Come on...

- No... Get off me.
- Hey, hey, hey.

Easy, easy. Come on.

It's definitely
in here, Mom.

And I need my phone.
It's prime Gram hour,

and I need
to check the likes.

- Hi.
- Hi.

I lost my phone.
Have you guys seen it?

Oh, no, but we-we'll take
a look for it.

You know what we should do
is just call it.

Oh, uh,
that's-that's a great idea.

Wait, now, where...
Where is my phone?

Wait, where's Madison?

Wait, where's Chloe?

The Cough Boy

is free!

Folks, you've been
exposed to a rare flu.

Come with me.

Have a fun quarantine.

Yeah, enjoy

spending lots and lots
of time together.

This way, folks.

Thank you.

Watch it, watch it.

Slow down but hurry up.

- Good job.
- You, too.

Hey, should we Gram
this moment?

I'll Gram, you're tagged.
Let's just start there.

Fizzy.

You know,
after Rebecca dumped me

and said a bunch of devastating
things about my character,

I went out and I bought
a bunch of books

about ethics
and morals

and-and people and-and
kindness and all that stuff.

And one of the
things I learned is,

the opposite of love isn't
hate, it's indifference.

You guys fought

because you care
about each other.

Yeah. He's right.

Look, we grew apart, but I still
care about you, dude,

and I always will.

Yeah, me, too.

So we're not best friends
anymore, but...

we're still bros, right?

Yeah, man. Bros.

All for one...

Oh, man...

Guys, do it. Do it.

Get your hands in there.

And one for all...
I'm d'Artagnan.

I called it.

Okay. There and back
without anyone noticing.

Our breakout was
a roaring success,

not one complication or problem,
just like Ocean's 8.

I think that this was
the best day of my life.

A heist and a long legal exam
that I was totally prepared for.

I mean, just heaven.

God, you know,
watching you there,

in the bar exam room, just
taking that test, it...

it was amazing.

- You were so happy.
- Aw.

You watched for a few minutes?

Actually, I watched
for the whole six hours.

What?

I did take some standing naps,

but it was just so inspiring,
I had to.

Okay, there is something
behind that smile. Come on.

- I...
- You okay?

I...
Yeah, you know what?

- To be honest, I envy you.
- Really.

The way that you've gone after
your dream, just unabashed,

I-I don't think I would have
the courage to do that.

You have Rebetzel's. Wait,
you're not happy at Rebetzel's?

I am. I just...

I haven't found my thing.

And Rebetzel's isn't my thing,

it's just the thing
that I did next.

But there's a thing.
I mean, there's-there's

something you've dreamt about.

No, not really.

Well, yes.

Mm... There is.

But...

I don't know. It's dumb.

It's dumb, and I've just never
had the courage to pursue it.

Well, honey,

if we know one thing,

it is that we are all gonna
end up in the hospital basement,

for reals, at some point.

Okay? So,

before that happens,

maybe you should give
this dumb thing a try.

Okay, so I have
some exciting news.

I just signed up to audition

for a local community
theater production.

Do you think I'm insane
and delusional and a weirdo?

- Uh, no way.
- I mean,

it clearly makes you happy.

I mean, look at you.

I know.
I'm so excited.

Oh, God, this just...
It feels really right.

Theater always keeps
coming up in my life.

Just the other day,
I fooled two medical professionals

into thinking that I was dead.

And I really took on the role,
you know?

I felt so alive,
being dead.

Well, I-I know
you're gonna be amazing.

Thank you.

Thank you. You're so
supportive and sweet.

Oh... I'm really glad
you're my roommate.

I mean, God, who would've
thought we could be just friends?

Yeah. Yeah, we are just totally,
completely only friends.

Yes. Exactly.

Thank you.

Oh, that's Greg.

I'll, uh...
Just give me a second.

Greg. Right.

Hi.

Hey.

What happened?

Oh, yeah. Well,
you should see the other guy.

Oh.

How's Paula?

- She's so much better.
- Thank you.

- Good.
- Um...

So, you were right
the other day about...

me being behind
on therapy.

I was... I was really behind.

And, uh, I started doing
the work again,

and I'm finally on meds.

Yeah.
And I'm still

getting used to them,
so if I fall asleep

during this conversation,
that's why.

Well, that's great.

About the meds.

Yeah. Um...

and so, after we fought,
I felt really abandoned,

which is a major trigger
for me.

And I got...

really drunk...

and then I kind of went
to Nathaniel's apartment,

and then kind of had a
weird massage moment with Josh.

Not kind of.
I did. Um, I did.

And nothing happened, but yeah.

Rebecca.

Come on.

I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.

And look, I just...

we started dating,
and I got really behind

on my mental health stuff,
and that is on me,

that is not on you.

And I think I just need
to take a beat now

before I get
into anything serious.

Yeah, I would say so.

Wow.

But I still really care
about you, like...

so much.

Me, too.

I don't know, friends?

Okay, yeah.

Probably for the best.

Yep.

Hey, man.

Hey.
You okay?

Didn't see you
at the noon class.

Catalina and I missed you.
She brought your gloves.

Yeah, I, uh...

Rebecca and I, we're
just friends again.

It didn't work out.

Oh, man.

I'm sorry.

Thanks, man.